IQ-145 Transcript: Surprising Subconscious Influences Affecting Our Relationships and Connections

Heal Yourself Change Your Life

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Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore. And after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this. Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level.

I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain, using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy. to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life. Let's begin.

Hello and welcome to this week's quick IQ episode where we talk about insights and questions. And today I want to share with you a very powerful but simple insight that can have a profound impact. And it's this, you know, last week we had talked about the importance of human connection, and also the Surgeon General's warning, even regarding the topic of loneliness, and how much loneliness can actually impact your health, your happiness, your life, your longevity, and we had talked about that, but I want to take it a step further, because there are invisible factors that are impacting health, relationships, love, life, that many people aren't seeing that are also, by the way, impacting a lot of children's lives, and children's health, and happiness, and connection, and confidence, and all of that.

And so, I want to break this down, and I want to give you a simple analogy for it. first to kind of illustrate where we're going, and it's this. It's that sometimes in our world, we have a tendency to kind of try to resolve something and then swing the pendulum in the other direction. For example, as you may recall, you know, in the 90s and Around there, there was a big thing about, you know, stay out of the sun.

The sun's bad for your skin, et cetera, et cetera. And of course that's continued in a lot of different areas. And then as a result, there were a huge amount of people that had low vitamin D. And so they weren't getting enough vitamin D because a primary source of vitamin D is from the sun. And so point being is that sometimes in our world, people will try to find a solution.

You know, they're trying to solve a problem and in trying to do so, they end up creating a different problem. You know, even if we think about crops with pesticides, you know, a lot of people were trying to. Protect crops. So crops weren't dying. And what did they do? They started spraying them with a bunch of pesticides.

Now there's a lot of chemicals in our food and that's a problem. So it's like we're trying to solve one problem and then end up as a result creating another one. Now the same is true on an emotional level, you know, all of the time I'll see people who are trying to resolve some type of solution and then Instead, end up creating a different type of problem, and they may not even realize it.

And the one I want to share with you today is this, is that, you know, there's been a lot of messaging in our culture to not be a people pleaser, to stand up, to have a voice, to speak your truth, to speak what it is that you want. But there's a piece that is missing from that, that's ending up creating even more problems.

And it's this, it's that when we speak what it is that we want, or not people pleasing, or we're standing up for ourselves, we want to make sure that we're doing so in a really kind and loving, caring way. And this is what I'm seeing, is this. Is that some people are having more and more of a righteousness about standing up for self.

Now I'm seeing this in children also. who are being raised and being told, you've got to stand up for yourself. You've got to speak your truth. You've got to have your voice, which is all really, really great. Except we want to make sure to add the messaging of doing so from a place of kindness. And the reason for that is that there's more and more abrasiveness when people are being abrasive to get what they want or abrasive to make their point or abrasive to set a boundary.

And what happens is it erodes relationships. It erodes friendships. Because what happens is you start to lose that trust or that feeling of safety in a relationship because you don't know if somebody's going to be abrasive or not. You know, and I'm seeing this even more and more in children where they're hearing that messaging.

You know, don't be a people pleaser, say what it is that you want, stand up for yourself. And the problem is, is because that other piece of, you know, do so from a place of kindness. is not being added in. They're having a harder and harder time maintaining friendships, or not experiencing rejection, or having a lot of drama and hurt, etc.

that's creating more problems. And so, a lot of times, even when I've been working with children, There's a disconnect, a feeling of not being able to connect with others, or a lot of hurt, or maybe they're standing up for themselves and then they're feeling picked on. Not because they're standing up for themselves, but because they're doing so in a way that's abrasive, and then it's creating more and more problems.

And so it's like that pendulum swinging where we're trying to solve one problem. of, you know, being a people pleaser and not having respect for self. And, and so it's like the, the effort to, to fix one problem, but then it's creating a whole nother problem. And I'm seeing more and more of that. And by the way, it's not just children.

I have seen And they're all women who are in that same energy where they've maybe spent their lives feeling like a people pleaser and, you know, not being able to have their voice. So then they step into their voice but there's an abrasiveness to it. And unfortunately what happens is then they go through one relationship after another after another after another that's not working out.

