199 Transcript: Letting Go Of Self-Blame and Healing Your Inner Critic For Improved Health and Happiness

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

Click here to listen to episode199

Please note: These are computer generated transcripts of the Heal Yourself, Change Your Life Podcast Episodes. If you have any questions or need assistance, please reach out to us at [email protected]

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themself of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health yourself and your life. Let's begin.

 

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I love today's episode. You know, So often people can have a tendency to beat themselves up or blame themselves or be hard on themselves and then it can attract a variety of different emotions or circumstances or health issues and it it can be linked at a core level and so that's part of what we're going to unpack today is exactly that and you know, I know that even in going through my own injury I got to a point where I was beating myself up because I was just, I was injured.

I felt like everything that I [00:02:00] had been proud of, you know, I was proud of the work that I did at the time and I felt good about that, you know, network engineering and operations and I felt great in my job and I loved what I did and also being outgoing and being athletic and all of these things. But then, once I was injured.

I felt like I was just a mess. I felt like all of the things that had made me feel good about myself were gone. And so then in that place, I really had to learn how to pick myself back up. And it's like, once you start beating yourself up, especially if you've had a pattern of it, It can just end up in a spiral.

And so whether it's a pattern that starts in childhood or if it's a pattern because of a place you end up in life and you're injured or you're off or whatnot, it's like, um, getting out of that spiral. And being willing to change is so important. And so that's part of where we're going today. [00:03:00] And in today's episode, we're working with Barbara again.

And if you recall, I had worked with her last week and the session was long. The session was about an hour in length, somewhere in there. So I've cut it up into a couple different segments. And so we listened to the first segment last week and just so many insights about not. Avoiding negativity, but really being willing to change it, to diffuse it, to eradicate it.

And that's another part of where we're going today. They're just really important, key insights for making a change, you know, changing your health, changing your life. And as we dive in with Barbara. There's kind of a few notes from last week. She's got some jaw pain and neck pain, and then also some back pain.

So there's multiple places and she's been starting to work on that and get it down. And as we dive back in, she'll be working to release the rest of her jaw pain, her neck pain, her back pain. So [00:04:00] that's where we're going as we step back in with beautiful Barbara. Here we go.

So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Okay, and I want you to notice the part of you that thinks that I don't want you to go there. Can you see that? No, you want me to find it boring. Bingo. Okay. Yeah, so, uh, so come with me. Come with me. And I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to just not think.

Oh. That's a hard thing for me not to do. Uh huh. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Okay, no thinking. Bingo. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment. If I ask you the level of feeling a bit defensive in the past week, zero to 10, what level would you say? Oh, in the past week, uh, hasn't been so bad in the last week, actually.

Zero 10. What level [00:05:00] would you say a zero to 10 defensive? It's probably on, off. Let's five. Okay. So I would've said a level about, yeah, I would've said about a six. So right in there. Okay. So we're, we're right. We're right there. Okay. Yep. Now, If I asked you the week before, what would you say? Now my, now my memory is coming to a test.

Um, definitely worse. Um, I can't really, I can't remember anything specific, but I remember that the last week has been good, and the week before wasn't. So probably a lot, a lot worse. But it doesn't take a lot for me to get defensive. Definitely doesn't. Maybe. Bingo. So that's, that's the word that I was calling a bit headstrong.

So I was trying to, so, so we'll, we'll work with that as defensive. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Um, all right. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe and I want you to think about how many people are attacking you in your life. How often do people [00:06:00] attack you? Maybe tease me a little, the boys in my life, but attack, not so much.

How often do they attack you? No, not, not at all. What? They don't attack me at all. Okay, and how does the defensive go for you? Oh, definitely does not go well for me. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I want you to notice, I would agree the last week's been mild compared. I would say the week before that was, you know, significantly higher.

Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and what is next week going to look like? Perfect. Should we go with that? Okay. I like it. I like it. There we go. Now we're vibing. All right. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, how are you going to get there? Are you going to change? Are you willing to change?

Are you willing to get there? A hundred percent there. I'm a hundred percent willing to [00:07:00] get there. Great. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice the part of you that feels a need to defend yourself. Right? Yeah. It's, it's because. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now watch this. I want to show you something. So if you said to me, do you notice a part that needs to defend yourself? And I say, yeah, and it's because, so if I, as soon as I go into it's because am I strengthening it at all? I'm supporting it. I'm validating it. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Cause if you explain things and you explain things that it's validating it. Yeah. You're right. So the thing of it is, though, is it to be able to get results in a short period of time. We can't do much validation, right? Okay. Okay. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And do you want to validate it?

I don't want to validate it any longer. No, Anja, no. I don't want [00:08:00] to. Anja, validate it. I really do not feel I'm validating it any longer. There you go. Great, great, great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Now, I'm going to ask you also a favor. Whenever I go to interrupt, if you could let me interrupt faster, that would be really great.

