243 Transcript: Creating a New Vision: Embracing Change and Welcoming New Possibilities for Love and Wellness

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here. Continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And on today's episode, we are going to work with a beautiful volunteer, Sylvia, who has been experiencing pain and some issues going on with her health and also Some pain in her relationship, and what is beautiful is that her mindset and her shift and watching her release her own pain and begin to create shifts in her health is just absolutely beautiful and just really shows how incredible our minds really are.

So I love that. And just, she had beautiful self awareness, beautiful self honesty, a beautiful heart. I mean, we just get the most amazing volunteers. So I feel blessed for that reason. Now, before we dive into today's episode, there's just a few quick things that I do want to note. And it's this, it's that you'll hear me say all of the time that on this journey of healing, when I first started it for 20 years ago now, I would have thought it was impossible to really heal using my mind, except for one thing.

There was evidence everywhere about the power of the mind, you know, the placebo, or stress affects the physical body, or, again, the pivotal one for me was also looking at multiple personality disorder and the awareness that different personalities with the same body But different personalities could have different illnesses.

It was just mind blowing at how that could even be possible. Especially for them to have an incurable condition in one personality, and the next personality is healthy, and the next personality has asthma or allergies. It was just, uh, showing and evidence. about the power of the mind and how incredible our minds really are.

Now, there are a few simple things, a few things that I started looking at with the mind because for me personally, I still had that skeptical part that said, but I had an accident and I had an injury. You know, as you may recall, you know, I used to work in network engineering and operations and technology, all of that.

And I had an accident and then a fall and my entire life changed. And so part of me kept thinking, but can my mind really heal my physical body? How is that even possible? And when it came to emotions in the mind, initially I felt like, you know, we're weak. You know, we just, in our culture, we don't really think about the real influence of the mind for most of us.

And one of the things that was very profound to me was the awareness that our thoughts and emotions could influence our energy. That was profound. Now, I know for a lot of people, they think energy is just a spiritual concept or woo woo and, and don't get me wrong, I love the woo, but it is also scientifically proven.

And that was profound to see as well. And as well as the research behind it. And you know, it was initially discovered. Over a hundred years ago by medical scientist, Alexander Gerswitch. And what's mind blowing is that he was nominated for the Nobel prize 11 times after his discovery and also won the Nobel prize or similar to the Nobel, Nobel prize in Russia, which is incredible.

And if you think about it, fast forward a hundred years to current modern day, it's, there's still research being done on it. And there's actually something called the NASA agreement. And underneath the NASA agreement, there's this database that is maintained by our government. The Smithsonian and Harvard.

And there are current studies, even recent studies as recent as like last month that are in this particular database showing the power and influence of the energy. And what's kind of incredible is that, I mean, a lot of people don't actually think energy of the body is real, or they don't know that this energy has been around over a hundred years.

And also what's fascinating is that this research shows that this energy can communicate information throughout the body. And the mitochondria, the body, use this information, or use this light energy to communicate information. Or even that our thoughts and emotions have the ability to influence this light energy.

And so it's powerful. And furthermore, by the way, I mean, we could go down the rabbit hole, but this light energy research has shown that different illnesses. emit different energies. So that's another thing. Or even that this light energy has the ability to influence healing of the cells. So cell proliferation, it can actually positively affect them or negatively affect cells.

And that research is profound as well. So point being, it's just very simply that for me, I had been overlooking the importance of emotions. You know, just thinking of them is not that important. And yet, They can influence this light energy and this light energy has the ability to influence cells and Communicate information throughout the body such as homeostasis.

That's what research suggests that it it can communicate things like homeostasis so just Powerful and the more that I saw that not only the awareness that our minds could influence our physical body but just the awareness of how You Impact, how much impact it could have, which is profound. And so either way, point being is just the more that we get used to the awareness of the mind, the more that we understand it, the more that we can use it to radically shift our health and our life.

And that's what this episode is about, is you'll notice as our volunteer begins creating a shift in her life, that not only is she being able to start healing herself, but There's a really profound shift for her relationships that opens up that is just beautiful and you can see just the awareness, the epiphany, her heart.

It's just, it's really, really sweet. So I love that. And you know, again, the more we understand our own minds and what is possible, the more we all have the ability to change our health. and our lives as you'll see as we step in to our session with our beautiful volunteer Sylvia. Here we go.

It is so wonderful to meet you. Thank you. You too. I am so grateful. I can't believe it. This is, uh, this is a good sign for me that I'm here talking to you today. I take it very well. I'm happy. I love that. I love that you're happy. And what can I do for you today? What can I help you with? Uh, I don't know.

