292: Rewire Your Mind for Healing: Beyond Meditation, Affirmations, and Positivity
There’s something so exciting about discovering just how powerful your mind really is. The more you understand it, the more life begins to open in the most beautiful and unexpected ways. Today’s episode is filled with those kinds of lightbulb moments—where healing, clarity, and joy come together.
As Brandy continues her work with our beautiful volunteer Melissa, she helps reveal something that many people unknowingly experience: the mind linking up that it’s safer to retreat from life than to fully live it. Despite Melissa’s desire to heal, her subconscious patterns have been pulling her in the opposite direction—using meditation to check out, associating love with illness, and trying to feel valued by fixing others.
As Brandy gently guides her to uncover these patterns, Melissa begins to recognize how deep the feelings of fear, hurt, and disconnection have been—along with the belief that life isn’t safe, and that support only comes when she’s unwell. Through these insights, Brandy illustrates how even the kindest people can stay stuck in loops of feeling unloved, unsupported, or isolated.
This episode is filled with heartfelt realizations and transformative shifts that can help you reflect on your own emotional patterns and relationships—and take steps toward falling back in love with life.
Brandy shares powerful insights such as:
How subconscious emotional associations can quietly override conscious effort
Why healing goes deeper than meditation, mindset, or affirmation work alone
The energetic shifts needed to release old stories and step into joy, love, and connection
How to break cycles of emotional isolation and rediscover your power to connect and thrive
Come join us! You won’t want to miss the insights that unfold.
IMPORTANT NOTE: We understand that some may believe mind-body healing is impossible. Therefore, if you would like to see images of individuals using their minds to relieve pain, you can check out this medical journal. It includes images from some of Brandy's case studies. If you want to learn how to use your mind to heal yourself, you can check out the training on Brandy's website. Each week, Brandy publishes a volunteer episode where she coaches a volunteer to heal themselves using their own mind. In addition, Brandy shares a quick IQ episode (Insights and Questions) where she answers listener questions or delves deeper into insights on working with the mind for healing.
Do you have questions about self-healing? Do you want to know how self-healing works? If so you can simply reach out to us at [email protected]
Free Resources and Frequently Asked Questions & Resources
(Please note, this is an AI generated transcript of this episode…)
Introduction
Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.
Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.
Let's begin.
Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just Love that youare here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, yourhealing. I just love it and I just love today's episode. Today's episode is justreally powerful in that, you know, so often when we're trying to create change inour life or our health, we can have this feeling of just wanting to plow throughor just change it consciously, but not really understanding that those subconsciouspatterns at a deeper level can really work against us in a big way and that's partof where we're going today is just that deeper understanding that to create the realchange in your life you really do need to rewire your mind at a deeper,deeper, deeper level and Further, what's exciting about it is you can see that whenwe really want something, when we really are struggling to get something,it's not that it's impossible. It's just that there's that glass ceiling, if youwill. There's that block. There's the glass ceiling or the negative pattern that canrepeat in tricky ways that can really keep you From having what it is that you'rewanting now of course the reason I say that it's exciting is because the more thatyou see it and you have the clarity And you see it and you transform it the moreeverything can change And that's the very thing that happened in my own life Youknow I had felt like I was just stuck and trying so freaking hard to heal and Wasstuck and was stuck and finally started understanding and really gaining clarity ofwhat I needed to do and understanding the subconscious patterns that everythingchanged. Now, prior to really figuring out how to use my mind, I had beenmeditating for years and years and thinking positively and visualization and binauralbeats and recorded meditations and quiet meditations and silent Meditations and energymeditate all of the things to try to reprogram my mind, but it wasn't working Nowthat's one of the other things that I love about today's episode. It's just thelevel of clarity You can see how you know things like meditation or positivethinking or affirmations or All of the things the mind programming you can see howof course they can have positive benefits, but if you're not addressing the specificpatterns, the specific programming, that it can actually keep you stuck. Andespecially if your mind is checking out and checking out in a blissful way andchecking out of life, it can actually then reinforce the problem and keep you stuck,even though there's also positive aspects to it. Think about it like eating broccolithat's dipped in like you know something negative. They're eating a bunch ofchemicals or whatnot where there's benefits to it but then also negative aspects toit and so meditation or things like that can definitely have positive benefits to itbut we really need to make sure that we go beyond meditation to really understandthe mind at a deeper level or they can keep you stuck and that's exactly what wecan see from this beautiful volunteer is exactly that is she's been meditating for along period of time and meditating and her mind is just wanting to kind of go ona mountaintop and check out and live in blissful meditation and then has linked itup that life is painful, life is scary and what can happen is when we really dothat with the mind over and over and over and check out and feel bliss and thenlook at life and feel fear and then check out and into meditation and feel blissand then face life and feel fear, we can get that soul linked up at a deeperlevel that it actually makes it worse and harder to heal.So that's where we're going on today's episode is just going deeper and deeper downthe rabbit hole, the understanding of the mind and those patterns, etc.,to really unpack this and look