240 Transcript: Healing Through Self-Awareness & Transforming Your Emotional Reflexes

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made. that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let's begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love it that you are here, continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it. And I just love today's episode. You know, each episode just comes at a price. a divine time or brings a divine new awareness that can help you to take your health, your life, your happiness, your love, your relationships to the next level.

And in today's episode, there are a combination of those things from relationships to happiness to love and connection, also self love and connection. Confidence and just feeling that shift in awareness of self as well as shifting health and happiness. Just a beautiful combination and a really beautiful volunteer.

Jamie, she just has a beautiful, beautiful heart. So I love that. And before we dive in, there are two specific things I want to point out. You know, first and foremost, some of the patterns that come up in today's episode may sound common to a lot of people, And that in and of itself is a powerful insight, meaning this, meaning, you know, in past episodes, you've heard me talk about how maybe love can get linked up to illness at a subconscious level.

You know, um, the example I'll use all the time is that, you know, even if we think about it, unfortunately, a young child They have an owie, and if they get that wound kissed, you know, maybe somebody comes by and says, let me look, kiss your owie, kiss it and make it better. That in that moment, love can get linked up to owies or illness.

And that can then impact somebody at a subconscious level. Because if their body is wanting love and connection, if a person gets in a state of loneliness where they're feeling lonely in life and they're looking for more love and connection, their subconscious mind might say, well, here's how to get love.

You just have to have an owie or an illness, you know, at a subconscious level. So of course it's not conscious, but that can get linked up in the subconscious mind. So then the subconscious mind at a deeper level may want to have an illness. To gain love and connection or whatnot, or just, you know, get relief from feeling lonely.

So again, my point is just that there are a lot of things in our culture that seem really common and we don't realize that they're a problem. And so that's part of what is going to happen in today's session. With our volunteer is that there are some things that come up that are completely different from that, but there are some situations that come up that may not seem like an issue to most people until you really stop and think about it, similar to this issue of, you know, kissing the owie.

It's a cultural norm and it seems like a very sweet thing at a young age. However, in working with people throughout the years, I've been able to see that at a subconscious level, this can get linked up to love. And that's been a big breakthrough in my work is just understanding that there are key factors.

in the mind that link to illness. And it can be, you know, a different combination for each person, but that there are key factors that link up to illness. And that has been a key to getting radical results. And so some people may have this, some people may not, but just, you know, years and years and years and years of meditation and it wasn't working.

And, and so that's when I really said, okay, well, meditation might be great. I really need to look at what are those subconscious keys. And that was a huge. Breakthrough. And so just these, and that was a huge breakthrough. And I know that this sounds counterintuitive to a lot of people, and it sounds like a cultural norm, but if we think about how the mind works, it is counterintuitive.

I mean, when we stop and think about the awareness, you know, it's well known throughout research. That if a child doesn't get positive attention, they may start acting out to get negative attention, whether it's sympathy or causing problems or getting in trouble or whatever that is. Now, my point from that is that it's very counterintuitive to say that a child would rather get negative attention than no attention, you know, and so that's very counterintuitive and it's also innate, you know, we can see children doing this at a young age.

It's not that they've been, you know, told or were, you know, got that idea from a friend, it just gets linked up in the subconscious mind. So our subconscious minds can be very counterintuitive. And so that was just a major discovery in my work is understanding these key factors that can link to illness and problems.

And and when we start to really understand the mind in a different way, We can see with clarity that some cultural things that we do, some things that are very common in our world can actually link to illness. And it makes sense when you stop and think about it, because we can also see the awareness that illness has been increasing exponentially at an alarming rate.

Illness is continuing to increase. And so we can also see that as well. And, and so it doesn't seem like a problem. It seems very sweet at a young age until we really see it. realize how the mind works and that this of course can then link up love to illness and you know, even if we expound upon that even further, we know that, you know, if a child doesn't get positive attention, they can get negative attention.

And so we know that the subconscious mind really needs that love and attention and connection. Even if it doesn't make logical sense or it's counterintuitive. And so anyway, so point being, there are some common things that we'll talk about in today's session that may not seem like an issue until we really start to look at them.

So that's number one. Now, the second point that I want to share before we delve in is this. It's just that this is a divine unfoldment that I didn't actually do on purpose, but it's perfect timing that on the last IQ episode, I mentioned that You'll hear me working with people in a session and sometimes I sound a bit like a soccer coach or football coach or softball coach, whatever you want to call it, but it's a strong feeling.

And I mentioned in that episode that some of the reasons that I do that, that, you know, there are a variety of different reasons, but some of the reasons that I do that is because, of course, I'm asking people to step into their strength. And so if I'm, you know, coddling them and then asking them to step into their strength, that's not really fair.

