Click here to listen to episode 014

Please note: These are computer generated transcripts of the Heal Yourself, Change Your Life Podcast Episodes. If you have any questions or need assistance, please reach out to us at support@brandygillmore.com

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health yourself and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so great to connect with you and happy, amazing, wonderful, fabulous new year, you know, happy 2020 new year, new decade. I love it. I love it. I love it. And there's so much. excitement and buzz of just, you know, starting a new decade, starting a new year. I love that feeling. And of course, don't get me wrong.

I know that there are definitely a lot of people who are also not feeling necessarily excited about the new year, or they're kind of thinking, you know, Let's see what this new year holds and has in store. And so there's kind of a little bit of hesitancy, or there are also a lot of people I know that wanting to be excited about the new year, and they're kind of wanting to feel that, but they're not genuinely feeling that inside.

And so, you know, so we're going to talk about that. We're also going to talk about the excitement of the new year. And, uh, And as divine timing would have it, I did take a volunteer for today's show and in taking a volunteer and working with her, I have to say a few things. First and foremost, you're absolutely going to love her.

She's just got this beautiful heart and, um, and you're going to love her. Her name is Jess. And so I'll be working with her and coaching her on how to use it. her mind, of course, to make a shift. And what's fun is that it actually ended up to really speaking to the topic we've been talking about, even from the last episode, where in the last episode, we were talking about mixed feelings and mixed emotions, also subconscious blocks.

And the things that we're wanting. in life, whether it's something that we want to obtain, or if it's something that we want to become, that there's a lot of mixed emotions and mixed programming going on at a deeper level. And so, you know, even in the last episode, we talked about that can happen towards weight loss or just different things, relationships, you know, different things that people are wanting and how beautiful it is that it ended up working out perfectly.

that today's volunteer really reflects that. And she's beautiful and just really, really great self awareness. And so I think you'll really get a lot out of it to really see, you know, just different things that get linked up. And so we're going to go there. And then after that, we'll talk about some key things that you really want to remind your mind.

to remember as we head into 2020. So just some great things that you can get in your mind to really help set yourself up for success. So we will talk about that. And speaking of bringing in 2020, you know, exciting for the year, but also. If we come into the present moment, you know, just bringing in the year now and the last few days and kind of where you are, I hope that you've been able to do something that lights you up, something that touches your heart and your soul.

And, you know, been able to really just connect with friends or connect with the universe or God, divine, you know, family, whatever it is for you. And hopefully it's a combination of all of that. And, um, and really just been able to connect at that deep level. And I have to say, I just, I feel, I feel blessed and I feel so just full and overflowing.

in that area. I just feel like I got really great time laughing and connecting and celebrating the past few days. It's just, I mean, my, my soul is so happy. It is so happy and just loving it. And so I hope that you have that going on, or maybe that is an area of your life that actually needs work. Maybe that's the part of you that's saying, you know what, I've been working and I've been doing this and I've been really successful and, and doing all these things, but I haven't really been spending time connecting or that area of my life just feels really off.

And if that's you, or you're feeling like you're lacking that feeling of connection, then you are going to love Today's episode. So today's episode is really powerful on so many levels. Um, levels of the heart, levels of connecting, relationships, and it's really great at illustrating All of the mixed emotions and mixed programming that we go through on topics that we don't even consciously realize.

And so that part is going to be really powerful. And so that said, let's go ahead and listen in as I begin to work with Jess on creating a radical shift in her life. Here we go.

Um, thank you for your time. I'm so grateful. You're absolutely so welcome. It's so great to connect with you. You too. Thank you. So, um, what's going on with you? Well, I don't, I wouldn't call it pain per se, but I, I do experience a lot of discomfort in my stomach through like bloating and distension, and I just feel a lot of like heaviness and anxiety in my stomach.

Okay. Yeah. And a lot of bloating, you said? Yeah. Okay. And, uh, and how long has that been going on? As long as I can remember. I don't remember exactly when it started, but over ten years, I would say, and it's gotten progressively worse. Okay, and so, um, at this moment, how much discomfort are you feeling in your stomach?

Um, I do have bloating right now, um, but I'm wearing stretchy pants, so it's not as discomfort as it could, as comfortable as it could be, but um, maybe like, I do feel some anxiety, so five maybe, or a six? Yeah, okay, and um, all right, so let me just go ahead and feel that for a moment. I do, do feel the same, about a five, six.

Um, give me one second. Bingo. All right. So kind of just feeling into what you're feeling and Bingo. How long has it been since you've had a relationship? Um, since early this year, but that was Wasn't the best relationship and prior to that. I had a long term one, but it ended Abruptly by him and that I really took it that took a toll on me for sure.

Okay, okay And so if I ask you to notice the level of feeling of anxiety What's your current level? I feel like it went up a bit since you asked me that question so maybe Seven like I'm holding back tears. Mm hmm Okay, so holding back tears, right? And, um, if I ask you, if you knew that you wouldn't be abandoned,

how would you feel? That's my biggest fear. Mm hmm, okay. And, um, if I ask you, 0 to 10, how much fear you have of abandonment, what's your level? Um, it's up there, like, an eight. I know If I ask you why you have tears in your eyes right now, why would you say that is? I think it brings back memories of being abandoned twice.

And I know there's men out there that are great. I have a lot of them in my life. As couples, but sometimes I don't believe that to be true for me. Mm hmm. Okay, and Have you heard before that like even in traditional psychology where you know? We have patterns of dating people will tend to date somebody like their mother or father.

You've heard that before, right? Yeah Okay. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna kind of just kind of check in for a moment But even as I do as soon as I feel your energy, I want you to notice for a moment Notice the part of you that doesn't feel good enough. Yeah. And if I ask you why you, why you feel less about yourself, why is that?

