Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your body, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let’s begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. Love it. And I just love today’s episode for so many reasons.

The Joy of Humor and Profound Insights

One reason is just our volunteer. She is so good with her sense of humor and bantering and playfulness that it’s just sweet. There were a couple of times I was just, uh, the belly laugh, you know, just laughing and it was just so sweet. And also, of course, profound. Just where a simple awareness, when you really think of the depth of it and the understanding of the mind-body connection, it’s just, it’s mind-expanding. And so that’s another thing that I absolutely love about today’s episode.

And so that of course is where we’re going into profound insights. It’s now. What we’re doing really in the big picture is, you know, on the last few episodes, we’ve been talking about the awareness of falling in love with life and also getting rid of the feeling of struggle because all of the time people will feel those very things.

Struggles in Optimism and the Subconscious Mind

I see people who are, on one hand, an optimist. You know, they’re optimistic that life can improve, that they can create their vision or manifest or heal. And obviously, if somebody wasn’t on some level an optimist, they probably wouldn’t be here. You know, trying, saying, “Okay, look, I’m optimistic that something could work.”

But all the time, there are mixed emotions in the subconscious mind that also say something like, “Life is a struggle, it’s not really going to work out, or it feels like one thing after another, after another.” And that can keep you from really getting the results that you’re wanting on a deeper level.

One way to kind of think about it is to imagine trying to drive a car with one foot on the gas and the other foot on the brake. That feels hard to do. So if one part of the mind has a vision and is optimistic, but on the subconscious level, there are a lot of blocks going on, it feels like a struggle and it can keep you from, of course, healing yourself and changing your life. It also can keep you from really feeling ambitious about life and falling in love with life.

Reconnecting with Love for Life

Now, if you think about my past for a moment, you know, going through my injury—if you know my story—wheelchair, walker, cane, in extreme pain for six and a half, almost seven years. Razor blades and burning pain—it was horrible. Morphine every day and nerve ablations and fusions, you know, all of those things. And I had to learn to fall back in love with life.

Of course, you’ll hear me say all the time, people might think that I’m in love with life because I healed, but of course, all change started from within, of really rewiring my mind at a deeper level. And so that’s part of where we’re also going is, of course, healing and blocks to healing, but also falling in love with life again and really changing and embracing that change consciously.

And I would say, you know, it is divine timing because many times, during this time of life, of the new year, people have a feeling of excitement about the new year—of, you know, what are their New Year’s goals and New Year’s resolutions. And then also it is very common for somebody to feel like, well, they set New Year’s goals last time and maybe they didn’t work out. And, you know, they had their New Year’s resolutions, or they feel like maybe life isn’t that exciting, but you know, “I’ve got to set some goals anyway.”

It can be a lot of mixed emotions. So I would say this is divine timing to really look at this awareness of what can block you from healing or block you from falling in love with life and really gaining that insight. So again, just so many reasons that I love this episode. And so that’s where we’re going. And as we dive in, just a quick reminder, this is part two of the session with Anne.

Exploring Part Two of Anne’s Session

Meaning that I did one session with her that was about 40 minutes long, but by the time I added in insights, it would make it an hour and a half or two hours long. And so instead, I broke it in half. Last week, we started with the first half of the session where we were talking about exactly that. Part of what was coming up was just that feeling of wanting to feel optimistic about life, but also feeling like it was a struggle.

So we started there. And that’s where we dive in today—we’re going to pick up on that second half where we’re looking at a deeper level of the struggle and the feeling of “life is a pain in the neck” and releasing those feelings as we go through today’s session. And so that’s where we’re going. And again, you are absolutely going to love Anne. She’s such a sweetheart. And on that note, let’s go ahead and dive back in. Here we go.

Releasing Blocks and Finding Balance

Brandy: What if you’re motivated and excited, and also you have balance, and it feels good? What does that look like?

Anne: Oh, there are days when I kind of achieve that, and those are the best days.

Brandy: Bingo. So I’m going to ask you to breathe and close your eyes and take in the awareness that you could actually find balance that feels incredible. Balance that feels incredible. Now, by the way, I want you to think about your children for a moment and think about their lives. Would you want them to just have one thing after another, after another, or would you want them to have a productive, amazing, wonderful life and then time to relax and have fun and play and enjoy also, right?

