Click here to listen to episode 179

Please note: These are computer generated transcripts of the Heal Yourself, Change Your Life Podcast Episodes. If you have any questions or need assistance, please reach out to us at support@brandygillmore.com

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health yourself and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love to talk. Today's episode. And before we dive in, I do want to say happy, beautiful, wonderful woman's day, and I just love this episode for today.

And I love women's day and of course celebrating everybody, but a day to celebrate women is just a wonderful, beautiful thing. You know, when we stop and look at the contribution and the heart and the love and, The role that women have traditionally played, and I know that our roles in life are all so different and expansive, but just as mothers and human beings and being vulnerable and also being strong and just the so many beautiful layers to being a woman in this beautiful world.

And I love that. And I just love Today's episode is just perfect and divine timing. It's a beautiful mix. You know, on today's episode, we're working with a beautiful volunteer, Lily, and the insights that come up are just perfect and powerful. You know, one has to do with not reinforcing patterns because all too often.

People are trying to get rid of a pattern and they're also simultaneously reinforcing it at the same time and don't even realize it. And so that's one of the insights that you're going to want to take away from today's episode. And another one, another one has to do with being critical of the self and really shifting that and some sneaky subconscious programming that can keep that pattern stuck.

So that's another thing. Also, kids, And really getting ahead and making some changes when it comes to kids, because all too often people are feeling stuck and feeling not good enough when it comes to relationships and connections. So that's another piece as well, you know, really getting out of that feeling.

And then lastly, also that feeling of wanting to fix another person and how it can actually hold you back and the subconscious things that you want to look at and transform and some other really, really powerful insights of being critical of self. I mean, just so many, again, a really wonderful episode.

For today, just divine timing in so many different ways and a most wonderful, beautiful volunteer, Lily. And so on that note, let's go ahead and dive in. And again, we have our most beautiful, wonderful volunteer, Lily. And by the way, if you recall, I actually started her session last week. So we had one session and it was about an hour in length.

And of course, you know, by the time I put insights in, that would make the episode really long. So instead of doing just one long episode, I broke it up into chunks, which can help you to really be able to digest and take in even more key insights. And so that's where we're going today is we're stepping back in with Lily.

And on the last episode, you may recall, we were talking about kindness, being so kind Transcribed to self and loving to self and the power of positivity and really getting it in and how it can shape and shift your relationship with self, but also relationships around you. And so that's where we left off and this was having to do with her thumb pain and her fingers being stuck and unable to move.

So that's what we were working on with her health. And these are the pieces that are coming up with it, the energy, the emotions that are connected to it. And so, so that said, picking up where we left off with self kindness, being kind to self and not beating self up. So that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with Beautiful Lily.

Here we go. By

the way, most people probably look back at their past and think, oh, I did everything perfect. No, probably not. Have you ever heard before the phrase Hindsight is 20 20. Yes. What does that phrase mean to you? It means it's really easy, perfectly easy to see what went wrong after the fact. Okay. And you're the one that came up with that.

Nope. You're right. Everybody says it. It's a thing. So if I ask you to look back and you notice what you could have done better, right? And if I ask you to notice what are five things you did great? Well, I loved them a lot. I had a lot of fun with them. Um, we got through it. They all survived. Great. Great. So you loved them.

They all survived. Yeah. You had a lot of fun and you got through it. Yeah. Okay. And, uh, okay. So now how often did you beat them with a hammer? No, not once. Okay. Uh, how often did you have them in reckless places that they shouldn't be? No, I tried to protect them. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, Brandy. That's a tough one.

Okay. So go ahead. I do have guilt about staying with their dad and feel like that wasn't the best and the safest thing. Okay. So I would, this is what I would, I would definitely say, hold on to that. It's going to do you great. Good. All right. Thank you. Yep. Yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. Yep.

Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And by the way, just a quick note, if I ask you how many times you've said, I feel guilty about staying with their dad, how many times have you said that in your life? I've said it in my head millions of times. To other people? Oh, probably way too much. And how many of them reassured you, hey, it's okay? Yes.

