235 Transcript: Rewiring Emotional Patterns for Healthier Relationships and Self-Healing

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love how each episode just provides so much clarity. On patterns and things that you can do to really change your life, to heal yourself, to make a real change in your health, your happiness, your relationships, your actions, your healing.

I mean, just all of it. And that is so true with today's episode. Now, one of the many things that I love about today's episode is that our volunteer already has a really wonderful Relationship with her husband and she's already feeling very loving and sweet and just adoring him and he's adoring her I mean, it's just a really sweet Relationship and I can feel that and also there are some insights from today's episode that can help her To make her relationship even better and not just with her husband, but with her other relationships with people in general, including, as we'll discuss, even her neighbors and just a patterned ways of being and feeling that are not only great for her, of course, relationships, but also her health.

Now, another thing that I really just love from today's episode is this, is that all of the time when people hear about MindBodyHealing, either people You know, they'll think something like mind over matter or just pushing through, or they think about trauma healing and they go try to heal a specific trauma.

But ultimately the way that I work with the gift method and mind, body, energy, healing, and understanding the mind in a different way, what we're really working on. is patterned ways of feeling and thinking, not just a specific trauma. And it's a huge difference in the results that we can create when we're willing to look at things even in a different way.

And that's what I love is that as we go through today's episode, you'll see that with even more clarity. The reason that getting the patterned way of thinking and feeling is. So you'll see that from this episode and of course, so much more. Now, our beautiful volunteer, her name is Marie. And as you recall, I worked with her on last week's episode as well.

And ultimately what happened is I had a session with her that was maybe about 30, 40 minutes, but during this session, there were two different topics that we covered because she had had pain that was behind her teeth and, you know, tension, discomfort. And so. We worked on that for the first part of her session and then the second part of the session we worked on some other issues with which having to do with neck pain and discomfort and which then also pertain to relationships in a different way.

And so for that reason because it was too Very different topics. I went ahead and split that into two episodes. So last week we talked about the first part and she was able to release her pain. She did an incredible job and she also does an incredible job creating that shift with her neck pain and just her awareness regarding relationships and just all of it.

I mean, she just does an incredible job at creating that shift and also an incredible job at wanting. to change and embracing the change and her self awareness. I mean, it's all just so beautiful. And so that's where we're going with our beautiful volunteer, Marie. Here we go.

Okay. So it feels, I'm going to need an initial, but it feels like, it feels like a neighbor that's, um, kind of annoying. Do you know who that might be? Jay? Bingley? Wow. I mean, that's such a small thing. I don't Interesting. Huh. Okay. I don't think of her very often, but Okay. So, on that note, is there a part of you that wants to avoid her?

Hmm. Yeah. I'm, I'm not anxious to speak to them. Bingo. So if I ask you zero to 10, how much you would make a point to actually not want to see her? Yeah, I do. Yeah. She actually did something very kind for me not that long ago and, and a part of me wanted to go out and thank her and a part of me didn't, I guess.

I think they did something a while ago that was not very kind to my, my son. So I didn't realize, I don't know if I'm hanging on to that or Bingo. I don't know. Bingo. Okay. Okay. But, but it must be a longer pattern because I've had this for a very long time and Agreed. Um, I would say also, give me one second that So if I ask you to notice the feeling of, um, Holding on to a feeling of anger or resentment on the inside towards her, and quietly, and just not speaking to them.

If I ask you, kind of like this, okay, so recently they did something nice, correct? She did. Very, very kind. And you did not thank her? I, I didn't. I didn't thank her. And it was very unlike me. And I, I felt a draw to go out and thank her. And yet I can't, I can't remember if something else was happening and it just wasn't convenient.

I don't know, but yeah. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And it's like this feeling. So like you wisely mentioned that it's a pattern that's been going on for a while now. And so, There's this feeling of feeling like if somebody's wronged you, you're holding onto it quietly on the inside and just a feeling of avoidance.

Um, are you familiar with that pattern? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I'm going to ask you, and I think that would be very quiet because I, I don't really consciously feel like I'm holding on to it, but it's, it's, Hard for me to address it or I, I don't often in the past address. Things like that, and, and a part of me did, but, you know, correct it, but interesting that I was still hanging on to it and hadn't let it go.

Okay. So, um, bingo. Give me one second. Bingo. It's kind of like this feeling of feeling like if you've wronged my family, I'm gonna, there's a, there's a grudge holder there.

You laugh, you laugh, almost like you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I'm very protective of my family. That's true. That's true. Okay. Yeah. So, um, yeah, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. Bingo. Well, I definitely want to, want to give that up. I wasn't super aware of that, but thank you.

