IQ-138 Transcript: Why Can It Feel So Hard to Release Trauma?

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore. And after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use. to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello, and welcome to this week's quick IQ episode, where we talk about insights and questions. And today I want to share with you a question that I get so often that we are going to simplify and add clarity to. However, it's a bit of a complex question and the question is this. It's basically, you know, why does it feel so hard to get rid of traumas or why can there be so many layers to traumas?

And if we're just going to start by simplifying it, I would say this, I would say because So often people will add stories that then only further hold onto the trauma or even make it grow or grow in a different direction or amplify different emotions that just continue to keep it stuck. Now I say stories, and in some cases, these stories are just stories inside a person's head of what they're telling themselves about the situation.

Or, in some cases, this could be a story to a spouse or a loved one or friends and family or a frustration that people tell to their coworkers or this, that, the other. I mean, these stories that you tell yourself really can impact you. And so that's what we're really going to be unpacking and simplifying is how these stories inside your head can then add layers upon layers that can keep you stuck.

Now, to start with a simple example. that have perceived benefits. Now, let me unpack this with a simple example to give you an illustration. Okay. So there was this doctor in one of my classes who I worked with recently, and he's had this ongoing anger towards the medical community, and also this feeling of judgment and criticism that he couldn't seem to get rid of, and of course.

It was affecting him, his happiness, his level of personal growth. And so he asked that very question, you know, why is it that I can't seem to get rid of this anger or frustration and judgment towards the medical community? Because there were these underlying feelings. Now, the problem underneath is that this man just had a huge heart, which of course is not the problem, but let me explain further.

So he is this, just this beautiful, beautiful being who has a really good heart, who really had and has a genuine desire to help people. And he's just this kind person. And he had been a pediatrician for many, many years. And he started to see the effects of some of the Prescription medication and the types of treatment.

And he started to see that, you know, putting children on a ton of medication was not a great idea. And what ultimately happened is because he had all of these underlying feelings of guilt, of feeling like he was part of that. And he felt all these feelings of just guilt, which then also led him to feel like he was betrayed and like a victim.

To the medical system. So what happened is he had all of these underlying feelings of guilt, a feeling like he did something wrong. And so he built up this feeling that if he spoke poorly about the medical system, it made him feel better. So when he said, okay, well, they're doing this and, and this is the problem with the medical system.

And this is the problem with the medical system. So as he's speaking out against it, he felt good about himself. He felt better. He felt a sense of relief from his own guilt, even though. He didn't consciously realize it. Instead, he felt like, you know, the medical community is doing this and doing that. And so it was like this feeling of, of relief from his own feelings.

Now, the thing of it is, and this is the tricky part, is if he stopped blaming them, if he stopped speaking poorly, if he stopped the anger and he stopped the criticism. So if he got rid of that completely, then what happens? Well, if he gets rid of that, then the only thing left are his feelings of guilt and feeling like he did wrong and it was his fault and blah, blah, blah.

So he had those underlying feelings. So in other words, he couldn't get rid of the top layer because the bottom layer was there. To put this in another example, let's say that, you know, somebody hurts somebody else and they feel bad about it. And their first response is, but they hurt me first. They did it first.

It's like this defense from feeling blamed or this defense from feeling guilty or from feeling badly. And so where we're going with this is a few places is first and foremost, sometimes we feel like we can't get rid of emotions because it's really quote unquote, protecting us or hiding other layers of emotions.

And so if I go back to the example of that doctor, he was struggling. He was feeling like, well, I can't get rid of this feeling of judgment towards them and anger towards them and blame towards them. And because every time he started to try to do that, he was only left with his own feelings of guilt and feeling bad.

So to genuinely heal this, that's what he had to also resolve. were his feelings of feeling guilty and bad. And like he did things to hurt others, which of course he didn't, it wasn't his fault, but genuinely resolving that was key because as he lets go of feelings of his own guilt, and he genuinely heals that and lets it go, then.

He doesn't have the need to blame or feel angry towards others. Instead, he's now free to be in a place of growth, of positivity. And so if we unpack this even further, again, I mentioned this is a bit complex. Like if you think about it for a moment, you know, in my own story where I say, look, I was a mess.

I was injured, wheelchair, walker, cane. I was an absolute mess. And my doctors, they tried everything they could and I don't blame them. And I don't have anger towards them and I don't criticize what they are doing because let me, do I think that the medical system is perfect right now? No, you know, it does need to evolve and to grow and to transform.

Absolutely. But I don't hold on to feelings of anger or righteousness or judgment or criticism about it. Instead, I want to move towards the solution of understanding that. Our healing in our mind does affect our physical body. And we're overlooking that part. And we really need to resolve that part. And our minds can hold the key to our body's healing itself.

And I don't do that from a place of anger or blame or resentment or victim. From the past, I do it from a place of feeling that, you know, I made some incredible discoveries that are really cool and incredible and exciting. And hey, let's embrace the change and we can all do this. And so it's a feeling of feeling positive and excitement.

