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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and body. Your emotions and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello, and welcome to this week's quick IQ episode, where we talk about insights and questions. And today We're going to talk about one of each. And before we do, I also want to take a moment to just say that I hope that you are having wonderful holidays, that whatever you celebrate, whether it's Hanukkah or Christmas or both and New Year's coming up and, you know, or just every day, you know, whatever it is around this time of year, it's just so beautiful.

There's so much. love and connection. And I hope that you are feeling some love around you. And that's part of what we're going to talk about today. So on the last couple episodes, we've been talking about, you know, the top five reasons that happiness can feel really hard. And we talked about that on last week's IQ episode, and we're going to break that down a bit more just so we're making it an easy to do steps to help you to Really lift your energy and start making a shift.

And so even on last week's episode when we were working with our beautiful volunteer Bridget, I had also broken down some additional things that you could do to help bring in that positive energy. You know, bringing in that feeling of feeling excited about life. So we were breaking that down as well a bit more.

Into simple to do steps and so today I wanted to expand on that a bit more and really quickly before we do You know people always ask me around the holidays if I have dessert, which is a really sweet question It comes up every year. And so the answer this year is yes, and Typically, I'm not so big on sweets.

I mean prior to my injury I was raised that, you know, if you didn't like chocolate, then something was wrong with you. And so that was actually my upbringing. But as I started changing my mindset and my energy and stress and all different types of things in my subconscious mind, my body just typically craves eating healthier food.

So I don't typically eat a lot of sweets, but I did have some over the holidays, mostly gluten free and dairy free and all those things, but not all of it. You know, as far as my diet goes, I do keep a pretty healthy diet, but it is not perfect, and I don't stress over it, because as you've been able to see from past episodes, you know, mindset and stress is so much more impactful.

Then people realize, you know, when you really stop and think about the awareness that, you know, people can shift out of pain just by shifting their mindset. And it can happen in real time. I mean, it's just truly incredible. And so I definitely don't stress over my diet. I just have my mindset. Set in a way that makes me want to eat healthy and not have a lot of stress and negativity going on which Supports that and makes it so much easier.

So anyways point being yes, I did have some sweets and Part of the reason that I mentioned it is because all of the time People will have sweets over the holidays and then they feel guilty for it They feel bad about it afterwards and of course You You don't want to do that. So if you are in that space, make sure to let it go.

You know, even if you think about the last IQ episode last week, where we talked about one of the factors that can make it hard to really feel happy is punishment patterns. You know, those NPPs where you're feeling guilt or bad or shame. And so if you're feeling any of those feelings towards your holiday diet, make sure to let it go because you definitely don't want to be feeling those feelings.

And you don't want to go into this new year feeling all of those feelings of feeling bad or guilty or shame for it or any of that stuff. So make sure to let that go. And we are going to talk a bit more about those patterns and things like that coming up. On the next IQ episode, but for now, the piece that I wanna unpack even more from that IQ episode number 36, where we talked about those top five reasons that it can feel hard to be happy.

The thing that I wanna break down in this episode is about trauma bonding. So I mentioned trauma bonding now. Really quickly, that phrase, trauma bonding, traditionally it means to bond with a person who has physically or emotionally abused you. But, the expanded definition or reference for that phrase has been more so about, you know, bonding with others who have similar type of traumas or similar types of situations.

And so for that reason, to make sure to keep this clear, instead of calling it trauma bonding, the other word that I created for it is actually what I call trauma nurturing. And so that helps it kind of distinguish the difference. And I like this phrasing better of trauma nurturing, because really, That's what happens and that's what can get linked up is that let's say somebody has a problem or an issue where they had an argument and What can happen is somebody can say oh, I'm so sorry you experienced that or you know You're right and they can validate those feelings or somebody can say, you know, oh I had the same situation You know, I had this happen too, and this happened too.

Now, what happens is on a deeper level in the subconscious mind, this can create a feeling of nurturing the trauma. In which case, it can actually make the subconscious mind want to manifest even more trauma, unfortunately, which can keep you from feeling happy. So, it can either actually manifest more trauma, Or it can just make your brain only want to focus on the trauma and the reason this happens is because Ultimately we as human beings we need love.

We need connection You know, you've probably heard before or heard me say on past episodes, you know If an infant doesn't get enough love they can actually die or a senior Who unfortunately loses their spouse can have a much higher rate of death than following their loss, you know, and when you stop and think about it, that's because we as human beings, we need love.

We need human connection, you know, and you've probably heard me say on past episodes, we need love just like a plant needs the sun. So, you know, if you think about a plant, a plant will grow towards the sun. If you've ever seen that before, where a plant it's needing more sun will grow in that direction, or a tree will.

You know, and if you stop and think about the sun, the sun is energy, you know, solar energy. And we as human beings, we need love. And so we will grow in the direction of love, whatever that is for us. So much like that tree grows towards the sun, we will grow towards where that bonding is. And so unfortunately what can happen is that if people feel like a lot of their bonding and their connection.

It comes from things like trauma, so they have that trauma nurturing at a deeper level than other people. at the subconscious level, their mind and their energy will want to manifest even more of that. And again, it could manifest physical experiences or it can make the brain at a subconscious level just want to continue to replay the same trauma over and over again.

