312: What If Healing Isn’t Hard? …Just Different. (A Healing Breakthrough After 30 Years of Trying)

[00:00:00] Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gilmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind, and then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let’s begin. [00:01:00]

Hello and happy beautiful day to you. On today’s episode, I work with a beautiful volunteer. Her name is Andy, and you’re absolutely going to love her. Just the insights that come from today’s episode are just really profound. And by the way, I feel so blessed that we just continuously get the best volunteers — you know, just people who have their awarenesses and just the epiphany. And it’s like you can see the shift, the transformation, and it’s so beautiful.

And that is so true with today’s episode. Now, one of the things that I really love about today’s episode is our volunteer. She’s been on working healing herself for like 30 plus something years. So she’s literally tried everything that she could think of and nothing has been working.

And what I love is that she can see and even [00:02:00] get results as we’re going through today’s session. And so I love that. And what I also love is that you’ll notice she’s, as we’re going through and working with her mind, she goes, “I never looked at it that way.” And that’s the thing — you want to remember that to get a different result, we have to work with the mind. We have to work with the mind in healing in a different way. And that’s what’s really beautiful.

And by the way, her heart also — you just notice she’s, she’s just lovely. So she’s lovely. There’s incredible insights, just so many things that I love about today’s episode. And part of the reason I also just love the awarenesses is because I know, of course, personally what it felt like to literally feel like I was trying everything and nothing was working, and then to start working with a mind in a different way. And where just everything came together.

And so that of course is where we’re going. And so on that note, [00:03:00] let’s dive in with our beautiful volunteer, Andy. Here we go.

Hi. You’re perfect. You’re perfect. It is wonderful to connect with you. I’m so happy to meet you. I can’t even tell you. It’s really funny ’cause I found you again. Like I went and I went online, I found all this stuff and then I went to look you back up and I saw something from 2021 when I had been watching you even then.

Brandy: Oh, it’s funny. I like that. I like that. And I’m glad you circled back. It’s wonderful to connect with you. What can I do for you today?

Andy: Well, I’ve been doing this, um, I’ve been on this journey, I would say since I’m 19. Um, and I’ve done everything you can imagine — self-help, books, retreats, meditation, energy [00:04:00] work, you name it. Health. I’m a health coach. I’m you like all this stuff, right? But my body just keeps seeming to take on more and more. I’m having just different illnesses pop up.

In the past year, out of nowhere, um, my hips, my glute, my back and one side, and then it switched to the other, and now they’re talking about a hip replacement. Um, I also get migraines. I’ve had migraines for 30 years and they’re progressively getting worse and they literally sit in my neck.

Anyway, my main thing is that I really can’t figure out the root. Like there’s something underlying, like there’s something — and I don’t even — you don’t have to know exactly what it is. But, um, I feel like I’m missing something and I want to heal myself.

Brandy: I like it. I like it. I like that you want to heal yourself, not the other stuff. We’re getting rid of that stuff. Um, I like your attitude. You’re beautiful and lovely and, all right, so give me one second. Okay. So, uh, if I ask you as far as, okay, so as far as the hip replacement, pain, all of that — what is your level currently?

Andy: Right now? Right now I would say it’s like a seven at the moment. I’m not walking. So bing. Yeah, about a seven, eight.

Brandy: Okay. So there’s that. All right. And then as far as the headaches, when was the last headache you had?

Andy: Um, the last terrible one. I was in the hospital last week. Um, but I get them pretty much every day, but it ranges in terms of severity.

Brandy: Okay. And, uh, hip — yeah, I have about a 7, 7, 8 in there. And as far as your neck right now, what is your level in your neck?

Andy: You’re at a 10. Bingo. I, I’d say, um, at the moment, a [00:06:00] five.

Brandy: Bingo. Okay. So, uh, let me give you — give me one second. That… Bingo.

[continues…]

Unpacking the Emotional Roots of Pain

Brandy: Okay. Uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe… and bingo. And I’m gonna ask you, whether it’s true or not — if I ask you how much you can find the feeling of feeling like attacked from others or needing to defend yourself from others, zero to 10, what’s your level?