at what's going on at a deeper level.Now, our volunteer, her name is Melissa, and you may recall, I actually startedworking with her on last week's episode and what I mean by that is this, istechnically I only had one session with her.Podcast episode one really long podcast episode I broke it into pieces and so onlast week's episode we listen to that first segment of her session and if youmissed it I'd strongly recommend going back to listen to it so many people said howmuch they loved the episode how much insight and clarity and how helpful it was forthem so just profound. And so if you missed that, I'd strongly recommend going backto listen to that first segment. And so on today's episode, we are going to pickup where we left off from the first part of the session, where we're talking aboutexactly that, the meditation and feeling afraid to jump back into life.So you'll notice that feeling where she's feeling like life feels unsafe.And so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer,Melissa. Here we go.So if you knew that you could experience more and more and more love, and more andmore and more love,and more and more and more love, If you knew that If you absolutely knew that noweven as I'm saying this to your energy even your energy is kind of like it is Ican feel it Brandy. I feel the block there like as you're saying I want to gothere in my mind. There's some part of me. That's like trying to protect me Itotally know but this is what it says. Yeah, I love your awareness. It's like itwants to just go be spiritual Can That's exactly it. That's why I'm like, Iassociate all of this like life stuff, you know, of being stressful when I'm like,I just want to go on a mountain and meditate and be left alone and be spiritualand not in this stress stuff. Yeah, totally get what you're saying. Exactly.Okay. So, and by the way, I see this all of the time where people go throughmeditation and they just want to check out and then they they end up it's ruiningrelationships and connections and like all kinds of things because they just want tocheck out and that's why I say you know what this is what happens though imagineif I said I just want to go meditate on a mountain and be by myself and bespiritual yeah or if I said I want to fall in love with life and have life fallin love with me and have love and connection and sweetness and fun and feel feelalive. If you think about it, imagine a 10 -year -old who says, "I can't wait togrow up and then just meditate on a mountain." Or if a 10 -year -old says,"Look, I want to go to Disneyland. I want to go do this. I want to enjoy. I wantto have love and passion and connection." So the thing of it is, you've got to getyourself to want life because even what you're saying is this I want life but froma mountain top where I don't have to connect with life where it feels safe yeahthere's this huge safety issue of a you know wanting to jump off and step into theunknown and you know kind of stumbling so many times that now I'm like well maybewe don't need to jump off in the unknown and we can just go sit on that mountainand be safe. The Earth is round! You're not gonna jump off into thethank you for your sense of humor.All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, firstand foremost, I love her sense of humor. I love her self -awareness. I love herself -honesty just beautiful. Now I just want to provide a quick insight because itseems like I'm laughing and being silly right here like the world is round youcan't jump off and I am using laughter but also being serious because if you thinkabout it for a moment if her nervous system feels afraid of jumping into theunknown that life is like jumping into the unknown and she's feeling terrified andfeeling life gets safer to not be in life. And so that feeling of feeling terrifiedcan of course make it feel hard or impossible to really stay healthy because imaginesomebody's nervous system feeling that way towards life. That's not the place wherethe body heals itself and so ultimately what's happening is that's how she's feelingtowards life and that's what's got it linked up and so it's this feeling of wantingto check out of life and so ultimately you want to make sure that you're notlinking up over and over that it feels safer to check out of life because ofcourse The ultimate checking out of life is not living. And what's getting linked upin her mind, or what she's linked up by doing this meditation, is feeling like shejust wants to go live on a mountain. Which is another way of saying, look, I don'twant to live life, life is too scary. But the truth of it is, is of course, ourthoughts help create our lives. And so, This world is exciting and amazing and howincredible is it that our thoughts help create our lives?I mean, it's incredible and of course, we could look at it like manifesting, but wecould also look at it in a very grounded way if we think about psychology and wethink about repetition, compulsion, reenactments, attachment theory, all of attraction,whatever you want to call it. You know, you hear me use the example all of thetime that, you know, unfortunately a woman with an abusive father may leave him andfind the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, etc. etc. Those patterns can continue.Now, of course, on the opposite side, if we repattern the mind,we could also have patterns of love and more patterns and love and love and loveand love and of course there are people who do have that. So of course we don'twant to link up that life is not safe. We want to look at negative patterns andget rid of the negative patterns and install the amazing loving incredible fantasticwonderful patterns in life and flourish. That's ultimately what we want to do.Now what you'll notice as we dive in even deeper is that she's got some deeperpatterns that are really making life feel very painful and fearful and you know andthat's the reason that she's been feeling this way towards life. And so that's wherewe're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Melissa. Here we go.Yeah, I mean, it definitely feels like the blockage that I need to work with. Butthis is the thing, right? Absolutely. Imagine. Okay, so imagine for a moment, if youfelt like you were very connected to friends, like you felt very connected, veryloved, very safe in your relationships, you felt like you could just be you andconnect. You felt like you had a loving, wonderful partner and you felt like youhad something in work with you were good at and you were just passionate about andyou felt that. Imagine, would you be like, "You know what? I just want to go leavethis and go just go