216 Transcript: Restoring the Magic in Your Relationships, Health & Life

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. That changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your. Consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I want to warn you, I guess on today's episode, you're absolutely going to fall in love with our volunteer. She is just such a sweetheart.

She has a beautiful accent and she's just so brilliant and smart and sweet. And you're just going to love her. And the insights that come from today's episode are really profound, especially if you have kids or if you've lost some of the magic in your relationship or you fit, you know, where maybe there's disagreements or some stress going on in your relationship, or if you're stuck in feelings of overwhelm or physical pain, or even.

Um, struggle with feelings of self care, of being able to feel like you're allowed to do things for yourself without feeling guilty. That is also something that comes up on today's episode. So there are just really so many different nuggets in today's episode about creating real change. And that is actually another piece that I really love about today's episode is that, you know, all the time, if you've listened to past episodes.

You'll hear me working with people to help them to, you know, shift their mindset to create changes to free themselves of physical pain or emotional pain or, you know, all different types of ailments. Now, what I also love about this episode is that it really starts to illustrate what a real transformation looks like.

Looks like where there is both, you know, change on the inside where you're looking at things in a different way, where you're really clearing blocks and changing the way you see things and the way you think about things. And then you're also then changing your actions and looking at actions in a different way.

So that's another thing that I really love about today's episode, because, you know, all of the time on. Um, other episodes, you'll hear me say, you know, I make this change look really, really easy, but you need to make sure that it really is a genuine, authentic change. And again, this episode just illustrates that so beautifully.

So I love that. And on that note, let's go ahead and dive in with our beautiful volunteer, Kerry. Here we go.

Hello. Hello. Hi, Carrie. Hello. Yes. Hello. How are you? Sorry. I'm a bit croaky. It's five in the morning here. Oh, it's five in the morning. Your time? Five 30. Yeah. Okay. Um, I set my alarm clock and I'm up and about, so it's like I'm a morning person anyway. What time do you normally get up? Uh, well it's middle of summer here, so, um, it, the sun is getting, is rises very early cause we don't have daylight saving or anything.

So it's. It's usually light by about 4. 30 anyway. So, uh, and I've got kids, so I don't really get to in the morning anyway. Okay. Okay. Uh, so I have a question for you. Yes. Do you feel, uh, vibrant and wide awake or would you like to shuffle around the time to a time that feels a bit more easeful for you? Oh, no, no, I'm vibrant and wide awake.

Thank you, Brandy. Now I'm, I'm bright. I've had a cup of tea, just haven't spoken to anyone, so I probably sound a bit croaky. You're fabulous. Now I have to ask you, so you said it's around 5am, so you're in Australia, is that correct? Yes. Okay. And where is your accent from? Ah, yeah. Confusingly, I, England, I'm from Bath.

Yeah, right. So it's like, okay, the English accent Confusingly, I've been here 23 years or something, but I think I came out once the accent was entrenched. It's a beautiful accent. I love it. Thank you. It's beautiful. So what can I help you with today? Beautiful. Um, well, I feel a bit stuck. I feel like I can read.

I'm very, um, much and have been for about 10 years on sort of quite a spiritual journey. I'm aware of the right things to do, but I seem to be in this cycle, which having listened to many, many, many, many of your podcasts. Um, I seem to be, for want of better words, feeling stagnant and sort of, uh, the word putrefaction keeps coming into my head and I don't know, I have lots of, um, days where I feel really quite unwell for no known reason and ultimately, in terms of pain, I get lots of lower back pain, um, and sort of radiating discomfort down my thighs and things and uh, Some days there's just nothing and I feel great and other days I feel like I've been hit by a bus and I just don't understand ultimately and I feel there's a part of me you know when you've got like a little mouth ulcer or something and you stick your tongue in it to know that it hurts I feel like I'm in some sort of cycle where I almost imagine ill health, and I sound like I'm a bit crazy, but that's where I'm at.

