IQ-44: Is It Helpful To *Vent* Or Could It Backfire?

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore. And after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible — the placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy — to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let’s begin.

Hello and welcome! It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here and that you are someone who continues to expand your mind, your energy, and your consciousness. Welcome to today’s Quick IQ episode, where we talk about insights and questions.

The Truth About Venting: Why It Feels Good but Keeps You Stuck

Today, I have a really great question from a listener on the topic of venting. Actually, he asks multiple questions — and this is a topic that so many people wonder about: Is it good to vent? Is it not good? And why does it feel so good?

Here’s his message: “Hi Brandy, could you please consider doing one of your IQ episodes on venting? Sometimes it feels good to blow up or get angry or cry it out or express ourselves about something we’re emotional about — but I’m guessing you would recommend against it? Why does it feel so good? It seems to work, at least temporarily. Why isn’t it the best thing to do? And what do you recommend instead?”

Such great questions — so let’s go ahead and unpack them.

Is Venting a Good Idea?

First and foremost, he’s right — I would not recommend venting. But I also wouldn’t recommend bottling up negative emotions either. If you’ve been doing that, it’s important to know there’s a better way. The key is to understand how to process emotions without feeding negativity or reinforcing painful patterns.

Ultimately, the goal is to transform the actual pattern itself — not suppress it, and not amplify it through venting. And here’s the opportunity: when there’s something you feel the need to vent about, it usually means there’s a lot of emotional energy around it. That means there’s also a lot of potential for growth, transformation, and freedom when you heal it.

Why Venting Feels Good — and Why It Isn’t Good for You

Now let’s talk about why venting feels good. This answer can be complex — it can relate to subconscious patterns of sabotage, love, safety, or connection. But the first thing to remember is this: just because something feels good doesn’t mean it is good.

The Biochemical Side of Venting

I often compare this to the example of someone who self-harms — a “cutter.” When they cut themselves, their body releases endorphins, creating a temporary feeling of relief or euphoria. That doesn’t mean cutting is good — it simply means the body is trying to create balance through chemicals. Similarly, when we vent, our brain can release chemicals that make us feel temporarily relieved or connected — but it’s not healing the root issue.

Sometimes venting creates a sense of connection with others. We feel understood, validated, or even bonded. And because human connection produces powerful biochemical responses, our subconscious mind can link venting with emotional relief. But over time, this wires the brain to seek connection through negativity — which keeps the cycle alive.

How Venting Reinforces Negative Energy

Whatever brings us connection or attention — whether positive or negative — the subconscious mind tends to want more of it. For example, a child who doesn’t get positive attention may misbehave just to feel noticed. The same principle applies to adults: if venting brings connection, the subconscious will continue to create situations to repeat it.

So if you connect with people primarily through venting — even if it feels relieving — your energy will unconsciously attract more of those same situations. That’s why it’s so important to begin creating connection through positive energy instead.

Why Venting Seems to Work (Temporarily)

Venting can feel effective because it provides a temporary sense of release. When you tell someone about your frustrations, it may feel like you’ve let it go — but what’s actually happening is you’ve just shifted the emotion outward for a moment. The energy hasn’t been transformed; it’s just been expressed.

For instance, let’s say someone has an argument with their spouse. They feel angry — and maybe even guilty deep down. They vent to a friend, sharing only their side of the story. The friend validates them: “Oh wow, you’re totally right!” Instantly, they feel better because they feel understood and justified. But that’s not resolution — that’s emotional validation without transformation.

And what happens next? The same emotional pattern repeats — just in a new situation.

Hidden Patterns Behind Venting

Sometimes, venting hides deeper subconscious dynamics. I once worked with a woman who was very successful — but she had a fear of being too visible, too successful, or “too much.” Whenever she was about to hit a new level in her career, she would blow up emotionally — vent, get angry, and then sabotage herself.

Afterward, she’d feel a sense of “relief,” but it wasn’t true healing. It was her subconscious mind protecting her from the very success she was afraid of. So if you feel relief after venting, ask yourself: “What is this really giving me?” Is it connection, validation, attention, or escape from fear? Getting honest about that can lead to real transformation.

What to Do Instead of Venting

So, what do you do instead? First, remember: the goal isn’t to suppress your emotions — it’s to transform them.

Ask yourself: – “Is this something I do regularly?” – “Is there a pattern to what I vent about?” – “What am I getting from this — connection, reassurance, understanding?” – “How can I meet that need in a more empowering way?”

Once you see the deeper pattern, you can begin to change it. If guilt is the trigger, focus on releasing guilt entirely. If it’s about feeling unseen, create new ways to feel acknowledged in positive, loving ways. When you change the root pattern, the emotional charge disappears — and so does the need to vent.

Venting in a Conscious Way

Now, if you ever feel so bottled up that you absolutely need to express something, here’s a healthy alternative. Try saying something like:

“I’ve been feeling upset about this situation, and I’m aware it’s a pattern I want to change. I just want to express it for a moment, release it, and focus on transforming it moving forward.”

That’s a conscious, empowered way to vent — it acknowledges what’s there without feeding the energy of negativity. It shifts from a reactive expression to an intentional release and redirection of energy.

Transforming Patterns and Stepping Into Empowerment

Ultimately, you’ll want to work with your subconscious mind to reprogram the emotion entirely. When you change the neural pathway behind the emotional pattern, you change your automatic reactions — and you feel naturally lighter and freer.

And remember, when you change a pattern that holds a lot of energy — one that you’ve been venting about or struggling with — you create a massive positive ripple in your life. You can experience breakthroughs in happiness, health, relationships, and overall well-being. That’s the true gift inside the challenge.

Expanding Love, Positivity, and Connection

So as you move forward, make it your goal to create connection, expression, and relief through positive energy, not pain. When you do, you’ll find your relationships deepen, your health improves, and your life expands in beautiful ways.

And if this message resonates with you, please share this episode — with someone you love, someone you care about, or even someone you don’t yet know. The more we all step into empowerment, love, and healing, the brighter our collective world becomes.

Closing Message

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. People often reach out and say how much these episodes have touched their heart, given them hope, or awakened them to new levels of awareness about how amazing we truly are.

If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please share it. As more people become empowered, our world transforms for the better. That’s the purpose of this work — to create a radical shift in global consciousness by showing everyone what’s possible through the power of the mind.

And of course, each volunteer I work with needs to follow through to maintain their results. But the real point is for you to see that you can create rapid results in your own health and life when you understand how to use your mind.

You are incredible. And while it might look easy when I demonstrate it, it’s because of the discoveries I’ve made about how the subconscious truly works. Remember, there’s so much more happening beneath the surface than most people realize.

If you’d like to send me a question or comment, visit brandygillmore.com. And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to volunteer for the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, please remember — if you have any health issues, continue seeing your doctors. Just make it your goal to blow their minds with what you’re capable of with yours.

Thank you.