Brandy Gillmore: Welcome to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.
Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themself of physical pain using only their mind, and then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use. To master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health yourself and your life.
Let’s begin.
Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And there are so many things that I love about today’s episode. First and foremost, I love the awareness of the counterintuitive mind and what is going on at a deeper level.
Just because so often people are doing all of the things that they can think of. They’re, you know, doing the positive thinking and the meditation and the affirmations and the frequencies and all of these things, and I get it. And I was doing all of those things too, and it didn’t work. And that is the same with our beautiful volunteers that she’s been trying to heal herself.
And yet. She’s been stuck, and in fact, she actually was just recently diagnosed with a new illness that is quite serious. And so that’s where we’re going is really looking at what is going on at the deeper level. Because I know so often people are in that same place where they feel frustrated because they’re trying to heal, and yet.
Nothing’s working. And so this episode and this session with our beautiful volunteer really helps highlight that counterintuitive information, that counterintuitive programming that’s going on at a deeper level so you can see what’s missing and what we really want to do to be able to create those real lasting changes.
And so that is part of where we’re going. There are just a lot of really beautiful insights from today’s episode. Now, by the way, one last note before we step in, I do want to say that what you’ll notice is as I begin working with our beautiful volunteer, you’ll notice a lightness about it. And what I mean is this, is that, as I mentioned, she just recently had a diagnosis That is a pretty serious diagnosis, and my response to that.
Feels very lighthearted and even playful, like, you know, I mentioned to her, she’s, she should make better plans for next Christmas. You know, and so it might seem as though I am not taking her situation seriously because I respond in a laughing manner and tell her to, you know, plan better for next Christmas, the next holidays.
Now, what I was really doing was actually starting to shift her mind forward to next year, because right now in this situation where she’s at, she’s in the hospital, things could feel a bit concerning and fearful and scary. And so what I was actually doing is saying, okay, well next year you’ve gotta make better plans.
And so it might feel. I’m not taking the situation seriously, but instead I’m actually working with her mind in a different way to get her to start moving forward instead of staying stuck in the past. Because what you’ll also see is it’s so often people are stuck in the past and stuck on the frustrations or the hurt or the childhood trauma or the past and whatnot.
And what we really need to do is start creating a shift forward. And by the way, as she starts moving things forward in a different way, that’s when she starts noticing the mind body connection and seeing physical changes in her symptoms and the way she’s feeling. And so that’s where we’re going as we step in with our beautiful volunteer, Kate.
Here we go.
Hello.
Kate: Hi.
Brandy Gillmore: Hi, beautiful. It’s wonderful to connect with you
Kate: and you. Thank you so much. Um, just a little heads up. Um, and I’m really sorry if I throw up, um, I was sick just before we, we connected. Um, I’m ready if I am, but I’m very sorry if I do.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And, uh, all right, so, uh, diving in. Okay. So, uh, here we go. So, uh, so first and foremost, other than throwing up being sick, uh, if I asked you what else is going on with you,
Kate: I wrote it down so I don’t mumble it, jumble it up too much, but thank you so much for letting me be on a volunteer on the podcast.
I don’t think we could say how much Thank you, Brandy. Um, anyway, so, um, I have CRPS. Um, I’ve had that since 2010. And I’ve been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and I’ve been in hospital since 21st of December. Uh, I’m too unwell to come home. They need to do chemotherapy first to shrink it. Um, and then if they can shrink it enough, they’ll operate to remove it.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. All right. So, um, bingo. And, uh, and so you were diagnosed in December, is that correct?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. All right. And, um, gimme one second. Bingo. Okay. So here we go. You ready to dive in?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And by the way, I just wanna say I love that you’re looking outside of the box for answers. I love that.
Kate: Thank you.
Brandy Gillmore: Absolutely. Absolutely. And so you’ve been in the hospital since December, is that correct?
Kate: Yeah, December the 21st.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Okay. So, um, so next year I expect you to do a little bit better planning around Christmas clean.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: The holidays. I’ll try. Okay. Yeah. Like, I’m gonna try. Okay. It’s a good plan. Yeah. Okay.
So yeah, next year plan on spending Christmas and a little more fun. Um, yeah. Holidays or whatever holidays you celebrate. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Breathe. And, uh, bango, uh, there’s somebody that you are, uh, you’re feeling angry and reactive to. Do you know who that is by chance?
Kate: Um, probably a few different people.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Can
Kate: you give
Brandy Gillmore: a couple initials? Um,
Kate: I’m not sure if it would be job related or if it would be, um, a specific person related. Okay. Um, because I’ve had three different jobs at the start of 25 that really didn’t go very well. Um, so I was quite angry about that. Um,
Brandy Gillmore: okay, so gimme one second.
Kate: Yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: gimme one second.
Bingo. Uh, yes, it is towards the jobs. Can you say, um, can you give him a number? Job one, job two, and job three?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So I want you to just say job one,
Kate: job one, job two, job two, and job three.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. And can you say job three again?
Kate: Job three.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. And if I ask you zero to 10 how reactive you feel towards that one, what would you say?
Kate: About eight or nine, probably.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So 8, 9 50, somewhere in there, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, um, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: And if I ask you why you feel like they didn’t go so well, why would you say that is?
Kate: Um, because I felt like they weren’t honest with me. And I’d had two jobs previously where, because I have CRPS, I asked some very specific questions around disability, uh, support, like just adaptations they have, and then questions around the role that they said there I would have support around.
And it wasn’t like that at all. I took over from another person, the handover was incomplete. And then the guy who was supposed to be training me, he was leaving and he didn’t have time to train me because he was doing his own job. And people kept coming to me every day with multiple Kate, could you please do this?
Could you do that? And not half of them, Brandy, I didn’t even know what they were, let alone how to do it. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Gimme one second. Pinga. Okay. And if I ask you growing up,
Kate: yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: If I ask you zero to 10, how much you would say maybe you had a, uh, frustrations also with people growing up, what would you say?
Kate: Oh, huge. Like a hundred?
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. Okay. I love your awareness. I love your awareness.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, um, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: And if I ask you why you had frustrations with people growing up, why would you say that is?
Kate: My mom and dad separated when I was three and my mom had to work between, so two, sometimes three jobs.
Um, I was with child minders a lot, some were lovely, some were not. Um, I had some really unpleasant experiences with some of them. And, um, my sister, uh, we are so close now. I, I love her so much. We are very close, but when we were kids, she was my big sister and I was the annoying little sister. So lots of frustration around that relationship and child minders and their kids were really mean.
Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice for a moment if I ask you, who would you say is more reactive? Would you say your sister has a tendency to be more reactive, or would you say you have a tendency to be more reactive?
Kate: Honestly, I think we are both very similar.
I think we’re both probably equal, um, that you may see something different.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Um, so let’s put it in a different, uh, gimme one second. Okay. So, like you said, you came onto this job and you didn’t know, you didn’t know some of the things that you were being asked to do, et cetera, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And what would happen if you weren’t as emotionally reactive?
What if you knew that you didn’t know and you handled it in a way that just went through a steps and processes and delegated it back to somebody else or whatnot in a very relaxed manner? What would that look like?
Kate: I’m not sure. Um, some, well, not much really. ’cause some stuff I did just say, I’m really sorry.
I don’t know what that is.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: That was it.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So what you’re saying is. You could have navigated or you could moving forward, navigate it without feeling intense upset. Correct.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe bingo.
There’s also, there’s a feeling of feeling like a bingo, like a ex, like an, a very intense distrust of people. Are you familiar with that feeling?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: If I ask you zero to 10, how high?
Kate: 10.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, um, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe now. Do you think that they tried to mislead you or do you think that they were giving you the information, wanting you to, wanting it to be correct?
Or do you think they purposely misled you
Kate: in job three?
Brandy Gillmore: Um, yeah.
Kate: In job three? No, I, I don’t think they intentionally misled me. I, I think they were trying to do the best with what they had.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So if they didn’t purposely mislead you
Kate: mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Do you need the intense distrust?
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and if they didn’t intentionally mislead you,
do you need the intense anger?
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So if you think about it for a moment, did they even know?
Kate: I don’t know. I like to think not.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and I also want you to notice the feeling of like, um, huge rage. Can you see that?
Kate: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. Okay.
Kate: Yep.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. Okay. So, um, bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Do you want me to go into that or No?
Brandy Gillmore: I don’t want you to go into rage anymore at all.
No,
Kate: no. Okay. No,
Brandy Gillmore: no, no, no, no. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I meant it in a playful way. Yeah, exactly. So the reason that I’m going piece by piece is I’m trying to navigate this very carefully because I don’t want you to increase it either, right?
Kate: No, yeah, of course. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And so if I ask you, you know how most people are perfect, right?
Kate: Yeah, of course.
Brandy Gillmore: Perfect. We’re all perfect and also always growing, right? So people can have, there can be imperfections, there can be things to do, um, and change and whatnot. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and people can make mistakes and whatnot, et cetera, right?
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: And so I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to think about if you do something that’s not perfect, does somebody have a right to be explosively angry at you?
Kate: Hopefully not.
Brandy Gillmore: Hopefully not, right?
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: So if somebody else makes a mistake, do you have a right to be explosively angry at them?
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Okay. So this is one piece, and I’m gonna pivot for a moment, okay?
Kate: Sure.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. Now, there’s also an issue going on in your personal life. You can see that as well, correct?
Kate: Um, with, with like anger.
Brandy Gillmore: Um. Bingo with frustration.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. If I ask you zero to 10, how high?
Kate: 10.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And if I ask you y
Kate: um, can we check the initial first?
Brandy Gillmore: Yes, we can.
Kate: Because it’s gonna be one of two people. It will either be r
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo,
Kate: it’ll be s or it’ll be S
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Yeah. And that’s what thought. It’s both. Okay.
Kate: Okay. Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. See?
Kate: Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: So go ahead and start with one of them. Either one. You choose.
Kate: Okay,
Brandy Gillmore: go ahead.
Kate: So R is R is my dad, which I’ve worked on.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: And I have tried, uh, I think I’m much better actually with him.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So wait a sec. So wait a sec. Wait a sec. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: And so what is the issue with RI
Kate: don’t understand him. Um, he, I, I feel like he doesn’t.
Want to be around me. Uh, I know he loves me, but he doesn’t, I don’t know. I find it very difficult to be close to him or with him, feel like he doesn’t want to be around me. Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Now, so basically, you know your dad loves you.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: But you feel like he doesn’t want to be around you, correct?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you Bingo, how much that bothers you, what would you say? A
Kate: a 10.
Brandy Gillmore: 10. Okay. Now, if I ask your dad if you have a bit of a temper
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: What would he say?
Kate: He’d say that, um, we both do. Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Now the thing of it is if you feel like somebody’s always mad at you.
Kate: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: How much time do you
Kate: want? I would not want to. Yeah. Numb.
Brandy Gillmore: But what if you love them?
Kate: That it would be really hard.
Brandy Gillmore: Ah, so basically you feel like your dad really loves you and he doesn’t want to be around you because if, and you’re not sure why, but if you think about it for a moment, notice
Kate: I might be hard to be around, wouldn’t I?
Brandy Gillmore: Ah, okay. But you can change that.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Right? So, uh, so I’m ask you to breathe now if somebody was frustrated with you at a level 10. Just a mere level 10.
Kate: Yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: just a mere 10. 10 outta 10 or 50 Outta 10.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Zero to 10, how much would you wanna be around them?
Kate: Uh, zero.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh. Huh huh?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you also how often you’re trying to talk to your dad or process with him or make him wrong or tell him what he did wrong mm-hmm.
How often would you say that is?
Kate: Uh, less, but I still do it.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe zero to 10. What number would you give it?
Kate: Three or a four? I would say.
Brandy Gillmore: So I would’ve said about a level six. Now I want you to picture just for a moment.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Somebody’s frustrated with you at about a level 10.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: And they want to tell you about all of the things that you did wrong.
Kate: Yeah. No.
Brandy Gillmore: Good. How much would you like to spend time around them?
Kate: And none. Absolutely not. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, oh.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: It’s weird. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe Now, this is what’s really great right now. You could feel wrong. You go, oh, I feel wrong.
Or you could feel excited. And what I mean by that is that if you know what’s creating some distance and you stop doing that, mm-hmm. Then it equate to love and connection and closeness. And that’s ultimately what you want, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, I just love her heart. I love how much she loves her family. It’s really sweet and I love herself honesty there where she just is really reflecting and saying, you know what she seeing that maybe she’s been a little bit hard to be around.
And then she simultaneously, of course wanting to be around her family. So I love that she loves them and I love her self-awareness. And what I also love was this moment where. She can use to change it where she doesn’t have to criticize herself or judge herself or any of that, or feel bad or guilty or anything.
