274: The Healing Power of Self-Love: How Releasing Emotional Pain Transforms Health and Relationships

In this heart-opening episode of Heal Yourself, Change Your Life, we continue the transformative journey with our beautiful volunteer, Senya. Her courage and vulnerability will touch your heart as she navigates deep emotional wounds, from past heartbreak to self-doubt, and years of stored pain.
You'll witness Senya's powerful breakthroughs—moments where tears of hurt turn into heartfelt laughter and hope. Her honesty in sharing her struggles with self-love and relationships is both inspiring and relatable. Through gentle guidance and loving support, you'll see how shifts in mindset and energy can truly change everything.
From this you can begin to see just how important self-love and healthy relationships are—not only for emotional well-being but for physical healing, too. When we shift how we feel about ourselves and how we connect with others, it can have a profound impact on our health and happiness. 

This episode isn't just about healing relationships and your health—it's also about learning to see the beauty within yourself. Senya's story reminds us that we all have the power to reprogram our minds to invite more love, joy, healing, and connection into our lives.

Listen now and feel the shift! 

Full Episode Transcript

Please note, this is an AI generated transcript of this episode…

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life! My name is Brandy Gilmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it has become my mission to share with others the same discoveries that transformed my health and my entire life.

Our minds are truly incredible—the placebo is proof of this. Each week, I take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. Then, I provide you with a powerful combination of practical and spiritual insights to help you master your mind, understand your emotions, and harness your energy. By doing this, you can heal your health, yourself, and your life. Let’s begin!

The Power of Self-Love and Relationships

Hello and welcome! It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, expanding your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love today’s episode. There are just so many powerful insights, especially when it comes to things like relationships and self-love, being kind to yourself, and really feeling good about yourself and how that can ultimately impact your relationships in so many ways.

But also, even separate from that, just manifesting relationships or feeling hurt. There’s just, again, so many pieces when it comes to relationships. And so I love that, and I love our beautiful volunteer. She’s just, she’s wonderful. She’s also very vulnerable and has had a lot of hurt that she’s just been storing up on the inside for so many years and trying to suppress instead of genuinely releasing it.

And as we step into working with her, a lot of times when she’s just trying to be authentically herself, she ends up in tears. And you’ll notice that as we step in, she goes from tears to laughing—and she has such a beautiful laugh—and in and out of tears. And there’s just a lot of hurt, and that’s where we’re going because it’s really insightful to watch her have her aha moments and her breakthroughs, and just the awareness is really powerful. And so that’s where we’re going.


Understanding Senya’s Story

Now, I mentioned that we’re working with Senya, and this is actually part two of her session, meaning this: I had one session with her that was a little bit over an hour. So it was pretty long. And of course, by the time I put in insights and whatnot, that would make a two or three-hour podcast episode. And so instead of doing that, I just took this one session, this one-hour session, and broke it up into pieces.

o, on last week’s episode, Episode 273, I started working with her. And if you listen to that episode, you’ll recall she’s experiencing some physical pain. She’s had thyroid issues, she’s had issues going on with her health, just her stomach. And ultimately, she started having these issues after she had a breakup. And there was a lot of hurt connected to that.

And if you recall from that episode, just a quick refresher, we had started talking about a COVID relationship—a relationship that developed during COVID, where they spent a lot of time together and then felt disconnected. And we started talking about moving things forward because there was a part of her who felt like, What if she couldn’t actually ever have a relationship?

And so if you missed that episode, I strongly recommend starting there to really get the foundation. But as we dive in today, that’s where we’re going. I wanted to build on that because I had asked her, What if you knew that you could have the relationship? What would that look like? Because so often we can feel stuck in life. We can feel like there’s no way to get out of it. You know, and I remember going through my own injury, feeling that same way—just feeling stuck and trying everything.


Breaking Free from Emotional Pain

And so, of course, when it comes to relationships and wounding, it can feel really painful. On that note as well, going through one rejection after another, or one hurt after another, feeling unloved, feeling disconnected.