Exactly. Yeah. So if I ask you, Oh, well, that's okay. Then I'm just following the same neural pathway that you've already got. Does that make sense? Yeah.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love her. I love her self awareness. I love her self honesty. She's just beautiful. And also what I want you to notice is this part about criticizing herself and then also getting reassurance. And so That's something that you'll want to notice in your own life if there are patterns that you're repeating because they feel good.

And that's what can happen is that somebody can feel a sense of feeling bad about something or feeling off with something. And instead of fixing it, they reinforce the pattern. And let me give you an example. And, you know, let's look at something completely left field. If we look at alcoholism for a moment.

Now, what can happen is this, is a person can feel not good enough about themselves. And then. So they'll drink alcohol in effort to feel better about themselves. And then at the end of the day, because they're drinking and not handling life grade and criticizing themselves for drinking, et cetera, et cetera, then they end up feeling worse about themselves.

And then as they feel worse about themselves, they want to drink to then feel better about themselves, et cetera, et cetera. Now, of course, everybody's different as to their emotional patterns. But my point being, um, is that a person can feel bad about themselves and like they've made a mistake and then they criticize themselves to feel better and get some reassurance, you know, no, it's not, it's not your fault.

It's okay. And then you get some reassurance and then you feel better for a moment. only to then have that feeling of then criticizing yourself. In other words, these patterns will then continue and continue. And so that's also the reason that I said, Hey, I can't take this same neural pathway. I can't respond in the same way that anybody else would, because that's not going to serve you.

And by the way, that's why you'll notice with people, a lot of times I might be silly or ridiculous or playful or even, you know, push a bit or even feel a bit like a football coach, you know, because if you wrap a problem in love, you're never going to get rid of it. And so a lot of times people want to put reassurance or love or nurture around the wound.

And unfortunately, it just keeps coming back. And that's why even as I was saying with her, how many times have you criticized yourself over this? A ton. And then she gets reassurance and then it keeps coming back because it feels good to the brain. Okay. Criticize self. Okay. Get reassurance. Okay. Criticize self.

Okay. Get reassurance. And so that is the very pattern. And by the way, If you recall from last week's episode, the pattern of criticizing herself was so strong that we just stuck with a positive for that very reason. And so my point being is that this is part of the reason that it's perpetuating is because there's also a feeling of reassurance.

with it. So I know that sometimes the mind can be a bit complicated in how it works. And so point being that you'll want to take away from this is that if you find yourself criticizing yourself, To get reassurance, you'll want to discontinue that because it becomes an endless loop. It'll just keep coming back and keep coming back, and it'll make you feel worse.

All right, so that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Lily. Here we go.

So then I would say to you, lovingly said with a push. I would say, well, go ahead and hold on to that guilt until you're ready to change that. I mean, I'd recommend changing it right away, but you know, go ahead, if you want. No, I don't want it. You should absolutely change that. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

Right. And so if I told you, Oh no, don't have that guilt, I would just be reinforcing the same pattern that's already there. I would just be partaking in the pattern with you. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And again, I'm going to push a little bit and I'm going to say, Uh, sure. Following a different way.

Sure. Go ahead and hold on to that guilt if you want. I mean, I wouldn't recommend it, but you're the power. Or you could let it go right now, if you'd like. I want to. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and take that in. And by the way, so we get our parents that we get for a reason. Would you agree with that statement?

Yes. Mm hmm. So do you think that your dad is an accident or would you say that you've had your dad for a reason because of certain patterns and whatnot? And, uh, that's the reason you got your dad. That's the reason you got your parents. And you, you had your own patterns and whatnot. Would you agree with that statement?

Yeah, I like to think that, actually. Mm hmm. Very true. Very true. And sometimes what happens is this. Is sometimes we're born with a parent who has the exact same pattern. So let's say, like, kind of like this. I've seen women who are very self critical and their mom was very self critical and it's like they learned the pattern from their mom to be very self critical or, and it's because they had it from past lives, right?