Just honest self-awareness and a willingness to change and to really embrace that change all of the way. But I just, I love her response in her self-awareness and self-honesty in her heart. Just beautiful and brilliant. And of course it does take a real change. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer.
Kate, here we go.
Yeah, great. I mean, let’s be honest. If you love somebody at a level 10 and you feel like when they get together, they just wanna talk and also blame you, and they’re always gonna bring things something up. Most all of the time they’re gonna bring something up and they’re frustrated with you at a level 10.
Yeah. And you’re wrong all the time, and you’re wrong all of the time, and you’re wrong all of the time. How fun is that?
Kate: Yeah, that’s a lot.
Brandy Gillmore: It’s a lot. If I ask you, honestly zero to 10, if I ask you honestly how much you want to make him wrong and tell him all of the wrong things that he did,
Kate: oh,
Brandy Gillmore: zero to
Kate: 10,
Brandy Gillmore: 10, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you please, and I want you to picture, somebody wants to make you wrong at a level 10 and tell you about all of the things, all the ways you messed up 10, 20, 30 years ago.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: They’re like, I did a lifetime of ways that I’m upset with you and mad with you, and I wanna tell you about my entire lifetime of ways, and I’m frustrated with you and I love you, but let me.
Make you feel bad and small and like you’ve messed up. Like how often do you sit there and count all the things that he did do? That was good.
Kate: Not enough?
Brandy Gillmore: Oh,
Kate: definitely not enough.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So, uh, so you could change that, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Now, by the way, would that be a good change for your life?
Kate: Oh, definitely.
Brandy Gillmore: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and this is what’s great as if I ask you, you see all the hurt from your dad. Maybe you don’t actually need that. Maybe you just need a change instead.
Kate: Yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: yeah,
Kate: yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: yeah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So like you said, he loves you, but he doesn’t wanna be around you and I get it.
You,
Kate: yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Right. You would, you would feel the same way if it was reversed, right?
Kate: Yeah, I would. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So what’s beautiful is that he does love you, and if you change these things, how much more do you think he’d wanna be around you?
Kate: I hope a lot more.
Brandy Gillmore: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Well, let me ask you, if somebody wants to tell you all of the things you’ve done wrong
Kate: mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: For the last 30 years
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: And they’re frustrated with you, zero to 10, how much do you wanna be around them?
Kate: Zero.
Brandy Gillmore: But if somebody wants to make you feel good and love you, and laugh with you and connect with you, how much do you wanna be around them?
Kate: A 10.
Brandy Gillmore: A 10, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. So, okay. Also, if there’s somebody who could go off at you at any moment and they can get upset.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: How safe does it feel to be around that person?
Kate: Zero.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe Bing. Yeah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and I’m gonna ask you to be willing to change.
Kate: Absolutely.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, fantastic. And so maybe you don’t need to be frustrated with him. And by the way, what is your level of frustration with him right now?
Kate: A couple of things. He’s been very good coming into hospital to see me that, um, he gets angry very quickly. Um, I worry about him because, and then I, I tell him, I basically, I tell him off for things like, he’ll get the bus, he won’t drive because he gets angry in traffic, but then he can’t use his phone and then he doesn’t know how to get the bus back.
So then he has to ring his wife. And I’m just like, come on, dad. You’ve, you’ve gotta, you’ve gotta be able to do this yourself. Like,
Brandy Gillmore: Hey, so wait a sec. So wait a sec. Wait a sec. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: And, uh. Can’t he just be himself? Yeah. Like what? Yep. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and you could just let him be him.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. What happens if you stop trying to change him and let him call his wife and then his wife can help him out and that is none of your business and he can just be himself? Yeah. So who is for a moment if he’s not driving because he gets too angry and then he takes the bus and then, okay.
And then he has to call his wife for help. Okay. What does that,
Kate: yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Why do you need to change him? Why does he have to do it himself? I
Kate: just worry about him,
Brandy Gillmore: but, but Oh, because you need him to do it differently. So I
Kate: have a question. Yes. Basically, yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Couldn’t you just accept him for him, who he is?
Kate: Yeah, I can.
Yes.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, well, wouldn’t that be lovely?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe now, by the way, how old is your father?
Kate: 70.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And if I ask you zero to 10, how much he’s good with technology, what? What would you say?
Kate: Oh, zero.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So maybe you could have compassion instead of telling him.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I can’t imagine why he doesn’t like coming around you a lot.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So then you make him wrong for the areas that he’s not doing well at.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: And then you tell him he is gotta do it on his own.
Kate: Yeah. And he doesn’t like doing it on his own because he doesn’t know how to, yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, so I’m gonna
Kate: ask you to breathe. Bingo.
Brandy Gillmore: All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, again, I just love her heart. I love her self-awareness, just beautiful and brilliant. And what I also love is this is, you know, notice what I said to her. I said, well, no wonder why he doesn’t like coming around you. Now, of course, that is not in a critical way.
What is helpful about that is this is here she is feeling sick, loving her father, and feeling like he doesn’t want to come around her. And that. Is really a painful feeling. And when somebody feels like that, where they feel like, okay, they’re feeling like somebody doesn’t want to love them or be around them, that can create a lot of hurt.
However, if she can identify the reason why that’s happening, and then of course transform that. All of the way, then her mind can see how she can create better relationships moving forward, and life can get better and better and better. And I see people do that all of the time. Now, of course it does take a real genuine change and really getting rid of these triggers, but it’s really beautiful.
And so I just want to emphasize it’s not about pointing at yourself and ever making you wrong, but instead in your own life, you know, identifying things that you can really change and then changing them all of the way, even in the subconscious mind. So it creates that real shift at a deeper level. And so that of course, is key.
And that’s where we’re going, continuing down the rabbit hole. And so on that note, let’s go ahead and step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Kate. Here we go.
Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and what would happen if you stopped trying to change him?
Kate: I wouldn’t be so frustrated and angry with him. I would just let him be.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, well can you just love him for who he is?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So if you just let him be who he is, what’s the level of frustration?
Kate: Zero.
Brandy Gillmore: Ah, okay.
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe now, by the way. I’m just curious, how good are you at being an architect, by the way? Like,
Kate: yeah. Zero.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Well, I’ve decided that you need to get good at it. You really need to get good at it, and you need to do this from now on, on your own. Um, and, um, I decided that now is that fair for me to just suddenly decide?
Kate: No, it’s very unfair.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So now what did your, what did your dad do as a profession?
Kate: Um, a couple of different things. So he was an electrician for a while and then worked. You, wait a sec, sec. Um, yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: And how was he as an electrician?
