210 Transcript: Invaluable Insights We Can Learn From Other People’s Mistakes

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. That changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And, you know, each episode is just so different and that is very true for today's episode. You know, as we dive in with our volunteer today, you'll notice that she is in the process of making some pretty big mistakes in her life and lacking some good judgment.

And let's be honest, we've all made some type of mistake in our past, and maybe it's obviously not the one that our volunteer is currently making, but even so, there are just so many different insights that. You'll be able to take from today's episode that can help you to uplevel your health, your happiness, your life, and yourself.

And so I love that about today's episode. Also, something else you'll notice from this session that I have with this beautiful volunteer is that. Sometimes in life we can get sucked into places or doing something by justifying it, or even, you know, in her situation, there's justifying and there's also a man who's giving her false information and gaslighting.

And, and so of course we don't want to get stuck in a place of blame. All of us are responsible for our own actions, our own behavior. But we also want to make sure that we're not getting sucked into that place of justifying and, you know, just looking at life itself, you know, let's be honest. There's all this stuff about news and fake news and what can you really believe?

And even videos where people are now able to edit and change videos. I mean, more and more. We are going to need to be able to rely on our own intuition, our own self awareness, our own sense of, you know, logic. Also, what makes sense? You know, even if you think about it, even on these episodes where I'm working with people with their mind, that's the reason that I always want to bring in logic as well.

So everything makes sense because let's be honest, healing with the mind does sound Esoteric, and you can't necessarily see energy and emotions and, but you also can see evidence of it. And that's the reason that every time I work with anybody, I like to also bring in the practical side, the logical, so you can see it.

You know, even if you think about for a moment, all of the time on episodes, you'll notice people who are releasing pain and able to do that. Now, To make sure to show that, I've done that under medical equipment also. So you can see evidence of it. So it becomes practical and you could say, okay, wait a second.

This sounds far outside the box, but I can see it happening. Or even if you think about, talk about, you know, emotions breed more of the same. Or patterns breed more of the same. And all the time I'll use the example of the woman who unfortunately has the abusive father who leaves him and finds the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et cetera, you know, that pattern continues.

And the reason that you'll hear me use that example over and over and over is because I always want to make the information expansive, but also Grounded. So it makes logical sense to you. And even if we think about patterns breeding more of the same, you know, so I'll mention that's from psychology and we could use multiple different theories in psychology, we could look at attachment theory, which is where people will tend to marry somebody like.

a caregiver or a father, mother, et cetera, you know, that form of repetition, or even we can take in the theory reenactments or even repetition compulsion. And that's from Freud's work, you know, Sigmund Freud back in the early to mid 1900s. And so point being is that we can see evidence of this information woven throughout history.

That patterns tend to repeat themselves and most people have started to see some patterns maybe and you've probably noticed some patterns in your life by this point, but point being is that we can see evidence of this information. So it becomes very practical or even if you think about past episodes where we're working with the mind and emotions to heal the body.

And we make it very practical where, you know, I might work with different emotions. What emotion is impacting the body? And that different emotions impact the body in different ways. And we can see that is practical. Also, if we think about somebody who's embarrassed and their face turns red, or panic attack, you know, racing heart, shortness of breath, or a sexual thought.

affects the body with sexual arousal. And so point being is that we can see different emotions affect the body very differently. And so we can look at all of this in a practical way. And if we even build on that, you know, it wouldn't make sense if we say, well, these three emotions affect the physical body and the rest of the emotions, they don't affect our physical body at all.

Well, that doesn't really make logical sense, especially when we know that stress affects the body. We've heard that a million times, or we know that the widowhood effect, you know, a senior can lose a spouse and have a much higher rate of death following their loss. And so we can see with practical evidence and logic that our thoughts help create our lives.

We can see with practical evidence that our emotions impact our bodies in different ways. And so my point being. is that logic is key in our lives. And also coming back to today's session, our volunteer is making some poor decisions and some of those decisions are based on something that man is telling her.