I'm not sure exactly, um, my mom is very much like that and I think I saw that growing up with my dad too, with her, um, but I don't know if maybe just self confidence growing up and then thinking that. My relationships ended because something that I did or. You know that's wrong with me. Mm hmm. Mm hmm And so i'm gonna ask you to close your eyes for just a moment.

So i'm gonna i'm gonna push you just a little bit Okay, okay So everybody else is perfect and there's just something wrong with you I know it's ridiculous Okay, so I want you to notice how crazy that is that you're feeling that way Okay, nobody else has ever made a mistake in a relationship ever everybody else in relationships is perfect You You're the only one that's ever made a mistake.

Now, does that make sense? No. So I'm gonna ask you to just for a moment to notice that part of you that feels less or that feels imperfect. Okay. And, uh, if you listen to that voice. All of your life, moving forward, going into 2020, New Year. If you listen to that voice of not feeling good enough, and you listen to that voice, first and foremost, does that voice make any sense?

No. Because, you know, everybody in relationships, they're all perfect. You're the only one ever who's ever made a mistake, right? No. No. Okay, well, everybody who's in a relationship is perfect. No. Okay, so everybody's still working on things. Everybody's still growing. Everybody's still changing, right? Yeah.

Okay, so I want you to notice how hard you are on yourself.

Why do you get like the lowest grade? You don't know. I shouldn't. I mean, you're beautiful. I'm sitting here looking at you. You're just, you're gorgeous and you're so sweet and um, and why do you grade yourself so low? I don't know and it's funny because maybe it's so You Deeply rooted, but sometimes I feel like, um, I know my worth and I think I'm picky and I, I know I've got a lot to offer and, you know, all of these great things, but then it's almost like part of my brain believes it and then, you know, part of it deep down doesn't.

Yeah, so your brain, so I want you to notice the part of your brain when you think believes it. But I want you to notice your feelings don't. Yeah, exactly. How accurate would that be? That statement be? Yeah, accurate, yeah. Okay, so I want you to notice that feeling of feeling not good enough. All those feelings.

And I want you to imagine you keep those all the way through 2020. How does it go? Not well, I'll probably continue to attract the same type of person I have or just isolate myself. Okay, and if I ask you how much you've been isolating yourself or attracting the wrong person? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. And, um, bingo.

All right. And, uh, bingo. I'm going to ask you to look at 2020 for a moment. What would that even look like for you to feel good enough? What would it look like? What would it feel like? What would that feel like? I feel like it would feel like a weight lifted, like a worry is gone. Okay. And I can breathe.

You can breathe. Mm hmm. Like, if I knew things were going to be okay, I could just be patient and wait for it to happen. But it's like, I don't know that. So I worry. Bingo. And so you worry. And if I ask you how often you find yourself worrying, how often would you say that is? Multiple times a day. Okay. So you see where the anxiety is coming from, right?

Yeah. Bingo. And how many siblings do you have? One brother. And he's older than you? Mm hmm. And, um, bingo. Okay, so when I check your energy, I, you know, we were talking about we'll tend to marry people that are like our mother or father or different people like that. Bingo. I actually see that energy from your brother.

Okay, so what's his first initial? Bingo. Okay. Bingo. And are there times that you felt like you wanted to hang out with him but you felt like you couldn't? Yes. Uh huh. We were like best friends when we were kids and then he got a little older and I wasn't cool and we stopped hanging out and ever since then we haven't, I love him and he loves me, we just don't really um, socialize much because we just don't have much in common and it's interesting you say that because I think about that a lot and he Had a long term relationship when he was younger and he ended things abruptly And then all of a sudden like that happened to me in my relationship And he hasn't brought anyone home until just this last few months in like over a decade He's never brought any Had a relationship and so all of a sudden now he he does and it gave me hope that maybe Connecting with his girlfriend could help get him and I closer.

Okay, and uh Okay, so I want you to notice, um, bingo, how you feel like it's abrupt. Yeah. Okay, so the anxiety is from a feeling of feeling abrupt. Okay, uh, and then there's also this feeling of feeling like with your brother that you're just not cool enough. You just weren't cool enough to hang out with him.

Okay, but there's a feeling of, of you're beneath. Okay, you're like beneath him. And so just for a moment, bingo, I'm going to ask you to close your eyes for a moment. And I'm going to ask you to notice what it would feel like if you felt like you guys were equals. What would that feel like? And I'm going to ask you to just step into the feeling for a moment.

Just step into the feeling. What would that feel like? Not what would it think like, what would it look like, but what would it feel like? I'm having a hard time because I don't consciously feel like we're not equals. Okay, and if I ask you to notice what it would feel like as a kid for you to both feel equals.

Okay. Yeah, um, a few months ago I found some old family videos and it was him and I and I just got so emotional watching it. It made me so happy and I was like, I wanted that back.

And uh, and I hear you and I hear you now. I want you to notice for a moment Look at all the emotion that you have around this and look at all of the hurt and all of the stuff going on for a long time, right? Yeah. Well, now we can see why it's a pattern. Yeah. Right? At least it's not your mom or dad pattern, right?

For sure. Yeah. So, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you just to breathe for a moment. Now, if I bring in the awareness, you know, um, of let's say there's somebody who does have a pattern with their mother or father or something like that, you know, and by the way, I use a stereotype of mother or father, but I literally see it towards grandparents or siblings or all different types of things, but um, if they really changed that pattern, like really healed it, would you expect them to change their lives?

Yes. A hundred percent? Okay. And so, are you ready to let go of the pain from this? Yes. Are you okay with it being, like, could you just be okay with it? Could you have a different perspective? Could you be willing to let it go? Yes. Yes? Now that I'm aware of it, yes. Okay, and so, bingo. And so if I ask you, how far away does your brother live from you?

