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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and body. Your emotions and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello, and welcome to this. Week's quick IQ episode, where we talk about insights and questions. And today is a really great question from a listener regarding negative conversations. And it's just perfect timing, because if you think about the last few volunteers there's been pain, you know, they've had physical pain and there's also been some.

Conversations or some relationships that have been strained that have been connected to that pain. You know, if you think about Jeanette, there was some, um, you know, concern about family members and, and people around her that there was a lot of frustration towards. And that was connected to her pain. And also Mia, you know, there was some family things going on and that was also connected to some of her pain and issues going on.

And so we can see how much that this topic of negative conversations or, or family or relationships can really impact. Your health, your life, every area. And you know, even if you think about, you know, at this point we have taken one color after another, after another, who's had some type of pain or ailment and help them to use their own mind to shift it.

And when you stop and think about it, a portion of the episodes do have in some way to do. Other people now, of course there are a lot of other things as well and patterns and all of that. So, you know, so many different topics and even the topic of money on the last one or the relationship with self. And so there's a lot of different things come up that are very insightful.

And today's topic is, is again, just perfect timing. And so that said, I'm gonna go ahead and read her email. And it says this. She says, I was wondering whether this might be a suitable subject for an IQ session, how to not get involved or drawn into negative conversations. If someone starts talking about their negative stuff, how do you stop that conversation without seeming that you do not.

If you are on a committee, tough conversations, come up. How do you state, what you feel is the way forward without causing lots of negative repercussions. Thank you so much for considering this hugs. And so I just, so first and foremost, really great question or rather questions. And so there's multiple pieces to this question.

So we are going to unpack this because there's kind of information that's coming in. Universal information. And then also wanting to speak directly to these questions specifically that were asked. And so we are going to cover both of those things. And first starting. She mentions, you know, if someone starts talking about their negative stuff, how do you stop that conversation without seeming that you don't care?

Okay. And so if we specifically speak to this one first really quickly, a lot of times, the thing that I will do is I'll ask them about something else about themselves. You know, so maybe they're talking and you say, oh, you know, what, what about, and you ask them about themselves. In doing so, because you're asking the something else about themselves, then it doesn't feel like you're just hijacking the conversation where you're like, so let's talk about me.

okay. But instead, you know, if they're talking about something, you can use that as a segue, you can say, oh my gosh, by the way, you were talking to me about X, Y, Z the other day, or, oh my God, by the way, did you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever that. But you can use it as a segue to ask them something else about themselves.

And then in that case, a lot of times it can, it's a much smoother transition than if you were to try to suddenly say, well, how about the birds then suddenly they could feel like they're not cared about. So that is one way to do it now, of course. We're gonna talk about more of the energetics as well in a moment.

So we're gonna talk about the energy piece, but that first and foremost is just a practical piece that a lot of times I will use, uh, to, to shift the conversation. Uh, so that's one thing that you could do. Um, now, before we talk about the energy piece, if you will, on it moving forward, um, just to answer this second question, it says, you know, if you are on a C.

Tough conversations come up. How do you state, what you feel is the best way forward without causing a lot of negative repercussions now, for this one, I would say that a lot of times, like if you're on a committee or even if you're just having a tough conversation with a friend or a relationship where you know that you've got to speak to something that might not feel comfortable, kind of the first thing that I would do.

Is, I would either start with the common things, the things that you guys have in common or your intended. Meaning this meaning, let's say that you are having a conversation on that committee, then you would start with, you know, I think both of our outcome is we both have the desired outcome. We both want more this or more.

This, we both wanna make a bigger difference. We both wanna, whatever it is, we both want things to go great. We both want, you know, um, whatever it is. So I would state the common goal or the desired outcome, and that's even. It's in a relationship conversation where you would say, you know, I wanna have a tough conversation with you, but, you know, just to let you know my outcome ahead of time, it's really that we just understand each other even more.

There's more love. I don't want you to feel offended. I don't wanna feel offended. I, I want us to become even closer. That's my hope. I just feel like, you know, if we can understand each other even better, that'll help us to get there. So that said, I wanna talk to you. X Y Z. Right? And then from that place, it's literally like you can diffuse the defensiveness ahead of time.

So that is a huge goal in any tough conversation is I would simply invite you to look at what could be the trigger. What could upset the other person. And then I would see if there's a way to diffuse that ahead of time, meaning this meaning, let's say somebody's having a conversation in a relationship and they say something like this.

Well, honey, I've been meaning to have a conversation with you about something that feels really challenging for me. And it's a sensitive convers. Okay. So let's say somebody starts the conversation like that. Now this person doesn't know if you know, okay, what's happening. Like, are I, am I in trouble? Am I being yelled at?

Is the relationship, you know, did I do something like what's happening? I have to defend, I have to protect. Now. There's so much uncertainty and, and, and all of these things, right. But if you start it with, Hey, you know, this is my outcome. This is where I want to get. Then the person doesn't. Threatened like their safety is gone.

