302: Are Cultural Norms Quietly Sabotaging Your Health?

Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I’ll even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind, and then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let’s begin.

Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it and I just love today’s episode for so many reasons.

The Cultural Patterns That Keep Us Stuck

You know, one of the insights that comes from today’s episode is you’ll be able to see that some of the things that we are very used to in our culture can actually keep you very stuck—and that’s part of where we’re going. And kind of spoiler alert, if you will, I’m gonna work with a beautiful volunteer, Daria, today, and she’s been struggling with MS and working on healing herself for over six years now. And she’s feeling stuck. She’s not making the progress that she wants.

Basically, when her and I start the session coming up here, her hands are numb at about a level six. And so as we go through today’s session, she’s able to get that numbness all the way down. So she’s able to do that, of course, using her mind.

Now, what you’ll notice as I’m working with her is that there are key things that I’m working on with her mind. One of them has to do with a feeling of feeling sorry for self, and that’s one thing we start shifting.

Now, let’s be honest—in our culture, if we say to somebody who’s ill, who’s struggling, who’s having a problem, “don’t feel sorry for yourself” or whatnot, that could feel not nice or even rude in our culture. And I understand that. And yet, simultaneously, it can also keep people stuck from healing.

And when you stop and think about it for a moment, you can see why. You know, there’s just more and more illness in our culture and more stuckness and whatnot because sometimes the very thing that we’re trying to change can be reinforced all around us.

And by the way, on that note, as far as feeling sorry for yourself and whatnot—going through my injury, if you ask me, was there ever a time when I felt sorry for myself? Absolutely. I was not perfect. I was in a mess. And absolutely. And then I began to realize I really needed to change it because if patterns breed more of the same, and I feel sorry for myself and sorry for myself, and patterns attract more and repeat—we could call it repetition compulsion, reenactments, attachment theory, law of attraction, whatever you want to call it—but in psychology, we know that our patterns can repeat in our lives.

And so when I started really thinking about the mind and how it works, I realized that if I was gonna feel sorry for myself, that wasn’t helpful. It was just gonna keep me in a place of feeling sorry for myself. And so I really needed to change to be able to heal. And so of course I had to get out of that.

And what you’ll notice with today’s volunteer—that’s part of where we go. Now, there are other key things as well, but part of where we go is I ask her to stop feeling sorry for herself and instead feel amazed with herself and feel and step into her feeling of really feeling like she’s an amazing being. And so that’s part of where we’re going.

And I have to say, part of the reason I’m saying this upfront is—let’s be honest—some people might listen to this episode and they might say, “what, you’re asking her to stop feeling sorry for herself?” and might be upset about that. And I understand, because in our culture, we feel like we’re supposed to do that, or we feel like it’s the right thing to do, or the good thing to do—to feel sorry for somebody.

But instead, of course, I wanted her to feel that she’s amazing and create the change toward her health and healing herself. And so that’s where we’re going—working on those mindset shifts to help align her body with healing.

The Session with Daria Begins

And so on that note, let’s go ahead and step in with our beautiful volunteer, Daria. Here we go.

Brandy: Hello, Daria.

Daria: Hello.

Brandy: Hello, beautiful. How’s it going?

Daria: I’m good, thank you. How are you?

Brandy: I’m doing fantastic, thank you. It’s wonderful to connect with you. And what can I help you with today, my dear?

Daria: Okay, so I’m working for six years on recovering, reverting MS and all things related to that.

Brandy: Okay, great, great, great. So, I’m gonna ask you to breathe… Bingo. Okay, and if I ask you where you’re noticing the most symptoms right now—what are your physical symptoms from MS?

Daria: Right now, it’s numbness in the hands. That’s always been present for six years.

Brandy: Okay, and if I ask you zero to ten, how much you can find that feeling of numbness in the hands right now?

Daria: Five, six out of ten.

Brandy: That’s exactly what I would’ve said—about a level six. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe… Bingo.

Brandy: And if I ask you, zero to ten, how much can you find the feeling—let’s see—how much can you find the feeling that you’re hiding blueberries every day?

Daria: Jesus… Ten out of ten. Well, blueberries for me felt quite like a negative thing. That was the first thing. So…

Brandy: Wait, wait, wait. What did you say?

Daria: The blueberries for me are precious at the same time as something like naughty or something. I don’t know why I have this association with blueberries. I have no idea. But that was my association, so that’s why ten out of ten in this… ten out of ten. Complex.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, zero to ten, how much you feel like you’re hiding bananas?

