IQ-176 Transcript: Increasing Love and Connections in Relationships & Parenting

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and body. And your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and happy, beautiful day to you on today's episode. I want to answer questions that I get all of the time regarding relationships. And also children, because time and time again, these questions come up. And, and in fact, this weekend, I was actually speaking at two different events and basically these questions come up, either people email them in or at events, I get these questions.

And so I want to answer them here to help you in your life. Now, if we start with the relationship question and then I'll go to the question on children, but with the relationship question. I get all of the time is this, is people say, well, how can I get more of my spouse more involved or you know, how can I, I want my spouse to, to heal and get better and, and all of these things.

And so I would say a few key insights on this, because I know what it looks like. And I know all of the time I'll see people who get on the self healing journey or the spiritual or personal development journey, whatever you want to call it, but they get on this kick of, you know, Working on healing themselves, transforming their lives, and they may feel disconnected from their partner, and they may feel frustrated.

And what you'll want to remember is always make sure that you're not pushing information on somebody. However, also, Remember to speak their language. And this is what I mean. Is that, you know, if you look at my work, I literally, I mean, if you think about my TEDx talk, in it I speak about emotions.

Basically I simplify mind body healing. And I really simplify it and over simplify it just to Kind of make it accessible to the awareness of simplicity of emotions, right? Now, of course, sometimes what also happens is people will say, just as I would, they would say, well, emotions are too simple. My situation has got to be worse than that.

Or, you know, emotions are just too simple. Because in our culture, That's how we look at emotions. We think we're way too simple. And so I will also speak to that and talk about the awareness that our emotions are actually also can influence our energy of our body. So we could get more technical and say biophotons are ultra weak photon emissions.

And we could talk about how biophotons and ultra weak photon emissions can also Uh, influence cellular, you know, cellular proliferation and healing and communicate information throughout the body. So we could get more technical, okay? Or we could keep it more simple and talk about emotions. My point is exactly that.

Is that we can put this healing with the mind, we could put it in a very scientific way. Uh, so we could talk about energy. We could also talk about psychoneuroimmunology. Which shows that stress affects the physical body. Or we could simplify it. We could talk about emotions. We all know emotions affect the physical body.

You know, if somebody's embarrassed, their face turns red, you know, we all know that emojis on our cell phone knows that and, uh, you know, or panic attack or even somebody who can die of a broken heart. And so we can see the impact of emotions. And so my point is, we could talk about it spiritually, we could talk about metaphysics, we could talk about it being in the Bible.

And my point is, there's so many different ways to talk about it. And that's why you always notice, because my biggest goal is to help bridge the gap between science and spirituality and show results so people can see healing. And so even if you, Notice, just, I'm, I'm used to putting this information in many different languages and then bringing it together.

So I might even, um, if you think about podcast episodes, I will channel information and help a volunteer to shift their mindset. and release their own pain because it's demonstrating the results. But again, it's putting it in the information in a very practical way. But while I'm also simultaneously channeling information, or I could call it, you know, intuitively connecting with what the volunteer is feeling.

So we could call it intuition. We're going to call it channeling information, or we could call it something more technical, like mirror touch synesthesia. Which is a medically documented phenomenon where one person can feel what another person's feeling. And so my point is exactly that. Notice how I put it in different languages.

And a lot of times what can happen in a relationship is people speak different languages. Now specifically, if we think about this in depth for a moment. Think about this. Imagine a woman who is trying to talk to her husband about her emotions. Now, she wants to feel understood, she wants to talk about the emotional discoveries, or what not.

Now, imagine for a moment, we're going to stereotype, and say there's a man who was raised that he's not supposed to have emotions. Or if he's emotional, it's weak. Or it's girlish. Or it's not very masculine and tough. So he, if we stereotype, might be in his subconscious mind as a child, programmed that he's not supposed to be emotions, he's not supposed to think about emotions, he's not supposed to be emotional.

