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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health yourself and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are somebody who is here, who's continuing to expand your mind and your heart, your energy, your healing. I just love it. And I just love today's episode. I mean, it's just perfect divine timing as they always seem to be. You know, we've been talking on the past episodes about relationships recently, and it's so funny and just divine timing.

And what I also love, I mean, just so many things. I mean, first and foremost, Our volunteer today, his name is Kim and he is just so genuine and honest and transparent with how he's feeling. And what I love is that he has a different perspective of what he's experiencing in his relationship that I really just know that a lot of people are going to connect with either one way or another.

Either, maybe you have been experiencing this in your life. Or maybe you've experienced it in the past, or maybe you've been the other side of the coin to this very situation that we're going to be talking about today. So, you know, it really has to do with relationships and of course how relationships or things that are going on in relationships, you know, a lot of emotions.

regarding relationships can unfortunately impact your health in a negative way, of course, as well. And so that's where we're going today. And by the way, on a side note, really quickly before we dive in, you know, I have to say all of the time, when I see people who really transform themselves, you know, and their health, you know, when I see people who make that real change, All of the time.

It really does change their relationships in one way or another, you know? And so I just love this episode for so many reasons and so on that note Let's go ahead and dive in with our volunteer today. His name is Kim. Here we go

Hello Hello. Hi. Is this Kim? Yes. This is Kim. Hi, Kim. It is wonderful to connect with you. And the same here. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Wow. I love that. I love that. And, um, and I know you had to fill out a form to come in, but I have not read it. Um, what can I help you with? Well, I have emphysema and I'm on oxygen and I just want to get rid of the emphysema and get off oxygen so I can enjoy life again, if possible.

That sounds like a great plan. I, I like your plan. I'm, I'm on board with it. Um, it's, it's a great plan. So if I ask you, um, and by the way, how long have you been on oxygen? Um, two, almost two years. Okay. And, uh, bingo. There we go. There we go. All right. So if I ask you, um, as far as when you try to take a really deep breath, how does it feel to you?

Tight. And if 10, how tight would you say? About a 10. About a 10. Okay. And, um, all right. So we're going to dive in. Sound good? Sounds good to me. I like that. I like that. All right. So here we go. And, uh, bingo. Okay. So, uh, so there's this feeling in your energy. So here we go. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And I'm going to ask you, by the way, before we dive in. Okay. Real quick. If we're working on emotions. And energy and different things that come up and if you judge, and if you judge them, is that helpful? If I judge them. If you judge them, if you judge yourself, if you feel bad about anything. No. Not helpful.

Not helpful. No. So if somebody, let's say I'm working with somebody and there's an emotion that we're talking about and then they feel bad about the emotion that we're talking about. Can you see how instead of solving the problem, they're adding layers to that problem? Can you see that? Right? Right. Yes, and I've done that.

Yeah, that's, that would be, that would be why we're talking about that. I figured. So, I was going to talk about what we needed to talk about, but this is what happens. When I looked at your energy about what we needed to talk about, I immediately saw you doing exactly that. You're good.

So, uh, so here we go. So, thank you. And someone asked you to breathe. And we're going to talk about some things. Okay. And kind of like this, let's say that I was going to talk to somebody about some emotions that came up for them, and as soon as we were going to talk about that, they immediately start punching themselves in the face.

How productive do you think our conversation is going to be? Not very, not very long. Not very, not very long. No. So I'm going to ask you to not berate yourself, or feel bad, or criticize yourself, because it will be absolutely unproductive. Okay. That make sense? It makes sense. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I'm going to ask you if you're willing to be kind and supportive and loving to yourself.

I am. Really? Yes. Really? Convince me. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. You really, really, really, really are. I really want to support myself. Be kind to myself. So you're going to do things differently than you would have in the past. Yes. 100%. 100 percent going to do. Promise. Differently. I promise. Okay, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

And if I ask you, by the way, 0 to 10, what's your level of tightness? Still about a 10. Bingo. And here we go. So I'm going to ask you to notice the part of you that has had some.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a really quick moment. You know, I want you to notice really quickly what I did with him. You know, I noticed as I was starting to go into and feel into his energy and I was looking, you know, at where I wanted to go to help him to create this shift. So as I was, you know, feeling into it.