Anne: Yes. Oh, of course. Definitely, yeah.

Brandy: Okay, so I’m going to ask you to breathe, and I’m going to ask you just for a moment—what if life and everything wasn’t all a pain in the neck? But what if it was actually great? What would that feel like?

Anne: (Breathes deeply) Light.

Brandy: What?

Anne: Light. It would be not so heavy. I’m so tired and heavy, so it would be light.

Brandy: Okay, light. Now, if I ask you to notice what it would look like… Notice how it feels tired and heavy, or then you relax. Or tired and heavy, or then you relax. Or tired and heavy, or then you relax. Where does that feeling of being full of life, ambition, fun—where does that come from?

Anne: Yeah, okay. Never lost that.

Brandy: Okay, great. Great awareness. Great awareness. I like that. Now, if I ask you—you said lost that. So if I ask you, in the past, did you have that ambition for life to enjoy, to create, to do, to be, to grow, and expand, right?

Anne: Oh yeah.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And what happens if you get that back?

Anne: Amazing. Oh, I can see the colors. Yeah.

Brandy: Ah, beautiful. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. So is life one thing after another, after another? Is it a pain in the neck? Or is it actually pretty freaking fantastic, amazing, and wonderful? You decide.

Anne: Yeah, I want the freaking amazing, wonderful life. Yeah, I like that.

Brandy: So our thoughts, our emotions, our mindset help create our lives, right?

Anne: Oh yeah.

Brandy: So who do you think is going to come in and create that for you?

Anne: I’ll have to do it myself.

Brandy: I love that. Fantastic, but darn it, you’re just—now you’re going to have to do that too, right?

Anne: (Laughs)

Brandy: Okay, or could you come alive and do that and enjoy and have fun? Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe and enjoy and have fun and come alive and feel good in it. And I’m going to ask you to breathe. And I’m going to ask you to notice your level of pain, 0 to 10. What’s your level of pain in your neck?

Anne: It’s coming and going, about a 1, 2 maybe.

Brandy: About a 1, 2. And who’s doing that?

Anne: Oh, I am.

Brandy: Okay, so I’m going to ask you to breathe. You said it’s always there, but now it’s coming and going. So how amazing are you?

Anne: Amazing.

Brandy: Amazing. Zero to ten. How amazing are you? And I expect nothing less than an eleven.

Anne: (Laughs) Oh, this is hard for me to say.

Brandy: What? It’s hard for you to say?

Anne: What? No. Oh, wait, wait. No, no, no. I’m amazing. I’m amazing. I am amazing.

Brandy: Did you really pick this card? Are you really going to make this hard, too?

Anne: (Laughs)

Brandy: It doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be. You’re going to make this hard?

Anne: No.

Brandy: Okay, so just say eleven and pretend like it’s easy to say eleven.

Anne: Oh yeah. I’m amazing.

Brandy: I love it. At least. Yeah. I love it. And how, but how hard was that? Was that laborious for you? Was that pretty hard to do? Or maybe, maybe, maybe it could be easy?

Anne: It could be easier.

Brandy: Okay. Great. We’re just going to stick right there. Yeah. It could be easy, right? Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Can I tell you how much I love your sense of humor? I just love it. Thank you. Thank you for your banter, your sense of humor, your playfulness. Very, very good. And I love that.

Anne: Thank you.

Brandy: And I’m going to ask you to breathe. And I’m going to ask you just for a moment to notice that everything could be easier. You could enjoy it more, it could be easier, you could make a point to enjoy and have fun and do it with fun and ease, right?

Anne: Okay. Yeah.

Understanding Emotional Resistance

Brandy: Bingo. So, I think you also communicated something very clearly and watch this. It’s very hard for me to say amazing at an eleven. It’s really hard. Now, why is this hard for me?

Anne: Because emotionally, I’m making it hard.

Brandy: Does that make sense?

Anne: Yeah, it does.

Brandy: Great. So, I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And even though I know you can obviously say that, it just communicates so well that our emotions can make things hard that don’t have to be.