Kate: Oh, I don’t know. I was a little kid. Um, okay. I think.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And then he worked for
Kate: what?
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah,
Kate: uh, British Airways.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And how’d he do for British Airways?
Kate: Alright. I think.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. How long did he
Kate: work? Yeah, quite a while. I think he was like, um, so it was part of like the baggage and that kind of stuff. And I believe he made team, team leader. So he must
Brandy Gillmore: have Oh, so he must have been had. He must
Kate: have been.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, great. I’m ask you to breathe. Okay. So if he made team lead, he must have been good at what he was doing, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and you’re pretty good at all doing all that stuff right?
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, well, you need to get good at it, and you need to go to the airport and do your baggage on your own.
From now on, he’s decided. He’s decided you need to get good at that and you need to start doing your own baggage. He decided that, and he is trying to tell you, you have to start doing that yourself. Right?
Kate: Yes. Pretty unfair, isn’t it?
Brandy Gillmore: Well, yeah,
Kate: it’s
Brandy Gillmore: not kind. I mean, no, I mean, he decided that, and so you have to now know how to do that.
So, so that’s my point is we all have different skills, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Who do you think is doing better at baggage than him or you?
Kate: Yeah, him.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Now, by the way, it’s kind of amazing. So it might on some ways seem like, oh, well that’s just baggage, but let’s be honest, do you have baggage to show up in the right city, on the right plane at the right time?
Like there’s, oh,
Kate: yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: there’s some things to that, right? There’s
Kate: some, yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, uh, so, um, bing. Oh my gosh, recently, a few months ago I went to my brother’s wedding and, uh, last year actually now, uh, but, uh, I ended up changing planes at like last minute because there was some weather and so there was weather one direction where there’s a delay.
So I went a d completely different plane, completely different way, and my luggage was right there and I was like, wow, genius. Like, it was so perfect. Like, it, like,
Kate: yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: perfect. And I literally, I mean the, the last minute change got on a, I mean it, the fact that they even got my luggage at the right time in the right, yeah.
Kate: It was
Brandy Gillmore: genius. And so was, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe and so bingo. So he can be good at him, right?
Kate: Yeah, he can.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now what if you knew that part of the reason he’s always frustrated is because everybody’s always telling him what to do.
Kate: Yeah, probably.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you zero to 10 how much you need to be angry and frustrated and hurt by him, what would you say?
Kate: Zero.
Brandy Gillmore: Zero. Okay. And, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Good. Good job with your energy. Beautiful. Brilliant, brilliant. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Good, good, good. Okay. Is that a little shift for you or a big shift?
Kate: No, it was a big shift.
Brandy Gillmore: It’s a big shift, right? Okay. Yeah. The other initial, who was that?
Kate: S.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And who is that?
Kate: Uh, a guy. Um, uh, I wouldn’t, can’t really put a label on it, not, but I was, I like him, I really like him, and, and he’s been away for two months. He came back just as all of this was kicking off. So I saw him once and I understand, um, he can’t, he can’t come in to see me because he said he can’t handle seeing me in so much pain and with wires and tubes and hooked up to machinery.
Especially given his job is a very active job where he goes in and does things or rescues people. So to see me like this, he can’t help.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: So he doesn’t know how to handle it.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: And I can, well, that means,
Brandy Gillmore: okay, well get your shit together and heal yourself. Right.
Kate: Oh, I love it
Brandy Gillmore: and I love that you have a great sense of humor. Fantastic. Fantastic. Beautiful. And gimme a second that. Bingo. Now I want you to notice the part of you who’s been saying and telling yourself that he doesn’t care. Can you see that?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, and if I ask you zero to 10, how much,
Kate: uh, I vacillate between he doesn’t and he doesn’t.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo,
Kate: but I, yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So you’ve vacillate between he and he doesn’t, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, um, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you how often you vacillate even with your dad, between He does and he doesn’t care and he does and he doesn’t.
Kate: Oh, all the time. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So what you’re saying is a little bit of a pattern.
Kate: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Yeah. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, I love her sense of humor and her playfulness is just beautiful. And again, I mentioned earlier on that there was a bit of playfulness and there’s also a push behind it. There’s also a shift behind it. So in this situation, of course, the reason that I’m saying that, and the reason he’s even coming up is because that’s part of the pattern.
So there’s a pattern of feeling exactly like she just said, that somebody cares or doesn’t care, and that she vacillates in between people caring or not caring. And so there’s a bigger picture pattern to this very thing. But as far as that topic with him, I needed to create some type of shift. And so.
Using humor and playfulness. I of course helped to move it forward, but there’s a bigger picture pattern that needs addressed. So from this, the insight that I want to share is, you know, having a sense of humor and playfulness with yourself is a good thing in a kind way. So, notice it wasn’t in a critical way or in a mean way.
She laughed. We were laughing about it. It’s a playful thing where I want her to get her strength together and really create this shift at a deeper level, because this pattern is very important for her health and her life, and her healing. And so that, of course, is where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Kate.
Here we go.
Bingo. Okay. So there’s a deeper feeling inside and mm-hmm. Let’s see if you can, let’s, let’s see. So I’m gonna ask you to close your eyes.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: There’s a feeling inside that’s like this feeling that says if something really bad happens to me, people will be there. Can you see that? Like your dad will come and go ahead.
Kate: Um, that I thought would be around my mom.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. ‘
Kate: cause I always
Brandy Gillmore: Go
Kate: ahead,
Brandy Gillmore: keep going.
Kate: I always missed her growing up and I hated being at child minders. And I do have a pattern of being unwell and then it’s ramped up as I’ve gotten older where I have needed my mum to be here. I’ve, it’s like, um, she’s a career woman and it’s pulling her away and bringing her to me.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And so the thing of it is, is that this is what’s also messing you up now is a few things. Is that. Number one, that’s also what you’ve wanted to do with your dad as well, because now you feel the distance from your dad. Oh. And now it’s like, oh, I know how to bring people closer. And so the subconscious mind is like, just like go, like you said, growing up, if you were sick, the career woman would then take time to then see you.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So now with your dad feeling this love and connection, but then feeling like he’s away, now you feel like, well, if I’m sick, it will then bring him in. But then what’s also serving you but doesn’t feel like it’s so good is that this other, this man that you like is now feeling like, oh, he can’t come.