And so she's kind of been sucked into making these decisions. However, there of course is a part of her who knows her behavior is not. Correct. And so just there's multiple different aspects. And my point above all is I want to invite you to go into this episode from a place of non judgment where we're not going to judge our volunteer at all and not having that judgment, but instead thinking about what insights you can pull from this episode, because there are some very valuable insights that you could apply to your own life.

And so on that note. Let's go ahead and dive in with our beautiful volunteer. Her name is Sally and again, she's off track, but she's a sweetheart. And you'll notice that you'll absolutely love her and we'll make sure not to judge her as we dive in with Sally. Here we go.

Hello. Hi. Hi. Can you hear me? Okay. I can hear you. Great. I can hear you great. How are you? I'm doing great. I'm so excited. I love that. I'm excited to connect with you. How's your day? How are you feeling? What's going on? I'm good. I'm nervous. I don't know why, but I am. Well, I do know why, but

definitely no need to be nervous. Definitely no need. You're going to, it's going to be great. It's going to be fun. It's going to be, um, insightful, um, and empowering. That's what we do know, right? Yes. That's what we always know. I mean, You've listened to past episodes before, right? Yes. And every time it's like, there's a, there's powerful insights.

It's empowering. It's helpful. It's, it's mind expanding, right? Yes. So we're going to have fun. We're going to have fun. All right. So on that note. What can I help you with today? So I guess there's two main things, um, for as long as I can remember anyways, I've had a lot of like bloating in my gut, which has probably caused me like, I've never been like a regular person, if you know what I mean, it's, it's gotten better.

I used to get really bad stomach aches and the constipation used to be real bad, but it's, it's gotten a little bit better over the past couple of years. And then the pain that I'm feeling is, it's been going on for maybe about two months. It's, it's kind of in like my whole body, it's, it's in my shoulders, my neck, my back, my lower back, like the back of my legs, my hips, my heels, like my knees, my neck.

It's just like this really stiff, like if I sit and I go to get up, like it takes me a couple of seconds to like walk it off, I guess. Ah, okay, okay, um, bingo, all right, and um, okay. And by the way, what did your doctor say it was from? Um, the pain or the bloating? The pain. I haven't seen anybody because it's, I, I had changed like my workout routine, so I thought maybe I was just sore from being at the gym, but it just hasn't gone away.

Okay. It's not, it's not really bad pain, like I can deal with it, it's just kind of like annoying. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. Um, all right. So, um, so give me one second, um, and, uh, all right, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And, okay, and so, by the way, always, if you have ongoing any issue, et cetera, then you always want to go and visit your doctor and see what they say, right?

Yes. So, all right. Complete on that. And, uh, all right. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. All right. And if I ask you your level of pain, zero to ten, what's your level? Uh, maybe like a three. I'm sitting down right now, so I, I don't really feel much of anything, but if I got up and moved around, I would.

And so if I ask you, can you also go ahead and stand up and move around a bit and, uh, and notice what your pain is there? Um, you know, it's so funny. Like right now it's not that bad, maybe like a one, but earlier today it was like really stiff earlier. I'd say maybe like a four. Okay. Okay. And so, uh, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

And if I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find the feeling of feeling kind of like mad at life? Um. Zero to 10. How much can you find that? Maybe like a five. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I love your self awareness. I love your self awareness. And if I ask you. Why? I don't know. I hadn't really thought of it like being mad at life.

Um, I don't know. There's been a lot of things happening recently, I guess. Okay, and, uh, and if I ask you, uh, it even feels like things started happening or offness. It feels like it even started, uh, back in June. Are you familiar with that? Back in June. Yeah No, I'm trying to think I just I just got divorced The divorce was finalized in February and I I think I probably decided to end it last summer So it was yeah, I was probably around June or July.

Okay Okay, and if I ask you how you're feeling About the idea of dating again, what would you say? Uh, I guess I'm nervous. And for the longest time I was kind of in a spot where I was like, I don't need anybody else. Like, I just want to be alone. And I guess I hadn't really given it too much thought. Okay.

And if I ask you how much you can find the feeling of fear that what if you don't find somebody else to be with again, if I ask you how much you can find that fear, what would you say? I don't know, like I, I am kind of dating somebody right now. Uh, if I asked you when you guys started dating, when would you say that is?

