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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take you This simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy.

to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life. Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it and I just love today's episode. There are so many powerful insights when it comes to healing and relationships and love and connection and just patterns and how our minds work.

And so I just love our episode and I love our volunteer, Janine. She is just beautiful inside and out. And I want to talk about a few of the insights ahead of time just because they're so common to me. And you'll have even more clarity as we go through this episode. And so a few things you'll want to note is first and foremost, that perspective holds an emotion to it.

And I know we've talked about this on past episodes. If we think about it for a moment, let's say that somebody holds the perspective that people are all mean. Well, that creates a certain feeling in life. Or if somebody holds the perspective that people are really nice and loving, that creates an entirely different feeling.

And so, if we have a perspective on a relationship where we say, Oh, well, this relationship is abusive. It can create strong emotions in our nervous system that can affect our health, our lives, our relationships. And so that is one thing you'll want to keep in mind as we go through this episode is just perspective and noticing that Now, another powerful insight is this, is that our volunteer has had a pattern of painful relationships that started with her father.

And what happens is a lot of times, once a pattern repeats and a pattern repeats and repeats in our lives, what can happen is we can get upset at the next relationship and the next one and the next one. And instead of Resolving the problem, it adds more fuel to the fire. It just makes the pattern worse and more painful, or it affects our health.

And that's what's happening with our beautiful volunteer, is that the pattern that she's been stuck in, in the hurt, originally started with her father. And so, you'll notice as we go through the episode that Instead of being more upset with the relationship and more upset with the relationship in that pattern, of course the goal is to diffuse and let go of the hurt and the upset to then create a real transformation.

And so you'll notice that as we go through the episode. Now, a third really important insight is this, is that all of the time people will think that forgiveness is is enough to create healing or transformation, and it's not enough. And you'll hear me, by the way, use a silly analogy all of the time, and it's this, is I'll say, imagine for a moment, if somebody went to the refrigerator, they opened it up, they looked inside, they saw some old food sitting in the refrigerator, and then they said, I forgive you, and then close the refrigerator door.

That doesn't get rid of that old food. To actually get rid of the old food, you have to discard it. You have to remove it. The same is true with our mind and our emotions. You know, a lot of times people want to look and open the door to the subconscious mind, so to speak. You know, open the door to past memories and look at it and say, well, I forgive you towards something in the past, and then they think it's gone.

But it's not gone, it's still there. It needs to be fully eradicated to be able to create a real transformation in your health and in your life. And I just want to emphasize that to create real healing results, it takes a much, much, much deeper transformation than most people realize. And you really do need to eradicate those deeper emotions so they're not even there anymore.

So that is key. Now, the reason that I bring that up is because our volunteer has mentioned that she's, you know, worked on forgiveness and yet you'll notice she also has brought in more feelings of abuse towards the relationship, etc, etc. So we'll, we'll dive into all of that. But just wanting to note these ahead of time.

Now, Again, if we look at the bigger, bigger picture, basically in short, I had a session with Janine and it was about an hour long. And so instead of putting it on all one episode, because that would make it, you know, two hours by the time I add these insights, I split it in two parts. And so part one in working with Janine was was on episode 227.

And now today on 228, we're going to delve into the second part of the session. Now, as you recall, on the first part of the session, we had talked about a person in her past, that relationship, that painful relationship, and the guy's name started with an A. So we're, as you recall, as we dive in, we'll be talking about A.

And, and that was where the relationship started. wounding was. And you'll also recall from Janine, she's done a lot of work. You know, she's self aware. She's done a lot of work, and she's feeling happy and in love with so many other areas of her life, except for this past wounding that's affecting her. And of course, also her pattern with her father.

And so that's gonna be key for making that change. And, as you'll recall also from that episode, that her health issue is that she's having major menstrual cramps that she said feel like huge punishment, that they're just horrific. And so that is where we're going as we step into part two of the session with Janine.

Here we go.

You'll want to dissolve it completely, and this is why. Okay, so number one, can you see how you're, you're seeing him as being the problem and, There's kind of a feeling of blame towards him. Can you see that? Yes, definitely. Okay, great, great. Love your awareness. Now, this is the thing. So this is why this is very important.

So you always hear me say that what our bodies are telling us is the most important thing we need to know, right? Yeah. So I'm going to give you an example. Let's say, for example, I have a pattern of love and then a pattern of, Not good, right? So I have a good pattern and a bad relationship pattern simultaneously, right?

And that throughout life both of these Play out, right? Basically, you've had that pattern where you have the loving connection And then also the one that feels painful that you want to run from and that was your dad energy. Can you see that? Yes, so right now A is still holding that energy in your life.

Does that make sense? Okay, which has allowed your current partner to be harmonious Which means that, if you dissolve A without dissolving the pattern, then likely the pattern could then change to something else because patterns repeat themselves. Does that make sense? Yes. So, ultimately, it's not just about resolving things with A, you'd also want to dissolve the pattern in and of itself.

Okay. Okay, because you don't want the pattern to repeat anymore. So it's almost like by having A, and having that pattern, then in your energy, tied up into something else, it is, while it's been a problem, it's also simultaneously allowed you to have a blissful, wonderful relationship with your current self, because both, or your current relationship, because both patterns are still running simultaneously, and now the problem doesn't have to be in your relationship space.

