211 Transcript: Letting Go of Illusions: Embracing the Truth & Empowering Yourself to Change Without the Weight of Guilt

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health, yourself and your life. Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here. Continue me to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love today's episode. You know, each episode is just so uniquely different. And that is so true with today's episode.

And today's episode is profound in a different way. You know, every time that I work with a volunteer and they're releasing pain or shifting some type of health issue or something in their lives, I always, of course, ask the universe, divine energy, whatever you want to call it, what is the message from this?

Because even though you may not be experiencing the exact same thing, As the volunteer, there is always a bigger message. There's always a message that is profound that you can apply to your life in a variety of different ways. And that is one of the things that is really powerful about today's episode is that there are a lot of people who are not going to resonate.

With the experience that our volunteer is having today. However, that's also part of the gift in it because the insights from today's episode are really powerful and you can apply this to multiple areas of your life. And I think that the message that we're seeing today. is so important and is really actually needed for so many people.

And so that's what I love about this episode is it just, you know, boiling it down to the message, hugely profound. The exact circumstances and situation is not going to be relevant. For a lot of people. And what's great about that is that it then becomes easier to learn from other people's mistakes, which is exactly what we're diving into today.

Now, on today's episode, we're working with our beautiful volunteer. Her name is Sally, and she's in the middle of making a big mistake in her life. Or rather we'll say she was. of making a big mistake in her life that she's actually discontinuing or shifting. And so that's what we're working on today. Now, I started working with Sally on last week's episode.

And if you recall the issue that she was dealing with is she had a lot of neck pain, she also had pain in her legs. And also in her stomach. And as far as the situation, circumstances that, you know, some of the things that were coming up for her is that she was feeling a lot of guilt in a relationship.

And it's because she's having a relationship with a married man. And she divorced her husband, et cetera, et cetera. So there's a lot of different things going on and she's working on shifting those. Now, you might be wondering what type of insights could I possibly learn from this? And I'm glad you asked, because part of what we're going to be talking about is even falling into manipulation of other people.

And it is something that we definitely all need to pay attention to. in our lives. And so that's part of where we're going today. And also important insights as far as navigating relationships and also creating transformation in your life and much more. So just a really great episode. Also not judging yourself, not judging others, staying out of punishment.

I mean, just a lot of really powerful insights. So even if you can't resonate with this specific situation. There are a lot of insights that can help you to create a transformation in your own life. And so on that note, let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Sally. Here we go.

So a few things. So we mentioned previously, there is a lot of feelings of guilt as far as you being happy and in love and in a relationship. Now, of course, part of the reason was your ex husband. And that's also the reason that I was seeing the feelings being so high is because this guy is still married.

Does that make sense? Mm hmm. So okay. So this is what's great. Okay. So number one is this is that as we were talking about your pain Okay, what we've talked about so far is that feelings of guilt Are affecting your physical body. Number one, uh, is that moving forward. So we talked about as far as moving forward and being happy and being in a relationship and all of these things that you felt like, um, there would be a lot of guilt and that everybody would be mad at you, your mother, your kids, your ex, all of these people.

And so now we can see even more the reason why those feelings are there. Or it's not just because you've left your ex, but also because this current guy is. In another relationship. Okay. Uh, not only is the guilt impacting you moving forward, uh, it's also creating frustrating things in life, um, events in life, relationship.

Uh, or, uh, events in life that have come up, which are frustrating, but give me one second. So this is what I want to say. Okay. So this is why I'm stumbling around with my words is because I want to say, honey, you've got to get yourself out of this situation. And then I also simultaneously am very aware of the feelings that you're feeling of shame, of guilt, of feeling bad, of feeling horrible for this situation.

And I don't want you to experience those. Okay, because that's not going to be helpful. It's not going to be productive. It's not going to be good for your health. And I also, again, simultaneously want to say for so many reasons, uh, that you're better than this. That this isn't the situation that you want to be in.

For your kids, it's not the role model that you want to be. It's not who you want to be. Um, and I would also say this, is that, I mean, for so many reasons, and, and I would say that Um, when we get stuck into times of even like, if we're out, not in good integrity, it's like, we lose ourselves. We lose our sense of self.

Um, there's just so many reasons that, uh, that I want to encourage you to get out of this situation. Now, if I ask you, because I never want to, my job, of course, is not to judge. So I don't have any judgments. Um, and, uh, it is not to. tell you what to do, uh, but to advise you that this is my best and absolute, uh, advice would be to, to get out of it.