Um Honey, I feel like everybody who was born in England is crazy anyway, so we don't have to Yes, maybe. Beautiful. And I'm just playing. I'm, I'm absolutely I know you are. Um, and you don't sound crazy at all. I, I absolutely understand. This is what's what's interesting about our minds is that it's almost like.

We can have some type of programming going on in our mind, and when we do, it's like our mind is stuck on a ticker in the way that we don't want it to go, and then you try to push away from it or do something else, and it's like stuck in a loop or in a, in a fuming or steaming or whatever it is, or fear, or it's just like it gets, I get it, it just gets sucked in, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. So, you don't sound crazy at all. You sound like you understand your mind and it's doing what you don't want it to do. And, uh, I hear you. I hear you.

All right. So, let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love her self awareness. I love her self honesty. And by the way, you'll notice going through the entire session. That her self honesty and self awareness, she's just really, really beautiful. And I love the way that she knows what's going on in her mind.

Like she can see, Hey, my mind is just stuck on, you know, this keeps going in the wrong direction. And so often that is the very thing that people are experiencing. Now, of course, somebody's mind might consistently go in 20 different directions where it's not where they want to go, or. 10 different directions and maybe four directions are really great and six of them aren't or vice versa.

Whatever it is, the thing you'll want to note right here. Is that anything that your mind is doing, it's doing it for a reason. Now, by the way, on this note, in past episodes, if you've heard me say before that, you know, meditation could be nice in some places, but for healing and for mind programming, we really need to take it to a deeper level.

You know, meditation is not enough. And that's the reason for that is because. Everything that our minds do, it is doing for a reason. And so a lot of times when people are just working on using meditation, they work on trying to silence this and get rid of it. So their, so their brain isn't doing it anymore.

So that's a lot of times what happens is a person can really work with meditation and work with meditation and try to silence their mind or quiet their mind from doing this or try to get their mind to focus really, really, really hard on something else or breathing or whatever it is. And they're trying to control their mind.

So it's a sense of mind control to stop doing this. But the problem is, is it's not really rewiring what's happening at the subconscious level, you know? So it can increase neuroplasticity, of course, which is, you know, the ability to, to make changes in the brain, but it's not really rewiring it. And so instead it's just.

Quieting it, if you will, or controlling it, if you will. Now, another way to illustrate that would be to picture a projector. Now, if you think about a projector, it projects an image on a screen. Similarly, your mind programming that is in your mind, in your subconscious mind, projects thoughts into your mind.

So, when I'm working with people, A lot of times what I'm looking at is what is beyond the projection. So other than the picture, what is actually reflecting that? What is creating that? What is the source of that? Because if I just follow the picture, and using this analogy of the projector, if I just follow the picture, I'm not going to find the source.

But instead, if I find the projector, what is projecting this? Then I can help a person make the changes there. So basically, if that makes sense, our thoughts are a reflection of deeper programming, but things aren't always what they seem and are typically not what they seem, and then what happens is people will chase the image.

And by the way, you'll see more of what I mean coming up when we start to look at what's really going on in her subconscious mind and also what helps her to release her pain. So you'll see what happens coming up. Now, one other quick note is just the 5 a. m. comment about getting up at 5 a. m. You know, I have to say, I love The 5 a.

m. hours. I love the 3 a. m. hours, to be honest with you. So those morning hours are really, really great, just typically people aren't doing a podcast at that time in the morning. So that was why I, you know, offered her to do a different time. So I don't want you to feel like morning times are a negative time or anything like that.

Technically speaking, for me personally, I love those hours when it feels like the entire city is sleeping, so I either love to stay up till like two or 3am at night, or I even love to get up at 3. 30 or 4am in the morning when it feels just like the entire city is asleep. You know, it feels like you can hear the earth even more, if you will, you know, just the feeling of mother nature and trees and And the sky and the moon, it just, just this feeling, you know, it's just, it's a wonderful energy.

