214 Transcript: Flourishing in Life: The Power of Self-Love and Letting Go of Self-Judgment

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. That changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind Your emotions and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I love everything about today's episode. It is just so sweet and so on point. And our volunteer is funny. And also vulnerable and self aware and just beautiful.

And the topics that come up are just so on point for a lot of people. You know, some of it has to do with feelings of self love or even putting pressures on self or feeling pressure from life or self motivation. I mean, just a lot of key topics come up that can be really pivotal in your life. As you master these topics.

And so for that reason, I just love this episode and also, of course, our volunteer. You know, I feel so blessed. We always get the best volunteers. Just sweet and aware and kind and loving and just great. People and our volunteer today, her name is Nicole and today is actually part three. So the final part of her session.

And so just looking at the big picture, I had an hour ish long session with her where there was a lot of information, everything from feeling guilty about work and feeling critical about money and self critical about money and feeling angry and judgment. Towards work and, and also just a lot of different emotions came up even as far as pharmaceuticals and testing on animals.

And, you know, we kind of unpacked some of those fears and stress and negativity. And the beautiful thing is, is that she's been able to release her pain and that is really impressive. And some of the topics that came up to really create this shift in her life also had to do with, you know, things like self love and also kindness, self kindness, creating a shift in her life.

And so that's where we're going in this third segment. And so, as you may recall, she does work in the pharmaceutical industry. And so that was part of her feelings of self criticism and self judgment and judgment of others and, and just a lot of different. stresses and feelings that came up for her. And so, uh, that's where we're going as we dive into today is looking at the rest of creating this beautiful shift in her life.

And so that said, let's go ahead and dive in with our wonderful volunteer. Nicole, here we go.

So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And on that note, if we could expand it. What if you had permission to love yourself even more, and to allow yourself to have, and then it's not selfish, but you could give yourself permission to have, what would that look like? I have this crazy thought that I, uh, get lazy when I, you know, when I think everything about me is okay, I'm fine, you know, I think I get lazy.

If I don't beat myself up, which is stupid because beating myself up doesn't get me anywhere either. So, you know, I don't know why I do that, but this is what I feel inside. Can I ask you a question real quick? Can I ask you a question real quick? Sure. Is stupid a judgment?

I don't know, is it? I'm not judging you, or is it a judgment? Oh, that was not nice. That was not nice of yourself at all. Uh uh. No, it's That was not nice of yourself at all. Oh, that was You should apologize to yourself. I know it's a, yeah, it's a judgment, but it's a fear, you know, it's like, if I like myself too much, I get, yeah, I get lazy and, and I.

Basically, I'm okay with who I am, and I think I just need more Wait a sec, wait a sec, wait a sec, wait a sec. It's a good thing you're not judgy, cause wow, we would really have to work on that judgment. But it's a good thing, yeah, I don't see any pattern of judgment at all. No, I'm very advanced at that.

Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This was not supposed to be a segue to be condescending to yourself. Okay, so, alright, alright. Oh, that's better. Cut. Alright, so I'm gonna ask Breathe. And let's go back. Bingo. So give me one second. So thinking about this for a moment. So all right, there's a few things.

All right. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to think about, remember when I said to you, if you're trying to get somewhere in life and you keep beating yourself up and you keep beating yourself up and you're trying to kick yourself and, and trying to beat yourself up while you're trying to live your best life, how does that go?

Not good. Not good. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to agree. In a different direction. Yes, in a different direction. So I want you to think about how much you are gonna flourish if you keep beating yourself up. Apparently, not at all. Okay, so wait a sec. So I want you to think about this for a moment, right? So, notice how you said if you feel great about life, then you get lazy, right?

Now, I want you to think about this for a moment. Let's say that there's a lazy kid. There's a kid that's quote unquote being lazy, which we'll unpack that too. But I want you to picture there's a kid that's being quote unquote lazy on the couch, on the sofa, right? Now, you could. If you said to that kid, Hey, by the way, let's get up and go to Disneyland.

It's going to be fun. Or let's get up and go do this. It's going to be fun. Or let's get up and go do this and this and this and this and this. It's going to be fun. How motivated would that child want to be? Yeah, 100%. 100%. But let's think about a better form of motivation, right? We'll go ahead and beat the kid up.

