Quick IQ Episode: The Optimist Pattern That Keeps You Stuck
Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible — the placebo is proof of this.
Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.
Let’s begin.
Hello, and welcome to this week’s Quick IQ episode — where we talk about insights and questions. Today, I want to share with you a very powerful insight that keeps a lot of people stuck. This pattern can also be an optimist pattern, and it can show up in your life in ways you may not even realize. It’s actually quite common — maybe you’ve seen it in your spouse, your work, or even in yourself — but it can quietly keep people from getting the results they truly want.
It can also create a lot of chaos in relationships, or even just in your own mind. So, I want to give you a ridiculous, silly analogy to help you see this pattern clearly — because as I describe it, you may recognize it in yourself or someone you know. And that’s exactly my point in sharing it.
A Silly Analogy with a Big Message
By the way, part of the reason I’m sharing this particular insight today is because a client recently emailed me about it — and we were laughing about her awareness and realization. So here’s the simple analogy:
Imagine for a moment that a husband is getting the kids ready for school. Normally, this is the wife’s role — not that it’s her “job,” but let’s say that’s usually what she does. One morning she says, “Hey honey, can you do it today? I have some things I need to get done.”
So, the husband changes his work schedule, gets up early, wakes up the kids on time, makes breakfast, packs their lunches — he does all the things — and takes them to school. But when the wife sees them, she’s upset and says, “Wait a second… the kids are still in their pajamas!”
The husband responds, “But I did everything! I got them up, made breakfast, packed their lunches, took them to school on time!”
And she replies, “Yes, but they can’t go to school in their pajamas.”
Now, what’s the point of this story? It’s that a lot of times people fall into what I call an optimist-victim pattern. They look at all the things they did do — and they don’t want to look at the one important thing they’re overlooking that’s actually keeping them from success or healing.
Seeing the Blind Spot
Like the husband, people often say, “But I did this, and I did this, and I did that,” and they defend what they’ve done — instead of looking at what they’re not doing. And that single blind spot can keep them stuck from experiencing real growth or transformation.
This is exactly what happened with my client. In her email, she wrote something that made me laugh out loud. We were talking about her following through on specific action steps, and when I asked how it felt to her, she said — and I’m summarizing here — “I feel like I made the kids’ lunches… but I guess they’re naked at school again.”
I loved her awareness! She realized, “Oh, I was so focused on everything I was doing that I didn’t notice the thing I wasn’t doing — the piece I was overlooking that really mattered.”
How This Pattern Keeps You Stuck
Think about this silly analogy for a moment, because it shows up everywhere — even in relationships or at work. People often get defensive and say, “But I did this, I did that,” while their partner or boss is saying, “Yes, but you’re not doing this.”
The optimist mind tends to look at what it’s doing right — and it doesn’t want to face what it’s missing. But the beautiful thing is, once you become aware of it, you can change it.
That’s what I loved about my client’s response. Her awareness was lighthearted, but powerful. She saw it clearly and said, “Oh, I guess the kids went to school naked — let me fix that!” That’s the kind of honest self-awareness that leads to real transformation.
Sometimes, the change you really want in your life — whether it’s in your health, your relationship, or your happiness — comes down to one key thing you’re overlooking. And that piece is often the one your mind doesn’t want to look at.
Looking at What You Might Be Overlooking
If we’re really honest with ourselves, sometimes the changes we most want to make in life are the ones we’re unconsciously avoiding. It might be that core piece — the one that feels uncomfortable to face — that actually holds the key to your transformation.
So, I want to invite you to ask yourself: Is there something I’m overlooking? Is there something creating tension, pain, or imbalance in your life — whether in your health, your happiness, your marriage, or your work — that you could begin to address right now? Because if you decided to change it, it could make your life so much better.
And when you ask yourself that question, don’t be critical or harsh with yourself. This isn’t about guilt or self-blame. It’s about awareness and empowerment. It’s about looking at what you can shift — even in small, consistent ways — to create the results you truly want.