hang out on the mountain by myself." No, absolutely not. Andthat's definitely what I get in the sense and I know is that I've been hungry forconnection. I've been hungry for community, I've been hungry for good relationships,good friendships, supportive interactions.And Bingo, and then say that, notice that. And then you've programmed into your mindthe way to get that is to be gone. But it's okay. So, okay, at a subconsciouslevel, I get that your conscious mind is like, no, no, no, no. I mean,I feel like I keep trying and I keep, yep, okay. So bingo. So I'm gonna ask youto breathe, bingo. So now I'm gonna switch this around for a second.Now is the ultimate spiritual experience to be on a mountain by yourself meditatingor is the ultimate spiritual and spiritual experience, to be connected with peopleand have harmonious love and connection and relationships and all of that,what is the, like, notice for a moment, that is spiritual, it's kind of like this,imagine if a koala bear comes here and says the most spiritual experience I canhave is just to sit in one spot and just be here and just meditate or a cheetahor a tiger comes here or any animal like comes a bird says the most thing mostspiritual thing I could do was just sit here but what if a bird was flying andenjoying and like being a bird and like we're here we're human creators we get tocome here and be and create and do And so when you think about it like a bird,like imagine a fish is like, imagine if it was like, I'm just gonna go over tothis part of the water and I'm just gonna stay here and meditate. Or if a fishwas like, I'm gonna swim and enjoy and be and, you know, we're, this is ourspiritual experience, but to learn and do, right? Right. Okay,so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you Zero to ten. How much youstill want to go just beyond a mountain? What would you say? I would say that I'munderstanding and I'm moving more towards the seven, eight side. However,I keep getting stuck on the frustration of wanting to say, "Brandy, I've tried thata million times and I keep coming up short." Wait, I have a question? Sure.So this pattern that I'm talking about with your sister and pattern of peopleshutting you out. How many times have you changed it?No, I mean. Oh, oh, you have it. Oh, okay. There's that thing.There's that thing. Oh, and you're going to miss me when I'm gone. How many timeshave you changed that and looked at that? So think about this. Okay. You know thatpeople have patterns in life, right? Right. So, basically, what you're saying is youhaven't been able to run away from your patterns, and you're kind of annoyed withthat whole thing, instead, you... So, what you're saying is,so I have this pattern, and now when I go into new relationships, somehow theydon't feel like they're working, because I still subconsciously have this pattern anda new friendship that I'm like, "Well, I tried this for a couple of times and nowI can see that maybe this isn't a good match and I'm getting more hurt than I amlove and I want to go back away from this." And so, in every way, I keep goingback towards that thing that I can control, which is being alone and trying to makethat the most fulfilling experience because all of this reaching out to other peopleand trying to develop things with other people and in other relationships, it justfeels like it's continuing to not work. But if you're saying it's because of thispattern that I'm bringing with it. Yep, you tell me. Do you see the pattern? Iwasn't aware of the pattern, but now that you're telling me about the pattern, Ican see the pattern now.All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, firstand foremost, I just love her. I love her. I love herself awareness. And so oftenpeople feel this exact way that they've tried everything and everything and everythingand nothing is working. But when they look closer and gain clarity,they realize there is this pattern. And that's of course what personal developmentand consciousness and transformation is all about, is understanding what's in thesubconscious mind. Now, of course, most people cannot see what is in their ownsubconscious mind, and that's how the subconscious mind works. It is, of course, bydefinition, subconscious, so it's below consciousness. But that's what happens when wemaster it, when we really start to understand how to look into our subconsciousmind, how to identify patterns to transform them, so that's what I love is thatthat's exactly what I did in my own life is I started just developing ways to beable to understand what was in my subconscious mind and not only that but then toclear it and rewire it and understand patterns and energy and it was pivotal andWhat can happen, though, is that if we feel like we've tried everything, if we tellourselves exactly what she's telling herself, if we tell ourselves we've triedeverything and everything and everything, then what do we see? That we've triedeverything. And that's what she's telling herself. But there's patterns here.And so you don't want to tell yourself that you've tried everything. instead, whatyou ultimately want to do is get more and more and more clarity, clarity and moreconsciousness, more awareness. And so that's of course where we're going.But just when we look at it for a moment, what can be tricky about the mind isthis, is that when a person has patterns, they can start to see that this is justhow life is. For example, if I use, you know, the same analogy or unfortunateexample that I've been using, the woman with the abusive father leaves him, finds anabusive boyfriend, boss, etc. That pattern can continue, then that woman can start tobelieve that, "Oh, that's just how men are." Or, "All men are just abusivealcoholics." Or, "All men are just cheaters." Or, "All men are this." Or, "All menare that. Now, of course, that's not true, but that can become their perception.Now, in this case, notice how she started to feel like life is just not safe.That's a big belief about life that needs to be healed for her to heal.And so you can see she hasn't really tried everything Because yes, she's been doingthe meditation and the herbs and the supplements and the this and the that and theenergy work and the yoga and all of the things. Yes, but notice, like she said,she feels like life is like jumping off into the unknown. That's not the place ofhealing. So if we really have to change at a deeper, deeper level,that is what's key. We need to fall in love with life but also really change thepatterns and there are some other patterns going on that are tricky and so that'swhere we're going and again I have to say I just love her, I