Okay. Okay. Or what happens is they might have, you know, it's like, we'll have the exact opposite pattern as a parent. So maybe somebody will be a perfectionist and somebody else will feel like, Oh God, I'm being criticized all the time. And that trigger can show up. So my point is. I want you to notice that you are the one who, who gave them their exact dad, or if you think about it, the universe kind of also had a hand in that as well.

What would you say is most true? Yeah, it's probably way bigger than just me, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. By the way, just a quick note. If the universe wanted us to see all of our patterns, and if we were meant to be perfect, The universe would deliver us here and we wouldn't need computers. We would be computers.

We wouldn't need encyclopedias. We would be encyclopedias. We'd be dressed to the nines. We'd be all perfect. We'd know everything. We'd know all the languages, blah, blah, blah. We definitely would not arrive in this world with no teeth, messed up hair, if we even have any, drooling and peeing on ourselves, right?

Yeah. Value the journey. As babies, we're absolutely so perfect and we're also learning. And at 20 years old. We're both perfect and we're also learning, right? And so we're learning subconscious patterns and, and transit, you know, it just, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and I'm going to ask you, I'm going to invite you.

Well, I'm going to say, um, go ahead and keep feeling guilty if you want. I mean, I wouldn't recommend it, but you're the power, so, uh, it's up to you to change it. I mean, I'd strongly recommend it for sure. But, uh, it's up to you. You could look at it in a different way. You could decide to feel differently, willing to change, or you could continue to look at the past, feel bad about it, blame yourself for this, that, the other, their dad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But then when they're blaming you for things, don't be surprised because you're attracting that too. Yeah, absolutely. I see that pretty clearly now. Thank you. You're absolutely so welcome. You're so welcome. I love your self awareness. You see, by the way, you said you don't have very good self awareness, and I would, I would definitely argue that with you.

I would say you have great self awareness and great self honesty. All right, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I'm going to ask you to notice what it would look like to start, even with your, with N, to start noticing even more of the greatness in him, and to even start noticing even more of the greatness in you.

I will work on that. Yes. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, you said every time you and N start speaking, it goes bad, correct? A lot of times. So, and if I ask you how long that's been happening, what would you say? Um, it's probably been since he was 13, 14 and he's 20 now. So, um, when would you like to change that?

Oh, I, I wish. Yeah, in the past I wish it was right now. Right now I wanna change that because I can't go back. There you go. I know. Yep. There. Good. I like that.

again, great self-awareness. Great. Change on that. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and by the way, if I ask you to notice zero to 10, you ready? If I ask you how much you find your mind wishing that the past was different? Yes. All the time. Exactly. A huge thing. Yep. Yes, it is. Yep. Now, remember in the very beginning where I said there's a desire to want to control every little detail.

Yeah. Okay. Yep. You see what I'm talking about now. Yeah. Like in my mind, I want to will it in a certain way. A lot of things. Mm hmm.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a really quick moment. You know, again, I just love her self awareness, I love her self honesty and how much she cares about her kids. It's so sweet. And something to think about, you know, all of the time I have wonderful, caring mothers who are caring. in this very situation who are feeling stuck or stressed or fearful about their kids and they're trying to get them motivated or to not do this or to not do that.

And one of the things that I want to share with you right here is making sure that your kids have a moving forward vision. Like something to look forward to in life is so key. Because what happens is if they have something that you love, that they love, and they really have that thing, it can help be their North, you know, it can help be something that motivates them, that keeps them on track.

So I want to invite you to think about that. If you are somebody who has kids, who's struggling in this way. And by the way, that is not to say. to control them into having something, but positively reinforce it, to be excited, to make it something that you're interested about, that you regularly talk about, that they feel good about, that you're complimenting them about, you know, where you can, you know, compliment it as much as possible.

And of course you can't control it. But just having that feeling and having a vision or something that they're interested in genuinely is so important. And the more you can help make sure that they have that, and the more that you can help to support something like that with them and share it or share some excitement about it, it becomes a beautiful experience.

So just food for thought. And by the way, making sure that you have one as well, whether you, of course you have kids or not, of course, making sure that you always have. Something to look forward to that excites you, whether it's a relationship or a trip or an accomplishment or a change in self or Whatever that is for you, but making sure to have something that you are looking forward to Genuinely and programming that in is so important.

