190 Transcript: Healing Your Relationships…to Heal Yourself

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themself of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health yourself and your life. Let's begin.


Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it and I'm just so in love with today's episode. It is beautiful and insightful and our volunteer just, uh, beautiful heart, beautiful self-awareness.

And what I love about today's episode, it really comes down to. Healing relationships to heal yourself and our volunteer. She is experiencing physical pain, has ongoing health issues that she's had for about four years, but you'll notice as she works towards genuinely shifting her relationship and the way she feels in her relationship, her pain also.

Starts to [00:02:00] decrease and change, and her body starts to wanna heal itself. And so that's where we're going on today's episode. And I have to say, there are so many things that I love about today's episode just because, let's be honest. I mean, it would be beautiful if every single relationship was perfect and harmonious and sweet and loving and fantastic for our entire lives.

And the reality of it is, is that we do come into this world many times with. Different patterns that we have to heal and transform and change. And it's part of the beauty of this journey. And of course, getting on the other side of it is, is the real beautiful part, is the gift, is the love, is the joy, the connection, and the healing.

And that's what I love about today's episode is just our volunteer, her self-awareness, her self honesty, the practical insights that come from the episode, just make transforming a relationship. And transforming your health. Just more [00:03:00] tangible. So you can, you can see it, the awareness. And I just, again, there are just so many insights and I just love our volunteer and her transformation.

It's just beautiful. And, and a little bit of a spoiler alert by the way, is that at the end she says, I'm gonna have my husband listen to this. And, and it was just this place of, of reconnection with him. And, and by the way, you know, I mentioned her husband. But the relationship that you may need to heal may have to do with a family member or parent or child, or whomever that might be.

But that's what I love, just the awareness of transforming relationships in a most beautiful way. And so for that reason, I just, I love today's episode. I love our volunteer. She's just, she's precious. She's just beautiful. And so her name is Kat. And let's go ahead and dive in. Here we go.

Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Wonderful. It's great to connect with [00:04:00] you. Likewise, likewise. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. And I know that you need to fill out a form to be on, and I, I have not read your form. So, uh, what can I assist you with? Well, I've, um, I don't know in how much detail we wanna go, but I've been suffering with, uh, physical health problems.

Started four years ago with, um, recurrent UTIs. Um, and then that feeling didn't go away anymore. And then two and a half years ago, cuz of a lot of fear surrounding all of it, um, I got an stomach infection and that then resulted in more fear and lots of doctors and lots of things. Uh, medication, uh, investigations.

And that resulted in it not going away anymore. I don't have the infection anymore, but I have what they call functional dyspepsia, which means there's, there's, uh, I have a lot [00:05:00] of burping, a lot of, um, tightness in the throat. Um, esophagus is not working that well. Um, my stomach is always, um, How do you call it?

Um, squeezing. Mm-hmm. And I started having, after that, uh, a year ago I started having, um, uh, vaginal infections, yeast and everything. And now that pain doesn't go away anymore, so, um, yeah. Okay. And typically there's a burning, um, type sensation. Yeah. And also no, don't have that. I don't have the burning that I don't have.

Great. So, but my greatest, my, my biggest thing now is actually the, the, the, the, the vul burning that I have since one year now. So, and then the, the, yeah, the stomach and and throat thing that's still there as well, so, okay. So gimme one sec. Okay. So you said, uh, this started about four years ago, is that correct?

Yeah, the UTI started four years [00:06:00] ago and then the, the specia started two and a half years ago. And then the VUL. Infections, which now result in like a v burning feeling, um, is about a year ago. Okay. So if I ask you as far as your symptoms regarding the dyspepsia, how long have you had those? Two and a half years.

You said it started one and a half years? Yes. And zero to 10. What's your current level in? Um, I need to know a little bit more about the symptoms. So you don't have the burning, uh, no. The upper level abdo abdominal pain. Do you have, you have tightness or pain or discomfort? It's not really pain, it's discomfort.

Okay. Real quick. It can be, it's in my mouth, which is like a, a pressure or tingling in the window. Bingo. My mouth, that's, that's what I needed. Bingo. That, that was a thing. Okay. What's the level in your mouth? Zero to 10 At the moment it's at, uh, sixth. [00:07:00] Okay, that was what I needed. Thank you. There we go. And that's okay.

