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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health yourself and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, and your healing. I just love it. And today's episode is just divine timing for so many reasons. And it also, like every other episode, it just has a unique twist to it.

Except for this one, I would say is got an even more unexpected twist to it. So I love that. And in the last IQ episode, We were talking about how emotions don't always appear as exactly what they are. For example, we were talking about fear and how it can show up for a variety of different reasons that are kind of hidden.

And so it's not as logical as you may think. And we talked about that in the last episode. And then. Kind of divine timing. We're going to see that start to unfold in today's episode in a unique way. Just kind of, you, you see how emotions aren't as logical as they seem. And not only that, but just again, mentioning that, you know, our volunteer today, his name is Dave.

He's just such a beautiful, beautiful being, and he's having an issue with sleep. But where the episode ends up is completely different than you would think. And so that said, even if you are somebody who does not have an issue at all with sleep, there are valuable insights that you can take from today's episode and apply to your life, because it actually ends up going to a common emotional pattern that a lot of people have.

Who just really bury it. And for a lot of people, this is affecting your life in one way or another. Not everybody, but a lot of people. And so for that reason, I just, I love this episode and I just love our volunteer, Dave. He is such a sweetheart. And so on that note, let's go ahead and dive in with our beautiful volunteer, Dave.

Here we go.

Hello. How are you? I'm doing all right. Thank you. How are you, Brandy? I am doing fabulous. Thank you. Happy beautiful day to you. And Absolutely. Absolutely. And what can I help you with? I know that you fill out a form to come on and I have not read the form. That's okay. I can tell you. So my whole Concern is about sleep and sleep deprivation.

Okay, it's a problem I've had Throughout my life, and as I've gotten older, it seems like it's getting worse, and I've tried lots of different things, and I thought it might be good to talk to you about it, and I could imagine that a lot of listeners Also struggle with this kind of issue. So it might be a really good session that, uh, I'm sure a lot of people do as well.

So, uh, absolutely. So let's, uh, let's dive in. And you said that you've struggled with this for a long period of time. Uh, when did this first start? Uh, well, I would probably say it started around the age of eight. Uh, when I can recall that, uh, that it wasn't easy for me to fall asleep. And I would say that.

I would just fall asleep by nature without a whole lot of, you know, uh, difficulty, but it, it never felt totally comfortable. And I became cognizant of it when I was in college and I took, um, uh, it was like some sort of a psychology course or something. And you had to go through some sleep tank and they measured you and I couldn't fall asleep.

And I was like, yeah, I do have problems falling asleep. So we're talking about the age of 19 now. Okay. Where I had consciousness around the idea that falling asleep wasn't easy for me. And so, yeah, from then on, it was game on. It was just, you know, sometimes I could, sometimes I couldn't depending upon lots of different things, but it was never what I would say.

Yippee. I yo, it's time to go to sleep. I can't wait to jump in bed, uh, kind of thing. And I've known other people who they seem to operate that way. And I've never known it. I mean, I'm like, I've had partners who like, Oh, good night. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, uh, good morning, you know, and so it's definitely definitely something that's, that's wired in me or something happened to me.

And, uh, I mean, I don't know how candid you want me to be on the show, but I'm happy to share. Lots of candid truths. And if you need to edit them, you're feel free to edit them. Perfect. Um, that sounds great. And for the most part, we don't edit. Um, so everything's just raw and how it is, which is great. Um, but, um, if anything comes up, we'll do, we'll, uh, we'll take care of it.

So, um, give me one second.

Here we go. All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love him. I love this man. He's so sweet. He's so precious. He's so open. He's just like, whatever you want. It's just, it's beautiful. And you're going to absolutely love his self awareness. He is very tuned in.

Just a beautiful being. And he also mentioned something about editing. And I said, you know, we don't really edit. And it's funny timing because the last episode with Sophia, the one who had had the stroke, If you recall there was kind of a lot of editing to hers and it wasn't editing of content so we always keep the the core information but you know it was speeding up her speech so that it sounded a normal pace and then also just in full transparency if I mumble something or if it takes maybe like 15 seconds to answer or something like that or even longer.

You know, if there's a pause in the session or something like that, of course, we take those out so that you're not sitting there waiting with silence for 15 seconds or whatever it is. So those are taken out. The only other thing that's ever really taken out is if somebody mentions a family member or a person's name, because as you may have picked up on from past episodes, I always like to just do that first initial, just Then it's not revealing for anybody else, but the person who's present.