And even if you think about it, I never go way deep into my injury of, Oh, I was a victim because of this or hurt because of this like, I don't. I don't do that. I've healed that. I've let it go. It's not even important. And so point being is that many times the reason that layers can feel so hard to get rid of is because there's something lurking underneath that genuinely needs to be healed.

And so what happens is that there's layers on top that we perceive are helping us. And by the way, this actually kind of goes really well together. With an episode, an IQ episode that I did just two weeks ago where we talked about sometimes the things that we perceive are good for us are not really good for us.

Meaning, you know, in that episode I used the unfortunate example of maybe somebody who's a cutter or into self harm who can cut themselves and experience feelings of relief or euphoria from cutting themselves. And of course, a person cutting themselves. It doesn't create real relief or safety or euphoria, but it gets linked up in the nervous system.

They can experience those feelings. And so then what happens is, you know, going back to this pediatrician and using his example, when he was speaking out against the medical community and blaming them and criticizing them, he perceived that to feel good. because it was giving him relief from his own hidden feelings of guilt because these were stored in his subconscious mind.

So he wasn't even consciously aware that he felt so much guilt deep down because These feelings of anger and blame and criticism and righteousness, even from the medical community, were on top of that. So he didn't even realize fully that he had so many feelings of guilt underneath. And so as a result, he really had this strong feeling that was healing for him because He perceived it to be that because it felt that way.

And so going back to the, again, that last episode that we did where just because something feels like it's healing doesn't always mean that it's genuinely healing. And so even in his case, genuine healing. For his emotional trauma and wounding really had to do with clearing his feelings of guilt and feeling bad and these, just these underlying feelings.

And so that's where the real change happened. Because by the way, when we stop and think about it for a moment, this perceived benefit of telling a story of blaming the medical community, being critical of them, being upset, feeling this anger. Made him what? Well, in his story, when you stop and think about it, if he's blaming and he's saying this had happened and that happened and blaming and upset, he had feelings of feeling like the victim.

Like the victim to this medical community, which by the way, then became a pattern in his life. So then he felt like a victim of this circumstance and that circumstance. And, and so technically what also happened is as he was blaming the medical community and speaking out with anger and upset and all of these things, you know, to people around him and whatnot, but as he was blaming them, he was simultaneously.

Feeling like a victim to this, which then attracted more and more victim circumstances in his life. So then he felt like a victim in his relationship, and he felt like a victim to his mother, and he felt like a victim to multiple different things in his life. because that pattern just continued to amplify.

And so that's another key piece that you'll want to note from this is that a lot of times the layers that we have can then further fuel other patterns. All right. So we started this out even saying, Hey, This topic is a bit complex. And as you can tell, it is a bit complex. And by the way, if you have been working on healing yourself or your emotional wounding or transforming your life, these types of things, and if you've, you've been doing the work, you know, that there can be layers and you know, it's complex.

So if it sounds complex, again, it is. And I didn't create it that way. Talk to universe, God, divine energy, uh, whatever you want to call it. I of course did not create it that way. However. I've been able to identify what is actually going on, of course, to get radical results. That's the reason that you'll see people, even on past episodes, where I take volunteers who are experiencing pain or ailments or all kinds of issues and help them to radically shift them is because I see the layers, I understand the layers.

And so I want to invite you to see how you can apply this to your life and some ways that you could look at applying this to your life is number one is notice if you're speaking out negatively towards anything or frustrated or angry or blaming anything, just know that in some way, unfortunately, It's fueling the problem.

And so you won't want to do that. Instead, being the solution, embodying the solution, and instead only speaking from a place of positivity. Now I can tell you this, as soon as I say those words, only speaking from a place of positivity, there are some people who would say, well, then you're not addressing the problem, or then you're just trying to live in a fantasy world.

But if you think about it for a moment. In my own life, I very kindly address the problem. I do say, Hey, I wasn't healing. I was injured. I was a mess. We really do need to change and evolve and transform. So I do speak to the problem, but not from a place of blame or anger or upset, but rather. Towards the solution.

So I'm not overlooking the problem. I'm not saying that there's not a problem there. I'm just not angry or upset or fueled or blaming or judging or criticizing or any of that. I don't have any of that because I healed my wounding. I let that go. Now, by the way, was there a time that I had that? Oh my gosh, very much so.

Absolutely. There was a time I was upset and furious and angry and violated and feeling taken advantage of by the medical community and all of these things and would have spoken out about allopathic medicine and pissed off and it harming people and blah, blah, I, I, yes, absolutely. Yes. And then I healed that because.

That was from a negative space and that's not really fair. I mean, it's very one sided. We could also look at the other side of allopathic medicine and say, does it help people from accidents, from stroke, from heart attack, from emergency situations, from all kinds of things. We could look at it from the other side and say, yes, it's true.