Because I'm giving them the opposite voice of what they need to then step into their own strength and sometimes healing can really require stepping into your strength in a blissful way, not an angry way, but in a blissful strong way. So that's one reason that I'll do it or another reason is actually what we just talked about is that if I add in loving feelings towards illness, then I only become And join part of the problem that's already there.

So becomes an issue with love and illness. And so, you know, that having that soccer, softball coach type of feeling, make sure that I'm not adding a bunch of love and coddling to illness, because again, that would be counterproductive. Now, I mentioned that I will go into that feeling for a variety of different reasons.

So sometimes it's strength. Sometimes it's not going into feelings of love that I just mentioned. And on today's episode, you'll notice that there's another strength in this one, but it's for a different reason. Our volunteer, she's been experiencing vertigo. So she's had a lot of spinning. And so when I'm working with her, because she's also been spinning in her mind a lot, about spinning on decisions and whatnot.

And you'll notice coming up, she's experiencing some pain and also vertigo, and so there's a few different health issues. The reason that I go very strong and soccer coachy type of feeling with her is because there needs to be a stability. in working with her also. A strong feeling that says we can have a strong answer and we can move forward with a feeling of confidence and we don't need to spin over things.

So it's a, an entirely different reason for this. And you also notice there are times we go through where it, it has a huge amount of compassion for a different topic or even a sense of playfulness or silliness where we're laughing. Or there's even another part. Where when I worked with her, I said, you know, I was putting things in a sensitive way.

So even though it sounded like a soccer coach or whatnot, I was still communicating the information. In a very soft way where it's not feeling, you know, um, to direct, you know, I mean, and so you'll, you'll hear as we, as we go through it. My point in sharing this is when you stop and think about it for a moment.

Notice that some things were laughing or being completely silly or ridiculous. And you'll hear me do that on many episodes where it's being silly and playful and in other places strong. And that's the way that you want to make sure to be with yourself as well as, you know, not critical and not hard, but sometimes in a place of getting your strength or being stern and saying, and confident and definitive and saying, okay, this is it, this is the answer, you know, and even in my own injury, when I was working on healing myself.

I had to get my strength back. That was, I had been in so much fear and you know, when you can't trust your body anymore to show up, but then it just, you, that's where I went is fear and loss of confidence and loss of self. And I mean, just so many things. So getting my strength back. was key for creating the change and healing myself.

And so there were times when I absolutely said, okay, look, I have to be in my strength and get my strength back. And then there were other times when I just had to laugh at things and be silly and playful and ridiculous. And then other times with compassion, not coddling, not self sympathy, compassion for a situation.

And so it's beautiful because you'll notice those elements in this very episode that we do talk about. Everything from self sympathy to compassion to silliness and playfulness, but also a strength and a, and a stable, strong answer and whatnot. So there's, there's a variety of different emotions in this.

And again, the point is, is that as you're working with yourself, I want to invite you to be in that same way that you're not always serious with yourself, but sometimes there is a strong feeling, but it's not critical. It's still kind and even acknowledging self. So. Again, you'll see all of those as we step in with our beautiful volunteer, Jamie.

Here we go.

Hello. Oh, you are on mute, beautiful. You would think after all this time doing these virtual things, I would know to check for that. Isn't it? It's, uh, it's, it's funny that that mute button sneaks up. It, it does. It's wonderful to connect with you. You too. Why, thank you. Why, thank you. And what can I help you with today, beautiful?

So, um, what prompted me to write was, um, a wrist injury. Uh, I'm not an ice skater, but I fell. I think shortly before New Year's ice skating. And, um, so that I just expected that to get better sooner than it did. I do feel like it is very gradually getting better and it's not hugely bothering me at the moment, but I do have other more chronic things going on.

Um, migraines and vertigo. So whatever the universe wants to help me with today. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And, um, Okay, uh, and if I ask you, uh, as far as your wrist goes, the level of discomfort in your wrist, zero to ten, what's your level? I would say it's really maybe just at a two today, and more of a just like a, I probably would notice if I tried to use it and grip onto something, but really the discomfort is, is not bad.

Okay, and um, bingo. That, that, give me one second. All right. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe. And you have a, a partner, a life partner. I'm divorced. And, um, it's somebody who's close. So give me one second, because that's what I was trying to figure out who it is. Um, AB, uh, somebody who you, uh, work very close with.

Do you know who that might be? Um, or his work? Or do you work? I do. Okay. And, um, There's one particular person, um, the feeling. So let me give you the feeling that it's, it's interesting. So the person is in your energy, but they're like out on the, uh, bingo, maybe it's actually your mom. Um, I'm trying to figure out who it is.

Um, can you give me your mom's, uh, initial bingo? Okay. Okay. So you laugh, you already know. So if I ask you. Um, uh, so there's a feeling of, of, uh, sometimes feeling like you guys are working against each other. Can you find that feeling? She's definitely in my thoughts a lot. She's getting older. Okay. So if I ask you how much there's a part of you who feels like you're kind of, um, trying to force her to do certain things, if I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find that feeling?