Okay. Great. Thank you. Thank you. All right. So, uh, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe because the thing of it is, is I'm going to mention triggers of what things are, we're going to bring them up and then I need to interrupt them more because that's part of the thing is I need, I need to get my footing to get my, my, my, uh, angle.

To be able to create the shift, and uh, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And I think you should just go ahead and be defensive. I mean, when you see somebody walking around who's really defensive, do you ever think, oh my gosh, that's so amazing, I wish I was like that? Do you ever do that? No. No? So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe.

Now, I want you to think about, let's be honest. If I ask you how smart you are, what would you say? I [00:09:00] would say smart. so too. I would say very smart. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And if I ask you how much you want to walk around and being smart, what would you say? For sure. For sure.

Great, great, great. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you how much you want to walk around and be defensive, what would you say? Not at all. Not at all. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I'm gonna ask you to think about the awareness. You have a lot of great qualities.

You're smart. You have a great heart. I can see that, and I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and I would say defensive is not your best quality. And so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I want you to notice, so watch this, is if I said I'm defensive at a level 6 this week, and last week a 12, and the week before that a level 50, if I ask you, how well is it going as I defend myself?

Works pretty great, doesn't it? Nope. Oh, wait a second. Being defensive [00:10:00] just brings in more of the same, more of the same, more of the same, more of the same, more of the same? Yeah. So when do I win at this game? When you stop being defensive. Right. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And by the way, if I ask you how often you feel like the men in your life pick on you a bit, what would you say?

Yeah, for fun. Teasing. Yeah. And if I ask you, how does that feel to you? Sometimes it's funny and sometimes it's not. Yeah. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, if you completely ignored them and there was no rise at all out of you, Ah, fun. Do you think it would be? It would stop. Well, I think it would. Uh huh.

I would agree. I would agree. But when do you want to do that? I think now is a good time. Yeah, I think so too. So I'm going to ask you for a moment to breathe. [00:11:00] And I'm going to ask you, oh, I'm going to go ahead and blame you. I'm going to pick on you. I'm going to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And I want you to notice any feeling of needing to defend and who cares? Who cares? You just don't have that anymore. You're not going to get stuck in the pattern, the pattern, the pattern, the pattern, the pattern. You know how patterns go. And then I'm going to say this. Go ahead and feed your pattern. Go ahead.

Go ahead and feed your pattern. Let me know how that goes for you. You want to? No. What? No, I don't want, I don't want to feed it, no. Great, so I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I'm going to say that again. No, go ahead and feed your defensive pattern. When's it going to stop? Like five years from now? Ten years from now?

When is, when is that going to stop? Well, again, I would say now. Great, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. Bingo. All right, I want you to notice the level in your jaw. Zero to ten, what's your level? I think the jaw is, is pretty much, pretty much gone. [00:12:00] Uh, there's still some left in, in the back, in the neck, up by the head, but in the jaw, no.

So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Bingo. And if I ask you how much sometimes you feel like people are saying things behind your back, what would you say?

Actually, not so much. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to feel into it. There's about a level three of feeling like people, okay, so kind of like this, earlier you mentioned with Elle, you feel like she blames you, but doesn't actually blame you, but you feel like she blames you, but she doesn't actually blame you.

Probably more felt. I don't feel it as much anymore. She's been, she's been really good. She's been, she's older, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you just for a moment to breathe. So I want you to notice the feeling that I want. [00:13:00] Yeah. Yeah. I can definitely feel it. Yes. Yes, I would say the feeling is still there about a level 8, 9.

Can you see it? Yeah, if I go to it. Yeah. Yep, yep. Good. Good awareness. Good awareness. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe.

Alright, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, she's just lovely. She's wonderful. And she's getting there. She's getting there. She's noticing to check in with her emotions and that is key. And by the way, that was something that I struggled with on my own journey was, you know, I was just very much in my head.

I was in technology and, and for me, that was a very heady experience. And so I was not in touch with my emotions really at all. And so I love that you can see the same with her. She's very much in her head and. It's getting better and it's just beautiful watching her do that and notice [00:14:00] how she feels. So amazing job, beautiful, beautiful.

And that's what you also want to do in your own life is because let's be honest, we've all heard before that emotions are not logical and they're not. And so we can feel something that may not necessarily be logical, which is exactly what's happening here, but if we have the feeling of it. It can still impact us.

So that's one insight that I want you to take from this. Now, another thing is, and by the way, notice she's shifting. She's actually shifting. She's getting rid of her pain. She's getting rid of her jaw pain. So she's doing that, which is beautiful. Now, another thing that I want you to notice is not validating the emotions.

And earlier I asked her, I said, you know, if I'm trying to interrupt you, I need you to let me interrupt sooner. And that's because, you'll hear me on all these episodes, I'm always interrupting, and that's because, if you're validating information. Instead [00:15:00] of resolving the problem, it's just going to perpetuate the problem.

And so we're going to unpack this further because there's more on this, not only about validating the problem, but also about validating reasons to beat yourself up, or be hard on yourself, and validate that. So that's another thing that you want to make sure. Not to validate. And so that is part of where we're going.