You can see how there would be an issue when one person's trying to talk about their emotions and the other person is programmed from a young age to be emotional. Not to dive into emotions, not to talk about them because it's not masculine. Now, of course, they may consciously want to have that conversation, but there could be a disconnect for that very reason, because it's in their subconscious mind.

In fact, I have worked with several men who have had patterns that were very counterintuitive, such as a pattern of anger, because as a child, they may have felt like they were caught, like. very sensitive. So they would get their feelings hurt and they would cry. And as a little boy, they would get their feelings hurt and they would cry.

And then they were told that, Oh, they're just a, uh, a baby or a little girl or whatever it was that felt insulting at the time. So then instead they got used to getting themselves into anger. So they didn't feel the hurt. They would just try to get themselves angry. And so they have these patterns so they don't feel embarrassed by hurt.

And so my point is, there can be layers even. So when we stop and think about it for a moment, if somebody and anybody, and I know I put this in man and woman and stereotype it, but this could be woman and woman or man, like man, anybody, any two people, if one person feels a feeling, you know, like, that they want to talk about their feelings and be understood.

And another person has subconscious feelings of feeling triggered by it, or they're not supposed to be emotional. Or as soon as they hear the other person expressing their feelings, they feel criticized or not good enough. It's like each person can be triggered and that's something we really need to be aware of.

So that's one thing. And another thing is, as I was saying, you know, putting information in technical information or, or scientific or, you know, Simple, or whatnot, speaking each other's language is so helpful. And so one person might speak in emotions, and another person might say, well, you know, maybe they have a completely different analytical way of thinking about it.

And if you think, if you really look at the big picture, that's something that I always do. On all the podcast episodes or even in my book is exactly that. You'll hear me say all of the time, you know, that maybe unfortunately a woman has an abusive father and leaves him and finds the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, et cetera, those patterns.

Unfortunately, and if that pattern continues, you know, where she ends up with the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, we could refer to it as repetition compulsion or reenactments. You know, we can look at psychology or Freud's work, psychoanalysis. And so we can see that that's there, or we could look at attachment theory or we could call it law of attraction.

You know, whatever you want to call it, we can see patterns breed more of the same. And notice how I just put that in several different languages. Law of attraction, attachment theory, repetition, compulsion, reenactments, whatever you want to call it, or just simply patterns breed more of the same. So whatever we want to call it or name it, we can see that there's a lot of different languages to say the same thing.

And that is something that's really helped me to bring people together, also to help people to get results. And And also, I can tell you what has been one of the beautiful things about, even with my book, it coming out, it grounds the information so it is both spiritual and it is also scientific. So you can understand the logic and the spirituality and, you know, it brings everything together.

Even it says, you know, the Bible, you know, a merry heart is a medicine to the body. Ill thoughts will dry the bones. That's written thousands of years ago. Because I wanted to bring in every walk of life and say, Hey, no matter what language you speak, let's, let's look at where this, you know, the intersection of the language that we speak, because then we can communicate, then we can understand one another.

And so what I would say is in your relationship, if you're feeling that disconnect, Then that feeling, like, then maybe understanding what language does your partner speak and can you speak their language? And by the way, just on a beautiful note, I literally wrote my book in that way. So different. So it was.

Inclusive, you know, scientific and spiritual and understanding how they all come together. And I wrote it in that way. And one of the beautiful things that I have seen back to back to back is people writing and saying, you know, Oh my gosh, my husband, I had him read your book because I loved it. And it's, and I feel like he could finally get it.

And he does. And we're so much closer and loving, or, you know, in some cases, husband, partner, spouse, wife. It's Significant other, whatever you want to call it. But one of the things that I'm loving about it is it is bringing people together in a beautiful way. And so if you've been feeling alone in, in your path, I would say thinking about it in an open way and being willing to communicate and connect.

in other people's languages also is just really powerful. So I would say that, and I would also say that sometimes what happens is people might say, well, you know, they're just only going to put it in spiritual or consciousness and et cetera. And they. May look down on their partner and say, well, you don't understand.