Like they're being rejected, like or abandoned, you know, there's just a lot of different things that, that can diffuse. And not only that, but you have a higher percent chance of getting where it is that you wanna go, because now you've stated your goal on where you wanna go, you know? And, and so point being, is that anything that you can say ahead of time to.

Point out the common places or even point where you wanna get to. Um, and then of course, communicate in a wonderful way is exactly what you'll want to do to have the best possible outcome. And of course, communicating in a respectful way. So that is of course key, you know, where you say, you know, without causing a lot of negative repercussion.

And so that is key as well. And. That speaks to the practical to-do part of this. Now, if we take it to the energetic part, the thing that I would recommend is this is to also when you're in communication with people to become the observer. So if there is a negative conversation, notice what triggers you and why.

And the beautiful thing is. Is this can become like a map if you will like a GPS feedback for you, if you will. And what I mean by that is this, let's say that you're in a conversation and let's say that somebody does disrespect. You okay. Or let's say that there's some type of negative something or other that comes up and you notice that you are feeling a bit triggered then using the example of not respect.

Let's say you're feeling that way. And instead of being reactive, you look at it and you go, oh, well, I've had this pattern of feeling disrespected since, so was six years old. Great. Now from this conversation, you have this insight and you can use it as a self-help tool to say, okay, well, thanks for the awareness on this pattern.

Let me clear that. And. Exactly that. So on the energetic part of it all, I would notice if there are negative conversations, try not to get caught in them, but instead notice where your feelings are, notice what the trigger is, and then see if you notice that it's attached to a pattern. Now, additionally, you also want to make sure.

That you're connecting with the right crowd because all the time, I'll see people who are also trying to force themselves in to be around people who aren't in the same vibe. And, you know, when you stop and look at it for a moment, you know, um, if somebody's hanging out with, and we'll use an extreme example, let's say somebody's hanging out with a bunch of people who are really addicted to drugs, and they're expecting a lot of respect and a lot of, you know, um, honesty and a lot of integrity and a lot of, um, all these wonderful things.

Well, clearly. That's just not gonna happen. And that doesn't mean that you need to judge all these people or anything like that, you know, everybody's got their own challenges and you just kind of go, okay, well, they've got their own challenges. You don't need to judge them. Uh, but you also don't wanna hang out with them in that case.

Now, the reason I used an extreme example like that is because in that one, it's so obvious, like you would think, well, of course, nobody should be hanging out with a bunch of people who. Doing drugs and out of integrity and all these things. Right? So you think of course, right? Those of course aren't people that you probably wanna hang out with.

Okay. Now the thing of it is, is a lot of times that contrast is super clear for people, but there can be other groups of people that you might be hanging out with. That maybe aren't so extremely. Okay, but also maybe aren't your best fit either. Maybe aren't your best, most amazing, wonderful, highest vibration people, meaning this, meaning that, you know, as we continue to grow and evolve and change that.

Sometimes it does require you to make a real change in your social connections. You know, um, using the example, we'll go to back to the example of, of drugs and alcohol and stuff like that. You know, if an alcoholic is going to ever really make a change, they're gonna have to stay away from their drinking buddies and the bar, you know, they're really going to have to make a real shift and that's clear again, you can see.

But taking it to the next level of awareness is that maybe for your next level of growth and transformation, maybe you need to not hang out with some of the people that you are hanging out with. Now, maybe it's time to create that transformation, meaning that let's say using the same example of respect.

Let's say you hang out with a bunch of people who. Just disrespectful and just rude. And that's just, they like being rude or crude or whatever it is. Right. And that's just their vibe and they're not really respectful of other people. They're not respectful of other people's, uh, property or other people's beliefs or other people's things.

And that's just who they are and how they are and using, you know, the same example of respect. Now, let's say that that was a perfect fit for you before, because. You had a pattern of not feeling respected. So it was the perfect vibe, but let's say you took that pattern and you're transforming it. You're really transforming it.

And at that point then maybe it involves you also hanging out with different people, getting a different social circle, you know? And so what I do wanna point out is this is. A lot of times people don't know whether or not they need to make that change in their circle or not. And one of the ways that you can tell, if you do may need to make a change in people, is if that's how they are with others as well.

Meaning this let's say using the exact same example of respect, you know, let's say there's a, there's somebody you're hanging out. Who's not fully respecting you, but seems respectful to other people. Well, in that case, chances are you just wanna really work on changing your pattern inside and then that relationship can shift.

So I see that all the time where, I mean, literally people I work with who have been in 20 year, long relationships or 30 or 40 year long relationships who have said, you know, I'm frustrated about this and this and this happening. And they have some type of pattern. And when they shift it, Their whole relationship shifts.

Like it actually works like using the same example of disrespect. Let's say that somebody shifts that pattern of feeling disrespected and suddenly their partners actually really respecting them. And, and so it's this beautiful thing where they actually transform their relationship by transforming themselves.

And it's beautiful, but let's say using the same scenario that this person is, has a friend. Who's treating them with disrespect and they don't like it. But then they also look at this friend's life and they realize this friend really doesn't respect anybody. This friend is, you know, doesn't respect these people or those people, or blah, blah.