So anyways, I just didn't want to make it sound like 5 a. m. was a terrible time. It's just an interesting time to record a podcast, which was perfect because of course the sun was up in Australia and also our beautiful volunteer, Carrie, got a bit of time to herself to really reflect and to create these changes, which are pivotal.

And so that said. Let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Kerry. Here we go.

Um, all right. So as far as physical pain, are you experiencing any physical pain right now? Uh, just in my hip joints, yes, but not too, it's not terrible. It's probably a, to rate it as you do with people, probably just a five or a six. Okay. Well, that's all. We'll just leave it there. I mean, I'm just joking.

I'm just joking. I literally have to, like I had a cesarean with one of my kids and I actually have to roll out of bed. Like I've had a cesarean section some mornings and I just, yeah, it really hurts sometimes and I can't pin more. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. I understand. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

I'm going to ask you to breathe and, um, and give me one second just looking at your energy and looking at your body and your hip and, um, and I'm going to ask you, as we move forward, can we agree that there is zero self criticism? Can we agree on that? We can agree. Great. Fantastic. Fantastic. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and if I ask you zero to ten, how much there's a about not being able to do things for yourself, uh, because of, of your family responsibilities.

What would you say? I, yeah, um, an 8 or a 9. Mm hmm. 8 or 9 or 12 or something. Or 50, yeah. Or 50. I was gonna say that. Look, you're spot on. Yeah. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you to notice the frustration, and then I also want you to notice the guilt for feeling that way. And then I want you to notice the frustration and then the guilt and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, how many kids do you have? I have two. You have two. Plus my husband. What's that? Plus your husband. Plus my husband, yeah. Okay. So, um, if I ask you, what would it look like if you had time to yourself? And time to do things for yourself, what would that look like? For me, I would feel like I'd feel like I'm able to cope with everything else so much better.

I feel peaceful and grounded and composed. Whereas at the moment I'm in a state of chaos, particularly because it's the end of the year with children and school and stuff, but, um, I don't know how to break away. Mm hmm. Okay. And by the way, if I ask you how old your children are, what would you say? They're 11 and 13, so getting older.

Yeah. Okay. All right. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you how much time you feel like you would need and when. Like if you organized your time. It wouldn't be very much. I don't need a lot. Wait a second, wait a sec. Notice where you go first. It's not very much, I don't need a lot. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.

Yep. Okay? So we're starting out with scarcity. Yes. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, what would feel good to you? Um, maybe two times a week, an hour, an hour here, an hour. Okay. So two times a week, an hour and an hour, right? Yep. Okay. Great. Now if I ask you, honestly, if you really tried and you put that on the schedule, could you set that up?

I could. I definitely could. Yep. You could. Now if I ask you zero to ten, bingo, there's a few things. Give me one second. Okay. So, there's another, uh, practical piece that comes in, and it's this. Mm hmm. Bingo. It's that, uh, how old are your children? 11 and 13. You're 11 and 13, okay. Now, do they have different habits right now?

Extremely. Bingo. And, how much would you say they've changed since they were like 4 and 5? Oh, as much as you can change, yes. Great. Okay. So if I ask you how much you'd be willing to change your parenting? To see what you could hand off more or see what you could change to make things more efficient. Yeah, it's true.

It's true. I've probably still got the same lens as a number of years ago, and I don't still need to be doing that. Bingo. So if I ask you, what things could you have them help with that would help you have more time for yourself? Well, it's been something that sounds very trivial, but I've been thinking of my oldest should be learning to just prepare a few items of food for himself.

He's, he's not particularly capable in the kitchen, very capable young man, but not, not very hands on around the house at all. So there's any number of things he could do. That would be better for him into adulthood. Anyway, ah Well, so you'd or you know, he's he needs to start adulting a bit because he wants to be an adult in many other ways Exactly exactly.

Well said I love it. Yeah now Is your younger, the 11 year old, is that a boy or a girl? It's a boy. He's a boy. He's a boy. Okay. So you have two boys. I do. So what would happen if you could make them enjoy cooking? And I say make, but if you could get them to enjoy cooking. What would that look like? It would look fantastic.