And the great thing about this episode is that you’ll start to see the patterns that can be buried in the subconscious mind, that are manifesting these circumstances and situations that can keep people stuck for years. And so, the great thing is that as we become more and more aware of what’s really going on at a deeper level, we really can change our health, our happiness, our life, our love—just everything. Our relationships and life can just get more and more beautiful.

And so that’s what’s exciting, and that’s what I really love about today’s episode—just the insight, her heart—just a beautiful, beautiful being. And so on that note, let’s go ahead and step in with our beautiful volunteer, Senya. Here we go.


Let’s begin!


The Power of Self-Love and Relationships

Hello and welcome! It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, expanding your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love today’s episode. There are just so many powerful insights, especially when it comes to things like relationships and self-love, being kind to yourself, and really feeling good about yourself and how that can ultimately impact your relationships in so many ways.

But also, even separate from that, just manifesting relationships or feeling hurt. There’s just, again, so many pieces when it comes to relationships. And so I love that, and I love our beautiful volunteer. She’s just, she’s wonderful. She’s also very vulnerable and has had a lot of hurt that she’s just been storing up on the inside for so many years and trying to suppress instead of genuinely releasing it.

And as she mentions, as we step into working with her, as she mentions, a lot of times when she’s just trying to be authentically herself, she ends up in tears. And you’ll notice that as we step in, she goes from tears to laughing—and she has such a beautiful laugh—and in and out of tears. And there’s just a lot of hurt, and that’s where we’re going because it’s really insightful to watch her have her aha moments and her breakthroughs, and just the awareness is really powerful. And so that’s where we’re going.


Understanding Senya’s Story

Now, I mentioned that we’re working with Senya, and this is actually part two of her session, meaning this: I had one session with her that was a little bit over an hour. So it was pretty long. And of course, by the time I put in insights and whatnot, that would make a two or three-hour podcast episode. And so instead of doing that, I just took this one session, this one-hour session, and broke it up into pieces.

So, on last week’s episode, Episode 273, I started working with her. And if you listen to that episode, you’ll recall she’s experiencing some physical pain. She’s had thyroid issues, she’s had issues going on with her health, just her stomach. And ultimately, she started having these issues after she had a breakup. And there was a lot of hurt connected to that.

And if you recall from that episode, just a quick refresher, we had started talking about a COVID relationship—a relationship that developed during COVID, where they spent a lot of time together and then felt disconnected. And we started talking about moving things forward because there was a part of her who felt like, What if she couldn’t actually ever have a relationship?

And so if you missed that episode, I strongly recommend starting there to really get the foundation. But as we dive in today, that’s where we’re going. I wanted to build on that because I had asked her, What if you knew that you could have the relationship? What would that look like? Because so often we can feel stuck in life. We can feel like there’s no way to get out of it. You know, and I remember going through my own injury, feeling that same way—just feeling stuck and trying everything.


Breaking Free from Emotional Pain

And so, of course, when it comes to relationships and wounding, it can feel really painful. On that note as well, going through one rejection after another, or one hurt after another, feeling unloved, feeling disconnected.

And the great thing about this episode is that you’ll start to see the patterns that can be buried in the subconscious mind, that are manifesting these circumstances and situations that can keep people stuck for years. And so, the great thing is that as we become more and more aware of what’s really going on at a deeper level, we really can change our health, our happiness, our life, our love—just everything. Our relationships and life can just get more and more beautiful.

And so that’s what’s exciting, and that’s what I really love about today’s episode—just the insight, her heart—just a beautiful, beautiful being. And so on that note, let’s go ahead and step in with our beautiful volunteer, Senya. Here we go.


Session with Senya Continues

Brandy: Now, if you knew you were just going to find an amazing relationship, if you were 100% certain that you knew, knew, knew that you were going to find an amazing relationship, how much could you let go of the old one?

