IQ-159: Uncovering the Layers of People Pleasing & Emotional Patterns

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore. And after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible — the placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy — to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let’s begin.

Going Deeper into People Pleasing and Mind Programming

Hello, and welcome to today’s Quick IQ Episode, where we talk about insights and questions. Today, I want to share with you additional insights on the topic of people pleasing and also on mind programming — and how deeply understanding these can help you transform pain, problems, and illness.

If you think about last week’s episode, I worked with our wonderful volunteer, Peter. As you may recall, we were working on the topic of people pleasing. When we began discussing the idea of no longer people pleasing — of not just pleasing his coworker but doing the right thing with integrity — something interesting happened: his pain went up instead of down.

Of course, we later brought it back down (which I’ll share more about in the next episode), but this reveals something important. People often hear advice like, “Just stop people pleasing,” but when they do, it can actually cause pain or illness to increase. I see this all the time with people on their self-help or spiritual journeys. They recognize they’ve been people pleasing, so they decide to stop — yet their bodies react negatively.

Why Stopping People Pleasing Can Backfire

Let’s look at why that happens, and what to do instead. I want to give you two simple examples that show how this works beneath the surface of the mind.

Example 1: People Pleasing to Feel Loved

Some people people-please because, deep down, they feel not good enough or inferior. Pleasing others becomes their way of getting love and connection. So when they suddenly stop, their subconscious mind can panic — it feels like love will disappear.

Remember, we all need love and connection. Even science shows that loneliness can increase illness and affect physical health. So, when someone stops people pleasing without replacing that lost connection, their subconscious might try to recreate it through illness or emotional pain.

This can happen because the brain remembers old associations. For example, many children are comforted when they’re sick — “Let me kiss your owie and make it better.” That early experience can link illness with love. As adults, when they feel unloved or disconnected, their subconscious may reactivate that old link, thinking, “Illness brings care and attention.”

Of course, this isn’t a conscious choice — it’s subconscious programming. The brain simply replays what it learned long ago to meet an emotional need.

How to Reprogram This Pattern

Instead of simply saying, “I’ll stop people pleasing,” a person needs to replace the need that people pleasing was meeting. That means creating real love and connection in positive, healthy ways — and strengthening inner feelings of self-worth and confidence.

When you genuinely feel good enough as you are and trust that you can receive love simply for being your true self, the need to please others fades naturally. You can connect, give, and love — not from fear, but from authentic joy.

Example 2: People Pleasing from Fear of Abandonment

Another common example is when someone people-pleases to avoid abandonment. They’ve been hurt before, so they subconsciously believe, “If I keep everyone happy, they won’t leave me.”

In this case, if they suddenly stop people pleasing, their subconscious can trigger feelings of fear or panic — the fear of being abandoned again. That fear itself can activate pain or illness, just like we saw with Peter’s episode when his fear increased and so did his pain.

Creating Lasting Change Without Triggering Fear

When you’re making changes, it’s essential to move forward with both courage and compassion. Be brave enough to grow, but also kind enough to meet your inner needs along the way. Make sure you’re giving yourself love, connection, and safety in healthy ways.

When Peter’s pain increased, we shifted his perspective. Instead of imagining confrontation, I asked him to picture speaking with his coworker in a kind, understanding way — where the coworker wouldn’t be upset. Immediately, Peter’s pain decreased. His subconscious felt safe again.

That’s the power of combining growth with emotional harmony.

Understanding the Layers Beneath Change

Whenever I work with people on healing, there are always underlying layers — subconscious links that can be very counterintuitive. So, whenever you’re working with your mind, be mindful of what’s happening beneath the surface. Change should feel supportive, loving, and safe — not harsh or jarring.

Many people, in their enthusiasm to improve, go “all in” on transformation but forget to create balance. They tear away the old pattern without filling the emotional void it leaves behind. That’s like ripping off a bandage without healing the wound underneath.

Key Takeaways

• When changing patterns like people pleasing, replace the emotional need first — don’t just remove the behavior.
• Approach transformation with self-love and patience.
• Recognize the layers beneath your actions — subconscious associations can drive physical symptoms.
• Healing happens when change feels emotionally safe and aligned with love.

As you learn to understand how your mind works and become more aware of your emotions, you’ll create incredible changes — more love, connection, safety, and joy. That deep inner alignment becomes your natural glow, your radiance, and your healing energy.

Closing Message

That’s today’s Quick IQ Episode. As always, please take a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode — share it with someone you love, someone you care about, or even someone you don’t know. Because the more happy, healthy, and empowered each person becomes, the better this world is for all of us.

Please do make a point to have a most wonderful, loving, and joyful rest of your day.

Thank You for Listening

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. People often reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope, touched their hearts, or helped them stay positive during hard times. If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind, please share it with others — because the more empowered people become, the more our world transforms for the better.

The purpose of these demonstrations is to show you that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life — if you truly understand how to use your mind. You are incredible.

Most people won’t get results this fast on their own — I make it look easy because of the discoveries I’ve made. Remember, there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than we often realize.

If you’d like to send me any questions or comments, visit BrandyGillmore.com. And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, if you have any health issues, please continue seeing your doctors — and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you’re capable of with your mind.

Thank you.