That, there we go. So thank you. Gimme one second. All right, so if I ask you how often you find yourself, um, Owen, real quickly, uh, bingo. As far as the vulva pain, what level is that's, uh, burning pain, correct? Yeah. And if I ask you what level is that? Zero to 10 at the moment, also around the six. Okay. Bingo.

There we go. Uh, there's one other thing I need, uh, the level of discomfort, uh, as far as your upper, upper abdomen, what's the level there that's at the moment, not so high. I'd say a, a three. Okay. That's what I would've said about a two, three. Okay. Now I have the pieces. Okay. That's, that's what I needed.

Sorry about that. Um, that's, that's what I needed. All right. So if I ask you how often you find yourself, uh, saying something, uh, maybe even getting upset and then feeling guilty about it. How often would you say that is? Yeah, that it does [00:08:00] happen. I mean, to my kids, for instance. Um, bingo. Yeah. Bingo. And so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe and could you give me the initials of your kids please?

Uh, e n L. Okay. And as far as their father's, uh, first initial, can you gimme his name? H h. Bingo. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and if I ask you, uh, how much anger you have towards H zero to 10, what's your level? Very high. Eight. Eight. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe now. I probably would've said a little bit higher, but we'll go with your level eight.

Okay. And can you see the part of you. That even a lot of times there's, there's a feeling of like intense rage. I'm just pissed. Can you see it? Yes. Okay. So if I ask you, uh, why, do you know why that is? Yeah, I know because I, I feel he, he doesn't, he [00:09:00] doesn't, um, respect me as I, as he should, and he, he doesn't, I mean, he, he's much, he's, he's always thinking about, His own issues.

And like, I mean, for instance, with the vulgar thing, of course we, we hardly have any sexual relationship and, and that annoys him. And, and it's like, okay, but I'm in constant pain, stuff like that. But even before, like, I mean, we've been married for 20, no, we've been together for 23 years. I mean, he's, he's someone, he always says what he thinks and he's very easy, easily angered and he's very, Critical of me.

I mean, it doesn't matter what, he always offloads his stress onto me. And I just have to kind of almost swallow it, you know? And, and there's a lot of, yeah. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Uh, so notice for a moment the part of you who said, I just have to swallow it. [00:10:00] Okay. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe.

And I want you to notice that feeling of feeling like you do have to just take what he says and swallow it. Can you see that? Mm-hmm. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and if I ask you how much it bothers you that he puts his stress on you, what would you say? Yeah. Does bother me quite a lot.

Okay. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, there's a few quick insights that are really important from this. You know, first and foremost, If you feel like somebody's putting their stress on you, you'll wanna make sure and notice on the inside, instead of just blaming them or being upset.

There's a few actions that you'll wanna take. You know, first and foremost, notice if it's triggering you and [00:11:00] why. You know, you'll see coming up. There's a reason that it is triggering her, but that's what you wanna take notice for a moment, is just if somebody's doing that to you. If there's a trigger, because usually that is the case.

Now, another thing that you'll wanna take from this is that if in a relationship you are putting your stress on somebody else, you know you're having stress in life from work or this or that, and you are saying, this stresses me, or that stresses me. You know, you're venting in your relationship. You wanna make sure to notice if you're doing that, because that can.

Ruin a relationship. They can put a lot of weight on a relationship. And all the time I'll see people where they're kind of using their relationship as a bit of a dumping ground for their emotions, for work, for family, for how their mom is doing this or whatnot. And they, they feel like communicating with their partner means telling their partner [00:12:00] everything that's bothering them all of the time instead of.

Genuinely shifting that. And so if that is you in your relationship, then you may wanna be aware of that, of thinking about the energy and the connection that you want in your relationships and what energy would make them flourish and feel connected and fun. Because a lot of times people can lose that.

They say, well, it's my relationship. I'm supposed to say everything that is bothering me all of the time, instead of saying, this is my relationship. How can I add more fun, more love, more joy, more connection? How can I make this a fun partnership where we both feel love and connected and fun and joy and a beautiful, you know, flourishing connection?

And so that's another insight that you may wanna take from this, if that is you in your relationship and. Lastly, if you are somebody who is experiencing [00:13:00] where you're feeling like somebody is always putting their stuff on you, then you'll wanna find nice kind ways. To communicate that that's not what you're wanting.