Andy: 11.

Brandy: 11. Okay. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe, okay? And, uh, bingo. And, um, bingo. And so I want you to notice also the feeling of hurt under that. Zero to 10, what’s your level again?

Andy: Over 10. Mm-hmm. 11, 12.

Brandy: Yeah. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe… Bingo. Okay. So there’s the feeling of almost feeling like, um — bingo — also like, uh, nitpicked. Are you familiar with that? Like picked at, if you will? Zero to 10, how much can you find that?

Andy: I can remember the feeling. It’s not current, but yeah.

Brandy: Okay. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe… and bingo. And I want you to notice the feeling of needing to defend yourself, right?

Andy: Yeah. Over 10. Okay. 12.

Brandy: Okay. So now I want you to picture somebody who’s always feeling like they’re defensive — they’re needing to defend, defend, defend, defend, defend. If I ask you, how does that go for them typically? So if patterns breed more of the same and breed more of the same and breed more of the same… Then if that pattern is breeding more of the same, then what’s showing up in your life?

Andy: More of that, right?

Brandy: Yeah. Or the same?

Andy: Okay. Yeah, more of the same.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe… and what would happen — what would happen if you didn’t defend yourself? Like would people karate chop you or…?

Andy: No, it’s a very old hurt kind of thing.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So I want you to notice the feeling of needing to defend yourself and defend. And I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Okay?

Rewiring Emotional Patterns

Brandy: Now. I want you to notice also how you can see that — if I ask you, can you find the feeling of feeling like sometimes, like you feel like you want people to understand. You just want people to understand. Understand, right?

Andy: Yeah, totally.

Brandy: Okay. And if I ask you how often also your mind is wanting to come up with excuses around things — “but this happened because of this, it happened because of that” — the defend, the defend, the defend, right?

Andy: Yes.

Brandy: Okay. So now watch this. If I told you, “Oh, I have an excuse to keep me safe. I have an excuse to keep me safe. I have an excuse…” — how many more excuses do I want if I’m telling myself excuses keep me safe, right?

Andy: No… uh, I’m just thinking about how, um, the excuse thing…

Brandy: Okay. So, uh, you want people to understand. “I want people to understand.” Yes?

Andy: Yes.

Brandy: Okay. So when you think about people understanding the reason — okay, let’s do this. I want you to notice how bad you’re wanting people to understand the reason. Can you see that?

Andy: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: And if I ask you, how well would you say that you’re — how much would you say you are giving them understanding?

Andy: So my issue… is that — and, but you know what I’m saying? Like it’s… I, I try to give them a lot of grace, but it’s on things that really are important to me. So it hurts me because I’m trying to not have confrontation with somebody else or hurt them, or I want this for them, but it’s hurting me. I don’t know if it makes sense… unpacking you… me?

Brandy: Yeah. Yeah. I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And I want you to notice how much hurt is under this, okay? There’s a lot of tears under this. You see this, right?

Andy: In a heartbeat. Heartbeat. I cry anything, anytime. It’s all at the surface.

Brandy: Mm-hmm. Okay. And so what I want you to notice — notice this feeling of just frustration, of feeling like you can’t be heard. You see that, right?

Andy: Okay.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Now, if I ask you, why do you want them to understand?

Andy: To be validated.

Brandy: Okay. So you want people to validate you.

Andy: I know.

Brandy: So you need to be validated… like… kind of like if you go to the parking garage and they’re validating your parking ticket?

Andy: I… I just… I… um…

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.

[…continues in Part 3]

Letting Go of the Need for Validation

Brandy: I get it. I get it. So notice for a moment, there’s a lot of hurt here, right?

So notice — I’ve just made a ridiculous comment about the parking garage, right? Why? Because we’re working on this depth. And I also know that if we go too far into it too — like there’s a lot here, right? A lot, a lot, a lot. Like you said, once you go into it, you’re — there’s a lot of hurt, right?

Andy: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: Now, the last thing I wanna have happen is your pain to go up. Could that happen?

Andy: Yes. Totally.