Daria: No. Zero.

Brandy: Zero. Okay. But notice—you feel like a level ten like you’re hiding blueberries, right?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So why are you hiding the blueberries? What are you doing with the blueberries?

Daria: I don’t know.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, how much can you find the feeling of feeling like you have to hide things? Zero to ten, what’s your level?

Daria: Ten. Ten. Ten out of ten.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Oh, that’s interesting. Right? That’s interesting. Not judging it, not criticizing it—we’re just like, oh, that’s interesting. Is that interesting?

Daria: Interesting. Yes.

Brandy: Thank you. Thank you for joining me there. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you—who do you feel like you need to hide them from?

Daria: My parents.

Brandy: Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Are your parents blueberry thieves?

Daria: (Laughs)

Brandy: Thank you for your sense of humor and your laughter. Perfect, perfect, perfect. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Would you say your parents are kind of like blueberry robbers?

Daria: (Laughs again)

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. On a real note, I want you to notice the part of you that feels like you have to hide things from your parents. Can you see that?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I’m gonna ask you, why do you feel like you need to hide things from them?

Daria: Because I’m gonna get hurt.

Brandy: Okay. Again. So you’re gonna get hurt because they’re gonna steal your blueberries?

Daria: (Laughs)

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. How are they going to hurt you? What comes up for you?

Daria: They’re gonna criticize me.

Brandy: Okay. So they’re gonna criticize you. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe… Bingo. I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I’m gonna ask you, why do you feel like they criticize you?

Daria: Because they either did in words, or because they didn’t show me that they love me otherwise.

Brandy: Okay. Is that true?

Daria: Hmm.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I love that you’re also questioning your own thoughts. That—I love. That you’re saying, this is how I feel, and then saying, is that even true? Brilliant. Fantastic. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe… Bingo.

Now most people turn out exactly like their parents want them to, right?

Daria: No.

Brandy: Oh, you mean most people end up becoming their own person and who they are regardless of what their parents think?

Daria: Yes.

Brandy: Oh, okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So even if your parents have input that’s different than what you want to do, you could be strong enough to just be you and be okay with it?

Daria: Yes.

Brandy: Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now out of curiosity, honestly, would you say that they’re trying to criticize you, or their effort is to help you? What would you say is more true?

Daria: The latter. Yeah.

Brandy: They actually just want to help you, right?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: And I want you to notice the part of you that wants to shut down and takes things personally and gets really upset. Can you see that?

Daria: Yes.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe…

Shifting from Fear and Criticism to Empowerment

Brandy: Now, am I saying that they’re trying to help you in the most perfect way? No. And a lot of times when people give unsolicited information, it can feel critical, right?

Daria: Right.

Brandy: Oh no, you should do this different. Oh, you should… it can feel critical, right?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I’m gonna ask you to smile. And I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I’m gonna ask you to smile. And I’m gonna ask you to take in the feeling of what it would feel like to be able to be you.

Now out of curiosity, every single person in the world believes in mind-body healing, right?

Daria: (Laughs)

Brandy: No. That is the reason that after I healed myself, I said, I’m gonna show it under medical equipment. I want people to be able to see it. It is the very reason that I do this podcast—so people can see we can get results, right?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: So I didn’t say, oh my gosh, people are gonna criticize this. Instead, I said, all right, this is definitely different. And I said, me personally, I would’ve thought it was impossible, so I’m not gonna take it personally. I’m just gonna show up. I’m gonna show up. I’m gonna show it under medical equipment. I’m gonna show we can get results. I am going to prove it. I’m gonna show it. I’m gonna show it under medical equipment. People are gonna see it with their own eyes.

So I got resourceful and then figured it out. Then I said, okay, I am gonna go publish it in a medical journal. So people also believe it because now you see more and more fake stuff on the internet. This, that, the other. I was like, okay, I’m gonna put it in a medical journal that’s peer-reviewed. It’s gonna be IRB. I mean, I literally was like, what else do I need to do?

So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So notice that I didn’t take it—what?—personally this time.

Changing the Internal Narrative

Brandy: Ah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And when you really think about it, if I ask you honestly, how much your parents have wanted to help you, what would you say?

Daria: Ten out of ten.

Brandy: Ten out of ten, right. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, zero to ten, how mean your mom is, what would you say?