It would take some pressure off, certainly, because food is quite a pressure in our house with two growing boys. And, um, it wouldn't matter if it was scrambled egg or an omelette or something for dinner for one night a week to give me a little bit of. Time away and to give them some skills moving forward.

Exactly. Absolutely. So, not only that, but thinking about this for a moment, you have two growing boys and food is a bit of a thing in your house, right? Yes, it definitely is. Yep. So, how do you think that's going to be in two years for these two growing boys? Yeah. You know, times, times another 50. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Okay. So thinking about that. So I love that. So maybe they start cooking with you one night a week where it's like, okay, the older one cooks with you one night a week, the younger one. And then it becomes something that becomes a fun bonding thing. And then it also then becomes something that says, okay, now it's your turn.

You plant, you're planning meals on such and such date. How would that feel to you? Yeah, I think it would feel quite liberating. While you're saying it, I can feel that that feels good. Right, that feels good. Good, good, good. So, so thinking about that, I want you to notice for a moment the part of you who feels guilty at the idea of taking time for yourself.

Yeah, definitely. Zero to ten, how much? A nine, nine, 50, somewhere in there, right? So I'm with you. Okay. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I was going to say, I sometimes look at other parents obviously being, and I'm like, why, why aren't you struggling with all of this workload? Like I am, but that's my inner thoughts. Just looking out because everybody seems to be managing so well.

And yet I find it incredibly busy and hard to manage. Okay. Yeah. And I would say this. Okay. So I want you to think about just for a moment, a child who's doing math in third grade. Yeah. Right? And let's say there's two of them. One child who's doing math in third grade who is like, right, going through the math and doing great.

Acing everything. Yeah. And another one who's sitting there struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling. Right? Yep. Now, the thing of it is, we all have brains. We can learn to do anything. But when we have hidden blocks and unconscious blocks towards things, it makes it really hard. Just like a writer with writer's block.

You know, you can have a genius writer who's just brilliant, who's written the most brilliant things, and then suddenly they have writer's block and they're like, I just can't write. I'm stuck. So the thing of it is, is that part of the reason that it feels stuck is because you have so much guilt if you are taking time for yourself.

Can you see that? I can see that. Definitely. Okay. And even notice when I said How much time would you like for yourself? And you were like, well, it's just, it would just need a tiny little, little itty bit for myself. And I know that I'm, I'm emphasizing it a bit because I want you to reflect on that. I just need just, just, just a little bit for myself.

Yeah, I did say that. And of course, I'm, I'm over, um, emphasizing it because I want you to reflect on that and I want you to instead say, okay, I deserve time for myself and I want you to feel good about it. Now it doesn't need to be half of the week or this, that, the other, you know, but, but, but I want you to feel good about it.

To where you feel good, where you go. Of course I need time for myself and I'm gonna ask you to repeat that and just take in the feeling. Of course, I need time for myself and I can have time for myself. Obviously, of course I can have time for myself. That was not very convincing. Of course, I can have time for myself.

Of course. Ah, of course. Yes. What does that feel like to you? It feels good because I, if I do get any down time, you're right, I tend to ruminate and feeling bad that I should be doing something else or that, you know, time is better used somewhere else when it's not. When it's not, right? So I want you to think about what that would look like to schedule time for yourself.

It's not hard. And to take that time. Yeah. What? It's not hard to schedule time. No. Yeah. Mm mm. Mm mm. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. Now, the problem is, is this also, is I want you to notice the part of you who feels like you need an excuse to take time for yourself. Can you see that?

Oh, very much. Very, very much. Very, very much. Okay, so the problem is that part of you, you remember how we talked about your mind was going in directions That you don't want it to go and and then you said you sound like a bit like a crazy person. Yeah Yeah, so part of the thing is is that your mind is wanting excuses To be able to take time for yourself.

