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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I love that you're here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love you. Today's episode, our volunteer. She's just, she's beautiful inside and out. Just great self awareness, beautiful heart, beautiful intentions, great self honesty.

And what I love is that as we're working on her healing, she just, she has, she's just great at being self, just honest with herself. And real with her emotions. And I love that. Just so many things I love about this episode. Another thing that I love is this, is it some of the patterns that we're going to talk about today, affect more people than they realize, meaning as we dive in, you'll see what I mean.

But some of these patterns are very common, but people don't consciously realize that it's affecting their health. In fact. You'll notice today's volunteer, she even said that very thing. She, as we were wrapping up, she said, Brandy, she said, I would have never guessed that these were the patterns that were affecting my health.

And yet, as we were working on them, she could feel the changes. She could feel the changes in her throat, and so she could feel the differences. And so, point being, just, These patterns affect so many people, but yet they don't realize it. And so that's where we're going today. Just a beautiful self awareness with our volunteer.

Now, as we dive in, a reminder, our volunteer, her name is Cheryl, and I actually started working with on last week's episode. Now, let me clarify that. Technically I had one session with her, but because it was about an hour long and then with insights, it would have been like two hours. So, so instead I cut it in half.

And so last week we did the first half of the session with insights and session. And today we're going to step into the second half of the session. Now, where we left off last week, as you'll recall, basically she, Cheryl was noticing that There were patterns of feeling like if she was really happy that people wouldn't love her and like that her sister wouldn't love her if she was too happy.

Now, of course, what we started to look at also are a few things. One, Is that she was trying to kind of make others be happy. So that was part of what was going on. And another thing was that she had it linked up in her mind that if she was happy, people wouldn't like it. And so what happens is that. Those things tend to manifest.

And so it's kind of like if somebody says, Oh, well, if, if I have success, people aren't going to like it. And so what happens is they end up with a behavior that people won't like. Meaning that somebody might be successful and then they're really rude or arrogant. And so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Or if somebody has it linked up that, Oh, if I'm happy, people won't like it. Then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Maybe they have some type of behavior. They're pushy. They're trying to push their happiness on others. And so it manifests. Now, oddly, you might think how is this gonna affect somebody's health?

But I see these things all the time. And of course, as we dive in deeper, you'll see more of what I mean and more of the reason that it is so impactful. But that's the point is that a lot of these patterns are so counterintuitive and that's the reason that you always hear me use the example of, you know, unfortunately a cutter, somebody who may cut themselves and experience feelings of relief or euphoria or control or safety from cutting themselves.

Now, of course, consciously there's a part of them that says, wait a second, this doesn't make sense, but those emotions get linked up. And so at a subconscious level, a lot of times the emotions. that are connected to illness are counterintuitive. They are not healthy patterns. They're miswired. And so that's where we're going now, as we step back into the second half with Cheryl, you'll notice we're picking up the topic with where we left off, which was basically, People not feeling like, her feeling like she can't be happy because people won't like it and having a lot of hurt around that.

And so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Cheryl. Here we go.

And I want you to picture what it would look like that you see yourself walking around and connecting with people and they love that you're happy. They love that you're happy and it is safe and is wonderful. They love that you're happy. You love that they're happy and it's beautiful and it's beautiful.

And by the way, if you see somebody who's not happy, you don't have to force them to be happy because a lot of times if people are in a negative state, they're, they're that you don't want to force them, right? You just want to let them be them. Okay. Now. Notice how much, if people were down, you tried to make them be happier and more positive, right?

Yeah, I tried to help too much. Exactly. In their own ways. Mm hmm. So notice, even, even when I work with people, a lot of times I'll say something like this. I say, you know, you could stay in the negative if you want. It's up to you. Or you could change. It's up to you, right? So even in working with people, I very much do.

I always respect whatever anybody wants to do. I can't change anybody who doesn't want to change. And I don't want to change anybody. I want them to want to change. Okay. So a lot of times when, when I see people who are working with other, like are trying to do and help somebody, a lot of times they're actually unknowingly reinforcing the negative that is most of the time they're reinforcing or triggering a negative or something like that, that it's going to negatively impact them.

And, and so, so my point is, is I want you to picture yourself being absolutely happy and Not trying to force it upon anybody else. You don't need to force it on anybody else. Instead, what happens if you're attracting people who are happy and attracting people who are happy, and that's what you're doing.

You're attracting other people who are happy. What does that look like? Oh, that looks easy. Right? That looks like things will be easier. Great. And if I asked you how much your husband right now likes when you're happy, what would you say? Okay. Oh, he loves it. Yeah. He loves it. Yeah. He loves it. Now, how loving and sweet is he?

He's really sweet. Yeah. Okay. So, Bingo, and if I ask you to notice how much you're worried about him being angry at you, what would you say? Not very much at all. Probably, I worry less about him being angry at me than anybody. Okay, right? Right. I would agree, because to see it as your sister being the, the, uh, this huge person, this person in your life, that you're afraid of her being mad at you.