Does that make sense? Okay.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment because I want to ground this information a bit more and unpack it a bit more. And a simple way to do that is to bring in the awareness that patterns breed more of the same. And we can look at this in psychology. So if we think about, you know, tech, some technical terms we could use as we could look at repetition compulsion or reenactments or attachment theory, in which case we can see evidence.

That, you know, using the unfortunate example that a woman may have an abusive father and leave him and find the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, et cetera, you know, that pattern can continue in one way or another. And by the way, we could also look at it and call it law of attraction in metaphysics, or we could also look at it and in just statistics.

And we can even see statistically, re victimization, we can see that that is even in crime reports. And my point being is that no matter which way we look at it, we can see that patterns create our lives. And by the way, we can even look to a quote from the Bible. That says, do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

So we can literally see this information all around us. And so point being is what I was explaining to our volunteer is just that the pattern can continue and continue. And many times what can happen is if we don't resolve the pattern completely, but we feel like we took care of it in one situation, but the pattern is still there, then the pattern can move to something else.

And that's why sometimes people will think if it's not one thing, it's another. It's because there's an underlying pattern, and if one situation is cleared up, then it can go to another situation. Or, you know, using Janine's example is that, you know, the pattern started with her father and then went to her friends in her teenage years of then feeling hurt and wanting to run and then towards this guy, A, and then wanting to run.

And so that pattern has been there of that feeling of being upset and feeling hurt and wanting to run away. It's shown up a lot of different ways in her past. And so the point that I was wanting to emphasize is that. She has an amazing relationship right now. As you'll recall, she's very in love with her current partner and also there's this wounding on the side.

that is part of the very pattern. And so resolving that pattern itself will be key because when we don't resolve the pattern itself, it can just jump to another thing, you know, a friend, a sibling, a boss, another partner. I mean, whoever that is, in which case it can then continue to affect our health in the same way.

And so for that reason, it is crucial not only to change how we use words, the situation, but to genuinely change the pattern itself, that is key. All right. So, that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer. Ginny, here we go.

Uh, you lost me a little bit there, but Something interesting is that I mentioned really, um, uh, several years ago, I had a kind of spontaneous remission from my periods. I had perfect periods for five months and it was precisely because of an emotional step I took with A. Um, I was having worse periods than ever before.

I told him about it and this was the first time that I'd spoken to a man about such a thing and from one day to the next I was cured. But then when I got back home and things weren't going well with him, then they came back five months later. Bingo. Bingo. Love your awareness, okay, and ultimately, so if I look at this pattern in itself, I would say if we break it down energetically, 0 to 10, I would say, I would say about 40 percent of it is geared towards A.

I would say that, bingo, your energy towards your dad feels much better. Um, I would say that somebody, bingo, it feels about two years prior to A, uh, that there's also a person there. Do you know who that is? I don't think so. Give me one second. It feels like a female. Um,

bingo, 2015.

It, it might even be somebody, uh, it feels like somebody who is close, like maybe even a sibling.

Not that I can think of. Okay, so, um, it's almost like this feeling of feeling left out. Um, it's like April of 2015. So either way, um, point being you can see this feeling of hurt and then feeling reactive and then feeling like you want to run and you can, you can see the pattern, right? Okay. And the great thing is, is you can also see how, uh, there was a remission period with A.

So, so great. So ultimately what I'd recommend doing is this, is that I want you to notice the part of you who still feels that ongoing feeling of blame with A. Right? Okay. Now, if I ask you, A was an ex partner, is that correct? No, but a very very close friend way too close. It was a very toxic relationship.

Okay, so What's that now I would call it abusive

All right So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment because I want to share with you a very important insight When it comes to healing, all right, so notice for a moment She just mentioned that now she would refer to this relationship as abusive and, you know, he never hit her or anything like that.

And you'll hear coming up, you know, they, it was not a healthy relationship and they went back and forth and triggered each other and whatnot. But this is what you want to keep in mind. First and foremost, that Original pattern has started with her father, and you'll hear even more about that coming up.

So we'll talk about even releasing pain with her dad. In fact, that's exactly where we go. Kind of a little bit of a spoiler alert. At the end of it, that's exactly where we do go, is that she still has pain from her cramps. And in starting to shift even more of her emotions with her father, the pain goes away.

And so think about that for a moment, that this pattern is all connected to this pain that she has going on in her body. And so in this moment right now, I'm of course, starting to help her unravel All of this upset. Now what you'll want to keep in mind is notice for a moment is that as she just mentioned, she now refers to this relationship as being abusive.

So what has happened is she's actually increased the problem and given it a label and compounded it even more. Now, the reason I bring this up is not just because she's done this, it's because that is actually really common in our culture, and that's something that I'm seeing all of the time. Instead of healing the wounding, what they start doing is adding labels to it to then increase it and further ingrain it so they can't heal themselves.

You know, one thing you may have heard that's kind of become a buzzword, but it's actually is the narcissist. And what I've seen happen over and over again is people will have some type of wounding that started, that is affecting their health in one way or another. And then they start adding labels to it and saying, well, this relationship was abusive.