And a way to think about it is like this: Imagine a third grader who’s sitting down doing their homework and they’re feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. How do they do?

Anne: Not too well, I think.

Brandy: Not too well. But if they take a moment to just start figuring it out, to start paying attention and noticing and all of that, how much easier could it be to learn if they’re not frustrated and stressed and struggling?

Anne: A lot easier, because then they wouldn’t be blocked by this kind of negative thing.

Brandy: Exactly, right. So I’m going to ask you to breathe and I’m going to invite you to close your eyes. And so if you let go of the feeling of one thing after another, after another, how much easier could life be?

Anne: Oh, that would be so much easier.

Brandy: So much easier. So I’m going to ask you to breathe.

Brandy: All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, again, I love her sense of humor. I love her laughter. I love her awareness. Just absolutely beautiful. And I also want to just add a little bit of depth here for a moment.

You know, it sounds easy, just, okay, well, let’s just be happy towards life. But a lot of people, when they do this, they do this on the surface, or it becomes a conscious effort, and they just put in this conscious effort to do so. But what you want to remember is that we really need to reprogram the subconscious mind to get results. And not only that, but the subconscious mind is the part that makes it feel hard.

And, you know, using the example of a third grader doing their homework, imagine if somebody is doing their homework and they feel all of these emotions—the stress or the fear or the upset—it can make it so much harder to get results. Or another example might be this: if you’ve ever done this before, where you were having an argument or something stressful going on, and then maybe you’re trying to focus on work and you find your mind constantly distracted and stuck in the problem, it makes it harder to focus.

And so my point is, again, is that it does take a real change at a subconscious level. So even though I’m saying, you know, to fall back in love with life, it does, it does take an effort. It does take a real change and genuinely reprogramming your mind. But of course, that starts with wanting to do it and also identifying what is blocking you and being willing to really change and to shift this in your subconscious mind, in your nervous system at a deeper level.

Because when you do that, that’s when it becomes pivotal. And so just food for thought that there is depth to this information, but it’s transformative when you really make that change. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Anne. Here we go.

Letting Go of Old Beliefs

Brandy: And, uh, what if you’re not lazy? And what if you don’t need to prove to your mom that you’re not lazy anymore either? What does that look like?

Anne: Oh, that would be nice. You know, allowing myself to relax.

Brandy: And by the way, when was the last time your mother called you lazy?

Anne: Oh, well, she died 15 years ago, but probably just before that.

Brandy: Okay. Okay. And if I ask you, why did she say you were lazy?

Anne: Yeah, that’s a good question, really.

Brandy: So, I have a question. If I call you an elephant, are you going to start believing it too?

Anne: No.

Brandy: No, you’re an elephant. You’re really an elephant. Are you going to believe it?

Anne: Uh, no.

Brandy: Okay, so let me ask you. Are you lazy?

Anne: No.

Brandy: No. Are you an elephant?

Anne: Definitely not.

Brandy: Okay. Bingo. So you don’t have to believe what everybody else tells you, right? So you don’t have to keep fighting that invisible voice. Like, imagine today, if after we hang up, you’re purposely walking around and jumping, because you’re like, “I’m going to show Brandy I am not an elephant.” And you start jumping.

Anne: (Laughs) That might be weird.

Brandy: Slightly, yeah. Okay. So do you need to keep proving to your mum that you’re not lazy?

Anne: No.

Brandy: No. Great. So I would invite you, instead of getting caught up in the mix—you know how you said earlier, you said you kind of lost your ambition for life, right? You lost your ambition that you used to have.

Anne: Okay.

Brandy: So out of curiosity, what happens if you sat down and you started thinking about, okay, what is my ambitious feeling towards my future? What do I want to feel?

Now, this is the thing. You might not know, and this is why, okay? Imagine if I’ve been feeling frustrated about life, frustrated and frustrated. How easy is it to see all of the greatness in life?

Anne: Quite impossible, I’d say.

Brandy: Okay, so the thing of it is, what we have to remember is that the more that we unblock our mind, the more it’s easier to see. So, kind of like this: if we’re really, really, really, really in love with somebody, what do we see?

Anne: All the good things.