That I'm trying to force her to do certain things. Okay, so let's put it the other way. If I ask you how much you feel like she's trying to force you to do certain things, what would you say? There's, um, yeah, there's a lot, you know, from day to day differences in, is she happy where she is? Does she want to move closer to me?

What does she really want to do? And I try to be, you know, on the listening end of that and, uh, thinking through, how can I help her? Or maybe she's, you know, the next day, maybe she's fine where she is and she's found something. Okay, so, uh, so I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe and your level of frustration in the place where she is located.

What's your level of frustration at that place? Trying to think. Okay, so let me give you what I'm, what I'm seeing. So, bingo. Okay, so if I If I asked your energy, 0 to 10, how much you feel stressed about the situation? 0 to 10, it feels like a level 12. It feels like, are you familiar with that? Yeah, I could see that.

If I ask you also, there's a feeling of feeling like you're going in circles, not sure what to do with the situation. Can you see that also? Okay. So you mentioned a feeling of dizziness. So there's a connection to that, but it's also feels like that sometimes just going through decisions in general. Can feel like a process of hemming and hawing and going in circles.

Are you familiar with that? One hundred percent. One hundred percent. So great. So I love your self awareness. So that is even in true, true in other areas. So if I, if you ask me towards your mom, I would say that that's part of it. I would also say even with little things, sometimes such as dinner or what to eat.

If I ask you sometimes how much you hemming and hawing and going in circles about those things, what would you say? Yeah, I do. Yeah. I don't like making decisions. Okay, so, uh, so I love your self awareness. Love it. Love it. And, uh, bingo. So, so that's what I would say. So I would say that that piece, uh, I would also say if I ask you, if you knew that you were going to make the right decision, how much would you like making decisions?

Much better. So would you say you don't like making decisions or you don't like being wrong? Uh, yes. Don't like being wrong. Yeah. And how much does it drive you? Bingo. Wow. 0 to 10. How big of a fear of being wrong? Yeah, that's at least an 8. I love your awareness. I'll go with that. At least an 8. Okay, so, so well said.

Okay, so there's another person. Can you give me your mom's first initials again? Bingo. Is it like maybe, uh, maybe a sister? Uh, my sister passed away a few years ago, like 3 years ago. Bingo. And can you give me her initial please? First initial. Jay. Bingo. Okay. And if I ask you how much you feel responsible for your mom, zero to ten, what's your level?

Nine. And if I ask you who else is helping to be responsible for her? Yeah. My dad is there with her, but, um, I feel like she doesn't feel a lot of support from him. Okay. And, uh, and so it's like, um, this feeling. Bingo. When I said trying to force things or push like the, I would say the feeling like you're in control and not feeling like you want to be in control and feeling like it's out of control but then feeling like the control is put on you and feeling like you've got to force, there's this whole, a lot of stress and also feeling like you've got to do everything about it.

Can you see that? Yes. Yes. So I have a question for you. Number one, is it really your decision? No. So first and foremost, I love your heart. I love you. It's like you want the best for your mom. You want to care about, you care. It's just really, really, really sweet. And it's like every time she has an up or like a happy or off day or this, you're, you're flowing all over the place with her.

If she has an up, can you see that? Yeah. Yes. Okay, so what would happen if you just said to her, let's figure it out in six months from now. Let's not figure it out day to day. You let me know if you get to a point where you want something different and I'm going to trust you're going to let me know.

Right. Yeah. How would that feel? Good. Good. Good. Bingo. So bingo, bingo. Okay. Kindly said, can you see that there's also a part of you that's kind of Mad at your sister for dying. Can you see that? Oh, yeah. Mm hmm. Zero to ten. What would you say? Maybe a seven. Okay, so I would have said maybe a little bit higher, but we'll go with a seven.

Okay. And it feels like, uh, like, almost like she died and then left the responsibility on you can you see that. Can you see that feeling. Yeah, she, she said in the. you know, time before she passed, that she was worried about them dying. I feel like, oh, so you got out of here before. So wait a second. So you got out of here before, so notice for a moment how you feel like she skipped out on responsibility.

Do you see, if I ask you zero to ten, how much you find the feeling of feeling like she skipped out on responsibility, what would you say? Yeah, I can, I can feel that. Yeah. And if I asked you growing up how much you felt like everything always got put on you and she always skipped out on responsibility, what would you say?

Um, I think in general I'm, I had a more responsible sort of demeanor. But she was, I mean, she was very involved as far as with my parents. She was always very involved with them. Uh, at about age eight, there's a feeling of feeling like things are being put, put on you. Uh, bingo, like responsible for you. Can you see that?