And this one was with a narcissist and this one was with blah, blah, blah. And basically what's happening is they're adding so many labels to it and further ingraining the information in their mind. It makes it harder to heal because to really start healing, they've got to unravel more and more and more things.

And that's exactly what I'm doing with her right now in this moment is I'm actually working on unraveling this situation so then we can get to the dad situation and genuinely start unraveling that, which is ultimately what releases her pain. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer.

Janine. Here we go.

And so, uh, yeah, so it feels very, very, very, very, very close. Mm hmm. Way too close. Okay. So, bingo. And, uh, if I ask you, if you're still blaming A five years from now, ten years from now, twenty years from now, how does that go? I can stop blaming him. I can find a way. Great, great, great. Um, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and if I ask you, do you feel like he was trying to be abusive?

Yes. And how was he trying to be abusive, would you say? He would make me cry and then laugh. Okay. And so He would openly say that sometimes he was trying to hurt me and he would, uh, he said once that he wanted to hit me, but, and I'm sure he would have eventually. Okay. So, if you think about it, have you ever wanted to hurt somebody back who hurt your feelings?

Yeah. Okay. So you're abusive then too, right? I finally, one of the things that helped me So, so, so wait a sec, so wait a sec, so I want you to work with your mind in a different way to get results, okay? Okay. So if you, bingo. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. If you go into story about everything, you won't get the results on where you want to go because it won't create the pivot that's needed.

Does that make sense? Okay. So, uh, bingo. So, So, just kind of staying with it for a moment. You've had somebody hurt your feelings and as a reaction you wanted to hurt somebody back, right? Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And obviously that is not optimal. Obviously that is not optimal, but also at the same time, if you think about it, he never hit you, right?

No. And so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I want you to notice that he had his own wounding and so he would get hurt and then want to hurt you back and vice versa, etc, etc. Can you see that you guys vary much? triggered each other. Can you see that? Oh yeah, definitely, definitely.

Definitely. And I definitely contributed, for sure. Okay, so I love that awareness. Okay, so you definitely contributed. So instead of blaming him or saying he's abusive, because he never hit you, and I see both of you guys very much triggering each other. Very, very much so. Definitely. I, I fully accept responsibility for that.

Um, one of the things that helped me was that, um, Originally, I blamed myself completely. Okay. And only by starting to blame him was I able to start saying, okay, there were things that even I didn't deserve that he did. I'm ready to change that now and stop blaming, blaming either one. Okay. Great, great, great.

So bingo, bingo. Okay. So I am going to tell you just so you know, though. Okay. So awesome. And to get results, you've definitely got to work with your mind in a different way than you're working with it. Okay? Just so you know. So when you notice I go to interrupt, there's always a reason for it. Okay? And so it's kind of like this.

Um, the best way to put it is like this. Are you familiar with Pavlov's dog? He rings the bell and then the dog salivates. Okay. So he rings the bell and then the dog salivates. He rings the bell, the dog salivates. It's linked up together, right? Uh huh. So when two things happen at the same time, those get linked, right?

Okay. And so while it always seems like I'm having a conversation, ultimately I'm wanting to link different things in your brain to help you get lasting results, right? Absolutely. But then what happens? So imagine if I ring the bell and Pavlov Dog says, let me tell you a story. Yes. Okay. How quickly does it get linked up?

Uh huh. Okay. So, so what I want to be able to do with your mind is I want to, I want it to work in a different way. I want it to work in a way where we say, um, bingo, where I say, um, something like where first and foremost, it's kind of like this. So really where I was going. Is that, a few things, okay? So what I, what I wanted to do was I wanted to, to ultimately clear the blame from him and from you.

So remember how we also said that part of what's linked up is a feeling of not trusting self, right? Okay, so that self blame is still there also, okay? Zero to ten, twelve. So I see it very much. So let me put it in a different way. I can definitely see the self blame. I hadn't thought of that, but yes, thank you.

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, great, great, great self awareness. And so this is what a lot of times happens. So a simple way to put it is like this, is let's say two kids, they get in trouble for, for arguing and, and, uh, and the one gets hurt and he goes, well, he hit me first. He did this. So I only did this because he hit me first or this, that, the other, right?

There's like that, that, and so what's happening and so bingo. So ultimately this is what I would do. I would decide how you want to feel moving forward, and I would move in that direction. So, in other words, let's say that you said, look it, and a simple way to put it is like this, is imagine if somebody, they have a relationship in their 20s, and you know, and I know this was not a romantic, but a very, very, very close relationship, but either way, let's say somebody has a relationship in their 20s.

And they break up and they say, nothing was my fault. It was all his fault or her's fault. I didn't do anything. Blah, blah, blah. Now I know that's not what you're saying. Okay. But imagine instead, if they say, look, you know what? The other person made their mistakes. I made my mistakes. They made their mistakes.

I can let it all go. We're not victim. We're just, you know what? We both triggered each other in different ways. I get it. It's just time to move forward and say, well, I'm glad I learned. I'm glad I grew from that and I can move on. Does that make sense? Yes. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

So instead of calling him abusive, And instead of picking out every little thing that, Oh, well, he hurt my feelings. And he says, so it sounds like, to be honest, it sounds like he's very honest. Sounds like he's saying, yeah, I wanted to hurt you back at times. And he's just being honest because all of the time I've seen people as a quote unquote defense mechanism that somebody hurts their feelings.