And so it’s kind of like a mind bending for you, but
Kate: Oh,
Brandy Gillmore: the subconscious. So you can see the pattern though, if something catastrophic happens that you feel like, yeah, it calls in love and attention, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So the, I don’t
Kate: want that.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now, this is the thing is there’s a reality to it, meaning that, um, bingo.
It’s kind of like this. Is that. So, so the change needs to be real because if I told you I have a tendency, I have patterns that push people away, push people away, push people, push people away, then it doesn’t go so well, right? Mm-hmm. So the, so my point is because you have patterns that push people away, push people, the, the temper, the blame, the fixing, the this, the that, the trying to
Kate: Yeah, yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Change people and all of that. The upset, the temper, it pushes people away. Yeah. So then you feel like you then need the illness to then pull people close. But really ultimately what you just need is to stop pushing people away with the temper, the upset, the reactiveness, et cetera. Does that make sense?
Beautiful.
Kate: Yeah, it does. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah,
Kate: yeah. Okay,
Brandy Gillmore: so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
There’s a feeling. You may have heard me spoke, speak on this before. Yeah. But, um, there’s a feeling of feeling like, um, bingo. It’s like the feeling of feeling like you are gonna miss me when I’m gone. Like, you’re gonna regret it.
Kate: Oh God.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: Yikes.
Brandy Gillmore: If I ask you zero to 10 how much you can find that, what would you say?
Like, you’re gonna regret you’re gonna miss me? Zero to 10.
Kate: It’s probably about a six, although I really don’t even want it. I don’t wanna even admit that that’s there.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I would, I
Kate: really don’t
Brandy Gillmore: I hear you. But instead I hear you, you see it. I, I would’ve said an eight even. But you see it there. Right. I love your awareness.
Okay. I love your awareness. Yeah. Okay. How exciting to be able to just change it. Right.
Kate: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So instead of wanting people to miss you when you’re gone, what happens if you feel excited that you can connect with people and excited to be able to connect with people, right?
Kate: Yeah. That’s
Brandy Gillmore: much better.
Kate: Excited.
Brandy Gillmore: Yes. To be able to connect. And how great is it going to be? Like, imagine connecting with your father in a whole new way.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Wouldn’t letting him be exactly. Him? Yeah. And if he needs the bus and he misses the bus and he’s calling his wife and all of that, you just say, dad, I’ll talk to you while you’re sitting at the bus stop, or whatever it is.
You know what I mean? You just,
Kate: yeah, yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: yeah. Okay. So, uh, so it just is what it is. You let people just be exactly who they are, how they are, right. Unless they want to change. Right? So, I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Sure.
Brandy Gillmore: So what if, what if, instead of people missing you, if you’re gone, they actually love you while you’re there.
Kate: That’s much nicer feeling
Brandy Gillmore: that is, yes. Love you, laugh with you, connect with you, enjoy you, play with you, enjoy, laugh, connect. What does that look like?
Kate: It’s so much nicer.
Brandy Gillmore: That is such a better plan. Okay, so we’re really getting down to, you got some bad planning here, Christmas. Yeah. What are you planning for next Christmas?
Like better planning for next Christmas, right? It’s gotta be, yeah. Or holidays. What holiday do you sell? Is it Christmas or is it Hanukkah? Or is it
Yeah.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: It’s Christmas.
Kate: Yeah. Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So next year, not hospital, celebrating with people happy, healthy. Do you hear me?
Kate: Yeah. Yes.
Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And instead of people missing you laughing and connecting with you, and without the frustration, the anger, the blame, we’re trying to fix them at all. But just being good at connecting with people and people and connecting. How does that sound?
Kate: So much nicer.
Brandy Gillmore: Yes.
This is better planning. So it comes down a bad planning problem.
Kate: Yep.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Bingo. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Okay. So if you said next step of the plan to be able to start healing yourself so you can get home and you can start connecting with people and connecting.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Right. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe now. If I ask your level of physical pain right now, what’s your level of physical pain?
Kate: Oh, that’s changed.
I thought I knew what as 10 was until I was in here.
Brandy Gillmore: I hear you. What’s your level of laser focus
Kate: at the moment? Six, seven.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you where you feel the most pain at, where is that located?
Kate: Yeah, right. Middle of my chest.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m
Kate: gonna under my ribs on the right.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: And through to my back.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: And I want you to notice the part of you inside that’s got this explosive upset, wanting to scream, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That’s very boring. That too bad plan. I’m telling you, you’ve got to change some of these plans.
Yeah. So I’m gonna breathe. I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Absolutely.
Brandy Gillmore: I, I love, I love the direction you’re going. Absolutely. That’s good planning. Good planning. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe so you could then let go of the anger and actually start really actually making these changes even today and start actually feeling in a different way.
Yeah. So you could do that. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice what it would feel like if you stopped wanting to change everybody else. You don’t need to change. Yeah. You don’t actually need to change everybody else.
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: No. You don’t need to. Right. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
You actually don’t need to change everybody else, right? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. You don’t need to change your dad. You don’t. You need to change your mom.
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now, my, by the way, your mom is a business woman, correct?
Kate: Um, not business. She’s a career woman. So she’s in the med, like medical, but now she is a lecturer, like a university lecturer.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and, uh, bingo. And gimme one second. Bingo. Let’s go this direction. If I ask you what is one thing you feel like you could do to connect with your father, what would that be?
Kate: Food.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: He, he loves food and I love cooking.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And so if you guys were to cook and eat and enjoy together and create some laughs during that is possible.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And how often does he eat food?
Is that a common, is that a common occurrence?
Kate: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, especially my dad is a foodie.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, great. So he’s a foodie and you love to cook, right?
Kate: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: That seems like there’s a connection there that, that you could, right. Okay. So, so I’m asking you to breathe, which seems a lot better, uh, than, uh, the hospital, right?
It’s, yeah. That sounds like better planning, right?
Kate: Absolutely, it
Brandy Gillmore: is. Yeah. I like, I like it. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Okay. So I want you to notice your level of pain. What’s your level of pain? Zero to 10?
Kate: I think it’s about the same.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: No, hold on. I think it’s gone down by one.
Brandy Gillmore: Six right there.
Bingo. Gimme one second. That that, yes.
Bingo. Okay. So with, can you say job number three, please?
Kate: Three.
Brandy Gillmore: Can you say job number two?
Kate: Job number two.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay, so there’s a feeling of wanting to get back at job number two, like getting revenge at job number two. Can you see that?
Kate: I would say more for number one than number two. Um,
Brandy Gillmore: can you say job?
Can you say job number one?
Kate: Job number one.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. I would agree. It’s there. Also, um, say job number two.