And if I ask you, is that something that you want to do or you are wanting to do, but that definitely is what is coming up very much in your energy. If I ask universe, how much am I supposed to warn you that you're going down the wrong path? Zero to 10, the answer is like a 500. Um, and that guilt. is impacting your health, your hiccups in your life, uh, and it will continue to and that you're on the wrong path.

Um, so that's what I, bingo, can deliver to you as far as the message. Um, and, uh, and if I were in your shoes, Uh, I would not judge self, uh, but I would definitely end the situation. Um, and, and I would set myself up for success. So if you needed to then change jobs or you needed to change desk space or whatever it is, I would make a point to set myself up for success.

I would say, okay, to successfully do this, I am going to, I'm going to do this and that's it. And I know it can feel hard, but so too, if somebody's an alcoholic, it can feel hard quitting. Or a drug addict. It can feel hard quitting, but they need to, to make their life better. And. Uh, and so I would set up parameters that would help me to succeed.

I would do that. And then I would lift myself like crazy. I would say, okay, look, I'm going to make this time about me and I'm going to work on me. That's what I would do. Um, how does that feel to you? It feels good, actually. Cause I, I feel like I've been really fighting with myself about like leaving or staying.

And I've kind of had this thing, like, I wish somebody would just tell me what to do. And you basically just told me what to do. Pretty sure that's my sign. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I love that. I love that. And I would say, by the way, when you end it with him, do it for you, not to get him to leave his wife, not to punish him, not to, you do it for you.

Say, look it, I need to do this for me because your level of respect to self and for your family and for your kids, but to yourself, to your soul is, Hey, I need to do this for me. And if in the event you are, uh, like, what? And maybe you stay with her forever and great, that's okay. I don't want to do this. To manipulate, to entice, to encourage you to punish, you do do it very, very clean.

Does that make sense? Yeah, definitely. Great. That's what I would do. Now, if I ask you to breathe, and if I ask you to notice what it feels like to do this for you, for you, because the person who you are, and who you want to be, and who you are, and the mother that you are, and the being that you are. That you're doing this for you.

Genuinely, genuinely, you're saying, look it, this is who I want to be. This is who I am now from that place, by the way, then you're going to find the right person. Because this is what will happen is that from that place, you'll attract a guy who is in great integrity because that's who you are being and that's, that's what you're requiring and that's the energy you're putting out.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Bingo. All right. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Okay. And if I ask you to notice your level of pain in your neck, zero to 10, what's your level? The neck is almost gone. I just stood up a couple of seconds ago. I could still feel it in the back of my legs. Mm hmm. Great. My stomach feels like there's a brick in it.

Great. So give me one second. Bingo. Okay. If I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find the feeling of the brick? In your stomach, what would you say? Yeah, maybe like a five. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. And I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling that you're strong and that it's safe for you to be not in a relationship.

It's actually safe that you can grow and connect even more with you and that you're safe, that you're safe. That you're safe. And I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I also want you to notice the feeling, the part of you that just feels like you just want and you want him to leave his wife. And you just want to force him to have to do that.

Can you see that? Yeah. Yep. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I want you to notice exactly that. The part of you that wants to force him to have to do that. And I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And I'm gonna ask you to take in the feeling and the awareness and the standard that a man who wants to be with you will be with you because he wants to be with you, not because you're forcing him or making him.

Yeah. What? Yeah, I can see that. What? Yes. Yes. Yes. So I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling that you are good enough and you are worthy and that you believe in yourself. You are good enough and you are worthy and you are lovable and you don't have to chase him, that you can find a man who really actually loves you and wants to be a hundred percent with you.

Hundred percent. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I want you to take in the feeling that you're not trying to take him. You're not trying to control any man. Because you'll find somebody who wants, wants, wants, wants to be with you and who's willing, who's man enough to be where he needs to be and to show up.

He's man enough to be in integrity in a relationship. That's the kind of man that you want anyway, okay? And by the way, if I ask you, how many times do you think this guy has been flirting and connecting with other women outside of his marriage? Oh, I know he has. He's told me that he's had an affair before.

Exactly. Oh, he sounds like an amazing catch.