And so don't just take time for yourself and feel horrible about it because then your brain is going to say, Oh, but I need an excuse to be able to do this guilt free. Yeah. Yeah. Then what happens is it can manifest problems and illness and yada, yada, yada. So you're not wanting that. And that's why your brain.

wants to feel stuck in that. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to notice what it feels like to be allowed to with no excuses. You have no excuses and you don't need an excuse. No excuses. You don't need a health issue. You don't need a problem. You don't need any issues. You don't need any excuse.

Yeah. Other than it just makes logical sense and everybody deserves that and you deserve that. Yep. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Good, good, good, good, good. And now, by the way, if I ask you how overwhelmed would you say your husband is? Not. Okay. So, bingo. And if I ask you, does your husband ever get time for himself?

Yes, he does, because he does shift work, so he has quite a lot of time to himself in the day when we're all not here. Okay. So if you think about it for a moment, I wonder then if on some days he could do maybe some meal prep or some things to help out with the food as well. He has been doing that because he has seen that we're in a bit of, uh, It's been a very big couple of weeks with one of my kids finishing up at school and stuff like that.

So he has been stepping up, but I do tend to have to ask, which sometimes is a bit of a source of frustration. I don't think that's any different to anyone else, but yeah. Okay. But, but this is the thing though, right? And I see this all the time. So I want to, I want you to think about the asking for a moment.

Let's analyze this. Now you, if you think about his job for a moment. Let's say that you went to his job and you said, I'm going to help you for the next couple of weeks. And, and you were going to do that, right? You were going to help him at his job for the next couple of weeks, right? Yep. Would you automatically know what to do automatically?

You just walk into his, his work and you would just know what to do. Or would you say, Hey, Tell me what you got, I'm gonna help you. Yeah, that's what, I wouldn't have a clue otherwise. Yeah, you wouldn't, exactly. You wouldn't have a clue otherwise, right? Yep. So now, who has been the person who has been doing the kitchen, the food, the kids, all of that stuff?

Who has been primarily doing that job? Me. Yeah. You. So I see this all of the time with women where they say, I shouldn't have to tell him what to do. And then I say this exact example, I say, okay, if you went into his work, suddenly would you all of a sudden know what to do? And then this is what they say.

No, but when it comes to food and things like that, it should be a no brainer because they know it, but this is the thing. And then men will have this thing where they don't want to get it wrong. They don't want to do it messed up. They don't actually, and I'm using genders, but it's not really a gender thing.

Cause it could be, I mean, vice versa. I mean, there are plenty of women that I know who've never cooked, but I'm just saying more commonly it is this. So if you think about it, what happens? If you took 10 minutes to write out directions on some of the ways that he could help out on his shift work, maybe you took 10 or 20 minutes or whatever to do that, and then he started helping out, how much more would that help you to not be overwhelmed?

Yeah, and our interact, myself and my husband's interactions. Yes. What's that? And, and our interactions, because it can get a bit feisty sometimes. Not too bad, but just where I'm just like, I've got this, this, this, this, this to do. I need help. I need help. And he'll be like, well, just tell me, what do we, what do I need to do?

Exactly. And then you're like, I don't want to have to tell you, you should just know. It's actually comical when you listen to it. Okay.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, again, I love her self honesty. I love her self awareness, just a beautiful, beautiful being. And also, I just really want to emphasize that when we have blocks, towards anything. It can make things feel like we're stuck. We can't change, we can't move, and we just feel like there's no way out.

And so, even some of the things that Carrie and I are talking about right now, there's a part of her that's excited about these changes, and there's another part of her that just knows that, like, she can feel it. Of course, of course, like, I've got this, like, Obviously, I can do this, you know, so it's that feeling of feeling like part of you says, okay, I know this, like I can do this.

But that's what happens is that if we're stuck in a lot of overwhelm and stress, then it's like we can't access what could otherwise also simultaneously seem obvious to our minds. Now, the reason I'm pointing this out is because If your mind is stressed, then likely your mind is blocking you or keeping you from making some changes that you could make to improve your life radically.