Kate: Job number two.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. I would say it’s there also. Um, bingo. Gimme one second. Uh, so if I ask you how much you feel duped on job number two?
Kate: Oh yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Zero to
Kate: 10. 10?
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. 10. Okay. And so notice as soon as I said duped, your whole face lit up, like guess.
Yeah.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Your face. Respondent. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And do you think that they did it on purpose or do you think that they’re just navigating the best that they can?
Kate: Navigating the best that they could.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So navigating the best that they could, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And instead of feeling duped and upset, what happens if you instead have compassion and understanding? Like if I ask you watch this, if I ask you how much their business is a bit of a mess right now, what would you say?
Kate: Oh, probably. Um, yeah, probably. No, in fact, I know it is.
’cause they said in a meeting they had a high staff turnover and that was a problem.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to, and I want you to notice for a moment, they want that problem, correct?
Kate: No,
Brandy Gillmore: they don’t.
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, they don’t want that problem. That’s weird. You don’t think they do it on purpose?
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: So, and by the way, did they say in the staff meeting they were trying to fix it?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, oh, so they are trying to fix it, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So you wanna get them back for not being perfect?
Kate: No.
Brandy Gillmore: What?
Kate: No. No, I don’t.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So zero to 10, how much do you need to get job number one and job number two back?
Kate: I don’t. I can just let it go.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe bingo and notice your level of pain, zero to 10. What’s your level?
Kate: Um, say about five.
Brandy Gillmore: That was very good. About a four point you at about a 4.6. So right in that same area. Four, five. Um, bingo. Mm-hmm.
Kate: So gimme one second.
Brandy Gillmore: All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love this shift for her. I just, I love it. I love her self-awareness. I love that she’s seeing things in a different way. Just brilliant. And there are a few insights that I want to share because I’ve seen this before, where people feel the sense of resentment or upset about work.
And it can affect them. However, if you notice in this situation, one of the shifts that she’s noticing is that, of course, her work was doing the best they could. They didn’t want that problem there either. In fact, they mentioned that they were trying to fix the issue. And so if you think about it, the very reason that she was there was because they had this issue.
And so meaning that if we look at the bigger picture for a moment, anybody could resent any type of work that they do or situation. If you think about my situation, for example, I could be so upset about the healthcare system that I was injured for so many years and yada, yada, yada. My doctors didn’t heal me, but let’s be honest, they did the best that they could.
The system did the best that it could, so I could resent it all and be upset. But why? And would that be helpful? And is that fair? I mean, they did the best they could. They cared. And the problem was, is that the solution just wasn’t there yet. And of course. That’s what I’m working on. That’s what I am so passionate about, is helping people to see that we can get results, that we can heal, we can change our lives, and it’s beautiful and it’s spiritual and it’s ultimate empowerment.
When we really understand that connection and the intelligence of the physical body, it’s brilliant and amazing in the brain. It’s just incredible. And so if we stop and think about it for a moment, I could feel resentful, but that would be silly for me to do instead of just focusing on the solution and being here and showing up and giving my all to make the situation better.
And so my point is, in anybody’s work, they could be upset, and I’ve seen people before where they’re upset because 50 things are coming across their desk, and so they’re upset about this and upset about that, or upset about the structure or whatnot. There’s something that, there’s an imperfection in the company that they’re upset about or resentful about, but when you stop and think about it for a moment, it doesn’t make.
Sense because ultimately they’re not doing it on purpose unless somebody is attacking them or, uh, being abusive to them or purposely sabotaging their work experience. That’s one thing. But notice even in this situation, they’re trying to fix an issue that was happening in the company. They didn’t want that problem.
I’ve never seen a company say, I hope to make this really hard on our employees. Like I’ve never seen that before. Right? And so ultimately what happens or what needs to happen is that solution. And so often, you know, there can be training gaps because I’ve worked with large companies and sometimes.
People don’t know what somebody else does know or doesn’t know. And so there’s a learning curve and there’s a communication that is needed. And that goes both ways, depending upon the company and the size of the company and the situation. But just that communication and that understanding both ways is of key for success.
Now, by the way, on another note, I can tell you that I’ve seen people who were resentful about their jobs and they were upset and resentful, and then of course they manifested losing their job. And I’m seeing even that with and AI where I’ve seen people who were resentful and upset about their job because they had so much to do, and now they’re being replaced with ai and now they’re upset because they’re losing their job, but they didn’t want it in the first place.
They were resentful and angry and upset about the job, and now that something or someone else is doing it. Then they feel even more resentment and it creates other issues and problems, et cetera, et cetera. So my point is, is of course, just that holding on to resentment and upset for any reason, it can affect your health and it can affect your life.
And so often people will have a tendency to look at things from an resentful perspective that can just repeat. So in other words, a person can feel resentful for having a lot of things to do, and then they’re feeling resentful about it, and then suddenly now they have. Nothing to do, and then they feel really resentful about that because now the job isn’t there, et cetera.
And so my point is, whatever it is that you do in your life, you’ll want to have good energy about it. You want to appreciate it. And if there’s something off, which there can be, of course, instead of being upset or resentful working, to really fix that to create the solution. Because typically, if there’s any company, companies like solutions, they want problems to be fixed.
They want employees to be happy. They want all of those great things. So instead of feeling resentful or angry or upset, or a victim or whatever it is. That collaboration, that kindness, that mutual understanding, that desire to want to improve things is key because unfortunately, that resentful pattern can show up in multiple different areas in life in a variety of different ways.
Now, the beautiful thing is, is that our volunteer, Kate did start shifting her energy towards her job, and things got even better with what she was manifesting. However, there’s still a lot of resentful, anger, upset, and integrity issues that are going on that are still affecting her in the now. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Kate, here we go.
So I’m gonna ask you to breathe the feeling of feeling like you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? If I ask you how much you can feel that towards your mom, what would you say?
Kate: Oh, oh, I don’t even wanna go there. I just, I love her so much. I just always wanted to be near her.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Okay? So that’s a better plan. See, I told you, see, you really have to change this planning around.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So could you make a better plan then? So it’s missing, missing her, get a better plan to connect with her that isn’t sickness and problems and all those things, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. So instead of missing her, make a plan to see her. Now, by the way, does she also eat food?
Kate: Yes,
Brandy Gillmore: she does. Oh, she does. See you guys have things in common.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So if you offered to cook for her sometime or cook together sometime, would she want to do that?