Alright, so that said let's go ahead and dive back in with beautiful Lily, here we go

So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and what happens if you feel like the past is the past and the future You Like, if you knew, it's kind of like this, you've heard my injury story, right? Yes. So I want you to notice my past was perfect. Joking, right? Yeah. I mean, you've come so far from that. It's amazing.

Exactly. So I'm going to ask you, could the most important thing to you be your future, but where today, where you are tomorrow, the next day, and I'm going to ask you to breathe and what would happen if you knew that your life was just going to get better and better and better and more amazing and more wonderful and your relationship with your son and, and everybody, your relationship, your connection, your relationships, your self love, all of that.

was just, and life was going to get better and better and better. How much would you focus on the past? Yeah, I wouldn't be worried about it, would I? I'd be looking forward. Yep, great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And by the way, what happens if you drive a car and you're just looking at the rear view mirror the entire time?

Oh, I'm, I, I'd hit something right away. Yeah, you're not going to drive so well, right? Nope. So moving forward in life, you aren't going to do so well if you're not looking where you're going and spending the majority of your time looking there, right? Yeah. Yes. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. I'm just gonna ask you, are you, are you done punishing yourself for the past or you got a while more to go?

Or what's, what's your game plan there? I'm done. I wanna be done. Beautiful. Yeah. Who? Wait, who's the decider if you're done or not? I am. You are. Great. Yeah. So I'm ask you to breathe, and by the way, did you ever ground your kids for like 20 years before? Okay. No, never punished them for 20 years. Okay. But you would punish yourself for 20 years.

You are right. I have definitely done that. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Could you be done? Yes. I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and I'm going to ask you if you're willing to change. Yes. I want to change. Yep. I want to. Great. And if I ask you, could you be a bit more flexible with N?

Yes. I want that too. Great. I want a great relationship. Beautiful. If I ask you how good you are at seeing his point of view, what would you say? Um, I'm not good at it. I see it through my point of view, like I know better and want him to do it my way. You're right. I'm totally controlling on that. I love your self awareness.

Okay, so I'm going to ask you, uh, do you think that you should beat yourself up for like five years or 10 years for this or 20 or just like skip that part and just embrace change or? I want to embrace change. This has not been good. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. All right, great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I'm gonna ask you to take in the feeling that you're willing to change.

And by the way, if I ask you, do you trust yourself to change? No. Okay. Could you trust yourself to change? I, I want to do that. I don't trust myself very much. But could you moving, you haven't in the past trusted yourself, correct? Yes. Okay. So from now on, could you be willing to change and move forward and trust yourself to change?

Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I'm gonna ask you to move your thumb and your fingers. I want you to notice how it feels. Okay, so there is a feeling that's in your energy that's kind of like this, uh, it's kind of like, have you ever heard a parent say something like this before? Because I said so.

Yes. If I ask you how much you can find that energy in you, how much? Yeah, that is definitely how I am within. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, okay? And I want you to think about you being 20 years old, and if your mom with you was like, because I said so, how would you be towards her at 20?

Yeah, I would be rebellious. Okay. Yeah. If I ask you how much you felt like your parents understood you at 20, what would you say? No, not a lot. And uh, by the way, you know what's interesting? Do you remember, it's kind of, kind of like, if you think back to the past of like, oh my gosh, like the 90s were like devil music and then the 70s were like, like we're all going to hell in a handbasket.

How each generation feels like the next generation is just absolutely devil worshippers or going to hell in a handbasket or, can you, can you look at the site and see that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if I am, I mean, I've heard it forever too. I mean, everybody says that. Yeah. Okay. But notice every generation. It's like the next generation is like going to hell in a handbasket.

And then it's like, okay, well, that's just called rock music. That's And then when you look back on the Beatles, how horrible were the Beatles? Or this nineties? Yeah. Pretty tame, huh? I mean, I mean, devil worshiping me. . Yeah, I hear you. Okay, so if I ask you just for a moment, if you started understanding your son with a bit of a more open mind.