They want to say, well, I didn't care about you anyway. I mean, that's, that's normal, right? That's a normal, and it's not optimal, but I'm just saying it's not uncommon, right? So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I want you to notice, you know, if there's that relationship in the twenties and whatnot, and somebody's like, well, you know, I didn't do anything wrong.

And of course I know, I hear you. I love that you said, I see my part in it too, just brilliant and beautiful. And I, and I just honor that. And I respect that so much. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I also want you to notice the part of you who was blaming self and feeling bad and blah, blah, blah.

And that's really boring, too. And I'm going to ask you to breathe and taking that feeling in, that the blaming self and feeling bad and all of that, that you just look at it instead in a nutshell and say, you know what? I grew from it. I learned. I loved. I left it. Like, okay, great. As long as you grow from it.

And you can see, yes, he had his stuff, you had yours. You know, let's be honest. All day long, we could pick apart any past relationship and we could say, well, so and so did this, and then I did this, and then so and so did this, and we could literally pick apart every person's mistake because every single person in some relationship has made some type of mistake.

And so we could count it, and tally it, and compare, and all of these things. Or we can look at the big picture and see that where you are right now is so beautiful and a fairy tale and wonderful and magical that you could say, I'm willing to let all of that go. And, and part of it also, notice how in your mind you've been, uh, mentioning that you feel like A was abusive and it's like, notice how you said even that the further you got away from the relationship, the more.

That you see that it was abusive. Does that make, do you recall that? Yes, definitely. Okay, so, I love your awareness, now if I say that the further I got away from a relationship, the more I see that it was abusive, is my energy towards that relationship getting better or worse? Let's say worse. Okay. So, uh, so, and I would probably say, because you're very self aware also, I would probably say it's been worse, better, worse, the same, blaming him, blaming him, it's been a little bit all over the place.

Do you agree? Okay. Yeah. Great, great, great. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and where I'd love to go is this, is just breaking it down to simplicity. So I love your awareness. When you put two and two together, that you were like, oh my gosh, when, when you had that connection with A, and then suddenly everything went into remission, notice you can now see the, the connection between those, those events, right?

Mm hmm. So if I ask you how helpful that is, what would you say? How helpful to see the connection? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely know what's going on. Bingo. So if I ask you, making this change moving forward, if I ask you, could you start to really get a vision for how you want to feel moving forward and start getting that in?

And the reason is, is because this, is that All of the time, it's kind of like if I say, Oh well, it was his fault, it was my fault, it was his fault, but that happened, this happened, ultimately what I need for my brain to stop spinning between all of those things is to have some new thought that enters my brain that I can program in where I have a new way of thinking, feeling, and being.

Does that make sense? Yeah. And so that third option, that new option, that new programming is, is ultimately where we want to go. And so if I ask you, if you were going to decide for you how you would feel about A moving forward, how is that? I want to feel grateful. I need to learn to thank the path, because even if the path that brought me to where I am now was hard, it brought me to where I am now, and where I am now is beautiful.

Great, great, great. And so, if you think about it You've probably heard me say on past episodes with my injury, I would never want to go through it again. But I also wouldn't take it back if I could because of the way it changed my life. I see my part in it. I see my patterns in it. I'm not blaming my doctors.

I'm not blaming the accident. I'm not blaming anybody. I see How my patterns led me there and my mind programming and all of that and I wouldn't want to do it again and I get it and I'm not blaming anybody and thank God I'm through that and I love where I am now and yay, right? Great. So can you see how your patterns then also with your father that connect, you can see the, can you see the correlation between the connection?

And how that felt to you, uh, bingo. And by the way, if I ask you if you ever felt like your dad laughed at you growing up, what would you say? Oh, I don't think so. I'll have to think about that one. I mean, maybe, but that's not the first thing that comes up. But definitely a lot of harm. I mean, a lot of hurt.

A lot of hurt. Okay. So, uh, If I ask you zero to ten, how much you would say there was hurt from your father growing up? Eight. Uh, no, that's probably not fair to him. Um, seven.

All right. So, uh, let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her self honesty. Just really beautiful. I love her heart. Just a beautiful, beautiful being. And a few things you'll want to note. You know, all of the time, um, People get stuck in those feelings of feeling blame and then hurt and then, you know, vacillating between the two.

And if you notice your mind doing that, you'll of course want to decide a new positive way to feel. So that is really an important key insight to take away from this. Now, another key insight that you'll want to take is this. Is that, you know, notice she said, Oh, we'll level eight. And then she said, well, that's not fair to him.

A level seven, keeping in mind that emotions are important. And so we even had talked about this on episode 227, that you'll notice she's got a strong ability to kind of shove emotions, um, if you will, where, you know, even when these, When we're talking about these painful emotions, she's, you know, not emotional about it, even though you hear her saying, well, it's abusive and it was a lot of hurt.

And so you can hear her voice being very diplomatic, even though she's mentioning she's had a lot of emotions there. And so it's a lot of, Feeling of suppressing, and so we want to be careful about suppressing emotions and just, and making sure that, you know, to create that shift, we must really create a strong emotional change.