Brandy: We go way into it, we get totally — bring it up.

Andy: Yeah.

Brandy: Do we want that? Meh.

Andy: Yeah, I do.

Brandy: I’m not a fan of pain personally. I spent way too many years in it.

Andy: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: So the reason I’ll be a bit ridiculous and playful and whatnot is because I don’t want to take the chance of increasing your pain, okay? So then I’m a little silly and I go, “Oh, parking garage, you mean like validation?” and I say random things. You go, “What is Brandy talking about?” And it’s exactly that, okay?

Or then I ramble on for a second to kind of just give us a breather — to kinda go, okay, yeah, there’s this thing here, there’s this thing, and there’s this hurt, right?

Andy: Yeah. Oh wow. Yeah.

Brandy: Well, that’s interesting. Look at all this hurt. You wanna keep it, right?

Andy: No.

Brandy: Just checking. Smart. I wouldn’t recommend it. I wouldn’t recommend — yeah. You’ve kept it for way too long, long. Um, I don’t know if anybody told you this, but you’re supposed to throw that stuff out.

Andy: Yeah. Yeah.

Brandy: So I’m gonna —

Andy: Difficult.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And smile. And I hear you. And I understand.

So notice for a moment, you and I have never spoken before, and yet we went right to these emotions, right?

So if I interrupt, it’s not because I don’t understand you — it’s because I do understand enough to see, right?

So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.

And also if I interrupt, it’s not because what you have to say is not important. It’s just either because I want your mind to work in a different way, or I don’t want to go too fast and escalate anything that would then send us in the wrong direction. Make sense?

Andy: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: Fantastic. All right. So, uh, so give me one second. Bingo. Bingo.

Exploring the Root Emotional Timeline

Brandy: Okay. So there’s a lot of hurt coming in, like at age 24. Do you know why?

Andy: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: Okay. And if I ask you what that was regarding?

Andy: Um, it was — I was — at that moment, I would say I was in the middle of an eating disorder and I was married to somebody who —

Brandy: Bingo.

Andy: — wanted me to snap out of it.

Brandy: Okay. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. So what you’re saying is he wanted the best for you and that was just messed up, right?

Andy: I don’t think he wanted the best for me.

Brandy: Okay. But wait a sec, wait a sec. He wanted you to come out of your eating disorder though, right?

Andy: Yes.

Brandy: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.

Brandy: And how many siblings do you have?

Andy: I have three.

Brandy: Bingo. Bingo. Um, and if I ask you how much you had fighting at a younger age, zero to 10, what’s your level?

Andy: I’ve never fought. I just cry.

Brandy: What’s that?

Andy: I just — I always cry. I don’t —

Brandy: Right? Yes, yes. So — but from chaos, not physical fighting, but —

Andy: Oh yeah. Total chaos. Yes. Uh, yes.

Brandy: Okay. So age eight, uh, there’s a sibling. Do you know — can you give me the initials of your siblings please?

Andy: Um, CK and then MM —

Brandy: Bingo.

Andy: — and M.

Brandy: Bingo. Okay. And say the two M — see the M and M again?

Andy: They’re both M and M.

Brandy: Mm-hmm. Okay. Say ’em both — both of them again.

Andy: MM.

Brandy: Bingo. So, all right, so you know which one I’m talking about when I say the MMN one — M and whatever the first — you know which one, right?

Andy: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Brandy: Okay. Great. So as long as you know, that’s what I need.

[…continues in Part 4]

Emotional Recognition and the Inner Critic

Brandy: So sometimes what happens is you go to say something and then my bingo comes out of my mouth right on top of it. So I can’t even hear you ’cause all I hear is my bingo. So, uh, that’s the way that shows up. Uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Um, here we go. Bingo.

Brandy: Okay. So you know the feeling of feeling like people are being mean to you. You can see that, right?

Andy: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: Okay. So even in that relationship that you were in at age 24, you can see how you felt like he was just really mean to you. Can you see that?

Andy: No. No.

Brandy: No? Okay. So what would you say you felt toward him? So he didn’t even — so you said he did not have your best interest in mind, right?