We'll say, Hey stupid, what are you doing? You're a loser. Which one do you think is going to motivate the kid even more? Yeah. The Disneyland, of course. Okay. So, if when you felt comfortable in life, instead you said, okay, hey, what are my next goals? Let me motivate myself. Let me follow through. Let me do this.

But it wasn't judging or attacking yourself. What does that look like? That will be a whole new concept, basically. Exactly. Cause I haven't been doing this for, I don't know, ever. Okay. Cause the Gill comes in, you know, when, when I want something like the Disneyland. Yeah, of course he wants to go there.

Cause it's fun. And then I'd feel guilty, you know. He's greedy. He's so greedy. Okay, now by the way, you remember a while ago when I said the most important thing that I feel like you need to work on to get out of this spiral is judging others and judging self. Do you remember me saying that? Now do you see why?

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just, I love her. I love her sense of humor, her self awareness, also her vulnerability, because under all of this, there is that feeling of. Being vulnerable and also of really needing to make a shift. Now, what I love about this is that if you think about last episode, we talked about judging others and that when our minds work in that way, when we're judging others and judging others are critical of others, it also impacts us because our mind gets used to working in that way.

It can equate to a lot of feelings of self judgment, even if you're not aware of it. It can happen because it can happen all very unconsciously. The other thing that can be tricky is this, is that when it comes to feeling self critical or self judgments, a lot of times people will immediately assume that that has to be auditory, you know, that the brain is saying, Oh, I'm stupid or, Oh, I'm judging myself or whatever it is.

But these can be emotions. Just as much as they could be, uh, an actual thought. Meaning that somebody can walk around feeling critical of themselves, feeling bad about themselves, feeling embarrassed about themselves, or feeling disappointed in self or, you know, judgmental of self where they're feeling this without ever having an actual auditory thought about it.

And a lot of times people can have these feelings that. They're so used to them, it just becomes their norm that they On a regular basis, walk around feeling judgments towards self or critical towards self, and it's just become their normal way of being and feeling. And so if that's true in your life, you'll definitely want to shift it.

But keeping in mind that if you're judging others, then it's likely at an unconscious level that. You're being critical of self. Now, the other thing is, is noticing how there's a part of her who feels like if she stops being critical of herself, that she's going to be lazy. If you think about it for a moment, that doesn't make any sense.

So when I use this example of the child, it doesn't make any sense. Instead, you know, you want to make sure to have a habit of looking forward to things. And if you don't have that habitual way of thinking and feeling, you'll want to establish it. I mean, let's be honest, you know, I went through my injury for a long period of time where I didn't have it.

And I had to reestablish that because, you know, I, I'd lost it. When you lose hope, when you feel like there's no possible way to heal, to get better, to, you know, have a great life. And you're in that place for a while. You can lose that feeling of having something to look forward to, you know, it just, you go through the thick of it.

So I completely understand if you have lost it or even if you've never had it, but either way, you want to make sure to establish that. Think about the things that you are looking forward to and what motivates you and establish that as a habitual way of thinking and feeling are so important. And of course, Criticizing yourself or judging yourself isn't going to make that happen.

And neither is putting a ton of pressure on yourself either, which is where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Nicole. Here we go.

All right. So what if we said this? What if we said that you're going to stop having pressure of that feeling of feeling like you need to get out of the pharmaceutical industry, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that you're going to stop having any pressure about that at all. And you're going to stop having any pressure for the next four months.

And instead, you're just going to be kind and loving and wonderful to yourself. And then, in four months, you're going to reassess, and you're going to see what feels good to you. And think about it then, but you're not going to think about it at all. Instead, you're just going to enjoy and think about what could be Disneyland.

What could feel like fun to you. Does that make sense? Mm hmm. Yeah without judging anybody and without judging self. How would that feel to you? Very good. The pressure taken off Exactly now by the way So let's say that you set that up for four months from now or three months from now or something like that and you do That and you say okay.

Look it instead I'm just going to actually love myself and be kind to myself. And then the other thing is, is that if there's something that you're wanting in life that you find yourself, you go, Oh, I want this, or I want that. You go, Oh, well, let me just picture that. Let me start picturing what would happen if I did have that.

So instead of judging it, instead of feeling bad or, or selfish or any of that stuff, you said, Oh, Well, let me picture what would happen if that happened in my life. And so you started just picturing what that was. How would that feel to you? Good. Good. Good, good, good. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I said to you also, if I said to you that when looking at pharmaceuticals, if you just look at the data, uh, that there, there is data that they can be very negatively impactful.