Senya: Completely. Completely. Completely.

Brandy: Right? But I want you to notice the part of you that has been telling yourself you don’t know if you’re going to have another one or not, or if it’s going to work out, or if he’s going to leave too, etc., etc. Can you see that? Bingo.

Brandy: Let me put it in another wording. If I ask you how many times you have felt like you were used in a relationship, how many times have you felt that way?

Senya: I haven’t felt like it has ever been genuine. Maybe the two big relationships that I had…

Brandy: Okay. And so I’m going to ask you to breathe, and give me one second. If I ask you, if you felt like you could just be loved for you, you could be loved for you—well, now you’re crying again.

Senya: Yeah…

Brandy: Because I feel like I have to, like, always somehow be someone else or, like, not be myself completely.

Brandy: Oh, so what if you knew that the magic trick to being loved was actually being yourself completely?

Senya: I feel like when I’m trying to be myself with people that I just start crying…

Brandy: Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Notice how much you’re trying so hard to suppress these tears. Okay? You don’t have to suppress them. You don’t have to suppress them. Okay? So I’m going to ask you to breathe…

Brandy: If I ask you how much you have felt a feeling of really strong rejection in life, what would you say?

Senya: Yeah…

Brandy: Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Now what if you didn’t have to feel that anymore?

Senya: I just… yeah, I don’t know.

Brandy: What? How? I don’t know how.

Brandy: Okay. Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. I want you to notice the part of you that said that you’ve been waiting for divine timing, right?

Senya: Mmmhmm.

Brandy: And if I ask you how long you’ve been on this spiritual journey, how long would you say that is?

Senya: About five years, six years.

Brandy: So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe and I want you to think about what it would look like if you changed. Like, let’s say you went from feeling rejection and hurt and unloved and used, and not feeling good about self, to instead feeling really confident in self. Confident in self, good about self, good at connecting with people, and good at feeling just being loved for you. And that’s just who you are. That’s just who you are. How much of a transformation would that be?

Senya: That was huge. It would be. That would be a real transformation, right?

Brandy: Okay. Now, have you ever heard me say before that I am a different person than when I was injured?

Senya: Yeah.

Brandy: Right? If you’ve listened to past episodes, I would tell you. It changed my life. I am different now than I was then.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe and I want you to take in the feeling that you’re willing to change. Not that you’re not good enough, but you’re really willing to change the way you feel, the way you show up, the way you feel, how you are, that you’re really willing to embrace that transformation. So you feel great about you. So you don’t have any rejection pattern. You don’t even have that at all. You don’t feel it. It’s not who you are. It’s not how you feel at all. So I’m going to ask you to breathe.

Brandy: Now, notice how that’s like an assertive feeling of transformation, if you will, where it says, I must change. Do you see that difference?

Brandy: Let me say it in another way. I want you to think about the feeling of suppressing your emotions.

Senya: It just feels so normal.

Brandy: Uh-huh. It feels normal. Right?

Brandy: And by the way, if I ask you, bingo, how long have you been meditating for?

Senya: On and off, like since 2019, but then I stopped because I didn’t want to, yeah, overdo it somehow.

Brandy: Okay. Because I was focusing too much on personal development.

Brandy: Okay. So, bingo. So, I’m going to ask you to breathe. And I want you to think about instead of suppressing everything, because that’s what it feels like your mind is doing. It feels like it’s suppressing things and running from them and getting, trying to get better at suppressing them. Does that make sense?

Senya: Mmm.

Brandy: So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And this is the thing. So this is what I want to reflect to you because your body’s trying to give you a message to change. Now watch this. So I’m going to reflect this to you. If I said I’m holding onto a lot of hurt and I’m holding onto painful patterns and I’m suppressing them and I’m waiting for divine timing for the relationship to come. Notice that I haven’t shifted the patterns out to then manifest something different. Does that make sense?

Senya: Yes.