So you don't end up feeling like you're stuck in a place where you just have to eat it to take it to, you know, take it all in instead, having nice ways to shift the conversation to a better place to say, you know, something like, honey, I know you're absolutely stressed and I hear you and I understand and.

Let's do something that where we can relax and enjoy, or let's connect or let's do this, or let's go. Do you know, something to redirect the relationship and the connection to a more positive place. And of course, if your partner is needing to be heard or whomever it is, whatever, you know, if mother, father, whomever in the relationship that is, if they're wanting to be heard and understood, of course, giving them that, but then making a point to be conscious about.

The energy of the [00:14:00] relationship and how you want the relationship to feel and moving it in that direction, and also in a way that still helps your energy to flourish. And so you wanna do it in a loving, kind way instead of getting upset or triggered. You wanna have easy, fun, loving ways. To redirect the relationship and the communication in a beautiful way.

Now, of course, there is an important key to note from that, and it is this. If your partner's trying to communicate something to you that is important for the relationship, you'll wanna make sure that you're really hearing them as well, because it'll be important for the success of your relationship.

We're a lasting, loving relationship, and so that's where we're going as we step back in with Beautiful Cat. Here we go.

And I'm gonna ask you just for a moment, if it didn't bother you at all, if he wasn't doing that at all and it didn't [00:15:00] bother you at all, how would that change yourself? How would that change you? I, I would be much less stressed, I guess. Much more relaxed. Um, I would, yeah, I would feel. I could, yeah. Breathe again.

I wouldn't have to walk on eggshells the whole time. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you to notice the part of you who feels like you have to walk on eggshells and who feels like he's always stressed and like you, you, he's angry and whatnot. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I also want you to notice the part of you who feels like he's very critical of you, right?

Mm-hmm. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and if I ask you what would you say his main stresses are regarding? Um, well, his main stress is he has a busy job. He ha [00:16:00] and then I'm not contributing as he wants me to. Um, if he, in his view, I'm, I mean, he often tells me, oh, you do nothing all day.

Which is not true. I mean, I look after the kids, I do all I cook, I, I get, you know, I do lots of stuff, but of course I'm not contributing as I was because I'm not in job anymore with all of this. And, you know, the way it feels, our relationship is not what it should be because of the fact that we can't have.

Regular intercourse and you know, so, so I stress him. I mean, his job stresses him. And then he comes home and he feels, I, I stress him. And he says, he's like, he's not like that with other people, just with me. I bring that out of in him. Um, yeah. Okay. Now outta curiosity, if I ask you, if we talk about some things today that could help you to make your relationship better, would you want to change?

Yes. Because I know, of course, I mean, I also have my patterns for sure. [00:17:00] Um, and, and, and, okay. I mean, I can be someone who helped make that change. Great. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe.

All right, so, uh, let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, really, I just wanted to acknowledge what she said right there where she said, yes, she's willing to change. And on top of that, she also added, you know, that she knows that she has her patterns too, and I love that because there are a few things happening here.

First and foremost, she's willing to change. Secondly, she's not 100% blaming him, which is. Really self-aware and beautiful, and she's also not 100% blaming herself either, which is smart because it's not a hundred percent her. You know, the truth of it is, is if I was talking to him, I would be saying the same thing.

I would be saying, look it, this is [00:18:00] your part in it, and can you hear her part? Because they both need to come together. And so that's the way you'll always wanna think about it, is being willing to take 100% responsibility for your 50%, that you don't have to blame the other person, because if you're just blaming them, then you're gonna stay stuck and likely you'll end up attracting the same problem and pattern again and again and again.

You know, but if you're just blaming yourself, that's not what you wanna do either. And so you want both. You wanna be able to create that change together. And so I love her self honesty. I love her self-awareness, just beautiful. And I also love the fact that she's willing to be the first to change. You know, all too often people say, well, I'll change as soon as my husband does, or as soon as my wife does, or as soon as my mother does, or whomever it is.

But she's saying, yes, I'm here because I'm willing to change. And that's [00:19:00] impressive. And so I just love that and wanted to acknowledge it. And that said, let's go ahead and dive back into her beautiful shift. Here we go with Kat.