Brandy: All the good things. If we’re really, really, really, really angry, how easy is it to see all the positive?

Anne: Not much.

Brandy: So if we’re angry and frustrated with life, how easy is it to see?

Anne: The good? Hard.

Brandy: It’s hard. Or even some people, they’ll be angry and frustrated with life, and then they see somebody else having what they want, and then they build up the feeling of jealousy. So as soon as they see the great things, they feel jealous. As soon as they—so it’s like they have programmed ways.

So it’s really about changing that programming towards life to start feeling more blissful towards it. And then you start seeing more and more of the opportunity, the beauty, the love, the ambition, the excitement. But that change has to start from within. Does that make sense?

Anne: Yeah, it does.

Brandy: Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. This would mean you’d have to change your attitude first, right? You could be, right?

Anne: Oh man, it’s one thing after another.

Brandy: Good. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. But you’ve got this, right? You can change. Right? Can you?

Anne: Yeah. Yes, I can.

Brandy: Okay. Now, imagine if you fall back in love with life even more, and life falls back in love with you even more. What does that look like?

Anne: Oh, wonderful. Wonderful.

Brandy: Great. I’m going to ask you to breathe and notice your level in your neck. Zero to ten, what’s your level?

Anne: Well, this is the thing, it kind of moves around.

Brandy: Okay, maybe, maybe, all right, maybe, maybe. Number, first and foremost, what’s the level in your neck?

Anne: Oh, my neck, yeah. One, maybe?

Brandy: Okay, one maybe. And the other area’s now moved. And what’s the level in your, uh, shoulder?

Anne: Yeah. Two, three.

Brandy: Okay. About a three. Okay. Bingo. And so I’m going to ask you to notice the part of you who expects that things won’t work out anyway. “I’ve tried. I’ve tried.”

Anne: (Laughs) Yep.

Brandy: Okay. So, uh, so I’m going to ask you to breathe. And why are you laughing?

Anne: Because, well, you know why. Because some way it feels—

Brandy: Bingo. Okay, so I’m going to ask you to breathe. I want you to think about when you learned how to walk as a kid. How many times do you think you stood up and then fell and stood up and fell and stood up and fell?

Anne: Oh, that’s a good one. Yeah.

Brandy: But your kids, they never did that. As soon as they started walking, they stood up, they just ran. Or did they stand up and fall and stand up and fall?

Anne: Oh, sure they did.

Brandy: And imagine if they did it twice and they were like, “You know what, this isn’t just going to work anyway.” And then fast forward, they’re going to high school, and they’re crawling their way to high school because they decided, “Forget it, this walking thing just isn’t going to work. I tried twice, five times, didn’t work.”

Anne: (Laughs) You’re saying this isn’t a quick fix?

Brandy: I’m just saying you gotta stand up again. Yeah. Right?

Anne: I hear you. We’ve all fallen. Oh, I hear you now.

Brandy: So, what’s up? This is easing off?

Anne: It is. Yeah.

Brandy: What’s your level right now?

Anne: One, maybe. It’s better there.

Brandy: That’s what I would’ve said. I would’ve said about a point, about a 0.4 is what I had, like right up. Uhhuh, notice.

Anne: Okay. Okay. Yeah, that’s good.

Brandy: Bing. Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe.

The Role of Change and Follow-Through

Brandy: All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, I do want to say on the note of easy and hard for a moment where, you know, she was saying, “But that’s hard.” And it’s—and then she says, “Okay, well that’s easy.”

And let’s unpack this for a moment because a lot of times what can feel hard for somebody isn’t necessarily hard, but it’s new. And if we look at the big picture, something you’ll hear me say all the time is this: when we change, change takes follow-through. It does take wanting to change. It does take follow-through to reprogram the mind so we genuinely feel different. And it takes an awareness. So yes, it absolutely does take follow-through.

But it’s not necessarily hard unless you’re fighting against yourself or unless you don’t know how to do it. Because, I mean, let’s be honest, anything can be hard or feel hard if we don’t know how to do it. I mean, even working on a computer can feel really hard if you don’t know how to do it. But the more you know how to do it, the more it becomes easy.