love herselfawareness, I love herself honesty and I'm excited for her to make thesetransformations, to see these patterns and genuinely transform them in her life Andso that's where we're going, is we're looking at what are the other patterns thatare going on at a deeper level. Here we go as we step back in with beautifulMelissa.How clearly can you see the pattern?I can see it in retrospect. I don't see how I'm, when I go meet a new friendtomorrow, How am I going to be bringing that pattern to the relationship that I'mnot realizing that I'm healing from it? How am I going to move forward?So one of the things that I would say is this is that Can you see the part ofyou that doesn't feel good enough that also wants to feel good enough? So then goesinto a feeling of superiority. Can you see that? Yes. And if I ask you zero toten, how much you can see superiority in your energy, what would you say? Ten. Mm-hmm. Great awareness.So, if I just, you know, kind of talk to you, you know, just because I'm betterthan you are, like that, how much would you want to hang out, you know, I'm betterthan you, but I'm happy to hang out with you if you'd like, even though I'm Betterthan youOf course not true, but when if I'm superior to you how much do you really wantto hang out and connect well now? I was you don't so maybe you're not verballysaying that But your energy says that like kind of like this if you had somebodyaround you Who felt superior at a level 10? Do you think you'd notice it?Probably. Probably. Let's say this. Let's say you felt, you had somebody around youwho felt angry at a level 10. You think you'd notice? Oh, definitely. Yeah. Whatabout if they felt sad at level 10? You think you'd notice? Absolutely, yes. So ifthey felt superior at a level 10, you think they'd notice? Yes. Okay. I definitelyfeel like that's an element in the patterning with M2. Bingo. Mm -hmm.So I have a question for you. What makes you a superior being? Nothing,I'm not. Okay, we're all amazing, right? We're all absolutely amazing. Okay,so what I would say is, the question you asked me is how am I going to dorelationshiping different moving forward, right? Yes. Okay, well I would It'sdefinitely changed that because that is one of the things that keeps them backfiringis because you're showing up and not only that, but wanting to impress people. Youcan see that or wanting to be more spiritual and more superior and more this andmore that. Okay. And bingo. Okay. And if I ask you also,can you see the part that always wants to fix people as well? Can you see that?Yes, definitely. Bingo. So, I can't tell you how many times I have worked withpeople whose relationships backfired in a horrible way because they always wanted tofix people. Like, it is so common. And let me give you an example. So I'm goingto ask you to close your eyes.And I want you to picture that you have an interior designer come over for dinner.Your friend is an interior designer. So your friend, you invite a friend over who'sancomes over for dinner and she says oh you know what I was just looking at yoursofa and I really think you should change that and by the way that picture youhave up on the wall you know you really should if you change that out to somethingdifferent wow that would be oh and by the way the kitchen I think with the kitchenthis is what now if I ask you how do you feel about that Imean how would you feel how would you feel I think that it depends if becauseyou're actually hit on something that I'm not very good at and I don't want tocommit to which is interior decorating so I've been sort of a question I got youbut if somebody comes over and then search then no obviously I mean if someone'scoming over giving unsolicited advice and sort of insulting the things that I likethen no I wouldn't be very open to their suggestions. Exactly now how many moretimes do you want to have that person over for dinner? Yeah exactly not. Nowexactly but let's say you guys are having dinner and in the middle of dinner yousay hey I was thinking about putting this picture up over the year over the sofaor what now what do you think and then she gave you advice how would you feelabout that? Absolutely different because I asked for it. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. So youasked, again, you asked how do I need to do relationshiping different to create adifferent outcome? Advice?Okay. Absolutely. Because when it goes back to the interior designer, she says, well,I'm just trying to give you some help. How many, how, especially, let's say, everytime she comes over, she's like, oh, you should do this, you should do that.Honestly, how many more times do you want to invite her? Right. If I'm not askingfor the help, then no. Exactly. Exactly, right? And that's, yeah, I mean, when I goto social events, I'm not giving people advice at all. Like, no, I'm just showingup and just, I'm just being present. Right? So, I'm going to ask you to breathe.And so now let's say that Interior designer, she's better than you by the way, hasa superiority energy about a level 10 And she's giving you advice about your house.Right. No good. No good.Okay, great. So what I would say is be willing to get good at relationship. Doesthat make sense? Okay. Absolutely. Great So you see these things how probably theydidn't work out so well, right?All All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know,again, I just absolutely love herself awareness. I love herself honesty. It'sbrilliant, it's beautiful, and there's a few things. You know, first and foremost,this superiority, inferiority, all of that going on. Of course, I feel it in herenergy. See it very, very, very clearly in her energy as this pattern, and thething you want to keep in mind is it's not just her all of the time. I'll seepeople feel that exact way where they feel the sense of inferiority. So they'retrying really hard to be superior or trying to give others advice or whatnot andthey get stuck in these spirals. Now it is so common that on the last IQ episodeon the episode from a few days ago, the short IQ episode, I actually did anepisode on this very topic of just not needing to fix people,not needing to give advice, not needing to point out other people's issues orproblems or whatnot, but just accepting them how they are and not needing to changethem and instead just having humor, being playful, being able to connect. Becausethat's what relationship being is really all about. The better we can just connectand enjoy and show up and have fun and love, the better our relationships are fromthat space. And so by the way, if this is an issue for you, I'd strongly recommendmaking