Andy: No, that was my ex-husband, yes. Oh, yeah. Didn’t have my best interest in mind, yes. We were just talking about my — at age —

Brandy: The one — what’s that?

Andy: The eating disorder. I’m sorry. The one at the time of the eating disorder. That one right there.

Brandy: Talking about your — your husband or are you talking about your brother at that time?

Andy: Um, can you give me the — the age? 24?

Brandy: Mm-hmm. Eating disorder. You said you were in a relationship with somebody who just wanted you to snap out of it, right?

Andy: Right. Mm-hmm.

Brandy: That person’s initials?

Andy: SM.

Brandy: Okay. And not that person? Bingo. Uh, and can you give me your brother’s initials please?

Andy: MM.

Brandy: Bingo. Okay. Bingo. And so if I ask you zero to 10 how much you have felt picked on by your brother, what would you say?

Andy: Zero.

Brandy: And, uh, bingo. Who was the NM person? Can you say that person again?

Andy: They’re both MM.

Brandy: Okay. This is making a little confusing. Hold on one second. I — I know that’s — bingo. Give me one second. Let me go in a different way. ‘Cause I don’t — I — I always want to respect everybody, so I don’t add anybody’s name. Uh, so give me one second. Um, bingo.

Brandy: Okay, let’s do this. So growing up, if I ask you how often you were crying, what would you say?

Andy: A lot.

Brandy: And why?

Andy: Every — every situation. Um, probably that same thing with the feeling valid. I was just not heard at all. Uh, every — all my feelings, everything was invalidated. Like my dad was ill and everything was about him, and it trumped any feeling, any — anything. And I just — I held a lot inside because things were happening chaotic on the outside.

Brandy: So you’re also being put down for that?

Andy: Bingo.

Brandy: Okay. So who was putting you down for that?

Andy: My mom.

Brandy: Okay. And give me her initial?

Andy: Bingo.

Brandy: Bingo. Thank you. Okay. So, uh, bingo. That was the other person. Okay. So, um, bingo. And so if I ask you — so notice whenever I said, when I said you felt like somebody was being mean to you, okay, or picking on you, right?

Andy: Mm-hmm.

Brandy: So notice the feeling when I said being mean to you or picking on you — and you said, somebody’s always putting me down. Okay? So — so — so it’s… Yes, the — the — the energy showing up. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.

From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion

Brandy: Okay. Bingo. There we go. Okay. So, um, bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe.

And what if nobody’s putting you down?

Andy: I put myself down.

Brandy: What?

Andy: I put myself down.

Brandy: Oh, okay. So how’s that going for everybody else?

Andy: Yeah.

Brandy: Yep. So how’s that going for you?

Andy: It’s horrible.

Brandy: Oh, okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Bingo.

But notice the feeling that — you know you put yourself down, but notice how you feel like it’s everybody else. Can you see that?

Andy: Definitely.

Brandy: Okay. So, uh, so I love your awareness and I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And how much longer would you like to put yourself down for?

Andy: Not at all. Never.

Brandy: Not — well, I mean like five more years, or…

Andy: No, 10 — not even 10 seconds.

Brandy: Okay. Smart. I like that. I like the way you think. I — I like the way you think. That’s good. Not even 10 seconds. That’s — that’s — that’s a better plan. That’s a better plan.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Bingo.

[…continues in Part 5]

Letting Go of Defensiveness

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice the part of you that also feels very defensive towards others. And notice how that feeling is there too. You see that, right?

Andy: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Brandy: So, um, bingo. If I ask you in the last week how much you felt defensive towards others, you’re at a 10. What’s your level?

Andy: Seven.

Brandy: That’s exactly what I would’ve said. Exactly. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And that defensiveness — what did it save you from? Like, if I’m defending myself, what am I protecting myself from?

Andy: Nothing.

Brandy: All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment.

Insight Break: The Energy of Defensiveness

Brandy (narration): You know, I just love her awareness. I love her awareness about the defensiveness, but just also her heart — the way she shows up, just really beautiful. But what’s beautiful is this — it’s so often people can be in that defensive energy, and then they defend being in the defensive energy. And it’s just that feeling over and over of needing to defend.