Absolutely. And there are a lot of people who get addicted to them or hurt by them or all of those things. And that is true. We can see that. And then we can also see maybe in a situation where somebody is having a heart attack or something like that, that there are places where pharmaceuticals come in and they do actually.

offer some type of help to somebody where they can actually help save their life at time. Can you see that? Mm hmm. Yeah, sure. So would you say both could be true? Yes. Okay, so without judgment, and now would we say pharmaceuticals are perfect and yay everybody should be on them? No, we're not saying that at all.

But if I ask you just for a moment, if you were in that mindset, could you stop feeling guilty for a moment and stop feeling upset and just allow yourself to be for a moment? And then decide from that place with no guilt, your next level of life and what your next level is, how does that feel to you?

Well, that there is not really a choice. I mean, it feels good because, um, that's basically what I know I have to do, because there is no choice. I mean, So I want you to take that in. Notice there are no choices in your life. Is there, there's no choices, right? In your life? No, I mean, there's no choice, no other choice if I want to feel better and have a change.

Good. Okay. Okay, good. Good, good. That's what I meant. Good, good. Okay, I, I, I hear you. I got you. Uh, I, I, I assumed, and my apologies, that you were going to go back. No, no, no. No, no. I mean, I have to go get that mindset. You know, inside. Yep. And that's where the, that's where the, but that's, that's actually where the energy is.

So I want you to notice the part of you that says, I have to, I have no choice. So that's where it's coming from. So by the way, if I ask you how much you felt frustrated in life, because you have to do what you don't want to do. So that's actually why universe because I was like, wait a second, there's a reason that I'm interrupting.

There's an energy that's off and I feel it. So you get, you get to, you get to, you're excited. So you don't have to do anything. You don't have to like, I'm not going to force you to do anything. Can't force you. Don't want to force you. You're the power. Great. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to close your eyes. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice what it would feel like to allow yourself to just have a break. Not from life, but from you.

Yes. Feels very good. Instantly. Instantly. I just need a break for myself. Right? Yes. Except for if we even go beyond that. And what if instead of having That break from yourself. What if you actually take it to the next level and fall in love with yourself? So you do the exact you say, okay Look it for the next four months or the next three months for the next period of time I am literally just going to think about the things that I love about myself and with no guilt and I'm gonna do that No judgment towards others either What would that feel like for you?

Good. Sounds very good. Is it? Great. It feels exciting, actually. I like that. I like that. I like that. Okay. So that's where I actually want to have you go is exactly that is I want to have you not judge others, not judge self. Now, by the way, if I told you I'm feeling a ton of pressure, a ton of pressure, a ton of pressure of something, okay, ton of pressure.

If I ask you if somebody is under a ton of pressure, are they typically a little bit more? Uh, edgy or you're easily agitated. Exactly. Part of the problem is, is that not only are you pressuring yourself and also judging, like, so it's like this whole pressure cooker thing. You see it? Yeah. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and taking it back, okay, so taking it back as far as your spine goes.

Um, I'm wanting to make sure that there is a feeling that we're leaving with, that we're, we're with on that. Um, and if I dial that in even more, that it's, it's kind of like this, is it's, you know, the part of it. So, so if I were to dial it in even more, it's like the feeling of feeling like this job. Okay.

So let's, we'll, that's what we'll call it. This job. That supports you. So notice how the part of you says this job supports my life and I need it and I need it. And it's my financial support and I absolutely need it right. This career. This industry. Yeah. And then notice the part of you that's feeling guilt towards it, upset for it, judge it, pissed off at it, blah, blah, blah, and all those things, right?

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. That cycle is the one that I want to invite you to get out of to also, uh, shift everything with your back as well. Does that make sense? Mm hmm. Yes, absolutely. Beautiful. Alright, so I want to invite you to come back and listen to this. I want to invite you, so kind of bringing everything together, I want to invite you to set your calendar.

So, even as we wrap up, I want to invite you to decide. Is it three months? Is it four months? What do you think it is? So, you decide. Okay, so you're giving yourself permission. You're deciding what that is. Okay. So, and then from that place, um, I want to invite you to your, that you're not feeling badly about your job.