You see it, right? Yeah. So, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe.

Now, it's kinda like this. Have you ever seen a baby get on the floor and throw a tantrum? Yes. Okay. Now if a baby gets on the floor and throws a tantrum, and a mother gets really, really, really, really Or, baby gets on the floor and throws a tantrum, and she says, Okay, baby's throwing a tantrum, let the baby throw a tantrum for a bit, and I'll just understand and have compassion, and understand, okay?

Mm hmm. Which one is better? Just understanding and having compassion. Understand. Now, if the baby's throwing a tantrum and the mom starts laughing and says, ha ha, you're throwing a tantrum. What happens the baby? What's the baby gonna do? Oh, once they're mad, makes Makes more mad. Mad. Yeah. Right. So you don't wanna provoke it, but you don't wanna be.

upset by it, but if you also know that this is your sister's behavior, that she might be, did that maybe with your mom sometimes, or your dad, or whatnot, that she gets very upset, that you could let her, let that be her emotion, that you don't have to get upset by. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. So, a lot of times when people get triggered, it's like if they get triggered by somebody else, they One of two things has to happen.

Either you have to change first or your sister has to change first. Now, who do you think is going to change first? You or your sister? Me. Right? So if you need to wait for her to change first, you might be waiting a very, very, very long time. Who knows if she's going to change? The other thing is, is imagine if she changes first.

The problem is, is you both have your patterns. She has her pattern, you have your pattern. So likely what would happen is if you, if she does change her pattern first, what's going to happen? Likely you'll just attract somebody else anyway. So you still would need to change you. Does that make sense? Yes, that makes sense.

So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

Bingo. Now, I want you to notice this for a moment. If I ask you, honestly, growing up, how much there was part of you who kind of liked to antagonize her a little bit with being happy and being, oh, playful and how much? Yeah. Yeah. How much did you kind of like to antagonize her that way? What would you say?

Well, I tried to get her to play with me, but it usually backfired. Yeah. So notice how this pattern started was trying to get her to play with you and antagonizing a bit. And that's what she kept saying. It's overbearing. Okay, so it's in a different state, right? Right. So, in other words, this has been your pattern, but you can easily change it, right?

Right. Okay. So, bingo. So, I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Now, the great thing is, you know what the great thing is? Is that happiness is not the problem. Happiness is not the problem, and you don't want to tell yourself that happiness is the problem. Okay. Does that make sense? Yes. Because if you tell yourself that happiness is the problem, then your brain is not going to want to be happy.

Right. Okay? So if I tell myself, oh, it's not safe to be happy, well, that's not good. But if I say, okay, well, when I'm happy, I don't need to antagonize people who are instead, I'll go play with people who are happy and connect in that way and have fun with people who are happy. And then maybe some other people who may want to join, they can play too if they want to join.

But. Let me connect with people who want to, who want to be happy. Right? Right. Because again, you can't change people who don't want to change. That make sense? Yes, that makes sense. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, by the way, if I go up to a bear and I'm like, Hey, I'm really happy. I'm really happy.

So I poke the bear and say, Hey, do you want to play? How's that gonna go? Not good.

So if there's somebody who's in an angry or depressed mood or upset mood and I'm like, oh, I'm happy and I start poking at them. How's it gonna go? Probably not very good, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then I say, oh, well, the problem is nobody wants me to be happy. Well, the problem is I probably shouldn't get all happy and poke the bear, right?

It's probably not a good idea to poke a lion and say, but I'm happy you want to play, right? As much as I love lions, they probably won't respond well to that. Right. Okay. So when you're happy, so notice, by the way, how it backfired even as a child when you wanted to get her to play with you. You would do this and then it would backfire.

You can see it, right? Yeah. Okay. So is it easy to change this pattern? Sure. Yeah. Great, right? It's easy to change this pattern. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a very quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love her. I love her self awareness, her self honesty, and you'll hear me say that throughout because there's something you want to keep in mind is notice we just talked about how this pattern started in her childhood and we'll talk more about that because likely it's different than you think.

Yet, what is beautiful is that she just has this great awareness, great self awareness, great self honesty, and a beautiful willingness to change. And I love that. I love that about her. And the thing you want to keep in mind, and we'll talk about this as we continue on, is that when patterns start to change, In your childhood, it really shapes your life.

The way you see life, the way you perceive life. And not only that, but you know, if you're familiar with my work, you know, that emotion controlled consciousness, you know, our subconscious. Emotions control the way we see the world, what we think, the way we see, you know, so then we form beliefs around it. So we think, okay, well, you know, people are just mean, or people are nice, or people are this, or whatever it is, like it shapes our perception.

And so the reason that you'll hear me continue to compliment her self awareness is because When somebody's consciousness, their world is shaped in a certain way, or you see things, perceive things in a certain way, and then you're willing to see them in a new way, it's beautiful. And she does just so well at that.

