Brandy Gillmore: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to Heal Yourself, change Your Life. I’m Brandy Gillmore, and I just love that you are here. It is truly incredible what we are capable of when we really understand the power of our own minds. In fact, one of the things that I am most known for is even demonstrating mind body healing under medical equipment, so you can really see the results.
And my work has been published in a medical journal, if you’d like to see the before and after results, the link to my research is in the show notes. And on this podcast, I’ll be sharing with you powerful insights to help you bridge the gap between science and spirituality and personal empowerment to really make everything logical.
Because so often I see people who have been working on healing themselves for many years, and [00:01:00] yet they’re still feeling stuck searching for answers. And I know that feeling all too well because I suffered my own injury back in 2003, and it took me years to figure out how to heal myself. And so that’s what I share with you on this podcast is those discoveries that I found that made all of the difference.
And so you’ll find two types of episodes here. First and foremost is a volunteer demonstration insight where I work with a live volunteer and I share with you the specific insights that help them to make a radical change so you can take what applies to you and start implementing that in your own life.
The second episode is what I call an IQ episode for insights and questions, and this is where I answer audience questions about how mind-body healing works and how we can use our minds to create a radical shift in your health, your life, and your happiness. And so that [00:02:00] said, let’s begin.
Hello and welcome. It is so wonderful to connect with you. I just love that you are here continuing to expand your mind, your energy, your consciousness, your healing. I just love it and I just love today’s episode. It is so good. And just the level of awareness and also the way that it really shows how counterintuitive the mind can be is just really helpful because one of the parts of working with the mind is just exactly that, is just how illogical it can be or just how it has a different type of logic.[00:03:00]
And of course, the example that you hear me use all of the time is this, is that unfortunately, even a cutter who may cut themselves and feel. Relief or euphoria or control or safety from cutting themselves or a person can get it linked up, that self-sacrifice makes them a good person. And so that can repeat or even feelings of pride in hardship, and that can get linked up where a person that feels that sense of pride and hardship, and it becomes a pattern over and over and over because that gets misfired.
And of course, for all of these, we can have an absolute feeling of compassion. And so often people are unknowingly creating this link in their lives. And so maybe it wasn’t even there in their youth, but they continue to go throughout life and then they start linking up negative emotions to positive things that then creates a problem or a pattern, or a [00:04:00] hardship or illness or stress, or a subconscious fear.
And it creates more and more of a problem. We talked about this very thing on the last IQ episode where people can get it linked up in their mind, that illness. They, they might say something like, oh, you know, oh, that last diagnosis was such a blessing. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, or something like that.
So they link up that illness was a blessing. Or I’ve seen people say, you know, oh, that illness, oh, it was such a gift. And that problem is they link up the problem or anything negative with gift and those feelings get linked up at a deeper level. Now, by the way, one of the reasons that I speak to this all of the time is of course, because it’s something that comes up all of the time.
It’s even in my book because it comes up so often. But also after I gave my TEDx talk as I was getting off stage and I was of [00:05:00] course, you know, speaking to people in the audience and I remember somebody came up to me. They said, you know, wow, I wish I had some type of injury or accident that changed my life.
And I said, wait a second. You don’t need that. You don’t want that. You don’t need a problem to change your life. You know, the reality of it is, is that most people who have what I had don’t heal. So that was not the gift. The gift was that I learned how to heal myself. The gift was that I changed, that. I really began to understand the mind and energy in a whole new way.
And so the gift. In that case isn’t the problem, the illness, the hardship? You don’t want to link that up. But instead the gift is, transformation is the solution, is happiness, is empowerment, is self-healing. And so change is the gift. Transformation is the gift. Personal empowerment through healing or [00:06:00] understanding the subconscious mind is a gift.
And so you only want to link up positive things that you want to the gift or the blessing or positive connection to positive things that you want. That’s the key. So in other words, if you tell your mind that, Hey, more hugs is a gift, fantastic. If you tell your mind, Hey, a negative problem or hardship or illness is a gift, eek, you don’t want to tell your mind that because anything, it links up to being the gift, anything associated with it.
It creates a feeling of wanting more of that. And I can’t tell you how many times over the years that I have seen people who have been in that very situation where they have linked up some type of illness or problem and they say, oh, that was such a blessing, or a gift or whatnot, or a blessing in disguise, or whatever it is.
But they linked up some type of [00:07:00] negative circumstance in some way, shape or form to a positive situation. And then it makes the subconscious mind want it at a deeper level. And so it can become counterintuitive. And by the way, that very pattern can show up in a variety of different ways. That counterintuitive pattern can show up.
Even if we know better, it can show up because that emotional connection in the subconscious mind can have such a profound effect. And so on that note. That’s where we’re going today is some of the counterintuitive links that get stuck in the subconscious mind. And what I love is our volunteer today.
Her name is tj. And I’m telling you, you’re just absolutely going to love her. You can’t help but love her. She’s just, she’s so precious and so caring and sweet, just kind. She’s just, she’s beautiful. And [00:08:00] as we start to dive in and you hear her story, you have of course a lot of compassion. Not sympathy, compassion, it’s, but you also can see how she’s brilliant.
She’s very, very smart. And yet her conscious mind and her emotions are in different places, and it’s impacting her health and her life. And so that’s where we’re going as we step in with our beautiful volunteer tj. Here we go.
Hello, tj.
TJ: Hello, this is tj.
Brandy Gillmore: Hi. It’s wonderful to connect
TJ: with you. Oh my gosh. I’m so excited to be talking to you. I just heard your voice so many times. It’s amazing to actually talk to you.
Brandy Gillmore: I love that. That’s so sweet to talk to you. Thank you. Beautiful. What can I help you with today?
TJ: I have had ongoing pain. I’ve got the kind of pain in three areas of my body, but right now most of my pain is [00:09:00] in my belly, kind of upper belly, like, almost like solar plexes. I get bloating, I get a lot of pain. Um, I fully believe that our brains and bodies are connected and, um, that there’s something in my subconscious that is holding onto something. Um, I just don’t know what it is. I just stuck at what it is now. I did have a big diagnosis a few years ago, and that is a source of another, like another source of pain in my, in my chest. And, um, I think it might be a, it might be part of the direction just because I don’t, I, that was a really big one for me, just because I, I, it was. A real shock to get a diagnosis that I was not expecting.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. What was that diagnosis?
TJ: It was, um, breast cancer on the right side.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And I’m assuming in the way that you’re speaking about it, the diagnosis is now gone? Is that correct?
TJ: Well, it’s [00:10:00] not a hundred percent. Okay. Um, it’s not a hundred percent. Okay. It’s, it, it, it’s, um, it’s a, it’s a, I was left with a lot of scar tissue and they are constantly unsure if there’s anything else there. Um, and so I, I’m, I’ve never, was never given the, like the green light. Like, oh yeah, you’re all done. Because of the way that I did my procedure, it was a bit, um, there’s a bit of a vagueness that was left there. Okay. And I, you know, that might be wearing on my psyche. I don’t really know.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Are you okay if we check into that energy as well?
TJ: Absolutely.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah, absolutely. Okay. All right, here we go. Um, and the pain right now that is in the upper part of your stomach, zero to 10, what is the level with that
TJ: pain? Um, you know, it’s funny, I thought I would have like, kind of not much right now because I get it a lot more when I’m lying down. Um, of course, especially at night when I’m trying to sleep. But I do actually feel it right now. I would say it’s not super high, but it’s [00:11:00] maybe like a four.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Four, five right in there. Okay. So, um, bingo. So gimme one second. Bingo. Okay, so there’s like a feeling of like a feeling of a, like a broken heart, like a crying is sadness. Do you know what that’s from by chance?
