IQ-72 Transcript: A Simple Way To Start Transforming Relationship Patterns In Your Life

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Welcome to heal yourself, Change your life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life-changing injury it has become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life.

Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their minds. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your thoughts to help you heal your health yourself, and your life. Let's begin.

Hello, and welcome to this. Week's quick IQ episode, where we talk about insights and questions. And today I wanna share with you a very powerful insight regarding compassion and how it can be transformative or liberating, even when it comes to your own hurts and wounds, and creates some freedom for you.

In a few different ways. And so, you know, kind of a good way to start is if you recall, from our last episode, I was working with our beautiful volunteer, Sarah, and she was talking about some of the childhood trauma that she'd been through as far as having alcoholic parents and. We had talked about the awareness of having compassion, you know, just not wanting to have those patterns, meaning that when we stop and look around for a moment, everybody has different patterns that they're struggling with.

And even in the past, you know, a comment example that I've used is where I'll see, you know, maybe a. who has a pattern of feeling not good enough and insecure. And, for that reason, trying to feel like a perfectionist, you know, really trying to make everything perfect. And then she has a daughter and this daughter grows up feeling constantly criticized, feeling like my mom is so critical of every little thing.

And, and that's her pattern is that she's feeling criticized and criticized and criticized and. If you notice from this, both people have different patterns. You know, one is feeling not good enough and insecure and, trying to make everything perfect to be good enough. And the other one's feeling constantly criticized.

Now all the time, I work with people who have a lot of mixed feelings about their families, for this reason, you know, it's like we all come into this world and a lot of times the very patterns that we have going on. Originate with family members, you know, they started in childhood. And so for that reason, a lot of times people can have the most amount of conflict.

With their family members now on a positive side when you really look at the patterns that are going on with family members and you genuinely transform them, it obviously can offer a lot of profound healing and transformation. So that part of it is beautiful. But of course, when you're stuck in. It doesn't feel that great.

And all of the time I see people who are in that place, you know, just like this same example where a, a woman is, you know, feeling criticized and criticized all of the time. And all she wants is her mom's approval. She just like yearns for her mom's approval with something, or, you know, is frustrated about feeling constantly.

Then, of course on the other side, the mom is feeling like I just need to be perfect. I need to be good enough. You know, I need everybody around me. I need my daughter to be good enough. I need people to be good enough and feel that insecurity. And not only that but no matter how good people are around her, there's always something that she's going to feel embarrassed or not.

Good enough about. Now, if you think about the dynamics of this type of connection, It's painful, you know, and the one who's feeling criticized. Can feel criticized even when they're not being criticized. And so again, if you just notice these patterns, they can be very painful for both people. And when we look at families all of the time, there can be this exact thing going on, where there's some type of pattern that, that each person has, that triggers the other person.

And for that reason, It can feel hard to get out of it can feel impossible. It can feel frustrating, or they just avoid their family together. In this case, even if they're avoiding their family, that issue is still in their energy. And when it comes to health issues, I have worked with people who have had major health issues and they weren't even speaking to their families.

In fact, they hadn't been speaking to their family for many, many, many years. And yet the anger or the frustration or the hurt, or the pattern that they were holding onto towards their family was the very connector to their health. And so one thing that you're gonna wanna remember as we dive deeper into today's topic is that anytime you shift something, of course, it's great for you.

It's great for your energy. So in other words, I've had people who. Hold onto anger towards their family or upset or blame, and they wanna hold onto it. But of course, the person that it's hurting the most is. And so that's what I really wanna talk about in today's IQ episode is just really quick thinking about the awareness of compassion and building on this from the last episode, you know, if you can look at a pattern or a family member through a lens of compassion, of being more aware of their patterns that they might have going on, then that in itself, Can allow you to start freeing your own energy.

And, you know, if I use the same example of the perfectionist bomb, who's feeling insecure and not good enough. And that to her daughter, it's showing up as criticism, criticism, criticism, you know, if the daughter starts looking at it and says, you know what I realize. That's my mom's pattern. She just doesn't feel good enough.

She feels insecure and no matter what happens, it's not gonna look good enough. And so I don't have to take any of this on personally at all. And I can really have a huge sense of compassion because I wouldn't wanna feel that way on the. And, and really, really coming from that place of having so much compassion and notice, not criticism, not judgment, not superiority, not, you know, a passive-aggressive type of, oh, well, I just see she's just never gonna be happy.