Brandy: Now what I want you to think about for a moment is when you think about this, I want you to get excited. And this is why. If you’ve already been doing everything that’s perfect and the relationship isn’t coming, then you feel like, but I’m doing everything and it’s not working. But then instead, if you think, oh wait, there’s something more that I could do to help manifest the relationship that I’m wanting, and you can see it and you can do it and you can really change. Then you can do it. There’s a way to do it. Like, in other words, if I said I tried everything and nothing is working, how much hope do I have?

Senya: None.

Brandy: Now, if I said I’ve tried everything but one specific thing that could actually work, how much hope could I have?

Senya: A lot.

Brandy: A lot, right? A lot. So, notice where you feel like you’ve tried everything.


Overcoming the Feeling of Trying Everything

Brandy: If I ask you zero to ten how much you have felt like you have tried everything?

Senya: Yeah, pretty much ten maybe.

Brandy: So if I told you I feel like I’ve tried everything to have a relationship, I’ve tried everything, I’ve tried everything, I’ve tried everything, right? But by the way, I’m holding onto a pattern of rejection. Do you think that pattern of rejection could mess up my energy?

Senya: Yeah. Yeah, it could.

Brandy: So what’s exciting is, if—okay, so if I ask you, if I’m trying for a relationship and I have a pattern of rejection, how much is that pattern of rejection you think going to mess up my attracting a relationship?

Senya: Yeah, it’s going to mess up everything a lot.

Brandy: So this is what I want you to see, you ready? So it would mess everything up a lot if I’m holding onto this pattern of rejection, right? Now if I have a pattern of rejection, does it mean that there’s something wrong with me? Or does it mean I have to get rid of the pattern?

Senya: The pattern.

Brandy: The what?

Senya: The pattern.

Brandy: So what you’re saying is there’s nothing wrong with you?

Senya: No.

Brandy: How does that feel?

Senya: I don’t know why it almost feels… I don’t know. I don’t know why it feels like there is.

Brandy: You’ve been telling yourself that there’s something wrong with you. What if you’re completely wrong?

Senya: It just feels like I do things wrong.

Brandy: Yes, but who’s been telling you that?

Senya: Me, I guess.

Brandy: Well, maybe you should stop telling yourself that!


Shifting the Mindset on Self-Worth

Brandy: So that’s exactly where I’m going. You have told yourself you have to be somebody else to be in a relationship. You’ve told yourself if you’re you, that people won’t like you. Can you see that?

Senya: Mmm. Yeah.

Brandy: Well, that’s not very nice to you. Especially because the way to really connect with the relationship that you want is to be authentically you. Because then you let somebody in.

Brandy: It’s kind of like this. Let’s say I’m being fake. How easy is it to connect with me at a deep level?

Senya: Not easy.

Brandy: Not easy. But if I’m just being real and authentic, how much easier is it just to connect?

Senya: It’s a lot easier.

Brandy: It’s a lot easier, right? If you’re just real. Does that make sense?

Senya: Yeah.

Brandy: Now I want you to notice, if you look around the world, the only people who are in relationships are people who are perfect. Right?

Senya: No.

Brandy: What?

Senya: No, they’re not perfect. None of them.

Brandy: You mean people don’t have to be perfect to be in a relationship?

Senya: No.

Brandy: So you mean you don’t have to keep trying so hard to just be perfect to be able to be loved?

Senya: I guess not.

Brandy: So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, by the way, if I ask you how much you would say that part of your relationships have been based on physical intimacy, what would you say?

Senya: A big part of it.

Brandy: A big part of it. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you how much there’s a part of you who wants to win the relationship over and win the relationship over based on physical intimacy, what would you say?

Senya: Right. Yeah.

Brandy: Yeah. I love your awareness. I love your awareness.