So I just wanted to remind you as we go through, just keep that in mind, not only for herself, but for you, you know, thinking about yourself and any patterns that you have, just, it's a powerful insight. And so that said, Let's dive back in with Cheryl. Here we go.

So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you just for a moment to picture what it looks like to feel safe, to be happy and healthy, and that you can be safe, to be happy and healthy and loved. Bingo. Bingo. Now, if I ask you zero to 10, how much you feel like your sister's an angry person, what would you say?

Zero to 10, um, seven. Okay. And if I ask you, why do you want to connect with her so much? I worry about her. Okay, and so, bingo. We're twins, so. Okay. It's a twin thing.

I understand, I've known a lot of twins, and I have nephews that are a twin, and I've got close friends that are twins, and I've worked with twins, and I get it. I get it, okay? And bingo. And I've also seen twins, by the way, purposely choose separate colleges, purposely live across in different areas. I've seen twins purposely want to do exact opposite from one another because they wanted their own identity.

So I wouldn't say it's necessarily it's a twin thing. I would say it's a you thing on how you think that you should be. in your twin connection. Does that make sense? Yes. So it's kind of like this. How much of your life have you been wanting her approval? All of it. Mm hmm. And if I ask you how much you feel like you've been begging for her approval or wanting her attention or wanting her to connect with you, how much you would say that and you've, how much you would say that you've experienced a lot of rejection from her, what would you say?

Oh yeah, definitely. Zero to 10, what would you say? 20. Mm hmm. 20. Is that a 20? No. Okay. So notice your relationship with this twin thing isn't a healthy one, but you're calling it a twin thing because you feel like you've had this, you need to have this connection. So you have this belief that you need to have this connection because you're twins.

And yet you felt all of this rejection from her in this area. Can you see that? Yes. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I want to invite you to close your eyes. Okay. And what if, what if she wants to connect with you? What if she wants to connect with you? What would that feel like? Oh, that would feel nice.

Yeah. Right. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. So what if she wants to connect with you? What if you're not chasing her love, but she's wanting to connect with you? What if you feel great about you? What if you're happy and healthy and loving and confident and you feel secure and great about you? And she wants to connect with you.

What does that feel like? Oh, that would be amazing. I can feel that in my throat. Bingo. You can feel that in your throat. Yeah. Uh huh. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. and take in the feeling. What does that feel like if she wants to connect with you? You're not feeling rejected at all, but instead you feel confident and happy and healthy and you love you and she wants to connect with you and you feel good about you.

How big of a change is that? That's a 190 degree shift. It is, right? Yeah. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Oh, what, that means you have to love you? Yeah. And you have to feel good about you? Yeah. Okay. That means you can't stay in this cycle of rejection and then just saying, Oh, well, it's a twin thing. Oh, well, I just going to justify.

It's a twin thing. I just care. I'm just worried about her, et cetera, et cetera. You see this, the unhealthy way that you're in the relationship. Can you see that? I do. Okay. So just for a moment, by the way, notice if somebody's chasing you, if somebody's chasing you and chasing you and chasing you, how much do you run?

A lot. So the thing of it is, how long have you been chasing her? Um, 52 years. So how would you feel if you stopped chasing?

I'd feel good. They'll feel good. So what if you stop chasing and instead you create a vision? And you have this vision where she wants to connect with you and you want to connect with her and you guys are equals. So you're equal and you're loving and you're connecting and you're equal and you're not feeling rejected.

You feel confident. You feel happy. You feel secure to be you. Not trying to change her. So you stop trying to change her. You stop trying to antagonize her to make her play with you. Any of those things. You stop doing any of that. You wait for her to call you. You leave the door open, of course. So it's not in a mean way.

Just leaving the door open and feeling good about you. And notice for a moment, who usually calls who more? You call her or she calls you more?

I probably call her more. A little bit more or a lot more?

It just depends. If she's mad at me, she doesn't call me at all. And so I call her. Okay. So notice that cycle. That makes sense. Yeah, and since I've been sick, she texts me every day, checks on me, you know, since I've hadn't been feeling good. But I don't want to be sick for attention. I don't, I know how that goes.

I don't want that. Okay. So instead, you could start telling her, Hey, I'm doing good. So even if she texts you to check how you're feeling, you could say, Oh, I'm doing good. How is your day going? How is, and then connect with her on a positive or say, feeling happy, feeling more positive. How are you doing? So you can start taking it in a positive direction.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

So this is what I would say is this. If I ask your body in the very beginning, if you feel like it's safe to heal zero to 10, it says negative 50. Okay. Because it says, oh, well, she'll be mad. Oh, I'll lose love. I'll lose my twin, my other half because, oh, she texts me when, when I'm sick. And then also you don't want her to be mad at you.

And then also you feel like if you're too happy, then she won't like you and it's overbearing. So you have all of these things going on. Does that make sense? Yes. So I don't want to push a lot, but notice even as we were doing this, you felt it in your throat, right? Yeah. Right. So beautiful job with your energy.