Um, It's been a very difficult six months. Um, the past six months I experienced, um, some health issues that I can get rid of. Um, I don't know what they are. Um, it, it looks like everything is okay. Um, You know, with the doctor appointments and tests, but I definitely don't feel okay. I'm kind of lost and I, I've never been this way.

Um, first time I'm 43 and my entire life, I always. And I, I always chase after what I want. I always got it and always lived very happily. Um, but it's been six months of, uh, depression and, and not knowing who I am anymore and what I want anymore. Um, so I, I'm looking for ways to, um, find myself again and heal myself again in a non conventional way, because conventional way says I'm fine and I found you.

And, um, and are you experiencing physical pain or what are your physical symptoms? What have they been? Uh, so everything started with really bad, bad verticals. I've been like on a boat feeling sensation for the past six months. Um, I do have a lot of pressure in my head. Um, but earrings and that, and I, that I feel like with that I developed some sort of depression because I couldn't figure out what that was and, and I, I, I'm still kind of depressed.

Okay. And you said some type of boat feeling. Yeah. You know, when you are out of balance. Yes. And zero to 10, how much can you, can you, how much are you feeling that feeling right now? Okay. Right now, it's not so bad. I, I, I was very happy to meet you and I'm in a better state of mind just because I knew I was, I was meeting with you today and, and when I do feel better, uh, I, you know, I know that our mind is wonderful.

I can do amazing things. I, I haven't nailed the way to actually make it work in my favor all the time, but that's why I'm here, I think, to learn from you. So, I am, I'm, I'm actually pretty good at the moment, uh, I feel like perhaps a three or a four, thank goodness, um, but normally we are go to nine or ten.

Okay. And if I ask you how much pressure you're feeling right now, how much pressure are you feeling in your face? About a five. Okay, and um, bingo. Alright, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. And are you married? Yes. Yes, I'm married. And how long have you been married for? I've been married 10 years.

Okay, and, um, bingo, bingo, and if I ask you, uh, can you, um, if I ask you, can you find a bit of frustration in that area, a bit of stress in that area, we'll say? It's very stressful. And so if I ask you, why has it been feeling very stressful? We talking about, um, a splitting up, um, because, um, We don't communicate well.

Um, there is a lot of love between us, um, and for our children, for our family in general. But we, we speak two languages. Literally is I'm from Italy and he's from U. S. but We just literally, not a matter of words, it's just we communicate in a different way and can meet our, our needs, I guess.

And can you see the part of you that feels, um, disoriented from it, like spinning from it? Like, I don't even know what to do or what to go or what does this mean? Like there's all of this, uh, feels like your whole foundation is shook from this, uh, this whole topic. Yeah. Yeah. Can you see that? Yes, I can see it.

Okay. It is really an out of balance situation. And, um, bingo. So, bingo. If I ask you how much you can find a feeling of feeling like a pressure to hurry up and figure it out, what would it be? Um, how much can you find that feeling of pressure to figure it out? And, um, bingo. There's also a feeling. Okay. So that's one piece.

There's also a feeling. If I ask you zero to 10, how much he is your security? What would you say? The pressure is over the roof and. And the security is also zero to ten, it's a ten. So if I told you that suddenly I feel like I'm under huge pressure and I'm also feeling like I've lost or I'm going to lose my security, can you imagine how I might feel in that moment?

Yes, weak and spinning. So if I ask you a question, If I ask you, do you guys want it to work out? Do you want the relationship to work or do you feel like at this point you just want to separate, but you're just, um, you're having a hard time doing so, what do you want? I don't know. I don't know what I want.

I haven't known it for a long time. I figured I really wanted to work it out at first. I just came back to the States because. We have been living in separate country for a couple of years and me going back and forth to put the kids in Italian school so they can learn my culture. And coming back this past week, I figured we will work something out together.

We'll see a therapist, um, and try to make it work. But I hear that it is, is kind of done. It doesn't. He doesn't want to go ahead and try. So I think we are going to split up whether I want it or not and I'm going to respect whatever he wants. It comes from a place of love and, uh, and respect. Um, but it's hard.

I don't know if I want it because I was, I was in my head. We were going to try at least one more time with some support. Okay. And so he says that He's done and he wants to move on, right? Yeah, I think so. He wants to just separate. Okay. Okay, and out of curiosity, if you knew, if you knew that things would get even better, even if you guys split up, if you knew that everything would actually get better, how would you feel right now?