And either way though, it can keep you from feeling happy. And so what you'll want to notice is that if you are mentioning, you know, negative things that you're very, very careful. And even discontinue doing that to help you to really transform your life and your happiness. Now, I want to break this down even more because if you think about it for a moment, what you'll notice, even when I share my story, you'll hear me say things like, I was a train wreck.

Or, you know, even if you think about the last episode, I was talking about working on feeling like I loved life. And in that moment, I even talked about it at the end of the episode, that I did not love life. But what you'll want to notice when I say that, is how I'm feeling and even how I'm saying it. You know, if you think about it a lot of times, I go, ah, it was a train wreck.

And how I'm saying it is in a way that, saying that, you don't want to be that. You know, it's like, what not to do. But, If I was saying it in a way where I wanted somebody to feel sorry for me, where I was saying, you know, I was a train wreck, and, or I was hurt, or I was going through this bad time, or so and so did this to me, if I wanted nurture from it, if I wanted you to feel sorry for me, or tell me it was okay, or something like that, then it would create a feeling of nurture.

in my subconscious mind and I wouldn't want to do that because that could create a lot of problems. So if I was wanting sympathy or even if I was trying to say something like I had the worst injury ever, then that could make my mind want to create more injury and more problems. Also, you know, if you've heard people before where somebody shares something that's negative, they go, Oh my God, this happened to me.

And somebody else says, Oh, well you think that's bad, well let me tell you about my day. And so if you think about it, what they're doing in that moment is they are bonding but they're also quote unquote winning. so to speak, at having the worst situation, which the subconscious mind likes to win. And so you'll always notice me say things when I'm talking about my story.

I was a train wreck and I'm not wanting sympathy or anybody to feel bad. I'm saying this is what you don't want to do. This is where I was, you know, and it's not a great thing. I don't want sympathy for it. I don't want anybody to feel bad. bad for it. And I also don't want to say it was the worst situation in the world.

I mean, it's not. There are plenty of people who are paralyzed or terminal or things like that. And I was neither. And I've worked with plenty of those people too, who have helped change around their situations. And so, you know, there's always somebody's situation that is worse, unfortunately, but you just don't want to take that in.

either, that you have the worst situation. And so point being bringing this all together is that you want to be very careful with your mind and the way that you connect with people. And this timing is divine because a lot of people have gotten together for the holidays and that means it can go either way.

Meaning that there is a lot of opportunity right now to connect in the positive way. And, there's also a lot of opportunity, quote unquote, to connect in the negative, where people can say, oh, my family did this, or my family did that, or, you know, they did this to me, or, there's so many different things that can come up.

And, As we talked about on the last episode, even that victim energy can keep you from taking your life to the next level and breaking through that glass ceiling to get there. You know, whatever it is that you're wanting to do with your life to take it to the next level. So not only can it keep you from achieving your goals and living your best life, but it can also keep you from really feeling happy and feeling like you're If you're connecting in the wrong way, it can really make your mind subconsciously want to dwell and stay stuck in the negative and even manifest more of it.

So you just want to be very aware and this episode is divine timing right now because If you are noticing in your life that you have had a tendency to connect over the negative and to really create that trauma nurture type of connection, now is a perfect time to change it because for many people, the holidays can create a positive, quote unquote, excuse to To connect with people.

I mean, for example, it's easy to be able to reach out to somebody you haven't talked to in a while and wish them a happy new year and even ask them, you know, what great things they want to happen in this year, or even share with them some positive things that you want. And even kind of have that as a conversation starter of, you know, focusing on the positive this year.

And so just with the holidays, it just provides a lot of openings to be able to connect. In positive ways, so I love that and the more you start embodying that, the more your subconscious mind will want to create that shift towards creating even more positivity and happiness in your life. And so on that note, the quick, simple exercise from this episode would be to notice if you are doing this in your life, you know, if you're finding a place where you are getting trauma, nurture type feelings, and See what you can do to begin transforming it, to begin speaking and connecting only in that positive way to begin creating that shift.

Now on next week's IQ episode we're going to take this a step further and work on an additional key component in the subconscious mind that can keep you from truly feeling happy. So both of these things are really key for making that transformation. So that's where we're going and On this next upcoming episode this week, we're going to continue our episode with Bridget, who is already an award winning actress, and we're talking about breaking through your ceiling, taking your life to the next level, and I have to say, the epiphanies that come through on the next episode We'll stretch your mind a bit because it's definitely going to be a different angle than you have thought of because traditionally, people will think that, you know, if you have positive emotions, then it's going to positively impact your life, but as you will see in the next episode, that's not the case.

It takes a deeper level of understanding, which is really powerful and eye opening to And it can help you take yourself, your health, your life to the next level. So I just love it. A lot of different insights coming to the surface and it's divine timing for, you know, breaking through your next level of success or even happiness, joy, healing.

All of that, and so, that's where we're going, and as always, please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode, you know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, or even somebody that maybe you've been subconsciously trauma nurturing with, you know, because a lot of people don't realize That these subconscious emotions can impact their energy.

And so, maybe you shared this episode with them so they have this awareness too. Because, of course, the more happy and healthy and empowered that every person is in our world, the better this world is for all of us. So, I love that. And I'm sending positive vibes your way. Happy holidays, happy, beautiful day.

And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. I wish you an incredible rest of your day.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about, or those, you know, who really need it as more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point. And the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone.

What we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life, if you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible.

And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.