So what I want you to do, what I want to invite you to do is start getting this in where you feel like it's safe to be happy and healthy. You feel like it's safe to be happy and healthy. Because if I try to push your energy, like imagine if I said, I don't feel like it's safe to be happy and And then somebody tries to push me into being happy and healthy.

What happens? It just go backwards. Bingo. It backfires. It backfires. Okay. So I don't want to push you to happy and healthy. I want you to program that it's safe to be happy and healthy. Does that make sense? Yes. Great. I love your self awareness. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So it's safe to be happy and healthy.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her self honesty. I love her self awareness. Just beautiful. And also, if you stop and think about it for a moment, taking in the feeling that it's safe to be healthy or safe to be happy may sound very counterintuitive, especially if you're somebody who is newer to mind programming, you may think, what?

You know, when you stop and think about it, she wouldn't be here. If she didn't want to be healthy, if she didn't want to be happy, she wouldn't be here. And so consciously, obviously, she wants to be healthy and happy. And yet, we can have subconscious fears that don't even make sense. And that happens everywhere in life.

I mean, there are people who want to be loved more than anything, and yet simultaneously are terrified of love. And you say, wait a second, they want to be loved and yet they're terrified. Yeah. They're afraid of getting their feelings hurt. And so it's so counterintuitive, which is again, why I always use the example of the cutter, you know, it's an unfortunate, unfortunate example, but you can see from that just how much the mind doesn't make logical sense.

You know, somebody. To cut themselves, to feel relief or euphoria. It doesn't make logical sense and yet it can get linked up. And so all of the time people will even have feelings of wanting to have success where they want to succeed at something. And then they feel like people won't like me if I do, or it's not safe to succeed, or, you know, all of these subconscious programming, these programming, it's, it's.

Mixed up in the subconscious mind. Now, the other thing I want to highlight is also this, is that as you'll notice coming up, as we dive deeper into her programming, you'll notice there's other subconscious factors like her dad from childhood. And there's other things that are programming her subconscious mind that's deeper than just the pattern of.

Wanting to fix others. Wanting to help others. Because, you know, some people wrote in after part one and they said, oh, well, it's, you know, she's trying to fix others. And we said, and, and of course I said, yep, that, absolutely, absolutely. And it always goes deeper than that. And so it's not just a feeling of wanting to fix others and then having it backfire.

But there's a deeper pattern. And so that's the part that most people overlook. And so a lot of times they're trying to change this behavior of their own, and they don't realize. It goes deeper. And so that, of course, is where we're going with our beautiful volunteer, Cheryl. Here we go.

It's safe to be happy and that it's not overbearing. And then there's that antagonist feeling that I see. It's like if you wanted her to play with you or want it, like there was, it's like you used happiness kind of as a, to try to change others or antagonize them to want to play with you, even if they weren't in that state.

You see that, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And so, so being willing to change that, that you can be absolutely happy and also respect where anybody else is without needing to change them. They can just be exactly how they are until they want to change. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. So give me one second.

Bingo. Bingo. So if you embodied these changes, how big of a change would it be in your life? Um, it already feels like a big change. Like I feel it. I feel different. Um, I don't know how to explain the difference, but I feel different right here inside of my body. Beautiful. Beautiful. Bingo. And give me one second.

Fantastic. Bingo. Bingo. If I ask your body right now if it wants to heal, 0 to 10, it says about a little bit. It says, yes, it says about a 12. Okay. But again, programming that in and feeling that. So like right now, as we're talking, it's feeling safe to heal, safe to get better. And then you want to put it into practice and really feel that way and embody that change.

Does that make sense? Beautiful. Yes. Bingo. Give me one second. Bingo. Okay. Um, I feel complete. Okay. So, because I don't want to push your energy. I want you to embrace this and embody that change. Does that make sense? Yes. Beautiful. Can you tell, um, when I lost my sense of smell? Was that when she got mad at me about six years ago?

Um, could you? Give me one second. Give me one second. Bingo. Okay. So, the 1st thing I asked, which was interesting, because I don't want to overwhelm you with information. Um, so the 1st thing I was checking is if it was too much to add and universe said, yes, we can, we can go there. We can add in a bit more because it's another piece of the equation.

Okay. So, um, it's, it's another piece. And what that is, is this. Um,

bingo. Can you see the part of you that wants to change others and make them change, um, and control them? Can you see that? Yeah. Like if I ask you 0 to 10, how much you're always trying to fix your sister, what would you say? Oh, I can't say it. 0 to 10. Uh, I, yeah. Yes. So the thing of it is Is that you don't want notice for a moment, bingo.

So you don't want to force people to change. You don't want to force to fix people. Okay. And so bingo, even in this connection with you right here, where you're wanting it, you're saying, Hey, I want to fix this. Notice how I said, even before I went into the nose piece, I said, let me just ask and make sure it's not too much all at once.