Twenty minutes. Okay, and um, and how often do you invite him to do anything? Well, never. Okay. So, this may sound really weird, really, really outside of the box for people, but maybe you should invite him to do something. I will. Right? I will. Okay. So, um, breathe.

Okay. And I'm going to ask you to close your eyes and picture what that would look like for you and him to reconnect. Bingo. Okay, so when I said it had to do with your brother, um, so I'm watching your feeling towards that, okay? And so when I look at the pattern itself, there's a feeling, a feeling like it has, it has to do with him and also towards your brother's friends, okay?

Can you see how there was a part of you that would actually hang out with him and then his friends would come over and then it would feel disconnected. Can you see that? Yes. Okay, um, And it felt like suddenly, abruptly, you were not good enough. Yes. Okay, and if I ask you how many times that happened where his friends would come over and abruptly you were not good enough, what was the level?

Oh. How many times would you say that's happened? Multiple times. Okay. And, um, was it that you were really just not good enough? No. Or that he just wanted to play with his friends? Yeah, he just wanted to play with his friends. Okay, and so, in you, when you've been in a relationship before, have you ever just wanted to hang out with your friends?

Yes. Yes. Okay, and it was because your partner at the time wasn't good enough, right? No. It was because he was uncool, though, right? No. Oh, you just wanted to hang out with your friends by yourself? Yes. Okay, so, okay. Well, is it, I mean, like, normal for a woman to go hang out with her friends and not always have her man there?

Yeah, I think it's healthy. Okay, well, but only because he's uncool and he sucks, right? No. No. Okay. So, I want you to notice the part of you that growing up, your brother didn't hang out with you. It was, it was because you're uncool. Not because he just wanted to hang out with his friends. It was because you were uncool.

Are you sure? Are you sure it was because you were uncool? Or was you sure just because he just wanted to hang out with his friends? I'm not sure of that. I don't. Well, you've been telling yourself that you were, you said you, you were uncool, and his friends were cool, and you were uncool, and that's why.

Yeah. So are you sure that that's true? No. Okay, well, you've been telling yourself and acting like you're less than, okay? But if you think about it, obviously, most women, when they go hang out with their friends, And they like leave their husband or boyfriend or whomever behind or whomever, you know, their partner behind.

Um, it's usually because their partner's uncool. Mm hmm. No, right? Absolutely not.

Okay, so the only reason you get left out is because you're uncool. No. But your brother left you out because you're uncool. No, I think that was just my perception when I was He was, I idolized him probably when I was a kid. Uh huh. So you idolized him and then you got left out because you were uncool though, right?

No. No. Okay, and so just for a moment, I want you to notice the part of you that idolized him. Right? Okay. So when I said I wanted you to picture you guys, yourself, you guys as equals a minute ago, and you said, I do, okay, I still feel very much that the feeling of idolizing him in your energy. Can you feel that?

Yeah, I worry if I ask him to hang out, he won't want to. Yeah, cuz you're so uncool. I was gonna tell you that same thing. Like, look at how uncool you are. I'm cool. You are cool! Look at you! And you look like you have a lot of fun, and I love your look and you just have a fun vibe going on. Absolutely! You have a fun vibe.

Okay. So, bingo. Like, when you see guys hanging out, like, have you ever seen like a group of guys hanging out before? Yeah. Very often in your life you've seen that? Yes. It's because they decided all women are uncool, and that's why they hang out together. No. Yeah, they're like, all women, uncool, they're, that's the only reason guys ever hang out together by themselves.

Well, it seems ridiculous when, when I hear it. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. So, okay, so go ahead and close your eyes for a moment, okay, and yeah, this belief that you're just uncool, yeah, you could go ahead and keep that, even though it's not true, and guys just wanted to hang out by themselves. And then you got hurt because there was a lot of idolizing, okay?

And so just for a moment, I want you to notice how much insecurity that you've had. Yeah, if I ask you how much insecurity you're showing up with zero to ten, what's been your level? Oh, um, Probably like a seven or an eight like I act like i'm not i'm not insecure but on the inside I am I love your self awareness, and I love yourself.

Absolutely, absolutely. Great self awareness, great self honesty. Um, beautiful. And from that place, everything can change. So, could you imagine if you spent 2020, you spent your life, even, this year, your life, feeling insecure inside and just hiding it, pretending like you're not. I don't want to live like that or feel like that.

Well, you can change it like, like ten years from now, right? Absolutely. No. That wouldn't work. When would you like to change it? Right away. Right away. Okay, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe,

and I'm going to remind you for a moment. Bingo. So I'm going to reflect this back, um, bingo, give me one second. Bingo. Um, when I feel what you're feeling, um, and I feel into it about level, um, age eight is where I really feel it really strong. Okay. Um, where do you feel it the most at? If I ask you to think back to your childhood.

That probably sounds about right. Okay. Yeah. So, um, bingo. So if I told you there's an eight year old, and at the ripe old age of eight, she took in a belief that she was uncool,

and she started feeling insecure and not good enough about herself, how does that go? You feel sad for her. Okay, and you'd say, you're right eight year old girl. You're, you're totally uncool. Would you tell her that? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. And so just for a moment. Bingo. Bingo. Interesting. Give me one second.

Bingo. Bingo. Interesting. Bingo. Um, there's a belief that actually comes in around age, age nine. Okay. Can you, um, there's a, there's a Bingo. An older male. It feels like you'd like your father, but there's like this feeling of feeling like cool kids. It's like cool kids drink or cool kids do drugs. Are you familiar with that, with that belief as a kid?

Not at age nine. Okay, and what age, what age do you recall? Probably, um, around, like, in my early teens. Okay, so if I ask you if the cool kids drink and do drugs? What would your, what would your teenage self have said? Oh yeah, I would agree with that. I think that's why I did start drinking with my friends.

We just, out of peer pressure, even though it scared me, we were pretty young. Okay, and uh, bingo,

bingo.

