284: How Letting Go of the Need for Approval Can Heal Pain and Transform Your Life

What if your chronic pain wasn’t just physical but rooted in the emotional pattern of always needing to be approved of or validated by others?

In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Brandy works with Mary, a deeply authentic and courageous volunteer who has lived with chronic pain for over 34 years. Brandy shares insights on how a lifetime of approval-seeking, especially from family, has quietly fueled her suffering—and how releasing that pattern begins to shift everything.

As Brandy gently guides Mary through this healing process, you’ll witness firsthand how our thoughts, emotions, and energy shape our physical experience—and how creating even a small inner shift can open the door to lasting transformation.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the cycle of people-pleasing, self-judgment, or emotional overwhelm, this episode will speak directly to your heart—and remind you that change is truly possible.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

How approval-seeking can create energetic blocks and chronic pain

What it looks like to begin building true inner confidence

The exact moment Mary starts to release her pain—and how you can too

You are not alone in this. As you listen, you may begin to see parts of your own journey in Mary’s—and feel a gentle invitation to release what no longer serves you.

This episode offers more than insight. It offers a pathway inward—to the peace, clarity, and healing that are already within you.

Tune in now to reconnect with your heart, your body, and the innate wisdom that’s always been there, waiting for you to hear it.

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Do you have questions about self-healing? Do you want to know how self-healing works? If so you can simply reach out to us at [email protected]

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How can I heal myself from chronic pain or illness?
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Full Episode Transcript

(Please note, this is an AI generated transcript of this episode…)