TJ: I could probably like, speculate a lot of different things, but I don’t know that I could tell you.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
TJ: Definitively. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay, so gimme one second. Bingo. There’s a feeling of like a loss or a distance of somebody close. And I can’t tell in the energy if it’s a, if it’s a breakup or a death or a disconnect or a hurt, but there’s a, there’s a, do you know who that might be?
TJ: Um, well, and I think the reason why it be, it would be hard for me to pinpoint it is because I have both my parents passed away in the last couple of years. [00:12:00] Bingo. Um, bingo and, yeah. Okay. And one of, one of them was more recently than the other. So the other, the, the one was my father who was, uh, a year and a half ago.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Um, and I don’t think it’s him, but Can you give me his initial?
TJ: It’s, uh, d.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And can you give me your mother’s initial, please?
TJ: It’s also D
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. And can you say your mother’s, uh, D again, please?
TJ: Uh, no, just,
Brandy Gillmore: just say, just say D. It’s okay. Oh,
TJ: just say D. Yeah, it’s D or your mother. Yeah, my mother is, my mother is also D
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. So I would also say, uh, the, that one felt, uh, shocking, jarring. Um, are you familiar with that?
TJ: Yes, absolutely. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe Bingo. Uh, and if I ask you, um, if I ask you zero to 10, uh, well, if I ask you, first and foremost, if I ask you to notice if [00:13:00] you can find the feeling of guilt around her, uh, passing.
TJ: Yeah, absolutely.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And if I ask you zero to 10, how high?
TJ: Um, it’s pretty high.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm.
TJ: Like eight or nine,
Brandy Gillmore: that’s exactly what I would’ve said about a level eight. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what I have. Okay. So, absolutely. And if I ask you why is it so high?
TJ: Um, the, she was actually kind of asking for help and, uh, there was a belief that. She was like, was delusional and she wasn’t. She was, she was actually, the fear that she had was true. And, um, it might have been part of the reason why she passed away. So that’s it. It, it, it feels like if we had listened, you know, there, there might have been a different, different outcome.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And, um, and that’s what your energy says. It’s like this feeling of feeling like you didn’t do enough and you’re beating yourself up for it. You can see that, right? [00:14:00]
TJ: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay,
Brandy Gillmore: so, um, so, um, gimme one second.
TJ: And I know in my logic that it’s not, that’s not accurate. I’ve like, you know, gone through that logically, of course. Mm-hmm. I’m not responsible, but yeah, I could imagine that would be stuck in me for sure.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. Okay. So, um, not only that, but. There’s a feeling of feeling almost like as also that it’s giving you a huge fear of your own mortality as well. Like could some underlying this, that, the other. Then suddenly, um, you know what if you don’t know that this, so there’s a, a, a paranoia about health issues as well. Can you see that?
TJ: Yeah, absolutely. Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Um, bingo. Gimme one second. So let’s go this direction. Gimme one second. Um, yes. Okay. Interesting. Here we go. [00:15:00] Okay. Uh, there’s a feeling of feeling like you really want to say something like, you really want to apologize or say something to her. You can see that, right?
TJ: Yeah, I think I, I, I can imagine that that would feel good, for sure. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it for a moment. Now, first and foremost, I love her. I love her self-awareness. She’s just so sweet and so beautiful, just inside and out. You could just feel that from her. And you can also hear her talking about, you know, if she had listened to her mom, then her mom, she feels like things wouldn’t have, would’ve been different, and maybe her mom wouldn’t have passed. So you can see there’s a feeling of guilt there. There’s also a feeling of really wanting to say something to her mom, to that would feel good, so to speak. And that’s the part that I want to speak to for a [00:16:00] moment, because this can be so illogical, and that is part of the energy that really needs to change, or the mindset that really needs to change.
Now I want to continue emphasizing. How counterintuitive the mind can be. And if I give you another example, all of the time I’ll see people who, let’s say they want more success in life or they want more money in life, even if they’re in a place where they feel like they’re scraping to get by, and money’s a huge stressor in their life, so they’re stressed, they’re wanting more money or more success. And simultaneously at a subconscious level, they may feel like money is bad or people will judge them if they have too much money, et cetera. And so they will struggle in their living situation where their conscious mind, it knows better, it knows that it wants more money or more success to survive, to thrive, all of those things. But those subconscious emotions have a bigger [00:17:00] impact, even when they’re illogical. And you may not want them, and you may wanna get rid of them. They can still impact you.
And so in this case, as our beautiful volunteer just said, when I asked her about wanting to speak with her mom, she said, yeah, that could feel really nice. That would feel really. So there’s a thing, but there it’s not even just about speaking with her. It’s also feeling like she messed up and she made a mistake. And I’m not saying she did, of course not at all. But that she feels that way. So there’s that craving to fix it with that guilt that’s going on in the background. And so it can impact somebody at a deeper, deeper level. Now, by the way, this happens so often where people get things linked up in the subconscious mind in a way, even with death or money or success or whatever it is. But so much so that is actually also something that I wrote about. In my book for that very reason.
And it can be specific, it can happen in in different ways. [00:18:00] But if you are somebody who has my book, you can look on page 1 93 where I talk about a woman and her fiance passed and she really wanted to be with her fiance. Now that was a much bigger, bigger, bigger, bigger feeling where she was longing to be with him. And of course she still wanted to live as well. So that’s a different situation. But my point is, is just that these subconscious feelings, these links. Can mess you up where it’s linked up to the subconscious mind and, and it’s so counterintuitive, and by the way, I’ve even seen people who wrote out their will and they felt so good about what they were going to give to their children or to others that then part of them wanted to die, to then give to their friends and family because they felt good about it, that they wanted to do that. And were excited to. That it on a subconscious level then started impacting them. Now of course, [00:19:00] they still consciously wanted to live, and so then what happens is in the subconscious mind feels excited to to die or this, that the other and the conscious mind wants to live so it can create this subconscious fear.
So food for Thought, because this was the last IQ episode just a couple days ago for this very reason is because of course it’s Black Friday and there’s a lot of sales and gifting and whatnot, and I just wanted people to be very consciously aware of what they’re gifting and what they’re linking up positive emotions too. Now, to be clear, I’m not saying don’t have a will or don’t plan or anything like that, but what I am saying is you just won’t want to link it up to a bunch of positive emotions. That’s where the problem occurs. And even with our beautiful volunteer, if she felt like she can just speak to her mom and she [00:20:00] could openly just speak to her mom, and her mom could hear her, then she wouldn’t need to quote unquote go anywhere else, if you will. So some other people might have this feeling of feeling like, gosh, I wish I could speak to my mom, and if their mom has already passed and they just speak and they feel the feeling as though she can hear. So that’s ultimately part of what I’m going to be asking TJ to do. But also part of what I would be asking you to do in your own life if you are in this position, because I can’t tell you how often I have seen people where they lose somebody that they love and then there’s part of them who wants to be with that person.
And it creates that subconscious link of wanting to. Pass on or no longer be in the physical world. And then it creates fear. So it may not even manifest. It may, it may manifest, it may not, but it may just manifest through feelings of fear because [00:21:00] the subconscious mind is then afraid of dying because part of it wants to. And, and so it can be very, very tricky. And so that of course is where we’re going, is we want everything to really make logical sense. And that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer tj. Here we go.