And so making sure not to look down on other people also is, is of course key. And so just food for thought on that, just because again, it is a question that comes up all of the time and also number two, because. The beautiful thing is, is since my book has come out, I've, it just keeps happening over and over where I see that happen.

And by the way, on that note, um, yes, if, um, if your spouse is open to it, definitely have them read my book because it helps to bridge that exact thing. Spirituality, Expansion of the mind and also grounded research so you can connect the dots. And so I love that. Now, expanding on this even more, so we talked about, um, I wanted to mention a simple thing that you could do regarding children as well because this is something that I get over and over again.

And I would say if I were going to name just two Quick things, I would say one, making sure not to feel guilty over and over for things. You know, guilty for not being, not like doing this or not, like, figure out, because I see all of the time people, they get stuck in this pattern of guilt. They feel like they're not there enough.

They're not there enough. And they suppress it. And they feel like they're not. And so what I would say is this, is decide what enough is. and calendar it because what I've seen time and time again is it's never enough. Even if somebody does this much, then they feel like they should have done this much.

If they did this much, they should have done this much. Like it's just, you know, it's like if they do level X amount of hours, they feel like they should have done more. It just never feels like enough. But when you can calendar it and say, look, this is how much I feel like is the right amount, That's powerful.

And part of the reason that's also powerful is this, is that sometimes kids are like that. They want more and more and more and more, and what they want isn't always the most healthy choice. I mean, let's be honest. A kid might, a child might choose that they want to have ice cream for breakfast. That is not always the wisest choice.

And so, um, or the, you know, so, so we can see that there can be Choices that children make that aren't always the best, or even some children would love to have their parents around 24 7. And, let's be honest, they're probably not going to grow and become independent and learn relationship skills with other children, or, you know, how to think for themselves and, and do that.

So, So that's what I would say is make sure not to feel guilty and decide how much time you feel is the right amount and do that. Because, I mean, when we stop and think about research for a moment, there are studies that show that children who actually have parents and mothers who are working can actually be more well adjusted, happier, um, and also more successful in life.

Why? Because they're not necessarily maybe as codependent. Maybe that's part of it, but it was, you know, about being more independent, being able to think for themselves, um, even having more, you know, more growth and for that very reason. And I know for me personally, growing up, it was great to have my mother working.

and also to get time with her, like that feeling. And I think that I've worked with people time and time again where, you know, if the child has too, too, too, too much, they may not grow enough unless somebody is very conscious of that. So my point is just simply decide what is the right amount, because I can't tell you how often I've seen the best of parents who have great intentions, who are guilty, and feeling guilty all of the time because they never feel like they do enough.

And so deciding what that is, and then also realizing that it can be multitasking, like cooking together. If you cook together, and even if you have multiple children, then maybe Tuesday night is one kid's night to cook with mom and, or dad, and maybe Wednesday night is a different child's turn to cook, and, and cooking, and making it fun.

So it doesn't have to be like, you know, time away from responsibility. It could be time teaching them responsibility and skills that can help them for the lifetime. So there's a lot of different ways, but just taking from that the feeling and the awareness of not feeling guilty constantly, because so often I see that and it's not good for, of course, your health, if you're a parent, and it's not good for the children to then experience that and, and feel that all the time, but instead having that, that feeling.

So. That structure to not have to feel guilty. So that is a simple thing you can do. Also, another quick note is that, you know, we've heard all the time that if a child doesn't get positive attention, they can get negative attention. And sometimes if we're really busy, then you might find yourself. You know, not, not showing up, like not giving them positive attention, but then when they need you for something, then giving them attention only when they need you for a problem, for a hardship, for a injury, for a, whatever it is, which doesn't create positive connections regarding attention.