Yeah. Yeah, so this is the thing. So notice for a moment the way you're thinking. By the way, I've seen that all of the time where women get a man from cheating, and then they all of a sudden think, well, as soon as he's with me, he won't cheat anymore. What? He's had an affair before. He's that amazing of a catch?

You sure you want this one? No. So notice that. How much would you want your daughters to grow up and start be, want to be with a man who's known for having affairs? Definitely not. Definitely not. This is what it tells you about him. That one, he'll have an affair on you, likely, if you guys were together.

And how would that feel by the way? Horrible. Horrible. And two, it also tells me that he's really good at making women feel very special and adored. Now, how much does he make you feel really special? A lot. Uh huh. So he's very good at manipulating people. Awesome. But maybe you deserve more than that in a relationship.

I definitely do. Right? Now this is the thing, is that if you think about it, when people come on my podcast, do I make them feel differently? Yes. But it's all in their best interest. So what I'm doing is saying, what is creating pain? And I'm helping them to shift their emotions, to feel differently, to serve them.

Now, if I was going, Oh, well, let me do this to serve me. How can I make people feel a certain way to serve me? Well, first and foremost, they wouldn't be out of pain. But secondly, that's what he's doing. He's saying, how can I make her feel amazing and wonderful and special to serve me in my affair needs?

And you've fallen into it and you want him to leave his relationship. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. Do you think maybe you deserve better? Definitely do. Mm hmm. Now, bingo. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Now, you know what's interesting is if I ask you 0 to 10, how much he makes you feel special, what would you say?

Probably like a 9. Right? Now if you think about it, he's still got another, he still has his wife. So isn't it funny that he's making you feel so special and yet he's going home to another woman every day? Yeah. How does that work? It's pretty horrible actually. But he's making you feel special. So it's a manipulation.

Do you understand? Yeah. Like it's kind of like this, is it, imagine if you're making somebody feel a certain way and your actions. So kind of like this, if we just base it on his actions, you're second place in his life and you're not even second. You're below his kids, his family, his, you're, you're below a lot of things.

Can you see that? Yeah. So if you base it on his actions only, how special do you, how much do you feel like a priority in his life? If you base it on his actions. I feel like zero priority. Exactly. But if you base it on his words, how much do you feel like a priority in his life? Based on his words? Like a 9 or a 10?

Exactly. So something doesn't line up. Yeah. Do you see that? Absolutely, yeah. But he's very, very good at making you feel special. And notice, I'm seeing that. It's not like you said, Oh, but he makes me feel really special. No, I see that. I see what he's doing. I see it clear as day. He doesn't treat you like the priority, but he makes you feel like you are and you feel all special.

So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I'm just going to ask you again, don't you feel like you maybe deserve better? I definitely do. I would say so, but you're kind of sucked into this feeling of, Oh, well, he makes me feel really special. And he tells me the prior, I'm a priority. He doesn't treat me like a priority, but he tells me that I am.

So. That's enough. And by the way, how much do you think the last woman who he had an affair with probably wanted him to leave his wife and come with her? Probably. Probably. And what about the one before that? And the one before that? Yeah, probably. Yeah, he's not a great catch, honey. But sure, he makes you feel like, oh, you're special and you're different and all of these things.

Awesome. He's really good at manipulating your emotions. Yeah, I definitely think I need to walk away. I would agree, but do it for you, not to punish him, and not because you want him. You don't. I have a question. Imagine for a moment, yay, let's say he does leave, and you can then get in a wonderful relationship with a guy who has affairs all the time.

How is the rest of your life? Probably always be wondering. Well, wondering. And then also, I mean, are you okay with that? Do you mind if he has an affair? I definitely don't want that to happen. Well, then definitely don't. That's like saying if you, if you pick a certain type of person. You know, it's like if you pick somebody who's a certain way and then you, like, notice, you want to then meet, you want to be with him and then change him.

So whenever you're in a relationship, you want to be able to look at somebody and say, I take you as you are, not I take you as you are because I'm going to then change you. Does that make sense? Yeah.

All right. So, uh, let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, there are a lot of different things to unpack here regarding relationships, because you can change relationship dynamics and there are certain changes that you can make. But at the same time, when you meet somebody and somebody is a certain way, you want to be willing to accept that.