Okay. If I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find the feeling of punishing yourself like I should have, I should have, I should have, I should have. Um, if I ask you zero to 10, how much you can find that even though there’s a part of you that knows logically that it wasn’t your fault, if I ask you zero to 10 how much you can find that,
TJ: um. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Brandy Gillmore: By the way, the reason that I’m still going into it, so she passed how many years ago?
TJ: Uh, she passed [00:22:00] five years ago.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. And your diagnosis was a couple years ago, correct?
TJ: Was right after she passed away.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. Yeah. So there’s almost like this feeling of feeling like, um, uh, that you are bad. Like it’s a, there’s a strong punishment towards self for all of this.
TJ: Yeah, I could see that.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. And so that’s what I see your di your diagnosis connected to. And it’s also, uh, just this feeling, I didn’t listen, but it, it’s like this feeling of also, um, bingo. Like the same thing’s going to happen to you. Mm. Also like this. So it’s like the surprise diagnosis, but also like, oh my gosh. So it, it creates this, this shock feeling and just like you said, like it was a shock that she passed. But then also, like you mentioned, as you described, your, uh, diagnosis, like, uh, an unexpected shock. [00:23:00] Um, yeah, it’s, it’s the, the feeling, the energy is all, um, connected. Um, yeah. Bingo. And there’s also, okay, so here we go. So my hesitancy is this, okay. So I’m gonna ask you to take in the feeling, and take in the feeling that of course, you deserve to live, right? Yes, of course. You deserve to be able to be happy, right? Of course. Like obviously, right?
TJ: Yes, absolutely. Of course.
Brandy Gillmore: course. Right? So I’m gonna ask you to breathe like obviously, of course. And. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So obviously you deserve to be happy to live fully, to be able to be happy and good and live fully. And this was obviously not your fault, correct?
TJ: Abs? Yes, absolutely.
Brandy Gillmore: Great. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice your level of pain, zero to 10. What’s your level of pain?
TJ: Mm, I can still feel it. Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Zero to 10. What’s your level?
TJ: I would say about the same.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. Um, about zero to 10
TJ: [00:24:00] mm. Seven, eight.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, um, bingo. And if I ask you bingo. So you would say it’s, uh, your pain right now is about a what level?
TJ: About seven or eight.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. So notice it actually went up from where we started.
TJ: Yeah. Maybe to go up. Yes. I forgot what I said at the beginning, but yeah, maybe. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Where it was in the beginning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s, that’s what I, that’s where I was going. Wait a second. It feels, yeah, yeah. Uhhuh. So, uh, so I would say in the beginning it was about a level four.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Uh, 4, 4, 5, right in there. Uh, but yes, uh, now it’s, yeah, it, it’s up more. Uh, gimme one second.
All right. So let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. Now, notice for a moment that the pain is actually gone up. It went from about a four to about a seven, eight. So it is almost double, which of course is [00:25:00] not the direction we want it to go. But notice the energy around the story. So the good thing is from this is you can see the mind-body connection. Now, of course, the great thing is about this is she does get this all the way down. So we keep working and there’s other pieces as well. But what I do. Appreciate about this, is that you can see the mind body connection so you can see. It’s directly linked, and that’s really helpful. So she knows this is the connection.
Now, of course there are other pieces to the mix, but as all these emotions are coming up regarding this, we can see the impact. And by the way, part of what you’ll notice comes up is there’s also this feeling of fear of her own mortality. And so there’s that uncertainty feeling. Now I’m not saying it’s in the same way that her mother passed, but that urgency feeling that there was that sudden feeling that her mother passed suddenly. And then also the feeling of being [00:26:00] diagnosed with a shocking, unexpected diagnosis. And then also the feeling of having this uncertainty of her own health of is it gone? Is it not type of feeling? So there’s that uncertainty feeling that’s also very triggering in the moment. So there are multiple pieces connected to this. Those, of course, are key for making this change, but there are some other pieces as well. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer tj. Here we go.
Bingo. There’s, there’s this feeling of guilt and there’s like this feeling of tears and crying and and whatnot. And gimme one second. If I ask you why everybody thought your mom was delusional, why would you say that is?
TJ: Um, she actually kind of like lived the, [00:27:00] the, the last like 10, kind of 20 years of her life. Very reclusive, like, took the doorbell off ’cause she didn’t want people to be able to, to ring her doorbell, like, wouldn’t answer when people knocked. Um, I, I didn’t see her a lot because it was so hard to get in touch with her. She didn’t have a telephone. Um. She didn’t work. She spent a lot of time in bed. She was, she, she had been diagnosed with clinical depression. Um, and so she was, she was really just kind of getting by in life. I feel like it was like not her fullest best living. Um, she was a lot more alive and lively when she was younger and it, it could have been some dementia. She was never diagnosed. It was just very, um, she had her way of doing things and it was very much on her own, very reclusive. Separate from like, she didn’t live with anybody else. Um, had separated from my father [00:28:00] many, many years ago. Um, the only person that saw her a lot was my brother. And, um, he has. His own diag. Like they, he has his own diagnosis, which makes me kind of put them in a category of, he’s got some things like he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and she is man, she is like manic or, uh, clinically depressed. So I kind of think of that. She was in that direction. Okay. And so when she expressed things, it was hard to tell, um, if there was like a paranoia kind of added to it, but yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And what would you say that she, um, died from when you said her original, that diagnosis may have, that issue may have led to her death or contributed? Well,
TJ: well, her, her, um, she had asked us to put a lock on her door because she was convinced that the neighbors from downstairs were sneaking into her house and stealing things from her. And, um, we thought it was crazy, but they were, we found out that they were, [00:29:00] um, and we didn’t find out until after she passed away. We actually, like, we were like detectives and we, and we put out flower on the, on the stairs, um, after she passed away. ’cause we knew that they knew she wasn’t there anymore. So if they were gonna steal something that, and they did, they stole a whole bunch of things after she passed away. And, uh, so. All of the, what we thought were delusional. I’m not, I’m, I’m saying we, I’m talking about me and my husband because she told us both about this. And we actually had a doorknob in the back of our car forever, um, with a lock on it so that it would be more secure and it, it, we just were never able to get in touch with her. And then, and then she passed away, um, before we were able to do it. And, and so there’s a lot of, it, it, it, there’s a possibility that these people were coming into her apartment when she was there and she died of a heart attack. So, and she hadn’t had any heart problems and we don’t have a lot of heart stuff in our family, [00:30:00] although her mother did have something, but, um, she was otherwise pretty healthy. So it just feels like there’s a possibility that she had like a kind of a jump scare. From some, from somebody actually like coming into her apartment. It’s so, it’s so awful. It’s like the whole thing just feel, makes me feel icky.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The whole thing does not make you feel icky anymore because you are releasing it and letting it go, right? Yeah.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So the whole thing does not make you feel icky anymore because you’re resolving it. Correct. Okay. I am resolving it. Yes. So, so, so that’s the thing. So notice what you said, the whole thing makes you feel icky, right?
TJ: Yeah. It’s, yeah. It’s really hard for not to.
Brandy Gillmore: Yep. Well, I get that it’s hard for you for, and of course it’s, it’s very needed, right?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, um, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe.
