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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love today's episode and our volunteer. It's just beautiful. And the insights that come from today's episode are definitely very unique.

And today's episode takes some twists and turns and just, and highlights some of the complexities when it comes to self healing. And from this new perspective, it really does help you to see just healing in a breakthrough sort of way. And, you know, on last week's episode where I worked with our beautiful volunteer, Noel, that Episode was also just so insightful because you could see her triggers.

And even when I kind of took her back into the negative emotions and her triggers came back, her dystonia. So if you remember in that, in that episode, she had had. Dystonia in her foot. And so it was clenching at a level 10 and when she was shifting her mindset, you could see it come down. And then when she went back into the old mindset, you could hear her as she was talking, you know, it came back up.

And so, by the way, what's beautiful with Noelle, just a beautiful, beautiful being, is that she just messaged in the other day and she said, She was just, she's ecstatic. She goes, I have kept it down. She's kept it down at a level three, which was beautiful. So it went from a level ten to a level three and she's working through the fears.

But she's, she's just like, she was mind blown. She, and it was just in the sweet way, just life changing and that's what she is. Precious. And that's what I love. That's what I love. You know, going through my own injury, just feeling stuck for so long on how to heal myself and trying everything from binaural beats to meditations to frequencies to so many things and having it not work for years and years and years and years and years and then figuring out, wait a second, there's a different way to work with the mind where we can get radical results.

And so that's what's incredible and also What's beautiful is that we can see the complexities because I always, when I'm working with people, I always say, I make this look very easy. You know, you'll see somebody even under medical equipment where I'll show them how to use their mind. And you see on the scan where their pain, their scan, the, the image.

The thermal medical image starts out red, and as I work with them, it changes to green. see the pain go away, and I just emphasize, I make it look so easy, and again, that's one of the things that I love about today's video. Volunteer and, and the episode today is that you can see that there's depth to it.

And you can also see the blocks and how there's some complexities. And so that's really ultimately one of the many things that I love about today's episode. And I have to say, our volunteer is so expressive and heartfelt and it's like you can have so much compassion for her and also her self awareness and the way she shows up with strength, with determination.

is also really beautiful. So I just, I, I love today's episode. There's so much goodness in it and so many insights from it. And our volunteer, just her heart and again, the compassion and also excited to see her make this change. And so on that note, let's go ahead and dive in with our beautiful volunteer, Shirley.

Here we go.

Can you hear me? Yeah, I can now. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. How are you doing? Uh, not great. Not great. Oh, what can, what can I assist you with? Um, well, I sort of understood that we were going to have a little bit of a session in how you do healing. Yeah. And you help people to heal. Absolutely. So, uh, so then what, what's going on with your health?

What, what are you experiencing? Um, I've been, I've been ill since I've been 18. Okay. I can't see your face by the way. So. Oh, sorry. It's just not a good day. So I'll try and. Okay. Sit up if I can. It's just You see, you can I know You can lay back down. You're okay. I got you now. So So, yeah. I got sick when I was 18.

Uh, sort of the chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, all that environmental stuff. And then five years ago, I got really ill, uh, bedridden, chronic Lyme, mast cell activation, gone into cell danger response, um, yeah, and just, you Nobody can figure it out. You know that it doesn't sound like fun. It's not. It's horrible.

I get you. I get you. I get you. So if I ask you, uh, you said it's a, it's a bad day right now. So if I ask you as far as pain, fatigue, what's bothering you the most right now? Uh, it's a, it's like a no energy, almost like even no energy to talk. Okay. Like I, I find that I'm so weak that I'm literally shaking.

Okay. And, um, And if I ask you as far as pain, like right now, zero to 10, what's your level? About a five. Okay. And where's your pain located? It's throughout the body. And, uh, that's what I would say about a five, five, six, somewhere in there. So I feel you. Okay. So, um, all right. So give me one second. Okay. So number one, there's a feeling of a feeling like furious inside.

Are you familiar with that feeling? Yes. Cause I've tried. Everything to get better. I, I hear you. I hear you. But in the.

So, uh, so I get it. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you, yep, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Now, I can't tell if it's a brother or a dad, but I'm thinking, do you have a brother? No. Okay, dad, uh, what is your dad's initial? Uh, do you want to know his actual first initial or what he went by his first initial?

Give me both, actually. So it's H J, and he went by J. Bingo. Go back to that. There we go. So go back and say J. Jay? Bingo. So, um, bingo. If I ask you how much there was a part of you who felt like he was a bit mean, what would you say? No, not mean. What would you call it? Um, I want to say that old fashioned kind of Controlling?

