293: Mastering Your Mind & Energy to Attract Deep Love, Connection, and Healing

Introduction

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life.
My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let’s begin.

Introduction to the Episode

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love that and I just love today’s episode for so many reasons.

You know, one of the things that today’s volunteer says is she mentions that she feels like she’s been doing everything to get results, that she’s already been doing all of the things. But what you’ll see is you’ll see that there are key things that she has been overlooking, that most people overlook, and that when we’re really willing to expand our consciousness, to see with even more and more clarity, or to see things in a new way, that you can see that there’s details, that there are specific things that are hidden, if you will, that when we start to change those things at a deeper level. That’s when we can heal ourselves and change our lives.

And so again, I just really love this episode for that reason. And also because our volunteer, she’s just so sweet and just, you just love her. She’s just so sweet. I have so much respect for her. She’s just amazing self -awareness, amazing self -honesty, beautiful heart, just a beautiful, beautiful being. So that’s where we’re going.

Recapping Melissa’s Story

Now, speaking about our beautiful volunteer, her name is Melissa, and she’s been having ongoing health issues. So she had been doing all of the things, the meditating, the positive thinking, you know, for years and years, the spirituality, and she’s been stuck, and she’s had cancer multiple times, her husband died of cancer, and so she’s just, she’s been stuck with these health issues that keep coming back. Now when I worked with Melissa, I had one session with her but it was over an hour and a half long and if I did a podcast on the entire hour and a half plus my comments, it would have been like three hours or longer, it would have been very very long.

So what I’ve done is I broke up her session into three separate podcast episodes and today is going to be part three. So if by chance You’ve missed part one and part two. I strongly recommend listening to those. We’ve had so many people just messaging in on how much they love them and how insightful it was and empowering and just the clarity. And so those are powerful. And if you miss them, I will have my team leave those links in the notes so you can go back and listen to those episodes first.

Diving Into Part Three with Melissa

And so today we’re going to be diving into part three or that final part of her session, the end of her session, where we kind of bring everything together, but also the clarity and where she’s seeing things at a deeper and deeper level. So that’s where we’re going now where we left off. And the last segment is we were talking about how illness can get linked up to love and connection. And we had been talking about how there was a part of her who was constantly feeling hurt because there’s a part of her who expected that if she’s ill that her friends are supposed to show up for her and do certain things for her, but that this connection to illness and love was actually linked up in childhood with the connection with her mother and so that’s where we’re going is to that deeper level and again if you happen to miss part one and part two I strongly recommend listening to those first because today’s segment will make so much more sense as we go into the depth of understanding the subconscious mind at an even deeper level and so that’s where we’re going as we step in with our beautiful volunteer Melissa. Here we go.

When Love Gets Linked to Illness: Unraveling Childhood Conditioning

So let’s be honest how many people are really really busy in life? Everyone everybody so imagine if somebody to be my friend then you ended to be my caregiver They now do you do this they need to do this and this like there’s so many things that they need to do, right? Like that’s I’m asking a lot for somebody to do that or expecting them to. Like even when people did that for me, I would always find some way if I could reciprocate and, you know, and bingo.

So bingo, so give me one second. The other thing is, is this.
When you connect things with love, it gets linked up and it’s not always intentional. It’s kind of like this. Have you ever seen before a little child, they get an owie. And so a loving adult comes by and says, “Oh, let me kiss it and make it better,” right? Love gets linked up to illness right there.
– Absolutely, yes.
– That was my experience being, you know, being young. If I got a cut, my mother was all over it, right?
– You can go. So then what’s happening is you have gone through life feeling unloved nobody’s there lost love hurt left alone wounded all of that and so you need cuts to get love because your subconscious mind says well how do I get love and it says oh well I need a cut I need an owie I need a sickness but then it’s not working now as an adult and you’re like but nobody but this is why you’re there’s a rule that says my mom told me I get love for cuts. You see it?
– Yeah, brilliant. I got you. This makes sense.
Bingo. I love your awareness. I love your awareness. And by the way, Bingo, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people because of the owie. Oh, let me kiss your booboo or your owie and make it better. And then somebody might go up and have no health issues at all. But then let’s say they get 30, 40, 50 years old, then they find themselves in life in a place where they’re lonely. We need love and connection. So then the subconscious mind says, but how do I get love? How do I get love? Oh, that’s right. When I was six if I had an owie, I could get love and connection.
– That resonates.