Happy. Good. I feel really good. You feel really good, right? So you guys have been going through this for quite, for several years, right? Yeah. Okay. So your thoughts help create your life, right? Yes. Okay. So if he says, if there's a decision and he says, okay, well he's done, then what would happen if you said, okay, well I'm going to have the best life with respect and with love and all of that.

Okay. Now there's a decision and. Now you know what direction to go and you say, look, I'm going to have the best, wonderful life ever. And I'm going to move forward. And you start deciding what it is that you want and, and move it forward. Like if you knew that, if you knew you would be safe and you knew your thoughts help create your life.

And you said, okay, I'm going to get a vision and I'm going to go from here. How would you feel right now? Excellent. I'll be excellent. Right. You know, Right? If I told you I was spent several years in unknowing and unsure, but not like, and, and the unknowing and trying to figure things out for several, several, several years.

And finally, there's a decision you go, okay, well, at least there's a decision. All right. If there's a decision. Then I'm going to move forward and I'm going to make it great. It's kind of like this. Have you ever had a relationship end before that you felt like you didn't quite want to end yet? Right.

So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her heart. I love her self awareness. really beautiful. And also, you know, if you think about it, I'm asking her to start with getting her vision of where she wants to go. And if she knew everything was going to be great moving forward, how would she feel?

What would that look like? And, We kind of know this. We know that we're supposed to think about the positive and focus on that. So, of course, there's so much more to it. Because as you heard me say in, you know, earlier on that I had been doing the meditations and the visualization and all the positive things and it wasn't working.

However, getting a vision where we do want to go can be a very important step because we need to start focusing, of course, on exactly that of where we do want to go and We want some depth to it. We want to really also feel differently. And so, something that you could do is if you've been in this situation and you've told yourself, you know, something like, I'm never going to have the love I want or I'm never going to be loved again or anything like that, of course, you know, our thoughts help create our lives.

So, I've seen people do that very thing and end up stuck manifesting that. However I've also seen people manifest and leave a relationship and manifest the best relationship they have ever had. And let's be honest, I think many of us have been in that situation before. It may be, you know, there was a relationship in our past from, you know, our teens even, or a high school sweetheart, or twenties, or whenever that is.

But in the past, we're in 30, whenever that is. A past relationship where at that moment in the relationship, we wanted it to last forever. And whenever it fell apart, we crushed and then we moved on and found an even better relationship that we say, you know what, you know, that relationship was great, but this one is even better.

And that's the point is, you know, the more that we create that real transformation, the more that obviously we, we create a better and better future. It's not just about getting a vision and thinking positive and all of that, it's really about feeling that, knowing that, taking that feeling to a deeper level.

And this is what I would say is this, is a lot of times people get hopeful, but then they have mixed emotions. For example. Somebody might say, well, I hope to, to manifest an amazing relationship, but I don't expect it'll work out. Or I expect if I find somebody, he'll be married or she'll be married, or they'll leave, or marriage doesn't last forever, or relationships don't last, or whatever that is.

And so they have all of these mixed emotions that keep them from manifesting and really aligning with the relationship that they do want. And so my point in this is just simply that. Starting to get a vision moving forward is great, and to really make it pivotal, we, we have to clear our mindset. We have to embrace a real change, and a deeper level of transformation as well, which is exactly where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer.

So yeah, here we go.

Yes. And that's what I'm focused on. I'm trying to remember how actually I was rebirthed. After that split up, my whole life got so much better. Exactly. But you know, that's what happens is, is when we have the breakup, sometimes it feels like, Oh, this is kind of hard or it hurts and then we go, okay, look it.

Okay. If we're going to, and you use it to pick yourself up and you say, okay, I'm going to start really focusing on next level. Now you have a direction. You go, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to work out. I'm going to feel good. I'm going to feel safe. I'm going to get my vision. I'm going to go towards what it is I want.

I'm going to, I'm going to make it even better. Even, I mean, with my injury, you know, I was injured wheelchair walker cane. I was an absolute mess. And I said, okay, I'm going to start getting a vision. I'm going to get it in. I'm going to feel safe. I'm going to focus on where I want to go. I'm really going to start embracing that change, right?

Now, if I ask you how much he has been your sense of financial safety, what would you say?

60, 70 percent I put in my work. Um, but he's, he's, yeah, he's been our rock because. I left my, uh, career, uh, three years ago, uh, so that I could take care of our young children. And I'd be happy to do that, but he had to take care of some things that I could not take care of. So yes, it's been an important, um, Okay.