Daria: Oh, depends on her mood, but… seven.

Brandy: Okay. Seven. And why is she mean?

Daria: Mm. Because she’s criticizing. Negative. Judging.

Brandy: Yes. Okay. So I question—how much is she mean to your dad?

Daria: Only—they’re separate. Um, now they don’t really communicate anymore.

Brandy: Okay. And do you have siblings?

Daria: I have siblings.

Brandy: And how mean is she to all of your siblings?

Daria: Oh. She’s not mean to them. She’s not. She’s not. Sometimes to my brother, but…

Brandy: Okay. When she’s mean to your brother, why?

Daria: Because he doesn’t do what she wants.

Brandy: Okay. So is she trying to help him? Yes or no?

Daria: Yes.

Brandy: Yes. Not saying she’s doing it perfect, but let’s look at her action. So is her intention to be mean, or is her intention to try to help?

Daria: Yeah. Yeah. That’s horrible.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So when you see—she’s trying to help. Even though I’m not defending her. I’m not saying it’s perfect. But I’m just saying—when you see what her intentions are… yeah, she might be frustrated. She might be a little too bossy or this, that, the that. I get it. I get it. She might be frustrated enough. Yep. But what are her intentions?

Daria: To help.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. If her intentions for you are good, how much do you need to feel afraid of her?

Daria: Not at all.

Brandy: Not at all. Now, instead, you could just talk to her. You could reason with her. You could say, thank you so much for your help, but I really want to do it another way. And I understand. Thank you for trying to help. But I want to do something in a different way, right?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Okay. So if you are trying really hard to help somebody—and really hard—and you think they don’t understand and you’re trying to help them and help them and you think they don’t understand, you keep trying to get through to them, right?

Daria: Some people will do.

Brandy: But if somebody says, I understand you’re trying to help, but I really would decide to do it in a different way… now it changes the situation. Does that make sense?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe…

Taking Ownership of Change and Embracing Empowerment

Brandy: Would you recommend to me that I should be afraid of criticism or that I just keep doing what I’m doing and showing results and showing change and showing results?

Daria: Yes. Yes. A second.

Brandy: Great. Hundred percent. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And how much do you need to be afraid of criticism in your life?

Daria: Little. You don’t?

Brandy: No. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So how much do you need to hide things?

Daria: Zero.

Brandy: Zero. What about the blueberries? How much do you need to hide blueberries?

Daria: Um, zero.

Brandy: What?

Daria: Zero.

Brandy: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and you don’t need to hide anything. You’re strong enough to be you.

By the way, if your mom is giving you some type of feedback, maybe instead of being defensive—because sometimes people, they get feedback and they’re defense, defense, defense—and they go, wait a second. Even if you’re getting feedback, you might want to say, is this person right? Is this person partially right? Is this person pointing out something that does need to be changed? And maybe they’re not a hundred percent right, but is there something I should pay attention to here? Right.

So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now notice for a moment, when I was concerned people wouldn’t believe in mind-body healing, I said, okay, let me show it under medical equipment. It drove me to do more, to be more, to expand, to show it. Right? Which is good for everybody—even people who already believe in mind-body healing—when they can see the results, it’s helpful. So when I take the feedback and I show up in a healthy way, it expands my life. Does that make sense?

Daria: Mm-hmm. Yes.

Brandy: So in other words, if you did get feedback from her, and instead of hiding, you show up in a healthy, expansive way, what does that look like?

So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now, by the way, some people with—we keep using the example of mind-body healing—some people with mind-body healing might be like, oh, that’s not gonna work. Don’t do that. Blah, blah, blah. Right? Now, I didn’t take that advice. Okay. A lot of people would’ve thought that I was crazy trying to heal with the mind, and they did during my injury. And so I was just like, okay, let me figure this out. I’m gonna—I’m gonna do it. Like, because why? Because I could see evidence.

I could see multiple personality disorder with people in different personalities. I could see also just, you know, the placebo, the power of the mind was everywhere. Or even after surgery, somebody who’s in a positive state has much faster healing. Somebody who’s in a negative state—fear and stress and whatnot—higher chance of rehospitalization. So I could see—it affects the physical body. Not just like positive thoughts, but somebody cut open from surgery. So my point is—we can see the difference.

So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I showed up in a healthy way to the uncertainty or to the—you could even—the challenge. I wouldn’t even call it criticism. I don’t feel criticized. I feel like I could just stand up and say, okay, I got this. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.