Reprogramming Relationship Patterns

Brandy: Now, if you have a relationship that’s based only on physical intimacy, can you see it doesn’t create enough, it doesn’t attract the right person who’s really looking for the bond and the love and the connection and the sweetness and to connect in other ways that you’re really looking for for that lasting relationship. Does that make sense?

Senya: I have a hard time understanding that. I think I’m very new to like, understanding what connection really is.

Brandy: I love your awareness. I love your awareness. Now I have a question. If you knew that you could get good at peopling, if you knew that you could get good at relationshipping, of saying, “Hey, let’s take a walk on the beach,” or “Hey, let’s go see a movie,” or “Let’s laugh together,” or “Let’s connect.” And so you got really, really, really good at connecting, what would that look like?

Senya: I’m not sure. I have often this feeling that I want to be somewhere else when I’m with someone.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. So, what, are you hinting that you’d rather be somewhere else right now than talking to me? (Laughs)

Brandy: I’m just joking. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. We laugh and be ridiculous and playful and all of that. So I’m going to ask you to breathe.

Brandy: And notice for a moment, if you felt like you could just be you. If you felt like you could really, really, really just be you, how much do you think you’d want to be in a different place?

Senya: I wouldn’t want to be in a different place.

Brandy: So notice for a moment, it would feel better being with that person. Does that make sense?

Senya: Yeah.

Brandy: Yeah. So what I would say is part of the solution is being radically you. Does that make sense? Being radically beautifully you, and showing up, and getting good at peopling, getting good in just connecting, and asking questions, and being interested in somebody, because this is the thing. Watch this. Let’s say somebody goes to connect with others, and they’re feeling extremely insecure. How easy is it to be present?

Senya: Not easy.

Brandy: Not easy. So imagine for a moment, somebody goes to connect with others, and they’re feeling all these emotions, how easy is it to be present and connect with somebody?

Senya: I’m having a really hard time being present.

Brandy: Okay, the great thing is you’re not broken. You’re not broken and there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just like, okay, you’ve got to get rid of some of these old patterns. Then you can be more present and it’s easier, right?


Breaking Old Patterns and Embracing Change

Brandy: Okay, the great thing is you’re not broken. You’re not broken and there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just like, okay, you’ve got to get rid of some of these old patterns. Then you can be more present and it’s easier, right?

Senya: Yeah.

Brandy: Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Now, by the way, have you ever learned a new skill before in life?

Senya: Um, it’s really hard for me to learn things.

Brandy: Okay. Bingo. So here we go. So you don’t know how to drive?

Senya: No. I’m very scared of driving.

Brandy: Okay. My memory is really not good.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. You don’t know how to speak English?

Senya: I do.

Brandy: Okay. And how many languages do you speak?

Senya: Uh, almost five.

Brandy: Oh, you don’t know how to— that’s easy. Most people speak ten. (laughs)


Reframing Self-Perception

Brandy: Alright, so let’s go ahead and actually pause the session right here. You know, there are so many powerful insights, but first and foremost, just in case you are not clear—please know that I’m being sarcastic. I’m being playful with her. When I said, “Oh my gosh, most people know more than that,” obviously that’s not true. Knowing almost five languages is incredibly impressive.

Brandy: Now, it’s not just playing with her or being sarcastic or bantering—there’s a reason that I did that. The reason is that I didn’t want to reinforce her pattern. And what I mean by that is, we see all the time where people may have a pattern where they link up criticism to a compliment. Meaning that, if somebody says, “Oh, I look horrible in this dress,” and another person says, “What? No, you don’t. You look great,” what gets linked up? It gets linked up in the mind that, “Oh, if I criticize myself, then I will get acknowledgment.”

Brandy: So somebody might say, “Oh, I look horrible” or “Oh, I’m not very good at this,” and then someone else says, “Yes, you are! You did a great job.” And again, what happens is the mind becomes incentivized to attack the self, to be self-critical, because the more it criticizes self, the more compliments it gets, right? And so that gets linked up. The mind is very counterintuitive.