Uh, well, I, I actually, I met him while I was still married, like the very end of my marriage. We didn't start dating until probably after I got divorced. So it's, it's probably been like 10 months. Okay. And if I ask you, okay, so if I ask you zero to 10, how much you feel loved by him, what would you say?

Probably a seven, eight. Okay. And if I ask you, there are so many feelings in this. Okay. So, and if I ask you zero to 10, how much there's a part of you that doesn't want to be in that relationship either, what would you say? With him specifically or just in a relationship? With him specifically. Yeah, there's yeah, there's definitely I feel that Zero to ten.

How much would you say that is? Maybe like how much I don't want to be in it. Maybe like a four Okay, so I would have said a little bit higher, but we'll stick with that. Okay now if you knew that you could find a relationship that was even more aligned with you. If you knew that for sure, would you stay in the current relationship?

Probably not, I guess. Okay. And so I want you to notice the part of you. So when I mentioned there's a feeling of feeling like, um, unsure if you'll ever be loved, there's that uncertainty if you'll find and have love and support even, um, in a relationship. Does that make sense? Yeah. Um, bingo. So let's go another direction.

Here we go. Okay, so if I ask you, what would it feel like to be single, single, single, genuinely all the way single? Freeing. Freeing. And zero to ten, how much would that feel scary also? Maybe like a five. Okay.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her self awareness and her self honesty with different emotions that are coming up. So that is great. And a lot of times, you know, if you're following along and you're trying to make logic of the different emotions that are coming up.

And you're trying to see that they're logical. You're going to find some lack of logic. You know, some feelings of feeling like she's kind of already seeing somebody, but not wanting to be in a relationship, but not sure if she'll be loved. But like, there's all of these different conflicting emotions.

Which is why I said to her, you know, there's a lot of different emotions here. And spoiler alert, it is because she's having an affair. And so we're going to talk about that coming up, but I just wanted to point that out because you're going to notice a few things. First and foremost, there's a lot of conflicting emotions.

Okay. Secondly, coming up, the emotion that we're about to dive into is I start asking her to let go of guilt because there's so much of it. Now, that was before I knew that she was having an affair because there's multiple feelings of guilt. There's guilt towards her husband, guilt towards her kids, all of these things.

Now, ultimately, of course, What needs to change is her behavior. You know, she needs to stop having the affair and really get out of that to be able to change the guilt. But I wanted to just kind of point that out for a moment. And there are going to be, just so you know, powerful insights coming up, even if you're not in the same situation as our volunteer, because All of the time, I do see people who are in great integrity, who may leave a relationship, who get divorced, and then they're beating themselves up, feeling guilty, even though they did it in great integrity.

And so. That's what I want to invite you to take away from this, is that if you have left a relationship and you are in great integrity, to allow yourself to be happy and not feel guilty. And of course, there are so many more insights from this, even about staying in a relationship that we're going to further unpack as well, and showing up for a relationship, and creating a beautiful relationship.

So again, they're just So many different components and pieces to this particular session, but the points that I want you to note from this are exactly that. Are a few things is that number one, not all the emotions are going to make sense because there's a lot of conflicting. things going on. So that's number one.

Number two is that I was trying to ask her to let go of feelings of guilt, which she does need to do, but getting out of the affair is of course going to be one of those. Um, and that not only that, but just because we're talking about having an affair, doesn't mean that You necessarily need to relate to that because there's, again, so many insights as far as creating a loving, wonderful relationship that we're going to talk about as well.

And then also, you know, if you are somebody who might be in an open relationship, because I know more and more people these days are having relationships that have different agreements to them, and that's great if that's what your agreements are. But whatever your agreements are, you want to make sure to live by them in that relationship.

And so even as you listen to this, if you are somebody who does have an open relationship, you may think, Oh, well, this isn't a big deal, but it is because it's a form of betrayal. It's a form of distrust. You know, when we show up in life, if we have certain agreements in relationships, such as agreements of monogamy, then that's the way we ultimately You need to show up and anything that is not that then is out of integrity.