It does help people. Now, are there also a lot of chronic conditions and illness that's getting worse and worse? Absolutely. And so we can see that it's not perfect and we can see that there are massive problems and we can absolutely see that. And I think anybody can acknowledge and be honest about that.

Absolutely. And so it wouldn't be really fair for me to be very one sided about it and, and only speak to that because that's not true either. And that's the reality. And so that would be in not good integrity for me to speak angrily about something very one sided and not be in, you know, in full integrity to say the whole picture.

So that would be an issue. And of course it would breed further patterns in my life if I was speaking from that negative place, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So anyways, very simply, point being is that it's not about overlooking the negative, it's about genuinely. healing from it so you don't have the negative energy connected to it.

And so again, just going back to the awareness, this is a very complex topic. However, the question just comes up all of the time. And so I wanted to give this piece of information that could be helpful. And of course, as you continue to understand the mind, you realize there are also. other pieces to it as well.

However, I wanted to provide this piece just because this is very common and I'll see people all of the time who are stuck. So they have a perceived sense of relief or healing that then unfortunately is fueling a different pattern such as a victim pattern and this, that, the other. And so very simply, I want to invite you to look at this.

And if there is a part of you that is angry or upset or feeling victimized, I want to invite you to look under that and be honest and see what is really there and work to transform that because as you heal the core, that's when radical breakthroughs happen. That's when real healing happens. And by the way, I also want to invite you to notice if you have been frustrated with a part of your process where you say, Oh my God, there are layers.

That's the other. thing that you'll want to note is that many times part of the problem is that there's a perceived benefit from the layer of telling the story, feeling righteous, feeling like the good person, blaming others, having that relief that then keeps that layer on top stuck there. So you can't genuinely heal all of the way.

And by the way, as you really heal all of the way, that's when I see people's health, their happiness, their life, real, real tangible results happen. I would say, by the way, I would also say that's part of the reason that I got this gift that I have to be able to connect with people's energy is because I really healed the deeper, deeper, deeper things in my mind, in my emotions that were really going on at a core level, not just the surface stuff.

And that's what created such a radical change in my own life. It's because I work with the mind in a different way to really create those changes. And you know, just on that note, many times if you hear me working with a volunteer who I'm working with, with several different pieces to their mindset, what you may not see and may not realize is that I'm working many times even with layers.

So sometimes it's parallel and like a combination of emotions. And sometimes it's layers of emotions where I'm working with a top layer and then there's another one and another one. So there's other pieces beneath that. So again, It sounds a bit complex, and I know it is. And of course, as you understand the mind more and more, it does have its own logic.

There is a reason that I'm able to work with people back to back to back to back to back to show them how to get results, because there is really a logic. To the mind. And there's a logic to all of this, but just like understanding math or understanding calculus, there can be a certain level of complexity.

So it's just about understanding how it all works. So again, coming back to simplicity, very simply. If you're fueling a negative story anywhere in your life that feels like it's bringing you some type of relief or love or righteousness or connection or makes you feel like a good person or whatnot, likely there is wounding underneath that is in some way impacting you.

And when you genuinely shift that, it can be incredible. And so I just want to invite you not to fuel that, not to energize any of those things and not to get stuck there. Because so often people get stuck there and they think they're doing the right thing. So that's, that's kind of one of the huge breakthrough insights from this is so often people think they're doing the right thing.

I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say, well, the more I tell my story, I just feel better. I feel good. I feel like I'm doing something that's good from that. And I feel relief. I feel better. I feel like it's healing to tell my story. That is a sign that there's something else going on.

Notice for a moment, I skip over my story. I'm like, yeah, I was injured. Wheelchair, walker, cane. I was a mess. Let's talk about the solution. So what excites me is the solution. So I don't tell my story because I feel like it's relieving for me or feels good for me or feels healing to me. In fact, I prefer not to have to tell my story, but the reason I do is.

to inspire others. Like, Hey, I was a mess. You can do it too. So the reason I tell my story is not for me and not out of anger, not out of upset, not out of making myself feel better at all. I'd prefer to skip over it. In fact, sometimes even when I teach a class, I'll say, Hey, likely if you guys are here, you've already heard my story.

So let's skip over that. And long story short is I was a mess and you can do it too. If you haven't heard my story, you can check out my story. online or on my podcast or on my TEDx talk or, you know, in a variety of different places, but in short, and I just give like a short summary. In short, I was a mess.

And let's talk about what you can do, because again, that's what makes me feel good, the solution. What makes me feel good and excited are the discoveries and the solution and people getting results and people changing. That's what excites me. And. That's what I want to excite you in your life is getting results in your own life, making these changes, embodying them for you.

All right. So that's today's quick IQ episode. And I want to ask you to please do make a point to hit the share button. On this episode, you know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more people who are happy, who are healthy, who are healed, who are living fully, who are laughing, who are loving, the more that every single person gets to experience that for themselves and live that fully.

The better this world is for all of us. And so please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, happy, healthy, loving rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope, or touched their heart, or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about, or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore. com/podcast.

And, if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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