And so often I see people who feel that way, and of course, there’s a part of them who feels that way because they feel like they’re right. And so it’s like they have to keep going and keep going because they feel like they’re right and they feel like they need to protect or be heard or whatnot. And instead of actually helping them get what they want, it backfires and it keeps them from the very thing that they’re wanting.

Because when you look at Andy for a moment, I mean, you just — you can tell she’s pure love. She’s love. She wants love. She is love. And also, this defensive feeling is impacting her life in multiple ways.

And so that’s an insight that I want to share with you — if you do have that pattern, I’d invite you to look at that. Because so often people will have that reactiveness, like they’re defending. And it’s because… and when you stop and think about it, you go, “Wait — defending against what?”

And then so often people realize — and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this — where people have a pattern of feeling defensive, and when they get rid of the pattern — because defensiveness can be such a reaction — when they really get rid of it, they start to realize they’re not actually really hearing the other person so well because they have all of those emotions.

And so it’s like they can’t fully hear the other person. Now, of course, what’s really beautiful about Andy is that she gets there. As she mentioned, she — she gets there and she sees it. Like she — she knows. She can see both. She can see that she’s got all of these emotions and they trigger and they fire really fast. And then she can also see that when she calms down, she does know what to do and how to move things forward in a beautiful way.

And so of course that can create a lot of pain — physical, emotional, spiritual, like, you know, just all of the things. And so I just — I love her awareness and her willingness to change. And so often I’ll see people who are stuck in that.

And the problem is — people, when they’re defensive, they typically defend, defend, defend. And it keeps them stuck.

And by the way, I have literally seen people also who — maybe sometimes what’ll happen is they make a mistake and they want to defend their mistake, and they’re not realizing that on the other end, somebody else is having to deal with that mistake. So then, like they make a mistake and they go, “But, but, but listen…”

And what they’re not realizing is they want to be heard, they want to be acknowledged. But on the other end of it, the other person’s dealing with the end of the mistake. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that happen.

So point being — I want to invite you to look at, if you do have a pattern of defensiveness, just identifying what is going on at a deeper level. Taking a second look at it. And what you’ll notice is — of course, it can be healing at a deeper level.

And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Andy. Here we go.

Brandy: So you did all of that — level seven — and it protected you from nothing.

Andy: Yes. And most of it was assumptions.

Brandy: Yes. Okay. So basically, you are defending yourself against a whole lot of nothing.

Andy: Yes. And you’re spending a lot of energy doing it. Okay?

Brandy: Yes. So much yes. And my life, honestly — yes.

[…continues in Part 6]

Interrupting the Cycle of Self-Validation and Pain

Brandy: Okay. Now this is the thing — I gotta tell you. There’s a part of me that’s gonna wanna do what? Invalidate your feelings and be like, “Wait a second, why do you need to feel defensive?”

(Andy’s cat meows in the background.)

Andy: Aww, and he’s gonna want — beautiful. He’s beautiful. Uh, isn’t he beautiful?

Brandy: Yes. This is my baby. Aww.

Pause for a Moment of Joy

Brandy (narration): All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a really quick moment. You know, first and foremost, if you are listening on audio and you’re not seeing the video — what just happened is my cat just jumped up. And he is so precious. He’s this just beautiful, beautiful being. And so that’s when she says, “He’s so precious, he’s so cute,” — yes, he just jumped up.

Usually, he doesn’t always jump up, typically during a podcast, but he wanted in today. So I love that.

Insight: Validation vs. Healing

And also, a quick insight is this — notice that I’m starting to talk to her about invalidating emotions. And for some people, I can tell you all of the time, people want what, typically? Typically, they want their emotions to be validated. There is a craving for them to be validated.

But think about it like this for a moment — just on a very, very simple note: imagine if somebody is feeling anxiety and they’re having a panic attack, and so they’re feeling anxiety, they’re having a panic attack. And somebody says, “The panic is real. The panic is real.” That’s not going to be helpful, right?