Introduction

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life.
My name is Brandi Gilmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love. Today's episode for so many reasons. You know, one reason is one of the topics that comes up is the perfectionist is trying to be perfect and also an internal feeling of feeling not good enough. And there's other topics as well, as far as, you know, understanding feelings of rejection or feeling stuck or feeling in. Overwhelming. And so, and just the counterintuitive mind, I mean, there are just so many helpful insights from today's episode that it's, it's perfect. It's wonderful. I love it. And our volunteer, her name is Jean. You just absolutely going to love her. And, you know, there's so many things that I think a lot of people can relate to. I know for me personally. I used to have that feeling of needing to be the perfectionist so much, it just, it was, I had it from a young age and it was exactly that. I felt like I had to be perfect. And the interesting thing is, is once I let go of needing to be perfect, I felt so much relief because I thought that needing to be perfect was helping me to do a better job. And what I began to realize is it was just creating an insecurity because I wasn't perfect and nobody's perfect. Everybody's got their things, you know, their make, we're human, you know, at some time, at some point we're going to make a mistake. And if we're trying to hold onto this feeling of feeling perfect, then ultimately it also starts to show up as this. Like facade, if you will, because then you make a mistake and, but you're trying to hold yourself as being perfect. Then it's not authentic. And so it's like I know for me personally when I just let go of the feeling of needing to be perfect, it felt free, it felt authentic and not only that, but it didn't make me want to be less of an overachiever, you know, that has always been something that I've, Strive to do and be, is to show up at my best in a positive way, you know, to show up and do my best at what I'm doing. So it's still there, that's still there, but it's like the facade of needing to be perfect isn't there. And that feeling can be very freeing in so many ways. You know, part of what we're talking about in today's episode has to also do with relationships and feeling and manifesting relationship and being in love and connecting with people. And so there's just so many different ways that that perfectionist can hold you back. And of course, we're also going to talk about that's affecting her career as well. And so there's just, there's just a lot of beautiful pieces. And so that's where we're going today. And so I want to invite you to just have an open mind because some of what we're going to talk It is a bit counterintuitive, but if you have an open mind, you'll be able to see it in a new way. And as we dive in, I want to remind you that this is actually part two of Jean's session, meaning that when I worked with her, we worked for a. About an hour, almost somewhere in there. And so by the time I add in insights and whatnot, the episode would be two hours long and I don't want to create a two hour episode. So I broke her session into two pieces. And so on part one, we talked about last week where we started talking about the perfectionist. We started talking about that and just the awareness that her mind was racing because of. Trying to be perfect, trying to have the answer. And so her mind was, you know, racing all over the place. And there was some really powerful insights from that episode. So if you happen to miss that episode, you may want to go back and start there because there was some really profound insights from that episode. But today we're going to pick up where we left off and. Dive more into creating the change because on the last episode we talked about she's had some issues with her teeth and then also some issues with back pain and she asked the question, you know, what she was missing or what she was overlooking because she's been working with the mind for many, many, many years and yet still feeling stuck. And so that's where we're going as we dive in today is we're starting to unpack even more of that. of some of the deeper issues that are going on with loneliness and rejection and hurt and, and just unpacking that part. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer. Here we go. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, this is the other piece. Okay. So, uh, it feels like, um, I can't tell if it's a dad or a brother, but I think it feels like a brother. Did you have a brother? Do you have a brother? I have a brother. I have two. Bingo. Okay. And if I ask you zero to 10, how much you felt left out growing up, what would you say? Related to my brothers? Bingo. Well, I didn't do much with my brothers growing up. Okay. So, but if I ask you zero to 10, how much you felt left out, what would you say regarding to your brothers? Well, a hundred percent. Okay. So. This pattern of feeling like you're always the only one that's somewhere and somewhere and somewhere has to do with a feeling of feeling left at a young age. So there's always this feeling wherever you're going, where even if you're working in a center with other people, there's a feeling of feeling kind of left out. Does that make sense? It does. Great. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now I want you to notice also there's a part of you that feels very special for being left out as well. Like, notice there's a part of you, like if I said, bingo, like if somebody said, well, I'm the only one who does this and I'm the only one who does that. There's a feeling of feeling so uniquely special that creates a disconnect. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now notice in the average company, there's only one CEO, right? Now don't get me wrong. There are some companies that have co CEOs, but in the average company, there's only one CEO, right? So that person is always going to be lonely. Is that correct? No, they can connect with everybody, even if they're the only CFO or the only CEO or the only CRO or whatever, CMO, CTO, any of those positions, if there's only one of that position, they can still connect with everybody else in the, in the Connection, right? Okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe and everybody else in the company. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling that even though you're the only one who specializes in your area, you can definitely still connect with other people all around, right? Yeah, I do. I do. Bingo. That's what I'm wondering about is because I, I do, I connect with people well, I do, but it's, it's still that feeling, I still feel it even though I try, you know, I make those connections. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. And so I'm going to ask you to breathe, and if I ask you as far as a personal relationship goes, how's that going in your life? I don't have any. Uh huh. Exactly. And if I ask you if there's a part of you who's avoiding that part of your life, what would you say? I wonder if that's what's happening, because I do, I, I, I make, they never work. Uh huh. So notice the tears by the way coming up. Okay. So the thing of it is the reason that we went back to the the feeling left out is that there's that feeling left out of life where you said the feeling is always there even though I'm connecting with people and it's because there's that deeper feeling of feeling. Disconnected from brothers, but also disconnected from dating in a relationship. Does that make sense? Beautiful. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just absolutely adore her. What a sweetheart. And I want to share with you a powerful insight on this note really quick about feeling left out and feeling disconnected because all of the time I'll see people who are actually inadvertently increasing this feeling in their life and they don't realize it. So they're actually increasing the problem. Now to explain this, let's think for a moment, the awareness of emotions. So emotional patterns are more powerful. Then the vision itself and a simple way to think about it is like this is You know you'll hear me use all the time the example the unfortunate example of an a woman who has an abusive father and She might leave him and then find the abusive boyfriend boss spouse, etc Etc that pattern can continue or even the pattern of somebody feeling Criticized or again rejected or hurt or whatnot that pattern is can continue over and over and over again. Now my point is, is that not every single person looks the same. So it's not that they say, oh well this person looks just like this person who criticized me, who looks just like this person, who looks just like this person. So the vision, the look. Look isn't the same, but the feeling is the same. So the feeling is actually attracts more of the same and more of the same. Now from that mindset, I want to invite you to think about this for a moment is that notice she has a feeling of feeling disconnected, a feeling left out. Now a lot of times what I see people do is this. As they're starting to work with them, their mind, they work with meditation and you'll hear me say all of the time that there can be benefits of meditation. Absolutely. There can be benefits and there can also be a lot of side effects. to meditation. There can be both. Both are true. And by the way, that is medically proven that there can be some side effects to meditation. You know, um, research will typically call them, uh, meditation related side effects or meditation related adverse effects, so MRAEs or MRSCs. But either way, they're medically proven and documented that there can be. And of course Let's think about it for a moment. That doesn't, I'm not saying meditation is bad, I'm not saying it's good. But even if we think about water for a moment. If we drink water, it could be good for us, but if we drink too much water, it can actually kill you. Or, uh, driving a car. Driving a car can be great, and it can be freedom, and driving it the wrong way. is not good for your health. You could have an accident. Negative things could happen. So my point is we're just being honest with the data of what's real, right? Is that there can be benefits and also there can be negative effects. And so just looking at things objectively and that's the way of with working with the mind and by the way you'll hear me say all of the time even with emotions. You know, if somebody goes into their negative emotions, they can increase the problem, the pain, the negativity. And so that's true with anything you do with the mind is you just want to be honest with what's going on. And so if we look at this for a moment, we were talking about how she's had that feeling of loneliness and of feeling left out and disconnected. Now what I see happening. All of the time with people more and more and more and more and more is they then get into types of meditation and they're disconnecting even more. And so they're amplifying the feeling of feeling more and more and more and more disconnected from life, from people. And so they're inadvertently, you know, unknowingly. amplifying these emotions, programming them in more and more and more to feel increasing feelings of disconnect. And so I just want to say, if you have been doing that, I want to invite you to start working with your mind in a different way, just because I'm, I just see it happening so much like it is, it is happening more and more and more to the, it's just creating even more feelings of disconnect. So just food for thought on that. And of course. Then programming your mind for love and connection and creating a real change. And so that's part of where we're going. As we step back in with beautiful Jean, here we go. And if I ask you zero to 10, how much there's a part of you that's afraid of dating and feels like it's just not going to work anyway,