All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just [00:31:00] for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her awareness. I love her self honesty. Just really, really beautiful. Now, of course, notice for a moment she’s feeling at fault for something that she doesn’t even know is true, but she’s definitely feeling that if she would’ve just done things differently than the entire outcome would’ve been different, et cetera. So there’s a lot of speculative self blame going on, and the truth of it is, is that number one, she doesn’t even know that it’s true. And there’s more to unpack from here, but there’s a few things to note is just that first and foremost on the MINDBODY connection, you can see her where she says, oh, even as I talk about it, it makes me feel icky. So I love the awareness that she can see the MINDBODY connection, which is, which is I appreciate that. Obviously not in a perfect way where it’s making her feel icky, but I appreciate that she can see [00:32:00] it.
Now, another thing is this is notice as she was talking about her mother, she was talking about, you know, that maybe what happened is that she was scared because these people were coming into her house and then that her heart stopped. So in other words, that she died from heart failure because of being scared. Now, I’m not necessarily agreeing that that’s what happened at all. I’m not saying that by any means because again, remember, this is speculative of what she’s saying. But what I do appreciate here is again, the awareness of the mind body connection. You know, so often people think, well, how much can our thoughts and emotions and mindset really affect our physical body? And the truth of it is, is to the point of death. And by the way, I remember when I was researching my own healing back in, you know, the early two thousands, and I thought that scared to death, like that phrase, that somebody could be scared to death. I thought it was just a [00:33:00] figure of speech. I didn’t realize that a person could actually be so scared that they’re, they’re scared to death, that their heart actually stops. And so again, we can witness and observe the mind-body connection and just how profound and impactful it can be.
Now, building on that, I also want to bring in the awareness that as she’s talking to about her mom, she’s saying that, you know, she spent a lot of time by herself and she was in beds and she would, you know, in bed and clinically depressed and, and she didn’t even want any visitors and all of these things. And the other information that I want to bring forth is that it’s also well known in medical research that loneliness can also dramatically increase a person’s chance of dying from a heart attack. And so just introducing that. Evidence as well. Because as she’s saying here that her mother died of a heart attack, she’s saying, well, [00:34:00] we didn’t have any heart disease in our family, et cetera. But there was also notice a lot of loneliness. And that is a huge factor when a person is that lonely in that isolated. And so what we can see here is that she’s blaming herself. And the truth of it is, is that she doesn’t know really what caused it. And yet she’s feeling all of this guilt and this self punishment when the truth of it is she doesn’t actually know what caused the heart attack. And yet she’s spending her life many, many years feeling bad, feeling guilty, feeling icky, you know, beating herself up about it. And of course there’s other pieces as well, and we’re gonna continue to dive in, but just food for thought, if you’ve been beating yourself up for something, even if it was true. And in a case, this case, I don’t see it as being true, but either way. Even if it was true, she’d still wanna let it go. You know, everybody makes mistakes and, and also everybody’s manifesting and really [00:35:00] creating their own life. And so ultimately she can’t create her mother’s life for her either. And of course, there’s other pieces as well. And so what, that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer tj, here we go.
Okay. Notice that your mom had suffered paranoia for a long period of time, right?
TJ: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: So this is the hard part, is this. Let’s put it in this way. Okay. So let’s say, okay, so let’s say. For example, there’s somebody who has a pattern of attraction that where they continue to attract maybe even like the wrong guy or, you know, the example that you hear me use all the time that unfortunately a woman may have an abusive father who leaves him and finds the abusive boyfriend, boss, spouse, et [00:36:00] cetera, et cetera. That pattern continues, right?
TJ: Yes. Yes.
Brandy Gillmore: Now, let’s say there’s a lineup of a hundred men. 99 of them are wonderful and one is not, and she has not resolved this pattern. Which one does she pick?
TJ: Yeah, of course. The, the wrong one. The
Brandy Gillmore: wrong one. Now what if you tell her not to though?
TJ: Yeah. It doesn’t make a difference.
Brandy Gillmore: Likely she still does, right? Yeah. Somehow ends up, my point is, is that your mom had this pattern for a long period of time.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Of. People feeling like she was crazy, but also being in that way, being great. Like it was, it was all of the above, right? So she, that, that was the pattern, unfortunately, of her life. And as much as you want to go in and fix people and get them out of their patterns and get them away, and then all of these things like you, no matter what you would’ve [00:37:00] done, it was her pattern that she’d had for a long period of time anyway. And so everything manifested and unfolded in exactly the way that it was. So as much as you feel like, well, if I just would’ve done this and I just would’ve done that, then likely then they would’ve come through the window. Yeah. Then they would’ve like it wouldn’t have. And, and it’s, so, it’s not about. Obviously it’s not about blaming her, it’s just also not about blaming you in that everything unfolded the way it did. Does that make sense?
TJ: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. So
Brandy Gillmore: even with my own injury, I mean, I had accidents and whatnot. If somebody said, oh, well if I just would’ve done this and this and this different, then Brandy wouldn’t have got injured and yada. And it, it would’ve happened some other way and some o because it was the unfoldment that was going to take place in one way or another. Does that make sense?
TJ: Yeah, yeah. Okay. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think I felt that energy of, [00:38:00] um, feeling responsible for her for a long time. ’cause I had thought about it before that I got her a book on how to not be depressed when I was like 14, 13, 14 years old. Like, I went to the store and bought her a book, like mm-hmm. So, um,
Brandy Gillmore: yeah, you know how. You know how in relationships, like we’ve never heard of people trying to change another person. Right?
TJ: Never, never, never. I mean, it always, it always works when you do it too, right? Oh,
Brandy Gillmore: yes. Even if the person doesn’t want to change, if you Yes.
TJ: If you want the change, yeah. They’re gonna, it’s gonna work. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I know, I know that rule for sure. Yep.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Now, of course, you hear that all the time. We want to change somebody. Like if there’s somebody, it’s like you want to change them, but you can’t, you can’t change somebody who doesn’t wanna change, right. That is, it’s [00:39:00] impossible, right? Yeah.
TJ: Yeah. Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: So notice for a moment, how did that book work out for you?
TJ: Not, not so well. Okay. I mean, she didn’t, she didn’t, wasn’t angry with me, but it just, it didn’t change her situation.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh. So you couldn’t change her and it’s all your fault, okay.
TJ: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Man, you’re pretty messed up.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: I can’t believe it didn’t even work. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Yeah. I pretty much think you should spend the rest of your life feeling bad and beating yourself up because you’ve been doing that since age 13 and even before that. So, uh, yeah, you should absolutely feel responsible even now that she’s gone. I mean, you should just probably continue this for another lifetime or two.
TJ: Yeah, it’s super helpful,
Brandy Gillmore: super helpful, really healthy. Yeah, it’s awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So you felt bad for about her even when she was alive, and now even that she’s not now you still feel bad, but [00:40:00] just in a whole different way. This is awesome. Yeah.
TJ: It’s
Brandy Gillmore: definitely not a pattern.
TJ: Yeah. Well, and I think that’s, I think her not being here makes it feel so much more finite. Like, I can’t. There’s nothing there. There was always this feeling that, you know, maybe I will go and visit her and have a, a lovely conversation with her and maybe she’ll come out of her funk. Maybe something, there’ll be some turnaround. Maybe she’ll have a connection with her grandchildren, which she’d never had. But, um, that, that can’t happen anymore.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Bingo. Okay. So now if, if I look into your, if I check into your energy, there’s a feeling of feeling like responsible for her since age nine. Are you familiar with that?