Like there's always kind of talking poorly about everybody. And if that's the case, then chances are. This friend is not gonna respect you. And this friend is probably speaking poorly about you because it's just their nature. And so that's another thing that you'll wanna look at as well. So I know we've talked about so many different pieces and, and the reason being is because, you know, I want you to have something that you can implement from this just.

All of the time, I'll see a few things. I see people release their pain or heal their body by understanding this information in relationships or on the opposite side, I'll see people who will go into spirals and go into negativity and have a lot of wounding that affects their health, affects their life, their relationships, everything.

Okay. So there's that. And. Further, you know, I, I see people when they really, really embody the change.  that they're able to really make incredible shifts. And, you know, there's this woman that I work with, who, you know, I work with on several levels from, we started out with health now it's like a, you know, multimillion dollar business and also, um, relationship stuff.

So it's, it's just life coaching in. And she has literally been able to transform every, every area of, of her life.  watching her in her relationship. I mean, she literally looked at and said, okay, well, what are my patterns? How do I transform them? And her relationship, not only her personal relationship, but her relationship with everybody, with her company, with her friends, with her family.

I mean, just, you know, she just transformed them in the most beautiful way. And I can tell you this. I can tell you that it was a combination for her. And it's a combination for a lot of people that I see on this journey is that there were some friends and some places in her life where she needed to not continue to connect with an old social group.

They weren't good for her. They weren't, you know, that's just who these people were and you can't really change them. So that there's that. And that she started connecting with a new beautiful group and has just literally changed every area of her life and transforming her relationships was a big part of that.

And I would go as far as to say. That if she hadn't transformed her relationships and her social, the people around her, that her level of happiness and success and joy and everything, health, everything, wouldn't be where it is today. And I can tell you, she has a beautiful life. You know, she lives on the east coast and can see the ocean from her house.

She's loved, she's appreciated. She's adored, she's successful. I mean, literally has a dream life and it didn't start out that way. There was a lot of hurts, a lot of upsets, a lot of wounding and stuckness and negativity around her. A lot of it, like it was, it was actually a topic of conversation. When her and I first started was, was really transforming that.

So I know that this can feel like a challenging area of life, but my hope is is that you take something from this and you look at how you can lovingly apply it in your life. And by the way, on that note, even the group of friends that she navigated away. She's still on friendly terms with them. So it's not like she had to say to them, Hey, I'm never talking to you again and, and ended in a negative way with a bunch of resentment and heard and all those things.

She didn't have to do any of that. Okay. It wasn't about that. And you don't wanna do that. You just wanna go, okay, well maybe I need to lovingly migrate away from these people or this person and lovingly migrate. Towards some healthier relationships. So that might be the key as well. And part of the reason that this portion of the topic comes up and just divine timing forward and, and universe is asking for this message to come in is because when you stop and think about the alcoholic or drug group for a moment, you know, the ones that are out of integrity and, and doing a ton of drugs and all these.

when you look at that contrast, it becomes well obvious. It's like you give yourself permission to say, well, of course, I'm not gonna hang out with those people. And it's like, it's so such a big contrast that you give yourself permission to, of course not need to be in that or the alcoholic, you know, of course it's logical, but then in other areas of life, when people are trying to make changes, It's like, they try to stay in the same social group and they tell themselves, oh, I have to stay with these people.

I have to stay around these people. I have to fit in with these people. And maybe may, may maybe, maybe they are your people, or maybe they're not your people, you know, maybe you have other people that you really want to start creating that change with. And by the way, there was that transition for her where she felt like, okay, well, I've got less friends.

Okay. I need to make some new friends  okay. So there, there was that transition for her where she did need to step outside of her comfort zone and actually make some friends and, and connect. And so that might be the case for you. And maybe that old group is just, you know, maybe it's very, very limited amount of time.

Maybe it's just, maybe it's not complete detachment. Maybe it's just, you know, cordial. Nice. And. Minimized. So maybe that's it. But again, bringing it back to what I can tell you is this is that if this is a painful area in your life, I wanna invite you to look at it, to transform it with love, with kindness, not rejecting others, not spitefully, cutting others out, not holding onto resentments or hurts or angers or fault finding none of that, but handling it with love.

and looking at what is real and being honest with yourself and noticing your internal triggers and transforming them. All right. So I know this is a lot of information on relationships, but as you can probably tell, just because I see this come up for a lot of people in a variety of different ways. I want you to have the life that you want.

I want you to feel loved and connected and respected and adored and not feeling. In your relationships. And so on that note, I wanna invite you to please do make a point to share this episode, you know, share it with somebody you love or somebody, you know, who might be going through a challenging time or a lot of hurt, you know, maybe it's exactly what they need to hear right now to give them food for thought in a positive, constructive, To help them get out of the hole or get out of the hurt that they might be feeling.

So please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode, and please do make it a loving, wonderful, fabulous day. You know, the more love, the more joy, the more happiness that we all experience, the better this world will be for all of us. And so on that note, I wish you most wonderful, wonderful rest of your day.

And I look forward to connecting. On the next episode, take it to the next level. I look forward to seeing you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point, and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.