Okay, and so notice it scared you, and you were always very timid in that area, correct? Yeah. So,

so I want you to notice the part of you that was also, um, intimidated by cool, and like afraid to be cool. Like if I asked your nervous system how scared you were. How safe it feels to be cool. How safe does it feel? Um, right now, okay, but as a kid, yeah, it was, it was scary. Okay, so scary. And if I ask your kid self why it was scary to be cool.

What would your kid self have said? Well, I remember in school, they kind of would teach you about don't drink, don't do drugs, and they would kind of fear monger you, like they would show you videos and tell you about horror stories and whatever, so I was really nervous about that, but I felt like I had to do that to fit in.

Okay, so what if I told you that it was the uncool kids that drink?

Ah. Then how safe would it be to be cool?

I guess it would be safer. Okay. So if it was the uncool kids who drank and did drugs, how safe would it be for you to be cool?

I don't know, I mean, that sounds silly, yeah, to hear it. Well, no, but I want you to notice, you have great self awareness and I love it. I want you to notice, basically what it was, uh, what we're doing is it was, um, looking at the specifics. Of going, okay. Well, where did the uncool start? But even as we started to shift that I saw that you didn't want to shift actually all the way into it Uh, because there's this feeling of feeling afraid of being cool like you're gonna have to do drugs or drink or uh bingo or be more promiscuous or Just different things like that that for sure Okay, and so just for a moment What if being cool is none of that?

How safe would it be to be cool? Much safer. Okay, so I want you to just take that in for a moment. If being cool is none of that,

how safe would it feel to be cool? So much safer, like I could be myself. Totally, right? Yeah. Okay, and so, and how cool would that be to be yourself? So cool. Okay, so I want you to notice for a moment, I'm going to ask you to open your eyes, okay, and so are you basically saying that I'm uncool? No. I mean, I feel like that's what you're saying, like I don't drink or do drugs, I might have a glass of wine once a month if that, so, so now you're saying that I'm not cool because I don't drink and do drugs.

No, is that what you're saying? No. Okay. Okay, so I want you to notice for a moment your definition I gotta tell you I hang out with like Incredible friends incredible people that i'm around all the time and I have to tell you a lot of people don't actually drink anymore. That's so, there's a lot of people that don't drink or do drugs.

Yeah. And, and there are plenty of people that, that still do. And, and, you know, as long as there's, you know, whatever, you know, it just, um, I mean, still drink, obviously not doing drugs, but, um, but, you know, within reason or, you know, obviously a glass of wine or a glass of champagne, whatever somebody has or whatever, but, um, Bingo.

But cool isn't defined by how much you drink or how much, how many, like, none of that, okay? Not only that, but if you think about it, um, have you ever seen anybody who was doing drugs that was on the, uh, like a homeless person that was doing a bunch of drugs and stuff like that? How cool did that look to you?

Terrible. Okay, but in, in their end, like, they, they think it's cool, right? How, how cool does that seem? How many people walk by that homeless person who's on drugs and everything else and says, Oh, that's cool. I wish I could be, I wish I could hang out with them. No. No one. Okay. So, just for a moment, can you realize a few things?

So first and foremost, can you realize That cool is so much bigger than, it's not, it has nothing to do with drugs and alcohol. Yeah, and when you said the promiscuous part, that really struck a chord with me too, because I feel, feel like there was a lot of pressure for that, but that I wasn't comfortable with that, and all my friends that were cool did that, and I just felt pressure for that.

Okay, so just for a moment, can you breathe?

Okay. And by the way, um, so what kind of, I want you to notice the drugs and alcohol there. Okay. Um, and that zero to 10 is about a level three. And I would agree that the promiscuous part is a lot bigger. Um, and also, um, Bingo. Give me one second.

Give me one second. Let's see. Bingo. And,

um, so what you're saying basically is any woman that is cool is promiscuous, right? I think that's how I felt when I was younger. Okay, and so just for a moment, I want you to think around the world and think about women who you would think or look up to or think are wonderful or wonderful people. We're cool.

And I want you to think about the awareness that you just called them all promiscuous. Yeah, I feel like it's the exact opposite.

So just for a moment, I want you to think about any and every woman who is cool, who is amazing, who's wonderful.

And I want you to think, do I think they're really all promiscuous? No. Huh? No. Be like, Jess just called you promiscuous, it wasn't me!

So uh, so Jess for a moment, you have to be promiscuous to then be cool, right? They don't but you do. Yeah, silly. So just for a moment. I want you to notice. This is what's great I want you to notice that you have had a whole bunch of stuff linked up in your mind about why you're uncool and why it's Not safe to be cool.

You're uncool because your brother hung out with his friends. Yeah, and that made you uncool. How? It didn't. It didn't. No. Okay. And you're uncool because it was un, unafraid to be, you're afraid to be cool because promiscu, because every cool woman is promiscuous and they drink and they do drugs. No. No. No.

Right? And so, uh, and so just for a moment,

um, bingo,

bingo. Are there women who are really cool who are not promiscuous? Yes. Are there women who are really cool who don't drink? Yes. Yes. Okay, and do drugs. Okay. Could you be one of those cool women who don't drink or do drugs and are not extremely promiscuous? Yeah. And would that be safe? Yes.

Beautiful. And can you take that in for a moment?

Bingo. Now, have you ever heard people say that Star Wars is really, really cool? Mm hmm. Okay. Do you think star wars is really cool? I've never seen it. So no So no, right Okay, and are there people who think star wars is really cool? Yeah, a lot of them, right? Yeah, okay and so Just for a moment if you think about it There are people that think something is cool like every it's define your own cool.

Yeah So what is cool to you? I think just being You your own person and being confident in yourself and expressing yourself the way that you want to. Okay. So being comfortable, being confident in yourself and expressing yourself the way that you want to, is that cool? Very much so. Very much so, right? And so just for a moment, can you close your eyes?