And so just food for thought. And this is also the reason that I say that is because in people who have chronic illness or chronic pain, it is extremely common. For people to feel stuck in life, like they are stuck financially or stuck, you know, that feeling of stuck between a rock and a hard place where there's no way out.

And so you'll hear me talk about that frequently because It is something that comes up where people feel stuck in their relationship or with their kids or with work or financially whatever it is and That there's no way out and a lot of times what then continues to happen is that you know, there's more stress There's more overwhelm.

There's blocks. There's no way to change it because a person can't see it And there's all of these things and many times, of course We can't see it when we're stuck in it. Okay. So just food for thought on that. And of course, the other thing is that, you know, when it comes to cooking or the kitchen, I am not trying to imply in any way that this is her job by comparing it to his job, you know, it's both of their jobs technically.

And so I'm not trying to imply that it is only that. Since she has been the one that has been running this show in this area. So it's just like handing off any project or work or whatnot. So just wanting to make sure to clarify that, that there's no assigning of roles where it is the woman's job to then cook.

So just noting that. And what I love is that she starts to see that as she actually shares some of this, these responsibilities, that it can actually be better. for her husband and better for her relationship. And I love where this conversation goes because reconnecting and reigniting and smoothing some of the things out in the relationship really can take it to the next level.

And so where this topic goes just really touches my heart. It makes me so excited for her and for her husband. It's just really sweet. When you look at the picture of where it's going and so on that note Let's go ahead and dive back in with our beautiful volunteer Kerry. Here we go

And now when you think about it, this will be an amazing thing when you say to him, you know what? So let's say after this today you say, you know, honestly, honey. I Apologize. You're right. I'm Expecting you to know everything and You don't and and and I get it and and and you do you're you're smart.

You're wonderful. You're great So I don't want to say you don't know. It's just that there is a routine of things and if it's okay with you I would like to start maybe making a little list or something. So then it makes it easy. So we're not having these Stressful fights anymore or there's that the other you know, yeah And so notice for a moment how I opened it up with You're right.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Right. So, acknowledging that acknowledging what he's saying as far as saying, okay, look, just. Just ask, and by the way, this makes, of course, both of you right. It's like, in some ways, you could say that you're right, that by now, he could have stepped up more, in that he could know by now. And, but now all of a sudden, you know, so, so we, we could both, we could look at both sides and say, okay, you're right.

And he's right. In some ways, a lot of times when there's a disagreement, both people can be right. And it's not about being right over the other person. It's about both people have their perspectives and honoring both perspectives, right? Yeah, yeah, definitely. So, so my point in saying that is I just didn't want to not honor your perspective because I see you.

I hear you. I feel you. I get it. And then also when he is saying, just tell me what to do. I see it. I feel it. And that is also a solution, right? Yeah. Bingo. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And again, I know, even as I'm saying this part of your mind is saying, okay, I've got, of course I could do it. Of course I could do this and I get it.

And that's the importance of going back to the block. And I want you to think about the part of you. Who's felt guilty about doing things for yourself. And then the excuse. And then also, I also want you to notice the part of you that has had this energy that says, I am super mom. I can do anything and everything.

Can you see that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's that? Some days.

Bingo. Well, there's like this feeling from your heart of wanting to do everything for your children. Can you see that? Yeah, definitely. Absolutely. And like you said, where it's time to start also, uh, helping them to start adulting more in the areas of responsibilities and all of that, right? Definitely. Yep.

Definitely. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. Now, this is what I want to be very careful of. Can you see the part of you that has had a habit and a tendency to shut down your own emotions and feelings and wants and all of that? Very much. Yes. Very much, okay. So, I want you just to repeat after me for a moment.

Brandy is acknowledging my emotions. Brandy is acknowledging my emotions. Yeah, so we see them. So, I don't want you to shut them down. I don't want, by, by saying your, your husband has, by opening the conversation with saying, hey, you know what, you're right about writing them down. Think about this for a moment.