So Bingo, so the thing of it is as your relationships moving forward, I would say that people are already really busy. Be a blissful, wonderful, loving connection where people feel love. If you make people feel loved and connection and happy and like people love connecting in that they’ll love being around you, right? But if you add more things to people’s plate and you say, “By the way, I just doubled your to-do list because now you are responsible for me too in being my friend. You’re just going to need to go through this hardship with me.” It’s a lot to ask, Right?
– I’m going to think through this. Yeah, I’m going to definitely think through this.

When the Subconscious Sabotages Healing: Rewiring for Real Connection

All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment.

You know, first and foremost, I just love her. I love her self-awareness. I love her self-honesty, just really, really beautiful. And I just want to point out is, You know, notice she mentions that this link with love and illness was through her mom growing up so she can see that. And of course it’s not intentional for her. It’s not like she wants to have illness, you know, she wouldn’t be here and working on herself and trying to heal and trying so many things if she wanted to have illness. And so that’s what you’ll want to keep in mind is that all of the time we can have goals or visions or want healing or whatever it is in our conscious mind, but the subconscious mind has counterintuitive links that actually hold you back from the very thing that you’re wanting. And so it’s tricky, especially when you want something so badly consciously, sometimes it becomes hard to fathom that your subconscious mind wouldn’t just want the same thing and so of course it’s not just about pushing through it’s about rewiring the subconscious mind for healing that of course is key because these things can be linked up at a deeper level and it just becomes the way that we see life or perceive life or get frustrated or hurt it just use that spiral and so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with beautiful Melissa. Here we go.

So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.
And by the way, have you ever known, have you ever known anybody who wanted attention and love for sympathy?
– Absolutely.
Now you can see that, right?
– Yes.
Now, if I ask you honestly how much you wanted to be around that person a lot, what would you say?
– No, it’s annoying.
Yeah, it kind of drains you, so you can only be around it so much before you feel drained, so it’s nothing personal? It’s just if somebody’s always wanting attention for sympathy, it’s like, it’s depleting.
Does that make sense?
– Yes.
Okay. Now, imagine somebody who’s always wanting attention and love and support for illness or trauma or hardship.
– No, it’s a short, exhausting as well.
Okay. It just, yeah, it drains your energy out of you, right?
– It does.
And for a lot of people, what’s healthy for them in relationship is to get together with friends and enjoy and laugh and you know and connect and so and and so what’s interesting is is like part of you is so high vibration you’ve been working on it and then the other part of you your connector piece has been hurt and trauma and it’s like so it’s this mixed so it’s you see what I’m talking about right
– mm-hmm
Okay so I love your awareness, I love it beautiful, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe…

Creating Connection Without Illness

All right, so I want to go ahead and pause it just for a really quick moment, you know…

Notice that I’m asking her to create positive connections, and of course, some people might say, well, you know, if you have a lot of negative things going on, it is impossible to create positive connections, and I would say yes and no, but it is so important. So it is crucial, but as you change on the inside, you can create more positive connections than the more you create positive connections, the more you transform, it really does feed itself if you’re willing to really transform yourself. Now, the other way I want you to think about it is like this, picture a magnet that’s on a refrigerator And it’s falling off.
So if a magnet is on the refrigerator and it keeps falling off and it keeps falling off, what does it need to do? It needs to establish a strong positive connection. So that’s the way that I want to invite you to think about it is that if somebody is ill or having a problem with a weak connection to life and feeling like they’re sick or they’re not getting better or they are afraid of dying or whatever it is. If you’re in those shoes, if you think about creating this, you know, this magnet to the refrigerator, you think, what does it need? It needs a strong positive connection to the refrigerator. If you will, though, I’m not a big fan of magnets on the refrigerator. You get my point. And so when you think about it in this way, it’s not just Important for a person who’s ill and has a lot of things going on to create a positive connection. It’s crucial.
We must create positive connections in life to be able to flourish and really Feel fulfilled in so many ways. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with beautiful Melissa. Here we go.