Kate: Maybe not cook together, but if I invited her and her partner around for Sunday lunch, I, I’m pretty sure she would love that.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Well isn’t that easier easier than going to the hospital?
Kate: Oh yeah. Much much.
Brandy Gillmore: And it’s, and it’s such a better plan than you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone. It’s like, come over for Sunday.
Lunch is so much easier than you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone. Right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Brilliant. I like the better you, you see? Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe
Kate: much simpler,
Brandy Gillmore: much simpler, much easier. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So I want you to picture from now on, you guys start setting up a regular routine of inviting her and her partner over.
For lunch.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So what happens if you invite her over once a month for lunch or once every other week, or whate, I don’t know, whatever you think is, but what does that look like if you, or maybe it’s weekly, I don’t know, but what, what does that look like for your life?
Kate: Very doable and very lovely.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
And do you think she would come?
Kate: Yeah, I do.
Brandy Gillmore: Do you see this whole planning thing? So I’m ask you to breathe so you don’t have to do things the hard way you could do things the food way.
Kate: Yes.
Brandy Gillmore: The fun way. Right? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe now, by the way, if I ask you how often you try to tell her what she did wrong also, what would you say?
Kate: Um, I don’t, I don’t see that. Um,
Brandy Gillmore: okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Let me put it in a different direction. You ready?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Could you make lunches more fun?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Could you enjoy, laugh, connect, love, be sweet.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Have fun.
Kate: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Yes. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Yeah.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Doesn’t that sound like a much better plan?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and I want you to notice your level of pain. What’s your level?
Kate: Uh, well, five, a little bit less, like maybe 4.5.
Brandy Gillmore: So I was got about a 4.2 right in there. Gimme one second. That, that, that, that. Bingo.
Bingo. There feels like a woman at the workplaces at the workplace that you’re wanting to get back at. It’s like you want to, uh, do you know who that is?
Kate: Uh, yeah. I can’t remember her name though, but I know who you, I know who you are referring to.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, so bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe
Kate: job number one.
That was
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Bingo.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So if I ask you notice the part of you that almost kind of like wants to get, there’s like a revenge, but kind of like destroy, like there’s a part of you that has blah, blah, blah, blah. You see all that, right?
Kate: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And what if instead you just actually found a job that you love that’s really amazing and wonderful and feels fantastic?
Kate: I do. And I do have that. Can I?
Brandy Gillmore: Yep.
Kate: Can I tell you what it is?
Brandy Gillmore: Uh, gimme one second.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Actually, yes. Can you tell me what it is?
Kate: I’m a sports masseuse. I love it.
Brandy Gillmore: You’re what?
Kate: I meet sports masseuse.
Brandy Gillmore: Sports masseuse. How
Kate: fun.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. Amazing.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Amazing.
Kate: I meet the best people.
Brandy Gillmore: Amazing. I
Kate: love my job.
Brandy Gillmore: Fantastic. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. And if I ask you, when was the last time you spoke poorly about those previous jobs?
Kate: Oh, a lot. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. Yeah. So your way of trying to get them back is by speaking poorly about them. You see that, right?
Kate: Oh, okay. Yeah, I, okay.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So,
Kate: oh, I didn’t realize,
Brandy Gillmore: so you can change it.
Kate: Yeah. Yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: right. You can totally change it, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and so you can see the part of you that’s been speaking poorly about them, right?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So did you change up please?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe bingo. So you could really change that, correct?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And I want you to notice your level of pain. What’s your level?
Kate: Ooh,
Brandy Gillmore: bingo. Great. So gimme one second. Okay. Can you trust yourself to stop speaking poorly about them?
Kate: I can.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. A hundred percent.
Kate: Now I know. Now I know what you’ve just said. I, I know that I will feel tempted, but I will.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. But the thing of it is, is this is if I feel tempted to speak poorly about somebody,
Kate: okay,
Brandy Gillmore: let me repeat that.
If I feel tempted, how are my emotions?
Kate: Yeah, they’re still there.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. So what you said is I will stop, I will stop the action, but I won’t change the emotion.
Kate: Okay?
Brandy Gillmore: Right? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Okay?
Brandy Gillmore: So stopping the is great, but not only that, but if you feel tempted, how long is that going to necessarily?
How successful is that going to be? Yeah.
Kate: Probably not.
Brandy Gillmore: Probably not as
Kate: very successful. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe now. What if you actually just felt really happy about your job now? Yeah. The fact that you get to be a masseuse, I mean that’s, and and meet all kinds of amazing, wonderful people.
So, yeah. So moving forward in your life, what if it looks like being a masseuse? Masseuse and then having dinner with your dad and dinner and lunch with your mom and her partner and, and actually enjoying life and being happy and healthy and fantastic. What does that look like?
Kate: Much nicer.
Brandy Gillmore: That’s a better plan.
So many
Kate: That’s better.
Brandy Gillmore: Great, great, great, great, great. Bingo. Okay. Level of pain, zero to 10.
Kate: It is easing. I can feel it easing. It’s still there, but I can definitely feel it easing.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. What’s your level
Kate: still between a three and a four?
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. One, two. Okay. So I have about a two point about a 2.9. 2.9. Bingo. Okay, so gimme one second.
Yeah, there’s a part of you that still has the seeding energy towards job number one. Um, so this is the thing, right? So I want you to have so much compassion, and this is, yeah, bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. But either way, even if you are mad at somebody, it doesn’t give you the right to speak poorly about them.
If even if, even if, like let’s say for example, you did something that was not perfect last month.
Kate: Yeah,
Brandy Gillmore: yeah. And then somebody in your life feels like they can just broadcast it, broadcast it, speak poorly, speak poorly, speak poorly, speak because you made a mistake.
Kate: Yeah, that’s not very nice.
Brandy Gillmore: It’s not very nice.
And it’s not like it’s not okay. And so,
Kate: yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. So what would happen if you let it go completely? If you promised and knew and trusted yourself? Not only are you gonna let it go, but you’re actually gonna change the way you feel. A hundred percent. Yeah. Really, really real change.
Real change.
Kate: No, when you, when
Brandy Gillmore: you say have
Kate: compassionate. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So if I ask real change, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe
Kate: real. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So you’re understanding it in a different way. So you’re just understanding it in a different way.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: And if I ask you, could you really let it go?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. If I ask you to notice your level of pain, what’s your level?
Kate: Uh, about a two.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. About a two. Right. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Who’s doing that?
Kate: Me and you.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. It’s good teamwork. Ultimately I’m helping you with the identification part and you’ve gotta make the change part, right?