So if you said, okay, you're going to roll up your sleeves and you're going to start figuring out and getting yourself back in next level, the next level of you, you said, okay, game on, like next level. Who, who do you want to be moving forward and saying, okay, getting back to your career or getting back to and saying, okay, let me, let me get this vision and let me start moving it forward.

What would that feel like to you if you really started tapping into more and more of your strength and just making some decisions and said, okay, this is how, this is how I need to move towards to feel secure, to feel happy. What would that feel like? It would feel really good. I just wasn't able to because that's what I normally do.

I, I focus. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. Now I'm going to ask you also to notice for a moment the part of you that, bingo, that in some ways feels like it's your fault and blames yourself. Can you see that? There's a feeling of guilt. Are you familiar with that?

Guilt. For. Mm hmm. Um, bingo. It's like a feeling of guilt for being better, for not being better, for not doing better, for not, it's just like this, uh, this feeling of like beating yourself up. For not doing better, being better, et cetera. Can you find that feeling? Yes. Yes, actually I do. I wish I was better sometimes for sure.

I can totally. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you what it would feel like to stop beating yourself up. To stop beating yourself up at all and instead change it into feeling of loving self. Feeling like, okay, Sylvia, you've got this. And even inside your mind, you feel like, I've got this, I can do this.

I know I can do this. I've done this before. Now it's next time even better. It's going to be even more incredible. And no beating yourself up, no feeling bad, no regret, no upset, no any of that. But you, but being nice to yourself and supporting yourself. Afforded to you and kind to you. What would that feel like?

Alien. It was so weird. Alien. Great. Someone asked you to breathe. Now, if I asked you the level of pressure in your face, zero to 10, what's your level?

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a few moments. Now, first and foremost, I love her personality, her sense of humor, her playfulness, her alien comments, um, just that it's boring, it just, her heart. She's just beautiful. She is just beautiful. Now, a few quick insights. First and foremost is this, is that she just went from a level five to a level one, and it seems so easy.

And that is the insight that I want to bring in, is that notice how she said that we're creating this shift, and she's doing incredible. And she said, you know, it felt alien, foreign to her. And That's the point. Now, if we think about this, all of the time I emphasize to people, you must reinforce and get this emotion in over and over.

You must make it your new norm. And that's the reason is that if she's feeling like this pattern, this emotion is foreign to her, then she's going to need to really reinforce it to make it her new norm. That's going to be key. And so another way to say it is when we start thinking in a new way and feeling in a new way, we have to establish new neural pathways.

And so we have new normal ways of thinking and feeling. And so, you know, when I say repeatedly that I make this look really easy, I do. And when I say repeatedly, it takes genuine follow through and reinforcing to get it in It does. And that's what she said so well right here when she said, when I, when she said, when I said to her, how does that feel?

She says, alien, foreign. But notice, it's also the change that is needed to help get her pain down. She just went from a five to a six. To a one in creating the shift. And so it is key for creating that change. So of course there are other insights as well. And that's where we're going as we step in back in with beautiful Sylvia.

Here we go.

Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and take in that foreign feeling, uh, that new feeling of feeling like you're going to be kind and supportive to yourself. Genuinely. And I'm going to ask you to breathe. and taking in the feeling of what it feels like, just allowing yourself to breathe and saying, okay, I know I can do this.

I've done this before. It's going to be even better this time, because this time you're more knowledgeable, you're more aware. And so this time is even better. And, it's just going to, it's, it's brilliant. It's going to be even better, but you're going to be kind to yourself. No feeling bad, no berating yourself, no being mean to yourself, but just really kind to yourself.

And I'm going to ask you to breathe. And what does that feel like? What does it feel like to be kind to you? I feel strong. I feel gaining some strength back. Bingo. Gaining your strength back. Now, out of curiosity, if you start proceeding and moving forward now, where you're in your What is your vision moving forward look like?

Getting a job and to get on my house and my kids. And living the best life ever, taking it to the next level, finding your next relationship and next, next vision moving forward that says, okay, it's, it's divine timing, right? It's beautiful timing. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you to notice the feeling of taking in your strength and also being nice to self, taking in your strength.

And being nice to self. So good. Fantastic job with your energy. That feels good. And if I ask, doesn't it? It feels so good. It does. And if I ask your level of pressure, zero to 10, what's your level? It's, it's more relaxed. My, my face is relaxed. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. All right. So give me one second.