a point to listen to the last IQ episode if you happen to miss it becausethis issue is not small. I've seen people who have been diagnosed with all kinds ofthings that was connected to this very thing of just trying to fix others and giveadvice to others and so much so that they were pushing everybody away and then itwas creating more and more illness and problems and hurt, etc. I can't tell you howmany times I've seen that. So just food for thought. And what you also notice issometimes the patterns show up in very tricky ways. And so that's where we're goingas we step back in with beautiful Melissa. Here we go.Now, This is what's great. It's like anything in life. We can get good at math. Wecan get good at science. We can get good at writing or all these things and wecan get good at people, right? And so, when you think about it for a moment,Bingo. I'm going to ask you to close your eyes.And I want you to think about what that looks like for you to just say, "Okay,I'm going to get good at the skill of people." And you just really decide, and Iknow I have a tendency to create a verb with everything, but it's because we'redoing it and being it, right? So you're peopeling, okay? And so I'm going to askyou to breathe. Now when you think about it and you said, "Okay, here are someobvious things that I could change." And not only that, but this pattern. So if Istart actually changing these things, I could get really good at peopeling. Now howdoes that feel toIt feels good. Yeah, I do feel a little bit of confusion and some frustrationbecause I do feel like that is how I have approached Recent relationships in thelast year or so. I feel like with past relationships like with my sister Idefinitely did not approach it that way. So I would say that there's been a shiftin how I'm approaching relationships in the last year or two, that is,is much more humble. And I feel like the relationships that I've had recently,people are very happy with me. I feel like it's me that feels that I'm not gettingenough out of the relationship. Okay. And a few things,Pinga. And, And if I ask you, what are you supposed to be getting out of therelationship?Meaning the same level of support that I'm giving the other person or the presence,or just the level of connection and friendship that I might be looking for. I don'tfeel like it's often reciprocated. Okay.All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a very very very quick momentWhat I want to point out is this is notice for a moment there is this pattern ofsuperiority and Notice it's showing up in a different way Which is right here inthis moment It's showing up in the feeling of feeling like I'm being a betterfriend, so to speak, where she says, you know, I'm doing this and I'm doing thatand they're just not showing up as very good friends. And so that's part of thepattern. And of course, part of the other pattern is this feeling of feeling likenobody's loved her and nobody's been there for her. So my point is, is even whenshe thinks that she's getting rid of the pattern, it's still there and it's showingup in different ways. Now, notice she's trying different behavior where she says,okay, well, I am trying to show up more humble, but then the superiority is going,oh, well, I'm a better friend because of this. I'm a better friend. Now, why am Ipointing that out? I'm pointing that out because even though she's trying to changeher actions. She hasn't changed her energy towards it, her emotions towards it,so you notice as she's talking about this there's still a lot of hurt and upsetand emotion and energy about this whole thing. It's just showing up in a differentway and of course it's not just Melissa. That's everybody. That's how patterns workAnd so ultimately to create a real transformation, what we need is not justbehavior, yes, that's important. We need to change both the inside and the outside.So we really have to take these emotional, energetic patterns and really shift themso we feel different. So we're programmed differently. So what happens is the morewe change our programming, the more we show up in a different way but the morealso as we're changing our programming and our emotions we really feel differentlyand of course as you can hear with all the emotion that she has towards thesethings these patterns that has not yet changed and transformed and so that'll be keyfor making this real transformation. But what can happen is of course the mind canget really stuck. It can feel stuck on deserving or expectations or what it feelsit's supposed to get. And so it can be a bit tricky because a lot of times peoplecan hold on to the negativity and instead of letting it go and seeing it in adifferent way. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with ourbeautiful volunteer, Melissa. Here we go.Now, it sounds like you're talking about a transaction.Okay, so what would happen if you showed up to a relationship andyou're just making a point to have a great connection to have a great time like inother words it's kind of like this what you just said to me is you said you'reneeding more support from your friendships right yes okay and I would say thatthat's interesting like if you ask me how much I ask for support in my friendshipsI would say wow I never even actually, what do I need support for? I can stand upon my own, what do, what, like if you, I mean, are my people around me like,like we connect, like, do I think, oh, I need support from them? For what?Now we get together, we connect, we, like, I want to be present, we can have agood time, and I mean, sure, if I needed thing? Sure, and this is the thing. If Ineeded something, could I call them and say, "Hey, I need something," but I guess Idon't have that energy of needing things from that. I don't need them to beanything other than fun, or funny, or playful, or present, or... An example of whatI mean, what I mean by that. Would that help or not important?I would say, give me one second.I would say not important and this is the reason why so I'm going to ask you toclose your eyes andNotice part of what you're really saying is when you're not feeling quote -unquotesupported is you're saying I still don't feel loved enough Exactly, okay So whatyou're saying to me is really I still have this pattern And, and all I need infriendships is I just need them to stand on the top of Mount Everest and then justsay that they love me and that would then make me feel loved. In other words, whatI'm saying to you is I feel loved in my friendships without them needing to go anextra mile or two or three. But I already, I mean, even a veil, like if I'm goingthrough Like health testing