255 Transcript: 255: Letting Go of Guilt to Release Pain and Open Yourself to Receive

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love today's episode for so many reasons. You know, first and foremost, our volunteer is just so sweet. You just want to hug her.

She's so sweet and lovely and loving. And I just, I love that energy about her. It's just precious. It's beyond precious. And so I love that. And another thing that I love are just the distinctions and the insights that come from today's episode. You know, when I was going through my own journey, there were certain insights that were really pivotal.

And for more than the last decade, that's a lot of the things that I've helped people to do to be able to get radical results have been those. Key breakthrough insights where they can really understand what it is they need to do to create the shift, to heal themselves and release pain or create the change in their health.

And that's one of the things that I love also about today's episode is that our beautiful volunteer had been on that. Similar type of journey. You know, she had been doing all of the things and meditating and thinking positively and trying to heal herself. And yet it wasn't working. In fact, as you'll recall, we talked about on the last episode that some of these things.

would actually increase her pain. And what I mean by that is this, is that when I worked with Cordelia, our beautiful volunteer, the entire session was about an hour long. And so I split it in two. And last week we've listened to part one insights. And then today. is the second half of her session. Now, as you'll recall, last week, we had been talking about her feeling stuck and her pain just being more and more intense and feeling like she couldn't get the results that she was wanting.

And we also ended the session with the feeling of feeling like when she pictured herself Feeling healthy and happy and going to the gym, her pain actually went and not down. And I have seen that time and time again, because of course, in working with the mind, there's more to it than just seeing yourself as being happy and healthy and fit.

And so one of the many things that I love about today's episode is. Exactly. That is that you'll notice she has pivotal insights where she's, her eyes are open to a new way of thinking and feeling. In fact, after the session, she typed in and she said, I'm so amazed. Like my whole perspective has changed.

And she also said, I don't know how or why, but my pain is gone. And of course, those were the insights that she had. we discussed. It was beautiful that she was able to get her pain down and she did it. And so, that's where we're going as we step into the second half of Cordelia's session. Here we go.

I, I see that and, and something very weird that I've noticed is when I start Visualizing myself going to the gym and doing all these exercises that I love and I used to do, the pain starts even just if I imagine going and doing things. Uh huh. Bingo. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. So notice the part of you that feels like if you don't do things for them that you're a bad sister.

Can you see that? Yes. Yeah. Zero to ten, how high? Ten. I see it a lot. Okay. Now, I have a question for you. Do you have to do things for them, for your sister? Do you have to do everything for everybody? Do you have to? No, I don't have to. Okay. Now, how can you, how can you learn to say no sometimes? Yeah. I think, I feel that I have to have a reason for not helping.

Bingo. I get it, which is then becomes a reason to have a health issue, because now if you have a health issue. Yes. a health issue, then you feel like you have a reason. Can you see that? Yes. Yes. I love, love, love your awareness. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and when your sister asks for things, is it horrible?

Is it, like, in other words, my point is, you said that you feel very awkward asking for things, right? Yes. Does that make any sense? No, no, because I don't like that I have to ask or feel like I'm going to be a burden. I think that that's the thing. I feel like I'm a burden if I ask things to be done for me.

Okay, so I want you to notice all of this imaginary stuff in your head. That you feel like you're a burden. Oh my god. That if you ask for things, it's a level 10 of awkward. It's a level 10 of awkward, and if you ask then you're a burden for things to be done. Wow. I mean, is it really true? No, no, no, it's not.

It's not at all, right? No, it's not true, but um, I mean, maybe, I don't think everyone will be thrilled to do favors for everyone, but you do them because you love the person. So, I guess I'm not thrilled to do favors, but I do them because I love the person. So when I ask, it's normal that they're not thrilled to do a favor for me, but they'll do it lovingly because they love me.

But I just don't ask. Right, but also, you know, I have a question. Are there some times when you like to do a favor for somebody? Yes. So, that's the sweet spot, so, so what happens if you say, oh, can you do a favor for me? Oh yeah, can you do a favor? So if you create a flow That's what's really important. It's so funny.