Or if somebody’s feeling embarrassed and then they’re feeling really embarrassed and somebody else says, “Yeah, you should really feel embarrassed.” That’s not going to help.

So to speak — thinking about the mind-body connection for a moment — or if somebody’s in fear and they’re having a lot of fear and somebody says, “Yeah, you should be in a ton of fear.” That’s not helpful.

Now think about it — a lot of times, the three emotions I just mentioned — panic and fear and embarrassment — people don’t want to have those validated. So those ones typically aren’t validated.

But what will happen on the flip side — somebody feels hurt, or they feel wronged, or they feel like a victim — how often are those validated? All of the time. People say, “Yeah, I can’t believe he did this,” or “She did that,” or whatnot. And it fuels the pattern inside that can create more and more and more health issues, more problems — all of the things — reinforcing the pattern. And I see it all of the time.

And so, food for thought. So we’re going to unpack this even more. But the reason that I say that — and we talk about this coming up — is all of the time, as soon as people hear about their emotions being invalidated, they immediately — a lot of times, especially if there’s somebody who’s been on the spiritual or self-help or personal self-healing journey for a while — they think, “Oh, this is horrible.”

But — think about it like this for a moment — we get emotions that impact the physical body. And if we keep validating and validating, they unfortunately keep affecting the physical body. So that’s one thing.

We also get emotions that are misfired in the mind — and that’s another. And so what happens is that they can affect us at a deeper level.

And I’ll unpack this even more coming up to just explain it even more. But I want you to see where we’re going, because you’ll notice — she starts actually getting rid of her pain. And she starts doing that. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with beautiful Andy. Here we go.

Brandy: Uh-oh. Yeah. Did you wanna come up and say hi?

Andy: Beautiful. So precious. He is so precious.

Brandy: So if I ask you — you mentioned from the eating disorder, somebody wanted you to change like that. And not only that, but people have invalidated your emotions. So what if I’m wanting to say you don’t need to be defensive — and you don’t need to be validated? Am I going to then invalidate your need to feel validated?

Andy: Yeah.

Brandy: Yeah. Oh man. Well, that’s no good. So you want to keep it? You want to keep being defensive?

Andy: No.

Brandy: But then what if I invalidate it? Are you going to be upset with me?

Andy: No.

Brandy: Okay, great. I’ll upset myself?

Andy: That’s not helpful.

Brandy: No. Wrong direction. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.

Brandy: And if we’re supposed to be doing this thing where you’re getting rid of pain, you can’t sit here and be mad at yourself. That’s the wrong direction. Right?

Andy: Right. Wrong direction.

Brandy: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo.

[…continues in Part 7]

Choosing Empowerment Over Past Pain

Brandy: So I want you to notice the feeling of defensiveness. Bingo.

And I want you to imagine if you let that go — if you let go of needing to be validated, if you let go of needing to be defensive. Imagine you step into a place of confidence and strength where you know your truth, and you don’t need to explain it or defend it to anyone.

Andy: That would feel amazing.

Brandy: Yes, that’s the shift. That’s where we’re going. And the beautiful part is, when you get there — really get there — it not only changes your emotions, it starts to change your body too.

So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Deep breath. And I want you to feel into that feeling — the one where you no longer have anything to prove. You just are. You are aligned with yourself. You are grounded in your truth.

Andy: Yeah. I can feel that. I feel it now.

Brandy: Good. And in that place, I want you to say, “I choose peace.”

Andy: I choose peace.

Brandy: “I choose confidence.”

Andy: I choose confidence.

Brandy: “I choose to be free.”

Andy: I choose to be free.

Brandy: Beautiful. So I want you to take that in — deeply. Let it soak in. Because that’s the energy shift that begins to heal. When we’re stuck in old emotional patterns, we’re recreating the same pain over and over. But when we shift — really shift — we can start to transform everything.

Checking the Pain Levels

Brandy: Now, if I ask you right now — where is the pain in your neck?

Andy: It’s definitely down. I would say about a three.

Brandy: Beautiful. And what about your hip?