I’m gonna push you, okay? So I’m gonna push you. You ready?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Go ahead and be small and hide and do that all of your life and be fearful. I mean, go ahead and live that way if, if you want. I mean, I wouldn’t recommend it. But go ahead if you want. Or—you can communicate. You could say, “Thank you so much for the feedback. I’ll think about that.” Or “Thank you so much for the feedback and I really want to do it a different way.” Or “Thank you for the feedback. Let me show up to life.”

For me, skepticism is like, “Oh, thank you for the feedback. Let me show you under medical equipment.” Right? “Thank you. Thank you for the—okay, great.” So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.

Stepping into Transformation

Brandy: And so I’m gonna ask you to notice—bingo—the part of you who has felt sorry for yourself. Can you see that?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: You’re amazing. So imagine for a moment if I felt like—people don’t, like, don’t understand mind-body healing, or they think it’s not real—and then I just feel sorry for myself. I could have done that. I totally could have done that, right?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: People don’t believe in it. They criticize. They don’t believe it’s possible. Imagine what my life would look like, right?

Healing Through Empowered Change

Brandy: All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I just love her. I love her heart, I love her awareness, her smile, her sense of humor. She’s just—she’s really good and really great and just insightful and I just, I love that.

And I want to take a moment to just unpack this because so often the very things in our culture that we think are really good or really nice can actually backfire in major ways. And an example you hear me use all of the time is this: if I say something like, “I look horrible in this blazer,” what are you supposed to say?

Well, the common cultural norm would be something like this: “No, you don’t, Brandy, you look amazing.” Right? And that gets linked up. Because if I criticize myself and I say, “Oh, I look horrible,” and then someone says, “No you don’t, you look amazing”—that gets linked up. And so what happens is something that’s meant to be nice gets connected to a problem. So now we have what? Positive reinforcement, a compliment.

So the analogy that I use all the time to compare that to is—you know, if you think about a cutter who cuts themselves and can unfortunately feel a feeling of relief or euphoria or control or safety from cutting themselves. So that can get linked up in the mind and then it gets stuck. And so all of the time, when it comes to healing, there are negative emotions that get linked up in the mind. It gets stuck there.

And so with, of course, feeling sorry for herself—I know that in our culture that’s supposed to be the “good thing to do.” That if somebody is going through a hard time, that we feel sorry for them. But in this case, I want her to feel like she’s amazing. Because there’s a feeling of hiding and feeling criticized and feeling sorry for herself and whatnot, and I want her to get out of that and step into her next best self. And that’s a big part of healing. That’s why, you know, we call it Heal Yourself, Change Your Life.

And you know, the Gift Method, when we really identify what’s going on—and we really look at what is the problem—and then we really look at it and face the problem and turn it into what? A gift. So the problem isn’t the gift. The fact that we are changing is what turns it into an absolute gift. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Daria. Here we go.

Owning Change and Releasing the Old Self

Brandy: So instead I said, “I am going to get results. I’m gonna figure it out. I’m gonna figure this out.” Because I could see the evidence. I was like, “No, no, I’m determined.” And now, by the way, when I got better and everybody was surprised, I did ne—I never said, “I told you so.” Instead, I just said, “Hey, do you wanna go ski?”

That is literally what I said. I said, “It looks like we’re gonna go skiing this next year now.” Now I was not ready when I initially said that. I was just working on walking with no cane and walking down the street and all this stuff. And that was like a couple months before Christmas. So there wasn’t enough time to get my strength up to go skiing yet. But my point is, I was just like, okay, I’m gonna do this. Let me just get determined.

And so I’m gonna ask you to breathe—even people who are skeptical, and then I show ’em under medical equipment and this, that, the other—it’s incredible. Right?

So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you, zero to 10, how much do you have to keep hiding the blueberries?

Daria: I don’t. Zero.

Brandy: Great, great, great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And how much do you need to hide yourself?

Daria: Zero. I don’t.

Brandy: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I want you to notice the level of numbness in your hands. What’s your level? Zero to 10?

Daria: Four.

Brandy: Four. Great. Who’s doing that?

Daria: You are.

Brandy: You are. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. You’re changing. Wow.

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Great. And I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And are you willing to change all of the way? Are you willing to change—to really change and realize you don’t need to hide?

Daria: Yeah. Yes.