Hmm, around age eight. That's probably around the time of a move we did. Bingo. We did a small move. Okay, give me one second because the most important thing you need to know is this. Imagine that you were driving a car, not looking out up ahead, but you're looking at the road right in front of your bumper.

How would that feel to you? Uh, kind of scary, like you can't see enough. Bingo! Scary like you can't see enough, right? So you're just paying attention to just what's right now and right now and right now, and scary because you can't necessarily see enough. You're not looking enough ahead also, right? Right.

So when you're trying to make decisions and you're making everything based on the moment of how does she feel now and what does she feel this day and that day and this day and that day, if you look a bit more at the bigger picture, what would that feel like? Better. A little bit better or a lot better?

A lot better. If I ask you, there we go, bingo. If I ask you what that even feels like for your nervous system, what happens when your nervous system, when I say if you look at the bigger picture? Yeah, it's more relaxed. A little bit more or a lot more? A lot more. A lot more, right? So imagine if you're driving a car and you're driving a car this way where you keep driving and you're going, Oh, okay.

And you're basing everything off the road, right? How tense would a person drive? Pretty tense. Yeah. Pretty tense. Right? Around the ears. Exactly. Uh, like driving in heavy fog where you can't see and you're just, yeah. So, um, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment. Okay. Now, other than your father and your sister, do you have any other close family members?

I have two children. Beautiful. And if I ask you how much you also have a sense of fear of being alone, so to speak, when your parents go? Zero to ten, what would you say? What? A little bit. A little bit. Um. Okay, now I have a question for you. If you knew that they were going to be around for a long time, how would you feel?

Yeah, not, not knowing is, is hard, I guess. That uncertainty, I mean. Bingo. So notice for a moment you're living with uncertainty. Zero to ten, how big? Seven. Okay, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and what if you didn't have all the uncertainty? What if you were actually just enjoying?

What would that look like? Bingo. That'd be the way to go. Great, great, great, great, great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And whatever time is left, that's what you want to do. Great. So imagine for a moment. If you were watching a movie in the theater and you were uncertain as to when it was going to end, so you were so concerned about when it was going to end that you forgot to enjoy the film.

Yeah. I feel like I'm doing that. Yeah.

All right. So let's go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her self awareness. I love her self honesty. Just beautiful. And, uh, And when I mentioned in the very beginning that some of these things, these patterns can seem very normal that people are experiencing on an ongoing basis.

This can be one of those patterns where people get so stuck in the feeling of indecision and uncertainty and trying to figure things out that they forget to enjoy the moment. And this can happen in all different levels. I mean, I've seen people who are, Very in love in a new relationship. And then they feel like they have to figure it out right away.

Or on a first date, they have to figure out, is this person their forever person? And obviously it can be a first date. So they're trying to turn it into an interrogation of their first date, trying to figure out, is this person everything that they've ever wanted compared to just showing up and enjoying the moment?

And then. deciding at a later date, giving themselves some time to experience life or enjoy the moment and then get into a place of decision when they're ready. And so that's the insight that I just wanted to bring into awareness for a moment because all of the time I'll see people doing this and it can affect their health, their happiness, their anxiety, and also what they're manifesting.

And so just wanted to point that out for a quick moment and Let's go ahead and delve back in with our beautiful volunteer, Jamie. Here we go.

Okay, so let's say you knew that the film was going to last five more years. How would you live each day now? In uncertainty or fear? Or in love and enjoyment and spending time and, and loving and connecting and playing? Yeah. Okay, and what if you knew it was going to end ten from, ten years from now, how would you spend that time?

Enjoying it. Enjoying it. It doesn't matter how much longer that this principle is the same. Enjoy it. You beat me to the point. Bingo! Because if you think about it, if you said it was five years from now, You would go, okay, well, let me just enjoy every day, right? So the point is to fall in love, to enjoy, to live fully, and even if it's three years or five years or ten years or twenty years, live it, enjoy it, laugh, have fun, fully, right?

Right. Now, by the way, this is the thing, if you look at studies, People who are the most optimistic live the longest, lived about 15 percent longer than people who are the least optimist, right? So if you're happy and enjoying and laughing and loving fully, and you're not in fear, but you're really enjoying that, then how many more years will you have with them if they can jump on board with that same feeling too?

Yeah. What does that look like? Good. Bingo. And so I'm going to ask you to just for a moment to breathe. And I'm going to ask you just for a moment, so I want you to notice the level in your wrist. Zero to ten, what's the level in your wrist? Maybe one. Okay, maybe one. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

Can you notice what it would feel like to stop being mad at your sister? Could you notice what that would feel like to stop being mad at your sister? That you don't need to be mad. So I'm gonna ask you just for a moment to breathe. Now if I ask you, do you think she died on purpose? No. Okay. I think, I think she didn't take good enough care of herself and she had her own issues and that's what happened.