Andy: Still there, but also a little better. Probably around a six now.

Brandy: That’s amazing. So we’re seeing some shift already — and that’s from starting to let go of those emotional patterns.

Now, of course, it’s a process — it’s not like flipping a switch. But the more you practice this — aligning with confidence, letting go of defensiveness, stepping out of the need for validation — the more results you’ll see.

And I want to acknowledge how beautifully you’re showing up. You’re feeling into it. You’re being open. And that’s powerful. That’s everything.

Andy: Thank you. I really do feel something’s changing. I feel like I’m starting to understand it on a deeper level.

Brandy: And that’s exactly it. When it clicks — when it really clicks — things begin to shift fast.

So I want to invite you to keep doing this. Keep aligning with that energy — not from a place of needing to fix yourself, but from a place of choosing to thrive. Choosing to live in your truth and your joy.

Andy: Yes. I want that. I’m ready for it.

Brandy: I believe you. And I know you can do it.

[…continues in Part 8]

Anchoring in a New Identity

Brandy: So now, I want to take this a step further. I want you to imagine living your life from this new space. Imagine waking up each morning feeling peaceful, confident, and empowered. And imagine how differently people respond to you when you’re no longer needing to defend yourself or be understood — because you already know your truth.

Andy: That would be a whole new life. It feels lighter just thinking about it.

Brandy: Exactly. That lightness — that’s your new direction. That’s your new identity. And when you practice stepping into that, every single day, it becomes your new norm.

Now, if I ask you, how long do you think you’ve been in the old pattern of defensiveness and self-criticism?

Andy: Probably since I was a child. Honestly, my whole life.

Brandy: Right. And how long have we been shifting that pattern today?

Andy: Maybe 30 minutes?

Brandy: Exactly. So it makes sense that the old pattern still wants to cling. But with repetition — with emotional commitment — that new energy becomes your reality.

And it’s important that you don’t just “think” about the new energy. You need to feel it. Live in it. Practice it. Because the body responds to the emotions you live in consistently. That’s how it heals.

Staying Committed to the Change

Brandy: So I’m going to ask you to commit to something, just for today. Every time you feel the urge to defend yourself, I want you to pause, breathe, and remind yourself: “I don’t need to defend. I choose peace and power.”

Andy: Okay. I can do that.

Brandy: And every time you catch a critical thought — anything that puts yourself down — I want you to flip it. Immediately. Replace it with a thought of compassion, or a reminder of your strength.

Andy: That feels doable. It feels like something I can actually start implementing right now.

Brandy: Perfect. Because healing doesn’t start someday. It starts now. With a choice. With a new emotional commitment. You’ve got this.

Andy: Thank you. Truly. This session has been more helpful than so many things I’ve tried in years. I feel like something real shifted today.

Brandy: I love that. I can feel the shift too. And I want you to keep going. Don’t stop here — because there’s so much more waiting for you on the other side of this transformation. Keep feeding the new pattern. Keep living from the new energy. And most of all — keep believing in yourself.

Andy: I will. Thank you, Brandy. I’m really grateful.

Brandy: You’re so welcome. You’re beautiful. And I’m sending you so much love on your journey. You’re doing amazing.

Closing Thoughts

Brandy (narration): All right, so that was our session with beautiful Andy. And just wow — you can feel her heart. Her spirit. And also how much emotion she’s been carrying for years. And I know so many people can relate to that — to trying everything and still feeling stuck.

But what’s so powerful is that the shift really started to happen when she let go of needing to be validated and started anchoring into a new sense of peace and self-worth.

And that’s the thing I want to leave you with today — your healing doesn’t have to come from the outside. It begins with a new energy on the inside. A new emotional pattern. A new way of being.

So I want to invite you to reflect on today’s session and ask yourself: where am I still holding on to defensiveness, or the need to be validated, or old patterns that no longer serve me?

And then, take that brave step to let it go. And step into the empowered, confident, peaceful version of you — because that’s where the healing begins.

As always, I want to say thank you for being here. For being on this journey. And for having the courage to heal. You are truly incredible. I’ll see you next week.