One of the things that came up was just that he had been very hard on himself and critical of himself for any of these patterns. And when I say very, I mean just extremely. And that's where, you know, even when I mentioned, Hey, you know, this feeling of being hard on yourself and he's like, yeah, I've done that before, you know?

And so very much so. I mean, it was just very strong in his energy. And if you stop and think about it for a moment, this, of course, is something that's going to be important. before diving in. Because imagine for a moment, if we went right into that negative pattern that he had, and we went right into it, and immediately he's feeling horrible and bad and critical of himself and punishing himself for it.

Well, that would be very counterproductive because there's no way he'd be able to address the real emotion that's going on because of all of those emotions he has around it. Not only that, but because Knowing that the emotional links that we're headed for, you know, that we're, we're going to work with are connected to his health.

The last thing that he wants to do is, of course, make them worse, you know, add more negativity or more charge. To the links that we're going to be working on and so that's the reason that as soon as I went to step in and Work with him. I was like, you know what? We need to work on this first Before we even start to talk about that specific pattern and you know, just very very Important in his case and so point being is that if that is you and you're somebody who is Extremely critical and hard on yourself or just gonna be berate yourself, then make sure to really wholeheartedly transform those patterns before going so much into the negative.

Because I can tell you, literally all of the time I see people who are on this self help, self healing type of journey, and they're like, And, most of the time, people don't realize that they're accidentally creating more negativity at a deeper level in the subconscious, and which can link to more issues, and etc.,

etc. So, they're kind of creating more problems, but then simultaneously just trying to be optimistic and positive, and so it's, you know, it's not going to really take them in the direction of getting real results. And so I just wanted to note that really quickly, that if that is you, you'll definitely want to make sure to address it.

And if you are somebody who's ever been into any one of my classes, then you know, that feeling like a good person and feeling good towards self and all of those things are key patterns that really need to be changed in the subconscious mind. So making sure to address those. is important and can definitely be an important piece to the puzzle.

And so that said, if you are somebody who has this, you'll definitely want to transform it. All right. So that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with Kim. Here we go.

So I'm going to ask you to notice the part of you that has had some. rage and kind of some upset in the past where you wanted to just, uh, yell at people. Can you see that? Oh, definitely. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I want you to picture that you're 90 years old and you still have that energy and that feeling and that desire to yell at people and be really, really, really upset and all of that.

And, uh, how does it go? Terrible. It's not something that I want to do. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you If you look at how, if you look at, if I ask you zero to ten, how much would you say that relationships in your life have felt a bit combative? How much would you say that is?

About, uh, eight. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And if I ask you, do you think that beating yourself up is going to help on top of that? No. No. Definitely not. Definitely not. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And again, just remind you that you don't want to beat yourself up at all.

Okay. Now is the time to lovingly support yourself, right? Correct, yep. To lovingly support yourself, right? Right. Great, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice that. Bingo. I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And I'm gonna ask you to notice that part inside of you who's wanted to feel like, who's had that feeling of wanting to yell at people and get really upset and all of that.

I'm gonna ask you just for a moment, are you really willing to let it go? 100%. What's that? 100%. Let it go. 100%. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And I'm gonna ask you what it would feel like to have it let go 100%. Like really 100%. You've really let it go. One hundred percent. That'd be awesome. Great. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment, what else would it feel like?

It'd feel a lot calmer. Beautiful. Um, I'd have a better relationship. Bingo. Better relationship. Now, if I ask you just for a moment, if I ask you zero to ten, how much you can find that balance? Part of you that has had a desire to be right about things. Oh, ten. Ten, right? Oh yeah. Hundred, maybe. I love you.

You're great. Great. You're on the same page here. Yep. Great, great. Self awareness. Beautiful. And so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

I'm going to ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you, bingo, I'm going to ask you what it looks like to look around in the world and see everybody with their own beliefs and their own culture and their own this and it's like everybody, like, if I ask you, um, have you traveled the world much? Not the world, but Around, you know, different cultures.