5, I love your awareness. I love your awareness. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

I love your awareness and I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Okay. And notice there's no emotions here, right? Wait, wait, wait. Just laugh. Laugh. Be light. It's okay. You see the emotions here, right? You get the tears. I feel you. I got you. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And it's okay. It's okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And the reason I say that is because notice the part of you who wants to be perfect. So going back to the perfectionist that is disappointed with yourself for having emotions here. Can you see that? Set in another way. Bingo. If I ask you how much you've been trying to bury these emotions. Until recently. Um. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, there's also a voice, a thought in your mind, uh, that says, I'm never going to find anybody. Can you see that? Um, I've been working on believing something different. Okay. And can you see the part of you that has felt like you're never going to find anybody? Can you see that? Yes. Yep. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, this is what you want to note. So there's a detail here that's important. Everything the mind does, it does for a reason. Okay. So watch this. Let's say I really, really, really want to manifest a dog, but by the way, I'm afraid of dogs at a 7.

How easy is it going to be for me to manifest a certain situation? If I feel like the right dog, the right situation, the right. If I feel terrified of dogs at a level 7. 5. Yeah. So bad analogy, because dogs are very easy to get, of course, but my point is. is that instead of trying to overwrite it, so notice what you said, so notice you said, I've been trying to tell myself something different, right?