In my life, this is what I call it. I know that I love to give. I love to give. I love to be generous. I feel like if I have a, somebody who's in my life who's just a taker, like they only receive, receive, receive, receive, receive. Then it doesn't go so well because it feels very one sided. But if I feel like I have givers in my life, what happens is then it becomes like a give fest.

Like I just want to give and give and they want to give and give. And so it's like a sweet, giving, love, lovely give fest. Does that make sense? Yes. So, what happens is if you create that in your life, to where you feel like you're able to receive and then give and receive and give, it feels sweet because it feels like a recipro it feels, it just, it feels even better than just doing things only for yourself.

Like it feels like a, like a, a sweetness of caring and loving and giving and reciprocity and sweetness and, you know what I mean? Does that make sense? But you have to be willing to receive. But the thing of it is, is notice, you feel even awkward in receiving. So watch this. How comfortable do you feel receiving?

Actually, I think I feel comfortable receiving, but, uh, I noticed that in some cases I think that it's still a burden. I mean, an example that I can think of is I was dating a guy that lived very far away from me and he was willing to come pick me up, but I was feeling like the burden, like, oh my God, the gas that he's wasting.

Yeah, and then you were a complete waste. Like, how dare he spend that on you? You're not even worth that, right? Yeah. Damn. Or maybe you're worth that. Maybe it's okay. Maybe he actually wanted to come see you and you were worth that. Yes. Yes, of course. Yeah, if I said, oh, I'm dating somebody and they're coming over to drive and pick me up and I feel bad that they have to drive to pick me up, how am I doing at receiving?

Fatal. So not, not so impressive, right? No. So, so ask you to breathe. And can I ask you, can you get better, because it's kind of like this. When you do something for your sister, how bad does she feel about receiving it? Zero. Zero. Zero. Okay. When people do things for you, how bad do you feel about receiving it?

I do feel kind of bad. Ah, so maybe you're not so good at receiving. Yeah. I haven't realized that. I always thought that I was a good receiver. But not really. Yeah, maybe not really. I mean, I, I, I like, no, I notice I like to receive, but I always end up feeling Bad because of the other person is like, we stop using things on me, but I love to receive.

You went to go say the other person is wasting things on you? Is that when she went? Yes. Oh. Yes. Yes. So if I said to you, I feel bad receiving, I feel like the other person is wasting things on me. But I'm a good receiver. I'm good about receiving, but I always feel guilty when I receive, but I like to receive, but I feel bad and guilty about receiving.

How does that look? Yeah, it's a bad cycle. Like I'm not getting, I'm never getting satisfied if I, if I want to receive, but at the same time, I love when people give me things, I don't, I always feel bad. So it's a bad cycle. Exactly. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, I want you to notice something for a moment.

If I said, I feel always bad about receiving, and I don't want people to waste things on me. If I said that, how open does my energy, my energy feel to receiving? Closed. Closed. And then if I say, it's not fair in life, nobody's ever doing anything for me, I feel like I always have to do for them, I'm never receiving from other people.

Well, how open is my energy to receive from other people? I don't close because it's a place of lack and desperation. Exactly, and not wanting them to waste things for me or inconvenience them for me, right? Yes. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, but notice if you're sick and you're injured, if I ask you how much you're more able to receive, what would you say?

Yeah, a hundred percent. I have a reason to. Bingo. So, the thing of it is, is I want you to have a reason that, to, that you're, the reason is that you're good enough. The reason is you can receive. The reason is not because of illness. Illness shouldn't give you a reason to say no or a reason to be able to ask for something or a reason to be able to receive without guilt.

You don't need illness to do that. You just need to change your mind to do that. Yes. How does that feel to you? I, I can imagine that scenario and it feels better. Mm hmm. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I'm going to ask you to take in the awareness that you can receive and that you're willing to start opening up your energy more to receive, to, to take things in, to receive and to just feel gracious and grateful for receiving.