You know, I love the quote by Maya Angelou and it's this quote where she basically says, you know, when people show you who they are, why don't you believe them? And you know, there's been different paraphrases of it, but basically in short, when people Show you who they are, believe them. And you know, it's interesting because all of the time in relationships, what I see more and more often falls more along the lines of when people show you who they are, try to change them, you know?

And that's what I see a lot of people wanting to do in relationships is change. somebody else. And so I want to invite you to take in this invaluable lesson. Now, there is another side of the coin to that, and it is also about shifting relationship dynamics because we can change relationship dynamics.

You know, for example, I've worked with people who have been in relationships 50 years who were feeling unloved or disconnected in their relationship. That when they changed themselves, the relationship changed. And so in those cases, they were able to change the other person, but it was by changing themselves.

And so what I would invite you to take from this is to be willing to change yourself and your patterns. And what happens is the more that you do and that you really transform yourself, the right people will show up. Or the relationship dynamic that you have will show up. Now, of course, that does not apply in this case because this man is married.

And so this relationship connection is completely out of integrity. So I would never be able to support something that is not in integrity. I wouldn't want to support. Something that is not in integrity. So I'm not saying in this particular situation, I'm just saying in relationships in general. However, of course, the more that you love yourself and respect yourself and stay in integrity, the more you won't end up putting yourself in situations like this.

Now, there's no blame. No blaming her, no judgment, no criticism, no any of that. She's, yes, she's in the middle of making a mistake, but she's working on fixing it coming up. And also, this guy is quite manipulative. And so there's multiple pieces to that. And of course, Sally still knows under it all, she's doing something wrong.

However. There's also more to unpack here, and so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Sally. Here we go.

So notice, by the way, how much you feel like you're different from all the other girls to him. Can you see that? Definitely. Yep, that's called Affair 101.

You now. Good, and that good because the thing of it is when you see it now, like, and that's why you don't want to judge yourself. You go, oh, okay, I fell into this. Like, let's be honest. If we look at it without being in a place of judgment, We can go, okay, you weren't happy in your marriage, and you needed to be able to leave it, but you weren't happy in it, and okay, you were in a vulnerable spot, and ta da, you fell for this guy who was like, oh, well, let me take a woman who's in a vulnerable spot, I can make them feel special, and like, they're the special one, and they're different from anybody else, and I can treat them as zero level of priority, but I can tell them their priority and they'll hear it and they'll believe it.

And okay, great. Despite all circumstances, I'll tell them that they're a priority and they're so special and they'll believe it. And you just go, okay, well, I, I see I was in a vulnerable spot. I got sucked in and, and just, and going, okay, like, and not only that, this is the other thing is this is what happens.

So you've heard like on past episodes where I'll talk about emotions breed more of the same, right? So what happens, like if we take a pattern of criticism, people feeling always criticized, a lot of times what will happen is they'll take a bunch of action that then attracts more of the same. It's like, or if you feel guilty for something, it's like somebody will end up doing this and this and this.

And they feel more guilty because then they just keep down the wrong path. Now, the part of you that felt guilty about leaving your husband, what happened is then you felt really, really guilty. So then you attract more situations and circumstances to feel guilty about. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. And then what'll happen is you also feel a need to feel punished.

And you'll attract more and more and more of those punishing feelings from life, okay, and which can also impact your health, okay? So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and again, it's not about this other guy. You don't need to punish him. You don't need to talk about it with him. You just need to be, think about what you want for you and be willing to, to deserve it, to be willing to, to have a great life, to be willing to not judge yourself.

Don't judge or criticize yourself, but it's never too late to do the right thing. Does that make sense? Like the right thing can start today. How does that feel to you? Feels good. It feels empowering. Great. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Now, if I asked you the level in your stomach, zero to ten, what's your level?

It still feels like very bloated. Uh huh. Zero to ten. What's your level? Uh, probably still like a five. Mm hmm. That's what I would have said. Five, four, five, somewhere in there. So I want you to notice the part of you who still wants him. Can you find that feeling? It's definitely still there a little bit. I think I've moved on, like I've moved a little bit.

And I want you to notice the part of you who still wants him. And I'm going to ask you to let that go. You don't want a cheater. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. You don't actually want that. You don't want that. And I'm going to ask you to breathe. So the thing of it is, it's kind of like this. If somebody is addicted to drugs, let's say addicted to cocaine, do they want, or you know, they do cocaine all the time, blah, blah, blah.