Okay. And uh, Bingo. But do you think she said, okay, well, I want to die?

I really don't know. I do wonder about that sometimes. Okay. You do wonder about that, right? I do wonder about it, yeah. Now, I have a question for you. What is the mindset of somebody who would say, I want to die? In pain. And how much was your sister in pain? She was. She did that on purpose, didn't she?

She wasn't in pain on purpose. What? She wasn't in pain on purpose. Oh, come on. I mean, most people put themselves in pain and hurt and wounding on purpose, right? No, no, no. Okay. Well, let's just be mad at her like only a level eight then. If she didn't do it on purpose, right? That's, I mean, fair. Okay, so I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe.

Or maybe, maybe we could just have compassion. And instead of feeling upset that, oh, she left you with this and this and this, how much are you really needing to support your parents? How much do you take care of your parents financially? Not at all. What? None. Zero. Oh, and so are you sure that there's a burden other than perceived stress that has been placed upon you?

Like what actual burden? You have to take care of them every day, right? No. Well, you have to make their dinner every day, right? No. Oh, so other than mental and emotional stress, has there been any? Are there, quote unquote, burden placed upon you? No. So instead, if you were enjoying to its fullest, and enjoying time with them, and laughing with them, and loving with them, it would be even better, right?

That's right. Yes. Great. So if I ask you, are you willing to stop being mad at your dad also? Yes. Really? Yeah. I don't want to be mad at anybody. Okay. Great. Now Bingo. And what do you think that he's not doing for your mom that he should be? Nothing, really. It, he just is who he is. And she is who she is. Okay, but what would you say he hasn't been doing?

I guess just engaging with her a little more or, you know, getting involved in the place that they live. But I understand why he doesn't. I have a question. How long has your mom run the household?

I don't even know. I don't, I don't want to know too much about their dynamic. Okay, so how long have they been married? Yeah, um, over 50 years. Well, they did something, right? Maybe. So, uh, bingo. I mean, yeah. Bingo. Okay, so, instead of bringing any judgments in the relationship, what if you brought more love in the relationship?

Sounds good. What's that? Sounds good. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe, and I'm gonna say that again. Instead of bringing any judgments, what if you just figured out a way to bring more love? Bingo. And I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. What would that look like and what would that feel like if instead of bringing more judgments, you brought more love?

I'd be happy. What? I'd be happy for all of us. Okay, but how could you actually, how could you make that practical? Yeah. Could you go and play games with them? Could you make a point to, like, what would happen if you said, Hey, I'm going to come visit and let's all play a game together. Or let's all do this and this and this together.

What would that even look like? Yeah. We do, we do that sometimes. So dad, dad will participate until he's, you know, maybe not feeling well enough to, but. Okay. He will, he will a bit. Yeah. That's fun. Great. Bingo. So, I'm going to ask you just for a moment to breathe, and if I ask you 0 to 10, how much you can find the desire to want to control the situation even more?

Um, yeah, I don't know how I would control it. Okay, but if I ask you how much you can feel the desire to control it, what would you say? I'll give you an idea. I would say about a level 8. Okay. Can you see that? And I can just make them be how I want them to be. You could make him do more of this, and you could make her do more of this, and then you could make them happy, and then you could blah, blah, blah, and then that, like, can you see the part of you that wants to control the situation?

I could see that there's some of that there, yeah. What if What's that? I said that's silly. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. So what would happen if you let go of control? of their situation. You let go of control, and instead of trying to control their situation, you just simply added love. You let go of control, but you simply added love.

What would that look like? Yeah, it would feel good. What? Would feel better and Bingo. Yeah. Level in your risks. Zero to ten, what's your level? Three. That's exactly, I would have, technically, I would have said point four. So yeah. I always laugh when you do decimal points. I think, how does that come from? I love that you were there.

I'm impressed. I'm impressed. Um, your awareness. Okay. So I love that. Um. Bingo. All right. So, uh, great. So I'm going to ask you just for a moment, what it looks like to let go completely of controlling it, but instead trusting they've got it, trusting they've got it, but making a point to add love or to add playfulness, to not judge, not criticize at all.

All right, so let's go ahead and pause it just for a really quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her self awareness. I love her heart. I love her care for her family. Just a beautiful, beautiful being. And also just a quick note, you know, some of these things that we're talking about can seem very simple, like, you know, not controlling the parent's dynamic.

And also what she could do instead, you know, play some games, whatnot. So there's some simple to do's. Now, the reason this is both simple and also profound is this, is that all of the time people tell themselves what not to do, and they never get clear on how they're going to do different and also more importantly, how they're going to feel instead.