And this is what’s exciting. Everybody comes here with patterns. You know, you hear me, if you listen to podcast episodes, you hear me say the woman with the abusive father leaves him, finds the abuse, blah, blah, blah, blah. Or the critical mother ends up with the critical husband or wife or spouse or whatnot. So the great thing is, is all you have to do is change your patterns. But you have to be willing to change, right? Then of course, when I say you have to be willing to change, have to, is an invitation. I don’t want to control you. I’m not going to tell you you have to do anything. You don’t.
So, but that’s what I told myself going through my injury. I have to change. I have to do this. I have to heal. Like, you know, it’s just, there’s this thing. So, so I’m going to ask you to breathe and I’m going to ask you to picture what it would look like to have the most wonderful, sweet relationships where you’re laughing and connecting.
And by the way, you feel like you’re getting love and attention just for being you. No cut, no owie, no problem, no trauma, no sympathy, but you’re just getting love and connection just for being you.
Just for being you.
What would that look like?
– That would be amazing. That would be, you know, exactly what I would like to be experiencing.
Great. Now if I ask you how foreign that feels to you what would you say?
– In my current life today right now it feels very distant.
Bingo. Great. Now that’s what’s wonderful is kind of like this and unfortunately you know if I say the the woman with the abusive alcoholic father blah blah blah she might say well all men are abusive alcoholics and of course they’re not But she may have experienced that and feel that and experience that that that becomes her reality. She sees it She perceives it. It’s how she feels, right?
So what’s exciting is that you can change.
– Right, right.
So what’s exciting is that when it feels foreign to you are like, okay So far thoughts help create our lives and this is foreign to you Make it your new norm.
Make it your new norm.
And so I’m going to ask you to breathe.
And I want you to picture that you have loving, wonderful, fantastic relationships.
And you don’t need an awi, or a boo-boo, or any other cut, wound, to get love and attention, that that’s blah. You don’t need that anymore. People actually just love you for you.
They just love you for you and you can show up and you feel comfortable that you can connect, you can do peopeling, you can laugh about this or connect about this, that you can feel more and more and more and more and more comfortable with people.
More and more comfortable.
And I’m going to ask you to breathe.
And I want you to notice this would be a change for you, right?
– This is what I feel like when I’m in retreat environments like these are the kind of connections like when I’m on yoga retreats or in this is what I feel so I can tap into that feeling no problem.
Now this is what you’re saying to me is you’re saying basically if we have an assigned connector if everybody has an assignment that we’re supposed to connect over yoga or we’re supposed to connect over a retreat and now I know how to do and be because the whole environment has been set up as such, I feel like I can do peopleing very well.
– Yes, absolutely.
Exactly. But if there’s no rules around peopleing and I don’t know the structure, I don’t know feel comfortable peopleing yet.
You see it?
– Yeah.
Okay. So you just then be willing to grow and transform yourself in this area to really feel If you don’t need illness to connect anymore, does that make sense, beautiful?
– It does make sense. I definitely feel like there’s some kind of limitation I have with the environment that I’m in in New Orleans right now and this is why I’m always trying to move to a different environment. Like I feel like this doesn’t resonate with what I’m looking to create.
This is what you just said. I’m way too spiritual for people in New Orleans and I feel like I’m more elevated than people in New Orleans.
Can you see where you feel like you’re there’s none of your people in New Orleans?
– Yeah, I don’t feel like there’s my people. Yeah, definitely.
Yes, probably in the whole city there are probably no spiritual people there at all.
You’re probably right. There’s none. It’s a Or,
or Lane? What’s that city?
Bingo. So what you’re saying is, oh, and all men are abusive alcoholics, right?
– Right, right, right, right.
I hear you. You gave me a lot to think about. I mean, this is a lot to like, you know, obviously I wasn’t aware of and there’s an element of my ego that wants to be like, no, no, no, that’s not true. And then I’m like, well, I really need to sit down and think about this and kind of feel my way through it.
– Okay, let’s simplify it.
– Okay.

If you knew that there were people like retreat type of people in New Orleans that you could connect with and you felt comfort, notice how you melt.
– Yeah, absolutely.
– Yeah.
– Now you’re not gonna believe this, but there are actually spiritual people that even I have that I know that I have in New Orleans, did you know that?
– You listen like so absolutely.
So if they’re listening to me and you’re listening to me, I can tell you there are people on the map.
– Right, right, right, right.
– That you haven’t found.
– Exactly, right.
But the thing of it is is this the superiority pattern won’t let you because there’s a part of you that says I’m elevated consciousness above these people can you see that
– okay okay so this is the thing right let’s say…