Do they want the feeling from cocaine or do they want the white powder? The feeling. The feeling. So the thing of it is you don't want. A cheater. You're consciously aware enough to know that you don't want that, but the feeling of how he manipulates you to make you feel so special, that's what you want.

The feeling of it feeling fun and new and exciting, that's what you want. But consciously, you know you don't want somebody who has affairs all the time. You know that. That make sense? Yeah, definitely. Okay, so you're more addicted to the feeling of what he's telling you it is Rather than what it really is I mean, when you look at what it really is, your last place priority, and you have been for almost a year, and you're somehow happy with that.

No. Okay. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. Level in your stomach. Zero to ten. What's your level? Maybe down to like a three. Bingo. Notice it's going down. Right? Yeah. Great. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. So I want you to notice the difference between, again, people don't do cocaine because they say, Oh, I really want white powder.

They want the feeling that they get from it. Okay. So if you think about it for a moment, you don't want a cheater. You don't want to be put in last place. You don't want to be a zero level of priority. Those are all the things that are actual reality. You want the feeling that he manipulates you with. So, find that feeling with somebody who can actually make you a priority, and actually is that.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Great. Level in your stomach. Zero to ten. Maybe like a two. Yeah, so notice it's actually going down. Why? Okay, so notice what you're doing is you're actually letting go of wanting to, uh, to, uh, be with him. Like, actually, genuinely, actually letting it go. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe.

And I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling if I said, Hey, by the way, you could be in a relationship with a guy who regularly has affairs and will put you in last place priority, but tell you you're amazing. How awesome does that sound? Yeah, that sounds terrible. Well, that's what you're doing.

Because you let go of wanting him. Yeah. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice the level in your stomach. Zero to ten, what's your level? Maybe like a one and a half. That's what I have, about a 1. 3, right in there. So, notice. So, by the way, I want you to kind of look at the big picture and notice.

You just went from a feeling of feeling like a five, that there's a brick in your stomach, to like a one and a half. Okay, so beyond Brandy. You can see that your body is telling you that what you are wanting is not great. And as you're shifting it, and you're not wanting what you're wanting. that that's changing.

Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. So again, I'm going to ask you to breathe and beyond Brandy, you can see your body changing. So beyond Brandy, we're looking at this in a different way. So when Brandy is saying, Hey, here's this guy who's treating you like a zero priority in actuality and also who regularly has affairs.

And this is that guy, and you're wanting him. Eek! Eek! Wake up! Okay? It's saying, wake up, you're going down a rabbit hole, like, now you see how people get sucked into things, and I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I'm going to ask you to not judge yourself, but I'm going to ask you to be aware enough to be willing to change.

And I'm going to ask you to breathe, to be willing to not judge yourself, but I'm going to ask you to breathe. And again, beyond Brandy. Beyond Brandy, you can see that your own body is shifting into a better state of health with this change. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and if I ask you 0 to 10, how much do you want to really want this guy?

Like 0. 5? Yeah, I don't. I don't want it at all. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice the feeling of awareness. It's kind of like this. When I mentioned earlier, we get sucked into places where we start losing ourselves. Okay, I can tell you during my injury I was in so like emotional this that the other fear blah blah blah.

I lost myself Okay? Now I want you to notice you're gaining clarity of what the situation really is. Yes. Okay? So I'm going to ask you to breathe. You're gaining clarity of what the situation really is. Now by the way, how amazing would it be if I told you that your daughters were going to grow up? And have a man put their family and wife and blah, blah, blah, all in front of them and say, but you're really, really special.

You're so special. You're different than all the rest. You're just different. And you're so special. For a year or two or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How much would you want that for your daughters? No. Well, how much would you want them to be in a relationship with somebody that you know is known for having affairs?

How much would you want that? Zero. So if I ask you how much you want to bring that into their lives, and how much you want to be that, what would you say? Not at all. Great, so I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I'm going to ask you to close your eyes for a moment, and I'm going to say to you, I know he makes you feel really special.

I know he makes you feel like it's different, and you're different, and that you guys have something so special, and it's just different, and so unique, and yes, that's called having an affair 101. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and don't get sucked into the feeling of what he's saying.