Give me one second.

Alright, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment, you know, first and foremost, she's fantastic. She's doing it, she's making the change, beautiful, and also something I mentioned to her was, you know, it's divine timing, and the thing that you'll hear me say over and over again is just the awareness that.

Every health issue is, the way I see it, is like a spiritual check engine light. And, you know, like if you're driving a car and the check engine light comes on, then you know that something is off. And if we're going through life and we're having problems, or hardship, or pain, or illness, there is some type of health issue.

Check engine light, if you will. There's some type of spiritual check engine light to tell us, hey, something is off and we need to fix it. And what's beautiful is as we fix it, the problem changes. And so divine timing is that not only is it, it's just the awareness that she's needing to really change this pattern, to step into feelings of self love.

So that's really important. And also Then she can create a change in her underlying patterns that are really going on. And that's part of where we're going is looking at what pattern is coming up for her. Because there's something else that's really manifesting at a deeper level that will be pivotal as she changes it.

So that's where we're going to go. But there's one other insight that I also want to share, and it's this, is that, you know, you hear me saying to not feel guilty, to not feel bad. That's ultimately what you'll want to do in a relationship. I refer to it as this. I say that, you know, when things happen, you'll always want to take 100 percent responsibility for your 50%.

And what I mean is that, you know, in any relationship, everything always manifests for a reason. So we always have some part in it, whether it's our actual behavior or our emotional patterns. And so we want to take responsibility for our part, but not another person's part, because this is what happens. If we just blame somebody else.

A hundred percent blame somebody else, then we feel like a victim. Or if we blame ourselves, we feel guilty and bad. And the truth of it is, is typically speaking, in any relationship, it takes two. Typically there's something going on, and of course, also every relationship does manifest for a reason. And so, we always want to Notice, why did that happen?

And you know, the analogy or the example that you'll hear me use all of the time, the unfortunate example is this, is just that you'll hear me talk about the woman with the abusive father may leave him and find the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, et cetera, that pattern can continue. And while we can have so much compassion for that situation.

We can also see how the subconscious mind works. You know, in that situation, it's not like this woman would say in that scenario, it's not like she thinks to herself, Oh, well, I hope to get an abusive man. No, not at all. Instead, she says consciously, she says, I want somebody who's loving, who's sweet, who's kind, who's caring.

You know, that's what she consciously wants, but we see how patterns in the subconscious mind can show up. And that's my point is that In any relationship, if it manifests, there's always a reason for it, even if we don't see it initially. And so, there's a few things you want to note from this, is that of course, not blaming self, not blaming the other person, but instead, moving it forward.

How do we move this forward and make life better? Even better and shift the patterns. And that's where we're going as we step back in with beautiful Sylvia. Here we go.

Okay. So bingo. So there's another piece that you'll want to know, and it's this. Can you see the part of you that, um, feels judgment towards divorce and separation, like you were never going to be that and never do that. Like there's some judgments you have. Can you see that about yourself? About, well, if we separate, then that's not who I'm supposed to be and et cetera.

Can you, can you see that? Yes, I, I can. I, I don't, I'm not opposed, but I don't like it. Okay. So out of curiosity, If your kids were in an unhappy marriage, when they grow up and they were in an unhappy marriage, would you rather they stay in the marriage, or would you rather they move on from the marriage and find more happiness?

Definitely move on. And that's not the example I like to give. Okay, so, what'd you say? That it's not the example I would like to give. I don't want them to see unhappy parents staying together unhappily. Yeah, so being willing to make that change and then stepping into your strength and creating an even better life, that's a great example to give them on making sure that you're happy, right?

And so, um, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. Great. And so if I ask you to take that in all of the way, and there is no guilt, there's no feeling bad or criticizing yourself for not being good enough or this, that, the other, bingo. Um, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And if I ask you zero to ten, how much you can find the feeling of perfectionist in your past?

Zero to ten, what would you say? Exploding ten. Exactly. Exactly. So, uh. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. How do you know all those things? Um, bingo. Um, bingo. That's what it does. I was checking into Universe because I asked, okay, is it complete that now she's feeling relaxed, she's feeling more into her strength, her pressure's gone, this is what she needs, and it said, Universe said, Nope, actually, there's something else that I'm supposed to give you.

Uh, and I said, okay, well, that's what I was having. That's what I said. One second. I'm having this conversation. Um, bingo. And that's what it said. It said the perfectionist. So the, the heart on yourself, the core of it comes from perfectionism. Um, and if I ask you, by the way, bingo, uh, can you give me your mom's first initial?