And what I'm saying, so what am I saying? I'm saying if the fear is there, it's not going to be so easy to tell yourself something different. Instead, safety is what you need to work on, that it is safe to have an amazing relationship. So yes, you're trying to tell yourself something different. So it's kind of like, You have fear and you're trying to put icing on the cake and say, hey, it's going to work out great instead of actually fixing the What's broken? Does that make sense? I understand that. Fantastic. Fantastic So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and if I ask you zero to ten how much you ultimately Expect that you're going to be a get rejected in a relationship and hurt. Would you what would you say expecting to be rejected five? Think because I you know, I've what I've Been experiencing is. Um, each relationship gets better and better. So I, I, I keep going out there and I'm hopeful. The, the, the thing about fear, because I'm questioning the fear, because I thought I was, and I don't know if there's an overlap, I thought I was maybe fearing success in my career. And I'm questioning myself now, is it actually fear of a successful relationship as opposed to fear of being successful in my career? That's what I'm wondering. Okay, so it feels like, um, bingo, uh, it feels like around 2017, there's a feeling of getting your feelings hurt. Do you know who by the, who that was by? 2017. I, I wasn't, I wasn't dating anyone then. It's, um, Bingo. Uh, can you give me your, what's that? Bingo. Uh, can you give me your ex's initial, please? J. And, um, how long ago was that one? Um, we parted ways, um, in 2011. Yes. So, uh, oh, is J now in another relationship? Yes. Can you give me that person's initial, please? Um, I think it's an S. Bingo. So, so there's a hurt there is where the hurt is, um, and either like the, the feeling regarding, uh, that, um, well, yeah, I mean, he's had several relationships since we split up and it's only recently that I've been able to like be bothered by it so much less. Recently, like I've seen changes in that relationship with my ex. 'cause I recognize the hurt and the anger and the upset I had because of that. Really, I've had two long-term relationships, so, um, things are much better way, way better than they ever were before. Um, okay, but say 2017, back then, it was still a thorn in my side. Bingo. Okay. And bingo. Um, okay. So, uh, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Uh, bingo. And if I ask you zero to 10, how much you feel like Jay chose somebody else over you, what would you say? A million. Like really? Yeah. Cause that's what exactly what he did. Okay. Okay. So notice for a moment, if I said, if I reflect this to you and said, I've been so hurt, my ex chose somebody else over me at a million. And it's, I've had this thorn in my side that every single time Jay is dating somebody else and blah, blah, blah. Like every single time it's been painful. So painful. So painful. But by the way, I feel good about dating. Okay. So, so no notice, notice, right? It's been painful. That's what's true. It's been painful. Does that make sense? Okay. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, is Jay a faithful, a faithful type of guy? No. Okay. Now, have you seen him not be faithful with other people as well? So that means that next time you pick a guy who's faithful, right? That's what I'm working on. Great, great, great, great. So my point is, is this. Is that if we have a lot of pain and we tell ourselves like the same thing over, like, so there's a pattern to it. Number one. Okay. But also we need to, instead of saying all people are fearful, we just go, okay, we make a distinction on what we're going to do differently next time to make things better. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. And, uh, give me one second. Bingo. Uh, can you give me your mom's, um, your mom's first initial, please? M. And can you give me your father's first initial, please? S. Uh, and can you give me your brother's first initials, please? Both of them? Say it again? Yes, both. Both my brother's names start with P. Can you give me P1 and then P2? Uh, P1? And know which one it is in your mind. So, I need P1 and then P2. Okay, can you say P1? P1. And then P2? P2. Do you also have a sister? I have four of them. Bingo. Okay. And I'm sorry, can you give me their initials please also? Yeah. So, um, first one is S. The second one is E. The third one is M. Bingo. So, uh, so I'm going to ask you to breathe and notice M. Bingo. Okay. Uh, there's a feeling of feeling like M chose people over you. Uh, are you familiar with that? Um, no, but she's very black and white. You know, like she's in, I mean, she, there's a time when she asked me to choose. Like, she'd say, choose this or that. She's like, that's how she would tell me to do. But her choosing others over me, I've never Bingo. So, if I ask you if you felt rejected by her, what would you say? Yeah, disapproved of. Judged, for sure. Judged. She judges me. Okay, so I would have said, uh, a rejection and a fear of rejection from her. Uh, zero to ten is like a level eight, the fear of reject, like you don't want to mess up because you're going to get fear of rejection from her. Can you see that? No. Okay. So, uh. Bingo. Agreed? Yes. So, uh. Bingo. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you zero to ten, how much you felt lonely in your family? What would you say? My whole life. Bingo. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and if I told you that I have felt lonely my whole life, then part of what I'd ask you to start doing is start creating a feeling of connection, and then it's safe to connect, and a feeling of connection, and it's safe to connect. Okay, and that feeling of connection. So basically that's ultimately what you asked. What am I overlooking? Okay, and I would say that feeling so notice when we were talking about even dating with men and Having a relationship where I said you're trying to put icing on the cake and trying to be positive about it And I'm telling myself a different story. It's gonna work out. It's gonna work out And and what I'm telling you is I see a feeling of fear underlying that's from manifesting and, and that where you really want to fix the deeper layer that then feels safe to connect with people and that it feels good to connect. Does that make sense? Yeah. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. Again, I just love her. What a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful being. And I also love this insight because so often I see people doing this exact thing where they're really trying to reprogram the mind. They're trying to bring in affirmations. And as you recall, in the first part of the. Uh, session with her, you know, she mentioned she's really, really been working on really changing the story and changing the story. And so often I see people struggling to manifest what that they're wanting to create, or to really shift their life or their relationships, because it is that top layer. And they're trying to just, you know, put affirmations on it, or as they refer to it, you know, like an icing on the cake, if you will, without genuinely fixing that deeper layer. But that's where we create that real change to get real results when it comes to healing and life transformation. It's so important to work with the mind in a different way, in a deeper way to really get the results. that you're wanting. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Jane. Here we go. Now, if I ask you to notice the part of you that also feels like a perfectionist. Okay. If I ask you how much the perfectionist is afraid to make mistakes and have judgment from other people, what would you say? Um, 9. 9. That's so great. So now you're seeing what I'm seeing now. If I told you I'm a perfectionist at a 9.9 because I'm afraid of judgment from other people, how safe do I feel around people? Uh, not very safe. Great. Now you're seeing what I'm seeing, right? So when I'm saying safety, I want you to feel safe to be you safe, to be you safe, to be alive, safe, to connect safe, to feel connected with people, really connected, not just safe with walls up. And feeling like a perfectionist and afraid of judgment or breathing or stepping out of beat or whatnot, but safe to just be you safe to breathe, safe to be safe, to enjoy safe, to laugh safe, to be, does that make sense? 100%. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, how big of a transformation would that be for you to feel safe to just be you a hundred percent? What would you say? A hundred percent transformation. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you to notice for a moment. Bingo. Can you see the part of you that feels like on the inside you're not really good enough? Can you see that? Yes. What kind of silliness is that? So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Yep, yep, yep. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. What kind of silliness is that? It doesn't even make sense. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. You're going to have to stop to haunt me. Okay, so, nope. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Notice. Notice for a moment, I'm invalidating the feeling. I was like, what type of sense does that make? What do I want you to do? I want you to agree with me and say, yes, it doesn't make any sense. But notice what you did. Doesn't make sense. Exactly. So notice what you said is you said no one's coming back to haunt me. Right. So you wrote it back. Why? Why? Wait, wait, wait. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. So I'm pointing this out to you because the other thing is We need to work with our mind in a different way to get a different result. So kind of like this, watch this. If I ask you how much, there's been a bit of a tug of war between the way I want to go in the way you want to go. You can see that, right? So let's say you're going to heal. You're going to get the results that you want. Who's going to get your mind to go in the other way? You've got to want to. Yes. Bingo. So to really heal yourself. You need your mind to want to go in a different direction. So we're not playing tug of war, but you're like, okay, I'll change. Does that make sense? Yeah. I guess I was, but I clearly have, okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe and change that. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. We don't need to be mean to self. Aha. We can just have an aha moment. Yeah. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And this is how you notice that. Okay. It's because you can see that I keep kind of inserting myself to make your, to get your mind to go in a different direction, right? And you can feel how your mind wants to go in a completely different direction, but we're kind of, right? You feel that, right? Yeah. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And that part of you that felt like you weren't good enough, it doesn't even make any sense, right? Am I right? Yes. Yes. Thank you. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. It doesn't even make any sense, right? That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. It doesn't make any sense at all, right? Yes. Ah! Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and knowing that it doesn't make any sense, that feeling of feeling not good enough, it doesn't make any sense to feel that way. Yeah. If I ask you if you could feel more safe connecting with others now, what would you say? Yes. Oh! Oh, so you see what I'm talking about, and why I wanted to go that way. I can feel that too. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I'm going to invite you to just start here of starting to really feel good enough about self. Because that is, you mentioned about career, you also said, am I trying to sabotage my career success or my business success or whatnot? That internal feeling of also just not feeling good enough on the inside is definitely making it more challenging for that reason. Does that make sense? Beautiful. 