Brandy: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Okay. Now, by the way, if I said, “It’s not safe. People are gonna criticize me. I feel sorry for myself.” Thank you for letting me be silly, okay? I could do that if I wanted. If that’s how I wanted to spend my life, right?

Okay. Is that how you want to spend your life?

Daria: No.

Brandy: No. Okay. So if I ask you, how much do you want to feel sorry for yourself?

Daria: Zero. I don’t want to.

Brandy: Zero. And how much do you want to feel amazed with yourself—on what you can do—and heal yourself, change your life, all of that?

Daria: Oh.

Brandy: So to feel amazed with yourself, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Are you willing to change that?

Daria: Yes.

Brandy: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So no more hiding stuff. And also no more feeling sorry for yourself.

Daria: Yes.

Brandy: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And level in your hands—zero to 10. What’s your level?

Daria: Three.

Brandy: Three. Who’s doing that?

Daria: Oh, getting to two. Oh my god, that was exactly—and I have chills. Fantastic job. Look at you.

Brandy: Oh, great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. And I’m gonna ask you—yeah, notice the level in your hands right now.

Daria: Wow. It is moving. I was like going towards one. Crazy.

Brandy: Uhhuh. Who’s doing that?

Daria: Well, me.

Brandy: You. If I ask you right now, how much you’re making a strong emotional shift that you’re really, really, really, really gonna change—can you see that?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And if I ask you—you see how your mom has good intentions for you?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: That’s horrible of her. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. How dare she? How dare she.

Daria: Exactly. Yes, how dare she.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. I’m gonna ask you to notice the level in your hands, zero to 10. What’s your level?

Daria: One.

Brandy: One. Great, great, great, great, great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I want you to notice the part of you—the old you—there we go, the old you that if I push you, you might feel sorry for yourself and cry or be upset or blah blah blah blah blah, right?

Daria: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: Okay. But that’s not you now. Moving forward, you can say, “Okay, oh—is there something I need to change? Is there something I need to do?” So you’re not feeling sorry for yourself. You’re not feeling weak or upset or any of those things. But you’re actually feeling like, “Okay, let me wake up. Let me do this,” right? “Let me do this. Let me change,” right?

Daria: Great.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Level—zero to 10. What’s your level?

Daria: Oh, hands?

Brandy: Mm-hmm.

Daria: Um, like zero and a half.

Brandy: That’s exactly—I would’ve said about a 0.6. So I love that. Right, right there. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.

Solidifying the Emotional Transformation

Brandy: Okay. Now I want you to notice how much you’ve had a lot of fear towards your mom in the past. You can see that, right?

Daria: Yeah.

Brandy: Yeah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I’m gonna ask you to take in the feeling that you’re really, really, really willing to change this—all of the way—to get it ingrained in your nervous system, all of the way. Okay?

So what I want you to do—okay, what I want you to do—I want to invite you to actually go through my program. And I want to invite you to go through and really, really rewire your mind and your subconscious mind in this area at a deeper level. So you really, really, really feel the shift all of the way—where you feel safe, where you’re seeing and feeling in a different way. Does that make sense?

Daria: Beautiful. Yeah.

Brandy: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I have one more question for you. You ready?

Daria: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: How amazing are you?

Daria: Amazing.

Brandy: Yes. What? I said zero to 10, and I expect nothing less than an 11.

Daria: 11.

Brandy: I like it. I like it. I like it. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I’m gonna ask you to take in the feeling that you’re willing to change. Okay?

Fantastic. Fantastic job with your energy. Beautiful. Fantastic job. Okay. Beautiful. So I want you to get this in. I want you to embrace this change all of the way. Does that make sense?

Daria: Beautiful. Yeah.

Brandy: Beautiful. It has been such a pleasure connecting with you. Fantastic job with your energy. Beautiful, beautiful.

Daria: Thank you very much. Thank you very much, Brandy.

Brandy: You’re so, so welcome, beautiful. You’re so welcome.

Reinforcing Change and Final Reflections

Brandy: All right, so let’s go ahead and unpack this even more because there are really a lot of insights from this. But first and foremost, I just have so much respect for her. Fantastic job, fantastic self-awareness, and I just, I love her heart. I love where she’s going. Just absolutely beautiful.

And notice how even as she was able to release her numbness in her hands from a six to down to like, gone—she did that. But notice at the end I said, “Now please make sure—get in my video course also and follow through with this to really follow through and make the change all of the way.”