If you say, If he's saying, just tell me what to do and you say, Hey, husband, you're right. Let me do that. Yeah. How much does that actually work in your favor? Very much. Very much. Right. So we can set aside, uh, uh, ego or this, that, the, but acknowledging, okay, Hey, you said this. Let me take you up on that actually.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. Instead of being upset by that. Let me take you up on that. And so, uh, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And instead of feeling shut down or wrong or, uh, or whatnot, I want you to feel like you can come alive and have a voice in what you're needing to get done and delegate. And so I'm going to ask you to bring in that feeling of having a voice or being able to delegate and share the responsibility and that you're opening up this part of you.

Who can have your voice, but in a productive way that it's working, that it's, um, that you're delegating even more. Yeah. Great. Bingo. Beautiful. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I say delegating, but I also, let's change maybe the, even the word to even collaborating. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

Now, if I ask you, will this require you to make real change? It will. It will. But you've got this, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm good at that. You're good at that. You're good at that. Bingo. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I want you to notice your level in your hip. Zero to ten. What's your level? Zero to ten?

Just a slight grumble. Two. Bingo. Two. Bingo. Bingo. That's what I said? About a two? Yeah. Great. Great, great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Now, I want you to also notice the part of you that is saying, Breathe. Breathe. but he won't, towards your husband, but he won't do it, or he won't do it right, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Can you see that? Yeah. Um, he, yes, not as much, but I can see that. About a level, I see about a level three. Yeah. Can you see? Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And I want you to notice just for a moment, people don't. At your husband's work, he's, he's pretty flaky. He doesn't show up.

You can't depend on him, right? The opposite. Oh, the opposite. You mean he's very dependable. He shows up and you can count on him at work, right? He's solid. Yeah. He's solid. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And I want you to notice for a moment how much you've been feeling like your husband is also your responsibility, if you will.

Can you see that? Yeah. Mm hmm. Do you see that? Now, if I ask What's that? Yes, I do see that. Mm-Hmm? . Bingo. So I want you to think about your husband being your responsibility, and then I want you to instead think about him being an amazing partnership. Hmm. Collaborator. Yep. And a teammate. Yeah. I want you to think about that feeling of teammate, that feeling, the team, the collaboration, the like, okay, hey partner, we've got this.

Hey, we can do this. That team feel. And then I want you to notice the part of you that's had the burden type feel, the responsible for him type of feeling. And if I ask you, how big of a shift in your relationship is that? It's a big shift. It's a big shift. It's a big shift. Now, I want you to notice just for a moment, let's say that he felt like he was responsible for you and you're a bit of a burden.

How would that feel to you? I can't comprehend that.

Now imagine if he felt like you are an incredible partner and team and that you guys are teaming together to take care of things. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Right. So my point is, is this, like, I want you to think about when you got married and when you got married, how much did you guys feel like a team?

Very united. We were, yeah. We are. Mm hmm. United, and that team feeling, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, I want you to think about that same feeling and putting that back in your relationship, that team feel. Yeah. How does that feel to you? It feels so nice to be back there. Mm hmm. Well, we'll say forward there, right?

Because it's next level. Forward there. Now, by the way, if I ask you, when you create that team feel with him. When you have that team feel, like, hey, we've got this, that team feel, if I ask you, does your attraction to him go up, down, or stay the same? Very much up. Bingo. So notice for a moment, not only would it be great for you, but it would also be great for him because then what happens is in your attraction to him goes very much up and he feels that.

And then it lights him up even more and it lights your relationship up even more. Does that make sense? It does. And I can see that he craves that from me as well. So you even might have him listen to this and think about or even talk to him about this and say, you know what I Realize I've been feeling like I have to take care of you and so I've been doing that because I want to I love you and I want to and so I do but then I Realize the more I do that It loses attraction.