100%. Beautiful. I love your awareness. I love your awareness. And so I'm going to ask you to breathe. And what I would say is, is a few things. So I want to invite you to start working on feeling good enough about self, okay? Then also about feeling safe to connect with others. Like you said previously, you said, what doesn't, like, I feel it doesn't feel safe, but I have people around me too, right? So I want you to kind of just start expanding on that and feeling good and feeling safe to be you. Does that make sense? Bingo. Great. And so I'm going to ask you to breathe. Great. Now I gotta tell you, I wanna leave it here. And the reason why I wanna leave it here is because you're already overwhelmed at a 50 in life. And so if I overwhelm you, that's not gonna be helpful either. And so what I would say is I want you to start, so notice the difference. Notice how everything that you've been looking at is the past, the hospital. The childhood, the, this, the, that, the, and notice what I'm asking you is to start feeling good enough about you to start feeling like relationships are safe to start moving it forward in a forward direction. So it feels safe to be around people that you feel good enough and whatnot. Does that make sense? Beautiful. Great. So, uh, so I'm going to ask you to breathe and give me one second. And as soon as I check in with universe, it says, don't overwhelm. Um, so we're going to do that is, um, is I want to have you just start there. If, if I give you a ton right now, it would just be too overwhelming and you'll feel worse instead of better. And so, uh, so I would, I would invite you to do is, uh, is even start seeing yourself and creating a vision where you're seeing yourself and you're seeing that you are good enough. You are great. And you start seeing that you are good, and you are great, and you start seeing that and feeling that, and then also start seeing that relationships are safe, so you can start moving it forward. Does that make sense? Yes. Great. The other thing I would recommend, because of course, you mentioned you really want to finally heal. I would, I would recommend taking my program and just like my video course and just go through step by step by step at your own pace. So you're not overwhelming yourself because this is the tricky part. Imagine if, okay, so imagine for a moment, if there's something that somebody's terrified of doing, they have like, let's say, or they don't want to do. So let's say somebody needs to go do a bunch of chores or they need to go clean the bathroom or go do something or whatever it is they don't want to do. Now, how many distractions do they want to attract in the meantime? A lot, a lot. Okay, so the problem is, is this, the catch 22 is that you're extremely stretched. In life, you're feeling stretched and overwhelmed. Now, the problem is it doesn't feel safe to move forward. So if you just try to just move forward and date and date and date, the other part of you is like more problem, more things, more overwhelmed, more, it's like the procrastination pieces trying to keep you quote unquote safe and create more and more things to do. Does that make sense? So, so it's getting unwound from this. means moving into feeling safer and feeling good and feeling safe to then move forward also to start getting out of that. Does that make sense? Beautiful. Yes, so it's like your energy wants to attract more and more distractions. Oh my god. Yes the master of distractions Okay, so, uh, but no you're not delete delete delete delete, you know of distractions No, you do you want is that what the universe says? And so it is, you now can be the master of distractions. I'm the master of feeling good enough to do it about myself. Brilliant. Brilliant. I love that. I love that. Okay, so, uh, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. And that's what I would do is just start getting a vision to start feeling like things moving forward are safe and start noticing that and feeling safe and getting that in and moving it forward. Now, notice moving your brain forward to safe is in and of itself already a big change. Does that make sense? Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. So even if you wanted to write out the type of relationship that you do want, uh, but then also feeling connected to others and starting, because remember, like, let me reflect this to you. If I told you that I feel like I've been alone and lonely my entire life and left out my entire life. Okay. So. It's kind of like this. If I've never spoken French in my entire life, and so I go, okay, well, I'm going to go release some things from the past. So hopefully I speak French from now on. How much does that make sense? That if I release enough things from my past, I'm going to start speaking French. Doesn't make sense, doesn't work. So it, exactly. So if I've never spoken the emotional pattern of connection and closeness and feeling included, how many things do I need to just go all of a sudden release for that new emotion to suddenly start popping in? I need to learn a new language. Exactly. Exactly. I don't look at the past and go, okay, well, if I delete, if I stop doing XYZ, then suddenly I'll know how to fly a plane. Like, we don't learn new skills by deleting things from the past, we have to really start establishing new neural pathways and new patterns of being to be able to establish that and create that. Does that make sense? Beautiful. Well, that, I mean, that's the thing I'm aware of, and that's, that's the part that I'm going to call it that missing piece of, you know, like people used to say to me, um, you know, stop this. I know. Well, I don't know anything different. Right. Right. So how do I, like, how do I. You know, you can sign up for language courses and things like that to learn something. It's, it's this learning this, like I, I'm, yes, but watch this. If I feel like I'm really, really, really, really, really not good enough. How much do any relationships feel safe to be in? None. Oh, okay. So now I'm just gonna work at a 9. 