Now, this is the reason why. Think about somebody—if you just imagine somebody who goes from feeling in life like they need to hide things, like they’re being criticized, feeling sorry for themselves, feeling afraid. So notice, she was saying even in the beginning that she was hiding blueberries because she feels afraid.

So notice—somebody who feels afraid and criticized and has felt afraid of her parents and whatnot, and criticized and like she needs to hide things—to really feeling safe to be herself, confident, feeling good, feeling good about herself and feeling safe—not needing to hide anything. Think about what that looks like for somebody to change like that. That is a real shift. That is a transformation.

And so what you want to think about for a moment is this: all of the time, at the end of every single podcast episode, I always say—I make this look very easy. It does take real, genuine change. And so ultimately what I would want her to do is take this information and really embody the change. Become the change, if you will, so to speak. As the saying goes: become the change.

I’d really want her to make that change all of the way so it becomes a new norm. That is transformation. Now let me explain the mind-body connection here for a moment.

When I say I make this look ridiculously easy, ultimately, when you stop and think about it, she’s been working on mind-body healing and working or trying to figure out how to heal herself for six years, as she said. So she’s been working on that and in, what, 15 minutes? I mean, at first we were just, you know, talking and getting information. But the last 15 minutes she really shifted through that, you know, and was able to make that change, which she did—fantastic.

So let’s talk about how that—what that looks like and how that looks. And a way to think about it is like this:

If you stop and think about the average person with some type of chronic illness—they have good days and bad days. Ups and downs, where they might have flare-ups, so to speak. Or, “Oh, today’s a horrible day,” or “Oh, I’m having a good day.” And so what they don’t realize is that their mind is actually influencing what’s going on. So maybe they have emotions about something or subconscious triggers and they don’t realize that the mind-body connection is at play.

And so ultimately what I did with her is basically shifted her mind to where she needed to start going to healing. But it has to become her new norm.

So if she, in other words, keeps going into the negative—so if she were to go into the negative tomorrow and wanna go hide blueberries, so to speak—the numbness could come right back in a second. Because she could go back into the negative. And that’s the reason that I said, you know, why don’t you go through my video course. Really follow through because that helps rewire the subconscious mind at a deeper level. And tools and techniques and exercises and whatnot to do so—and understanding why the subconscious mind can get stuck or keep going back into the old and whatnot. So—and also, you know, how to establish new neural pathways. I mean, there’s just a lot.

So my point is this: I make this look really easy, and it does take a genuine change. And I want you to think about that change in her life and think about your life and maybe what that genuine change would look like for you in your life. Because it is a transformation.

And so often I see people who are stuck, who are wanting to do all of the things—you know, think positive and do affirmations and meditations and all of the things and binaural beats and frequencies and all those things. And, you know, some of those things could be good, but it does take a real change.

And so I just kind of want to invite you to wrap your mind around what that might look like for you in your life to make a real change. Because what happens is, as we make that real change, that’s the gift. It really does become life-changing. And that’s why, you know, as I mentioned previously, it’s—heal yourself, change your life. It’s literally who you become as you really heal that is incredible.

Even if we think about Daria here in this example—imagine who she becomes as she really steps into this transformation that I’m inviting her to step into. It’s pivotal. It’s like she becomes her next best self. And so that’s the insight that I want to invite you to look at, is exactly that. Just thinking about that real transformation.

Because so often, again, people get stuck on just trying to release an emotion or whatnot, or release the stress. And not only are they not really changing, but the other thing is this: they don’t realize that it can be all around them in life, continuing to keep them stuck or keep them triggered—you know, hiding blueberries, so to speak. So insignificant. But that feeling of needing to hide things.

And so what happens is the trigger’s there, and the trigger’s there, and the trigger’s there, and the trigger’s there—and it makes it hard, or feel even impossible, to create that change. And so that’s ultimately what we need to do, is really change the way we feel, change the way we show up, and change that programming in our minds so we respond in a different way to genuinely step into a real transformation.

And so—just food for thought. Again, looking at what that could look like in your life.

Final Thoughts and Sharing the Message

And as always, I want to ask you to please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know. Because the more that every single person in our world realizes how amazing we all are, and the more that every single person is happy and healthy and loved and loving and empowered—the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button or even just leave a review or a comment. That would be fantastic. Also, please do make a point to have a most wonderful, incredible, and transformative rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We’ll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life.