This is 4min read.
When you stop and think about it for a moment the way that we – as a culture – approach the mind and even happiness is quite backwards.
And we can see proof of this in several ways.
Very simply, when we look around the majority of people, even if they put a smile on their face, aren’t really genuinely happy inside. The surprising and unfortunate thing is that some people don’t even know what genuine happiness feels like. They think if they have “moments” of happiness in their days, they can laugh with friends, and they are not an extremely negative person, then they are “happy.” But true happiness glows from the inside. You FEEL whether you are laughing with friends, or simply walking through your house. It is not a moment, but a feeling. It’s part of you.
Or, if we look at an extreme example, we can also see that, of course, there are hundreds of millions of people who suffer from depression and suicide is a leading cause of death despite a BILLION dollar industry of antidepressants.
Even people like Robin Williams or Anthony Bourdain, who had an endless amount of financial resources could not get the help they need.
All of this points to one thing very clearly, we are doing something wrong. And we suck (that’s a technical term) when it comes to the mind and happiness. And it’s not just adults, suicide is the second leading cause of death among children ages 10 and up and we see things like school shootings. This is all shocking and something that I never thought I would see during my lifetime. All of this to say, we are doing things wrong and we need to make a radical shift.
If you have been listening to my podcast, Heal Yourself Change Your Life episodes, you can see that there is a thing or two that I have been able to figure out a thing or two about the mind – that is quite advanced. And I have to say that I never thought that I would be someone who would be working with the mind. That is until I found myself in a place that I never thought that I would be and desperate for change. I won’t go into my story now, but if you want the long and short of it, you watch see my TEDx talk. But, in short, it’s truly incredible what we are capable with the mind.
If you have not yet listened to an episode you may want to check it out. Simply by showing people how to make changes to their minds and emotions, I show them how to release chronic pain – that has been plaguing them for 10 or 20 years or more! Just by using their minds. And by the way, not only is depression a growing problem but so too is chronic pain which affects more than 1.5 billion people worldwide and is only getting worse – as we have seen with the opioid epidemic.
The reason I have been able to show people to do this isn’t just because I am incredible (yes that’s true ☺-ha), but because we are ALL incredible beings and our minds are powerful if we would just start using them in a different way! The right way! Our minds are more amazing than we realize.
That said, if I just start with the 1 very simple basic thing we are doing wrong with our minds it is that we are not programming in happiness.
You may wonder what I mean by this.
In short, we expect things -like happiness- to just BE programmed in our brains.
I mean, if you think about this simple scenario– let’s say there is a woman named Jane. She is unhappy so she starts going to therapy. Or maybe instead she talks to her friends or loved ones about her problems. Pretty common right? Or she might just bury her feelings and not talk about them. But, either way, when does she put in the happy?
It’s like we live with the delusion that if we get rid of the negative that the positive is somehow going to show up!
The easiest way to illustrate it would be to say that if we stop speaking English, then we will suddenly know how to speak Spanish. That is illogical.
Or if you get rid of your old couch that a new amazing couch is suddenly going to jump into its place.
This makes no sense.
And by the way, if you are someone who is going through a hard time – I have total compassion. If you have seen my story – I’ve been there, done that. So, I am not minimizing it, rather quite the opposite. It’s rough. And we don’t have effective ways for getting OUT of it!
We as a culture are so focused on getting rid of the negative, that we never even THINK to program in the positive. Umm… If we don’t put it in our brain, how is it going to get there?
We need to operate from the simple awareness that everything that is in our brain is there for a reason and it is because we put it there (intentionally or unintentionally). And usually with emotions it is unintentionally.
One very simple and FUN way I have people start putting in the positive is to use “happy” music and then I ask them not to just LISTEN to the music, but purposely INDULGE in the feelings. When we feel a particular emotion over and over and over, it gets programmed into our nervous system – much like learning the alphabet as a kid. And lets be honest, the ABC “song” made it a lot easier to get the information in.
In my group courses, I always have people ask me for song ideas to help them lift themselves and there are so many!! 1 simple and fun way is to use music!
So what I am going to do is start sharing a song with you each week, that we used at some point… either for myself or in working with people.
THEN, I will share with you how I used it. Meaning the thought an emotional pattern that I used to help bring in the emotion. AND, just to let you know – when I use songs for programming – I don’t pay attention to the genre – its more about the feeling and the words for programming. I mean if you think about it, the ABC song was not the “coolest” genre ever, but it worked! So, that’s the mindset you will want.
Since it’s Thanksgiving and all, I figure that keeping with the “gratitude” theme would be great also. (Of course, we are going to branch out from here)
But that said, the first song is: “Kind And Generous” by Natalie Merchant.
When I was going through my injury, I was so mad at life. I was in a ton of pain each day and it felt like my entire life had suddenly been ripped away from me. Sure I could have continued to feel sorry for myself, but we all know that would have gotten me nowhere. So, this is one of the songs I used.
I picked this song because I knew that if I was really going to make a change, I had to start shifting my mind to the things that I did like about life so I would play this song over and over and just think of every little thing I could to feel grateful for, the big and little things people did for me, and really bring in the FEELING as much as I could.
To this day this song brings happy tears to my eyes. When I listen to it now, I think of everyone I am grateful for and that I have so much gratitude to the Universe/God, for all of the guidance I continue to receive and for continuing to support my life in the most beautiful ways. I also am lucky to connect with the most wonderful people who are always so sweet and I am grateful to them. I no longer need this song to get to a place of gratitude, but I still love when I do hear it!
Click here to listen to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAwyIad93-c
With love, hugs and happiness!
PS. If you ever need assistance, you can reach me and my team at [email protected].
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