5 to be a perfectionist, to try like crazy to never seem to make a mistake and be careful not to breathe too much so I don't make any mistakes at all and then I'll feel somewhat safe. That make sense? So notice the distinction in your case is that feeling. So I asked you to work on both of those because then your mind wants to create a lot of distractions around it because there's a lot of feeling of not feeling good enough and then not feeling safe and those are all playing out. It's like one thing is triggering the other. Make sense, beautiful? 100%. Yeah. I love your awareness. I love your awareness. Now, honestly, I'm trying to be careful because I am, I would say that what I'm not expressing is that I'm very concerned about overwhelming you because you're already have so many things going on. So when I keep saying, take it lightly, take it easy, because overwhelm is the worst thing you could do. So even if you just started slowly and started doing something, Over, does that make sense? We don't want to add more overwhelm, but we do want to start adding in feelings of safety because that can help you to get out of that. Okay. Yeah. All right. Beautiful. Bingo. Give me one second. Yes. I wanted to check with the universe. We are complete. Okay. So safety feeling good about you making a point to start feeling good about you and getting that in and feeling good about you. Okay. Um, bingo. All right. Bingo. Beautiful. Fantastic. I love your self awareness and I love your heart. And by the way, I could have sat here and complimented every other wonderful thing about you because I see that too. So notice when you, the feeling of feeling not good enough, I'm like, what are you even talking about? That doesn't even make any sense. Okay. So, so point being, we're here. We're, we're looking at what things can we change? What are we overlooking? But at the same time, just acknowledging you're, there's so many wonderful qualities that we could look at as well. So just wanting to acknowledge that. And it has been such a pleasure connecting with you, beautiful. Thank you so much, Brandy. You're welcome. Beautiful. You're welcome. All right. So let's go ahead and unpack this. And you know, I have to say, I just love her. I love her. I love her self awareness. I love her willingness. To then change and just, it just beautiful. She's just a beautiful, beautiful being. And, I also really love the insights that came from this. A feeling, a feeling where, you know, if deep inside you're feeling not good enough, then it definitely can be harder to create a relationship because you don't feel good enough. So then that keeps showing up and then rejection can keep showing up. And then, not only that. But then fear of perfectionism, I mean, you can see the whole spiral, if you will. So that is one piece. Now, another piece, when you think about it, is that overwhelm piece, that distraction, and by the way, I love that she said she's the master of distraction, but then of course undid it, but just her awareness that she sees it. That there are a lot of distractions that are going on that are coming up in her life. And again, I love that she corrected it and changed it. So she's not the master of that anymore, but the willingness to change. And that's the insight that I really want to leave you with is that if you find that there are distractions coming up. When you're healing yourself, when you're changing your life, you want to overcome it because so often that very thing can happen and I can tell you, even when I was working on healing myself, when I started getting breakthroughs and feeling it and figuring it out and all of these things, like some type of distraction could come up of something else, of somebody that I needed to, you know, help me. take their call and, and do that. Like there was just distractions. And I started realizing that I couldn't keep getting sucked into the distractions and that I really needed to be willing to take the time for me. And so I want to invite you to think about that in your life. If you have felt distracted, or by the way, I'll see people who are working on healing themselves Start putting themselves last. They say, well, I want to make sure that my husband or my wife or daughter, whomever is healed first. And, but they're willing to put everybody or everything else above themselves. And of course. You want to make sure that you matter. And if there are a lot of distractions coming up, I want to invite you to notice if you have some fears coming up that might be attracting distractions, if you will, to keep you from moving forward. And so just food for thought. And of course, sometimes it might be. Feelings of fear, but other times it can be feelings of integrity. And so there can be a variety of different reasons, but just noticing in your life, if there are a lot of distractions, noticing why, and instead of continuing to get sucked into them, be willing to genuinely transform them, to work with your mind in a different way, in a deeper way. To create a real, real shift, because you'll hear me say over and over again, to get real results, it does take a real change. You know, you see me work with people to release their pain, which she did a great job at doing that. And you'll see people one after another release their pain. And I'll always tell them it does take a real genuine shift. And so really emphasizing that because it's key. for getting lasting results. And of course, the more people who get real, real results, the more you change your life, but also the more it changes the world, because the more people who wake up to the awareness that we can heal, we can get real, real results, the more that it creates a shift in consciousness in our world. And that is of course, very exciting. And so on that note, I want to ask you to please do take a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more empowered and happy and healthy and loved and loving that every single person is in our world, the better this world is for all of us. And so please do take a quick moment to hit the share button. And please do make a point to have a most wonderful, incredible rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Closing Message