You know, a lot of times people just allow their emotions that they feel whatever they feel and they just feel whatever they feel. So for this reason, many people stay in the same emotional patterns throughout their life and when these emotional patterns are affecting their health and they don't realize it, continues to create an ongoing chronic condition that people can't get rid of.

You know, if you think about it for a moment using the analogy. of anxiety. If somebody's feeling the pattern of anxiety for a long period of time, that, of course, can create panic or anxiety attacks or whatnot. So, I mean, these subconscious emotions can affect the physical body in a variety of different ways.

And most people don't even realize that it's contributing to the illness, problem, pain, whatever it is. And so if you think about it. A lot of times people will tell themselves, you know, especially maybe in their parents dynamic or whatnot, Oh, just, you know, they might say, just don't control it or just don't do that.

But the idea of saying, okay, well, how do I want to be instead? How do I want to be? What am I going to do? How am I going to? feel instead and genuinely program that in is simple and yet profound. And so some of the things that her and I are talking about are going to be simple, you know, what about playing a game with the family and what do you want to do?

And, and also how do you want to feel? Because, again, if you don't program into your mind and nervous system a new way of being and feeling, then the only thing that is left to occur is that You continue to go into the old negative emotional patterns that then can affect your health. And I can't tell you how often I've seen people who have been in patterns of wanting to control others, control others relationships, or life, or whatever it is, that just the desire to want to control others is affecting them.

their own health and they don't see it. And so that's the insight that I want to provide you right here is just that is just being aware of re patterning and reprogramming the mind to think, feel, and act in a new way to create that transformation. All right. So that said, let's dive back in with our beautiful volunteer, Jamie.

Here we go.

Okay, now, by the way, this is the thing. So, as soon as I go into this feeling of feeling like, okay, letting it go, not to have to judge, not to control at all, but letting them do that, um, there's also, it comes back in. So, it vacillates and goes back to that feeling of feeling pissed off at your sister for dying and how dare she, uh, and leaving everything with you with that feeling.

Um, again, there is this feeling of feeling like, bingo, like things are put on you. Um, okay, if I ask you, uh, how long ago you and your ex Uh, split up. What would you say? Um, it was six years, five or six years. And if I ask you how much you feel like responsibility was put on you from that, what would you say?

Uh, what kind of responsibility? Like, responsible for the breakup? Uh, not responsible for the breakup. Responsible for, um, there feels like one, one of the children, um, a feeling of sense of responsibility. Do you know which one it was? Yeah, probably my daughter. Bingo. Why did you then end up feeling a sense of responsibility from that?

Why would you say that is? She was, she was distraught and I think over the years she's probably had a closer relationship with me than with her dad. Okay. And if I ask you how much you were angry at him for that, what would you say? It's almost, it's like this feeling of feeling like, like with your sister, like you went ahead and died and now I have to take care of this because of what you did.

And then, like, with your, uh, ex, it's like a feeling of, you did this, and now I have to go take care of the daughter because of what you did. Can you see that? Yeah, just to be in the situation in general. Okay, so, if I ask you, who is the one that filed for separation? I was the one that made that final decision.

Okay. And, and if I ask you, zero to ten, how much you are blaming him for it, what would you say? I think at the time Yeah, I thought, you know, it's because of how he is that that this can't continue, you know, yeah, I Okay, and how how is that? Well, what made you say that's it? We were having a discussion and he he said something about He didn't want it like we were doing a therapy exercise by ourselves and he said something along the lines of I It won't, it'll just make me understand how you feel.

Like, I don't want to do this because it'll, it won't get me what I want. It'll just make me understand how you feel. So I thought, oh, I guess he doesn't actually, like the light bulb went on. He's, he's not as concerned with how I feel. Yeah, I just, you know, we got married young and I think I realized, so much optimism over the years, I finally realized that we're actually not a good fit.

Okay. And um, bingo. Give me one second. Yes. Okay. So we opened this up and you said, whatever the universe wants to give me, right? Right. And that was part of what you said. And so there, so in other words, there are situational things. So I would say this. So one is the, the feeling of feeling like things are getting put upon me and now I have to do it and deal with it.

And that's a pattern. Can you see that pattern? So that's the pattern. Even the feeling of with your sister dying, like things are being put upon me and now I have to deal with it. Um, that, let me put it in different words. Uh, I would say universe gives me a level four for articulating that. Let me, I would say, let me rephrase those words.

If I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find a feeling of self sympathy. Yeah, I can find that. 0 to 10, how much? Uh, um, 8? I love your self awareness, and if I ask you how much you can find this pattern, what would you say, through your life? Yeah, I can see it. I love your self awareness. Thank you. So, so I was trying to be gentle with my words, to not, and to, but, yeah, and then the universe was, when I checked in, because that's what I do, I'll give information, and I always want to make sure I am communicating it and articulating it properly, and the universe is like, you get about a four.