Letting Go of Spiritual Superiority to Truly Connect

All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a very quick moment

You know first again I just love her she’s just beautiful and brilliant and lovely and wonderful and what I wanted to note was this is that I mentioned you know the superiority pattern won’t let you see if you will that there are spiritual people and this is what I mean it’s like if somebody says all men are abusive alcoholics then that’s what they tend to see and find and attract, or if they said, you know, all people are stupid, they might just see through that lens that people they perceive people to be stupid. So if there’s a spiritual superiority that says nobody else is as spiritual as I am, so to speak, then what happens is you’ll see through that lens that says there’s nobody.
And so If you recall on the past episodes, we were talking about that feeling of spiritual superiority being really strong and so what happens is it feels really hard to connect with anybody if there’s that strong feeling of spiritual superiority because you won’t be able to see it.
It’s just, “Oh, I’m more spiritual, I’m more spiritual than everybody,” and you can’t see it.
And notice, even in my own life, you know, obviously, you know, I can get information and heal myself and have very, very deep spirituality. And yet, I see the spirituality in people. I see that, you know, it’s all around me, the universe, the energy, like I can connect with people in that way. And I don’t feel a disconnect. I feel a beautiful, beautiful, wonderful connection with all people and so when we open our minds in that way and we don’t have that spiritual superiority blocking us we can feel that deep sense of connection all around us and of course though there are other patterns that are also going on to consider and so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with beautiful Melissa. Here we go.

This is the other thing: Imagine if I said I will only connect with people who have the same level of gift that I do, and that’s it.
Now who would I be connecting?
– so but that’s the thing they do have different gifts that they’re present or they’re
They can be in with music or with like so many different beautiful gifts and talents and being present and having fun. And that’s what I love to do with friends anyways, is to be present, to show up. A lot of times we’re not talking about spirituality and connection, we’re like, we’re connecting, you know, or we’re busy, you know, connecting or going for a walk down in Larchmont or at a farmer’s mart, like they’re just being right loving life.
– okay so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
– okay
And this is what your energy just said it this is like but I don’t want to have to love life
– really
– yeah
So the thing of it is I said I’m gonna ask you to close your eyes and I’m gonna ask you what if you knew that you’re not the problem but some of these patterns and these ways of thinking are not serving you, but you’re not the problem.
So you, don’t take it personally, you are not the problem, you’re the solution.
But some of these patterns are sending you in the wrong directions, kind of like this.
If I had a pattern of cooking dinner, and then right after I take it off the stove, I throw the pan upside down, and then I carry it to the table and I’m always starving. You would say, well, maybe your cooking isn’t the problem, but this pattern where you throw everything on the floor is the problem, right?
So it’s just realizing you’re not the problem, but there’s some patterns that are sabotaging the connection in your life.
And if you were to change them and even grow in a way of connecting, just like you said, you can connect with people.
When you’re at a retreat, how well do you connect with people?
– Great. Amazing. Wonderful.
Yes.
– Great. Amazing. Wonderful. Right?
Now, by the way, 30 years ago, would you know how to connect with people at a retreat?
– No.
– Oh, so you mean you got that skill?
– I think I’ve opened myself up more. But what I’m saying is you didn’t have that skill before, and now you do.
Right, so I’m saying you can develop peopleing skills all over the place. You’ve shown that you can develop peopleing skills, right?
– mm-hmm
Okay, so bingo.