Right? And I said, Oh, okay. Universe says it's, it's like, I'm checking your energy to make sure I'm not overloading you with too much all at once. Right? So notice I'm not pressuring to fix you. Does that make sense? Yes. So now, of course, I do push people at times because sometimes if somebody's paralyzed by fear, then I want to push them to change to see in a different way or whatnot.

So it depends on if somebody is really, really, really stuck. Then I need, then I'll push, but you're not stuck in a way where you don't see. You see, you have great awareness. So you're seeing with clarity, what you need to do. And now it's about embodying the transformation. So. I need to keep my nose out of it.

Well said. So where have you been putting your nose? I tend to over help . Mm-Hmm. . Okay. In which case then your sister says what? That you're overbearing. Yeah. So notice what it would feel like to not try to over help, but to just let her be her. Just let people be themselves. Right. Right. It's kind of like this.

If I go somewhere, even if I see somebody who's sick, who could be very sick, I don't go up to them and say, oh, but let me help you. No, I could know that somebody's sick. And if they're supposed to ask me, if they, I, I, I'm not going to be intrusive in anybody's life until they want to make the change and then I'm happy to help, but other than that, it's not help.

It's not nobody gotcha. You know what I mean? Yes. So I'm going to ask you to breathe,

and I love your self awareness, so I'm going to ask you to acknowledge your self awareness, and acknowledge the part of you, like notice the part of you, by the way, that, that kind of liked to, I guess, pester your sister, be the antagonist. Yes. Okay. So the problem is, is that that part of you has shown up in all of these different ways and it's not, happiness is not the problem.

You can be so happy. We just have to respect that each person can be their own person until, and if, and, and just letting everybody be who they want to be, how they want to be, and not trying to control them or change them unless they want to change. Does that make sense? Right. Yes. Okay. Great, great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

So out of curiosity, so it's kind of like this. Let's say that you heal yourself a hundred percent. How much would you then want to force and control others with health issues? What would you say? Great. Zero. Right? Instead, as you might say, Oh, here, here's a gift. Here's a book or whatnot, but you wouldn't want like notice.

Even when I say if I go somewhere and I see somebody who's ill, I don't, I don't force myself on them. Not at all.

Okay. That makes sense. Yes. I don't. Okay. And so, if they're ready, if they're in a place where they're ready, then they'll ask. Right? Right. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, could you really make that change? Yes, I can. 100%? 150 percent I can. Yes. I'm going to. Beautiful.

Give me one second. There's another person. It doesn't feel like your sister, but there's somebody else that feels like you have your nose in their business. Do you know who that is?

Um, well, a friend of mine that we talk a lot about our health, yeah, my close friend. Okay. Uh, bingo. Can you give me her initial? Yes. Bingo.

That has to do with the nose also. So notice how much, even in like her life and relationships, stuff like that, there's a lot of your nose in her stuff. Can you see that? Oh, yeah, mm hmm. So that's the other piece that you'll want to know. So can you, can you see, um, how maybe opinionated you've been in her stuff?

Can you see that? Yeah. I'm, I offer too much, uh, opinions. So yeah. Okay. Too much advice. Okay. So, bingo. And then maybe in my daughters too, they like to, um,

my mom was always good at listening, but not trying to be over encouraging. And they don't like it when I'm too, uh, over, I don't know how to put it. Okay. So let me say it in another way. Like I'm always saying, looking on the bright side and they don't always love that. Okay. Okay.

And notice for a moment, bingo.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love her heart. I love her heart. I love her awareness. And also, you know, it's so tricky when we work with the mind because there's invisible patterns everywhere. And what happens is it's like. A pattern that is like a right hand and a left hand go together, you know, two opposites, if you will, when it comes to patterns, you know, for example, somebody who feels criticized might then attract somebody who is very critical.

And so those patterns go, Very well together, unfortunately. But what can happen when it comes to patterns like this, when you try to fix somebody who isn't wanting to be fixed, what can happen, like she said, she tries to look on the bright side of things and people don't always want to, what can happen is a person may have a pattern of wanting sympathy.

or feeling a pride in hardships, right? They're saying, I'm having this hardship, or a person may have a pattern of feeling like nobody ever hears me. Nobody ever understands me. And so they have that pattern themselves. And then as soon as they say something, we say, Oh, we'll just look on the bright side of this.

And they'd be like, no, but I'm not understood. So what happens is if a person is not in a place where they're saying, okay, I am working on self and they're just trying to have a conversation. When you try to fix them in the middle of that, a lot of times it clashes with the very patterns they have. And so it makes relationships or connecting very hard.

And I, I have to tell you, it's not just our beautiful volunteer. I have seen people who have, let's say, for example, I've seen people who are fixers. They try to fix everybody. And one beautiful, beautiful woman I worked with, she had a Very, uh, extreme illness, if you will. And one of her patterns and her, her illness, what one feeling that she had was a feeling of feeling very unloved.

Like her children didn't love her. Her ex didn't love her. She just felt completely unloved. And she was always trying to fix everybody. She was like, her, her sons were in their fifties and she was like, but let you fix this and then fix it. So nobody wanted her around. And she didn't even. It never even dawned on her that that was the issue, but nobody would call her.