Thank you for listening to heal yourself, change your life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about, or those, you know, who really need it as more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point. And the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level. Then people realize that said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygilmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly. Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind. Thank you.

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IMPORTANT NOTE: We understand that some may believe mind-body healing is impossible. Therefore, if you would like to see images of individuals using their minds to relieve pain, you can check out this medical journal. It includes images from some of Brandy's case studies. If you want to learn how to use your mind to heal yourself, you can check out the training on Brandy's website. Each week, Brandy publishes a volunteer episode where she coaches a volunteer to heal themselves using their own mind. In addition, Brandy shares a quick IQ episode (Insights and Questions) where she answers listener questions or delves deeper into insights on working with the mind for healing. This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for psychiatric or medical care.

If you struggle with negative thoughts, chronic pain, or chronic health issues, please continue seeing your doctor as recommended. Think of self-healing and mind-body healing as ways to partner with your doctor—keeping them informed and working as a team—so you can feel empowered in your health journey and fully embrace what’s possible through the power of your mind, emotions, and energy. Genuine change and consistent follow-through are key. Please enjoy this self-healing podcast.

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Please remember that genuine change and follow-through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor. Instead, your goal with self-healing should be to continue to see your doctor as recommended and blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind and with the power of mind-body healing. Please enjoy this self-healing podcast.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Do not stop, start, or change any medications or treatments based on this content. Always consult your licensed healthcare provider before making any medical decisions. By listening, you agree to our full Terms of Use at brandygillmore.com/podcast-terms. This content is for individual use only and may not be copied, reproduced, or used for training purposes, including artificial intelligence (AI) training.

284: How Letting Go of the Need for Approval Can Heal Pain and Transform Your Life

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