TJ: Yeah. When you said nine, I was thinking eight. Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: So, sounds right. We’re in the ballpark. Okay. Yeah. So, uh, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And the bottom [00:41:00] line is that you couldn’t save her from herself, from her own patterns, but nobody can save somebody else for their patterns. And that was her thing, right?
TJ: Yeah, absolutely.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So instead of feeling criticism towards self, or guilty or bad towards self, just having so much compassion for her patterns, you know what I mean? Like in other words, you can look at people who have patterns and in, and instead of, you know, obviously judging them or feeling bad or feeling like they’re your responsibility, just compassion and saying, gosh, I wouldn’t want to have those patterns. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So just absolute compassion and just taking in that feeling, gosh, I really wouldn’t want to have those patterns. And of course you can’t save her from her own patterns.
TJ: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: You can’t save her from her own patterns. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, [00:42:00] and I’m gonna ask you to notice the feeling of pain, zero to 10. What’s your level?
TJ: I’d say it’s gone down a little bit now, like a six.
Brandy Gillmore: Mm-hmm. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And so if I ask you zero to 10 how much you need to punish yourself, what’s your level? Zero to 10?
TJ: How much I need to punish myself. Mm-hmm. Well, it should be a zero. A zero.
Brandy Gillmore: Yep. Correct. Correct. So, I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And so if I ask you, are you, are you free to be happy and laugh and joyous and playful and allow yourself to be free and feel that without guilt, without feeling bad? Um, can you do that?
TJ: Yeah, for sure. Are you sure? Yeah. In my logical mind, I’m sure. Right. Great. So
Brandy Gillmore: I’m gonna ask you to breathe, uh, your level of pain, zero to 10
TJ: mm. A little less. A little less now? [00:43:00] Mm-hmm. Yeah. More like a two or three.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. And so if I ask you to notice what it looks like moving forward to have compassion for your mom
TJ: mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: To come to complete peace with the fact that you couldn’t change her.
TJ: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: And to have absolute compassion for her patterns. And nobody can change. Somebody who doesn’t want to change. And even if you tried the, this, the, that, all of the things, it wasn’t, um, it is kind of like this, honestly. Do you feel like if they wanted to really get into her house, do you feel like the doorknob would’ve been enough?
TJ: I sort of do. So I have to with them. And they
Brandy Gillmore: would’ve just used a window.
TJ: I don’t, no, I don’t think they were [00:44:00] that. Serious about it. I think it was just like, it was easy for them, so they did it. Okay. That’s, that’s kind of where my brain is, but
Brandy Gillmore: okay. Now I have a question.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Who removed the doorknob?
TJ: Who they didn’t remove the doorknob. They just were able to like, rig the door, like sort of, um, jiggle the door enough that the, the handle didn’t, um, like they were able to like, get through the lock basically.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So bingo. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and have you ever jiggled a, a, an a, a lock at somebody else’s house before that you didn’t belong in?
TJ: No. No, not unless they wanted me to feed their dog or something.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Yeah. Like, I’m gonna tell you, never in my life have I ever gone to a house of somebody else’s and gone into it without permission. Yeah,
TJ: yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Right. [00:45:00]
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So I, I feel like, yeah, so, so I feel like, um, locks, keep honest people out, you know what I mean?
Yeah,
TJ: for sure. For sure. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Uh, doorknobs do, so I’m gonna ask you please. Yeah. So I feel like if they were gonna wiggle a, a doorknob, they might as well wiggle a window, you know, et cetera.
TJ: Yeah, yeah. True. So either way,
Brandy Gillmore: my point is, is that notice that you feel like it would’ve been enough, and when it really comes down to it, I feel like she had a pattern and it was gonna show up in one way or another, or another. And the safest, safest, safest thing that we can all do for ourselves is ultimately change our patterns and our actions, but patterns as well. Both, both go hand in hand, right?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to brief. Okay. And I want you to notice your level [00:46:00] of pain. What’s your level?
TJ: Oh, it’s getting better. Two.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, uh, bingo. And so gimme one second.
TJ: I will say too, that like, I kind of feel when I’m, when I think about it, and it maybe this is more logic than feeling, is that the diligence of making sure that everybody’s okay is a bit selfish because I do kind of feel like my brain has to be going all the time to make sure that I’ve thought of everything. Because if somebody can break into your house and steal your things and give you a heart attack, or even before that, like throughout, ’cause my family has a lot of mental, um, difficulties. I was always kind of like on call, like not, you know, on my toes, like always prepared for whatever craziness was gonna be handed to me. So when the craziness did come. In the, in the form of somebody else breaking into her house. [00:47:00] It, it feels very real to me. Like that’s, it’s like expounded. But it also was real before that because even within my family, I was always very careful to like do the right thing and say the right thing so that I didn’t get in trouble or I wasn’t getting yelled at or, you know, that there was a lot of walking on eggshells, basically.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. But, but remember ultimately what you’re saying to me is this, is that you have patterns too. And they have patterns and so my point is from this is kind of like, um, a right hand and a left hand go together, right? Yeah. Not because they’re exactly the same, but because they’re exactly opposite.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I. Your feet go together because, not because they’re exactly the same, but because they’re exactly opposite of each other. Yeah. So what I [00:48:00] would say is resolving your patterns right now is the answer.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Right. Yeah, for sure. And so your pattern of that responsibility of always feeling responsible for your mother and on eggshells, and also notice the feeling of needing to always be on alert, right? Yeah. That is like if I ask you how long you have felt like you needed to be, uh, hyper vig, like on alert, what would you say?
TJ: Like since 10 or 11.
Brandy Gillmore: Yes. So that is your pattern. So then when she died, and then it felt like a shock, but then also your health issue, like, and your diagnosis felt like a shock. Yeah. And so that, that is your pattern, is that uncertainty of the shock feeling, and that is the pattern that you are gonna need to address. Does that make sense?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Um, great. So notice when I mentioned her, I said that there’s also this feeling about your own mortality. Like [00:49:00] suddenly you could then have some type of health issue and then like this uncertainty type of feeling. Does that make sense?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. Now, uh, gimme one second. But ultimately part of where, where, um, there’s like this, it is very sweet and there’s like this feeling of wanting to apologize to her. Like just to say something to her. And I think, so it’s almost like making, you want to feel like you need to talk to her to connect with her, to, uh, die, to connect with her, if that makes sense.
TJ: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Can you see
Brandy Gillmore: that?
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So that part right there is the part that you’re, it’s al like if, uh, like, let me give you an example to kind of see this on the outside. If I told you I’m working with somebody who wants to be able to [00:50:00] die, to be able to, or go to where their mom is, which is passed away, to then be able to just say something, it creates the subconscious feeling of needing to die to be able to make things quote unquote right. Does that make sense?
TJ: Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. That’s deep. But yeah, I get that. Sure.
Brandy Gillmore: Yes. So what I’d want you to do. That’s part of the reason I’ve been fumbling around is because of that. Let’s not do that. Yeah, let’s not do that. Let’s good plan. Can we plan? Can we plan not to do that? I don’t like that. You like the way you think so, so ultimately, if you could even just feel the feeling of having compassion and have a conversation with your mom and trust that she’s heard you trust that she can hear you and you don’t need to go be where she is to be able to communicate to her that trust that she can a hundred percent hear you
TJ: right. Okay. Yeah, sure.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe and I’m gonna ask you [00:51:00] to take in that feeling that you trust that she can hear you and she gets it.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: She gets it. Like she didn’t get it before when she was in the human body and in her pattern.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: But that she gets it right? Yeah. Okay.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So if she gets it a hundred percent, she gets it. She understands. She’s good. You are good. Bingo. Mm-hmm. And I want you to notice your level of pain. Zero to 10.