S. And can you give me your father's first initial. S. Bingo, okay. So it's, it's, so there's a feeling of feeling like you need to be also perfect for him. Uh, can you find that growing up?

Yes, it's It's very, very true. He was never happy. Um, bingo. My father was, wasn't, wasn't very happy. You, it's a long story, but make it short. You, you had some schizophrenia growing up and it wasn't easy to deal with it. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you how many times you felt with your Um, in your relationship, how many times you felt that, no matter what I do, he's never happy.

And I'm trying, but no matter what I do, he's just never happy. Um, if I ask you how much you felt that feeling. What did you say? I'm sorry. Pretty much 10 years, every day, all day. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. And this is what's exciting. Right? So if we look in psychology, we know patterns breed more of the same.

So if we look at even Freud's work, or we look at, you know, we can call it law of attraction, or we can look at repetition, compulsion, reenactments, attachment theory, whatever we want to call it, our patterns breed more of the same. We're on a simple note. Maybe you've heard before that a woman with an abusive father can leave him and find the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, et cetera, right?

That pattern continues. Now I'm not saying your relationship has been abusive, but what I'm saying is You grew up feeling a father that you always had to be perfect. And no matter what you did, it still felt like he just wasn't happy and hard to please and just not happy. And that continued on. And so the beautiful thing is, is here you are in this moment.

You can see, do you see the correlation between your father and then, and your, um, relationship you've been in? Can, can you see the same feelings? Um, showing up. Absolutely. Very much. So what is exciting is this, is you're here in this moment and you're becoming aware of the pattern. And as you heal the pattern, you can change and move forward.

So part of your vision moving forward. So we said, okay, look, having the strength to move forward is exciting, but also thinking about instead of saying, Oh, he's never happy. And they know that he's never happy in no matter what I do. And he's never, now you go, okay, now I'm going to get a vision of a relationship.

Where he is happy and it's happy. And we do please each other in the most beautiful way. And it's easier and it's more in flow. And so you start giving your It will feel so good. It will feel so nice to feel loved and appreciated for who I am. And, you know, just. You know, just the way I am, it will be really good.

Yes. And that's this opportunity you get in this moment. That's what's beautiful is you say, okay, let me look in the pattern. Now, this is what happens with our love connections is it's just like, you know, if we grow up speaking English or we grow up speaking Italian, or we grow up speaking German, whatever language, that's the language that we're used to.

And so if we think about patterns of love. Your pattern with your father was like a language that says, no matter what I do, I feel unloved and not appreciated and he's never happy. And I try and try and try and he's never happy. So that's been your emotional language, the love pattern, if you will. Can you see that?

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, I love her aha moment. I love her awareness. I love that she can see that pattern and the connection. What's beautiful is this, as we talked about, you know, that any health issue that comes up is also an awareness of a check engine light, where we can look deeper and see a pattern that's creating a lot of hurt or wounding in our lives and take that pattern and put and transform it, and it becomes, uh, uh, pivotal.

Now, there's a few things that you want to note from this, is that sometimes in a relationship, as people start to see their patterns, they think that, oh, well, they must now need to leave the relationship to make that change, but that's not the case. You know, meaning that I have worked with people who have had patterns where, you know, they've been in a marriage for 30 years, or 40 years.

And they've had the same patterns going on for a long period of time. And then they notice it's been an ongoing pattern from something in their childhood. Maybe it was their grandparent or a sibling or whomever. Somewhere it showed up somewhere and there's some type of pattern. And then what I've seen happen all of the time is people will heal that pattern.

They shift it and it shifts the dynamics. of their relationship. And so I've seen people before where they'll say, Oh my gosh, my husband is suddenly just so much more loving and kind and close or just respect. Like there's just, there's so many different changes that I have seen throughout the years. And so that's the first thing I want to emphasize is that as you're seeing this, if you think to yourself, Oh, you, you see a pattern in your own relationship and you think, Oh, well now I have to get rid of my spouse.

That's not the case. Like it might be. You know, it might be in some situations people will go to create a change and And they do need to leave. There's about maybe it's a really bad situation So and of course if it's abusive, you'd always want to leave but my point being is that that all of the time I see the dynamics of Relationships shift and it's not just in the in the romantic relationship either I've seen people shift patterns and then you know their relationship changes with their family or friends or, you know, just in a variety of different ways.