Redefining Spirituality, Love, and the Path Forward

Bingo, so I asked the universe I said, okay, cuz I know There’s a there’s a resistance to change and what I would say is one of the biggest things that will help you is Opening up your definition to spiritual.
That spiritual is, because there’s part of you that’s very addicted to being spiritual.
Can you see that?
– Yes.
Okay. But what if everybody’s spiritual?
– Agreed.
– Agreed. Right? So what if your life is just spiritual?
Okay. And you can go and do and be and that is spiritual.
– Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
Fantastic, bingo. All right,
so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
And I just want you to notice right now, if you knew that love was possible, that you could connect and friendship and be and do, and it can be spiritual. Even if you’re just walking on the beach, even if you’re just riding bikes, bikes on the beach, or going for a hike, or going to yoga, or listening to music, and going to a concert, or jazz, dinner, or something.
But all of that can be very spiritual and connected.
– Totally agree with that. I mean, I think there’s high-flying spiritual things in very small moments.
– So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
If you knew you were safe in that connection, if you knew you were safe in that connection and notice how big your smile gets when I say that
– yeah
– uh-huh
– so I’m gonna ask you to breathe
If you knew you were safe in that connection how excited would you be to dive in and expand in that do you see it
– 200%
– exactly
– exciting
– yes
So you’re not resisting it because You don’t want it. You’re resisting it because you’re afraid to get rejected or hurt again and again
– Yes, absolutely,
But the great thing is it’s kind of like this for me to heal I Or anything I mean kind of like this.
Okay when we learn how to walk as a child We stand up we fall we stand up we fall we stand it and before you know it we’re two years old and getting into everything, right?
Okay
So just because it hasn’t worked out in the past doesn’t mean it’s not going to work out in the future.
You just got to make some tweaks.
– Okay. Great.
So I’m going to ask you to breathe.
So notice and take that in. If you know that you just need to make some tweaks, some changes, some changes, and that you could get good at this.
If I ask you how much more you would love life.
– Definitely. Yeah. I mean, a lot more.
– Yes.
So the thing that you want to know is that you can absolutely do that, right?
You can absolutely do that.
And so this is what I would do is ultimately I want to kind of bring it all together and it’s this.
Number one, I want you to start thinking about peopleing and picturing yourself peopleing and taking in the feeling that you can be connecting with people and and feel that feeling even the retreat feeling but then also feeling like it’s safe to then connect with people here and safe. That’s one thing.
Another thing is, is that I want to invite you to notice how much you’re telling yourself that you’re not loved, okay, that if they don’t do this or they don’t do this or they don’t do this, so it’s a lot of your hurt is coming from how much you’re telling yourself you’re not loved. Like to be your friend I now have to jump through hoops, I got to jump over a six-foot wall, I got to be this and do that and all of those. So it doesn’t mean somebody doesn’t love you, right?
Okay, and especially growing up, feeling like you get love for always, then when that doesn’t happen, now you feel like, well, wait a second here, right?
So if you could do that, and then the other thing that I would strongly recommend.
So moving it forward, wanting love, feeling love, feeling like it’s possible in life itself, and also starting to change the way you feel towards life on purpose.
Because remember, the more you feel great about towards life, the more life will feel great about you, right?
And then the other thing I would recommend is I think you can see you’ve got kind of several patterns going on here and I would recommend strongly recommend getting in my video course.
It’ll walk you through making those changes because there’s there’s some core things that have been going on here. And I would
– sounds like video courses. What’s up next?
– I feel relieved, I do feel like I understand better, but I’m more confused at the same time. Does that make sense? Like I understand more and now I understand that there’s more I’m confused about.
– Okay, so, Bingo,
what are you confused about?
– I’m confused about taking ownership of this and how to move forward in a different way when I feel like I have been moving forward in a different way. So I’m like, I don’t know what exactly to do next.
– Because.
– Okay, so number one. So you’re telling yourself I have been. Okay.
Now notice you’re telling yourself there are no people in New Orleans who are spiritual.
And yet I can tell you I have people who email in and have people in my community who are in New Orleans, right?
So if I told myself There is nobody around me in my city at all who I can even connect with.
How am I gonna feel?
– Well, yeah, you’re not gonna feel good and it’s not that I feel like there’s no one. I just feel like I don’t know them and I haven’t found them.
– Okay, bingo.
Okay, so it makes me want to break it down a little bit more and say this, okay?
So the woman with the abusive alcohol who leaves him and finds the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, right?
Now I want you to think about this for a moment.
Imagine she has not fixed that pattern and she goes out on a date with a man.
Do you think she’s with the wrong type of guy? She’s got the wrong type of guy.
Do you think she says to him, “I just want to make sure you’re going to start abusing me in about 10 months or so,” or else this whole thing is not going to work?
– Absolutely not.
– Absolutely.
– Oh, does he abuse her on their first date and she’s like, “You’re you’re my guy.
What’s my point?
That patterns show up on a subconscious level, even when we don’t realize it.
And so what we need to do is really repattern the mind is really start seeing and feeling and changing the patterns because even when we try to outrun our patterns, they show back up.
– Great.
– Okay, and that’s why I said, and so part of your pattern you’ve been stuck in is notice what you said.
You said, even with friends, they’re not there enough for your health and what if you’re not feeling, you’re feeling sick and you’re too weak to go to the grocery store and you’re, so it’s that same pattern of wanting love for illness and problems and trauma and hardship.
And so what I’m asking you to do is I’m asking you to really create love and connection, not necessarily only around retreats and not only around illness and problems and hardship, but really start showing up in a different way.
And then not only that, but imagine if I said, well, if everybody doesn’t, if my friend didn’t drop everything and or everything all at once just for me, then clearly I’m unloved.
Notice this is what you, this is part of what you said.
My friendships now, I feel like I’m more there for them than they are for me. They’re not supporting me enough.
I do Notice when I said I don’t even ask anything of my friends.