And gracious and grateful for receiving. Great, and I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I want you to notice your level of pain. Zero to ten, what's your level? I would say 4. 5. It's still there, but I feel it slowly like beating. Bingo. Okay. So I want you to notice the feeling.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love her heart. I love her self awareness. I love her sweetness. I love her self honesty. Just really, really beautiful. It just makes you want to hug her. She's just so huggable. She's so precious. And what I also love is the insight right here, and it has to do with the feeling of deserving.

You know, sometimes what happens is this is, you know, I talk about deserving, and sometimes people will automatically link it up with worthy. But deserving and worthy are two very different things. So notice what she's saying. It's like if she feels She feels like she deserves to be able to say no. So it's not really worthy of saying no, she feels deserving to say no.

And by the way, just kind of continuing with this insight, because it is, it has been a kind of a big glitch, if you will, when I'm teaching my work. A lot of times, as soon as people hear deserving, they immediately, immediately think worthy. And one way you want to think about it is like this. Let's say somebody feels like they were wronged and they feel like they deserve or they have a right to be mad about it.

Okay. That's the energy that I'm talking about deserving. And so if we feel like, Oh, well, I deserve to be able to say no because I'm sick, or I deserve to be able to receive because I'm sick. It's that feeling of deserving. So it's not a worthy feeling. And, and of course, if somebody feels worthy. They could feel deserving.

That could happen where a person feels like, Hey, I'm worthy. And they feel like, Oh, I can deserve. So it falls, it, it falls into a small part of it, but it's not really the deserving feeling in general. And a simple way to think about it is like, this is the analogy you hear me use all the time is this, is we can look at it and we can see that all dogs are animals.

So we know that all dogs are classified as animals. But we wouldn't say all All animals are dogs. Oh, there's a lot of different types of animals. There are cats, there are birds, there are all different types of animals. So all animals are not birds. And so the same is true with deserving and worthy is that if you feel worthy, you may then feel deserving, but.

Deserving is such a much bigger animal, if you will. Like, somebody can feel like they have a right or deserve to say no because they're ill. Or somebody can feel like they have a right to be mad. It's not, they're worthy of being mad. Um, it's that they have a right. And so, notice for a moment, she feels like she has a right to say no.

She deserves to be mad. To say no, if she has some type of illness or problem, it's like, it feels like it gives her a right to be able to say no. And so that's the key that I want to highlight just because I can tell you that there are certain areas in my work where people get very confused and this is one of them.

And so I even put it in my book for this reason was that some people think that deserving and worthy are the same, but they're very, very different. And another way to think about it is like. that one person may feel that they're not good enough in life, so they feel like they deserve, they feel like they deserve a handout.

Another person may feel like they're not good enough in life, so they feel like they don't deserve anything. So it's not about worthiness or good enough. It's really about what is attached to that. So we have to be more specific and understand what enables that feeling of deservingness. And so in this case, ultimately what she's needing to do is really feeling like she deserves to say no.

She's allowed to say no, she has permission to say no without having an injury or illness to do so. You know, in the last episode, she had this feeling of feeling like it was bad. She would be a bad sister. if she said no. And so just pivotal. And I know it may seem insignificant to some, but for healing, it's a pivotal distinction.

And so just wanting to highlight that shift for her. And notice, by the way, it's so pivotal that has started to come down, so that's key for her. And of course I mentioned she gets it all the way down. And something you'll also notice coming up and I want to point out is this, is that if you've been listening to past episodes, sometimes you'll notice that I absolutely push somebody and especially I'll push somebody.

If they're stuck in fear or they're paralyzed by fear and they're so stuck that they're in that place where they're stuck by fear or they're paralyzed and so they can't get out. Now, in her case, notice how good her self awareness is. She starts seeing it, but the other thing is, is I notice also with her, she's got this feeling of feeling like, you know, she can't say no.

So what comes up as I start to push her is that I don't, I basically tell her, I am not. going to push you. And you'll notice after that, she's like, well, wait a second, but how do I get my pain down more? And so it was perfect because in this case I didn't push. I told her I wasn't going to push. So then she asked and said, well, wait a second.

And you'll notice that coming up. It's, it's a fun shift of dynamic if you will, especially if you've been hearing me. Push people in the past because that's what they needed to then change. But in her case, she needed the opposite and to want to receive it. So it was really perfect. And you'll notice that unfold as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Cordelia.