No, he wasn't controlling. What would you call it? I'm just trying to find the right word. It's not, it wasn't distant, but it was So you're trying to say disconnected, maybe?

No, because in fact, I think my dad and I were very connected, especially later on in life because he became ill. And so we sort of had that in common, but he was of that older generation where you didn't talk about feelings. You didn't, he was sort of matter of fact, but he was very loving and giving. So it was very supportive financially for me.

So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Can you give me your mom's initial, please? And can you say J for your dad again, please? Uh, and do you have any other siblings? Can you give me their initials, please? B and M. Okay, and can you go back to, uh, your dad as J? J? Bingo. Bingo. Yes. Okay, so let's go like this.

If I ask you growing up, zero to ten, how much you were afraid to get in trouble? Zero to ten, what would you say? Uh, an eight. Yes, you're laughing. But more my mom than my dad. Okay, so, uh, bingo. Okay.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick minute, you know, first and foremost, I love her self awareness, I love her self honesty, and I also want to just highlight that for a moment how she is a good person, but she's had this feeling of fear of getting in trouble and We're going to go even deeper into it because there's actually some key things to unpack here.

But the point that I want to highlight is that emotions don't make logical sense. So one person could feel terrified of a puppy or terrified of dogs, even if the dog is very nice. And so noticing that a person can feel terrified of getting in trouble, even when they have Loving parents, they can feel intimidated or scared.

And those are the emotions that come up. And a lot of times what can happen is we can just ignore our emotions. We can say, Oh, well, I know that I shouldn't be. And so we can have those feelings and then say, well, I shouldn't be. And, and instead of, instead of just ignoring them and burying them, it's really important, of course, to genuinely love them.

Shift them and transform them. And also to notice many times that it can be other triggers that are connected to them that are actually creating a bigger issue. And that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer. Shirley, here we go. I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

And I want you to notice the part of you that feeling of feeling afraid to get in trouble. You can see that, right? Okay. And you said about a level 8 growing up, correct? Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. Thank you. And if I ask you to notice the part of you that felt like you were bad, 0 to 10, what would you say?

In, sorry, that, that I was bad? Yeah, just felt like you were bad. Not that you were bad. Okay. Felt. Oh, felt. Not that I was. Exactly. Okay. Felt. Six. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you just for a moment to admit and notice how many banks you've robbed growing up.

How many banks did you rob growing up? None. None. None. None. And wait, how many cars did you steal? Okay, so are you sure that you were bad? So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.

Notice that breath you just got. There's a lot coming up. Uh huh. What's coming up? That I was born. I know, how horrible that you conceived yourself. I mean, that miraculous and horrible all at the same time, right? So how did you do that exactly? I don't know. I just, I just know that I was an oops and that they really didn't, they loved me, but they really didn't want me at that time.

Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. So either you're unwanted or you were a gift. You were manifested for a reason. What would you say? I was a gift. You were a gift. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And notice how much hurt you have around this. A lot.

So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And so, are you finally allowed to live life now? I don't know. There's something in the way. Mm hmm. So, I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and there's a feeling of feeling like you're not supposed to. Not from anybody else, but from you, like you're not supposed to. You're not supposed to be here.

You're not supposed to blah blah blah. You're unwanted. Okay? So, I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice, just for a moment, if I ask you to notice how mean you are to yourself, what would you say? Okay, I would have said a 6, but we'll go with your 5. Yeah, 5 or 6, yeah. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And I want you to notice, even though your father wasn't mean, I want you to notice the part of you who felt like he was mean as a kid. Can you see that? Like felt, like he was, we'll call it strict.

It was strict, but distant because my parents Okay, yep, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. I don't want you to go deeper into it, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I want you to let go of the feeling of strict. There's nobody that's strict. There's nobody. You have your own life. You're an adult.

There's nobody who's strict. You can let go of the strict feeling. What would it feel like to let go of the strict feeling that you're free? There you go. There is no more strict. There's freedom. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. You can let go of the strict that doesn't actually exist. I hate to tell you this, Santa Claus doesn't exist either.

Did I just ruin things for you? I did, huh? No, we're good. Okay, good. So strict doesn't exist, Santa Claus doesn't exist, and we're okay, right? Like, I didn't burst any bow, like, okay, you're, we're good. Okay. And, uh, and you're actually supposed to be here because even though they weren't planning for you, you were manifested and you're actually kind of supposed to be here.