And could you be cool moving forward?

Could you realize for a moment there are a million different definitions of cool? Mm hmm. I'm with you. Somebody who feels confident with themselves. Somebody who, um, who just expresses themselves transparently. I love that. That's cool. That's, that's so cool. Just honesty, integrity, authenticity. That's cool.

Right? And so, just for a moment, if you look forward, and you realize you don't have to do drugs and promiscuous and, and drink, but just honesty, integrity, being comfortable with yourself, that's cool.

Okay? Or you could be into Star Wars, and that could be really cool. Or you could be into a million different things. Point being is that everybody has their own definition. Okay? No, but based on your old definition, Of drugs and alcohol and promiscuity. I mean, if you think about it, no wonder why you were afraid to be cool.

Mm hmm. Yeah. Okay, right? Yeah. Okay. So just for a moment, bingo, moving forward and just, and actually just for a moment, I'm gonna ask you to notice, what's your level of feeling anxiety? Zero to ten. It's down like a three. Three, right? Okay, so from about a seven to about a three, which is awesome. Okay. And, Bingo, bingo,

bingo, bingo. I want you to notice the part of you, bingo,

that felt like you were abruptly abandoned.

Okay, now is that true? No. Okay, so did your brother abandon you though, right? No. Okay, did you see him for the holidays? Yeah. Ah, but I thought he abandoned you, abruptly. He didn't. He was just being a normal kid. Okay, so can you breathe for a moment?

Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe again.

Bingo. Okay, and now I'm gonna ask you to notice,

what would it feel like if you, so I want you to notice you, how much you idolized your brother, right? Okay, and what would happen if you idolized Jess?

What would that feel like to idolize yourself?

I would love to love myself and not have any negative self talk or any doubts. Okay, so just for a moment, I want you to notice what would that would feel like to idolize yourself? And I want you to notice how much you still idolize your brother. And if I ask you 0 to 10, how much you still idolize him, how much would you say that is?

Um, I still do, for sure. Um, maybe like a six. Okay, and if I ask you how much you've idolized yourself, how much is that? Less. Like a four. Okay, and so just for a moment, bingo. And if I ask you how much you felt like you weren't good enough, how much would you say that is? Like, an eight. Mm hmm. Okay. And, uh, and I want you to picture what it would look like if you pictured him being not good enough at a level eight.

No, it doesn't feel good. I would never think of him like that. Okay. And so why would you think of you that way? I shouldn't.

Bingo. Alright, so give me one second

Bingo. Okay. So I want you to notice beyond thinking, I want to ask you to notice the feeling of hurt of emotional hurt from feeling like a feeling of abandonment. Right. And I want you to notice all of that feeling of hurt. Notice that feeling of hurt of abandonment. And I'm going to ask you first and foremost, is it even true?

No. Okay. So I want you to go ahead and keep those feelings and let me know how that goes for you in another 10, 20, 30 years. No, thank you.

Bingo. Okay. And, um, Bingo. And I'm going to ask you again to find that feeling,

bingo, I'm going to ask you to find that feeling of hurt,

and if it's not true, then what do you need it for?

I don't. What's that? I don't need it. What's that? I do not need it. So you just want to like hold on to it because it's comfortable? It's not comfortable. I don't. Okay. I don't. So it's not comfortable and emotions attract more of the same, right? We have emotional patterns, different things like that, right?

Yeah. So just for a moment. If you keep that, how are things going to go? They'll continue as they have been. Okay. And, uh, are you willing to let it go? Yes. Thank you. And if you really heal this, how do things go? So amazingly. What would that look like? And I just want you to think about, first and foremost, before you answer verbally, I want you to think about what would that look like to really, like, for real.

For real. What would that look like to go, Oh my God, I can let go of all of this. Like feeling not good enough and I can actually feel cool and I can realize that there are a ton of different definitions of cool and this is my definition of cool and Own it and realize it is cool and feel that feeling of really feeling great about you

What would that feel like?

So if I ask you, for a moment, if, if I use the stereotype of, of a woman who has an abusive father or an alcoholic father leaves him and finds an alcoholic boyfriend, spouse, partner, blah, blah, blah, right? Mm hmm. If she heals that pattern, does it change? Yes. Okay. So if you heal this pattern, does it change?

Yes. What does your future look like? It looks great. What does it feel like? Feels good. It feels good. Um, again, like a weight is lifted, like a, I can love myself first, not have self confidence issues or, or worry of abandonment. And I can attract someone that loves me for me and not worrying that they're going to leave me or attracting someone that, that will.

And you know, moving forward, having a more solid relationship with my brother as equals And, yeah, not, not doing things to appease people, to make them think I'm cool or a certain way, but just to be authentic to me. Okay. And, um, bingo.

And could you feel, like, when you're authentic to you, like if somebody is, Authentic to themselves, and really just is an authentic person, and they're comfortable in their own skin. How cool is that? It's so cool. I, I just love that about people that are that way, and I, I envy that. Okay, okay, and uh, so do you need to envy it, or can you just become it?

I can become it. Obviously not them because that doesn't do great for being yourself. Yeah Okay, and uh bingo. All right. So i'm gonna ask you your current level of anxiety. What's your level? Oh, it's like a gone. It's gone. I feel a lot lighter beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful All right, so i'm going to ask you just for a moment.

So a few things so i'm going to ask you to open your eyes Okay, and if I told you that I decided that I was going to start speaking italian tomorrow You Uh, but I'd never spoken Italian before. How do you think I'm gonna do? Not well. Not well. Okay, so I want you to notice how long you've been speaking this language to yourself of feeling not good enough and uncool and not good enough.