Brandy: I mean, now working on a computer is very easy. If you know what you’re doing, it becomes easy and helpful. And the same is true with the mind, is that yes, it takes follow-through. Yes, it takes real change and it can feel hard, but it can feel good if you’re trying to—if you don’t know how to do it. But the more you gain clarity on how to do it truly, like anything—like writing your name, like driving a car, like working on a computer—just literally anything and everything is easier to do the more we learn how to do it.

So yeah, it takes learning a new skill for sure. It takes follow-through. Absolutely. And what’s hard though? Hard is staying in the old. That’s what is hard. You know, if you think about my life, for example, going through extreme pain and illness and hard, like all of that, that was hard.

Or if we look at Anne’s situation where she’s feeling stuck in the struggle and in pain and just—and feeling that heaviness and having pain moving around, that’s—that’s hard. So, change and healing yourself isn’t hard. Yes, it does take learning a new skill. Yes, it does take follow-through. Yes, it does take real change. But it’s not hard. Just the more you have the clarity and you see how to do it, it’s easier. It actually becomes easier and easier and easier and easier, and it feels good. It feels pivotal. And even at the end of the session, you know, when Anne, her pain is gone, and she says, “I feel so much lighter.”

Because of course, as we learn to work with the mind in a different way, that’s what happens. We feel better. We feel lighter. So it’s not hard, but it does take doing things differently, in a different way. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with Beautiful Anne. Here we go.

Encouraging Persistence and Letting Go

Brandy: And I know it would be great if you saw your kids. They try something, it doesn’t work so well, try something, it doesn’t work so well, and they’re like, “Well, I’m going to do what you did. I’m going to give up. It’s just not going to work anyway.” You’re like, “Yes, way to go.” Right? Am I right or am I right?

Anne: Yes, so right.

Brandy: You would tell them, “Yeah, you’re right. It’s probably not going to work. Don’t even bother.”

Anne: (Laughs) This is so funny because I’m stubborn in so many other things.

Brandy: No, you? Oh no! What? Couldn’t be? That when your mom called you lazy, that stubborn part of you that likes to prove her wrong was like, “No, no, no, no.”

Anne: That could be.

Brandy: Nah, nah.

Anne: No, no. That can’t be that.

Brandy: So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Yes. Great. So you’re willing to change?

Anne: Yes.

Brandy: Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. Now, by the way, I was stubborn, but in a different way. And don’t get me wrong, I have a past of being stubborn, but then I realized that it wasn’t serving me and I had to use it in a way that was. And so when I started seeing research, like the placebo and multiple personality disorder, that somebody can have a different illness and a different personality, I thought, “You know what? If this is possible, I’m going to figure out how to do this.” And it literally became my obsession.

Okay, how does it work? How am I going to figure it out? What’s it like? And it changed my life, right? So if you think about it for a moment, you’ve been able to take your pain from a four to a point four. You’ve been able to see it move. So how amazing are you?

Anne: Amazing.

Brandy: Great. Amazing. Amazing. Right. And now the other thing is, is if you think about it, you and I have never met before, but yet the specific patterns, you can see exactly what I’m talking about, right? You—and you see how they connect with your mind-body, right?

Anne: Yes.

Brandy: So I’m going to ask you to breathe so you could change or you could be stubborn and not. Can I tell you, I love your sense of humor. You’re so good. You’re just—thank you for meeting me there.

Anne: Thank you.

Brandy: So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And I’m going to ask you to take in the awareness that trying again, that saying, “Okay, I’m going to get my ambition for life, but this time I’m going to align with it. This time is just going to be better and better and better and better. And I can do this and I’ve got this.” What does that look like?

Anne: That’s good.

Brandy: It’s good? It’s good or great?

Anne: Yeah, it’s great, but there’s a kind of, “I don’t deserve this.” Kind of, “Who am I to—uh, I don’t know.”

Brandy: Bingo. You’re right. You don’t. No.

Brandy: Yeah. No. I was looking at your energy and how many banks that you’ve robbed. And how many cars you’ve stolen and stuff like that.

Anne: (Laughs)

Brandy: So, just yesterday out robbing banks, I assume, right? Even if you did, you’d have to let go. Everybody’s made mistakes in the past. But does it make sense that you really don’t deserve?