Unless of course the universe screwed up, in which case we should really take this up with the universe on its mistakes that it has made.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, two things real quick. First and foremost, notice I have a ridiculous, silly, playful sense of humor or even dry sense of humor in creating a bit of a shift. And just to highlight, I did this during my own injury. I would say that I developed a lot of my sense of humor or playfulness in my own injury during that time.

To be able to deal with the things that I was going through and to not get stuck in the negative. And so, by the way, if you are somebody who is in a very hard situation, I strongly recommend doing so. Now, I want to be very clear though, that sometimes people will develop a sense of humor and really bury what's really going on.

And hide it or ignore it. And so they kind of use it as a coping mechanism, but also a burying mechanism, if you will. And for me, when I used it, like, even if you think about this situation where I'm saying, Oh, it's the universe's fault and I'm, I'm being ridiculous and playful about it, but also addressing what's there.

And so. During my own injury, if you asked anybody around me that during that time, they, they probably would have said exactly that, that I grew a sense of humor about it and I was determined and I was ridiculous in that, you know, just being playful. Just trying to have a sense of humor about things like, um, just anything, my cane, kind of making fun of that, or my wheelchair, or just all of the things, you know, just anything that I could make fun of or make light of or be silly about, I did.

And um, and so that's what I would invite you to do. Not in a burying. Sort of way, but just in a way that allows you to breathe and also then address what, what's really needed and notice I'm doing that exact thing with her. And so, and you'll notice on every episode, there's a part of me that is playful and ridiculous or, or.

You know, dry sense of humor, whatever sense of humor or playfulness that I need to make the situation ridiculous. So even on the last episode, when I mentioned with, with, with, uh, Noelle, I mean, I was ridiculous and playful with silly things and her needing to know sports, you know, just in a playful way.

And so notice there's that thread throughout, and that is something that I really learned. through my injury to do. And so I don't want anybody to ever think, well, I'm making fun of a situation or making light of it. And I've spoken about that before, even on past episodes where, you know, somebody even on this session right here, where she comes in and she says, I'm dealing with this.

And I'll say something like, you know, that's not fun or I don't recommend that to anybody or yeah, you know, things like that, because starting to pull yourself out, um, especially when it's really hard and frustrating and challenging is something It takes a willingness to want to do. And so just food for thought with the playfulness and, and to be on a serious note, I'm obviously not saying the universe messed up or God, divine energy, whatever it is.

So I'm, I hope you catch the, the, the humor, the dry humor in this, and also the pivot, the shift in it. And so there's that, by the way, also just to note some of her responses. are kind of quiet. And so just for anybody who is only on audio, I want to invite you to know that this is also a video podcast. So I, I've been playing with doing some in some of these sessions on video as well.

And so if you're somebody who does prefer video, if you go to the show notes, you can actually watch this on video. So just food for thought. If you're somebody who would prefer to actually see this, and also just saying that because some of her Responses, she might be shaking her head to or laughing too.

And it's, it's a bit of a silent response. And so you might get more, uh, of actually her responses, um, on a visual, uh, just visually. So, uh, and of course I'm also commenting to them. So for anybody who is visually impaired, I am continuing to summarize her responses as well. So you can also get everything you need as well.

Audio. As well. So just by listening. All right. So that said, there is more depth and what you'll notice is as we continue on, there's a lot more wounding here and you'll see some of the complexities where pain is going down and then, yep, you'll, you'll see, you'll see. So on that note, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Shirley.

Here we go.

So I'm just curious when you're going to start being nice to yourself, by the way, just, just trying to just take an inventory of when that might be. Yes. That's changing a pattern, right? Oh, okay. Changing a pattern. I ask actually people to do that all the time actually, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe.

Great. So, I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I want you to notice your level of pain. Zero to ten, what's your level? Five. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I want you to notice your feeling of guilt. Guilty for being born, guilty for being here, guilty for this, guilty for that, guilty for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, guilty for not being better, guilty for being sick, guilty for blah, blah, blah.

Can you see it? Yeah, it's still huge. Okay, yep, yep, yep. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Who's doing that to you, do you think? Me. Oh, okay. When is me gonna stop? I don't know how to let go of survival guilt. Okay, bingo. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Yes, I agree. People should definitely feel guilt for surviving.

What is wrong with them? I mean, those, if you think about all of the messed up things people can do surviving. I mean, can you believe it? But my girlfriend, we went on a trip. Maybe, maybe we Very well. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And I know Justin has interrupted your story, but I want you to think about it for a moment. That it wasn't my fault. What? That it wasn't my fault. No. Bingo. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And what wasn't your fault? That we both went to France and she was killed and I came back. It wasn't my fault.

Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And yet I feel it. What? And yet I feel it was my fault. Okay. And why was it your fault exactly? What is your brain telling you? That I told her about the trip, that I told her to sign up, that I told her I didn't want to go without her. Okay. And how old was she? 17.

Mm hmm. And are you done punishing yourself? I have a quick question for you, by the way. Okay. So if I ask you,

how did you, how did she die? Train accident. Okay. And you were driving the train? No. Oh, you're God. Okay. And you, okay, so wait a sec, how was it your fault again? Driving the train. You worked on the train to then make it mess up? Like what exactly did you do exactly? Okay,

so I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And again, I want you to notice the part of you that's being very mean and punishing yourself, feeling like a bad person. How long do you want to do that for? I'm assuming you're over 21, which makes it, this was at least four years ago.

So I'm going to ask you to breathe. It was 50 years ago. Oh, okay. So, uh, how many more years do you want to punish yourself? None. Okay. So, have you ever wondered why she manifested that? Yeah, I don't know. What? I don't know. Oh, wait. You were in charge of manifesting her life? Is that Like, how many people's lives do you manifest for them, by the way?

None. Oh, okay. So, I'm gonna ask you to breathe. So what do people like just come up and ask you for things like hey, I would like to manifest this and then you manifest Okay, so there is Santa Claus and it's you Now I'm gonna ask you to breathe and how many people's lives do you control exactly zero except for your own right your own So I'm gonna ask you to breathe

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I think we can all obviously have so much compassion for her and also I'm impressed at her self awareness and her self honesty is really beautiful. And of course. Needing to create a real change is going to be key.

Now, something we can highlight here is this, is that notice she has a patterned way of thinking and feeling that things are her fault. Even being born is her own fault. She, it's, it's her fault. And so if you think about it for a moment, anything that's happening or whatnot is quote unquote, her fault. Her fault.

Now, obviously it's not. And that's why I say, Oh, you're manifesting for this person and you're manifesting for that, for that person. But that is her brain's patterned way of thinking and feeling. And that is something that is extremely important to highlight. And notice for a moment, this patterned way of thinking and feeling even started back in her childhood about being born.

And so a lot of times, the reason that People, of course, feel stuck with health issues is, and that's the very thing that I see at these chronic issues is they have patterned ways of thinking and feeling that are unconscious to them or that they feel like are a hundred percent true and they don't change them.

And so as you can see, it's not just one situation or there's all of these situations big and small and on a regular basis. And, and so. Basically, to create that real change, she would need to develop a different patterned way of thinking and feeling. Now, of course, as you hear me say all the time, there are multiple ingredients, and so there are multiple pieces that need to change.

But what I I love about this insight right here is you can see the patterned way of thinking and feeling like things are her fault that don't even make sense. So, you know, here I bring in the example of Santa Claus. So again, going back to the sense of humor and playfulness, even when she's in this pain, but you know that, wait a second, Santa Claus, what are you?

So, so bringing in this sense of humor to create that shift, but also noticing the reason that, you know, even in my own situation. I had been meditating for years and years and years and years and years and well, nothing against meditation. There can be some forms of meditation that are great and some that are not.

When I started just identifying the patterned ways of thinking and feeling that were affecting my physical body and keeping me from healing and then identifying those and transforming them. It was pivotal and as we can see her pain is starting to go down now There are other pieces and I'm going to tell you ahead of time a little bit of a spoiler alert There are some things that come up that actually trigger her pain to go back up very in and intense And so there's there's a there's several pieces To this, and that's where the complexities are.

But one you can see right here is the patterned way of thinking and feeling. And so all of the time, what people will do is they try to just go back to their childhood wounding and let it go and release that. But really ultimately what she needs is to establish. a new patterned way of thinking and feeling moving forward so that she sees things in a new way and then release the past.

So that's ultimately creating a real change. And so again, there's multiple pieces though, but you can see some of the complexities here. And that's what we're really talking about in this episode is, is you can see why people can remain very stuck. And also you can also, you know, see when you'll hear me time and time again, say, To create a real change to, or to, to heal yourself, it does take a genuine change.

And that's the reason that I emphasize it so much is that there are complexities and it does take a real change is because you can start to see some of them here and there are actually more coming up. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer. Shirley. Here we go.