And by the way, you'll notice at the end as we continue, there is a part where she says, okay, well, hey, I'm still in pain. I still have this discomfort from the cramps. And you'll notice at that point, I kind of go in and push her a bit more. And I'm saying, okay, we'll get into your emotions. It's kind of, you'll, you'll notice there's a, we kind of shift gears into quite a nudge to get her to shift her emotions because that is key.

And so you'll notice that coming up. And so that is important to note as well. And by the way, Even as she states here, she says, Oh, well, a level eight, well, maybe a level seven, because that's not fair to him. Keeping in mind, when we check into our own emotions, it's not necessarily about, is it fair to another person or not?

You know, yes, we want to be fair to other people, of course. But what I mean by this is that we can get our emotions hurt over something that doesn't make any sense at all. And in which case, if we said, well, it's not fair to others to acknowledge my emotions, you know, that doesn't help us. And so that's what you want to keep in mind is that even if your emotions don't make logical sense.

you still want to notice how you're genuinely feeling and genuinely shift that. And you'll see again, coming up, you'll see, we've got to really create that shift by going into even more emotions to help her to get the results. So that's another key piece. Now, another insight that you'll want to note from here is this, is it, you know, when she said, okay, well, I'm just want to be grateful for the problem and the process.

Be very careful about linking. Being grateful for the problem and that's why, you know, I followed it up with my story and I said, okay well, I wouldn't want to go through mine again, but I see the gift in the change and Notice the difference. In other words, I've had people say to me before You know, Brandy, I wish I had some type of accident that woke me up like it did you.

And, and, you know, and I always say to people, you don't need the accident. You know, most people who get injured and are injured like I was, don't get better. So that wasn't the gift. The gift was that I changed. So, instead, do it better than I did it. You don't need to have a problem to change, you know. And so, my point from this is it's not the problem, it's the change that we want to appreciate.

And while this may seem like a small distinction, this is key for getting results. And maybe another way to illustrate it is like this, is imagine for a moment somebody who has a lot of pride. Connected to hardship. Well, if they have pride connected to hardship and pride connected to hardship, they're going to have a hard time letting the hardship go because it's connected to pride.

But if they instead have a lot of pride connected to their growth and who they've become, then they can let the hardship go and just hold on to the pride of who they've become and, and who they've grown into and their spirit or their heart or their spiritual growth. And that is beautiful. And so, while it may seem like a small distinction, it is huge because somebody who has pride in hardship is going to have a harder time healing.

It might be even probably impossible for them to genuinely heal all the way, but somebody who has a pride in who they've become or their spiritual awareness and, and their growth, that is a mindset for healing. So, again, it may seem like a very small distinction, but it is pivotal for getting real.

Results. All right. So, uh, that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Janine. Here we go.

Okay, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. It could be less than that. Okay, so I would have said, I would have said actually a little bit higher, but it's not about being fair to him because the reality of it is, is that a person could say, My feelings got very hurt, but for no reason. So it's not that your number is fair or unfair.

We didn't say, what did he do wrong? We just said, how much did you get your feelings hurt? Right? Okay. Well, yeah, in that case, it would be higher. Yes. Okay. Great. Great. All right. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and bingo. Yes. This is what I think in this case, what I think is the most beneficial for you is this, is I think that number one, Vet.

Thinking about the sense of peace that you had with A before, when you had that spontaneous remission where it was good for five months, I want you to think about how you felt. And, and by the way, notice, you also want to make sure that there's not a part of you that says, Oh, well, I should reconnect with A, unless it makes logical sense, which it doesn't sound or feel like it does.

But instead to say, I get it, I understand, and I have compassion, because if I ask you, by the way, if I ask you how much wounding that A has, how much would you say that is? Oh, probably, uh, nine or ten. Yeah, and so, I love your awareness, and noticing that, right? Noticing that he has that wounding there too, and so it was like you guys both had your wounding that was triggering each other, right?

Bingo. Great. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice what it would feel like if you let go of the victim or the blame or any of the upset, even the hurt, and you're at 100 percent peace with the past. You don't feel like the victim. You don't feel the anger, the upset.

You've really, really changed, and you feel completely different. You don't necessarily need to go hang out with A, because you see A's got some wounding, but you can acknowledge the past and also acknowledge how great things are now. How does that feel to you? Oh, it's amazing. I can do that. I can do that.

I know you can do that. You're, you're a, you're a very wise soul, so I feel you. I feel you very, very beautiful. And so I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling. You've got this. You can absolutely make this change. Now, if I ask you, 10, how much you feel like you can make this change to a new way of feeling and being with people.

these past issues. If I ask you how much you can make that change, what would you say? 10. Yeah, I believe in you. I really feel like you can. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And there was a lot of self blame towards self. If I ask you, if I ask you, can you trust self? Can you trust self?

Yeah, but there's still self blame, so maybe I trust myself less than I thought. I love your self awareness. I love your self awareness. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and how I want to invite you to navigate this one is really by knowing and seeing your behavior moving forward.

Meaning this, meaning that, it's kind of like this, when I was getting better from my injury, I had a huge distrust in my body that because I had would, you know, especially when I first was injured, I would try to want to go do something and I couldn't and, or I told people I was going to my work, my job at the time, I told him, I'm going to come back to work.