If I ask you how many years that's been. Well, I'm 31 now, so. Okay, so a day or two, right? Okay, so just for a moment, looking at this and How important do you think this is for you to change for you to have a happy life? So important the most important. Okay. So are you willing to really get this in and really create that change?

Yes Okay, is is there? Can I ask like I know you said sometimes meditation isn't the best thing is it more so just sitting in that feeling? I would work on bringing in the feelings. So there's a few things. That's what I was gonna Uh, that's where we're going. So you're spot on. Okay is first and foremost Like if even like if I ask your nervous system at the highest high It felt safe to be cool at a level like 0 to 10 about a 12 Okay, right now even feels at about a level three four So what I want you to do because I know there's a part of you That's also kind of nervous as we're on the video and different things like that.

Yeah, but I would want you to walk around and really bring in specifically the feeling of feeling like It's safe to be cool and what cool is and getting a new awareness of cool, right? So I mean if I told you that oh by the way for me to be cool I have to do a ton of drugs and alcohol and be super promiscuous How safe does that feel?

Not safe. Okay. So, uh, so Getting your definition of cool. Okay, so I always call it define your own cool, you know, become your own cool. And so Um, and so really really stepping into that. Okay, and reminding your mind. It's safe It's kind of like this is if I spent 20 years being afraid of dogs, okay Um, and then I might it might take me a second to like get used to warming up to a dog, right?

I love dogs, love puppies and dogs and all that. So, but either way, um, notice for a moment. Um, so what I want you to do is I want you to get your nervous system used to it. So I'd want you to keep bringing it in. So there's specific things. The other thing is, Is, um, so I want you to make it safe to be cool.

I'd also, because there's about six different patterns that are going on. And so what happens is, that's why sometimes it's so hard to make it changes, because there's multiple things that are going on in the mind. So even when we took away, like there's a feeling of abrupt hurt and abandonment from your brother, who you just saw over Christmas, right?

Mm hmm. Okay, so he abandoned you how much? He did not. Okay. So, um, so notice there's that like, there, there's that thing that you've been telling yourself. Yeah. Okay. Not only that, but he only, you know, the only reason anybody hangs out with, you know, any type, anytime anybody hangs out with people is just because somebody else is uncool.

Right. Okay. So noticing that you told yourself that, but that wasn't even true. Mm hmm. Okay, so you've told yourself a lot of BS. Okay. Mm hmm. And so getting it in your mind. Now, if you walked around with a feeling of feeling like, wow, it's safe to be cool, and I was never abandoned, and it wasn't because I'm not cool, and you know, By the way, let me get back to feeling great.

Mm hmm. And then like, and feeling great about myself. Now, have you ever been somebody, around somebody before who felt like they were super, super insecure? Yes. Okay, and how does that feel to you? You can feel it, like it, yeah, it's uncomfortable. Okay. So notice how hard you've tried to hide it, and also notice how it's felt there, right?

And, um, yeah, bingo. And I'm sure you, because you look great on the outside, I'm sure you've been able to hide it to an extent, but especially when you're in a relationship or you're really close to somebody, you can kind of, you feel those things, right? Yes. And so, um, like if I asked your exes, Um, in relationships.

If you were insecure, what would they say? They would say yes. Okay. So if I told you that you were with a man who was really insecure, how would that feel? Um, I feel like that's the type of people I, man I was with, and it didn't, it didn't. Feel good, and I think that's probably some of the reasons why I attracted them and why it didn't work out.

Yeah, and Bingo, so what if moving forward you were to feel comfortable in the relationship? Mm hmm, and you were also with somebody else who was comfortable in the relationship. How would that feel to you? Amazing? Amazing. Beautiful, so Okay, so you mentioned about meditation and some types of as you know, as you you mentioned That's why i'm not the biggest fan of meditation.

There's other reasons also but Like, what I found even going through my own injury and I see with a lot of people is they're meditating and meditating and meditating, but meditation isn't gonna change the specific things that you really need to change to make the change that you want to make. Does that make sense?

Yeah. So, um, bingo, bingo. So give me one second.

So the biggest thing that I would do if I were you is I would get a vision moving forward. Okay, I would get a vision moving forward of how you want things to be. And I would start getting that in your mind. Again, you know, when a lot of people, they, it's like they, like the last thing, like we hear, we hear vision too much.

Get a vision, get a vision, and stuff like that. We hear it too much, and so we take it for granted, but If something is all we know, like these patterns, a lot of these patterns came in for you at a young age. Right. And so it's like learning English at a young age and never speaking Spanish or speaking Italian or speaking Mandarin or whatever it is, you know, never speaking another language.

And then we decide we want to switch. And we, our brain doesn't know it. Okay. And so not only that, but if you're really going to feel differently, then you've got to program it in and get used to feeling a different way. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yes, absolutely. Beautiful. And, uh, so and I want you to notice for a moment that your anxiety went away.

It did. Okay, and, and not only that, but when we started it was a 5 6, when we mentioned dating it went up to a 7 8. And then it's now gone. Yeah. Okay, and so really creating a shift. So your body Is telling you something specific and um, and really i'm embracing that change is key. Does that make sense? Yeah, so if I were you I would listen to this recording several times.

I would look at the specific things That we talked about shifting the specific things and really get that vision and Create the change and and remember that there's like there's not only creating the feeling of feeling safe to be cool and Realizing all of those beliefs. So you had beliefs multiple beliefs about being cool that that we're not serving you right, and so what happens is this and What happens the best way to describe it is that okay?

Here we go a great way to describe it is this Is that if you were standing close to a cliff you'd want to back up from it automatically, right? Like or if somebody throws a ball at you or something at you want to your reflex want to help you duck immediately, right? Okay, without even thinking if like if I throw a ball at you right now Imagining that we were in the same country Obviously not gonna throw from one country to another but Um, but if if somebody throws a ball towards you right now, are you you're gonna catch it or duck, right?