Okay,

so there's a feeling, there's a pattern of feeling like I did something bad and I'm hiding it. Can you see that pattern? It's a feeling. It's a feeling. It's a feeling. Like, I'm the one that told her to go, and I'm the one that blah, blah, blah, and yada, yada, yada. If I ask you even from that, how much you can find the feeling of feeling like, I did something bad and I have to hide the fact that I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Can you see that whole story? Yeah. Okay. I don't know if I have to hide it, like to me, I think it's here. Okay. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. But yeah, maybe. Maybe. Bingo. There's a feeling of feeling like, if you will, hiding it or feeling like nobody knows what I really did. I really told her she had to go and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Can you see that? Yeah. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. But what if I do know exactly and I can see what happened and I still don't think it's your fault because you didn't manifest her life. It's kind of like this. Let's say that there's a little kid. Standing in the middle of the street and somebody jumps in front of the car.

That's coming and saves the little kid, but they die now did either they die Saving the kid's life and they tricked the universe So it was really the universe really like what was really going to manifest was the kid was going to die But then this person stepped in and they saved the kid or were they meant to die all along while saving somebody?

Because that was their pattern.

Yeah, okay Okay, yeah, so the thing of it is is Your friend was going to pass anyway. And that was her manifestation, and her unfoldment was a train wreck, while you, on the other hand, feel bad about everything under the sun, and feel guilty, and like you're not supposed to be here, and bad, and oops, and blah blah blah, and that's your pattern.

So it's like, Oh, okay, well let's mash your experience with my experience. And we'll call this a joint experience when really there's two people having their own experience. Makes sense. So when are you going to stop having your experience and living this mess? Your, your experience didn't create hers. She would have died in any other, like if she's meant to go and that's what she's manifesting.

Yeah, I do. Yeah. I, I do believe that. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So, how much longer are you going to feel like a bad person? How much longer are you going to punish yourself and feel like you don't get to deserve to live? Now, this is the thing. You feeling like you don't deserve to live came in at age four.

Okay? So, this is part of your side of the street. You don't deserve to live. You don't deserve to live. You don't deserve to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you see that? Like, even by the way. If you're sick, and how much was your dad helping you financially? A lot. And how much did you feel like inside, I just don't deserve to live, I'm not doing anything, I don't deserve to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's your pattern. Keep going. Yeah. Keep going. And it's interesting because when he died is when I got really, really sick. Okay. And, uh, bingo. So is that fear? Is that like, it's interesting that cell danger response is the cells. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so wait a sec, wait a sec. I can only like, let's, I don't want to overload your system.

So give me one second. Okay. So, uh, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, again, I love her heart. I love her self awareness. And also what I want you to notice in this moment is of course, I'm asking her to pause. I don't want her to overwhelm herself or get herself more worked up.

And in the beginning, we talked about also that she's got a lot of frustration. And the problem with it is this, is that the more we work ourselves up, if we get ourselves in a negative state regularly, not only is it not good for your health, but it keeps you from seeing what the problem is. And so. You know, one way to illustrate that is if you think about somebody who's really, really upset.

So let's say somebody walks in the room, they're really, really upset. They're upset. They're upset. How well can they understand? How well can you reason with them? If you were trying to reason with them, how well could you reason with them? Well, chances are not so, not so well. You know, if you try to talk to them, they might even get mad at you.

But if they calm down, how well can you reason with them? It becomes easy. You're going to have a great conversation. It's easier. And so you ultimately want to do that to yourself is make sure not to get yourself worked up. And also, you know, there are a lot of ways to, to start really shifting this. Of course, release techniques and different things like that, but even sense of humor we had talked about previously is me developing a sense of humor.

Developing a sense of humor would also keep me from getting myself worked up because what I did in my own life initially, because I had been meditating for years and years and years, I had polar opposite. I either needed to check out and meditate or I was frustrated and in the negative. So I started using meditation as a form of just checking out.

And so then that's when I started to realize, okay, wait a second here. I can't just check out. I can't be upset and stressed about things, we'll just check out. Let me develop a sense of humor about things. Let me start shifting. Let me start releasing emotions. Let me start creating that change. So the, the, the insight that I want to really highlight here is this, is that when I'm working with her, I'm interrupting her from going into that negative state.

And so if you have a habit of getting yourself worked up about things, you're going to keep your mind in an unresourceful state, and instead you're going to want to start. Shifting that so you're not getting yourself worked up. So that's an insight that we'll kind of unpack later on, but just wanting to point that out because in her case, if she keeps going into the extreme upset, the extreme frustration, it's like she's just keeping her mind stuck.