You know, it's not in good integrity and that can affect your health. It can affect your life. And so again, just so many pieces to unpack. And so on that note, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Sally, here we go.

So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And, how do we put it, can you see how you have, let's say like an emotional codependency, if you will? Can you see that? With him or just somebody in general? Somebody in general. Like, in other words, okay, so let's put it this way. If this current guy was not at all in the picture, do you still feel like you would have Had the courage to leave your marriage.

It's funny because that kind of is, I had a year before I had finally a year prior to last June, I had kind of told him I wanted a divorce and he wanted to work it out. And so, you know, we tried some things, we went to couples therapy and that's kind of when I, I tried to get more into like, you know, changing my mindset and really got a little bit more spiritual.

And I was probably in a good place, but I. I still didn't know how to end it with him. And when this other guy came along, he, I never cheated or anything, but he kind of found out that I was talking to him and that that's kind of what ended it really. So I guess, yeah, I don't, if he had come along, I don't know if I would have had the courage to walk away.

And why? I didn't want to hurt my husband at the time and, and we have kids and it was It's super hard for me to, like, I didn't want, I didn't want him to be hurt. Bingo. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And so, when I said there's a lot of different feelings, as you can, you can tell, there's a lot of different emotions around this topic, right?

So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, I want you to picture just for a moment that you are happy in a new relationship. You're so in love. Oh my God, it's amazing and it's wonderful. How would you feel towards your ex and your kids? Uh, how would I feel towards them? Um, well, my kids, I love my kids no matter what, I would be happy towards them.

If I was happy in a relationship, I, I would probably feel bad if he wasn't. Bingo. Okay. Okay. Okay. So notice. You would feel badly if he wasn't, right? Yeah. Okay, and how much guilt would you have towards your kids? I guess I would feel a little guilty like they would be thinking like why couldn't you be this happy with dad and stay together?

Mm hmm. And so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to notice. So if I said to you, so let me reflect this to you. If I said, okay, I left a relationship and I feel like If I'm happy and in love again, I would feel guilty for it, bad for it, and like my children might criticize me for it and be disappointed in it.

Yeah. Not only with them, but with other people too, like I feel like my mom would think that way. Exactly. So, by the way, everybody's going to hate me if I continue to move forward. Um, and I'm happy and in love. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. Mm hmm. Absolutely. And so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice that.

And so what I want you to notice, if I ask you how much you can feel like there's been some hiccups in life lately with things, some frustrations, different hiccups of this, that, the other. Can you see that? Yes. Yes. So what's happening is this is let's say that I said, Oh my gosh, if I'm really in love, I feel like everybody's and I'm happy and in love and Oh my God, it's amazing that I feel like everybody's going to hate me, but I want that, but I feel like everybody's going to hate me, but I want that, but I feel like everybody's going to hate me.

Yeah. That's pretty silly. Yeah. Not only that, but what happens is then I start to manifest things that become distractions that then, uh, create problems. Does that make sense? Now, the other thing is, is there is a feeling of fear of being alone or fear of not being loved again, uh, so fear of being alone, zero to 10, I get about a level, about a four, uh, can you see that?

Yeah. Okay. So, um, okay, so let's do this. So if I ask you. Let's say that you knew for sure, number one, that everybody would be happy for you. If you're in love and you're happy and you're kind and you're caring and you're still showing up for your kids and you're being there and you're loving and happy and you're also in an amazing relationship and you knew your mother, your kids, and that everybody would be happy for you.

If you knew that for sure, how would you feel right now? Relaxed, I guess. Like I could just let everything go. Great. And I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if you knew life was going to start feeling a bit easier, how would you feel? Lighter. A little bit lighter or a lot lighter? A lot lighter. Okay. So I want to go back to that initial feeling of feeling kind of, uh, mad at life, uh, type of feeling.

And I'm going to ask you to breathe. And there's another piece Uh, if I ask you, if I said, what if you don't have to feel guilty for leaving your marriage? I wish I could let that go. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. What if you don't have to feel guilty? What if guilt is the wrong answer? And by the way, your, your children, wouldn't it be amazing?