He's manipulating you, and he's good at it, and he's good at manipulating his wife. Like, look at how he treats her, to have multiple affairs with all kinds… So why do you think he's going to leave you, or leave her this time, but he didn't leave her in the previous affairs? You have to know when you're being manipulated.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Great. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling that you deserve better. And I'm going to ask you to breathe. Level in your stomach. Zero to ten? Probably still like a point five. Like, it just, it's hard to explain, like, it just feels like there's something there.

Okay. Yep, yep, yep. But about a point five, right? Mm hmm. Okay. A little bit different or a lot different than it was at a level five? Yeah. Different. Okay. How much do you notice that it's a big difference in feeling? It feels, it definitely feels like lighter. Okay. Like, not as heavy. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

Now, I want you to notice also how much he has painted a feeling that you don't like his wife. Can you see that? Yeah. And how much is she the bad person? Oh, he definitely makes her out to be the bad person. He only says negative stuff about her. Uh huh. Is any of it true? I don't know. So why is he with her?

And how great would it be if you got to be her? So then he's always saying negative things about you to the women he's having an affair with if you guys got together. How amazing would that be? Yeah, that's pretty crappy. It's really crappy if you're not, like, if I ask you, by the way, how often, before you divorced your husband, how often you went around speaking poorly about him?

Not, I mean, not like he, like, you know, you complain to your girlfriends and stuff about stuff, but I don't think I ever would intentionally go around saying mean things about him. And how long do you think he's been doing that about his wife, and how many affairs, and all of his affairs, and blah, blah, blah, blah.

But, like, look at his manipulation, dear. It's just mean. He's not a nice human being. Who would do that to their wife? Mm hmm. And if you would do that, then leave the relationship. Do you see who he really is? Yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe and level of discomfort in your stomach and also in your legs.

The stomach is probably almost gone. My legs, I just got up, it's, it's definitely not as stiff as it was before, like I can move easily. Mm hmm. Okay. And what's the level? Any stiffness? Eh, yeah, maybe like a 5. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and I'm gonna ask you to close your eyes, and if I ask you 0 to 10, the voice in your head that says…

But I'm different to him this time. Zero to ten, how much can you hear that voice? Probably still there, like a point five to one. Okay, so I would say it's there at about a level, about a level three is what I would have said. Okay, but I love your awareness. I love your awareness that you see it. Right?

Because you want to tell yourself that, and not only that, but he's been manipulating you for quite a while now. So, I'm not gonna push anymore, because I also know that there's a discomfort, and it's a lot to digest, and it's a big shift, and, and all of these things, but what I want you to see, is I want you to see that your own body, that your own, that beyond Brandy, you can see your body responding to The changes, right?

Yeah, definitely. And I want to invite you also to, you know, when you have this genuine feeling in life that says, I deserve a great life and that I deserve to be treated a certain way. And that also that you have it as part of your constitution of just who you are, that you are in integrity and it's just who you are.

Life is easier and better and more generous in a, in a wonderful way. And I want to invite you to take that in. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful. All right. So one last thing. So I want you to notice how many of the emotions that I pointed out of him making you feel special and her, the bad guy, and he's making you feel like a priority, even though that's not the reality.

Can you see all of that? Yes. Yes. So what I want you to do is I'm asking you to close your eyes. And I'm going to tell you that beating yourself up or feeling shame or guilt or bad is not the answer. It's not the answer. So don't beat yourself up. Don't feel shameful. Don't feel guilty. Don't, that just creates a whole bunch more stuff.

Just take action from the right thing. Move in the right direction. Understand that you got sucked in. And get yourself out of it. It's like somebody who gets sucked into a drug or alcohol or this, that, and they go, Whoa, I'm getting sucked into X, Y, Z. I cannot do that. Let me pull myself out of that. I want to invite you to have that same willpower and the same knowingness and to see what's really happening and what's really there.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Beautiful. Um, and I'm gonna ask you to bring in the feeling that I understand you have a lot of emotions going on, a feeling of, of wanting him, of craving him, because let's be honest, again, like if I said, Oh my gosh, here's a pile of white powder. How many people would say, Oh my God, I just have to have that.

Powder, that baby powder, or whatever it is. Nobody will, okay? But when it's a drug that makes people feel a certain way, people are, become addicted to it, right? Yeah. So what you really want to do is put in perspective that the package that you're chasing, which is a man who speaks poorly about his wife, who doesn't just leave, who has multiple affairs, who's lying all of the time.