Starving for Connection: Why Patterns Must Change to Truly Heal

All right, so I want to go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment to provide a little bit of clarity here

Because notice What she’s saying she’s saying that she’s confused about what to do because she’s already tried everything. And so what I’m trying to communicate to her and tell her is that the way that she is thinking and feeling is causing her a lot of pain. Now of course, these are emotional patterns and so they’re also running her consciousness and the way she’s seeing and perceiving and taking in life, but that’s exactly it. yet.
So notice for a moment, if I told myself that there is no oxygen, my nervous system is not going to feel safe.
Now, we need love and connection. And notice in her life, she’s had a pattern of rejection, which we talked about on the last part on the earlier part of this session, in last podcast episodes, we talked about that pattern of rejection, but also notice that she’s been telling herself that other people don’t love her as much, like she’s doing more for them and they just don’t love her, they’re not caring towards her, there’s nobody as spiritual, so then there’s no spiritual people in New Orleans, which is not true, but she’s telling herself that.
My point is, is there are all of these ways that she’s starving for love and connection, which we talked about previously early on in the session.
And so my point is, if somebody feels like they’re starving for love, or they’re starving for oxygen, and there’s no way to get it, because there are no spiritual people, there’s nobody who cares, that even when she’s connected, people don’t really love her, etc. It’s that feeling.
So How is a person going to feel if they say, no matter what I do, there is no oxygen? It’s going to be hard to really feel like you can flourish and be happy and healthy.
And so similarly, we need love. We need connection. And so there are all of these feelings and beliefs and perceptions and patterns that are telling her that it’s not possible.
And so, you know, she mentions that she’s already done everything to try to heal and yet we can see this wounding, this hurt, these patterns are very much affecting her and creating a lot of pain and hurt and so changing these are key to be able to you know see in a different way, to feel in a different way and to also attract in a different way.
Now when we step back in and we continue with the session, we’re talking about some of the practical things, like the actionable things, but what you’ll want to also keep in mind is that shifting the pattern is really key for what you’re attracting, what you’re experiencing, what you’re perceiving in life.
And so when you shift that pattern, you shift the consciousness, you shift, you create that real change in life.
And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Melissa. Here we go.

Letting Go of Unspoken Expectations: The Key to Feeling Loved

Like, okay. So who supports you if you’re like, you know, like,
and not that this is the common everyday thing, but you know, if you have a flu And you need a ride to the doctor because you can’t drive.
Okay, so a few things number one delete delete I can’t even remember the last time I was sick like that’s okay I don’t think I’ve had a cold since 2010 11 someone like I mean I I didn’t get COVID I I haven’t I don’t get thank God. I don’t get sick.
So that’s great And I appreciate that And so so there’s that and who would I if something that which is not so let’s say I was somebody else let’s say somebody else was in that situation I mean uh uh Uber could do it but yeah and I mean I think a lot of these things I’m thinking about pre-dates before we had online shopping pre-dates before we had Uber and I don’t feel like you know I might have a relationship with a friend and everything is great and we’re you know I feel like it’s working great and then she needs something and I’m there for her and then if I need something they’re not there for me
But see but this is what I’m saying is I think the differences is did people show up for me in my friendships when I was injured yes did everybody no not necessarily but there were also people that I didn’t necessarily want around but the other thing is I didn’t expect it from anybody.
I did not.
So notice the difference between what you and I are saying is this.
You’re placing expectation on them and then feeling hurt that they’re not giving it to you.
– Okay.
I didn’t have any expectation of it. So I’m not feeling unloved and hurt like
imagine if I said I expected you to show up with the baseball cap on and you don’t have one and my feelings are very hurt about that
well when did I communicate that expectation to you and why would I suddenly expect that when you didn’t tell me you were going to be doing that anyway
– right that that makes sense
– did your friends say I’m going to do this for you and then they didn’t do it?
– I mean, not in every, not in every situation. No, absolutely not.
– Yeah. So that, so in other words, yeah, I don’t, I never think my friends should be doing this for me. I don’t, I don’t, unless I ask somebody to do something and I say, hey, could you do XYZ?