And so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And if I ask you, by the way, how old your children are, They're 10 and eight. Okay. So if I ask you, so it sounds like he's wanting you to return to work and you're saying that you feeling like you're feeling like you can't, right? Yeah. He wants me to re well, he wants things to be back to normal basically.

And yeah, I can't yet return to work. I do a little bit of work from home, but, um, that's limited. Okay. Because of the pain and because of the discomfort. Okay. And he wants us to have regular intercourse and, okay. Yeah. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Bingo. So let's go this way first. [00:20:00] Okay.

So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And if I ask you first and foremost, do you wanna stay with your husband? Yes. I mean, if we, if we can work this out. Yes. I, I do. I mean, he has his good side as well. Yes, for sure. Great. So if I ask you to think about what you want your relationship to look like and the partnership that you want, and the connection that you want with him, So if I ask you to think about how you really want things to be and what that looks like and how loving and your family and what that looks like for your kids and what that looks like and feels like, what does that look like and feel like?

The feeling of family, the feeling of harmony, the feeling of love, connection. I want you to think about what that looks like for a moment. Now you guys have been married or together over 20 years. If I ask you how long he's been in this place of feeling, uh, angry and critical. How long would you say that is?

The entire [00:21:00] time? Mm. It's built up over the years. I mean, it started when we were together in the beginning, him feeling I wasn't skinny enough, which came up at times, but then it, it became, I guess, worse since we started with the kids. Mm-hmm. I guess. So it's about, yeah, 10 years. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and that's what I would say.

I see about, uh, about nine years, almost 10, somewhere in there. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. So there's a few things. Okay. So you really wanna work this out with him, correct? Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and if you keep all of the anger and pissed off and upset and making him wrong, If I, and, and not liking him and feeling angry and, and rage and all of that.

If you keep all of those emotions towards him mm-hmm. What are the chances that your relationship is gonna work? Yeah. No, I guess, no, it's not going to, right? Mm-hmm. So, square [00:22:00] one, I'm gonna ask you, are you willing to get rid of those emotions to move forward and to, to start moving towards what it is that you're wanting?

Are you willing to do that? Yes. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Okay. That means you would really, really, really have to clean up your side of the street, meaning that, mm-hmm. You'd have to really, really be willing, cause watch this right now, if he suddenly got rid of all of his stress and upset mm-hmm.

How much easier would it be to love him right now? Yeah, a hundred percent easier. A hundred percent. So if you got rid of your upset and anger and stress and pissed off and all of that, and you got rid of that, how much easier would it be to love you? Hmm, maybe, I guess 50%. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you to think about, just for a moment.

So far, zero to 10, how much would you say that the anger, the frustration that pissed off, has been really helpful for your relationship? What would [00:23:00] you say? No. No, 0%. 0%. Okay. So, great. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to brief, and I'm gonna ask you to tell take in the awareness that holding onto it moving forward, it would be 0% helpful.

Yes. Okay. So it's not gonna help you. It's not gonna make you think better. It's not gonna protect you from him. It's not going to serve you. It's not gonna be good for your kids. It's not gonna be good for anything. Right? True. Great. So if I ask you, are you willing to start changing. Yes. Okay, great. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe.

So you're a hundred percent willing to change. Yes. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and your thoughts and your emotions help create your life, right? Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Mm-hmm. Your thoughts and your emotions help create your life. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you to think about the emotions that you wanna have towards your husband and towards your family.

And what that looks like of moving into the new picture, moving back into a [00:24:00] place where you say, oh my gosh, wouldn't it be amazing if your kids are eight and 10 and turning also nine and 11 and, and watching them grow, and you and your husband are so connected and loving and laughing and wonderful and harmonious, and it's like you got things back on track.

How would that feel to you? That would be, I mean, dream come true. Dream come true. Great. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And taking that feeling, all change starts from within, right? Yeah. A hundred, a hundred percent. So all change starts from within. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. All change starts from within.

So you see yourself loving and happy and connecting. Loving and happy, and safe, and connecting, and loving and feeling good. And your husband is just being sweet and lovely and wonderful, and it's really sweet. And I'm gonna ask you to breathe and take that in, and that you're willing to change. You have zero anger, zero upset, zero pissed off.