You know, it's like if somebody's frustrated trying to do something and they get more and more and more frustrated, and maybe you've done that before in your life, maybe you've been trying to do something and it was frustrating and trying to do something that was frustrating and then you calm down. And then you do it and hey, it works, you know, just a different energy of it.

And so of course to, to be more insightful with our minds, you know, the more we can be in, in just an insightful awareness, the more we can not get ourselves extremely upset. The more that we're going to have that, that self awareness and that self honesty and, and be able to change the world. And so that's part of the reason that I interrupted her as well.

So that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Shirley. Here we go.

Okay. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice how many different ways and how many different reasons you've told yourself you don't deserve to live or you're not supposed to be here. You don't deserve to be able to live. How many times have you told yourself that?

No. Okay. But you can see the pattern, correct? So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Give me one second. I want you to notice the lifelong punishment you've placed on yourself because of your friend. Can you see that?

So how much longer do you want it to go on? Now, by the way, let's say you had manifested dying, which don't do that. I'm not recommending it. That is not good for your health. Don't go that direction. Okay? Not for a long time. But, notice, if you had manifested a train wreck, or manifested being on that, obviously she didn't manifest a train wreck, but if you had, would you want your friend to spend the rest of her life punishing herself and feeling guilty?

So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So why on earth would you think it's a good plan for you? Why on earth would you think that that's a good plan for you? And why do you feel like, oh, but, but I told her I needed her to go and blah, who cares? You didn't manifest it for her. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

That was just your, your part of the thing. Again, it would have been somebody else or somebody else. It's kind of like this. The woman with the abusive father leaves him, finds an abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, et cetera. That pattern continues, right? So she gets rid of one abusive relationship and then what happens?

Another. Yeah. It's another. So the thing of it is, is if it wasn't her, it would be something else, or someone else, or blah, blah, blah. Like, you have to look at your own pattern. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. I have a pattern of fear. Yep. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. I'll let go of it. And by the way, this is a thing, watch this.

Okay, so if I say, I have a pattern of fear, what am I doing? Intensifying it, getting rid of it, or let it, what am I doing? Intensifying. Intensifying it. So I have to interrupt you because if I see you hurting yourself, I have to say, wait a sec, stop. Okay, now, by the way, it's kind of like this. Like if I ask you, so calmly, if I ask you to notice a level of fear, zero to ten, what's your level of fear?

Oh, it's like a nine. Okay. Someone asked you to breathe. Now watch this for a moment. I want you to notice the part of you that feels like you deserve to die too. Because of her. Can you see that? Now is that true? That goes on with your whole being born of feeling like you weren't supposed to live. Notice the same part of the same freaking pattern!

Okay, so it's part of the whole same thing that is, I don't deserve to be alive! Do you see? It started long before age 17. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now can you stop telling yourself that you don't deserve to live? That's silly. You see the pattern, right? So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice how much you felt like you were a burden on your parents because you were unexpected.

Can you see that? Zero to ten. Ten. Ten. Fifty, somewhere in there. And if I ask you how much you feel like you're a burden on your husband, zero to ten, what would you say? An eight. Seven. Seven? Nine? So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So how many more years until you change this pattern, would you say?

What? I don't know. Well, when? It's up to you. You're the power. You want to keep believing in silliness, then it's up to you. No, no. Go ahead. Keep believing in this silly pattern. Believe that somehow you're here on accident. The universe said, oops, oops. And you outsmarted the universe. Yeah, and you also manifest your friend's life for her look at you You've outsmarted the universe and you're not supposed to be here.

And wow, you are you Manifested your friend's life for her. I mean, wow You've done quite a lot Are you sure though? No. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. So, zero to ten, how much would you say you've outsmarted the universe to get here? Zero. So, why do you need to feel bad and like a burden? Oh, you created that.

Oh, okay. So, now you feel like this unwanted burden. Uh huh. Bingo. Now, if I ask you, by the way, bingo, how much you would say? There's a part of you that feels like your husband doesn't want you. What would you say? No, actually I wouldn't. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So if I ask you, how much would you feel like your husband just doesn't want you?

No, he loves me. I know he loves me. He loves me. He tells me every day. Oh! He loves you. Oh. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Thank you. And I want you to notice the feeling of feeling like I'm not supposed to be here. Zero to ten, it's like a twelve. You can still see that, right? The feeling. Yes, you tricked the universe.

