IQ-159 Transcript: Uncovering the Layers of People Pleasing & Emotional Patterns

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore. And after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy. to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life. Let's begin.

Hello, and welcome to today's quick IQ episode where we talk about insights and questions. And today I want to share with you additional insights on the topic of people pleasing and also on the topic of mind programming and really seeing depth. in understanding how to program your mind and the underlying triggers that can actually trigger issues with illness and problems or pain.

And the reason that I want to expand on this is if you think about last week's episode, I worked with a beautiful volunteer, Peter, and as you'll recall, we had been working on the topic of people pleasing. And when we started talking about him no longer people pleasing. You know, not being in a state of just pleasing his coworker, but instead not people pleasing, but doing what the right thing and being in good integrity.

When we started talking about that, his pain went up and not down. And of course, afterwards it comes back down, which I'll share with you on the next upcoming episode. But my point is from this is that all of the time on the topic of people pleasing, you'll hear people say things like, well, You know, just stop people pleasing and, you know, don't people please.

And you hear that, but this can cause pain and illness to go up and not down. And I see people do this all of the time because it's like they get on this self help spiritual journey and they start trying to transform. And so they say, well, wait a second. I've been people pleasing and I need to stop doing that.

And so they stop, but it doesn't help. their health, it actually goes the wrong direction. And so on today's episode, I just want to give you two specific examples to help you to see with even more clarity how that is possible and why and what you want to do instead. And so if we look at one example of people pleasing, and looking at people pleasing is where, you know, a person is pleasing others over their own needs or over what they feel like they really should be doing or need to be doing, but they're pleasing somebody else.

They're going out of their way to please somebody else at the detriment to themselves or somebody else or whatnot. So a self sacrifice type of pattern in that they're also, you know, going out of their way to please somebody. Now, in one example, a person may have a pattern of people pleasing because they may feel as though they're not good enough or they're inferior and they don't have another way of getting love and connection.

And so what'll happen is they engage in people pleasing and in people pleasing to get more love and connection. Now the problem is is that let's say that is their primary way of getting love and connection. If they stop, then what ultimately happens is their body may want to create illness because it feels like it's not going to be loved.

And a few ways to think about this, you know, even if we look at the awareness that loneliness can create more illness, or even if we look at the awareness that we all need love, we need love, we need connection. And so what can happen is that if a person feels as though they're not loved when they're feeling lonely.

then ultimately the subconscious mind can start thinking through, you know, its past and think through the past. How can it get love? How can it get love if it's not getting love in this way? And, you know, if you think about a few episodes ago, we talked about, you know, A lot of people can actually have love linked up to sickness.

And one common example, let's say a young child has an owie or a boo boo, and an adult comes and gives a kiss to the owie, just kisses it and makes it better. Maybe you've heard that before. It's like, let me kiss your owie and make it better. Or even at a young age, maybe they get a bunch of nurture for sickness.

So what happens is this, is if a person finds themselves in a place where they're not getting love and connection. their subconscious mind might then say, well, how do I get love? I need love. And it can think back to childhood or illness and think, Oh, well, this is how to do it. Now, of course, this isn't a conscious thought, but that's what can get linked up in the subconscious mind because the subconscious mind needs to meet its needs.

And love is one of those needs. And of course, this doesn't make logical sense. But when something gets linked up in the subconscious mind, the mind acts on it. It's just like if you think about the common example that I use all the time, that unfortunately a cutter who cuts themselves can link up feelings of relief or euphoria or safety or control from cutting themselves.

And of course that doesn't make logical sense, but that gets linked up. And so We have certain needs that we as human being, we need, and love is one of those. And so again, you know, the subconscious mind will go look for how do I get love? And so that can create a problem if a person suddenly feels like they're not going to get love anymore.

And so in this situation where somebody is people pleasing to get love and it can, and connection, and that's what they're doing is people pleasing to get love. What they'd ultimately want to do instead of saying, well, I'm just going to stop people pleasing. They would ultimately want to replace that love and connection in a positive way first.

And so first they'd want to start seeing themselves feeling a sense of love and connection in positive ways. And also of course, make sure they feel like they are good enough. And so bringing in a feeling of feeling. Good enough, feeling confident, and also connecting with others in positive ways and making a point to feel confident that a person can get love and connection just for being themselves, just for being loving and sweet and kind and connecting and not needing to people please and sacrifice themselves to then just please others.