Okay, that's low. Let me fix this. Uh, so, uh, so that's what I would say is self sympathy. Um, or we could, we could say maybe like a for me, self sympathy type of feeling that I have to do, blah, blah, blah. Okay. So now, so you asked, what does the universe want to give you? It's what happens if the shift is amazing me.

Like, what if that's your feeling moving forward? Like, there is no poor me or sympathy for me, self sympathy. There is like, you feel blessed, fantastic, happy, elated, and you feel good. Like, if you think about it for a moment, I'm going to push a little bit. I adore you, and I'm going to push a little bit, and I adore you, and I'm going to push a little bit.

Here we go. Okay, so if you think about it, your sister passed, and you ended up, your takeaway was poor me, things have been put on me, but it's really actually being put on you, right? Can you see it? Which is good. Okay, so, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. And I don't want you to take this towards self criticism or self judgment.

I want you to move this towards self freedom and liberation from this silly pattern that's been sucking at your energy for your entire lifetime, okay? So there's an opportunity here to either judge yourself, criticize yourself, or liberate yourself from a pattern that you don't want. Because imagine if you have self sympathy pattern 10 years from now, or self sympathy pattern 20 years from now.

Um, feeling sorry for self, bad for self. What does your life look like? Yeah. Not as good as it could. Okay. Now imagine if instead you have a feeling like lucky me and you feel like yay me, amazing me and you feel that. You feel blessed. You feel excited. You feel like blessed by life and feel very, very lucky and there's zero poor me at all.

You actually feel like lucky me and that's your feeling. What does that look like? Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic, right? So you have, you have options. I mean, you could judge yourself. You could criticize the pattern. You could pretend like you put it there, even though it started at a very, very, very young age.

Um, but you can see, like, you can see how it's been running throughout your life, right? Yeah. I am so impressed with you. I am so impressed with you. Okay. So if bingo, so impressed. Okay. So number one. So now I was, Rika, I was going, okay, you, you asked for what does the universe want to give you? Bingo. Number one, by far, is that.

Uh, number two, it wants you to not be mad at your sister for dying because and feeling like it's unfair because that won't be good for your own health. Uh, number one. Uh, and also, uh, it wants you to instead of the poor me, if you change that and you feel like lucky me. I can spend time with my parents and connect and celebrate and love.

Like, that's the thing. Like, if I told you our thoughts help create our lives and let's say your daughter spends the entire, her entire life feeling like a poor me. And I know that there's mixed emotions too. I know there's a part of you that also feels like you have great things and good thing and blah, blah, blah.

And there's that other, we can have those mixed emotions, but imagine for a moment, if your daughter feels self sympathy pattern. Her entire life, or she feels like lucky me for her entire life. What would you want for her? Lucky me. Lucky me. And what would you want for her mom? Yeah. Same thing. Same thing.

Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I hope that you don't waste one second judging yourself or criticizing yourself. And by the way, if I ask you, is there a little part of you that may have had like a self criticism pattern a little bit? Okay. Yeah, a little bit. Zero to ten, how little bit are we talking?

Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to invite you not to go into that, right? Right. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, level on your wrist, zero to ten.

It's that mini, mini, mini decimal. That's what I say, about a point two, I'm with ya. Okay, so, uh, there's a part of you that says, I can't let go of, like, there's almost a feeling of feeling like you have to kind of protect your mom from your dad, so to speak, type of. Feeling, et cetera, et cetera. Can you see that?

Maybe. Not that your dad's unsafe, but the feeling, um, you have to be there for, you have to rescue her. Um, bingo. Um, bingo. So the other pieces is, is this, is that,

uh, universe is directing back to, um, the feeling back to your sister, uh, feeling compassion for her instead of anger, compassion for her instead of anger, absolute compassion. By the way, if I ask you how lonely your sister was, what would you say? I think she was pretty lonely. Zero to ten, what would you say?

Eight. Yeah, I would say eight, nine, ten, fifty, somewhere in there. Okay, it's very, very, very, very, very high inside, okay? So, uh, that's, I would say that was a problem, big problem, big problem. Like when I check her energy. Bingo. Like, that's the first thing that comes up is that, that feeling, feeling very, very, very lonely inside.

Very lonely, very alone. Um, alone and lonely and not knowing how to connect. Okay. Um, bingo. So, uh, but compassion for her. Compassion, just that inner, inner, inner feeling. Uh, bingo. All right, so give me one second. What else does universe, it says this, it says there's a lot of takeaways from it. It says, uh, the dizziness.

So also thinking about decision making, making it easier, not stressing over the little things. So dinner, you might go, okay, I'm going to have this, so to speak. So making a practice not to stress over the little things, making a practice also to look at the bigger picture for decisions. Uh, And also, don't be so afraid of being wrong, flow, flow more, flow more.