Out of anybody I've talked to, you're the one person that's figured out how to outsmart the universe and got here. Does that make sense to you? Wait, wait, wait. I haven't outsmarted the universe. I feel like I've outsmarted myself. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. I'm making it ridiculous on purpose.

I know. Come with me. Come with me. So notice the story that you felt like you weren't supposed to be born and how much that affected you. You can see that. So I'm making it ridiculous on purpose. Come with me. Okay? Kind of like this. When you start to look at it as ridiculous, does it help you to let it go?

A little bit, yes. But if you embraced it, it was ridiculous. A little bit more. Do you think it would let you help you to let it go a little bit more? You know, I don't know because I still hear my father saying that. Bingo. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe.

So who do you think manifested you? I'm sure he had nothing to do with it though. Right. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Now do you think that he had some type of, uh, some type of responsibility for you showing up here? Of course. A little bit. Like a little bit of He'd probably have some type of role in that, right?

He did. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Breathe. So now what I want you to notice is this, is notice how I'm making things ridiculous and you're coming with me a little bit. Now, I want to invite you, like, this is the thing.

Can you change somebody who doesn't want to change? No, you can't. Right? So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and if I ask you how much you want to change, what would you say? Oh, I want to change. I want to change. Really? Really? So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. So, I'm going to

ask you to breathe.

And if I ask you then, how much are you willing to think in a different way?

Wait a sec. Wait a sec. I'm asking. No, no. That's the anger piece that we talked about, the furious piece at the beginning, right? That is either helpful for your health or not helpful for your health. Which one would you say? Not helpful. Not helpful. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. You can't go into anger on this.

Remember, the first pattern we looked at was what? The furious, yep, yep. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe.

Now notice for a moment, you're punishing yourself. And then you're angry that life is not going the way you want it to go. Meanwhile, you're punishing yourself. Correct. You could continue now. If I ask you how long you've been frustrated, pissed off, and upset, what would you say? 30 years. Okay, I would have said longer, but we'll go with 30.

So, so I'm going to ask you to breathe, and if it hasn't worked for 30 years, do you think it's probably safe to say if you did it for another 30 years, it wouldn't work either, right? So we have to do things in a different way, right? So I'm gonna give you the choice. You could be angry right now. You could be frustrated, furious.

You could do that all day long. Or you could change. Or you could change. It's your decision. I can't make you change. No. So you could be furious. You could be frustrated. Or you could change. What do you want? Change. Change. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Not like effing change right now. Okay. I like it.

I like the direction you're going. I like the direction you're going. Great, great, great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. What about, I want change right now. Is that the direction you want to go? No. So you're willing to start changing, right? Great. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. Great. So, you're willing to start changing more and more and more?

Yes. To let the anger go? Yes. A hundred percent? A hundred percent. I like that, and I like the smile, it looks good on you. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and you're willing to take in a feeling that you realize that you're actually supposed to be here? Yes. And you can stop feeling bad and like a burden on people?

Yes. Really? Yes. Great. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And you're just a burden on people. I mean, your husband doesn't even want you, right? No. Or he does, and loves you very much. He does. And he'd love to see you healthy? He would. Yeah, he would, wouldn't he? So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And you're willing to stop punishing yourself?

Bingo. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. Notice your level of pain, zero to ten, what's your level? Four. Bingo. Bingo. Give me one second. Bingo. That. That. Bingo. Okay, so I want you to notice also, um, That. That.

Bingo. Uh. Bingo. And I'm going to ask you, I want you to say your first initial, please. S. Bingo. So, I want you to notice the part of you who is only loving to yourself because you're ill. That. Can you see that? So in other words, let's put it in a different way. Are you willing to stop being mean to yourself?

Are you willing to stop telling yourself it's all your fault about your friend? Does it even make any sense? Unless, of course, you're creating her life. No.

So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So are you willing to stop telling yourself that nonsense that doesn't even make any sense? Yeah. The nonsense that doesn't make any sense. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

How much would you like to feed your mind with a bunch of B. S. for the next years and years and years and years and years that doesn't even make any sense? No. You're done? Done. And how many years did you fill yourself with this B. S. of feeling like it was your fault? And how many years did, like, it doesn't even make any sense.

It is just, that's, it doesn't even make any sense. Why on earth do you think you control her life? It doesn't make any sense. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

Bingo. And how many more years are you going to try to blame yourself and tell yourself a story that doesn't Good, good, good. Zero. Zero. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And how many years did you tell yourself this BS story that doesn't even make any sense and punish yourself for it? Two. You done punishing yourself?