So that's typically the only editing that's there isn't, you know, not typically any content or insights. It's just sometimes a bit of cleaning up, you know, for pauses or anything like that. So that said, just always want to be impeccable with wording. So mentioning that, and again, as far as where this episode is going, I know we've started with sleep, but.

As far as where this episode is going is much different than you may expect. So that said, let's go ahead and dive in with Beautiful Dave. Here we go.

All right. So first and foremost, if I ask you, do you like to go to sleep? Yes, I do. Okay. I love naps. Okay, great. And by the way, how do you do when you go to sleep for a nap? Fantastic. Mm hmm. Fantastic. I can close my eyes and I'm out in five minutes. Exactly. That's exactly where I'm going. So, notice it's not sleep that there's a problem with.

It's going to bed at night there's a problem with. Do you notice that? Yes. Okay. Yes. Interesting. Would you agree? I think that is interesting. Yes. So, there is a feeling as a kid of feeling like if you were going to go to sleep, you were going to miss out on something. Are you familiar with that feeling?

Yes. Yes. But it's more like. Something bad might happen to me than miss out on something good. Okay, and I would, um, there's a feeling, if I ask you, uh, can you give me your mother's initial please? Uh, sure, M. Okay, so really it feels like, so the first feeling that comes up, bingo. Is a feeling as though it's almost like your, your parents have company or friends are over or people are over and you have to go to bed early while there's guests there.

Um, are you familiar with that feeling from childhood? I'm, we weren't a very social family. So I, uh, I can't say that, but you're onto something. Um, I'll tell you what it is. And you're bringing up a memory for me now. And the memory is I want to fall asleep. Before they fall asleep. It's, it's like, there's something about there's, there's the TV on, there's stuff going on and I'm okay as long as all that's going on, but when all that shuts off, if I'm not asleep at that time, I'm in some sort of a, some sort of a fear.

Now, we're talking about young. We're talking about four, five, six years old. Like, I'm not okay. Bingo. I agree. Give me one. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Go ahead. When everyone else, when everyone else is asleep, I'm no longer okay. Okay, and I see as you were even saying that, there's a feeling as though something is under the bed.

Are you familiar with that feeling? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean not We're talking about childhood right now. Not today. But yeah. Yeah. Yes as a child Yes, you're absolutely right. There was that sense. Yes Okay, and um, give me one second now what's happened and what it feels like um, give me one second bingo Bingo.

So actually what I, what I see is this, is there's also this, um, protector in you. Are you familiar with that feeling of, it's like, um, it's both got fear and it's also a feeling like you have to be a protector to stay awake to protect in case anything happens. Are you familiar with that feeling? Yeah, I can relate to that.

Okay. So that is the feeling. So if I check your energy in the past week, uh, the feeling of, Listening for something to happen. Uh, zero to 10 is about a what level? Seven. Uh, like you have to stay alert and acutely aware and listening for something to happen if it has. So it's like part of your brain wants to stay alert and pay attention.

Yes. Yes. You're, you're familiar with that. Okay. So that's the difference as to why naps feel easier because they're during the day and so it feels safe. But then at night there's that feeling of feeling like I have to stay alert and acutely aware at night. Okay. in case something happens. Um, are you, you're familiar with that, right?

Yeah. Yes. I love your self awareness. You're amazing. You're amazing. Uh, so give me one second. Bingo. Um,

all right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment, you know, first and foremost, I love his self awareness and self honesty and just the way he checks in just Beautiful. And there's a powerful insight, the powerful but subtle insight here that I want to point out. It's that notice we're going back and forth between kind of his childhood self and his adult self.

And if you think about in his childhood self, when we're talking about, you know, there's fear as a kid, going to sleep. And then as an adult, where there's more of a protector coming out, what you'll want to notice. is of course that it's the same pattern, it's the same underlying feeling, but a different response to this.

And while this may seem to some people like it's insignificant or not so important, it's profound. And the reason for that is is because all of the time people will have patterns and instead of really releasing their patterns completely, they find different ways to cope with them or to deal with them that feel good.

Like, okay, well I'll just be strong and, and alert and, and so it feels good. But the problem is, is that the underlying pattern doesn't go away. In which case it can still affect your health and your life and what you're manifesting as we can see in this case. And not only that, but when we start to, you know, a lot of times if we start to react in an assertive way towards the pattern, then we start to see it as less of a problem because we're dealing with it in a different way.

And while that is definitely better than, you know, him feeling fearful, every night, it's still impacting his health. And that is what is key. It's this sneaky little thing. So sometimes people will have patterns that they don't even realize are affecting their health because the way that they're coping with it.