And by the way, you're not going to go the other direction and falsely go. Oh, my God. Pharmaceuticals are the best thing in the world. But, but you can look at it and be honest, right? So, um, so even if you think about with what I do, me all of the time, I'm like, energy work is amazing and you can transform yourself and it's incredible and.

It does take real change. We're not just sprinkling fairy dust on stuff. That it does take real change. And so there's, when you look at things for what's real, then you can, you can set yourself up for success. So, so thinking about that, you go, Okay, this is what's real. So I'm not going to judge it. I'm not going to criticize it.

Um, and then you give yourself a break from beating yourself up, um, hopefully a lifelong break, but either way, at least a few months. Let's start with a few months and, uh, and instead working on really, really loving yourself and bringing that in and no judging towards others. How does that feel to you?

Can you do it? Very good. Yes. Yes, I can. Yeah. I like that. I like that. Can I tell you? You have a beautiful heart. You're just, you're a sweetheart. Like underneath this, like you're just, you're so sweet and lovely. You're lovely. And I hope you see more of that in you because you're just, you are, you're beautiful and you're lovely and you just have this, it's just beautiful.

But I hope you start seeing it. So, um, and then also the other thing is that if you see something that you're wanting, that you allow yourself, you don't feel badly for wanting, you go, Oh, I would love to envision that. Okay. And it's not something that somebody else's. So it's like your own version. Does that make sense?

The guilt has to go. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. 100%. Beautiful. Beautiful. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you, beautiful. So make sure to follow through. Yes. And, uh, and great job getting rid of your pain. Fantastic. Thank you. Thank you for taking the time, Brandy. Thank you very much. You are absolutely so, so, so welcome.

All right. So, uh, let's bring everything together. You know, first and foremost, I just love her. She's just such a sweetheart. I love her self awareness. I love her personality. Just, just a sweetheart. And also thinking about these topics of feeling under pressure and pressuring the self and also being so critical of self and When you stop and think about it for a moment, if we're really going to flourish in life, we have to be kind to ourselves.

And by the way, I can tell you, I remember the very moment during my injury when, you know, I was just in this place of feeling critical of myself because I couldn't do all the things that I used to be able to do. And it took me a while to do this and that. And, and, and I remember thinking, you know what, look, I have to stop beating myself up.

I have to stop pressuring myself and instead. I've got to really shift this energy. And so I want to invite you to look at that in your life and notice if you are being critical of yourself, if you are beating yourself up, if you are pushing yourself and instead get yourself excited to follow through.

You know, now in life, I have to tell you, I can't remember the last time that I had to set an alarm clock to wake up and to be impeccable with my words. I've set alarms. I know when I've stayed up a bit late, I've. Set an alarm just in case, but I wake up before it goes off, you know, looking forward to the day and waking up and just being alive.

And I want to invite you to really delve into that feeling, if you can, in your life and look at what it would look like to just genuinely feel excited about life. Feel excited about your future. Now, by the way. Some people would say, Oh, well, I don't have anything to be excited about. Remember, during my own injury, I got myself excited about life when I was injured.

And so I want to invite you to think about creating a shift at that level, because even when you see me and I'm working with volunteers and we're creating a shift. It does take reinforcing it to embrace a real change, a real emotional, energetic change. Your emotions are different, your energy is different, and you're radically feeling that.

And so that's what I want to invite you to look at today, are the very things that our volunteer. Nicole, that she's looking at, you know, are you pressuring yourself? And if so, how could you shift that? And instead of having a feeling of pressuring and being critical of self, could you shift your relationship to one of self love and self support?

And are you really willing to be kind to yourself? And by the way, is there a part of your mind that It feels like you have to be really hard on yourself or you're going to be lazy. And if so, could you find a better, more effective, healthier way to motivate yourself so you feel good and alive and happy and healthy, you know?

So it really checks all of the boxes. It actually gets you to take action, to do things, to enjoy life. And so these are the takeaways that I want to invite you to look at in your life. And I want to invite you to just look at one piece and see if there's something that you could begin implementing in your life today.

So that would be beautiful. And I want to also ask you if you could please make a point to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy that every single person is in this world, The better this world is for all of us.

And so please do make a point to hit the share button. And please do make a point to have a most wonderful, happy, healthy day connecting with family and friends and loved ones and being nice to yourself. So you can flourish in this beautiful life. All right. So it has been such a pleasure and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point. And the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone.

What we are all capable of. And of course each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible.

And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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