You Yep. Do you trust your reflexes are gonna do that? Yes. Okay, so thinking when it's programmed in at a deeper level happens as a reflex. So in other words, your brain was so programmed that cool was dangerous and not safe that as a reflex your brain said, yes, let's do uncool. Okay, and so you walked around feeling uncool.

Okay, so all of that feeling of uncool was your reflex state, if that makes sense. It's, it, so it's automatic. Mm hmm. So it doesn't define you, it's not who you are, but all of the emotions that are going on in our mind in the programming is there for a reason and it's trying to help you. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Okay, so making it safe to feel cool. Okay, and then as you make it safe to feel cool, then just walking around and really owning it and feeling it's safe. Um, and, uh, and really listening to this recording. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. Beautiful. Um, beautiful. Jess, going into 2020. How great is 2020 going to be?

It's going to be amazing and I'm so grateful to spend the last of 2019 with you, right? Absolutely It's a great way to start the new year. Yeah a great way to start the new year If you think about it heading right in to 2020, this is perfect, right? Yeah Okay. So how committed are you to making this change?

It's my number one priority. Number one priority. Can you do it? Yes You Did you learn the alphabet? Yes. Okay. Did you learn it in one day? No. Okay. But now you're pretty good with it, I assume? Yes. Right? Okay. So, getting it in, getting it in, embracing that change. Okay. It's awesome, right? I'm, I'm so excited for you, and you're such a beautiful soul.

Thank you. And, um, absolutely. It's been such a pleasure connecting with you. You too, Brandy. Thank you again. You're so, so welcome. Thanks, Jess. Bye.

All right. So let's go ahead and unpack this even further because this episode has so many pieces of valuable information in it. And you know, it's just divine timing because if you think about the last episode, you know, on the last episode, we were talking about really setting up your goals and Making sure to make the change on the inside to get yourself to follow through and to really have them come to fruition.

You know, we talked about over 80 percent of people, by the time February, mid February hits, their New Year's resolution's out the window. They've failed at their New Year's resolution. And not that it necessarily needs to be a New Year's resolution, but any goals that people are going for or trying to achieve, you want to realize.

that there's really so many different things that are going on in the subconscious mind. And so, unfortunately, you know, people will think things to themselves like, oh, I'm lazy, or oh, I just can't get myself to follow through, or I can't manifest this, or, you know, they'll have a vision of something they're wanting to manifest, or create in their lives, or heal their body.

And they try and they try and they're taking effort towards it, or they're visualizing and visualizing and taking effort towards it. But they don't realize that there's all of these things that are going on at a subconscious level. And all of these things that are going on at the subconscious level, they do.

They can affect our health, our lives, our finances, relationships, everything. Emotional patterns, the way that we see the world. You know, really when we have things that are programmed in our mind, they really change the lens that we see the world in, you know, and so it's sometimes hard to even see what it is because it really paints the picture.

The picture of life. And so of course, meaning that whenever you make a change at a really deep level in the subconscious mind, you actually start to change the way that you see the world and it's profound, you know, it's just, even in my life, I, the way that I see the world, the way that I see everything and going through my injury to recovery is completely different.

And that's what I see from people all of the time. When you really make that change and shift. at a deeper level. And a lot of times the blocks or the things that are going on are hard to see, you know, even Jess. I mean, what a beautiful being, just sweet and beautiful inside and out, a great personality, great self awareness and great self honesty.

I mean, really, really great at this. And when we went to go hang up, so we said bye and I hit stop on the recording and we are hanging up and then. It was one of those moments where you just kind of reconnect with somebody and we were like, Oh, you know what? You know, you did really great. And she was like, you know, this is amazing because now it all makes sense.

But before I couldn't see any of this stuff, you know? And so you might think listening to it, Oh, well, of course this all makes sense. But it wasn't obvious to her. It's just because I could feel What she's feeling, and so I could help her to guide with it. You know, if you think about where we started, really, the reason that she came on the show was because she's been having GI issues for over 10 years.

You know, as she mentioned in the beginning, she's been feeling that feeling of anxiety in her lower abdomen, but having a lot of issues with her stomach and her abdomen for over 10 years now. And she mentioned, you know, as long as she can remember, and that's Why she came here was really to work on her health and what was going on with her stomach and the anxiety.

So the last thing on her mind was basically everything that we talked about. And so bringing that forward and saying, okay, well, look, this is what you want to change. So it's beautiful because, you know, if you think back to the beginning episodes where we talked about whatever's going on with our health, he's really telling us The most important thing we need to know, you know, and in other words, you know when it's like a check engine light So if we have some type of health issue going on, it's like, you know, what is the connection to it?

What is the mind? What's going on? What is our body telling us? That we need to change, you know, universe, God, divine, whatever you wanna call it. It's the way of saying, you know, you really want to change this. And of course if we look at Jess's situation, you know, when we started to really work on that topic and create that, shift, her anxiety.

And discomfort in her abdomen went away. And you might recall in the very beginning, when we first started working on it, and I mentioned it, she mentioned her anxiety and discomfort went up. And so you can see how that's what's going on in her lower abdomen. And, um, and she's been feeling that again for over 10 years.

And she said as long as she can remember. And so again, just when it comes to your health and what's going on, that our bodies are giving us information. to really make a change. And it's profound when we really embrace that. And by the way, from this, if you think about it, if you kind of step back and look at this situation, and we look at this mind programming that she got at a young age, we can see that this mind programming, this mindset, these hurts, have affected her entire life.

You know, how she connected with people, people in general, not only that, but relationships and self, how she's felt about herself, all of that from mind programming. You know, if her programming had been different growing up than her life. would be different right now. And so point being, is that you can start to see how much our thoughts really do affect our life and the trajectory of our lives.