And so if we get back to that team, when we married that feeling, I noticed that it just makes my attraction increase. And I love that. And I know that that's what you're needing. And I think that what's happening is because this has been out of balance, it's not meeting either of our needs at the level that we'd both like it to.

Right. So if you help me, I can help you like that organic shift will take place. Does that make sense? It does make sense. A lot of sense. I love that. I love it. I love it. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And if I ask you how excited you are to implement this in your life, what would you say? I'm ready to go straight out and start.

Yes. I love that. Yeah, I love it. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And, uh, no, I think it's better for everybody. If you don't get time to yourself, right. Don't, don't, don't make these changes. No, no. Exactly, so what I'm wanting you to notice, it's better for everybody, for you to not need an excuse to have time for yourself, but when you do this in the right way, in a great way, that it will literally, it will help your children with adulting, it will help your husband, it will help you feel better, like it literally, by shifting and giving yourself time.

And making those adjustments to take some of this overwhelm off, it will actually help uplift your life, your happiness, everything, your relationship, all of it. Does that make sense? It does. It's a big domino effect. It definitely does. It does. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So how guilty are you going to feel about giving yourself time?

No guilt. No guilt. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. But I mean, like zero to ten, how much do you, would you say you should feel guilty about giving yourself time? I shouldn't feel guilty. It's a normal way of living. Exactly. And not only that, there's no need to feel guilty because you realize as you care for you, you actually improve everything.

Yes. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So then if you want to take time for yourself two weeks from now, how guilty are you going to feel? I'm not going to feel guilty. What about two months from now? How much are you going to feel guilty? It will be just part of life by then. Okay, great. I love it.

I love it. I love it. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And so you can implement this without feeling any guilt. Bingo. I like that. I like that. I like that. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And you're leveling your hip. Zero to ten. Bingo. Nothing. That's what I have also. Nothing. Great. Fantastic. Fantastic job.

Fantastic. Can I tell you, I love your self awareness. I, I just, you have a beautiful, beautiful heart and fantastic job with your energy. Thank you, Brandy. Thank you very much. You are absolutely so, so, so welcome. Do you have any questions? Um, I don't think so. I think it makes absolute sense. And so it's just making sure I use these takeaways because they're, they're absolutely spot on.

Beautiful. I love it. Fantastic job with your energy and it has been such a pleasure connecting with you, beautiful. Thank you, Brandy. Have a good rest of the day.

All right, so let's go ahead and bring everything together. And of course, our volunteer. She's amazing. She's so beautiful. I just love her, her accent, her heart, her self-awareness, her self-honesty, just beautiful. And also, I love the insights from this episode, and I want to invite you to just think about one thing that you could take from this episode and see if you could implement it in your own life.

And maybe it's an actionable item to get out of overwhelm, or maybe it's even thinking about your relationship and thinking about where you were. When you got married or when you met or when you connected and asking yourself, is it missing some of that connection or passion, or are there arguments that keep coming up about something that aren't huge arguments?

Are the arguments that are consistently happening? And if so, could you transform that? Could you change that? Could you look at a way to really bring it to resolution? Because when there's issues that continue to happen over and over and over, that's the stuff. That kills relationships. That's the stuff that makes you fall out of love, where, you know, again, creates a disconnect with an intimacy.

And, of course, her and her husband are beautiful, and you can just tell how much she absolutely loves him. However, you know, if you think about their kids continuing to grow and things being, continuing to be in a state of overwhelm, you know, How does the relationship look five years from now, six years from now, if they haven't changed it, you know, more disconnect or struggles or resentment or frustration and all of that.

So the relationship starts to really break down in a variety of different ways. So when you just kind of look at that big picture and maybe looking at that in your own relationship and saying, Hey. It's time to make some changes. So that might be the insight for you. And so whenever that is, I want to invite you to look and see if you can apply.

At least one insight from this episode. And as always, I want to ask you to please take a moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and thriving and in love that.

Every single person is, the better this world is for all of us. And so please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode, and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, joyous, loving rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time, people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore. com/podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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