Here we go.

Okay. So I want you to notice the feeling of feeling like, uh, always having to do everything for everybody and that there's no way out of it, right? Okay, so I want you to notice that feeling of feeling like you always have to do everything and there's no way out of it. Can you see that? Yes. Yes. Now, is that true?

That there's no way out? Or could you literally just say, Hey, I don't want to do these things. Could you just actually say no without feeling bad, without feeling guilty? That you can actually say no. I'm trying to tune into a scenario when I can just say no and don't feel bad But I'm not connecting with it.

I know it's possible Because I know people that do it. Uh huh, but at the time I can't imagine myself just saying no without an excuse Or reason. Bingo. Okay So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and And give me one second Um You know, this is what I honestly think is this, is that, um, I want to actually, uh, I would love to get your pain all the way down.

Like if I ask your body, if it feels safe to let go of this, it feels like, uh, it can't because everybody will ask you everything and it's going to be too much and overwhelming and you can't say no when you feel guilty. And like, it's all of these feelings that are all here. And I think that what is in your best, highest good is actually not the pain.

To push you anymore on this, but instead to let you take this information and integrate it into your life and see and see that it can work and feel safe that it can work because it just like you said, if you picture yourself going to the gym, your pain actually goes up and I don't want to push you into feeling better and then you feel better and then you say, Oh, but then I can't defend myself.

I can't say no. And then I, so I don't want to. So I think that the best thing to do for you right now is actually To leave it right here and to let you integrate this information and to see that you can say no and see that you can ask and have a reciprocity and become aware of all of this. Does that make sense to you, beautiful?

Yes, that makes sense. And how can these help me like with this, my, my pain, because I hadn't even thought that my pain. Um, what's connected to, to this of saying no. So how can I start, like, implementing to re, regain my life back, my, my previous life? Bingo. Uh, so what I would say is this, is if I ask you right now, how much you would say that you feel like you could say no, how much would you say that is?

No, very low. Very, it's a low number. I'd say about a two. About a two, right? And if I ask you how much you feel like you could really ask somebody else to then do things, like your sister, to do something for you, if I ask you zero to ten, how much you feel like that's realistic, what would you say? I think it's, it's a low number, but I think because of her response that when I ask, it's not a good response from her.

Okay, but I would say also, simultaneously, you haven't felt good about deserving and receiving or people, quote unquote, wasting their time or resources on you. Yes, yes, that is very true. So what I would say is this, is I would say a lot of the things that I'm asking you to do and be that I feel like number one is I'd want you to feel like you're, you're willing to feel good about receiving.

That it's okay to receive, that you feel good about receiving. I would want you also to be able to notice what you can ask for. Just one note, how can I receive without thinking about the other person? Okay, so If you think about it for a moment, when was the last time you did something for your mom? For my mom?

Uh, I actually can't remember. Okay? Now, if I ask you, do you enjoy doing things for your mom? Yes. A lot. A lot. Right? Yes. So, and by the way, yeah, so the thing of it is, is kind of like this, if, with the boyfriend that you were seeing, did he say he enjoyed coming out and picking you up? No. He said he didn't enjoy it?

No, no, he didn't say anything. He just did it, but I assumed it was hard because sometimes he will ask if I could meet him somewhere, but if I wasn't able to, he would gladly come. He would what? Gladly come? You see where I'm going with this, right? Yes. Okay. So that's, yes, yes, yes, yes. So bingo. So what I would say is.

It's like, this is what I said, as I said, we get used to receiving and feeling good about it and being willing to, and you said, how can I do that without thinking about the other person? But when there's a beautiful reciprocity, you like doing things for others and others like doing things for you. It's just a beautiful thing.

Does that make sense? Yes. So, it's beautiful. So, so. You don't want to ask people to do things that doesn't feel good to them. You say, hey, could you do this? Like, it shouldn't be, um, it shouldn't be an over, don't over ask. Because if you over ask, it doesn't feel good to people. So you don't want to over ask.