You're actually starting to see the good in him, and you see it, and it's more, it's showing up more and more and more. [00:25:00] And by the way, if I ask you, does he have a lot of good in him? He does. He does. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. All right. So I'm gonna ask you to notice the level of pain in the vva zero to 10.

What's your level? Mm four. Four. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe bingo. And I would've said, yep. I would've said even closer to maybe the three point, uh, 3.2 is what I have. It's about 3.2, but right in there. So you, you notice it's going down some, right? Mm-hmm. Great. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe.

All right, so I wanna go ahead and actually pause the session right here. And you know, first and foremost, I love her self honesty. I love her self-awareness. And she's already got her pain down from about a six to a level four. So it's already down a third of the way, and the message that her body is giving to her, Is to be willing to change.

And I love her willingness to change, by [00:26:00] the way, where she's saying, you know, I'm, I'm willing to change. I'm willing to let go of the negative. And that's the reason that I wanna go ahead and pause the session right here is because all of the time people will have that hurt or that frustration or upset or blame in a relationship, and they don't really want to change themselves.

All they wanna do is the other person to change. They want their husband to change, their mother to change their. Sibling to change whomever it is, but they want somebody else to change. And what I love about Kat is she's here saying, look it, I'm willing to change. And so I love that. And you know, another thing that I love is that our bodies, when we have health issues, you know, they really are always giving us a message.

To live a better life. And sometimes that's towards a relationship or a career or wounding or you know, just something that makes life better. And that's what I love about her situation right here is you [00:27:00] can see that as she genuinely changes, not only does it heal her body, but it also becomes life changing.

There's a gift in it. And so I love that and I love this shift. Now, the other thing that I really love is you can see. Is it all of the time people will get into, you know, our thoughts help create our lives and manifesting and, and they'll create a vision, and then they just kind of sit and wait for it to come to fruition.

And as you can see, as I'm working with Kat, yes, we're talking about her having this beautiful vision that's her dream. And we're also talking about her genuinely changing. To be able to manifest that into her reality. So we're not just saying, well, here's your vision. Just picture it coming to fruition, and there's nothing you need to do.

And that's what a lot of people unfortunately do is they'll hear about law of attraction or manifesting or whatnot, and they just create a vision and they're just waiting for it to come to fruition instead of [00:28:00] realizing. That the vision is part of it, but there's a transformational process that needs to take place underneath it where you're really changing self.

And that's what I love about her willingness to change. And so that's the reason that I wanna go ahead and pause the session right here is because there are some really powerful insights coming up. As Kat and I proceed and dive even further into it, and there's already been some really powerful insights.

So I wanted to just break it into, to allow you time to digest the information. That said, there are a few insights that you could apply from this episode into your own life. You know, first and foremost, maybe that might be looking at a relationship that has been off and being willing to start the change inside of you.

You know, all of the time people want the other person to change first, but as we notice, as I'm talking with Kat, she's willing to let go of her negative feelings, to be [00:29:00] willing to go after the vision that she wants. And I would invite you to look at that very thing in your life. Could you create a vision for the relationship that you wanna heal?

You know, maybe it is your partnership or your marriage, maybe it is a family member, but I wanna invite you to look at the vision that you would want for that relationship, and then look at the changes that you need to make inside of yourself. And be willing to embrace those changes. And so that's one thing, or some of the insights that we had talked about earlier.

Did you know if you are using your relationship as a bit of a venting ground to vent all of your emotions and negativities, then maybe that's something that you're willing to change. Or if your partner's doing that or your person in your relationship's doing that, then noticing what you could do. To really create that shift, to give them the understanding and also make sure that you're creating a healthy, happy [00:30:00] relationship and connection.

All right, so that said, again, so many insights from this episode and there are even more coming up on the second part. Of this session, which we'll dive into next week. And so in the meantime, again, I wanna invite you to look at these insights. And I also wanna ask you to please do hit the share button on this episode.

You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or maybe somebody who you are working on repairing a relationship with. You know, maybe you share this with them. And maybe it becomes a process you both do together. So food for thought. But either way, please do make a point to hit the share button and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, fantastic rest of your day because the more happy and healthy and loving.

That every single person is in our world, the better this world is for all of us. And so please do enjoy, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you [00:31:00] there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself Change. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your [00:34:00] mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on [00:35:00] in our minds at a deeper level than people. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my [email protected] slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.

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