Okay, so he's a liar. To be able to have multiple affairs, you have to be really good at lying in a relationship. So you have somebody who's lying, who is not faithful, who speaks poorly about his wife. That's not the type of guy that you want, but that's what you really have, and you're addicted to the way he makes you feel, because he's good at manipulating.

And that's what you really have. And even if he heard these, even if you said, Hey, this is how blah, blah, blah, he would be so good and so quick to come up with all of the reasons that this is different and no blah, blah, blah. But he's not who you want. I want for you, I hope for you something different. You deserve better.

Yeah, I do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. And your daughters deserve better. Your family deserves better. Okay? So, I'm going to ask you to breathe, and 0 to 10, if I ask you how kind you're going to be to yourself, what would you say? And I expect nothing less than a number 11. 20. Good job. There we go. There we go.

You're beautiful. And, uh, and make sure to be lovingly kind and supportive to yourself, but make sure to do the right thing, okay? I will. Thank you, Brandy. You have been great. You're absolutely so welcome. And you're so beautiful and I hope you see that in you, um, and, uh, and let's see you do this. Okay. I will.

Thank you. You're welcome. Bye now.

All right. So let's go ahead and unpack this even more. And you know, first and foremost, I just love Sally's self awareness, her self honesty, and I love that she's going to change it because, you know, clearly she's making some mistakes here, which is a bit of the. Theme right here that we can learn from other people's mistakes.

And one of those is this, is that she is very sucked into this guy and he's very manipulative and you can tell, and he's lying and he's speaking poorly about his wife and he's had multiple affairs before. And it really tells you about this guy's character and who he is. And so one of the insights that I want to invite you to take from this is to make sure to really pay attention.

More than just what people tell you, but what they're willing to show you, what you can see from them. And that you can apply towards. anything towards politics, towards relationships, towards even healing, you know. And by the way, that's part of the reason that I love to not only demonstrate people releasing pain, but that's also the reason that I've made a point to do it and show it under medical equipment so you can actually see it.

And I have to say, I have worked with several people throughout the years who were people who were Pretending to be psychic, who were pretending to be healers, who were pretending all kinds of things. And so point being is that really any area of life, you want to pay attention to what people are showing you more than just telling you.

And of course, I don't want to put Sally as the complete victim because she also knows what she's doing wrong, but then it's like the mind justifies it and you know, just all of these pieces. So either way, that's number one is. Pay attention, notice people's actions, who they are, what they show you, not just what they tell you.

So, that is a key insight that I want to invite you to take away. Now, another key insight is this, is that, as you'll recall, when I started working with Sally, she mentioned her and her husband had gotten a divorce and that her husband had wanted to stay together and Be in the relationship, and she's the one that wanted to leave.

Now, something we can learn from this is that all of the time I'll see people who are in relationships who aren't feeling appreciated, who aren't feeling loved. And so I want to invite you to ask yourself the question that in your relationships, whether it's a romantic relationship or your family relationships, your friends, your connections, are you making a point to make sure that your loved ones?

If you loved and acknowledged, do you give that in your relationships? And if not, maybe you could make a point to do that even more. And so that's another insight. And lastly, in the beginning of this episode, I had been talking to Sally about really setting herself up for success to make the change, you know, even if she's working with this man, her.

The man she's having an affair with to maybe change jobs or move her desk or do whatever she needs to do to set herself up for success. And I want to invite you to think about that very thing because all of the time people try to make changes in their lives, but they don't really set themselves up for success.

So their effort might be a two or a three, you know, just minimal effort. So then it fails. They try really hard to do something, but the plan isn't logical. They don't really set it up to help themselves succeed. And so that is the other insight that I want to invite you to take away from this is because I want you to notice that Sally mentioned that she had tried to cut off the relationship previously, but she hadn't been successful at doing so.

And so the more you know yourself and the more that you can set yourself up for success, the more you can really achieve your transformation, your goals, the things that you are wanting. in your own life. All right. So those are the insights from today's episode. And I want to ask you, as always, please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode.

You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and empowered that every single person is. The Better This World is for all of us. And so please do make a point to hit the share button and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, fantastic, best of your day.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself Change. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your [00:34:00] mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really.

As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results.

But the point. For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made.

You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on [00:35:00] in our minds at a deeper level than people. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my [email protected] slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.

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Also, please remember that genuine change and follow through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor.

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