Everybody avoided her. If they called her, it was really brief. They just avoided her. She had no idea. And so when I talked to her, I said, can you see the part of you that's always trying to fix? Damage. She was like, well, yeah, but I'm just trying to help. And I said, okay, switch that around. If you were 50 years old, 40 years old, 30 years old, and your mother was always trying to fix you, what would that look like?

And she was like, wow. She was like, I, I wouldn't want her around. And it, it was like the light bulb went on. Now, of course, in this situation and in every situation. There's a deeper, deeper programming. So you'll notice there's something specific that was happening in her childhood, so her mind doesn't see it in the same way.

So we're going to go there. But my point is, is just that this is so common and people will feel a sense of rejection and hurt. And left out and unloved. And what happens is a lot of times people feel like, well, I'm the good person. I'm trying to help. I'm trying to do everything great. And people just don't love me or they're, you know, and so they'll feel that way.

And I have seen people have very deep wounds from this very pattern. Just like our beautiful volunteer where she has great intentions. I mean, you can see her heart. She's just, she's beautiful. And also. Again, it goes deeper into the consciousness. And, and so there's, there's a, there's a deeper pattern, but if we look at it for a moment, it's like, you know, if you find yourself doing that, where you're saying, I'm trying to get somebody to look on the bright side of things, and they just won't remember, other people have patterns too, of feeling, of feeling.

Unheard of, or, or if they, if somebody is really feeling like they get love from sympathy and then they have a situation and you say, Oh, look on the bright side, you know, and I'm not saying that you want to give them a bunch of sympathy. I'm just saying that everybody has their patterns. So then what happens is you might say, well, just look on the bright side.

And then they say, go away. And then you feel like you could see patterns then clash. Which is exactly this, what's manifesting and also that this, again, the patterns start in childhood. So let's, let's dive into the next level. But I just really wanted to point that out just because I see it so often where people are trying so hard to fix each other, like they'll try so hard to fix others to a point where they're pushing people away, but in their mind they tell themselves, well, I'm the good person.

And then they feel that way. And the consciousness is that way. And what I mean is. They perceive it that way and they feel that way very, very strong, but it becomes intrusive. And one way to think about it is like this, is imagine if you invited a friend over to your house and your friend came over to your house and they said, Oh, by the way, just so you know, you have a, you have a spot over there.

Oh, by the way, I noticed there was a spot. Should I fix this spot on your baseboard? Like on there's, You'd be like, well, wait a second here. Like I invited you to connect, not to pick me apart or pick my house apart. And that's what happens is people will try to fix each other and instead just being in a place of enjoying company and having love, connection, community, camaraderie, you know, just um, finding positive ways to connect.

So just food for thought on that. But let's dive back in because there are still underlying patterns, which keep her from really doing that in her life. So that's where we're going as we dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Cheryl. Here we go.

Again, you don't want to push in. If they, if they, Did they ask for your advice? Um, I'm better now about not giving it unless I'm asked, because they've gotten upset with me. So notice for a moment, this is the problem though, is you've linked it up to saying people don't like if I'm happy. Okay. And that's the problem.

That's, it's not the truth. It's that it's been pushing it on others. Does that make sense? So even notice in my own life that this is what I do, and I'm very good at what I do. And if I see somebody who's ill or having a hard time, I do not push myself upon them at all. I do not offer unsolicited advice at all.

It's not my job to, it's not, it's intrusive to do this. It's tiring, but it's not. It's not respectful even. Yeah, but it is tiring because they're not in a place to listen to it. Yeah. So what I might at most. Typically do if somebody, let's say they don't know, and I really feel like they should know, like they would want help in that moment, then what I might at most say is something like, you know, I healed myself from this injury and.

Uh, if you ever needs, if you ever want to know how I did that, I'd be happy to share some insights and whatnot. You could, you know, and help you to understand how to do it. Or, hey, I have this book, you may want to check it out. He, like, I would say something, you know, you know, you may want to check it out if you're ready, if you know, or whatnot, like, or, you know, a lot of times people may know who I am who might then they'll ask.

And so, if somebody knows 1, then they'll. You know, they might ask and then I'll say, hey, you know, here's how you could do it, but I'm not intrusive. Does that make sense? So I'm not pushing my things. Instead, um, bingo. So, so, so the opinion, so that's what it has to do with this is, uh, putting your nose in, in giving too much of an opinion when people aren't necessarily asking for it.

Does that make sense? Beautiful. Yes. Yes. Bingo. All right. So give me one second. Yes. Bingo. Uh, the nose. Bingo. Now I feel like you've got the nose. Bingo. Okay. Beautiful. Beautiful. Give me one second. That again, what it's saying is this, because kind of like this, if I told you that I have a behavior of being the antagonist where I'm like, I'm happy and I'm in tech and I have a pattern of being the antagonist.