Now, really quickly, just a refresher. I mentioned Elle and Elle is her daughter. And so that's who that person was, is that feeling of blame and or feeling blamed. And so that's, that's, it's that feeling. And again, she's got a great relationship with her, but there's still these underlying feelings. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with beautiful Barbara.

Here we go.

I'm gonna ask you to breathe, I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to [00:16:00] notice that feeling on the inside. And what if nobody's actually blaming you behind your back, nobody's, like, that feeling is just so old, I mean, how many, how long are you gonna hold on to that for, are you ready to let it go?

Yeah, I would love to let it go. Smart woman, smart woman, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Alright, level of pain in your neck, 0 to 10? Still around a 7. Bingo, give me one second. Um, bingo, can you give me the, can you give me the exact location of it? Uh, can you describe the location? Oh yeah, yeah, it's, it's the upper part of the neck that just where it connects to the cranium.

Bingo, I got you, okay, I saw it was lower. Uh, bingo, that's what I have is actually about 7, 7, 8 right there. Alright, so, um. Give me one second. All right, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you to notice the part of you who's [00:17:00] felt like you were being blamed for things, and I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and that's so boring, isn't it?

It's boring, right? Oh, it's, it's boring, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like watching the same movie like 700 times. After a while, it's just boring, right? Especially when it's a movie you don't even like. It's just boring. Right? It's really, really boring. Yeah. It's really boring. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

And now I want you to notice the part of you on the inside that feels like you did actually do something. That you did actually do something wrong, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can you see that feeling? Can you find that feeling? Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Very much. Yes. Yeah. And are you, are you done with that? Are you bored with that one too?

Yes, I am bored with that one. It's great. Yeah.

All right. So, uh, let's go ahead and pause the session right here. [00:18:00] Notice for a moment, as far as beating herself up or feeling like it's her fault, there's a couple things that you're going to want to notice, you know, first and foremost, she's had this feeling that people are picking on her or blaming her.

And it's a hurtful feeling, it's an upset feeling, and notice we've been talking about the feeling of defensive. So there's a lot of her defending, defending, offending, and all of these emotions are affecting her health. And notice. The underlying feeling inside that there's part of her who really feels like it is her fault.

And so that's what I'll see happen all of the time where somebody can inside, they feel guilty. They feel like it's their fault. They feel like something is wrong. And then on the outside, they're defending their hurts. They're upset and it becomes this whole spiral of emotions. And so for that reason, I know this is a short episode, but I actually want to go ahead and pause the episode right here because all too often I'll see people who are working on healing [00:19:00] themselves and changing their life.

And they have this blame thing of feeling bad about self, you know, as I mentioned in the very beginning, I had my own version of it with my injury and. I'll just not feeling good about myself of, you know, of beating myself up for where I was in life, et cetera, et cetera. And so that's what I want to do is I want to take just a moment and pause the session.

And we'll go ahead and finish out the last little bit of the session next week, because that has its own powerful insights to it. I want to invite you. To take a moment and take this in for yourself, to look at this in your life, to notice if there's a part of you who's been beating yourself up, who's been validating the beating self up.

So that's part of what we've been talking about in this episode. Also is it, you know, you know, interrupting her because as soon as. You know, as soon as she says something, she's been validating it. She says something, she validates it. She says something, she validates it. And so if there's been a part of you who's been beating yourself [00:20:00] up and validating it for any reason, relationship, work, business, kids, imperfections, et cetera, et cetera, whatever it is, I want to invite you.

to be willing to look at it in a different way and decide that you're not going to beat yourself up anymore. Decide that you're going to lift yourself, decide that you're going to do things in a different way. So that's where I want to leave today's episode. And next week we'll go ahead and finish the rest and notice by the way, she has been releasing her pain.

So she's doing a great job there and just acknowledging her and she's shifting. And it's beautiful. And I want to invite you to do the same. And I also want to ask you to please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode, you know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and loving that every single person is in our world, the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do make a [00:21:00] point to hit. the share button on this episode, and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, happy, fantastic, loving rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself Change. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your [00:34:00] mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on [00:35:00] in our minds at a deeper level than people. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my [email protected] slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.

Are you ready to learn how to do this?

Heal Yourself, Change Your Life

From Illness To Wellness: 4 Easy Steps To Transform Your Health & Life With The GIFT Healing Method™

In this course Brandy shares the exact things she did to heal (even when doctors told her there was nothing more she could do) so you too can be empowered with tools and techniques to heal yourself and change your life. Click here to learn more.

Share This Eposide
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
WhatsApp
Email

Note: If you are hearing or sight impaired or have any other medical issues that would inhibit you from fully accessing the podcast, please reach out to our team at [email protected] and we will be happy to assist you.  

Also, please remember that genuine change and follow through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor.

Instead, your goal with self-healing should be to continue to see your doctor as recommended and blow their mind with what you are capable of with your mind and with the power of mind-body healing.  Please enjoy this self-healing podcast!