Let's say they grow up. And let's say they feel like it's best for them to leave their marriage and then they do, and they feel really guilty. And then they feel like they shouldn't be in love again, and they feel guilty. Uh, and they feel like it would be bad to be in another relationship and that they feel guilt for leaving them the marriage.

That would be amazing, right? No, I would never want that for them, or anybody. Oh, okay. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and how much guilt do you want to have, exactly? Zero. Oh, okay. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And what would it look like to be a great example for your daughters in that you can be very loving, very kind, very thoughtful, and also you can allow yourself to be loved and, and not feel any guilt, but feel like you did the right thing for you.

What would that look like? I would be much happier and probably less irritated. Great. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. Okay, and I want you to notice a level of pain in your body, zero to ten, what's your level? I can feel a little bit in my neck, like a point five, my shoulders a little bit.

Okay. Mm hmm. Great, great, great. If I ask you sometimes how much you feel like you want more space from this new guy? How much would you say that is? Um, I don't, it's funny because I actually feel like I could be, I wish I could be around him more. Mm hmm. So, I don't know if space is the right word. Okay. And if I ask you when you're around him, how much guilt you feel, what would you say?

Um, probably a lot because he's, He's, he's still married too. So I, I know I have a whole lot of guilt on that. And that's why. And um, if I ask you to notice the part of you, so there's a few things, again, so many, so many different emotions around this. If I ask you the part of you who is bingo, wanting to give him like an ultimatum that he needs to leave or this, that, the other.

Uh, zero to ten, what would you say? Uh, ten, probably. Okay, so, uh, So I want you to notice the part of you who wants to move away from him, wants to pull, like, pull away from him in that regard. Can you see that? Yeah, 100%. Zero to ten, how much? Probably a 9 or a 10. Bingo. Okay. So, uh, so I want you to notice that the part of you that wants to pull away from him, in a sense of an, shows partially from a place of punishment and partially from a place of ultimatum.

Can you see that? Yes. Bingo. Okay. So this is the thing. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And, okay, so, and I want you to be really, really acutely aware of your emotions. Okay? Acutely aware. Okay? So, I want you to notice the part of you who wants to move away from him, from a place of punishing him.

Can you see that? Yeah, definitely. Okay? So, what I want to encourage you to do is move away from him from a place of integrity and also trust. That you're not trying to punish him at all, but you're doing it because it's the right thing to do because it's the thing that, that is an integrity. And you say, look, it, this isn't in good integrity at all.

And if ever you are single completely, then reach out for sure. But I need to make sure that I'm spiritually in integrity. For my health, for my happiness, for all of these things and for my own integrity, right?

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a few really quick insights. You know, first and foremost, let me correct myself. You know, I just mentioned to her that, you know, letting it go, walking away from the relationship and saying to him, you know what? If he has. Ever single or whatnot to look her up.

Now, I don't really mean that. So let me actually correct what I said, because this guy is not obviously a quality guy. He does not have good integrity. He's lying. He's cheating. He's had multiple affairs. I mean, he's just not a quality guy. So I don't actually mean that. And I do correct that coming up, just so you know, further on in this session, I Definitely make that clear, but she's been sucked into this guy's manipulation and charm, et cetera, et cetera.

And again, she's not innocent. There's a part of her who knows what she's doing is not in good integrity, which is the reason she's got all of these feelings of guilt. Point being is I just wanted to number one, correct my statement in what I said. And you'll notice that comes out in the session coming up.

So that is there. But just wanting to know that also, as far as feelings of guilt, you know, if your actions are doing something that is not in good integrity, then of course you'll want to make sure to change those. You can't just change the emotional part. It's similar to somebody driving towards a cliff and having a ton of fear come up.

You know, it becomes much easier to change your emotions if you are not driving towards a cliff. You know, it's a lot easier to change your emotions. Now, additionally, any behavior that comes from trying to manipulate or control. others or punish others is not the energy that you want to have. And it backfires.