Absolutely. So, I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. There we go. And I'm going to ask you to notice a level in your neck, zero to ten. What's your level? Oh, it's better. And towards the, if I go towards the back, still, it's still right there, but it's, it's gone down significantly. I think that's more like a 2.

5. If I go straight 90 degrees, if I go, you know, a little bit more towards the back, it's still probably that four. Bingo. Okay. And, um, and I just have to say my teeth just feel so, so good. So thank you. I love that. I love it. I love it. I love it. Just beautiful, beautiful job with your energy. So I love that.

And, um, give me one second. So, if I ask you 0 to 10, like if somebody, like a neighbor or somebody has done something, if I ask you how much you can find almost the feeling of kind of giving the silent treatment, so to speak. If I ask. Yeah. I feel like my guard goes up. And Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And if I ask you, go ahead.

Yeah. And, and not wanting to, to speak to them or, yeah, I can see that. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you to notice that habitual way of feeling, of feeling like if something is off, Of bingo, of feeling like if something is off, um, like not wanting to speak with them, kind of like, um, feeling, um, Take my toys and go home, kind of.

Yeah. Not dealing with them. Yeah. And, uh, like feeling like they're just a pain in the neck, don't want to have to deal with them type of feeling, et cetera. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. And instead, what would happen if you had a pattern of either doing one of two things? Of just letting it go and saying, well, misunderstanding, whatever it is, letting it go.

Or even saying, well, I wonder why that happened? Let me change the pattern instead of getting upset, getting curious and saying, Oh, well that just happened and that was off. I wonder why that manifested instead of just being upset and holding on to it. Does that make sense? Yes. Yes, that does. Great. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe.

It's, it's kind of a more empowered feeling, isn't it? Wondering what, what my side of it was. Yeah. Or even just saying, yeah, why did that manifest? So absolutely. It was so much more empowering and absolutely that. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. And just even getting curious and saying, well, I wonder why that manifested.

Is that a sign that I need to change? Because, kind of like this, somebody might feel disrespected by something small, and instead of it needing to hold on to the grudge or anger, maybe instead what happens is they say, wow, I have had a pattern of feeling like I'm not being respected. Let me fix the pattern instead of just being angry on top of it, because if not, then emotion after emotion, we end up with the emotional layering, right?

Mm hmm. Okay. Great, great, great awareness. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Instead of holding a grudge at all, that you literally just, you're letting it go completely. Yeah. I don't want to hold any grudges at all. That's for sure. Great. Great. So what is Go ahead, I'm sorry. Yeah, I want to let it go completely and not hold anything gratis.

Beautiful. Beautiful. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And taking in the empowerment, the feeling of empowerment, not self blame, not blaming self, not feel bad, just curiosity and self empowerment. Like, Oh, I wonder why that happened. Oh, I wonder what I can change. And I'm going to ask you to breathe.

I'm very good at wondering. I'm very good at wondering. Great. And simultaneously, could you let go of the feeling of anger or injustice, the upset, the, the, the, Feeling of, of any of that, and that you don't actually need to be reactive. Right. I don't, I don't need to be reactive. Bingo. Bingo. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and notice your level of pain in your neck.

Zero to ten. What's your level? Oh, it's really good. Um. Maybe just a one? Bingo. And um, give me one second. Bingo. And I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I'm gonna ask you just for a moment also to notice that even in your relationship sometimes if you feel like you're not getting your way or being heard, that you might have a tendency to just kind of shut down and say, okay, well I'm gonna take my toys and go play elsewhere.

That same type of pattern. Can you see that? Yeah, I can. Okay, and so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And, again, if you were curious, but also not shutting down, not taking If you do take your toys and go play elsewhere, that you happily do that. without a grudge, without upset, or you just say you have a new patterned response.

So you say, Hey, you know, I'd actually really love to feel heard right now. Or even if you said, you know, I don't feel heard, but maybe in a while we can talk. I'd really love to hear you. And I'd love to be heard as well. And that would be really great. Can we do that? Right? So you have a new habitual patterned way of of navigating through that instead of feeling frustrated or upset or irked, um, so to speak.

Can you see that? Yeah, I'd love to have a new pattern. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I want you to think about exactly that. A new patterned way of being and thinking in those moments instead of I'm going to take my toys and go play elsewhere. I want you to think about what is your new patterned way of navigating that?

What is the new patterned response? What does that look like? Yeah, not, not being upset, but just, um, just being curious and, um, you know, wondering if, if it's good to address it now, or if we should address it later and not being angry and upset about it, but just, just curious. Not holding on to any anger.

That feels really good. Beautiful, beautiful. And so, if you think about it, developing, developing a new pattern, and by the way, it could be a combination, that if you notice that you have emotions of irritation, that you say, wait a second, you're going to clear your emotions, and that talking in an hour or so would be even better when you can be heard, from a calm place, from a place of feeling great.