and people tend to want to pull away from me or shyaway from me because they don't want to deal with Listening to someone who is sador upset or concerned about their latest biopsy Yeah, can I tell you?It's not a bad thing and this is why is They notice how you've used illness as aconnector with people. Can you see that? Okay. So it's kind of like,so, so what I would say is, bingo, number one,it goes back to the pattern of you're going to miss me when I'm gone, because thenit's like, oh, you weren't here. Well, then fine, you're going to miss me when I'mgone. Something happens to me. So I would say that has to do with that pattern.But the other thing is, this is this, is that it'skind of like this.Okay, why because this because again it gets linked up kind of like this isThat if somebody gets love for illness, how soon do they want to get rid of theillness? Right understood. Okay. I got you so basically what you're saying is I haveillness and you're supposed to love me for itSo you expect them, so watch this, if I have a hangnail, are you I expect you'regoing to come support me with that, right? Right, right, right. Now, why have I putthose demands and expectations on you? And if you don't do that, by the way, ifyou don't come support my hangnail, I'm going to be very upset with you becausethose are my rules. I get exactly what you're saying and and it totally makessense. I think what I have found myself in situations, for example, when my husbanddied or when I've gotten cancer the several times, and I'm looking around and Ineed a friend to help me go to the grocery store or help me bring some garbageout because my physical body is literally too weak and I don't have anybody herethat I can depend on. - Do you the truth? Where? Yes, of course. The truth is,I would not expect for my friends to do it or be it. I would,but see, I'm not somebody who assigns my friends jobs that they didn't sign up for.Okay, help me with this. Help me understand. Okay. Yes. So, so even I have to tellyou, like when I was injured, I doing online there was like a grocery store likeordering things online so there was that and did I have some people come andvolunteer to help I did I absolutely did and like my brother was like there wasmultiple people who were there for me in wonderful ways but the thing of it isthere's a couple things number one you've had a pattern of feeling like nobody'sthere for you since you were five. Exactly. Agreed.All right, so let's go ahead and actually pause the session right here. You know,first and foremost, I just love her. I love herself awareness. I love herselfhonesty. And I also just love the awareness that you can see this,that even when there's somebody who's a beautiful being who's loving and kind andsweet and a good person that we can still have these patterns of feeling unloved orfeeling like nobody's there or feeling hurt or feeling whatever it is it's like evenif we're a great person these patterns can still show up in life Because that's howenergy works. That's how patterns work at a deeper, deeper level. And so I want topause the session right here because I want to give you a moment to also reflecton this in your own life and think about your relationships. You know, when youshow up in a relationship, ultimately what you want to do is just show up and bewilling to create fun, to create happiness, to create love, to create joy,to create bonding, because when you give to your relationships in that way,it can show up in that way. Does that mean that they're always, always, alwaysgoing to be fun? Well, hopefully, maybe not always perfect and always,but when you start from that foundation, when you have a loving,sweet, caring bond and it feels good. That has so much room to flourish and weatherthe times that don't necessarily feel good as well. And so that's something that Iwant to invite you to look at. Now, of course, as we can see in this situation,there are multiple things going on. So many things. So I want to give you a coupleideas here of patterns to think about. Now,Let's look at the pattern of love for a moment and how it can get linked up toillness because this is so common.And notice what we want to look at. Obviously, if we look at Melissa, she does notwant to get love through illness, but she also does want to and expects,she has this feeling that says, "If I'm sick, I deserve for people to do thesethings," like she has that expectation like people should. And that's linked up.Now, the reason this is a problem is this.Imagine for a moment, let's look at the bigger picture. An easy way to think aboutit is like this. If you think about earlier in the session, she mentioned thatshe's been craving love, community, connection. She's been craving that she's beenfeeling unloved unsupported disconnected alone. She's been craving Community nowimagine, you know when you stop and think about it. We need love and connectionjust like we need water We need oxygen we need love that is medically proven.You know if an infant doesn't get enough love They can actually die from not havingenough love and connection So we to love and so she is craving love and connectionand I get it and so she's craving that now in her mind she's saying it's reallyhard to get hard to get and then she's saying that if she has illness she expectsto get it she expects that people will be there for her now the reason this is aproblem obviously She doesn't want it to be like this. But the reason this is aproblem is because it's linked up in her subconscious mind. And so her mind feelslike it deserves it.Let me explain. Let me add to it to kind of help paint the picture, if you will.Imagine if somebody says if they wear an orange shirt that they deserve to get aflower. They're wearing an orange shirt so they deserve to get a flower. Now ifsomebody is really really really craving flowers how much would they want to put onan orange shirt? Well they would definitely want to if in their subconscious mind ifthey put on an orange shirt they deserve a flower. So similarly in Melissa's lifewhere she's feeling this craving of connection and connection and she's not gettingit at a deeper level in her subconscious mind. She has a belief that says sheexpects, that she deserves, that if she's sick, that people are supposed to be therefor her. So even though she consciously doesn't want to be sick, her subconsciousmind says, "Well, I know how to get people to be there for me. I just have to besick." And that's part of the reason that her mind also wants to keep going backto illness. It doesn't make logical sense and clearly. That's not what sheconsciously wants. I mean, she wouldn't