And where she is, you know, in a place of doing something that isn't in good integrity, and then also trying to punish him and manipulate him, that is also the part that's then impacting her health and the pain in her body. And so there are multiple layers to it. But point being, is it in your life, even if you're not in the same situation, you know, likely you're probably not in the same situation as she is.

And you know, you might be, but chances are you're not in the same situation. And if you are, of course, you want to not judge yourself. You'll definitely just want to change the situation. Even in other situations, all of the time I'll see people who are Maybe being passive aggressive in their relationship or controlling in their relationship itself.

And that of course can still impact you. And so I want to invite you to look at that in your own life, is that You know, even being passive aggressive is a form of control or manipulation. And sometimes people will have patterns of doing these very things that are impacting their health. And so again, just a few insights and there are so many other takeaways.

And I mentioned previously that we're going to talk about even some things you could do to create an even more loving relationship. And so we're going to make sure to take this. In the positive direction, in a strong way coming up, but just kind of food for thought if you have any of these things going on in your life.

All right. So, uh, that said, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Sally. Here we go.

Okay. And now if I say, how does that feel to you? Makes me kind of sad, but that's exactly what I've been struggling with. And to make things even worse, we work together. So, I, I have tried that, like, several times, like, to end things, but then when I see him at work, like, it's just hard and I fall back into it, because, I mean, deep down inside, I, I really do love him, I think.

Mm hmm. So, it's been really, really hard to just walk away, even though I know that's the right thing to do. Great. I love that you know that it's the right thing to do, and I also understand that. Um, and what I would say is this, is that there's a, the part of you that wants to walk away from punish, like, it's like, notice you're wanting to control him.

Notice you're wanting to punish him. Can you see that? Like you want to give him an ultimatum and you want to say, okay, well I'm going to walk away, but it's to punish you. Right? Okay. Now remember in the, one of the first emotions that came up is a fear of not being loved again. Right? Mm hmm. Now, you can see how there's a part of you who's afraid that he won't end up leaving his wife, right?

Okay. If I ask you zero to ten, how much you can see that? I definitely think he will at some point in time, but yeah, I can see that a little bit. Okay. So, so you guys have been connecting now for, let's say, almost two years? Almost a year. No, just almost a year. Almost a year. Okay. Now, if you knew that you could find somebody even better, if you were 100 percent sure, 100 percent certain that you could find somebody even better, would you leave?

Yes. Yes. This is the thing, right? Is that you don't want to start a relationship on these terms anyway. It's kind of like this. How amazing does it sound to build a house on the edge of, of an unstable foundation? Not good at all. Not good at all. It's a matter of time before. Things start to crack, right? So all the time, what I'll see, it just, it's kind of like this all of the time.

What I'll see is this is that when people do end up doing that, they have the relationship. On, they build it on, on a feeling that wasn't completely an integrity. I see them experience some type of hardship. Maybe they do stay together, but then they have extreme financial hardship. And I've seen people who have done that, but have the work and then it's, you want to, you want to genuinely be an integrity for you, and this is honestly how I feel is this, I, I.

How I honestly, honestly feel is I feel that the more I just stay in good integrity, the universe gifts me with things. And it's amazing. It's literally like just staying in integrity for little things, big to anything, as I just stay in integrity. It's like the universe is like, Oh, and here's a gift. And that's really how I feel about life.

And I see it all of the time. And if you knew that the gifts of life would be even better if you maintain great integrity and you stick to your integrity for yourself, for your being, for your health, for your happiness, for your life. If you just said, look it, like that you have a strong constitution of that, that it must be that.

Uh, if I ask you how that would feel to you. What would you say? Yeah, I definitely don't want to feel like I'm feeling anymore. Okay. So the other thing is, by the way, I have literally seen people who are holding on to somebody trying to be in a relationship with somebody for 12 years, hoping that he'll just leave his wife.

And you, you don't, either way, you, it just, this is what I would say is this. All of the time, people think they get away with things, okay? People will think, Oh, well, I did this with this, or I did this with this, and I'm getting away with like, it's all working out. It's okay. It's okay to not be an integrity, but what they don't realize is that it impacts their health, it impacts their life, it impacts their finances.