And that's just how she is not like that. But instead, a feeling of looking at her and thinking, you know, that must suck. I wouldn't wanna have that pattern and be stuck in that mindset. And so noticing that. And then of course, when you can start noticing that about somebody else, you know, that may be triggering you and freeing yourself from that constant trigger, it can give you the space to really start working on you.

You know, using this same example, the person who's feeling criticized could really genuinely go into a state of saying, wait a sec, I don't have to take this personally anymore. Let me stop feeling that hurt. Let me stop feeling triggered by this. And instead, let me start addressing the emotion for myself.

And so that's what I wanna invite you to look at in your life is if there is a trigger that's happening on a consistent basis, maybe it's with a spouse, maybe a loved one, maybe a child, maybe your family members and notice. If there is some type of repeated trigger and see if you can observe their pattern and what is going on in their world, not so you can judge it not so you can criticize it, or make them wrong, but then instead, so you don't have to take it personally and you can get clarity on what your own pattern is because, you know, using this same example, This woman with criticism, you know, feeling criticism and feeling like her mom was this perfectionist who was always critical and, you know, and feeling not good enough.

And all these things in this case, my client was the daughter was the one who was feeling criticized all of the time. And she couldn't even see her pattern in it because she was triggered all the time. She's just like this hurts, you know, my mom's always criticizing me and always criticizing me. And she was constantly being.

And when she started to realize her mom's pattern, she didn't have to take it personally, but that of course wasn't the end of the transformation. So, you know, once you don't take things personally, you also, of course, wanna make sure it doesn't happen elsewhere. You know, because all the time people do that exact thing constantly.

I've seen people, who they have some type of hurt or wounded pattern. They go to fix it and work on it. And they do, they work with the person and they move through it. And then 10 minutes later, the pattern shows up with somebody else because they only addressed the situation, but they didn't address the pattern.

And I see that all of the time. And so that's what I wanna invite you to look at from today's quick IQ episode is exactly that is to notice if there is a place where you're constantly feeling triggered in your life where you're feeling hurt or, or, you know, upset. And if so, then look at that and see if you can look through the lens of compassion that maybe somebody else has something going on, that you don't have to take it personally.

And so, when you can start to really go, okay, well, wait, they have this going on and I don't have to take this personally and really starting to look through that lens. And then of course, after you say, well, I don't have to take this personally. Then I wanna invite you to look at it and say, okay, but what pattern is this for me that I need to genuinely transform?

And then of course working to really transform. In your subconscious mind. And so just kind of bringing it all together, the message of the day is wanting to make sure that if you're having a painful situation in life, you can really start to shift it into a place of compassion. So you're not feeling that ongoing hurt.

In life. So that said food for thought. And if you happen to miss the last episode with Sarah that I referenced in the very beginning, I would strongly recommend going to listen to that episode because you really get that lens of having compassion for others and allowing it. Empower yourself, because that's exactly what we were talking about finding that empowerment and not being part of somebody else's pattern, but instead finding your own pattern and also your own strength.

And your empowerment from the situation to truly transform it. And so if you did miss that, I'd strongly recommend going back to listen to it. And otherwise, I'd invite you to really look at this in your life and how you can up your game when it comes to compassion in a way that feels really good for your being.

And opens a bigger door for even more transformation in your life. All right. So that said it has been such a pleasure connecting with you and please do hit the share button on this episode, you know, share it with somebody you love. Somebody you care about or somebody you don't even know, the more empowered that every person is in our world, the better this world is for all of us.

And so on that note, please do enjoy this, embody this, and also make sure to have a fantastic, wonderful day. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their hearts or help them stay positive and hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it as more and more people become empowered.

It really will change our world for the better. That is the point. And the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing every. What we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do wanna be clear though that most people will not get results this fast on. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made you'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize that said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Last. Please remember if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors instead you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

Note: If you are hearing or sight impaired or have any other medical issues that would inhibit you from fully accessing the podcast, please reach out to our team at [email protected] and we will be happy to assist you.  

Also, please remember that genuine change and follow through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor.

Instead, your goal with self-healing should be to continue to see your doctor as recommended and blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind and with the power of mind-body healing.  Please enjoy this self-healing podcast!

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