Uh, but when you ask and you ask somebody for something, but also being willing to reciprocate and reciprocity should feel good. It feels like a flow, right? It's kind of like this. Imagine this world if everybody only did things for themselves. What would that look like? Terrible. Okay, now imagine a world if everybody only had to do things for others and couldn't receive.

What would that look like? Aw, also, also terrible. Imagine a world where everybody has a reciprocity and they can do things for others and enjoy it and feel good about it. Just like you mentioned, you could do things for your mom and enjoy it, right? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, that would be amazing. So that's the sweet spot.

When you create that in life, it's a sweet spot. Like you enjoy, it's kind of like this. Have you ever cooked anybody a meal before? Yes. And did you enjoy it? Yes, I love cooking for others. There you go! See, what happens is you figure out the things that you do like to do for others, and then there may be things you don't, and you say no to the things you don't, but you do the things that you love to do, and so you find that balance in life, and then it feels good.

Yeah. Does that make sense? So, and by the way, if there's something you don't enjoy doing, you feel like, you say, you know what, that's not really, that's not really my thing. Yes. Right? That's great. So, kind of like this, if somebody asked you to cook them a meal, you say, you know what, I'd love to do that. And maybe you would love to do that, but then maybe if somebody says, hey, can you go clean my room for me?

You're like, you know what, that's not really the thing that I enjoy doing the most, but I'm happy to cook or go do something else with you, but that's not really my, that's not really my most, something that I really love doing. Right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And so what I would say is this, is I would say number one, being willing to find that sweet spot and also being willing to receive.

And right now, it's kind of like this, is if I ask you how scary it feels to say no, how scary does it feel to say no, you can't do something right now? What would you say? Like a six. Like a six. And at the beginning of our call, how scary would it have felt for you to say no to somebody? No, like a 10. Like a 10.

Especially, yeah, especially if it was someone close to me. Exactly. So when you said, when I said I want to give you time to integrate this, it's for that very reason that I want to give you time to get used to this. So notice you went from a 10 to a level 6. Now what'll happen is this. So let's say maybe you use 10 You do say no and it's okay and you, you navigate through it.

And then another time, maybe you say, you know what, no, but, but I'm happy to cook you a meal, like that's what I can do, but the other thing isn't really my thing. Right. And so what happens is you get more used to being able to say no in a sweet way or in a wonderful way and realizing it's okay to do, uh, it's kind of like this, your very, very first day of school, the very first time you went to school.

Were you nervous about going to school? Yes. And then after a while of going to school, did you get nervous or excited to go to school? Excited, I guess. Yeah, not nervous anymore. So that's what I want you to do is I want you to integrate these things. And yes, at first it might be a little nervous, but then I want you to see that it's okay and that you can and that you don't need illness as an excuse or a reason that you could actually just say no.

needing to have a reason to say no, but you can find loving or fun ways or playful ways, or even saying, you know, I'll cook something, but you know, cleaning your house, that's not really my thing or whatever it is. Or maybe cleaning your house, their house is your thing, but maybe something else. So, but where you can find playful or fun or nice kind ways to ask, to receive and to say no also.

Does that make sense? Yes, it does. So, so, bingo. And, by the way, if I ask you to notice your pain right now, what's your level? It's a three now. It's a three now, right? Fantastic. Yes. Okay, fantastic. So, the thing of it is, is this is what I do know. Is I know that We could continue going and continue going, but what, what needs to happen is these needs to feel comfortable in your life.

And so just like going to kindergarten for the first time when you first go, it might feel a little nervous, but then as you practice it and you do it, then you feel more comfortable doing it. Does that make sense? Yes. Beautiful. Yes, I guess it's tuning in to how I feel when I cook for others and imagining that's how they feel when I ask for something or when they give me something.

Absolutely. And also, being able to say no. Not because of illness or an excuse, but even saying, you know what? That's not my thing. I love you, but that's just not my thing. I don't really don't love doing that, but I'll, I'll cook you a meal or I'll do this or I'll do that, but that's just not really my thing.

I just really don't like doing that and just communicate that. Yes. How does that sound? Yes, amazing. I do notice and I do accept that I have some communication problems, and that's like a funny thing between my sister and me, that she always says, like, you need to speak up, you need to say no, and you need to say what you need to say.

Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Wait a second. So your sister even says you need to speak up and say no? Yes. Oh. Huh. So how scary is it to say no then if she's even telling you you need to speak up and say no? Yes. What? Wait a second. It is a weird thing because I, that only happens to me. In a linear circle. All of this fear is now all BS.

It's all, you're not even allowed to have this fear anymore. It doesn't even make any sense. She's telling you to say no and to speak up, right? Yes. Great, great, great. So I'm giving you a gift. I know I'm pushing your emotions a bit and invalidating them a bit. It's a gift. It's a gift. So I'm going to say that again.

All of this fear, you're not even allowed to have it, it doesn't make any sense at all because she's literally telling you to say no and to speak up. So it wouldn't make any sense to have any of this silly fear, right? That is so true, yeah. I'm having even like her permission to say no. I know! Is that scary then?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why this is so scary to say no. Bingo. Notice your level of pain right now. What's your level of pain? 2. 5. Yeah. It's lighter Uh huh. Bingo. That's what I would say, even about a 2. 2. Beautiful. Beautiful. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and notice that you're safe to say no and that you can find fun ways and silly ways and playful ways and loving ways and kind ways to say no if it's not your thing.

and then do what you love doing and do that and I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. And notice, even she says, speak up a little bit. What do you want? Bubba, it's not so scary. Say no. Uh huh. Yes. You don't even get to have this fear. It doesn't even make any sense at all. Bingo.

Yes. True. True. Great. I'm going to ask you to breathe. Good. Good. Good. And I'm going to ask you to notice your level of pain. Zero to ten. What's your level? Yeah, it definitely will be loaded too. That's what I would say is about, I got about a 1. 6, about a 1. 6 right in there. Okay. So again, so notice it's going down.

And again, I want you to notice and this is kind of the thing that, that, that I want you to keep in mind is that, um, Integrating this and making it a norm is going to be key, so you can realize that of course you don't need to be fearful. Right? That doesn't even make any sense. Yes. Right? Yes. That doesn't even make any sense at all.

Right? True. Bingo. Like, she's literally telling you to speak up and to say no. I mean, could you imagine if somebody was telling me to say no? And then I was like, Oh, I'm so afraid to say no, but they're telling me to say no, but, and I need to speak up. And I'm like, but I'm so afraid, like, what, what does that make any sense?

No, it doesn't. It doesn't make sense. Uh, that, that rule should also apply to her, even though she referring to someone else, that rule will also apply to her. Uh huh. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. I know. And what if people were to waste their time money on you, you know? Well, they should. Are you worth it?

Yes. Yes, I am. I'm worth it. Every penny and any inconvenience that it means dating me, and any inconvenience that it means spending time with me, it's worth it. It's worth it. You're worth it. And you're worth it, and you have reciprocity, and you're worth it, and you're valuable, and you deserve it, and you don't need to have a health issue to be able to receive, right?

Yes. True. You're worth it. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Bingo. And notice your level of pain. Zero to ten. What's your level? Yeah, it's definitely very, very close to none. Bingo. Beautiful. And who's doing that? Me. You are. You are. You are. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. I'm gonna ask you to breathe.

And I'm gonna ask you to take in the feeling that it's safe to change. Of course it's safe to change, right? Yes. Yes, yes it is. Yes, safe to say no, safe to reciprocity, safe to receive, don't need any excuses. You've got this, and I want you to think about the woman that you become in life. I want you to picture for a moment, you're in your forties and you don't know how to say no, and you can't say no.

And you feel guilty about saying no. And you feel like you can never, ever, ever say no or ask for anything in your forties and your fifties and your sixties. Who do you become? And you feel like you're not good enough to receive. You don't want anybody to waste anything on you or waste their resources.

You can't say no. And, and you, you're, you're not good enough to receive. And, and you feel like you can't ask for anything compared to if you picture yourself free. 10, 20, 30, 40 years from now, you see yourself being able to receive and reciprocate and you love doing things for others and others love doing things for you and you can say no if something doesn't feel good.

