IQ-98: Transcript: Freeing Yourself From People Pleasing

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themself of physical pain using only their mind, and then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your. To help you heal your health yourself and your life. Let's begin.


Hello and welcome to this week's quick IQ episode where we talk about insights and questions. And today I wanna share with you an insight regarding. People pleasing because all too often it can actually impact your health, your life, your happiness, and of course your relationships. And I see it all of the time.

And so I wanna take a moment to unpack this and provide you with a few insights that can help you to radically shift this in your life. So first and foremost, I wanna take a moment and talk about the problem of people pleasing. Because what can happen is this. All the time, people will have a fear of what others think, or even a feeling of obligation or [00:02:00] overwhelm in their nervous system where they're feeling like they have to do for this person.

And if they don't, then somebody's gonna hate them. And when you stop and think about it for a moment, when somebody has this programmed in at a really deep level in their subconscious mind, it can make them feel unsafe. And if you are feeling. , of course, fear, you know, fight flight that can affect your nervous system.

And not only that, but part of the reason that people pleasing can be such a pattern as well, is because what happens is we can feel like we're going to lose love. And as you likely know by now, love is important. I mean, we all. love, and I always use the example, you know, just like a plant, it needs the sun.

We as human being, , we need love. And so a lot of times people who have a deep pattern of people pleasing can [00:03:00] have a sense of feeling like they need to do something and they feel obligated, but they don't want to. And then they feel stressed about doing the very thing. But then they feel like if they don't, they're gonna lose love.

It's not gonna be safe. And as you can imagine for these reasons, it can affect your health, your life, your happiness, what you're manifesting, your relationships, your energy, all of that. and so on today's quick IQ episode, I wanna provide you with three simple insights that you can use to help begin to shift this in your life.

And by the way, some of the insights that we're going to talk about are simple but profound, and that's because, you know, sometimes people will have it very stuck in their mind that they need 100% of approval from everybody and love from every. , and if there's anybody who doesn't approve of them or that they don't connect with, it feels devastating.

It feels hurtful. It feels, you know, rejection or it, you know, [00:04:00] feels bad. Which, if you think about it for a moment, that's a lot like pressuring yourself and taking a test and saying, I have to get a hundred percent, and if I miss one, if I get 99 or 98%, It's devastating and it's painful and I've failed, and you know, that type of feeling.

And so some of the things that we're gonna talk about are just creating a shift in perspective, and others are simple or even insightful things that you could do to start creating a deeper level of shift in your energy, in your patterns and in your mindset. All right, so that said, counting backwards and starting with number three is first and foremost, allowing it to be okay that every single person doesn't need to like you, and it can be safe. Meaning this, meaning that if you stop and think about dogs, you wouldn't look around the world and see that a hundred percent of people all love dogs.

that's not true. Or cats, [00:05:00] you know, there's not a hundred percent of people who love cats or even the ocean. There's not a hundred percent of people who love the ocean or the mountains. And so when you stop and think about it for a moment, even the things that the universe, God, divine energy, whatever you wanna call it, mother nature, even the things that the universe has created, don't get a hundred percent approval rating.

And you know, there's not one musician or president or prime minister or queen or king or actor or actress, anybody who's had a hundred percent approval ratings. And so when you think about that in your life, taking in the awareness that. , you don't need a hundred percent approval from every single person in your life and that it's okay.

It can be safe and wonderful. And one way to give your mind context for this is you could think about your favorite sports player or your favorite person in the world, or your [00:06:00] favorite, anybody. And you could ask yourself, you know, does a hundred percent of every single person love this being? And the chances are you would say,

There are some people who don't resonate with that being, and that's okay. So what you could do is just look at this awareness and take in that feeling and remind your mind you don't need a hundred percent of people to love you in your life, for your life to be great. And all the time. What happens is people are striving for, you know, people pleasing and they want every single person to love them, and let's be.

That's a lot of effort. You don't need a hundred percent of people to resonate with you or to people, please, to a hundred percent of people. And so just even taking a moment to really digest this awareness can help your nervous system to relax, and you can remind your mind that it is safe. You don't need a hundred percent [00:07:00] approval ratings and taking that in and feeling that.

So that's number. now. Number two is that of course you wanna have connection with people around you, and that is key. And so moving in that direction, you wanna make sure that you can create harmonious relationships. And so if there is something that comes up where you notice you are people pleasing, or you're feeling obligated or overextended, and you're feeling that it's.

I would encourage you to find a great way to communicate, to shift it so you're not feeling like it's off, and you're also not waiting for last minute to change it. You know, you're not sitting there harboring negative feelings inside and getting upset because of course, that can affect your health and ultimately will also end up affecting the relationship.

So [00:08:00] that's number two and number. has to do with looking at your own internal patterns and noticing if you do have a feeling of fear of abandonment or expecting abandonment or feelings of insecurity in relationships. And the reason this is important is because a lot of times part of what fuels these patterns of feeling like you're stuck in people pleasing is because there's an underlying feeling, a fear of losing.

And a lot of times this can come from a feeling of not feeling good enough or less than, or even patterns of rejection, in which case somebody will try to compensate by just people pleasing and overextending themselves. , and I've seen this happen all of the time. And what's beautiful is that when I've seen people who've really transformed these patterns have looked inside and gotten rid of the feeling of fear of rejection or [00:09:00] abandonment or patterns from their past, and brought in more feelings of confidence, not arrogance or superiority, but genuinely feeling.

Feelings of self-love and confidence. It's been beautiful and transformative. And from that place, that feeling of needing to people please also melts away because instead there's a feeling of respect and love and pure, genuine, heartfelt connection that is so beautiful. And what I love is from that place.

instead of feeling like trying to people please, to me it feels like a love fest. It feels like you love giving in relationships and you're great at receiving in relationships, and it just feels really sweet and loving and that's the way that I love it. I, I feel so blessed that I have. Friendships in my life where it literally just feels like that.

It feels like a love fest where I can [00:10:00] be so giving to my friends and in return, they're so giving and I can receive, and it just creates this fun harmony that I absolutely just love. It melts me, it allows me to give freely, and that feels incredible. It's just, it's just a wonderful feeling. And so, That's what I want to invite you to look at.

If you have been stuck in that obligation, stuck people pleasing and discomfort and all of that, that you genuinely look at transforming that. In your life because it does it. It really just feels incredible. And so that said, those are today's insights for our quick IQ episode, and I'm gonna ask you to please do make a point to hit this share button on this episode.

You know, share it with somebody you love. Somebody you care about or somebody you don't even know. Because the more empowered that every single person is in our world and more happy and healthy and loving that everybody is, the better [00:11:00] this world is for all of us. And so please do have a most wonderful, incredible rest of your day and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them, hope or touched their heart, or help them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing every.

What we are all capable of. And of course each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You are incredible.

And I do wanna be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll wanna remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you wanna send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my [email protected] slash podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Last. Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll wanna continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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