Uh, yes. Okay. And if I ask you like, okay, so let's, if we think about like Bali, or if we think about, you know, the Amazon, or you think about, you know, different cultures and stuff like that, do you find the difference in the different cultures? Do you find it fascinating? Yes, I do. So, in a major contrast, you can see how, how cool it is, how fascinating it is to see that, oh, there's this different culture and this different culture, right?

Correct. Yep. Great. So that's on a macro level. And so if you think about it like in a smaller level, about how just people have different views and different beliefs and, and all of that, right? And just kind of finding it interesting, finding it interesting and fascinating,

finding it. Interesting and fascinating. Now imagine for a moment, if you had part of inside of you that was like, Oh my God, everybody in the Amazon, I'm going to go tell them how to live their tribe differently and everybody in Bali and notice, Oh, it's just kind of nice that they're being themselves and we don't have any desire to need to change them.

They can, we can, they can just be themselves. Right. And, and I love Bali by the way, it's beautiful, but I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and. I'm going to ask you to think about that feeling that you have with other cultures, how it's fun and fascinating and it's different. And there's a part of you that kind of likes that difference in that uniqueness, right?

Right. Right. And if you could look even within the country you're in and see that uniqueness and that difference. And instead of needing to be right over anybody.

Kind of just letting everybody be themselves.

Alright, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I have to say I just love his heart and his honesty and sincerity and You know, obviously he does. He's got some patterns going on and he's just a sweetheart. And so I just love that. And I wanted to just go ahead and pause it for a moment because all too often I see people kind of doing the exact same thing that he's doing where they're just wanting to be right and trying to convince others that they are right and make others wrong.

And it's destroying their relationships and they don't. necessarily realize it because they get so caught up in being right. And so there's a few things that I want to unpack here. And first and foremost, it's this, it's that, you know, imagine if I have a friend who's in New York and I'm here in sunny, Southern California, and my friend says, gosh, it's snowing outside.

And I say, no, it's not. It's sunny. And she says, no, it's snowing. And I said, no, no, no, it's sunny. Now, which of us is going to be right? Well, obviously we both are, you know, assuming that it is actually snowing in New York, then, you know, obviously we're both right. We're just in two different places and sharing our experience.

And so all of the time people will see things in a different way because they have a different level of consciousness. And so both people can have a truth, or what feels like it's true to them, in the snow. their situation. And, and so what can happen is people will just argue information back and forth to try to be right, or to try to make others wrong.

And instead of just being interested about how the other person is experiencing life and, and what they're experiencing and just relating and understanding and sharing, you know, and that's what can be really beautiful in a relationship is not needing to be right, But allowing both people to have their own expression of self and experience and, you know, sharing that and, you know, another example, probably even better than New York to California would even be an example.

You know, you've heard before that if you start thinking about buying a certain car or something like that, you can start seeing it show up everywhere. Maybe you've done this before in your life where you start to think about, Oh, well, I want to buy this or that. You start noticing that car showing up or even you start dating somebody or your spouse buys a different car or whatnot and suddenly you start seeing it everywhere.

Now, when you stop and think about it, if somebody was like, oh, well, I see black BMWs everywhere and somebody was like, what are you talking about? No, no, no. The car that I see everywhere is a red Honda everywhere. Or I see white BMWs everywhere. Range Rovers everywhere, whatever vehicle it is. But point being is that our brains are constantly filtering different information.

And so we all see different things and a lot of times people will feel so strong in their beliefs And wanting to be right that they end up damaging the relationship or the connection that they have with others. Now, of course, it's one thing if somebody's asking and they're wanting the information and they're saying, Okay, well, tell me about this.

Tell me about that. And, and you're telling them, you know, obviously I teach people how to think in a new way and heal themselves and, you know, share my discoveries. all of the time with people, but I teach it to people who are ready for one reason or another to receive the information. And let's be honest, there are a lot of people who aren't yet ready to receive the information, but As they start to be exposed to it and whatnot, they'll, they'll start to show up in one way or another.

Maybe their family's into it, maybe a friend's in it, you know, it's spreading in a beautiful way, but that's what I have to say. Also, why at the very beginning of almost every episode, I always say, you know, I really love that you are somebody who's here, who's expanding your mind and your energy and your consciousness and your healing and you know, all of that, because I really do.