And so that's the point that you'll want to note. Now, in Sylvia's case, the beautiful thing is, is this, is that, you know, now she has an opportunity to genuinely transform this pattern and create an even better relationship. Now I do have to say, I have seen situations where a person changes and then things actually work out.

like, that, you know, the relationship heals and it does work out, or that a person goes on and manifests an even better relationship. And so, you know, uh, being open to whatever it is, because ultimately that's what you want is the love, the connection, the better relationship. Now, another key piece that I want to say is that, is this, is this doesn't mean that her ex is a bad person.

You know, he's never happy. Maybe he isn't never happy. Maybe he's not. And what I mean by that is this, is that when we have patterns, it also can affect our perception. So, in other words, let's say that somebody has a pattern of feeling like a victim. Then everywhere they go, they might feel see themselves as being a victim, or somebody else has a pattern of feeling criticized.

And what can happen is they can always feel criticized no matter what, even if you're not criticizing them. And you may have had that experience before where you go to say something to somebody and they feel like immediately criticized. Even if you're not criticizing them, they might feel that way. And so my point is, is we can have patterns that are true or not necessary, or are not true, but it's just perception.

Okay. And so as we change, we can not only change what we're manifesting, but we can also change what we're perceiving. Now, if I build on that with a little bit more complexity, there's also another key part to note, and it's this. It's that the patterns that we do have can also affect our unconscious behavior.

And this is what I mean. Is it, if you think about an example, if you take an example maybe of a woman who's experienced a lot of hurt or rejection or abandonment as a child. Now let's say she experiences abandonment, rejection, abandonment, rejection. What can happen in her behavior is she might show up and she might be really, really needy.

which could create more abandonment. Or, she might be hot and cold, which could create more abandonment. Or just cold. She's afraid to get too close, which then always makes her feel abandoned. Or, even controlling and jealous. Now, if somebody's controlling and jealous, it can increase abandonment also. And so my point is, is it sometimes where there's a wound, What can happen is we have unconscious behavior that can perpetuate the very problem and keep it going as well.

And so, if you have a pattern, you'd ultimately want to change it and also notice if it's showing up in your actions as well. So, it's not just in the mindset, we also want to make sure and create a genuine transformation. It is so key. And so, If we look at this situation, we don't want to say immediately, Oh, the husband is horrible, or, you know, maybe, maybe, maybe, but I love what she said in the very beginning.

And she said this, she said, it's like, we're speaking two different languages. And it just very well said is there's, there's a, there's a disconnect and likely he has, of course, his patterns too. And then she has hers. And that's what happens in. Can happen in any relationship. And of course, as we look at what those patterns are and really heal them, either we can heal the relationship that we're in and transform the dynamics of that, or then manifest a relationship that does work in a more beautiful way.

And so it's just, it's incredible when we really understand the underlying patterns and we can empower ourselves to transform them, to change our lives. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with Beautiful Sylvia. Here we go.

So what's exciting is now creating a new vision that says, okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe and you see yourself in a relationship that is loving and you feel loved and it feels easy and you notice he's happy with you. You're happy with you. He's happy with you. You're happy with him. And it's a love.

It feels easier and more in flow and more loving and, and easy. And it feels safe. What does that look like? It's the same. Beautiful. It's a nice light. And that's what's exciting. Yeah. So I would say it's exciting that you're not splitting up, and I would say not splitting up when you're 70 to then figure it out, but now, and I, I say that, but I've seen even people in their 70s who split up and then got a new relationship and had the best relationships of their life.

So at any age, but what I'm saying is, you know, Is it's exciting that you get to do it now? So yeah. And that you're still youthful, young, radiant, beautiful, and, and full of life. And it's, it's a, you know, and I know that, you know, it's a change and it takes courage to step outside of our comfort zone and change, and I get that.

But it's an exciting time to do that. Does that make sense? Very true. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much. You are so, so welcome. You are so welcome. Now, I do want to say just one thing. So notice how the pressure went away. Your face feels better. You did that. Now, this is the thing is if you go back into the negative, it will come back.

But if you start, if you just move it forward, that's when I see the body heal itself. So it's kind of like if, if somebody is in anxiety and panic attack and then they stop. And they get rid of the anxiety. Great. But if they go back into it, then it comes back. And so what I would say is, even as we wrap up here, I want to invite you to write down your vision and write down and say, okay, look, I'm going to step into my strength, not criticizing.

I'm going to support myself. I'm going to be lovingly kind to myself. And I'm going to create a vision of the best love ever, where it This is an opportunity to create the best relationship ever that is not a pattern of my dad, but is a new pattern of love and connection and really embrace that and write out what that looks like.