You say no and you can receive and you can reciprocate and you can also do things and it just feels good. It feels loving and sweet and supportive and, and connection and community and, and reciprocity and sweetness. What does that look like? Yeah, amazing. Yes, I will love that. I want, I will have that. And by the way, there's a third picture.

Imagine if you can only say yes or no if you're sick. You say, oh, I can only say no if I'm sick. I can only receive if I'm sick. Who are you when you're 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years from now? What does your life look like? No, in a hospital. Yeah, not, not, not good. Not good. No. Kids, and, and a beautiful wife, like life, and husbands, just all of the things.

Just a beautiful life, and kids, and spouse, and, and having a wonderful relationship. Being happy and healthy, right? Yes. Beautiful. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, are you willing to have the courage to change and say this fear that she's even telling you say no and speak up. So what do you need the fear for?

I don't need it. So it's safe to be happy and healthy and feel good? It's safe to be happy and healthy and feel good? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. And safe to say no and safe to ask for things and reciprocity and all of that? It is and I will work on my confidence to believe it a hundred percent. I love, well said.

You're so brilliant. I love that and I will work on my confidence to be able to say that 100%. I like it and to feel safe in it. That's brilliant. You're beautiful. That is so good. Thank you. Absolutely. You are so, so beautiful. Fantastic job with your energy. It is just, it's been so wonderful working with you.

Beautiful. Thank you a lot. You don't know how much this has helped me to realize another, um, area that I haven't even thought of. It's not only about the physical or the mindfulness of meditating every day. It was. Honestly, an issue that I never thought I had. I thought I was on the other side. But I love your awareness.

I, you're just, you're so beautiful and brilliant. And, and I love your awareness and your self honesty and your, your ability to then see and open up to it. You're just, you're, you're just beautiful. Just brilliant. Just brilliant. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you. Thank you. And I'm a mirror of your good energy.

Thank you a lot. Thank you. Beautiful.

All right. So let's go ahead and bring everything together. And first and foremost, I just love her. She's just beautiful, great self awareness, fantastic job with her energy. Got her pain all the way to where she's like, I can't even really feel it. Um, and she did that. And so really. Really powerful. And by the way, afterwards, she messaged in and she said, I don't even know how or why this is even possible, but amazing.

I'm feeling incredible. Right? Now, on that note, I always emphasize that you must follow through. Now, I want to unpack this for a moment because all of the time, if you've been listening to past episodes or reading my work, you will hear me all of the time say that one of the key breakthroughs for me was my research on multiple personality disorder and really seeing all of the research that people with multiple personalities could have different illnesses in different personalities.

And so I kind of want to build on that example for a moment because there's depth to it if we stop and think about it. Meaning this, meaning that, you know, it's incredible that a person can get out of pain in minutes using their own mind. But if we think about somebody with multiple personality disorder, what they have is are multiple mindsets that are already established.

Meaning they can go from one personality and stay in that personality for a while, and then go to another personality and be in that personality for a while too. And, of course, Research has shown they can have different illnesses and different personalities. High blood pressure in one, or even, you know, you hear me talk about all the time, a woman who was blind in some personalities and not in others, or you know, high blood sugar, or seizures, or back pain, or asthma, in one personality, and another personality can be completely healthy, and another one can have completely different health issues.

Now, my point is, is this, is that in those scenarios, what a person has is they already have an established mindset with established neural pathways of a different way of thinking. Now, a simple way to kind of paint the picture of what I'm trying to say is this. Imagine a train that's going on one train track and you switch train tracks and it starts going in another direction.

On a completely different track. Okay. Now you've sent the train in a different direction. Right? And that's the analogy that I want to use for multiple personality disorder is imagine somebody having multiple train tracks, and that the train can take any of those tracks and go in any direction. Now, in contrast, when I'm working with somebody to shift their mindset into a new pain free mindset, I'm helping them to go in a different direction But there's not yet tracks there.

There's not yet established new ways of thinking and feeling. And what you remember from this episode is you'll remember her saying when she starts to think in a different way, she's like, well, I'm trying to think of it and I can kind of see that new way of thinking, but it's kind of hard for me to connect to, which I love her awareness.