Don't worry. I'm going to be better in a few weeks. I just need to get better. And then I didn't. And then I didn't. And then I didn't. And so I just stopped trusting my body. And I kept saying I'm going to do these things and I, and I couldn't and my body wasn't there. And so when I started getting better and healing myself, one thing for me that I did is, you know, I started volunteering at a homeless shelter.

And another thing, If I said that I was going to do something in a day, I did it. Even, no matter how small, if I said I was going to drink a green drink in a day, I did. If I said I was going to work out, I did. And even, you know, three, four years after I got better and healed and I was healthy, if I said, that I was going to go to the gym.

There were times that I would literally run into the gym at 11 o'clock at night or 11 30 at night because I said I'm going to work out today and I was busy all day. So then I went and worked out at 11 o'clock just because I told myself I would. So I kept that trust with self. Does that make sense? And so, with this one right here, I would love for you to witness how beautiful your behavior is, and your being, and who you are, and moving forward, that over the next week or two or three, to just kind of make it an awareness in yourself that, that you notice.

You say, well, of course I can trust myself, of course I can trust my, I'm doing this really well, I can trust myself, and so it becomes something that you can see and feel. and embody and become aware of that then creates that connection with self. Does that make sense? Okay, so I'm observing that I can trust myself.

Yeah, over silly things, anything, but even, so kind of like this, even in your relationship, as you're navigating your current relationship, how much do you trust self? Oh, pretty high. Okay, now if I ask you how much you distrust yourself, not to mess it up, so to speak. Zero to ten, what would you say? Oh, that's interesting.

That one's pretty high too. Yep. I love your awareness. If I ask you, how much would you say you distrust yourself? Ah, let's really look deep in this. I feel that I'm, uh, like very afraid of making mistakes because that if I make a mistake then everything will be ruined. Bingo. Exactly. Exactly. I love, love your awareness.

Exactly. So, that is the, the point right here is exactly that, is, is becoming consciously aware that you can trust yourself, and also as you do, and you're bringing your awareness to it, that you're making the right actions. So you're noticing how your actions and how you are showing up in a relationship, because I do see the level of distrust of self about an 8.

And so, and so I love, I love that you could see that it was also pretty high as well. And so, and so it's one thing to just say, Oh, I trust myself. Oh, I just trust myself. But it's another thing to say, okay, I'm going to focus on trusting myself and I'm going to witness trusting myself and I'm going to observe it because when we can see it and we can feel it and we can embody it and be aware of it, we can really feel it that much stronger.

Does that make sense? Yeah, definitely.

All right. So, let's go ahead and pause it just for a really quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her self awareness. I just love it. I love her heart. What a beautiful, beautiful being. And just a quick note, so as we were talking right here and mentioning to establish trust, to see the behavior, to establish trust, and what you want to notice is it's not just with self.

if you will. And yes, that's part of it, but when we're scared of something that doesn't make sense, like she said, you know, if I'm not perfect, everything is just going to be ruined. And of course, that's not true. That hasn't been her experience. And yet she can feel that way on the inside. And so as she's doing this, it's not just trust in self, so to speak, which yes, it is, but also saying, okay, well I trust this moment.

Okay. I can see trusting it, establishing it. And so that's the feeling is it's kind of like pointing out to our mind saying, see mind, it is safe. See mind, I am okay. See mind, even if I'm not perfect, it's not going to Blow everything up and, you know, I don't need to run from it. I don't need to, you know, just noticing and creating that feeling of safety first, safety first, because then as she feels safe, she won't feel as though she needs to run so much, which is also, you know, connected to these issues going on.

And so that pivot is profound. And so showing your mind that to create that change can be the key. A profound shift. All right. So, uh, that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Janine. Here we go. Love

your self awareness. I love your self awareness. Okay. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling of knowing that you can trust yourself in your current relationship, of knowing that, of course, you can trust yourself, right? Yes. Right? Yes. Yes. 100 percent right?

Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. Great. If I ask you right now, 0 to 10, how weak and fatigued do you feel? What's your level?

Less. Oh my goodness. It's less. Right? Oh, Brandy. Thank you. Bingo. Great. Great. Yeah, definitely. It's less. Bingo. Great. Great. So, um, bingo. So, this is the thing. So, I want to invite you with this. So, I, I love that you're noticing and, and, and I want to invite you to really embody this change. And again, make it practical things that you can implement and just bring in that feeling of trust in your current relationship and, uh, and, and feeling that genuinely.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Bring a feeling of trust in current relationship, um, and come back and listen to this recording several times to just deepen your awareness and yeah, does that make sense? Break the pattern of running, um, so. How do I break the pattern of running? What I would do is, bingo, give me one second.

If I told you that I feel like somebody is abusive, how much do you think there's a part of my nervous system that's going to want to run? Oh, quite a bit for sure. Right. So, especially, I mean, some people may want to, you know, hide, some people may freeze, you know, fight, flight, freeze, run, like there's, it depends on how our nervous system is trained.

And so, in order of operations, because your mind is saying that so and so was abusive and so and so was abusive, blah, blah, blah, in the past, That I would say that, it's kind of like this, imagine if I told you I have a feeling of feeling like so and so is abusive and now I'm trying to train myself to not run.