Expecting Love and Attention for Illness

And not only that but again remember I mean I went through wheelchair/walker/cane all of that I mean, I also I did not like I mean yeah, and again, I don’t want to sound like I didn’t have people there helping me I did
but I mean there was also a night that I literally That makes me laugh
That I mean there’s a night that I was going up this like I had stairs and like I there’s a night that I slept on the stairs with my two little dogs because I couldn’t make it like because I would go backwards up and I couldn’t make it and I was like okay we’re sleeping here because I that’s how I would crawl up then and so it just was what it was
I laughed because there was another time a friend did take me to the hospital in the middle of the night and it was kind of funny and not at the moment but in hindsight because then we were leaving emergency room, it was like, I don’t know, like two o’clock in the morning and she forgot the paperwork. So she set my wheelchair, like she goes, oh, let me run back inside to go get the paperwork. So then she did that.
And suddenly my wheelchair started to roll. And I went into the sprinklers at like two or three in the morning.
Not only that, but you know, in the emergency room where you’re laying under all the warm, I like the little warm hospital blanket, but like I would have them like pile blankets on me like crazy
So anyways, so I was not actually thrilled because I hate being cold
But she did she and she took me to the hospital in the middle of the night
What can I say so so have I had been so just respecting I have had and I did have
But I never expected it to happen and I’m also very resourceful and independent that if I need something I’ll figure it out no matter what situation I’ll figure it out
And so so the thing of it is is that it’s kind of like this
how often do people tell others when they’re sick people have a tendency to expect love and attention for it right
– right
– okay so if you had a hemorrhage would you tell everybody everybody?
– No.
– Why not?
Notice.
And then, literally, if you think about it, people are always like, “No.”
And it’s like, “Well, wait a second. If you have other health issues, so what you’re saying is it’s okay to connect with people who are on some health issues, but other health issues you don’t want connection over?”
So, but that’s my point is then you become very present and say, “Well, why do I even want to connect over health issues to begin with?”
– This is a good point.
– Okay. That’s a good point. And I think, I think what tends to happen is when I’m going through something like waiting for a biopsy or waiting for labs, I don’t want to speak. I kind of want to keep people at a distance because I want to be really careful what the words are that I’m putting around that. And I don’t want to speak too much about it.
– Which is Wise, but go have fun and do other things then, right? You don’t need to push people away.
– Okay, then that’s the thing, because that’s what’s dominating my mind. And so I’m like, if I can’t talk to you about this or it doesn’t feel safe, I’m gonna withdraw and…
– And that’s where you wanna really do your own emotional processing.
And now you might say, well, Brandy, I was in fear, but please remember, I was wheelchair walker, cane, in absolute mess
And I was in a ton of fear and I had to get rid of it to heal.
So I get it Been there done that in a different way
Yeah, you’ve got to be good at your emotions and you’re saying but I have all these emotions And I need to dump them on somebody and I’m saying I’ve been there in my own different way
And I didn’t dump them on anybody
I transformed them and that’s what I’d recommend.
– Yep
– Yes, but but think about what you’re saying. You just said this, you said, but if I have all these emotions, I just pull away from everybody because I don’t want to talk about it. And I said, I hear you.
– Right.
– And instead, transform your emotions. That is the whole point of it anyway.
– Right?
– Yes.
– His healing.
Okay, so I’m going to ask you to breathe or put it in other words, how you’re metabolizing things,
Okay, the way you’re taking it in — Change it. Change it. Change it.
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe…
Bingo.

Key Takeaways

This is the gift. These are the takeaways that I want you to take away from it…

Number one I want you to take away a feeling of excitement that the great thing is it’s not that oh your ex-husband did this and then this Person did this and this person did this and then you’re powerless and people are this way and you can’t do anything about it.
You go, oh wait, I have a pattern. This is exciting because now you can change it.
And so you have the, when we’re victims in life and everybody’s doing this, this and this and there’s nothing we can fix, it’s powerless.
But when we can fix it, it’s powerful, right?
So you go from being victim to victory, powerless to powerful, right?
Okay, so that’s one thing.
Now, if you go,
okay, I see this pattern, now I can get out of it, and also then start to go,
okay, I’ve also saw through a lens of superiority.
No wonder why I’m having a hard time finding people.
It’s like if the woman said all men are abusive alcoholics, no wonder why I’m having a hard time finding a nice guy, because I’m seeing through this lens,
Right, so if you’re seeing through the superiority lens, of course you’re having a hard time finding people
All you’re gonna see is people who quote-unquote aren’t your person.
All right, of course
Right, so so then being willing to start seeing in a different way seeing the greatness in people because what will happen is
You’ll want to connect even more.
You’re in a whole city where you’re saying there’s a bunch of people. I just don’t want to connect with
– Right, yes
– For the woman who sees all men are abusive alcoholics. She’s like man. I want a relationship.
Well changing the city
Go to a different planet
It’s all about the awareness.
– Yeah, exactly
– that you’ll start seeing so the woman who says all men are abusive alcoholics I just don’t want to date
– will change your lens
Because they’re there
You just got to see in a different way, right?
– Great, great, great.
Can I tell you with so much respect?
We could have sat here also and talked about all of the goodness in you and your heart and your care and I see so much So many beautiful things also and then of course what you asked me about was what’s going on with your health
So of course we looked at the the big wounding areas and said hey, there’s this
Right?
But I see that other part too, just so you know, and I acknowledge that other part as well, as well.
Very, very much. I adore you, and it has been such a pleasure.
– Beautiful. Thank you.
– It’s really, really been eye-opening, and yeah, this is a lot to wrap my head around, but it’s amazing, and I’m super grateful, Brandy. Thank you so much.
– You’re welcome, beautiful. You are actually so, so So welcome. Great.