TJ: Hmm. Bingo. Yes. One or two.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Great. So, um, bingo. That’s what I have is about a 1.6. Gimme one second. And I want you to notice the way that you’re looking at things where you said, when I said this is her pattern and you couldn’t have changed it, and about the doorknob and all of that, the lock, and you said you really do feel like it would’ve made a difference. Yeah. Now notice also how you have said that the heart [00:52:00] attack had to be because of an intruder, and that must be why, right?
TJ: Well, I don’t know that for sure. It’s just I know
Brandy Gillmore: you don’t know that for sure. Yeah. And that’s my point.
TJ: Yeah. Yeah. You
Brandy Gillmore: literally constructed all of these things.
TJ: Yeah. I
Brandy Gillmore: have a question for you.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Did you know that loneliness can increase the chance of stroke, heart attack, type two diabetes, et cetera?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Brandy Gillmore: So are you sure that it was an intruder?
TJ: No.
Brandy Gillmore: You’re not?
TJ: No.
Brandy Gillmore: Look at how you’ve constructed this whole story on how was your fault.
TJ: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: You don’t know.
TJ: Mm-hmm. Very true.
Brandy Gillmore: So how on earth did you put that together?
TJ: And are you sure you’re
Brandy Gillmore: right?
TJ: No, I’m not sure that I’m right.
Brandy Gillmore: So out out of curiosity now, she wasn’t lonely at all, right?
TJ: No. She’s very lonely, I’m sure.
Brandy Gillmore: Oh, [00:53:00] so out of curiosity, are you really actually sure that it had anything to do with an intruder at all?
TJ: No, not at all. I’m not sure.
Brandy Gillmore: No. By the way, I have a question. If things were missing. Bingo. Mm-hmm. Gimme one second. Are you a hundred percent sure that they did it while she was alive?
TJ: Yeah, that I am a hundred percent sure of.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So, and how do you know?
TJ: Um, because, uh, they, the things were actually Yeah, the things were actually missing. Yeah. Okay. And, and they, they had access to her bank account. They took her bank, her her bank card and
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. Used
TJ: it and there was evidence of that, so.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So, um, bingo. So it had, it [00:54:00] had been going on for a long time then, correct?
TJ: It had been going on for a long time. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So why would it suddenly give her a heart attack then if she knew it was going on for a long time?
TJ: Um, well, my theory is that she’s hard of hearing. So most of the time she didn’t see these people. She just, she just knew when things went missing.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And
TJ: they would wait till she was watching TV really loud because she couldn’t hear. So they knew that she was in a bedroom watching tv. And in this case, so I’m gonna ask you to
Brandy Gillmore: breathe.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: And I’m going to interrupt your theory for a moment.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Because the truth is you don’t know.
TJ: The truth is, I don’t know.
Brandy Gillmore: The truth is you don’t know.
TJ: Yeah. Absolutely. The truth. The truth is you don’t know. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So you have constructed this entire story and you’re making yourself feel bad.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: And the truth is you don’t know.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Now, I have a question for you. How was her quality of life?
TJ: Uh, [00:55:00] I mean, she, she created a, a life that I, I don’t think was fantastic, but, okay.
Brandy Gillmore: So, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe. What did you just say in the very beginning? You said what?
TJ: Um, she created a life. Wait,
Brandy Gillmore: wait, stop there. She, she what?
TJ: Mm-hmm. She created a life.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Stop there.
TJ: Yeah. She created
Brandy Gillmore: her life.
TJ: She created her life. Yeah. She
Brandy Gillmore: created her life.
TJ: Mm-hmm. And
Brandy Gillmore: yes. As much as you wanted to fix everything. Okay. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe, and if I ask you how much you have felt like everything is your responsibility in life.
TJ: Oh, lots.
Brandy Gillmore: Uhhuh. So I have a
TJ: question. I know it’s not logic, but you asked me how I feel, so Uhhuh?
Brandy Gillmore: Yep. Yep. So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. Okay. I want you to notice your level of pain. What’s your level of pain? Oh, it’s getting better. [00:56:00] Maybe like a one. Okay, so, so this is the thing, right? Is um. Right now I am convincing you that it’s not your fault and I’m helping you to feel that way.
TJ: Mm-hmm. Now,
Brandy Gillmore: do I expect that this is going to stick? Probably not, because notice we’re playing a bit of a tug of war. Like you’re like, but it was, and I’m like, it wasn’t. And you’re like, but of course. And I’m like, it wasn’t right. And so, and kindly Of course. So my point is, is if I wasn’t like, so, so we’re getting it down, which is great, and that you can see the connection and that’s great. Now you can also see that you’re surprise diagnosis, so to speak, was right after her passing, correct?
TJ: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So you can see the connection. So what is my point? My point is that your pain is down. So the good thing is, is you can see the [00:57:00] mind body connection and you can see the link to it. Yeah. Um, the. However, if you ask me do I expect this to stay, the answer is not yet. Yeah. The the thing of it is, is I, is that I would want you to really digest this information and also go deeper because there is a pattern of feeling responsible for everything. There is also a pattern of feeling like you need to stay on high alert for something to happen. Yeah. And um.
All right, so let’s go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, again, I just love her. I love her self-awareness. I love her sense of humor, just so great. And I also just love her heart and how much she cares. But you can also see that her level of self blame and self [00:58:00] responsibility for other people and what she felt like she should’ve, could’ve, would’ve do like all of those things that she needed to do. And that the reality of it is, is that as much as we all may want to fix somebody else or change somebody else, we can’t. And that’s the reality. We can’t save people from themselves, so to speak. And so if you have ever felt that way where you have been beating yourself up or feeling bad or feeling guilty because you didn’t fix or save somebody, you’ll want to make sure to really change that.
Because the truth of it is you can’t make somebody change who doesn’t wanna change, but you also can’t get somebody out of their patterns who’s really, really stuck in their patterns. And so going back to the example that I used previously that, you know, unfortunately there’s the woman who’s always attracting the, the problematic man over and over and over again in [00:59:00] different ways. And you try to give her the best advice to pick somebody else, what does she typically do still ends up picking the wrong guy. And my point is, people have their patterns. Have their patterns. Have their patterns, and so. Making sure that if this is you and your situation in any way that you’re not beating yourself up. I have literally seen people who, you know, maybe they have, uh, somebody who’s addicted to alcohol or health issues, whatever it is, all of the time I see people who are beating themselves up for things and it doesn’t make logical sense, and I get it, but. It’s crucial. It is extremely important to really, really change that because the only life that we can really ever have absolute influence over is of course our own.