Does that make sense? Bingo. Um, give me 1 second. Okay. So, um, it actually says that is complete. Uh, that is complete. It says, uh, um, bingo, uh, basically giving yourself time to digest this and process this. But the great thing is, as you can see, that your wrist went from a two to a point, about a point one, uh, in there.

So I love the awareness on that and, um, uh, bingo. Uh, and then it says, uh, um, if I'm going to be honest, do I expect this to go away a hundred percent? The answer is honestly, no. And it says there's a part of you that really does not feel like you could easily change the dynamic with your parents. Can you see that?

So I would, uh, I would decide how you want the dynamic to be and start picturing that and start seeing that like, okay, you're willing to let, you're willing to, to be the change, to embody the change, to connect with your dad in a different way, to connect with your mom in a different way, to, to. To add some playfulness or some funness to it even more to, to show up just in pure love for both of them.

Um, and then also, um, uh, starting to embrace the, the pattern of really feeling lucky and feeling blessed and starting to change that wholeheartedly. Um, give me one second. Bingo. It says complete. Okay. Beautiful, beautiful job with your energy. Great, great, great shift. Great self awareness. And can you embody these changes?

Yes. 100%? I'm excited. Yes. Now, if you asked me if it was, if I expected you to embrace it, I would say hugely higher. Hugely higher. So, um, bingo. Complete. Complete. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you. Oh, thank you. You are absolutely amazing. You are absolutely so welcome. An amazing job with your energy.

I've got to show you what I'm what I'm reading here. I love it. I love it. I love it. Beautiful. Beautiful. Got that out in the world. Thank you so much.

All right, so let's go ahead and unpack this even more and you know first and foremost I just love her heart. I love her self awareness, just beautiful. I love that she was able to get her pain down to a 0. 3 or 0. 4. Really great. She did that. So she can see that the change is taking place. And also, as I mentioned at the very end, I asked her, you know, just kind of a nudge, do I expect it to last?

And I said, no, at one point. And then I said, okay, yes. And obviously the reason I'm bringing that to her awareness is because I want her to have. And I wanted to emphasize to her that it does take a real change. That of course is key. So that is one insight that I want to just always emphasize. Now, another takeaway from this episode is also noticing the awareness of self sympathy.

And I know that there are a percentage of people who are going to listen to this episode and say to themselves, Well, of course she Felt sorry for herself. Her husband put, did this and her sister and this, and she has this responsibility. And some people are going to see it in that way. And. When we stop and look at it for a moment, we all have different ways of responding to information, meaning that every single person is programmed to respond or react in a different way.

And a simple analogy that you hear me use all of the time is what I call emotional reflexes. And emotional reflexes, a simple way to think about it is also like your physical reflexes. So for example, if somebody throws a ball at you and you may catch it, Or if somebody throws a ball, you may duck or you may stand there and get hit by it and then feel bad.

Like my point being is that we all have different reflexes, different emotional reflexes. So one person might get angry at a situation. Another person may feel sympathy regarding a situation. Another person may feel compassion or excitement or confidence or whatever that is. But those emotional reflexes.

There's basically the emotions that are programmed into our nervous system on how we think, feel, and act. That is our mind programming. And so in this situation, her pattern was an emotional reflex of self sympathy. And so that is what was showing up repeatedly. And that of course is what she'll want to repattern all of the way.

And so just again, the awareness from this, is that a lot of times people may not realize that these very patterns can affect your health, your life, your happiness, your relationships, and also they keep going and showing up in a variety of different ways. Until we're willing to really reprogram them. But that is what is beautiful is I've seen people go from a place of feeling self sympathy to personal empowerment, confidence, feeling good, feeling grateful, feeling excited about life, feeling fantastic, feeling empowered, feeling lucky, and when you stop and think about that level of transformation, it's profound.

It is beautiful. It is life changing. And. That is the gift is when you think about that level of transformation. And so that's the other insight that I wanted to bring to you is just thinking about where this can go when you're really determined to make that change all of the way. And the beautiful thing is, is we can see even in working with her, her pain, she was able to get it way down and It's going to take continued follow through.

So just beautiful, beautiful job from our volunteer and so many beautiful insights that can help you to really make a radical transformation in your own life. All right. So that said, I want to ask you to please do. Take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more that every single person is happy and healthy and loved and loving and feeling in their own personal power and empowered and lucky and enjoying life, the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode. And. Please do make sure to have a most wonderful, fantastic, happy, beautiful rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there. Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life.

All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about, or those, you know, who really need it as more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better.

That is the point. And the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone. What we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life.

If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I make. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize.

That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at BrandyGillmore. com slash podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors.

Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind. Thank you.

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Also, please remember that genuine change and follow through are key for self-healing results. If you struggle with negative thoughts or have a chronic health issue or chronic pain, please do not avoid seeing your doctor.

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