It impacts something or it impacts something. Does that make sense? So, so this is what I would say. Um, bingo. Okay. So a couple of things. So you've had some, some recent hiccups in life. Can you see that? Mm hmm. And if I ask you how frustrating they felt, what would you say? Extremely. Extremely. Right. Now I want you to notice something that I said previously, as I said, notice that the guilt, I, this is what I said, as I said, notice your feelings of guilt are causing hiccups in your life.

Right. Okay. So, uh, bingo. So this is what I would say. So, so in other words, so when I looked at, okay, what's creating the hiccups is the, are the feelings of guilt. Now, when I started to look at the guilt, it was about leaving your husband. And then of course this other, so there's multiple factors of the feel, from, that are creating the feelings of guilt.

Um, so let's do this. So give me one second. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And if I ask you zero to 10, how much you feel like the best thing to do right now is beat yourself up and feel badly, what would you say? A 10? No, no, no, no, no. Wrong answer. Try again. Zero to 10. How much you feel like the most productive, best thing you could do right now is beat yourself up.

Zero to 10. Let me give you a hint. The answer is zero. Yeah, I know. Definitely zero. Definitely zero. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause the session right here because there are some really powerful insights from this episode. And I mentioned, we're going to take this in the positive direction as always, because there's a very important piece here where we can learn from others. And that is really powerful.

And I love that insight from this episode. And again, there are just so many layers. So let's unpack this, you know, first and foremost, let's look at the punishment piece, you know, as I mentioned right here. for her to not punish herself or beat herself up, but instead take some action to change this. Now, if we think about it for a moment, if Sally was in a place where she was really feeling amazing about herself, she felt good about herself.

She felt really confident. She felt great. She felt like she deserved to be loved and she really respected. Who she was. Do we think she would be in this place of having an affair, of being a side piece, if you will, for almost a year? Of course not. No woman who feels incredible about themselves, who feels confident, who feels like they love who they are, who feels deserving of love and of a great life, It's going to be a side piece and be okay with that.

Nobody would, you know, that is not what they're going to put up with. But what happens is of course, there are patterns or insecurities or not feeling good enough or always feeling second, you know, point being. Is it our patterns beyond what we see? You know, we talked about in the very beginning how patterns breed more of the same.

I have seen people before who grow up in childhood, who maybe feel like their sister or brother is always put first and they're always last and always last. And then they grow up and they find themselves having an affair and they're in that same relationship dynamic where they're always last. And so point being again, is that the more you can stay in a place of non judgment, but instead of curiosity of having an open mind, the more you can see that people don't put themselves in a bad situation on purpose.

There are so many subconscious factors that align to manifest specific situations. And as I mentioned to her, if she beats herself up and just judges herself, then what will happen is this, is that she could beat herself up, judge herself, feel guilty, feel badly. She'll never see the emotional patterns that are contributing.

to the situation that manifested in her life. And she'll never feel the confidence to be able to then also get into a better situation. And so point being in the takeaway that you'll really want to first take from this is that if you're in a place where you're having action in your life that is not in good integrity, the last thing that you'll want to do is beat yourself up because you won't have the clarity, the confidence to move forward.

to fix it. Instead, problems breed more of the same. You'll find more problems and you notice, even in her life, what's happening is that she's got a lot of, you know, she's attracting problems in her life, which will put her in a place of feeling even more codependent that she won't be able to let go of the relationship or, you know, affair that she's having right now, because there's a type of emotional codependency going on.

And then she'll really feel afraid of being alone. Which will make it then feel impossible to leave because some support is better than no support in her eyes. So then she won't have the confidence, the courage to make that change and it'll feel more alone and more scary. And that's exactly what happens, is that we just end up down that spiral of losing yourself.

Again, point being is just simply that, is that yes, her actions are not in good integrity and she'll want to change those. And I want to invite you to notice that if you do have some type of actions that are not in integrity, don't beat yourself up. Don't criticize yourself. Instead, number one, discontinue the pattern.