Does that make sense? Very. Yes, absolutely. I do. I have a question. Thank you. You're so beautiful too. I am so grateful. I really appreciate this time you've taken. I got in touch with, uh, with your team because I really wanted to take the course, but I, I wasn't able to because lately I, I spent all my savings just trying to figure out what I, what I was having and they, they proposed this podcast and I couldn't believe it.

But now that I feel so much better and, and I know I can, You know, it's, it's a, a brighter looking like future. I would love to take your course and purchase it from the team and I, I was wondering if there is anything you suggest I should start with. I, I like to, you know, keep having you in my life and that might be a good way for me to have directions and, and gain some more strength back.

Which, which one of your courses do you think I should start with? Um, I love the Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. And, and what I love is, um, so it's the gift method, that course and, and what I love is, is yeah, going through it. There are, there are also recordings in there that help you to get and tap into more of your strength over and over and over again, so you feel it more.

And there's. Yeah. So it's, it's beautiful because it helps you to stay on track and to help program the emotions and, and get them in really strong. So, and my team can help with any of that. Okay. Beautiful. I love that. And I love, you are absolutely, you're absolutely so beautiful and so wonderful and, uh, you're so welcome.

It has been such a pleasure. Thank you. Oh, mine. Oh, mine. Thank you so much.

All right. So, bringing everything together, one of the insights that I really want to highlight that was perfect during this session was that she said it felt foreign, like alien was her word, foreign. And the thing of it is, is this is the very reason that I emphasize over and over and over again, that. A person must follow through to get real results.

Because if you stop and think about it for a moment, for something to feel foreign and then to become our new norm, there's a level of follow through it takes to embody that. Now I can tell you, I have worked with people before who have made an incredible shift and Their pain never came back. Once they saw the change, they stayed in it.

They reinforced it and they followed through beautifully. And it was wonderful. Now, I have also worked with other people who have made the shift, have gotten their pain gone or issue gone, and then they got. They went back into the negative for one reason or another, forgot to follow through, et cetera.

And the shift did not become their new norm and the issue came back. And then they had to reinforce again and again to really get rid of it. And sometimes there can be layers in the subconscious mind. And so one way to think about it, we've all heard before of somebody who You know, maybe an alcoholic who stops drinking who then has a stressful day and then goes back to drinking or something like that.

The same is true here is that a person can be working on making that shift and then something comes up and of course then they go back into the negative. And I did the same on my own journey. So I mentioned I would share Even more, and I will, I'm going to unpack even more, not today, we don't have quite enough time, but the long and short of it is I also had patterns of guilt.

I had survivor's guilt, even from 9 11, you know, I felt bad for surviving, which of course doesn't make logical sense, but I actually felt guilty for surviving and that impacted me at a deeper level than I ever would have realized. Much like Sylvia, my pattern of guilt had started in childhood, so I had different things going on.

And I'll unpack that even more, but that's the point, and that's the awareness, is that when I say that this check engine light, if you will, this spiritual check engine light woke me up to then also address my patterns and to create that pattern. Shift in my own life. Now I can tell you also, as I was working on healing myself, I made some incredible changes as I was figuring it out.

And then there were times when I got triggered and then I went back into the negative and I had to figure it out and I had to fix it. And so I just want to be authentic when I say that it does take follow through. It does take clearing the patterns. There can be layers and there are, can be things that come in life that Trigger you that, yeah, bring your awareness and, and that you really, really have to change.

And so this is the very reason that I always emphasize that I make it look very easy and also it does take genuine change. And so that's really the key part that I want to highlight from today's episode. And if you notice that you're changing and you do get triggered into the negative, don't give up, don't stop.

Just keep going, but make sure to of course, clear the. The subconscious mind, the triggers, and by the way, the subconscious mind can be very counterintuitive. Much different than most people realize. Even though we make it look easy here as we go through it, it can be so counterintuitive that it doesn't make logical sense.

And that is actually part of where we're going on next week's episode is exactly that. That is gaining that deeper level of understanding on. why things can feel more elusive or counterintuitive or complex and kind of unpacking that to help unravel it and make it easier. So that's where we're going on the next episode.

And as always, I want to ask you, please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode, you know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and loved and loving and empowered every single person is in our world, the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do hit the share button on this episode and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, fantastic, loving rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope, or touched their heart, or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone.

What we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible.

And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.

com slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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