How does that go? Yeah. No, that's not a good idea. Not a good idea. But if I told you I'm now seeing things in a different way where I see like, where I feel like, okay, there is, there's, it's not abusive and I am okay and it's not abusive and I, and I am okay and I see my side and their side and I get it.

and I'm okay, how much more can my nervous system and my energy calm down? Okay, a lot, yeah, definitely. Yes, so I would say order of operations, that you're going to really want to embrace this feeling first, especially because this pattern has been running since childhood. Okay. You're going to want to embrace this pattern first before you try telling your nervous system not to run, because that pattern won't, you won't be being triggered by that pattern.

Does that make sense? Okay. So first start seeing things in a different way without putting blame on any side. Yeah. And knowing that I'm okay. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Okay. And then also, again, trusting self is a huge. The other thing is, as far as the running pattern, as not seeing it as being cool. And so, if you are wanting to travel, I would say, making sure that you say, I want to travel, and there's still responsibilities, and I can be here and be responsible, and I can be there and be responsible, and I can be anywhere and still be responsible, so there is no feeling of escaping responsibilities, because, let's be honest, when you travel, are you still responsible?

Yes. Right? There's a lot of responsibilities, even when you travel. And so, make sure, so I would also tune in very much, and make sure that there's nothing that you're escaping or you're not feeling like, whew, I'm getting away from responsibilities, but you say, okay, well, there's this, and I love doing this also, and, and, and loving each thing.

Does that make sense? Bingo. Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Bingo. Wonderful. All right. So, that's what I would do. And again, I want you to notice how much your brain has been all over the place with A. Can you see that? Yeah, definitely. So, what happens is that it doesn't have a fun, uh, like a, a positive place to land right now.

It's like, oh, it's his fault. No, it's my fault. No, it's their fault. No, it's this fault. No, it's, like, so it needs a new place to land that then. it can feel safe in doing so and where you don't have to blame self because anytime you said, well, it's not his fault, then suddenly it's your fault. And what if it's nobody's?

What if you guys were a right hand and a left hand, so to speak, where you're triggering each other? You know what I mean? Beautiful. Okay. Beautiful. I love your self awareness and I have to say it is, it has just been such a pleasure connecting with you. Thank you so much, Brandy. I, I'm so sorry, I, I wanted to ask, I still have a little bit of, uh, cramps.

Is there something else there that may be, uh, Yeah, thank you. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and I want you to notice the part of you, there's a feeling of feeling like a deep internal tears towards your dad. Okay. Are you familiar with that? Deep internal what? Like, tears. Like an internal crying, uh, towards your father.

Are you familiar with that? Okay, I can see that. Okay, so, I love your awareness, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe,

and If I ask you, how is your relationship with your father to this day?

It hurts. We love each other. I love him very much. I worry about him. And I've never felt protected by him. I think that's one of my core wounds. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And now, is it his job to protect you? Not anymore. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

And if you and him were going to move into a better relationship. Mm hmm. A better relationship moving forward where you're not running from him. If you were going to say, okay, look it, I want a better relationship with him, what would you do?

Well, it's not up to me to change him, so I would need to work on myself and how I feel about the things that I know he's not going to change and how I act towards that. Okay, so, if I ask you, if you were just going to make a point moving forward to connect with the best parts of him, if you were just going to say, look, you didn't need anything from him, you just said, look, you're just going to take the best parts of him, the parts that you can connect with, and that you would make a point to connect with those parts of him.

Okay. What would that look like? Hmm. Okay. Now I'm going to push you real quick. Okay. So I'm going to push, I'm going to say, what would that look like if you were just connecting with the best parts of him? What would that even look like? Let's say it was harmonious. Let's say that you could connect with the best parts of him and you, you purposely just made a point to connect with the best parts, right?

Right. So let's say you did that, right? What would that even feel like if you did that? What would that even feel like if you did that? What would that feel like? It would feel fun. He's a lot of fun. What would it feel like? Fun. What? Fun. What? He's a lot of fun. What? You have fun. Okay. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

So you'd have fun with him, right? Uh huh. So you'd have a lot of fun with him and you guys could have fun together if you just connected. You weren't thinking about, yo, he didn't do this, he didn't do that, he wasn't blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You let that go and you said, look it, we're just going to have fun.

You don't need anything from him. You're just showing up and you're having fun together, right? What would that even look like? A lot of laughter. What? Laughter. Fun. Oh, great. So, could you let go of the tears and really enjoy the laughter? I mean, you could always laugh from tears if you're laughing so hard.

You could then have tears. I mean, that happens, right? But could you be okay with that and you let go of the blah, blah, blah, other stuff, but you could step into that? How would that feel to you?

Oh, my goodness, Brandy. I think The cramps have gone down. Bingo. Exactly. Exactly. So that's, and that's why, uh, uh, uh, when I said I wanted to push a little bit, right? Yeah, yeah. Right? I can do that. Right? So I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice your level of your cramps. Zero to ten, what's your level?