So it’s good.
Kate: Yeah, it’s good.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So if I ask you, are you ready to do this and to heal yourself all of the way, so now this is the thing. So what I’d want you to do. I want you to get into my video course and go through it, but I want you to ultimately embrace a real change. And I want you to just be honest with yourself.
So notice kind of like the, the thing of, you are gonna miss me when I’m gone type of feeling like notice even soon as I say it. Watch this. Notice how much your brain wants to avoid it.
Kate: Oh, yeah. I’m No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Brandy Gillmore: Exactly. And that’s how things stay suppressed. So instead,
Kate: oh,
Brandy Gillmore: what you could say is, is you could say, you’re not gonna miss me.
’cause we’re gonna have lunch on Sundays.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, so in other words, I really want you to start getting in new programming of going, oh, why are you gonna miss? Like, so I want you to also start creating that change so you have better programming. But, but of course it’s not just affirmations or what, like there’s a real programming and feeling that has to change at a deeper, deeper, deeper level.
But I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
Kate: Yeah. But
Brandy Gillmore: the good thing is, is you can see the difference in your pain right now. Right.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
Kate: Yeah, I really can.
Brandy Gillmore: Yes. Notice your level of pain right now.
Kate: No. Maybe a 1.5 or a two.
Brandy Gillmore: Say I gotta about 1.3, so good. Okay. Right. Okay. So that’s the thing. You can see the mind body connection, right?
Oh
Kate: yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe and I’m gonna ask you, are you really, really, really willing to change now, by the way?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: These changes, these are horrible changes in your life. I mean, eat and have lunch and cook and be great people and laugh and let people be themselves without judgment.
Are these all things that feel doable?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Great, great, great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. You got this?
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. Great.
Kate: Yeah, I’ve got
Brandy Gillmore: this You to breathe. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Okay. It’s gonna take a real change.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Let’s see. You do this. Okay.
Kate: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Beautiful, beautiful, my dear.
Fantastic job with your energy. I adore you and I’m cheering you on. Take a real change. Thank you. So take your time. Be willing to change. Don’t, this is the thing. Sometimes people wanna rush, rush, rush, rush to change. It doesn’t take a rush. It just takes real change. Yes. So it’s not rushing to change. It’s about making a real change and reprogramming the mind.
Does that make sense?
Kate: Yeah, it does.
Brandy Gillmore: Fantastic, my dear. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you.
Kate: Thank you so much. I, I just so, so much. Thank you.
Brandy Gillmore: You’re welcome. Beautiful. You’re so welcome.
Kate: Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: All right, so let’s go ahead and bring everything together. And first and foremost, I just love her. I love her self-awareness. I love her heart, her self-honesty. I love how much she loves her parents and her family. Just a beautiful, beautiful being. And of course some changes that she’ll really want to make.
And I just, I love her attitude. I love the way she’s showing up. Just beautiful. Now, of course, I also love that she was able to take her pain from about a level seven down to about a 1.3 right in there, so she could see that radical change. Now, of course, it does take a deeper level of change and a follow through to really create the change, but she could see the pieces to come together that need to needing to come together.
To start getting the body to heal itself. And so I love that awareness. Just beautiful and brilliant and she did a fantastic job. Now, a few insights that I want to share with you are, this is first and foremost that might have seemed all over the place because we’re talking about this topic and then this topic and this topic, and that’s part of the reason that healing can feel a bit complex is because of course there are different components.
And the analogy that you hear me use all of the time is this, is that when I was going through my injury. I could see the awareness that stress affects the physical body. I mean, we can see that whether we’re looking at research in psycho neuroimmunology or you know, stress or even, you know, if somebody can have an autoimmune condition that’s flared up by stress.
And so we can definitely see that mind body connection or somebody can die of a broken heart. So you can see that stress affects the physical body, we know that. But if we also look at it objectively, we can see that there are plenty of people who have severe trauma who aren’t physically sick. And the research that I was looking at during my injuries, I was looking at, you know, police officers or people in the military who had suffered severe trauma and they could have PTSD and yet weren’t physically sick.
And I said, well wait a second here. If stress affects the physical body, then you would think they would be very sick. But of course they weren’t necessarily physically sick. And what that helped me to realize from that is I began to create different discoveries and realize that it was the specific combination of emotions that was key.
And a simple way to think about it, the simple analogy that I use all of the time is this, you know, is that if somebody wants to make a cake and they only have flour, well they can’t make a cake. But if they have flour and they mix it with other ingredients such as eggs and butter, or vegan eggs and butter or whatnot, but they have other ingredients, they can make a cake.
And if they mix it with other ingredients or change the ingredients, they make a completely different recipe. And the same is true with the body, and that was a big breakthrough was the awareness that the combination of quote unquote emotional ingredients is key. And so that’s the reason that it felt a bit all over the place is it’s not just stress in general.
It’s really identifying those specific things and then changing those. That is key. So that’s the first insight that I wanted to share with you. Now, the second insight is this, is that she has a lot of feelings of resentment towards her workplace, but she’s in a job that she enjoys now even more. So you would think that that would be better for her health.
But the key problem in this case. Is that she’s speaking poorly about them. That is a key component. Now, the reason that I emphasize this is because so often people will end up speaking poorly about others or other businesses or people or whatnot, and they think it’s not that big of a deal, and they don’t realize that that in itself can be a huge contributor to health issues, to major health issues and problems.
And I see that all of the time. And part of the problem is, is of course, people don’t see it as being such a huge problem. They might see it as venting or being upset about something, so they feel like it’s okay to do and they don’t realize that it is the key component that’s creating a huge problem.
And so of course there are other issues going on as well, but. This is a big piece of that. And so those are the insights that I want to share because so often people overlook that very thing, and it can be a key to creating that radical shift in your life. And of course, releasing patterns at a deeper level is so important.
And so those are the insights from today. Now, by the way, if you are somebody who is new to my work and you want to understand mind body healing at a deeper level, there is a link for a free training in the show notes where you can understand the bigger picture of how it works. So that can helpful, and of course, as always, I want to ask you to please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode.
You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know. Because the more that every single person in our world feels healthy and happy, and loved and loving. The better this world is for all of us, and so please do make a point to hit the share button, and please do make a point to have an incredible rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.
We’ll see you there.
Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are.
If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.
And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind, your incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get resolved this fast on their own.
I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You’ll wanna remember that there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. Us that said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at BrandyGillmore.com slash podcast. And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.
Lastly, please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won’t want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you’ll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.