And then at the same time they tell themselves, well, I'm doing the right thing. I'm having a voice. I'm standing up for myself. And so, absolutely having a voice, a hundred percent. You want to have a voice, but there's just that key distinction of doing so from a place that feels really nice and loving because in most cases in relationships and loving relationships or friendship connections or even business relationships, a lot of times people will see things from a completely different perspective.

If there is any type of issue or if we aren't standing up for ourselves or if we are, you know, having a voice or not being a people pleaser, if we can do so from a kind way that enables and empowers communication and connection and love, that of course increases human connection. So it's good for your health, your happiness, and your life.

Now, let's be honest. I know that this insight sounds extremely simple to a lot of people. And yet, when we stop and think about the subconscious mind for a moment, most people who are doing this very thing, Don't even consciously realize they're doing it. And so instead, what happens is they feel like they're doing the right thing.

They feel like they're standing up for themselves or having a voice or not being a people pleaser. And then all of a sudden they're doing the right thing per their mind. You know, they, they feel like in their mind, they're doing the right thing. And yet it's impacting their relationships in a negative way.

And it's creating all these problems. And so while I know the insight of, you know, don't be abrasive, be kind in your communication. is an easy one when it's said, but it's also for most people, a hidden one that they don't even realize is there. And so when you really think about the subconscious awareness and changing it and the insight that this is going on, it's simple, but it's profound and it's pivotal.

If you really You can think about this in your own life and you apply it. It can create a real shift. Now part of the reason that I'm also sharing this is just because I see so many kids who are having a hard time connecting because of this very reason. So then they feel hurt, they feel rejected, they don't understand, they feel like they're doing what's right and simultaneously being hurt by it.

And of course, I mean, I see this in adults and people of all ages as well. A lot of times, you know, that feeling of isolation or disconnect or feeling unable to feel love and connection in a relationships can contribute. to that hurt or that emotional pain. And of course, looking at the positive, when you start to think about somebody going from people pleasing or not having a voice, and then if they swing the pendulum in the other way to where they have a voice and it is abrasive and it, it feels righteous or standing up for self, again, that obviously is not going to go well for relationships.

But instead, if somebody goes from a place of not having a voice, to feeling like they can have their voice and speak their truth and set boundaries, but connect and really come from that place of connection. That right there really brings more human connection, more respect, more love, more health, happiness, joy, intimacy.

And so That's the insight that I really wanted to share on today's quick IQ episode. And so I want to invite you to look at this in your life and in your relationships and notice if you are being abrasive and if so, be willing to transform that to get a new vision of what that looks like to instead come from a place of love and harmony.

And yet still be able to speak your truth and have your boundaries and not be a people pleaser but be honest with yourself and really grow and flourish from that mindset. And by the way, if you think about past episodes where you hear me working with a volunteer who's experiencing physical pain or physical ailments or health issues, a variety of different health issues, and if you think about it, a lot of times, emotional issues in relationships.

can come up. So a lot of times maybe it's hurt or rejection or, you know, all different types of emotions. And of course, when you think about it and you hear people who are creating those changes, who are shifting their emotions and releasing their own pain, using their own mind, it's incredible. But what happens if we take that to the next level?

And we really make sure to fuel the harmony in our lives, in our relationships, so we're not triggering a lot of those negative emotions that are creating the problems. And so, food for thought, just so many benefits from creating this change and When we stop and look at it, I think that most of us can probably agree between social media or politics or whatnot, there can be some abrasiveness out there.

And of course, by transforming that in your own life and really embodying that kind, loving, wonderful communication, it may sound easy, you know, it may sound like a simple insight. But, let's be honest, if when we take it and really apply it to embrace the change, that's when it becomes pivotal. And so, that's today's quick IQ episode, and as always, I want to ask you to please do take a quick second to hit the share button, you know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don't even know, because the more happy and healthy and loving that every single person is in our world.

The better this world is for all of us, including our children and the next generation. And so sharing the love, really transforming, embracing the change. And I want to wish you a most wonderful, fantastic rest of your day. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We'll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touch their heart or help them stay positive in hard times or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are.

If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about, or those, you know, who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life. If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore. com slash podcast.

And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind.

Thank you.

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