So maybe, maybe that is the best plan or maybe even better, uh, you are able to not even get upset and create a say, Oh, I'm recognizing, I'm not feeling hurt or, and let me just having a pattern of being great at communication. And, uh, yeah, I like that being, being great at listening to people and being great at communicating what.

what I want and coming up with solutions together. Yep. And being great at not getting your feelings hurt. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get better and better at that. Absolutely. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe and I want you to notice the part of you who does feel upset and just want to shut down and go take your toys and go play elsewhere type of feeling.

And I'm going to ask you to breathe. And you're willing to change this pattern, correct? 100%. Bingo. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe and looking at changing that in your relationship to a pattern that's even more loving, even more connecting. And even if you said, Hey, you know what?

I'm, I am going to go take my toys and play elsewhere, but in a loving way. And we're just going to have like, You can do your thing, I'll do mine, we'll come back together, but just from a, a different emotional state that you're really just doing it in a, in a better way. And so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and I want you to notice a level in your neck.

Zero to 10. What's your level? Oh, I think it's a zero. Bingo. Maybe, maybe just tiny, tiny, tiny, but Exactly. I feel so much better. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful job. And so I would say, yeah, I, uh, I feel it vacillating between a zero and a point one and then a point, this very beautiful, beautiful, beautiful job.

Fantastic, fantastic job with your energy. So a few things to embrace, but remember you really, really following through to embrace this change. Does that make sense? It does. Yeah. Beautiful. Wow. I feel so much better. You're so, so welcome. I love your heart. I love your heart. I love your self awareness. I just, and I love your love for your husband.

It's so sweet. You're just, you're, you're beautiful. Fantastic, fantastic job with your energy. Oh, thank you. I'm, I'm really excited to, to make these changes. Thank you so much, Brandy. I've been looking to change this for a long time. So that's awesome. You are absolutely so, so welcome. So welcome, beautiful.

All right. So let's go ahead and unpack this even more. And first and foremost, I have to say, I just love so many things about our beautiful volunteer. I love her heart and her self awareness, just beautiful. Her desire to really want to change and transform herself and embrace change is beautiful. Now, what I also really love is this is on our recent IQ episode, we were talking about the importance of moving things forward.

So we were talking about what I call reverse emotional processing. And what that is, is that we must do things reverse from the norm. You know, when we think about it, when we have some type of negative pattern or issue, our tendency is to Try to address the stress itself, or to go back to childhood and try to immediately address the childhood emotions.

But from this episode, again, we can see the reason that we really need to program our minds about, you know, on what we want them to do first. You know, what is our new way of being? Because the more that we program into our minds, the solution and decide what we want our mind to do first. To do and our behavior and program that in and really embody the changes moving forward.

So we have a new way of being, of processing, of acting, reacting. The more we change all of these things and get clear on that moving forward of a new way of being, the easier it is to just let go of the negative. Because if we don't give ourselves a new way to be and new programming, it's typically impossible to be successful.

at creating that real change. And for this reason, all of the time, I'll see people who have been on the spiritual self help journey for 10, years, trying to heal themselves and They're still addressing childhood patterns and childhood wounding over and over and over again, because they didn't really create that change moving forward.

So I know it's odd that I call it reverse emotional processing because technically it's forward, but it's reverse from the norm. And so it kind of reminds you. To do it in a different way, because it is so common because it's, you know, it's the norm to want to delve into the negative and address the stress or address the hurt or the wounding or, or really look at the childhood self.

But again, it is so important to process forward to say, what do we want our brains to do and feel and think and getting that in And it makes it so much easier to get rid of the old. So I just, I love that. I love our volunteers awareness. Again, she was able to release her neck pain and also her teeth pain from the last episode.

And I love how she said, you know, in the middle of the episode, she says, gosh, my teeth feel so good. So just beautiful. And. She did that, you know, I just simply coached her on how to use her mind in a different way to get a different result. So just powerful, fantastic job. And I want to invite you to take some of the insights from this episode and apply them to your own life.

You know, if you feel like you get upset about something in a relationship, of course, Optimally, we'd say you never get upset or never get your feelings heard, but sometimes things do happen. And of course we want to shift any emotional patterns regarding that. If there's a consistent pattern.

Additionally, we also want to look at. how we react to issues and make sure we're doing it in a really positive and healthy way. So that's what I want to invite you to look at in your own life.

And I want to ask you to please do it. Take a quick moment to just hit the share button on this episode, you know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and loving and healthy and empowered that every single person is in our world.

The better this world is for all of us. And so please do make a point to hit the share button and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, loving, happy, healthy rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is, For you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at BrandyGillmore. com/podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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