be here if she wanted to be sick. She wouldnot be here at all. She wouldn't be working so hard on healing if she consciouslywanted to be sick, but you can see in her subconscious mind that it is that boththings are true, that she's craving love and connection. So she feels like that'smissing and that her subconscious mind says, "If I'm sick, people are supposed to dothis for me so that is linked up it's tricky and it doesn't make logical sense butsubconscious linking is what happens when it's linked up it's linked up it's whatyour subconscious mind will want to move towards and again it's not like she'slinked up this information in her subconscious mind on purpose it is verysubconscious, just like she wants to feel love and connection. It's going opposite ofthe way that she is wanting because of these deeper patterns. And so obviously herhealth, she's pushing and drawing and doing everything and everything to try to heal.And so what I'm saying, it just gets linked up at a deeper level. And you know,another example to think about it is also in this way. I have worked with peoplewho even, like one gentleman, an elderly man who's very,very, very extremely wealthy and decided he just didn't want anybody around.He just, he had enough money, he had whatever he wanted. He just wanted everybodyto just go away. The problem is, is that we need love and connection.Just like we need oxygen, just like we need water. We need love and connection. Andso his body, in his case, wanted to keep coming up with health issues because heneeded some type of connection and his conscious mind just wanted people to go away.So my point is, is again, that need for love and connection, the subconscious mindwill respond in ways to get it even if we don't consciously agree.It's like if somebody said they, you know, somebody needs oxygen and theirsubconscious mind wants oxygen and wants oxygen and there's not enough oxygen, butthere's oxygen that's hidden in the closet on the side, well then they'resubconsciously going to want to go towards that closet where all the oxygen isbecause their subconscious mind needs that oxygen and the same is true with love.And it can get linked up even when the conscious mind doesn't want to.And another example that you've probably heard me use on past episodes is this, isif you picture even a child who has an awi. So let's say there's a child,a little two year old who falls and they get an awi. And then a loving adultcomes by and says, you know, let me kiss it and make it better. What happens inthat moment, a loving adult that says, you know, let me kiss it and make itbetter. At that moment, love can get linked up to illness because those two thingshappened at the same time. Or by the way, if you've even seen before like a littlechild, we get an Owie and they go, Oh, can you kiss it? Can you kiss my Owie ormy boo boo and make it better? What happens? Love gets linked up to illness and soit's not on purpose but what can happen is this child can then grow up and andlet's say this child is becomes you know the person becomes 30 40 50 years old andthey find themselves in a place where they're lonely and disconnected in life sothey're lonely and they're disconnected and their subconscious mind wants more loveand connection and it's trying to get love and connection and it's not getting it,not getting it. So the subconscious mind says, "Oh, I know how to get love andconnection. I remember when I was two. Oh, I just need an owie." And so on asubconscious level, the subconscious mind may feel like it needs illness to get love.And so notice how the link, it's linked up. And so even in her situation,notice how where she's saying, well, if I'm sick, people are supposed to do thisand this and this and this and this for me. Well, that's her belief. Like I don'thave that belief. I didn't have that going through my injury. I didn't expect foranybody to do anything for me. I'm very independent. I didn't expect that of myfamily or friends. Now, did I have people show up? Yes, but it wasn't linked.And my links were different than hers for illness. So I'm not saying everybody whohas illness has love linked to it. Some people do. Some people don't. As you know,you've probably seen, you know, there are some people who become ill and they justisolate themselves, don't want to be around anybody. And that was more how I was.I didn't want people to know I was sick or injured. I just kind of likedisappeared. And of course I had help, but My point is just simply is that thesubconscious mind can do things even if we're not on board with it But once theyget linked up in the subconscious mind our mind can Can want it and if you noticeVery simply big big picture to simplify it We can see that in the mind wherethere's a feeling of feeling Where she mentioned earlier on, she's craving love,connection and community. And you can also see right here that she has a rule inher mind that her friends are supposed to do that if she's sick. AndI'm not saying that they should or shouldn't. I'm just saying that is a rule inher mind. And when you get that linked up, the mind then can create illness becauseit feels like it. That's how it can get love and connection. And so just food forthought. I know it can be extremely counterintuitive, but that's the point. It's likekind of like this. Some people, they feel like they might on a different note, um,feel like they deserve to be angry or they deserve to be upset or they deservesympathy or they deserve this or, you know, everybody has their own mindset for it,their own programming and that is the point is to really change and transform theprogramming and that's ultimately what you want to do is exactly that so the insightor the takeaway that I want to invite you to take from this is just even writingdown a few positive ways of things that you can contribute to your relationshipsthat don't require a quote unquote give, but it is a give,but don't require giving anything to care give or to do or to be for others.So in other words, my point is, have you ever seen people in relationships wherethey feel like to be valuable in a relationship, they have to care give, they haveto do something for others. "Oh, let me do this for you, let me do this for you,"or they have to give advice, or they have to... But really, having relationshipscould be, and is in its best form, is showing up and saying, "How do I have agreat time with this person? How do I listen and understand them and laugh andreally just contribute fun and connection or kindness or happiness?How can I do that.And that feeling of feeling that you are enough, that feeling of feeling that thatis enough