It feels strong, feels assertive. And so just kind of wanting to point out that powerful, but subtle insight for you to see even as you're looking at your own patterns, but really changing the subconscious programming in that through line, that underlying feeling that's going on in the subconscious mind.

That of course is key for getting results in health and life. So just profound insight. The end. Let's go ahead and dive back in with Dave. Here we go.

Okay. And that's the feeling. So give me one second. Okay. So there's a feeling and of course it feels very ingrained in your nervous system. There's like a feeling of feeling for lack of a better expression, like afraid of the dark, like a fear that things are going to happen in the dark. Okay. So can you find that?

Okay. So that, and I would say as a child, definitely. Yes. I'm not afraid of the dark now, but it's the same resonant feeling, right? There's a, so if I could characterize it, I would say it's, it feels the same, but it's not like I am that. If that makes sense. Exactly. Which is, yes, that's why I said now this is a protector.

So the adult version of that is. Well, I'm not going to be afraid of it. I'm going to have a, it's like a negative expectation of the dark. Whereas a child with that negative expectation, there was more fear. And now as an adult, there's more assertiveness of, I just have to be alert and pay attention type of feeling.

Okay. So that's part of it. So again, I love your awareness. So give me, give me one second because there's another part too. So, the word expectation is a very strong link, so, so it just wants to, so if we evaluate it, okay, what do you expect, okay, so that's one piece, bingo, that's the key piece, actually. So, um, you know, I see it very clearly, but what I'm trying to figure out is where it's from, and sometimes it comes from people watching a movie.

And they see a movie and it scares them and they feel afraid to sleep because they're going to die in their sleep. They feel like somebody's going to kill them in their sleep. And yours is very much like a feeling of, feeling like you could die in your sleep. Like, not from natural, you know, from health issues, but from something happening.

You're familiar with that, right? Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Um, and I, and I think if I can tap into something, I think you're onto something, right? Um, I was sexually abused as an eight year old by a priest at nighttime, and ever since that happened, there was this overwhelming sense of not being safe.

Okay, so there is this safety thing as well, like I expect maybe I'm not going to be safe. Maybe I'm not strong enough to take care of myself, you know, but again, this is unconscious because consciously I feel, I feel great when I go to bed, I feel great. I have, I'm honest with you. I have no fear when I go to bed, but there's something in me.

No, there is like this, there's been this masculine energy on top of it. That's like, I'm not gonna be afraid. I'm assertive. I just need to listen. So it's like, I hear literally feel like your ears perked up to stay on alert, to listen to every little noise. Uh is actually what it feels like on this so it doesn't feel like it feels like a like overly safety concerned over over zealous almost almost like this, um over awareness if hypersensitivity Exactly extreme alertness.

So your brain is so alert. It can't go to sleep because it's got to be alert Um, so give me give me one second. Let me just check into you mentioned the priest. Um, give me one second That bingo. Okay, so I don't see it Specifically, give me one second. Oh, actually, all right. I'm gonna let me just look in a little different direction.

Give me one second Binga that's what it is Okay, so if that was gone, bingo. Okay, so, um, so inside of you there is a, a pattern of shame. Are you familiar with that pattern? Sure. And so when I said initially that it wasn't connected to the priest thing and all of that, what actually comes up is, Is that there's actually a, a through line of, uh, like a, an emotional pattern of shame that is actually connected to it.

Um, and by the way, if I ask you how much you can find the feeling of, uh, shame when you really check into your, your inner self. You want to know the number from zero to 10? Yeah, okay, so if I go back again, we're talking with two different dimensions here We're talking about me as a child and me as an adult as a child.

I lived I lived in chronic shame I was shamed constantly. So it was it was indelibly written into my DNA as a child I knew nothing but shame that was the home I grew up in so So for sure I had this pattern as a child ingrained in me that you're not worthy you're you know a million different aspects and qualities of shamefulness And exactly I can relate to that very strongly now.

I've done a lot of work on myself So I can't say that i'm consciously, you know in shame But again, it may be still in my dna or in my cells. I don't know Okay, so if I check, uh, if I check into your energy even, um, a few things. Okay. So first and foremost, kind of just connecting the dots, is that part of the feeling of fear of dying?

Um, the way that I see it tying in from your childhood is actually there was so much shame that, uh, it actually feels like, uh, like you didn't, like you felt like you didn't deserve to live because of all the shame. So that's the connecting of dots. Got it. Do you see that? It makes sense. So, okay, so, but if I come, okay, so if we come current, um, six, give me one second, I would say that I still see shame in your current reality also, and, um, and it doesn't look like it's a conscious thing, um, and I, and I would say it has to do with sexual intimacy.