Love that you are somebody who is here at this level of life, of awareness, of growth, of expansion, of just, I just think it's beautiful and amazing and I have so much respect for it. And, on that note, we are gonna dive back in, but just point being is that you'll want to notice if you're You're doing this in your relationships at all.

And look at maybe doing it a different way where you're not trying to force others or convince others, but you're just willing to allow each person to have their own awareness. It makes for a beautiful, relationships where you can equally respect each other and of course create even more love in your relationship, which is exactly where we're going as we dive back in with Kim.

Here we go.

What would that look like? Oh, it'd be, it'd be great, but I, uh, I seem to have a problem with, um, wanting more attention from my wife and I get angry And, you know, and I know when I'm, you know, when I'm getting angry, I'm getting angry and I want to stop it and I stop it, then it starts all over again. And even though I go into, you know, the positivity thing and I look at my life.

I hear you. And I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to just for a moment, I'm going to take you in a different direction. I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And by the way, if I ask you how often you would say that you make her feel like she's wrong. Oh, just about every other day. Okay. So awesome. So now I want you to picture that there's somebody. That makes you feel like you're wrong every other day zero to ten. How excited are you to hang out with that person?

Well, that would not be exciting at all. That'd be a ten. I would not want to do it. Exactly So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe and now I want you to picture that every time you hang out with this person that instead They make you feel good and loved and acknowledged. And if I ask you how often you'd want to hang out with that person now?

Oh, no. Uh, all the time. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you to think about your wife and I'm going to ask you, what would make her want to spend even more time with you? What would make her want to spend even more time with you? Uh, well, certainly by not having me cause arguments.

Okay. Great. Or get mad at her. Uh huh. And get mad at her or make her wrong. Sure. Okay. Uh huh. Okay. So that's, absolutely. And if I ask you how often when she's around you, she feels like she's being loved and acknowledged and she feels special and she feels heard. How often would you say that is? Lately, probably about 20%.

Okay. And uh, and uh, if I ask you, so notice, and by the way, that's probably a bit of an improvement where it was. Right. So, uh, someone asked you to breathe. Bingo.

Bingo. And, uh, bingo. And if I ask you how often she feels wrong and criticized and, uh, like she's not doing something right or not doing good enough or not doing this or not doing that or an argument or this or that, zero to ten, how often would you say that happens? Eight. Okay, so, um, I would have given it a little higher of a number, but we'll go with your eight.

Um, and if I ask you just for a moment, you want more love from her, right? Absolutely. Okay, so what would happen if you had a heart to heart conversation with her? That said, and you said something like, you know, what I'm really been wanting is more love and more connection and the way I've been going about it by doing, by creating fights or, or making you wrong or, or making you feel like you're not, you know, doing this or that, or I realized the way that I'm going around about it.

Um, bingo. Isn't, uh, bingo, isn't the best way. What would happen?

Oh boy, um,

she'd, she'd probably understand that, and, but not wanting me to get angry, obviously, but, um.

Okay, so, I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and instead, what if, what Even, let's say for the next week, you made a point for her to feel good and not creating any arguments at all, but you really made a point that she felt good and she felt acknowledged and special and that it felt more fun to connect. What would that even look like in your relationship?

Oh, that'd be awesome. And you know, I've, I've actually, I've done that. And it seems when I get into a breathing issue where I struggle, you know, because, because with this disease, you have, uh, he bouts, Where he can't breathe. Mm hmm. And might last 20 minutes, it might last an hour. Mm hmm. But it's right then and there when I'll look at her and she'll ignore me knowing that I have this and I know what she's Doing she doesn't want to you know Kind of bring attention to it and she doesn't want her to play the sympathy end of it either, you know So if that's where I'm at, I just look at her and I figure out why aren't you paying attention to me?

All right, so So real quick, bingo, bingo. So notice what you just said for a moment is notice you just said, but when I can't breathe, I need her to pay attention to me. Right? Right. And notice, what was I saying before that? I was saying, how can you create more fun and connect with her through fun ways and connection?