in relationship is huge. That feeling of feeling that that is the truegive is huge in some ways. And so that's what I want to invite you to look at inyour life because truly I mean I just you may have heard on the last episode Ijust went to my brother's wedding and it was beautiful it was just it was beautifulin that it was so much love it was a love fest and it was so sweet and it wasaround all of my family and there in her family like his bride's family and it wasjust the two families got together and it was it was just unity.It was really sweet. It was so loving. And it's like showing up wasn't okay.What can we all necessarily do for each other? It was just kindness and sweetnessand laughter and goodness.And if we can show up like that in relationships where we're willing to justcontribute connection and create that positive connection and laugh together and heareach other. It's such a sweetness. And so that's what I want to invite you to lookat in life is exactly that. And by the way, this may seem simple on some levels,but so often people are in their own patterns there. You know, maybe their husbandor wife shows up from work and they're, uh, oh, I'm angry today or I'm this todaytoday or I'm that today or I'm you know oh I have to do this and I'm overwhelmedby that and I'm overwhelmed so a lot of times people are so much in their ownstuff that to then stop and just be love and be happy or contribute happiness orplayfulness is a valuable and invaluable contribution to connection and so food forthought on how you can do this because that can also contribute to their life andalso to your life, your health, your happiness and of course loving life which ispart of what we're talking about in this big picture is not wanting meditation tojust check out but instead creating love, creating connection, loving life,falling in love with life, creating that energy and embodying that. So those are theinsights that I wanted to share with you today and the rest of this session we'lllisten to on next week's episode. So I'm gonna break it into three pieces becauseit's just it's a longer session and so just breaking that in and there's additionalinsights that are just really powerful and can create a shift in your life and soplease do take a moment see how you can apply it to your own life and please dotake a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode you know share withsomebody you love somebody you care about or somebody you don't even know becausethe more that every single person is happy and healthy and loved and loving thebetter this world is for all of us and so Please do make a point to hit theshare button, and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, incredible restof your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'llsee you there.(upbeat music)Thank you for listening to heal yourself, change your life. All of the time peoplereach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched theirheart or helped them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to acompletely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today'sepisode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please give me a favorand be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who reallyneed it. As more and more people become empowered it really will change our worldfor the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is tocreate a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we areall capable of. And of course each volunteer will really need to follow through toreinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you tosee that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if youreally understand how to use your mind. You're incredible. And I do want to beclear though that most people will not get results this fast on their own.I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want toremember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level thanpeople realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, comevisit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast. And if you're currentlyexperiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you cansign up there as well. Lastly, please remember, if you do have any health issues,you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing themand make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with yourmind. Thank you.
IMPORTANT NOTE: We understand that some may believe mind-body healing is impossible. Therefore, if you would like to see images of individuals using their minds to relieve pain, you can check out this medical journal. It includes images from some of Brandy's case studies. If you want to learn how to use your mind to heal yourself, you can check out the training on Brandy's website. Each week, Brandy publishes a volunteer episode where she coaches a volunteer to heal themselves using their own mind. In addition, Brandy shares a quick IQ episode (Insights and Questions) where she answers listener questions or delves deeper into insights on working with the mind for healing. This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for psychiatric or medical care.
If you struggle with negative thoughts, chronic pain, or chronic health issues, please continue seeing your doctor as recommended. Think of self-healing and mind-body healing as ways to partner with your doctor—keeping them informed and working as a team—so you can feel empowered in your health journey and fully embrace what’s possible through the power of your mind, emotions, and energy. Genuine change and consistent follow-through are key. Please enjoy this self-healing podcast.
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Please remember that genuine change and follow-through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor. Instead, your goal with self-healing should be to continue to see your doctor as recommended and blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind and with the power of mind-body healing. Please enjoy this self-healing podcast.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for inspirational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Do not stop, start, or change any medications or treatments based on this content. Always consult your licensed healthcare provider before making any medical decisions. By listening, you agree to our full Terms of Use at brandygillmore.com/podcast-terms. This content is for individual use only and may not be copied, reproduced, or used for training purposes, including artificial intelligence (AI) training.
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