Um, still that, uh, feeling of shame, uh, inside. Are you familiar with that? Okay. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. Well, I mean, I'm gay, right? So, there was a lot of shame around being gay. A lot. Because I grew up in a different, in a different era. I didn't grow up in today's way of being. It was a different time when I grew up.

And so there, and I still think there may be some shame about that wrapped into me somehow, some way. I get it. I absolutely understand. I get it. I grew up at the same time before being gay was cool or accepted. So, I'm with you. I'm with you. So I think, I think you're onto something. I think there is some, I think you're onto something, right?

There's something there. And this may sound nutty to you, Brandy, but you've probably heard everything. So probably nothing sounds nutty to you. But like, if, if I am being sexual in some way, if I'm fantasizing about someone I just met, or if I'm in a sexual relationship, I have a harder time falling asleep.

It's very true. You're very, you're onto something. I have a harder time falling asleep if I've met somebody and I'm thinking about them. And then it's like, I shouldn't be doing this. Uh, you're right. You're up. You're there's something there. There's no question about it. Great. I love it. I love your awareness.

You're amazing. I love your awareness.

All right, so let's go ahead and actually pause the session right here. You know, I just love his self awareness and his transparency and his authenticity. Just beautiful. You can feel it, you know, just radiating from him. What a beautiful, beautiful being. And I want to take a moment to really unpack where we are.

And to be honest, there are multiple things that that we could unpack right now, and we will, but I want to take a moment to talk about shame connected to sexual intimacy, because it's a common issue for a lot of people, for a variety of different reasons. It could, you know, be because of, of course, being gay, or because a lot of times people will have patterns growing up in childhood.

that sex is bad, or sexuality in general is bad, or your private parts, so to speak, are bad, or you know, a whole number of things can get linked up, or even, in a lot of people's childhood, there's been some type of exploration where they're exploring parts with, you know, maybe the neighborhood kid, or something like that, and they get in trouble, so that gets linked up, or Unfortunately, cases like this where there's some type of sexual abuse from an adult.

And then, of course, what happens is all of these emotions from childhood run throughout your lifetime, you know, unfortunately. And so for that reason, because this topic has come up, I want to invite you to take a moment to identify how you want to feel about this. Uh, And your sex life and your intimacy.

Like, how you really want to feel and to decide that as an adult. Because so often, you know, we get caught in those feelings of feeling bad or shamed or you shouldn't do this or shouldn't do that. And it's like you're caught in this spiral that you never really stop and think about. How do I want to feel instead?

And so, that's actually where I want to pause this episode. And of course, we're going to go ahead and continue with the second part of this episode next week. I just want to invite you to really look at this in your life. And you may have an amazing sex life and feel really great about sex. And maybe even thinking about this question, you may up level that.

Or you may not. You may have a sex life that is non existent, or that you do feel bad about, or you have underlying guilt or shame about it, and you know that, and maybe it's blocking you from having a healthy sex life. for one reason or another. And so that said, before we move forward into the next part, just because the next part of the session, as we move forward in the session, it's going to go in a much different direction than you probably would expect.

And so I want to just kind of take that checkpoint here, process the information before we go in that direction. So I want to invite you to do that. And by the way, maybe this is an exercise that you do with your partner or spouse or loved one or whomever that might be. So just want to invite you to do that and on the next episode, we'll continue on to the next level.

And as always, I want to ask you to please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share with somebody you love. Somebody you care about, somebody you don't even know, kind of just sharing the insight, the awareness, the expansion. And I want to invite you to really step into that in your life because intimacy can be such a beautiful way to connect in this physical world.

We get to be in these physical bodies. So one of the many pleasures of life is we get to, you know, enjoy life, enjoy the physical body, enjoy physical intimacy and sex. And it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. of connecting, and even if you think about it for a moment, when we connect sexually, there's a lot of positive biochemistry.

Like our, our body's biochemical response tells us that human connection and that intimacy It's a great thing, you know, a lot of good, positive, wonderful feelings. And so on that note, I want to invite you to do that and also connect this with the other insight we were talking about, about patterns and maybe look at how you're really feeling or maybe some underlying patterns that you may have.

from childhood and look at possibly changing those. So that's what I want to invite you to look at. And of course, on the next part of this episode, we will take it to the next level. I look forward to seeing you there. Have an incredible rest of your day.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself Change. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your [00:34:00] mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on [00:35:00] in our minds at a deeper level than people. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website@brandygilmore.com slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.