Discontinue, you know, get yourself out of the situation and also Really have an open mind to understanding what the subconscious patterns are that landed you and manifested the situation. Not so you can judge yourself or beat yourself up, but instead, so you can make sure to have compassion and self compassion and definitely transform.

A subconscious pattern. So that's one powerful insight that I want to invite you to take from this. Now, the other insight that I want to invite you to take from this is nurturing your relationships. Is that all of the time, people may fall out of love in their relationship. And maybe it's a romantic relationship or friendship or family, but what can happen is this.

People might feel in life, you might feel like you're going through a lot where you're, you know, if you think about somebody who's really, really stressed or overwhelmed or fear of life or whatever that is, a lot of times it's easy to become consumed by self, consumed by your thoughts that are going on in your own head or your emotions or your life or your work or whatever that is, that you may forget to show up and nurture your relationships.

And to show up and purposely make them fun. And what I mean by that is not by having date night once a month, though that can be nice, but showing up daily for them. Like, who are you in your relationships? Because if somebody says, well, I'm in a relationship with somebody who's always nagging me, or I'm in a relationship with somebody who's always negative, or always venting, or always complaining, or always frustrated, well, that's not that fun.

And so I want to invite you to look at how you're showing up in your relationships. Are you making a point to show up and create love and be loving and be fun? Or is your relationship getting your leftovers? You know, for a lot of people, they can get stuck in that situation where their relationship really does get the leftovers of what's left of them at the end of the day.

And they don't realize that after a year or two or three of consistently giving your relationship your leftovers, or using your relationships, your friendships as therapy, as venting all the time, it doesn't create the fun. It takes the magic out of it. And even when people do love each other. The magic disappears, the fun, the euphoria, the playfulness, the excitement disappears.

And so I want to invite you to look at that and ask yourself, are you making a point to show up and to be fun and to be playful and to laugh on purpose and to be silly for no reason and for every reason? Because, you know, when you stop and think about it for a relationship, when people, People are starting to date.

It's like they want to make a point to be fun, to be interesting, to have fun, to impress their partner. And then they get into a relationship and they're, they end up giving the relationship their leftovers. And again, you can apply this to any relationship, whether it's family, friends, or a romantic relationship.

But that's the point that I want to invite you to take from this is to learn from others mistakes. You know, if you think about it for a moment with her husband, she didn't want hurt his feelings, but of course they lost that magic a long time ago. And a lot of people do lose the magic just because. They stop showing up for relationships, or they give their relationships their leftovers, or they think that a relationship is meant for venting and emotional support instead of nourishing it and flourishing it and showing up.

in a fun way to create what you want it to be. And so that's the other insight that I want to invite you to take from that. And by the way, if part of you is thinking, well, I can't show up for a relationship, I'm sick or have problems or this, that, the other, remember that the more you show up for a relationship, being playful, being fun, being loving and connecting is good.

For you, it is good for your health. It is good for your life. It is good to help your body to heal, to show up in fun, wonderful ways. It's good for you. It's good for them. It's good for the relationship. And so that's the part that I want to invite you to remember as well is that don't make illness a reason to not show up for your relationship instead.

Make it a reason that you must show up for your relationship. Is that it's good for you? It's good for the relationship. It's good for everything. It's good for healing. So just so many insights. Now, as far as the rest of the session, we will continue the rest of it next week. And you'll see some of the reasons that she is sucked in and he is lying to her and he is manipulating her.

And of course, she still knows that she's doing wrong. And so I don't want to blame him. I just want to say that, you know, sometimes people lose themselves and she's definitely on that path of having lost herself. And so we'll unpack that. And of course, more powerful insights, even if you cannot relate to her situation at all.

Again, we can always learn. And that is a powerful tool to take away as well. And so on that note, I do want to invite you to make a point to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and empowered and loving and flourishing, the That every single person is, the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do make a point to hit the share button and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, fantastic, loving rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about, or those, you know, who really need it as more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world.

for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life.

If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize.

That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore. com/podcast. And, if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors.

Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds. With what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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Also, please remember that genuine change and follow through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor.

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