Yeah. Okay. And that's who I've been. To change that becomes re patterning, right? Right. So, it's learning a new way to be in things. So, in other words, at this point, at sometimes, I might push somebody. I might push a bit to change more. And so, in your case, you get it. You understand it. You're willing to change.

Like, you're willing to change. So, I don't even need to push it all. Instead, what now is needed is change. Execution is reprogramming, is learning that new way to be because I feel like you're willing, you see it, you have the self awareness, and now it becomes repatterning your patterns to embrace the new way of being.

Does that make sense? Right. So if I slip up, then I can say, delete, delete, redo. And try to renew it. Exactly. And that's the best way to, is that the best way to go about reprogramming that? There's, there's multiple ways that I'll have people do it. Yeah. And getting clear on your new reprogramming and how you want to feel and also rewiring the mind.

So you're feeling like you're getting attention and connection in positive ways. Okay. So you feel that because part of the thing is the way that you've been trying to get attention is being by the antagonist. Right? Yes. Yes. My, my dad nurtured that between me and my sister. He, he egged it on. He would try to get me to make her mad.

He loved it. He loved it. He loved it. Yeah. Okay. Right. So the thing of it is the antagonist, you're so used to being that. And so remember when I said that changing and making sure that you're getting love in positive ways. Is going to be key for making this transition. So, in other words, if I told you my primary way of getting intent attention has been antagonist and making her mad and antagonist and then telling myself people don't like me to be happy or let's say it another way.

If I feel like my primary way of of getting food. It's all been junk food, and that's all I know how to do is eat junk food, eat junk food, eat junk food. That's all I know how to do, and I completely take away the junk food, but I don't know how to get new healthy food. What happens? You starve. I starve.

Yeah. So part of what I need to do is go, okay, well, let me bring in healthy new foods and healthy new foods, and let me start getting those. And then let me also get rid of the junk food. So now, does that make sense? That makes sense. So that's why if you think about the process of gift, get your new vision, identify you, you have to move towards the positive first.

So again, being in that state of saying, okay, like you're connecting with her, how do you move it towards the positive? So being willing to change and feel that connection in a positive way. Does that make sense? Yes. Beautiful, beautiful. Bingo. Great. Can you make these changes? Yes, I definitely can. Yeah, you definitely can, can't you?

Definitely can. Absolutely. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. By the way, if I told you that I had a pattern of wanting to be an antagonist, and be an antagonist, How much do you think, or, or, you know, antagonized with happiness and all of that, how much do you think I would also experience a feeling of rejection and hurt?

A hundred percent. Mm hmm. Yeah. So you, you hear me use the example all the time, if a cutter cuts themselves to feel relief or euphoria from cutting themselves, how wounded are they going to be if that's the only way that they can feel relief or euphoria or safety or control, they're going to have a lot of cuts.

And so if your way of trying to get attention and connection is by being antagonist and, and, and like a, you know, trying to pester somebody with it or whatnot, then it's going to feel also wounding at the same time. Does that make sense? Yes. Can I tell you how much I just absolutely love and respect your self honesty and your self awareness?

I have so much excitement for you to change these patterns because they're painful. And I have so much respect for your self awareness and self honesty. It's just really, really, really beautiful. You're a beautiful being. Absolutely. You're just beautiful. You're just beautiful. I'm so excited for you to change these patterns.

I am too. I'm so excited. And I would have never thought this was what had to do with my goiter or my Graves disease. And because I've had, you know, A lot of trauma in my past and stuff that I don't even want to call it that, but it's so interesting to hear what it really is, because I love not having to drag all that other up to the great thing is, is cleaning things.

And it's not all about dragging all the things up. But the great thing is, is. Is is changing that and needing and so it's beautiful and one way to think about it also with the goiter is imagine for a moment. If I told you I'm trying really hard to bring in happiness, happiness, happiness, I'm trying to swallow happiness.

And bring it in and bring it in and bring it in. And then by the way, simultaneously, I'm feeling like it's not safe. It's not safe. It's not safe. It's not safe. What does it do? Maybe it's building up in my throat where I'm blocking what I'm trying to bring in because I feel like it's not safe to take in all the happiness and be happy and all.

And so it's, it's like, it's filling up in your throat, trying to take in the happiness and all that. Does that make sense? Exactly what it feels like. Yeah, exactly. Okay, and then so the nose, putting your nose a bit in other people's business, right? Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Beautiful.

That makes a lot of sense. Beautiful. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you. Again, I'm excited. so much. You are absolutely so, so welcome. And so, again, moving it forward. So, all of these things. Moving them forward and saying, okay, I'm going to connect in a positive way. I don't need sickness. I'm going to connect in happiness and feel happiness, not in an antagonistic way, but it's safe to be happy.

It's safe to be happy. So moving it forward. So you show your mind it's safe to be happy and not using happiness to be antagonistic. And so you're moving it forward in a safe way. Beautiful. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much. You're absolutely so, so welcome. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you. Thank you.