And by the way, even in my own situation, you know, you see me working with people, this is part of the reason you’ll hear me, when people are stuck, that I push them [01:00:00] because I want them to see the difference, to see the change. Now, of course, I can’t control them. I can’t make people change. I can help people see what to change. I can’t make them change. And so even in this example, what’s really great is she can see that her pain went up as we’re talking about this topic, and it’s going down as we’re talking about it. But am I pushing her? I am. I’m, I’m pushing against what she’s saying. So she’s coming up with all of the reasons that it is her fault and her theory and all of these things, and I’m pushing back the opposite way, saying, well, wait a second here. So I’m pushing, okay. Now the truth of it is, is that of course I can’t make somebody change. So I can tell you there’s a lot of people that I’ve worked with who have done amazing. They see the pattern, they wake up, they change it. There are also other people that I’ve wanted them to change and I can’t make them change. And they didn’t heal themselves because they haven’t changed. You know, they can [01:01:00] see the pattern. But maybe they don’t want to change. I can’t make somebody want to change. So my point is that none of us can make somebody change or do something we don’t want them to do. And it is just impossible. I mean, in your own life, nobody could make you change, make you feel different, make you do something that you don’t want to do. You have to decide. And so even in this situation, keeping in mind that, you know, with her mother having a long pattern of paranoia and all of these different things and a pattern of always feeling, you know, cheated or, or you know, taken from, or what I mean, there was this whole pattern. And it’s unfortunate and we can all have compassion and absolute compassion for the situation, but at the same time, no matter what the situation is, that somebody’s in, ultimately they’re also the one that’s responsible for it. And so, not feeling guilty, not feeling bad, and not. [01:02:00] Blaming yourself, or in this case tj, not blaming herself for the situation, but instead really being willing to let it go and to change. And so that’s where we’re going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer tj, here we go.
Like, even if I asked you over the past week how much you feel like you’ve been on high alert, what would you say?
TJ: Um, not, not nearly as much as I used to be. I’m, I’m, I
Brandy Gillmore: agree. I would say about a level five.
TJ: Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Uh, how many children do you have?
TJ: Two.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. And, uh, can you gimme their initials please?
TJ: A and e.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. Say E again.
TJ: E
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. And if I ask you, can you find the high alerts [01:03:00] towards E?
TJ: Yes.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. So the thing of it is, is this pattern is it’s, it’s still your pattern that you’re going to want to take care of. Does that make sense?
TJ: Absolutely. Yeah, totally. The
Brandy Gillmore: other thing is, is that what’s really important is also, uh, I would want you to digest the feeling that your mom can hear you and you don’t need to go off to go be with her, to be able to communicate with her.
TJ: Yeah. Uh,
Brandy Gillmore: there’s a very, there’s a very sweet part of you that it’s like you want to apologize and to explain and to be like, but, but can you see that part?
TJ: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. You,
Brandy Gillmore: you, you need to just, so I want you to know that she knows and knows that she gets it and, and that mm-hmm. Um, and I’d also want you to really genuinely be able to feel like [01:04:00] even if you tried to change, et cetera, that was her feeling, that was her, uh, that that was her pattern. And, and Yes. Could that, could that maybe have created a temporary solution? It could have, but I have a question.
TJ: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: How long was your mom had mental health issues even before that started? Correct.
TJ: Oh yeah. For many years. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Yeah. So even before she lived in that location, she had it, right?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So the thing of it is, is if it didn’t, so just like where I said your pattern of being on high alert and then you can also see with e your child, you can see the high alert there, right?
TJ: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: So in other words, even if you did fix the doorknob, et cetera, it would’ve shown up still in a different way or a different way, or a different way for her, because that’s how patterns work. Does that make sense?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: So, um, [01:05:00] so there’s that, and then also, um, the feeling of feeling free to live and be happy. So it’s kind of like, imagine if something bad happens. For somebody. Mm-hmm. So some, somebody, something bad and they feel like I can’t be happy, so, so and so passed away. So I can’t be happy, I can’t, I need to stay in mourning. I can’t do for myself or be for myself, or I feel guilty for being, feeling free and feeling happy and feeling alive. And all of these things like that feeling is still weighing on you. Mm-hmm.
TJ: Uh,
Brandy Gillmore: can you see that?
TJ: Uh, I can feel it. I don’t, I don’t like see it as much in my logical self, but I can feel that for sure.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Uh, gimme one second. Let me put it in another way. Uh, if I were to put it in another way, so notice how much you feel like this was your fault and you should have done the doorknob. Can you see that? Yeah.
TJ: Yeah. Yes.
Brandy Gillmore: So imagine if I felt that same way where I feel like, oh my gosh, I should have done the [01:06:00] doorknob. And then I feel like, well, I didn’t, okay, I’m gonna go celebrate my life now. Can you see how I would at a deeper level that could feel not good? Does that make sense? Like I shouldn’t be allowed to just go celebrate and enjoy and be, and be merry and all of these things. Does that make sense?
TJ: Well, you should be,
Brandy Gillmore: bingo. Should be, you should be. Not only, not only that, but her mental health issues started long before she was in that location. So it, yeah, it’s not you As much as we want to change others, the pattern just shows up in different ways. And so I get it. And it’s also your pattern as well, so your pat, so in other words, her pattern and your pattern of always feeling responsible and like you can’t do enough to help and feeling guilty for not being like the book that didn’t work and, and, and all of that. And, and not having the kids in her life and the guilt, blah, blah, blah, [01:07:00] blah, blah. And all of those like that has been your pattern for your life. Does that make sense?
TJ: Yeah. Yeah. Bing.
Brandy Gillmore: If I say it another way, this is another way to look at it like this. If she hadn’t been in a crazy place with no phone and know this and know that, right? Mm-hmm. And she had just said to you, Hey, this and this is happening, would you have taken her more seriously about the doorknob? If all of the other things like the getting, not having a phone and the door ring, doorbell and all of the things. Mm-hmm.
TJ: If I ask
Brandy Gillmore: you if all of that other, those other things hadn’t existed, would you have taken her more seriously with the door?
TJ: I would think that I probably would’ve. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. And um, like if I ask you, so [01:08:00] your brother’s also been diagnosed with schizophrenic, you said, right?
TJ: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. And if I ask you sometimes, do you have to filter what he has said or not said and whatnot?
TJ: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. So could you also have understanding for yourself instead of so much blame and guilt
TJ: mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: Like, that doesn’t even make any sense. Why are you so mean to yourself?
TJ: Yeah. I think there’s a feeling that I have to keep it together for everybody else that can’t.
Brandy Gillmore: Okay. But keeping it together is one thing, keeping it lifted, keeping happy. Fantastic. Keep it happy.
TJ: Okay.
Brandy Gillmore: Be happy, be lifted. Be be the role model. Absolutely. Be that.
TJ: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Gillmore: But it’s like if somebody, uh, yeah, if, if you, if you’ve built up a feeling where somebody, um, you don’t know what there’s, if what they’re saying is, is accurate [01:09:00] or not, and they don’t have that as established. Trust, if you will, then it’s really hard to then decipher what is real and what’s not. Does that make sense?
TJ: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yes. Great.
Brandy Gillmore: So I’m gonna ask you to breathe. So on that note, if I ask you how much you really need to blame yourself, what would you say?
TJ: Not at all.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. So, um, so I’m gonna ask you to breathe bingo and notice your level of pain, zero to 10 level.
TJ: Mm. There’s a bit of discomfort, but not much like one.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Okay. So, um, great. And, uh, and this is what I would say is first and foremost, fantastic job with your energy. Um, yeah. And I would also say that there’s going to be a, a deeper level of work to really do and get this in, um, because there are multiple pieces for this. Yeah, yeah. Um, and also get
TJ: it, get it in, and get it out.
Brandy Gillmore: Yes, absolutely. [01:10:00] Absolutely. But this is what I love. I love your awareness, um, and bingo. And ultimately I’d love to see you really start even moving forward and notice what it feels like to be able to connect with people and be you and be wonderful. And also not feel responsible for changing everybody because you can’t change people who don’t wanna change, right? Yeah.