And of course our emotions and our health and all of that. And so point being, looking forward, When you look at 2020 and you look at creating the life that you want, you want to make sure that you really shift your mind programming on the inside to create that change. And so it's, it's profound because all of the time I see people that are wanting to manifest this or change their life in that direction, and they push and they try and they have this effort and all of these things.

And a lot of times there's a lot of struggle or they're trying towards something, and then all of a sudden. They manifest, different types of distractions come up, or issues come up, or, you know, something happens to where they don't really make that change. And it has to do with this programming at a deeper level.

When we really understand our subconscious mind and create that change, It's powerful. And so that said, you know, as you're stepping into 2020, really summing it up, you want to remember a few key things. And it is this, is that, you know, we talked about in the beginning, you want to remind your mind of certain things going into 2020, remind your mind for a moment that we do create our lives, that our thinking affects our health and our emotions and also our lives.

And the reason I say that is because If you look at Jess's situation, there was a lot of different mixed programming, which by the way, is typical. That is very common, and even on certain subjects, like health, money, um, different things like that, there are a lot of different things going on. So typically, there's even more mixed programming that can go on towards different topics.

And you find so many different links. And so you'll want to remind your mind of a few things as we really step into 2020. I mean, first and foremost, you'll want to remind your mind that our thoughts really do shape our lives and shape our trajectory. of our life, who we become, our relationships, our health, finances, everything.

And so you want to make sure to remember that your emotions, your energy is continuously creating that. And the reason I say you want to remind your mind of that is because likely if you're here, You know that, okay? Likely, if you're here, you know it at least to an extent. However, you might notice around you even this, this happening, but there will be some people who are saying, you know, gosh, you know, 2019 was just okay, and I hope 2020 is even better, or they'll say, you know, 2019 wasn't that great to me, or 2019 was really rough.

I hope 2020 Okay. And they'll say that, and of course, then they'll just be like, yeah, manifesting and our thoughts create our lives. And it's like, they don't, they don't align, you know, both, both statements don't align, and so you want to remember. To make 2020 great, to say, okay, I'm going to have a great year.

I'm going to change my mindset. I'm going to make these changes on the inside. As I do make changes on the inside that will reflect in my external behavior and it'll help change my life, you know? And so really doing that. And remembering to remember that 2020 is going to be what you make of it. And going, okay, let me make the most of it.

And so really looking at your health and whatever it is and your life and, and saying, okay, let me really take this to the next level. Okay. So there's that. Um, another thing is that all of the time people are wanting to make change. And you want to remind your mind that if you don't put something new in your mind, how are you going to get something new?

And so again, even if we look at Jess's situation, you can see the patterns that we're going, you know? And now she says she wants to create a radical shift and really make this change, then getting new information in her mind. is key. And so you'll want to do the same thing. And the next thing you want to remember, just building on that, is you'll want to remember that everything really is programmed in at the subconscious level.

And to really make that change, you want to reprogram the subconscious mind to get it in there. And so, by the way, that said, if you are wanting to make a further change and really create this shift. In your life, you want to make sure to look at the specific things you want to change. Cause you know, a lot of people that are wanting to work on creating changes and they're just doing meditation, which meditation can be great, some types of meditation, but you want to make sure that it, it takes more than that.

It takes really understanding your subconscious mind and it takes targeting specific things. Emotions and specific wounding and specific beliefs and really creating that change. And that is when we see radical shifts in our health and our life and all of that. So it's key. And so that said, if you are looking for getting more mind programming in, really understanding it deeper, you can go to my website and, um, on my website, there's a blog.

So I have a blog called Mind Programming with Music. And really it's, it's a collection of mind programming with different things, but understanding mind programming and ways you can start to bring in Positive programming. And so that's at brandygilmore. com slash blog. And so that'll give you some ideas for programming in new information into your mind.

And of course, also, as I mentioned on the last episode, I do have a class, a live class coming up and that will be starting at the end of January. And so that is a new year's special. And so we'll talk about kind of the major things in life, happiness, health, relationships. And success and money. And so, you know, really talking about each of them.

So we'll spend a week on each of them and look at, okay, what are the blocks going on in this area of your life? And so if you are somebody who has been struggling or stuck or is really wanting to just speed up the process and look at 2020 and say, okay, let me identify what's going on and create that change.

You know, whatever that is for you. If you're somebody. Who's wanting to understand your subconscious mind at a deeper level and how to make changes and understand the tools and techniques to do that, then you'll definitely want to check this class out. And the website for that is brandygilmore. com slash NY special.

So it stands for New Year's special, NY special. And I normally would do each of these classes separately. And instead what I'm doing because it's the new year is combining them all together in one class to really start out the year right. And so it's basically just looking at each topic and getting set, moving forward into 2020 about really embracing change and what that is and what that looks like inside.

The Subconscious Mind. And so that said, you know, if you want to check it out, you can definitely do so. Or the blog, or both, or whatever works for you. But working on setting yourself up for success. So that said, heading into 2020, game on. Let's make it amazing, happy, healthy. You know, that's the vision for everybody is just happy, healthy, feeling amazing, loving life.

Let's create a beautiful world together. And of course, creating a beautiful world starts with everybody working on the inside to really feel happy and feel good inside, because if we look around the world and if everybody. was happy and healthy and felt empowered in their lives. It'd just be a beautiful place.

And so that said, 2020, game on. Let's create a beautiful future. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you. Thank you for being here. I wish you a wonderful rest of your day.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. I love connecting with you. And if you love the show, or you learned something, please be sure to hit the subscribe button. And make sure to share it with the people around you. The more you share it, the more we can change our world for the better.

Also, I love hearing from you. If you'd like to send me any questions or comments, please visit me at brandygilmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, please remember, if you have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctor.

Instead, you'll want to continue to work with them and make it your goal to blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself Change. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website brandygilmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.