Bringing Everything Together

All right, so let’s go ahead and bring everything together…

And you know, first and foremost, I just love her. I have so much respect for her. She is amazing and brilliant and beautiful and I love her self honesty. Just a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful being.
And when we go to pack this and really bring everything together, what we can see is we look at the big picture of everything that’s going on, that there’s still a lot of hurt that’s going on.
She mentioned early on in the session, in the past episodes, she mentioned that she’s got a lot of fear about jumping back into life, like there is so much fear that’s been linked up to life.
So as you’ll recall, there was this feeling of checking out and meditating and checking out and meditating, but then going into life felt very, very scary.
And so that was linked up over and over and over and over again.
And what happens is the more these things get linked up, especially with repetition, the more that we have to really feel differently with the more we have to reprogram the mind to link up something different in life.
And so one of the things is really shifting into safety.
So we talked about that early on, but notice these other patterns where she’s seeing and perceiving that people aren’t spiritual or there’s no spiritual people in New Orleans or she’s seeing through a lens of feeling like people don’t really love her.
They’re not doing enough in the relationship.
So there’s all of this hurt that’s affecting her.
And so that’s the point.
And that’s what you want to notice for a moment is that so often people are in the same situation as she is.
So that’s part of the reason that I just absolutely love this episode is it’s not just her who’s doing these things.
Even I did these things in my own way where I felt like I was meditating, I was thinking positively, I was doing the affirmations, I was doing the things, if you will, and I wasn’t healing.
But it wasn’t until I changed my mindset at a deeper level where I shifted my consciousness, I shifted my patterns, I shifted my subconscious programming at a deeper level,
then I could see in a different way
then I could attract in a different way
then my body also healed
and so that’s exactly the point
and that’s also the reason that I recommended that she really go through my video course is for that very reason is creating that shift at a deeper level in the subconscious mind because when you change at that level
that’s When the world that you see, the way you see things, the way you perceive things, the way you feel about things, you really shift that.
That’s when everything changes.
And so that’s the point.
And so if you are somebody who has been feeling like you’re doing everything, what I love about this episode is you can see the contrast where somebody feels exactly that way.
Where our beautiful volunteer, she feels Like she’s been doing everything through meditation and positive thinking and spirituality,
but you can see That her perception has not changed
her hurt has not changed
her patterns have not changed
and so again said with so much respect because
What I also love and what is so powerful about this episode is just her level of self-honesty
her level of clarity
her level of just being real and authentic.
And so I just love that so much and it’s powerful.
And so notice even when she was talking about her mom growing up, there was that connection with illness and love, etc.
So just her authenticity is just so beautiful.
And so I love that.
And again, just so many insights from this episode.
And my biggest hope is that you take something from this and apply it in your own life.

Please Share This Episode

And as always, if I can ask you to take just one quick moment to hit the share button on this episode…

You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know, because the more that every single person in our world is happy and healthy and loved and loving, the better this world is for all of us.
And so please do.
Take just a quick moment to hit the share button and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, happy, healthy, loving, incredible rest of your day.
And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.
We’ll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life

All of the time people reach out and say how much these Episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times Or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all Really are
If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind In any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it.
As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better.
That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.
And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results.
But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind.
You’re incredible.
And I do want to be clear though that most people will not get results this fast on their own.
I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.
You want to remember that there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize.
That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast.
And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.
Lastly, please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won’t want to avoid your doctors.
Instead, you’ll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you’re capable of with your mind.
Thank you.