Anne: There is no sense in that whatsoever, and I know this.

Brandy: Bingo. Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. And give me one second. And I also want you to notice the part of you—and this may sound a little odd, maybe not—that’s still having an argument with your mom. Can you feel that feeling?

Anne: Mmm.

Brandy: Can I tell you something?

Anne: Yeah.

Brandy: One of the things I have also is this kind of coming and going pain in my jaws, a centipede around my jaws. And since, oh, the last couple of weeks, I’ve been playing around with this and just thinking about just taking my mum into my thoughts will sort of provoke this. And that’s really weird because I don’t have a feeling connected to it. I don’t feel anything. I’m not thinking on any particular event or anything, but there must be something because I can kind of bring this up just by thinking about her.

Brandy: Bingo! Bingo! Love your awareness. So, if I ask you how much you felt that come up, even when I just mentioned her?

Anne: Uh, you know, it’s about, I don’t know, three.

Brandy: That’s exactly what I would have said. About a three. Six, somewhere in there. So, I’m going to ask you to breathe. Three, two, one. And notice the part of you who’s still arguing with your mum.

Anne: Yeah, apparently.

Brandy: So if I tell you you’re really an elephant, are you going to believe me, yes or no?

Anne: Oh, no.

Brandy: You want to argue about it?

Anne: No.

Brandy: No? You sure?

Anne: Yeah, I’m sure.

Brandy: But how long do you want to argue about that for?

Anne: I think I’m done, really.

Brandy: Okay. You’re done already?

Anne: I don’t want to anymore anyway.

Brandy: All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. Again, I just love her sense of humor. She’s so playful, and I love just that she can banter. Just beautiful, just absolutely beautiful.

Breaking the Cycle of Subconscious Patterns

Brandy: And the insight that I want to share with you right here is that a lot of times what can happen is, you know, people can stay stuck in that argument, so to speak, even if they’re not actually having the argument on a day-to-day basis. They can still feel stuck in it. Or what can happen is this: people may feel like, okay, they’ve let it go, but that doesn’t always clear things from the subconscious mind.

So a lot of times, there are deeper layers in the subconscious mind that really need to be shifted to create that change. And so the insight that I want to share right here is exactly that. One part that can feel challenging is the part of not wanting to let it go and just not wanting to change, not wanting to let it go.

That can create a huge resistance to change. Because if you don’t want to let something go, but then also want to change, you basically can be fighting yourself, right? And so part of it is wanting to change and being willing to change, and that’s a key. And then that’s the top layer. You know, that is the first step because then it really becomes about rewiring the pattern at a deeper level in the subconscious mind.

But I love that we can see this awareness where there’s a stuckness. And that then taking it to the next level of really changing is going to be key for lasting results. And so again, I just love that. And that’s where we’re going, because there are additional layers coming up. So that’s where we’re going as we step back in with beautiful Anne. Here we go.

Brandy: And so I’m going to ask you to breathe and notice what it feels like to fuel your energy towards your future, your wins, your life, instead of fueling it towards your mom. What does that feel like? If you fuel that in a positive way, what does that look like?

Anne: I would be, again, more, more light somehow. More colors in my life.

Brandy: Ah, great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Now there’s no part of you that really likes to win an argument, right?

Anne: Well, I know when I’m right, but I don’t really want to win, but I just want the truth.

Brandy: Bingo, which is to win. If I’m right. So if I asked you how much you want to win over your mom still, what would you say?

Anne: Yeah, you’re probably right. I want to prove her wrong.

Brandy: Okay, so I’m going to ask you to breathe, and what would it take to prove her wrong, considering she’s not even in the physical world anymore? Like, how are you going to win that one?

Anne: I would work myself into another burnout, I think.

Brandy: Bingo. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. Now, out of curiosity, what if your mom was just projecting? What if she felt like she was lazy, and so she was just projecting and experiencing that, and projecting? What would that—like, how much would you then, if you knew she’s just projecting—if you knew that?

That she was projecting and feeling that way herself. If you knew that, how much longer would you, and that’s like her perception and that’s her thing that she’s experiencing. Could you just let her be in her own bubble and be okay with her own projections without needing to argue against it?