Brandy: So my point is, just as she’s saying that she’s not good at everything, instead of saying, “Oh no, you’re great, you know all these languages,” instead, I’m careful not to reinforce her pattern. Because if I just reinforced that, I’d be doing her a disservice—I wouldn’t be helping her, I’d be reinforcing the problem. And what you’ll notice coming up in the session is that she’s very, very self-deprecating. And of course, there are multiple reasons for that, but one is that reassurance that gets linked up in her mind. And so I’m just very careful to say that.

Brandy: So my point being, when I say, “Most people know more than that,” obviously, that’s not the case. Knowing almost five languages is very impressive. But the reason I said it in that way was to interrupt the pattern. I need her mind to start working in the other way—to start wanting to see the good in herself.


Challenging Negative Beliefs

Brandy: So that’s the reason I’m going to actually pause this session right here—because as you can see, her mind needs to see the good in her to really start creating the relationship she wants. So when you think about it for a moment, her mind isn’t seeing the good in her, and instead, it’s been incentivized to not see the good in her. So she doesn’t see the good in herself, and then she goes into relationships or around people, and then she doesn’t want to be there. She feels insecure. She feels like she has to be somebody else. So it’s all of these different emotions that are coming up, keeping her stuck.

Brandy: And so for that reason, I wanted to pause the session here to give you, the listener, a minute to really think about the things that you love about yourself and start bringing those in. Because the better you feel about yourself, the better it is for your relationships, your love, your connections, your life, your healing—all of those things.

Brandy: Now, by the way, what we can also see is that the more she has felt less about herself, not good enough, and been in this spiral, the more it has created hurt and not-good-enough feelings. And what happens is, of course, then the more emotions a person has and the more hurt and wounding, the harder it is to learn. As she mentioned, she even tried to drive but felt fearful of that, or being around people—it’s just all of these emotions coming up.

Brandy: But the more you get stuck in these emotions, the more it keeps you from really moving forward and making a change. That insecurity, that loop—it just keeps going. And that’s why I want to invite you, right now, to start reflecting on the things you truly love about yourself. Write them down. Bring them into your awareness. Because valuing yourself is the key to unlocking new possibilities in love, in life, and in everything you do.


Final Thoughts

Brandy: So those are the insights from today. And I want to ask you to please take a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know. Because the more that every single person in our world is happy and healthy and loved and loving, the better this world is for all of us.

Brandy: So please do take a moment to hit the share button, and please do have a most wonderful, incredible, loving rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We’ll see you there!

About Brandy Gillmore

Meet Brandy Gillmore – World-Renowned Mind-Body Healing Expert

Brandy Gillmore is a best-selling author, award-winning podcast host, and globally recognized expert in mindset and mind-body healing. Celebrated for her groundbreaking approach to healing and life transformation, Brandy’s inspiring journey began with healing herself from disability, freeing herself from reliance on a wheelchair, walker, and cane. 

She then achieved the unprecedented: demonstrating the healing power of the mind in mere minutes, with results verified by thermal medical equipment.

Her pioneering work has been published in the Health Medical Journal and featured in award-winning documentaries, numerous docuseries, and TEDx talks

Today, Brandy inspires audiences across the globe, sharing her breakthrough discoveries with people from all walks of life—including top celebrities, professional athletes, devoted parents, and individuals passionate about personal growth—empowering them to unlock their potential, heal themselves, and transform their lives.

Discover the transformative power of mind-body healing by watching Brandy’s free self-healing online course here —your first step toward unlocking your innate ability to heal and thrive!

Ready to learn how to heal yourself?

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In this self healing course, Brandy shares the exact things she did to heal (even when doctors told her there was nothing more she could do) so you too can be empowered with tools and techniques to heal yourself and change your life. Click here to learn more…

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Instead, your goal with self-healing should be to continue to see your doctor as recommended and blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind and with the power of mind-body healing.  Please enjoy this self-healing podcast!

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