Yep. You done feeling guilty? Yep. Bingo. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. Great. And I'm going to ask you to breathe. Notice your level of pain. Zero to ten. What's your level? Three. Bingo. That's what I would say. Bingo. That. That. Give me one second. Okay, so this is what your energy says. It doesn't trust you to be nice to yourself unless you're sick.

So you're anger feeling and, uh, give me one second. So, Furious. Give me one second. Bingo. That. That. Now, okay. So let's do this. Let's go this direction. So I want you to notice the part of you who interpreted your dad's words as though you were unwanted. And clearly, he didn't want you, right? You guys weren't even close, right?

You laugh. No. Wrong. You weren't close? Yeah, we were close. What? We were close. Okay. More towards the end of his life, for sure. More? Not in the beginning. Okay, so are you sure you were unwanted? How much did you tell yourself you were unwanted? Yeah, I did. Well, that's not very nice, and that's not very accurate.

And how much were you connected with your mom? Very connected. Okay, so how much were you unwanted? I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time finding this unwantedness. So it sounds a lot like somebody has been feeding you BS stories. Who do you think that might be?

All right. So let's go ahead and actually pause the session right here. You know, I love her heart. I love her self awareness. I love her self honesty. And also I'd really love. For her to shift these painful beliefs and feelings that she's had, even though there's a part of her who knows that it's not true.

And that's the tricky part is, you know, when you think about it for a moment, for part of your brain to feel something very deeply and the other part of your brain, to feel like it's not even true and yet it can impact your health and your life. It becomes tricky and that's of course exactly what we're talking about on today's session.

It has to do with complexities and you can see how much these emotions are impacting her just on a deeper level and again you can see how there's a part of her Who knows they're not real? It's just the complexity. And so for that reason, I do want to pause the session right here because as we continue with the second part of the session, so we'll, we'll continue with the rest of the session next week and unpack because there, there are so many insights from that as well.

So we'll unpack that next week, but right now I want to pause the session and I want to invite you to look at this in your own life and see if there's just something that you can apply to. Your life and your health and, and, and apply this in your, just integrate it. And something that you could look at is this, is you could ask yourself if there are emotional patterns that are going on in your life that aren't, that don't make logical sense, and if so, Genuinely shift them.

Look at transforming them. And I know even in my own life with my injuries, my patterns didn't make 100 percent logical sense. And I knew that. And I also ignored the very things that were impacting me. And for initially, and so I had to make that change. So that was one thing. The other thing that I want to invite you to do is look and see if there is a way that your mind is going into the negative or getting yourself, you know, more heightened, upset.

And notice if you have a habit of doing that, and if so, I want to invite you to look at maybe with some ways that you could start changing it and transforming it. Now, of course, in some cases, you know, really ultimately what you want to do is deeper release techniques to, to really change those. And if that's where you're needing to go, I get it.

And, um, and I have an entire video course that is packed with release techniques. So definitely come join me on a course. Um, they're incredible. And you can learn more about, you know, releasing and at a deeper level. And, but even right now, even from this, the takeaway that you can even look at in your own life is if you're getting yourself more and more stressed out, more and more amped up in a negative way.

And if so, even deciding. Something that you want to start doing instead, a different way to think and feel so you're not getting yourself more and more charged into the negative, because that will block you from being able to see with even more clarity. So those are the insights from today's episode.

And I want to ask you just to take a look at that in your own life. And if you know somebody who is struggling with pain, with illness, with challenges, I want to invite you to please do take a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know.

Because I know if you're going through a hard time, I know for me personally, when I was going through my injury, I I just was looking for the answers. And what I love about this episode is you can just see more of the complexities. You, it helps you to see the brain with even more clarity and the mind body connection with even more clarity.

And of course, as we delve in on, as we dive into next, the second part of the session, you'll actually see her pain go down further and you'll also see it go back up and trigger and you'll see some of those triggers come in. And so there's of course more to it, but I do want to, Have you to start just noticing and seeing that mind body connection and how Connected it really is and so and of course ask you to hit the share button on it You know share it with somebody you love somebody you care about somebody you don't even know because The more that every single person in our world feels happy and healthy and loved and loving, the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do hit the share button and please do have a most wonderful, incredible rest of your day and taking these in. It's ready to, you know, it's time for everybody. Just to live a happier, healthier, wonderful life. And so that is my hope for you. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

We'll see you there. Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point, and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is, For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore. com slash podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly. Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.