So I would say that's the other thing is, is just thinking about consciously and proactively. What? What would I like to give my child attention for? And asking yourself that. Is it, is it their, you know, just being loving, or every time they're loving, say, oh my gosh you're so loving. Just being loving. Um, or, you know, giving them a, and write down a few things.

Giving them attention for their grades, or doing a good job. So taking a point, making a point to say, hey, you know. Great job being smart and, you know, and, and acknowledging that. So whatever it is that you want to give them attention for doing that, but in a proactive way regularly, so they feel like they're getting that acknowledgement, that attention in positive ways, because what happens is conversely, of course, If they're not getting positive attention, that's when things can go sideways.

You know, the subconscious mind can look for negative ways to get attention, which could be hurt or sympathy or illness or problems or acting out or whatever it is. And so being proactive is really, really powerful. And by the way, um, you know, even as I talk about in my book, I actually give an example of a child who's in fear of being hurt.

A lot and he's in fear and that actually creates more and more illness and can be linked to illness and and whatnot. So of course Creating a feeling where they feel safe as well. So, um that can depend on any circumstance So, uh, but that's of course another key to a healthy happy child All right So those are the insights some key takeaways that I want to invite you to look at by the way I have to say real quick on a quick note Amazon.

If you, if you shop on Amazon regularly. So they notified my publisher, uh, that my book got chosen to be the daily deal. So I don't know if you know what that is or not, but basically, a long story short, Amazon will pick things that become the daily deal that for 24 hours, it gets reduced pricing. So for whatever reason, they picked my book and everybody's always asking, you know, how do you get on that list?

And I would say, consciously, I don't know. I would assume it's because it has great reviews, which I have you guys to thank for that. So thank you so, so, so much. And I know so many of you have already messaged in saying how much it has changed your life. And I can't tell you how much it just touches my heart.

my heart so much. You know, when we stop and think about it, this information is written throughout history of healing with the mind. And it is my biggest, biggest, biggest hope that it's our generation. It's this time that we make it a reality. And that's why I'm so, you know, just dedicated to showing results and sharing this information on how to get Radical results, and just the fact that you guys have left comments, but also that you're following through and getting results.

And just every single time I read the reviews of what you're doing and being and the changes that you're making, it just touches my heart. So, I just want to say thank you so much for your support. It really, really does mean the world to me, so I love that, and thank you, and I'm sure that's part of the reason that it is being chosen, which is really great.

I feel very grateful, and of course, I would say the other reason is just that it's been You know, the fact that our life, our world is waking up to this new awareness and just the information is expanding and growing. And I just love that as well. So thank you. Universe, of course, just beautiful. I love that.

And that of course is very exciting. And so the long and short is basically for the 25th for 24 hours. My book on Kindle will, is going to be just 1. 99. It is the special daily deal. So if you want the discounted book, uh, you could also get it for 24 hours at a discounted price. And then of course it's still, um, great anytime other than that as well.

Um, but just wanted to let you know, if you are wanting to, you know, um, grab it, definitely do. And of course, please. Hit the share button and share this with people that you love, people that you don't know. You know, when we stop and think about it for a moment, the more that every single person in our world is happy and healthy and loved and loving and flourishing.

The better this world is for all of us. I mean, if we looked around and everybody was flourishing and happy and healthy and loved and loving, I mean, this world would just be more and more and more incredible. And it is, it's already beautiful. And just the consciousness, the awakening that's happening is incredible.

And so on that note, please do hit the share button. And if you know somebody who has been working on the journey and is really in need, please do share the insight. Um, and, uh, help them, nudge them to get a copy. And on that note, I wish you a most wonderful, fantastic, loving rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next video.

for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point, and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results.

But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind. Thank you.

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Also, please remember that genuine change and follow through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor.

Instead, your goal with self-healing should be to continue to see your doctor as recommended and blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind and with the power of mind-body healing.  Please enjoy this self-healing podcast!

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