Right now zero. Uh huh. Oh my goodness. Thank you. Thank you. I'm gonna work on this so hard. Thank you so much. Honey, I just, oh, I feel chills. Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I want you to think about your dad and thinking about connecting and it's beautiful and it's fun and, yeah, if you're tears, it's tears from laughter, from laughing, from connecting, from moving things forward, laughing, connecting, moving things forward in a new way.

Not criticizing what he's not, or his shortcomings, or what he isn't doing, or the blah, you don't need. Like you're an adult, he's an adult, and you're creating a new way forward, and it feels really good, and it's good for your energy, and your being, and your relationships, and your soul, and all of these things.

And yes, we all come in with different things, many times with parents, and this, that, the other. And that you are outgrowing them. You are actually changing in this lifetime, where the things that, maybe the patterns that you came in, in this lifetime, you've evolved. You've evolved and let go of and really, really transformed at their core, and it's really impressive.

You got this? Yeah, this is so huge. It is, and just notice, just notice. Remember, I'm pushing for a reason, okay? Uh huh. So, it's not against your conscious mind, it's against your subconscious. So notice, by the way, also, when you said, Hey, I still have this pain, how much did I elevate my voice and start pushing a bit?

Yeah, you made it louder. Exactly. Yeah, so there was a push. So remember before when I said I need to be able to push to work with your mind in a different way, right? Yeah, of course. Okay, so and how did you do with your energy? Uh, zero to ten. Pretty good. And if I wait, wait, excuse me, zero to ten and I expect nothing less than an eleven.

Okay. Twelve. Thank you. Thank you. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I'm going to ask you to take that in. Absolutely twelve. I was going to say thirteen, but, So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and take that in. Fantastic job, and evolving this pattern in this lifetime.

Very, very impressive. Very impressive. And so, I'm going to ask you to breathe. and take that feeling in that you've got this. You've absolutely got this. And you're willing to change. You've got this. Real change. Not fake change. Real change. And it's beautiful. Beautiful. Fantastic job with your energy, lovely.

Fantastic job. It, it is just, I love your heart. I, I love your energy. I, I love your awareness and you're just, you're just beautiful and it, it has been such a pleasure connecting with you today. Thank you so much for everything you do and for taking me on. Thank you. You are absolutely so, so, so welcome.

You're so welcome.

So let's go ahead and unpack this even more. And I have to say, first and foremost, I just love her. What a beautiful, beautiful being. I love her self honesty and I love the insights from this episode. Now, of course, there were a lot of insights going through out the episode. So I just want to emphasize just a few things that you'll want to note, you know, first and foremost, when she mentioned at the end here that she was still having the pain and notice.

I pushed a bit more, got her into a more of an emotional state, to access more of her emotions, to then be able to shift them. It was like shifting gears. And that was important. And point being, is that when you create that shift in your life, you want to make sure That you're not just going numb or disconnecting from your emotions.

And as I've mentioned in previous episodes, that was me, you know, I was very disconnected from my emotions so much. So I didn't think that I had emotions. I thought they were solved. I thought they were gone. I really didn't feel emotional about something. So I felt, I mean, if you would have asked me if I had fear.

In me, I would have said no, that would be ridiculous. And yet, it was underlying, even though I really, really genuinely didn't feel like I had it, because I was just so good at suppressing it. So that is something that I just really want to emphasize. Now the second insight that I really want to emphasize has to do with order.

So you know, she asked, well, how do I get rid of this feeling of wanting to run? And first, it's important to really start shifting that feeling of hurt and abuse and just make sure that that's been really ingrained because if not, the result could go the other way. You know, if somebody's feeling the abuse and feeling hurt and feeling very, very wounded and then tells themselves to just stay there and not run, it could make it worse.

And that's the point is that you want to make sure and think about what you're doing with your mind and make sure that you're using logic, that you do it in a way that makes you feel good and moves you towards healthier ways of thinking and feeling. And so order is always so, so important. And so you always, always, always want to tune into yourself.

And make sure that you're self regulating that you are paying attention and you're making sure you feel safer, more loved, happier, you know, everything is just moving in a positive direction and paying attention to that because only you can really know and, and check in and, and see. And so, but just emphasizing as we can see clearly from this very example, following a particular order is really important for getting the results that you want.

And, of course, the great thing is, is that order can make things so much easier as well. And, you know, the silly example that you hear me use all of the time is this, is even when we're getting dressed, you know, if we put our shoes on and then tried to put our pants on. It would feel hard or even impossible to get dressed, but if we put our pants on, then we put our shoes on, it's a lot easier.

And everything we do has an order to it. The alphabet, or typing, or working on a computer, or driving a car, everything has an order to it. And, the more that we can use the order, the easier it is. And so, and we can see that. It's just, you know, moving that pattern towards the positive first and really feeling that and feeling that and getting it in will feel a lot safer then continuing to change the rest of the patterns.

So that is of course key. And as I mentioned in the very beginning, there are a lot of insights from this episode, just so many different, really helpful insights. And so on that note, I want to invite you to see if you can even just take just one and see if you can implement it in your life. And also, I want to ask you to please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode.

You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and loved and loving that every single person is, the better this world is for all of us. And so please do make a point to hit the share button, and please do make a point to have a wonderful, happy, healthy, and loving day.

Rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at BrandyGillmore. com slash podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.