Small Shifts Create Big Changes
Maybe what you’re overlooking is something as simple as not spending enough time with your loved ones. Maybe you’ve realized that you’re not fully present with your kids or your spouse, and deep down you know that would bring more love and joy into your life.
If that’s the case, you could say to yourself, “From now on, I’m going to spend an extra hour each week truly connecting.” That small shift can open your heart and change your energy in powerful ways.
Or maybe you’re doing everything “right” — you’re working hard, taking care of the household, handling all the tasks — but you’re doing it with frustration or resentment. I’ve seen this often. People are doing all the things, but from a place of anger or exhaustion, which actually pushes love away rather than attracting it.
Sometimes, people tell me, “I do everything for my family — the laundry, the cooking, the errands — and I’m not appreciated.” But what they don’t realize is that their energy while doing those things is filled with resentment. And that energy is felt by others. So even though their actions are loving, their vibration is sending the opposite message.
When you shift that underlying energy — when you start doing things from a place of love, joy, and connection — everything changes. Love flows more freely. Appreciation grows naturally. And the emotional and physical healing that follows can be profound.
Patterns Hidden in Plain Sight
Sometimes the thing we’re overlooking is emotional — a hurt or resentment that’s quietly running in the background. And often, that’s the very thing affecting our health and happiness the most.
For example, in one of my volunteer coaching episodes, I worked with a beautiful soul who was having issues with her eyesight. As we explored what her mind and energy were really holding onto, she was amazed. She said, “I never would have guessed it was that!”
That’s something I hear all the time. People discover that the true cause of their pain or health issue was the last thing they would have thought of. That’s why awareness is so powerful — because what you can’t see, you can’t change.
So, I want to encourage you to gently look at what your mind might be defending. Ask yourself: “Where do I feel resistance to looking deeper?” Often, that’s exactly where your next level of growth and freedom is waiting.
Turning Awareness into Empowerment
This may seem like a small insight, but small insights can create massive transformation when we apply them with consistency. Sometimes it’s that one missing puzzle piece that allows everything else to finally fall into place.
When you make even a small change — a shift in perspective, a decision to address something you’ve been avoiding, or a choice to act with more love — it can start a ripple effect that changes your entire life.
So take a moment today to ask yourself: What’s one small change I can make right now that would help me grow, heal, or connect more deeply? You might be surprised by the clarity and power that come from simply being willing to look.
Share the Light
That brings us to the end of today’s Quick IQ episode. If this insight resonated with you, please take a quick moment to share it — with someone you love, someone you care about, or even someone you don’t know personally. Because the more we help others become empowered, happy, and healthy, the better this world becomes for all of us.
And if you’d like to see these principles in action — watch the videos where I work with people to help them release physical pain using only their mind. It’s truly mind-blowing what we are all capable of when we understand how to harness our own inner power.
So please, hit that share button, and make a point to have the most wonderful, happy, healthy, and loving rest of your day. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.
We’ll see you there.
Closing Message
Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. I can’t tell you how many people reach out and share how much these episodes have touched their hearts, given them hope, or helped them stay positive during hard times — or even opened them to a new level of awareness about how amazing we truly are.
If today’s episode inspired you, please share it with those you care about — or those who need a little light and encouragement. The more people become empowered, the more our world transforms for the better.
That’s truly the purpose behind these demonstrations — to help create a radical shift in our global consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.
And remember, each volunteer I work with must follow through to reinforce their new mind programming and maintain their results — and the same is true for all of us. The point is to see that you can create rapid results in your health and your life when you understand how to use your mind.
You are incredible. Truly.
And I want to be clear — most people won’t get results this fast on their own. I make it look easy because of the discoveries I’ve made, but there’s much more going on in our minds at deeper levels than most people realize.
If you’d like to send me questions or comments, you can visit me at BrandyGillmore.com. And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.
Lastly, please remember — if you have any health issues, continue to see your doctors. Make it your goal to blow their minds with what you’re capable of with your mind.
Thank you for listening, and have a beautiful, empowered day.