Anne: Yeah, definitely.

Brandy: I’m going to ask you to breathe. Now, notice how when you just kind of—when your mind can actually find a way to sit with it, it can actually be okay. It can be like, “You know what? If she’s just projecting, like, I don’t need to fight against it. I can discontinue that, right?”

Anne: Yeah.

Brandy: Great. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And I want you to notice what that feels like, to feel like you can just discontinue the argument.

Anne: Bingo.

Brandy: Bingo. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And I want you to think about, for a moment, if I ask you to notice—by the way, how much lighter that feels, what would you say?

Anne: Oh yeah. Definitely. Hugely, right?

Brandy: Okay. So if I ask you your level in your jaws, zero to ten, what’s your level?

Anne: Some is there, but not much.

Brandy: What level would you say?

Anne: One.

Brandy: One. Okay. So, uh, so give me one second. Okay. And so, can you also notice the part of you who’s afraid to do too much? Afraid to go into burnout. Can you see that?

Anne: Okay.

Brandy: If I ask you how much you have a feeling of telling yourself, “If you do a lot, you’re going to end up in burnout,” what would you say?

Anne: Yeah.

Brandy: Okay. Now, is that true? Well, let me ask you this: are there people who do a lot who don’t end up in burnout?

Anne: Oh, definitely.

Brandy: So wait, it’s possible? So is burnout from doing too much then? If the human being can keep going and do, is burnout actually—

Anne: No, I would say burnout is when a person’s trying to force themself to do something but their mind doesn’t want to, or they’re out of alignment, or they’re feeling guilty or punishing themselves. So every time they’re trying to go forward, they’re trying to go back. Imagine a car that’s trying to go forward and backward at the same time for a long time. Eventually, it does what?

Anne: Burns out. Like, pfft. Definitely. But, it’s awesome.

Brandy: Bingo. But imagine a car that’s driving really, really fast. Okay, great. As long as you keep fueling, as long as it feels fueled, it’s fine, right? So, I’m going to ask you to breathe. Bingo.

Brandy: And I want you to notice the part of you that’s afraid to do too much. Like, there’s a feeling of being afraid to do too much. You can see that, right?

Anne: Yep.

Brandy: Okay. But what if it’s fun? What if it’s exciting? What if it’s fun? What if it’s exciting?

Anne: Bingo.

Brandy: What?

Anne: It is fun to do a lot. It is fun when I’m kind of spinning around and multitasking and just—oh, it is fun.

Brandy: Yeah, it is fun, isn’t it?

Anne: Yeah, definitely. It is fun.

Brandy: It is fun. So I’m going to ask you to breathe. And notice your level of pain, zero to ten. What’s your level?

Anne: Uh, not much, it’s kind of here, side of my neck a bit, toes, slightly, finger, really.

Brandy: So if I ask you—

Wrapping Up Insights

Brandy: All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, just again, I love her personality, her sense of humor. She’s just beautiful. And just also love her self-awareness and self-honesty. I mean, just again, beautiful, beautiful being.

And a few insights from this: first and foremost, the idea of loving working. You know, all of the time, I’ll see people who feel exactly that way, who love what they do. They love feeling good about what they’re doing, they love contributing, they love, you know, whatever their job is. Whether it’s real estate or working in technology or, you know, helping or fashion or all kinds of things—film or technology—I mean, just all kinds of things.

When a person feels good at something, you know, when you feel like you’re good and it’s productive or multitasking or getting things done—all of those feelings, work can feel fabulous, or days can feel fantastic, you know, just that feeling. And of course, if you’re feeling not good enough, overwhelmed, stressed out, fearful, critical of self, it’s a whole different feeling.

And so when we really stop and think about it, just even in this year moving forward, you know, of life, a lot of times, people can fall out of love with life, or fall out of love with their relationship, or their work, or what they’re doing. And, like anything, the more you can fall back in love with your relationship, with life, with work, with what you do, with this beautiful, beautiful world, the more that life just can fall back in love with you.

Brandy: So bringing it all together, my hope for you for this year and beyond is that you find joy, ease, and balance, embracing life fully. Thank you for being here.