But just getting love for being themselves. And so that's one scenario. And from that, we can see that if a person suddenly feels like they're not going to get love. That can create a problem. So we don't want to just tear away people pleasing. Instead, we want to replace what it's meeting and the need that it's meeting first before we just remove it.

And so that's one scenario. Now, if I give you a second example, and there are so many examples when it comes to people pleasing, but if we look at another scenario, it might be It might be a person who has a strong pattern. You know, they feel like they're always going to be abandoned. So they have the pattern of abandonment.

And what they may do is they may then try people pleasing to then try to compensate for that feeling and the pattern of abandonment. So they're trying to compensate for it. And what can happen is just immediately going into, uh, saying, okay, well, I'm just not going to people please anymore. can trigger a person to suddenly feel a feeling of fear of abandonment even more.

And so what then happens is at a subconscious level, fear increases and that can also increase somebody's pain or illness or problem because of course fear can contribute. And if you think about it, that is exactly what we saw on Peter's episode last week as I was working with him, where his feelings of fear.

Increased and so did his pain. And so we could see that illustrated clearly on last week's episode. And that's exactly my point is that when you're making changes and transformation, that you want to definitely have courage to make the change, you know, courage to step outside of your comfort zone to make a change, but simultaneously, you also want to make sure that you're doing so in a way that meets your needs.

So where you do feel. and connection in positive ways. And so that is key. And now another important thing that this episode really does highlight is just the underlying patterns that every time that I ever work with anybody regarding health and healing, there are always underlying patterns that can be very counterintuitive.

And so As you're working with your mind, you'll always want to make sure to be clear what other changes are going on beneath the surface that you'll want to make sure that you're changing to help you to move towards healing and transformation instead of going backwards. Just because, again, I can't tell you how many times I've seen people get on the spiritual journey and, and, you know, they, they've been gung ho about not people pleasing and they come and see me and I start talking to them and they went on a, you know, gung ho energy of not people pleasing, but they forgot to get love and they forgot to create harmony around it.

So it became more like ripping the bandaid off, which is fine except for the fact that they didn't replace their needs. So it can, it, It wasn't in a way that was making sure that they had love and connection and positivity in healthy ways. And so that's the biggest thing I want to emphasize to you on this episode is a few things is first and foremost is that if you do have a pattern of people pleasing, be kind to yourself, be loving to yourself, and Be aware of what other patterns are there and make sure that you're getting love and connection and safety and you feel good and you're navigating it in a beautiful way.

You know, again, going back to the episode with Peter, notice after his pain went up, When I gave him a different solution, when I gave him a solution that said, what if there's a way that he's not going to be upset with you, basically. So on that episode, basically I said, well, what if you could talk to him and deliver this information to him in a way where he's not going to be upset?

And his pain went down. And so point being is just that we must be aware of subconscious programming. We must make changes in a kind, loving way, or they could backfire. So that is key. The second thing to notice is that no matter what you're working on programming, anything, not just people pleasing, but really any transformations that you're making, you'll want to keep in mind that there are always underlying layers.

And that you want to make sure that you're addressing those layers, if you will, in a positive way. And the beautiful thing is, is as you do, it really, it becomes pivotal. It's just, it's pivotal. It's beautiful. So I know in some ways that this can sound a little complex. I get it. But when you stop and think about it for a moment, you hear me on every episode, you know, one after another, after another, showing people, how to release their pain, how to create changes.

And so my point is, is that the more you learn and understand how your mind works, the more successful you can be at it. So I get that it may sound a little bit complex and also just being willing to learn, having an open mind to learn, to learn yourself, to really tune into what you're feeling. It creates all of the difference because as you understand what you're feeling and you're paying attention to that.

That's when you really just have happiness and love and connection and safety. And it's just, it expands your glow at the deepest level. And that is beautiful. And so that's today's quick IQ episode. And I want to ask you as always, please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode.

You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know because the more happy and healthy that every single person is, The better this world is for all of us. And so please do hit the share button and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, incredible, fantastic rest of your day.

Thank you for listening to heal yourself, change your life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about, or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point. And the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone.

What we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible.

And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.

com slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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