I appreciate you so much.

All right. So let's go ahead and unpack this. And you know, first and foremost, I love her. She's just, she's beautiful inside and out. Just great self awareness, great self honesty, great willingness to change, to see her stuff and to be willing to change. She's just. A beautiful, beautiful being. And when we stop and think about it for a moment, so if you think about it.

She had this pattern from a young age of being the antagonist, you know, kind of poking at her sister and that's how she got her dad's love and attention and connection. And so what you'll want to know from this is number one, that this started at such a young age for her that it hasn't been like a conscious choice.

It's been unconscious patterns running her life. And so what happens is this, is this kind of like, if, if somebody expects to fail, like they expect to fail, expect to fail, what ends up happening is they take some move unconsciously that leads them towards failure. Now, of course, at times they might succeed at things, but in general, they'll tend to end up going in that direction.

You know, these patterns show up. So if somebody expects. That people are going to be upset because of my happiness. People won't like me because of happiness, which she learned at a very young age. then there'll be some type of subconscious thing that she does that she's likely not even aware of that she's doing in her behavior to then, unfortunately, perpetuate the pattern.

So then it starts to feel like, oh, it's unsafe to be happy. I was just being happy and then somebody So that problem perpetuates. Now, the other thing is, is this, is that so many people have this pattern of, Oh, I have to be the caregiver. And this is, a lot of times what happens is this, many times when somebody is trying to fix another person, and it's part of what they're doing in their social life.

If their social life is, I need to fix this person. I need to fix this person. A lot of times what happens is either they feel like they're broken on the inside themselves, or. They're doing it for their own self value. They feel not good enough, or they feel like, uh, this is how I get love is to just fix people instead of them feeling like they actually love themselves and they are enough and, and, or so many different patterns.

I mean, we can see a different pattern with Cheryl here. With her father. And so sometimes a person may just have that in their identity. They feel like their mother was a caregiver and that's who they should be and who they need to be. And so there's a self sacrifice pattern. And so my point being is that even with somebody who's coming in saying, I need to fix, fix, fix, fix, fix other people.

There's some type of pattern on the inside that, that is that if they're doing it in an unhealthy way, they're doing it for the feeling of love, like they're, you know, intrusive in it, there's some type of something and it can ruin friendships. It can ruin relationships, children's marriages, all of those things.

And so from this, my hope that your takeaway is this, is that even when we, if you feel like happiness is an issue. You know, change your expectation and really look at what patterns might be underlying that, that would cause that. Meaning, if somebody feels like, Oh, well, if I'm happy, people aren't going to like me.

People are going to be upset. Then that's rewiring that you definitely want to change. That is unhealthy mind programming. which can be connected to, of course, health issues. And so that's what I want you to look at is the awareness of just how counterintuitive the subconscious mind is, but also the awareness that even with this situation, we can look at this beautiful woman and we can see her patterns from the outside in.

But when you think about it from the inside out. It becomes a consciousness. It's, it's so a consciousness of willing to change the consciousness of willing to see patterns that are running in the subconscious mind. And so, again, I have so much respect for her. What a beautiful, beautiful being. I love that.

Now, another insight that I want to invite you to take is this was when I mentioned the food analogy that we have to be able to move something forward. Now imagine for a moment. If she feels like the way she gets love and attention is antagonizing, by antagonizing and whatnot, then she's got to also find a healthy way to do it.

So we'd use the example of health food, you know, um, or example, some people you, you know, I mentioned previously about getting sympathy and love. Now, imagine if somebody has a pattern of sympathy to get love and sympathy to get love and sympathy to get love. Well, the problem is, is that they say, well, I'm going to give up the sympathy, but they don't find a replacement for love and connection, then they're going to have a hard time really changing.

Or even if somebody has, you know, illness, in this case, she feels like it's keeping her safe and getting her connection with her sister. So if I said, Oh, just give it up. Well, she doesn't have a way to connect. So as much as she wants to, obviously she's here as much as she wants to. Reprogramming the mind to be able to do in a different way is so important.

And so all the time, you'll hear me emphasize that. We need to move a vision forward first. We need to find a way to meet the needs, to program and, and really fulfill needs. So in this case, it would be love and connection. And so the more that we can fulfill our needs in a vision moving forward, the more that we can let go of the negative.

And so it is a combination. And so that's what I want to invite you to look at from this is just the awareness that patterns can be so counterintuitive. And also, if this is a pattern in your life, I want to invite you to maybe explore this and look at how you could change this. to create even more love and connection and positivity in your own life.

All right. So that said, it has been such a pleasure connecting with you today. As always, I want to ask you to please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and empowered and loved and loving and self aware that Every single person is in our world.

The better this world is for all of us. You know, when, when each person understands their mind, that it's, it, it just gets better and better and better. So, and can live in a place of love and connection and happiness. And, and so I love that. And I wish that for you. So I wish you a most wonderful, happy, healthy, incredible rest of your day.

And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode, and we'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is, For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.