TJ: Yeah.
Brandy Gillmore: Bingo. Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful, uh, fantastic job with your energy. I love that you, again, I love that you can see the MINDBODY connection. I love that you could not only see the pain go down, but I love that you could also see it go up just because now you know, and you can see it’s not just, oh, let’s relax, or this, that the, like, you can see the specific link. So I love that awareness and it will take genuine follow through. To really get this in. Does that make sense? Beautiful.
TJ: Yeah, absolutely, [01:11:00]
Brandy Gillmore: tj, totally.
TJ: It is.
Brandy Gillmore: It has been so lovely connecting with you. I love your heart. I love your self-awareness and, uh, and you’re just, you’re beautiful.
TJ: Thank you. Oh my gosh, it was so wonderful to talk to you. I, I still can’t believe I’m talking to you. It’s great. Thank you for all your help. I really appreciate it.
Brandy Gillmore: You are so, so welcome. Beautiful. You’re so welcome.
TJ: Have a wonderful, wonderful day.
Brandy Gillmore: Thank you. You too.
All right, so let’s go ahead and bring everything together. And first and foremost, I just love her. I just absolutely love her. I love her self-awareness, just brilliant and beautiful. I also love that she is aware that, you know, that part of her consciously knows. That she shouldn’t be blaming herself, so to speak. Like there’s a part of her who knows that who gets that and yet has been experiencing all of these emotions of feeling guilt, of feeling bad, of feeling like [01:12:00] the reason that it’s all her fault. And so I love that awareness. And I also love the awareness that we can see that emotions can impact you even if they don’t make logical sense. And by the way, that was the very thing that I had during my own injury is I had subconscious emotions like for example, survivor’s guilt, when there was another part of my logical mind that knew that. It didn’t make any sense. Like, why would I feel guilty for surviving? And yet those emotions were there. That’s part of the reason, by the way, that MINDBODY healing can feel so tricky. And in fact, I referenced my book earlier and something that you’ll notice that I wrote in my book, if you have it, I wrote in there specifically that one of my aha moments was that I stopped overlooking illogical emotions. Like, in other words, I was so logical with everything, [01:13:00] so extremely logical that I thought to myself with emotions that didn’t make logical sense. I thought, well, that’s ridiculous. It doesn’t make logical sense, so I can ignore it. But I had an aha moment when I realized, wait a second. Even if an emotion doesn’t make logical sense, if it’s still there, it can still impact you. And that was a pivotal moment. There were just so many pivotal aha moments during my injury that really woke me up that said, oh, I need to work with my mind in a different way. And so that was one of them.
Now something else that is so logical and yet can impact people as this is it. So often when somebody doesn’t feel good, they feel sick or they feel injured or whatnot. How often does somebody just crave love or nurture or whatnot when they’re not feeling good? You know, if you [01:14:00] stop and think about it for a moment, it’s common. And that can get linked up in the subconscious mind that illness equates to. Love and connection, and even if somebody doesn’t want that connection to be there, it can still impact you. And so when you really start to think about emotions for a moment, it’s so important to go beyond logic or instead better said, it’s so important to have a different type of logic. That is the key, the different type of logic of understanding that yes, emotions can affect you even if you quote unquote know better. Or even if they don’t make logical sense, they can still impact you. And we can see that very thing. From today’s episode where there’s a part of her who knows, and yet you can see her pain went down when she made that change. And so even if you think about it for a moment, when we were looking at the emotions that are really illogical, the feeling of feeling like [01:15:00] if she wants to connect and speak with her mom and say something to her mom to try to a apologize or make things right, or whatnot, then there’s a part of her, if she feels like her mom has passed, her mom is, you know, no longer in the physical world, that she needs to go and speak to her, which doesn’t make logical sense, but there’s that yearning, that feeling there. Just like if, if her mom is in Europe. She feels like she needs to go make amends with her mother. There’s gonna be a feeling that she needs to be drawn to go to Europe because there’s that feeling there to go make amends and do and be. And so there can be that draw of a feeling so it doesn’t make logical sense. And yet that’s the way that the mind can work, is it can pull you in the direction that you feel a connection to.
So for example, let’s say that everything that you ever wanted was in the closet that was next to you in your house. And so you feel this draw because [01:16:00] everything that you’re wanting or there’s love there or there’s safety there, or your mom is there, which would be weird. Don’t put your mom in your closet, but you get my point is my point is that if there’s a feeling that something is there, where there’s a feeling that you’d be a good person or there’s a feeling that safety is there or there’s something that you need, there can be this unconscious, subconscious draw to go towards it. Even if it doesn’t make logical sense. And so going back to even people linking up that, oh, there’s a gift, like hardship is a gift or a pride in hardship. People get pride in hardship linked up all of the time where they have this feeling of pride, of, of, because of this hardship. There’s so much pride. Then on a subconscious level, what happens, there’s a part of them that wants hardship and of course consciously, there’s no part of them that wants it. But when they link up that feeling of pride with hardship, it pulls them towards the hardship. And by [01:17:00] the way, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen people who had extreme hardship, one after another after another in their lives. Because they also simultaneously had this feeling of pride and hardship connected to it. They didn’t mean to, but it got linked up. And that’s the very reason.
By the way, notice you’ll never hear me sit and tell you about how horrible my worst day was during my injury or in the depths of this, that the other, like I, I don’t go there and say, oh, it was, no, I don’t need to have a pride in it. I don’t need to create a connection in it. I don’t need to tell how bad and horrible it was or this. Instead. What I say is, you know what? It wasn’t the worst in the world. No, it was horrible. Don’t get me wrong, it was absolutely horrible. And I’ll say that and wouldn’t wanna do it again, and that’s it. Like wouldn’t wanna do it again. It was absolutely horrible. And I was, and I’ll also say something like, it was a train wreck. Why? Because I’m not linking it up to, oh, it was a gift. No, I don’t [01:18:00] want my mind to link up that my injury was a gift. Nope. I would say my injury, I was a train wreck, but when I changed. Change is a gift. Enlightenment awareness, positive emotions, transformation, that’s the gift. And so just food for thought as you take this in, being really acutely aware what it is that you link up in your mind because it can influence you even if your logical mind knows that it shouldn’t or that it doesn’t want something. If the emotions are there, they can still impact you. And so these are the key insights that I want to invite you to take in your own life. Just becoming acutely aware of what you’re feeling at a deeper level and really change it, even if you logically know it doesn’t make sense. Making sure to really change it at a deeper, deeper, deeper level in your subconscious mind. That is key. [01:19:00] For helping you to get the results that you want in your life.
Alright, so that said, it has been such a pleasure connecting with you, and as always, please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know. Because the more that every single person understands their mind and the counterintuitive mind and understands beyond logic, the importance of really shifting emotions at a deeper level, the more that every single person can help empower their lives into more love, more happiness, more joy, more healing, and of course. The better that is for all of us, and so please do make a point to hit the share button, and please do make a point to have a most wonderful, incredible rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We’ll see you there.[01:20:00]
Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are.
If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their [01:21:00] programming, to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind, your incredible. And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You’ll wanna remember that there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level, and people realize.
That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my [email protected] slash podcast. And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.
Lastly, please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won’t want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you’ll wanna continue seeing them and make it your [01:22:00] goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you.