It's and her honesty that seeing things in a new way was foreign to her. Which is so true. And so the reason that I always tell people that it is so crucial to follow through is because basically what happens is they need to then build the new train tracks, if you will, or the new way for the train to go so it can now consistently go on the new track.

And then of course, as it's consistently going on the new track, you'd want to delete the old track, the old train track that led to pain and illness and problems. And so that's the way that you'll want to think about it. Now my point in sharing this is because all the time you hear me say that when I work with people, I make it look very easy.

I talk to them and they release their pain and ta da, it looks really amazing. Especially if you think about it, she'd been meditating for a long time. and couldn't get her pain to go away. And so what did I do is I came in and shared with her the specific changes that she needed to make to start thinking and feeling and perceiving in a new way to create the change towards healing.

Now, the reason that she needs to follow through is because now it needs to be an established way of thinking and feeling and being and perceiving and, and stepping into that and building those new brain tracks, so to speak, so that her brain now automatically takes that direction. And so that's the insight that I really want to share with you is that when I say I make it look really easy and that it takes follow through, it does because now she needs to establish that new mindset and get it.

in consistently and make that change. And so that is a key distinction that I figured out because, you know, as you know, my story in my own life, I had been doing all of the things as well, you know, picturing myself healthy and healed and, and meditating and the positive thinking and all of the things.

And it wasn't working, but when I did it in this way, when I addressed the specific things, and then. Followed through to establish the new way of thinking and feeling and being and all of that, that's when the change occurred. So, just emphasizing that it is super important to follow through to really embrace that real change.

And that was a key distinction. in doing my work in a different way. And as you can see her pain that she had been suffering with for years now went away. And of course, again, emphasizing, she will need to really follow through. But even the emails that she's been sending are, are saying, you know, over and over, Oh my gosh, I can't believe this.

This is incredible. I'm feeling amazing. And so it's beautiful and she's doing it. So it's just really beautiful. Now, one other insight that I want to share is this is it's on the note, Reciprocity, and it's just this, it's that we shouldn't do it from a place of feeling obligation or forcing ourselves to do something, but instead if we do things with reciprocity from a place of love and generosity and kindness and also being willing to receive, it's powerful.

You know, so often I'll see people who want to give and give and give and give and give and they feel frustrated or hurt or upset, Because nobody's giving back, they're not receiving, there's no reciprocity. And yet inside they feel bad or awkward or guilty for receiving or like they shouldn't receive or don't deserve to receive.

And so that's the other key insight that I want to share with you today is exactly that, is that if you've been feeling that in your life, where you feel like you're always giving and you're not receiving, then I want to invite you to check your receiving energy and see. What that looks like, because remember, even our volunteer, beautiful, beautiful awareness where she said, well, I thought I was really good at receiving.

And then as she was unpacking it, you know, as we were unpacking that together, she started realizing, Oh, I feel bad about it. And she even almost said, well, they'll waste their time on me. And she did say, you know, wasting their gas on me. And she caught herself and that's what I love also is that as she was saying it, she caught herself and was even shifting in that moment.

So just great self awareness, great self honesty, just beautiful. And I want to ask you, of course, to please do subscribe. Take a moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know. Because the more that every single person is in this place of receiving and giving and love and a flow and harmony and healing and happiness and really filling themselves up.

And also joining the, the, the love fest, if you will, the give and receive, the flow of life, being happy and healthy. The more. It is great for every single person in our world. And so please do hit the share button and please do make a point to have the most wonderful, fantastic rest of your day.

for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope, or touched their heart, or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone. What we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life, if you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible, and I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore. com slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind. Thank you.

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Note: If you are hearing or sight impaired or have any other medical issues that would inhibit you from fully accessing the podcast, please reach out to our team at support@brandygillmore.com and we will be happy to assist you.  

Also, please remember that genuine change and follow through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor.

Instead, your goal with self-healing should be to continue to see your doctor as recommended and blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind and with the power of mind-body healing.  Please enjoy this self-healing podcast!

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