Yes. Not so rigid. Not so rigid. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Not so rigid. Not so rigid. Get rid of that. Yeah. So I'm going to trust for him. What? Some trust for him. What? Yes, I'm going to trust him. I'm going to. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I'm going to ask you to move your hand. Okay, so I bent it, but it's stuck, my thumb.

Okay, so it's stuck, alright. So I'm going to ask you just to relax it. And what if you don't have to punish yourself or fix him because of his dad? What if you don't have to fix him because of his dad? What if you don't? What if he's actually fine? Yeah, I like that. I'm going to tell myself that. Okay, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

What if we don't actually have to fix him at all? No, he's perfect. You want to breathe and say, I don't have to fix him? I don't. I don't have to fix him. You what? I do not. I do not have to fix him. That's not my job. Great. That's not my job.

All right, so let's go ahead and actually pause the session right here because She just said something that was extremely profound. And I just, again, I love her self awareness. I love her self honesty. It's just beautiful. And the awareness that it's not her job to fix somebody. And of course, this goes so much deeper because all of the time when people are wanting to fix somebody else, there's some type of pattern that they have.

that's there as well. For example, I have worked with mothers before who have wanted so badly to fix and fix and fix and maybe the child had a pattern of feeling criticized constantly and the mother Had a pattern of feeling as though she always needed to be needed. And so the patterns were feeding each other where she felt like she needed to be needed.

So then she was in the middle of it all. And then he felt criticized. And then, and so it was like this spiral effect. And so my point being is exactly that is the hardest part about this whole thing about changing energy and relationships and patterns is remembering that change Really does happen on the inside and even when there's something that's happening that you don't think that you have any type of pattern or connection to it's always there.

And for example, even in working with Lily, you know, there is this feeling of wanting to be good enough so bad, wanting to be perfect, wanting to be good enough, in which case she's wanting her kids to be good enough and perfect and great. And so much of that is, you know, as we talked about in the last episode, then there was also that pattern of feeling like no matter what she does, it falls short.

So then it's going to reflect in feeling that way towards her kids. Like she fell short as a mother or fell short anything as a provider or this or that or work or school, whatever it is. It shows up in different areas of life. And I want to repeat that for a moment, different areas of life, meaning that it doesn't necessarily mean it shows up in every place in life.

Meaning that some people might have patterns of feeling really successful and also simultaneously feeling not good enough. And what'll happen is they might have an amazing career. And they're very, very successful and then feel not good enough about their relationships or their weight or their fitness or their, whatever it is.

And so, so either way, point being is that you'll want to notice and reflect on that transcript. Inside yourself and that's the very reason that I want to take a moment and pause the episode right here So we will continue with the last portion of the episode next week But right now I want to invite you to look at this because all of the time when people are trying to fix somebody whether It's a spouse or a sister or a child There's always a pattern and I see it so often.

And for that reason, I want to invite you to look within, to notice what it is, and be willing to radically transform it. Because as you do, it really does help transform your relationships in so many ways. I mean, I cannot tell you how many times I have had people message in and going through, you know, the videos course, they go through the video course or classes that I'm teaching, they go, Oh my God, like, I cannot believe it.

this pattern actually changed and people will even email in and they'll say, Oh my gosh, you're not going to believe this, this and this and this happened. And then they go, I guess, well, I guess you are going to believe it because, because you said it was going to happen, but I still can't believe it. You know, it just, it's beautiful.

And so, so point being is exactly that is being willing to look within. and be honest with yourself. Again, you know, Lily's self honesty is so beautiful, but stepping into that place of empowerment in your life, of gaining even more clarity and being honest with self and being willing to radically shift the emotion and the pattern, not just in the moment, but genuinely in your life and to make sure to follow through with it.

and get it in your subconscious mind to genuinely create a real change. All right. So that said, I want to ask you to please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more empowered that every single person is in this world, the better this world is for all of us.

And so on that note, please do have the most wonderful, fabulous rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself Change. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website brandygilmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.