Correct. And so, What I want you to notice is you have a rule and a belief inside of you that says, you shall pay attention to me. You have to give me love. And especially if I'm sick, you have to give me love. Yes. And I don't want that. But totally. But notice the part, the, the part inside of you that says, I'm going to be fun and you're going to want to connect with me and you're going to feel good around me and we're going to have a great time together and I'm purposely going to be fun and charming and create fun.

Notice that part is missing. Yes. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it right here. You know, first and foremost, I just, again, love his self honesty and self awareness. And I really want to pause it here because I want to invite you to look at this in your life. You know, maybe You've been doing this very thing where you're wanting more love from somebody and you're wanting it But you're doing it in a way that's making them want to run away from you, you know Or maybe you're on the other end of it where there's somebody who's Trying to get your love and it's driving you crazy because they're feeling a bit clingy or needy or feeling like they're suffocating you or You know, always making you wrong and yet wanting you to connect and be in love.

And so maybe this is something that is going on in an area of your life, maybe with a spouse or partner, maybe with a child or sibling or mother or friend or whomever, but what I want to invite you to do is just kind of look at. This pattern, you know, and, and I want you to look through a lens of absolute compassion.

You know, when you think about it for a moment, this wonderful man clearly loves his wife so much and wants attention from her and wants love from her. So he just, he wants to connect and wants that from her and simultaneously has patterns of sabotaging it. And these patterns are are literally pushing it away.

It's like, imagine if you were running after a ball, and everything that you wanted in life was a ball, and right in front of you was a stick pushing it away from you. And so you're like, running towards the ball, and then pushing the stick, you know, pushing the ball away at the same time, and running towards it, and pushing away.

It's like, always out of reach, because you can't fully push it away. feel it because of that sabotage pattern, continuing to, to mess it up and to push it away from you. And so I want to invite you to look at this from a place of, you know, being able to look from the outside in, and it's like, you can see.

the pattern so clearly now that, you know, I'm discussing it with him. You can see it so clearly from the outside in. And I want you to think about that for a moment and maybe reflect, if there's an area of life that you feel like You may be able to show up even better than you are and and may be able to Transform and take to the next level.

Now, that doesn't mean you necessarily have the same patterns as he does going on You know, obviously with his patterns, they're very connected with his health These are running very deep and there's some other things also that we're gonna talk about that are also connected So we're gonna go ahead and continue the rest of this session On next week's episode.

So we'll actually dive in even more to his breathing. And if you recall, he had pressure when trying to breathe at a level 10. And so that's what we're going to be working on is really shifting that and bringing in other pieces that are going on as well, but because this is so important, I wanted to go ahead and just pause it right here and invite you to look at this in your life, because sometimes what happens is people will have this type of pattern where the very thing that they're wanting, they're pushing away in people.

So that may be something you may relate to or of course being on the other side of the coin where you feel like you're being pushed away and yet trying to love the person and that creates, you know, a very hard situation because you love them but then you feel suffocated. I mean that whole dynamic, um, it feels like a lot and it feels stuck and then it's hard because you love somebody so much.

And it doesn't allow you to be who you want to be, and it also doesn't feel good. You know, you'll always feel crushed or smothered, so that could be something. Or, even if you are somebody just maybe in your relationships, another thing that I'll see all of the time, is people just kind of get into a habit of flow.

being around those that they love, you know, whether it's their spouse or friends, family, whomever it is that they forget to make a point to really make that person feel loved and cared for and special and wonderful. And so I want to invite you no matter where you are in your life to see if you can just integrate a bit of this into your life where you're, you're infusing more love and connection and adoration into a relationship in your life.

So that's the invitation that I want to leave you with. And of course, again, there's just so much from this that I want to invite you to just take a moment and see if there's a place that this is showing up in your life. And so that said, also, I want to invite you to please do make sure to hit the share button, you know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't care about.

Even know the more we can spread love and happiness and positivity The better this world will be for all of us And so please do hit the share button and make it a point to have a fantastic day Spread love spread joy smile Love it to its fullest and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

We'll see you there

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself Change. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your [00:34:00] mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website brandygilmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.