Hello and happy beautiful day to you. On today’s quick IQ episode, I wanna share with you just one quick tip that you can use to help begin improving your relationships. And part of the reason that I’m bringing this up is because so often I’ll see people who are working on healing themselves, changing their lives, and they’re feeling hurt in their relationship.
Or unloved or unfulfilled in their relationship. And of course. That can affect your health, your life, your happiness. And so I just wanna provide a quick insight now as I do. The insight that I wanna provide today is really practical, you know, and, and sometimes you’ll see as I’m working with people on, you know, past episodes where I work with a volunteer, it’s, it’s insightful where, you know, you see people healing themselves, releasing pain, or creating all kinds of changes in minutes using their own mind.
And so it really is expansive. Now today. Ultimately what I wanna do is really bring a very grounded insight because so often people will overlook the practical things that are also needed to make that change in their relationship.
Creating Change by Shifting Your Emotional Response
And so the practical insight is this: I want to invite you to look at your relationship and note, what would you like more in it? Is it more love? Is it more connected? Is it more romance? Is it more sweetness? Is it more kindness?
And then I wanna invite you to ask yourself, how can you help create that feeling in it? Not just ask for it, but how can you create that feeling? And what I mean by that is this: so often people might say something like, “I wish you could understand me more,” or “I need more love,” or—there’s a feeling of kind of complaining sometimes about what’s not there, or asserting themselves in what’s not there, or being angry or hurt.
In other words, when something’s missing, so often the emotions that come up end up making it worse. So if somebody’s feeling unloved, they might express it or feel negative feelings towards it where they’re angry or hurt, or then distancing themselves or you know, just not showing up to the relationship, which then does what? Increases the problem.
Understanding the Cycle of Disconnection
Or they complain about it and they feel needy or whatnot, which does what? Also increases the problem. And so, so often the automatic reactions that a person might have in a relationship can increase the problem instead of decrease it.
You know, if somebody’s feeling upset because they’re not getting enough attention, and they express they’re feeling upset and feeling not heard—what does that ultimately do? Well, many times their partner will end up feeling criticized or hurt or whatnot. It doesn’t increase the connection. It decreases it.
How to Shift the Emotional Energy in Your Relationship
And so, as I mentioned, just one quick practical insight—and it’s exactly that—is I want to invite you to look at in your relationship what you’d like to see more of. And not just asking for it, not just commanding it or demanding it or complaining about it, but ultimately asking yourself, how can you create that feeling of it?
Because the more you can create the feeling, the more that you can really express that, the more you can create that in your relationship. So in other words, let’s say your partner has been really busy at work, and busy at work or busy with this, or feeling criticized or feeling upset or feeling this, or feeling that or or whatnot—just in a lot of assertive emotions.
How do you get your partner to feel feelings? How can you feel or create playfulness? How can you create laughter? How can you create lightness?
Ideas to Spark Connection
Maybe it’s by playing music. Maybe it’s by watching a movie together, a loving, sweet movie. What is that for you? What feeling would you like to start creating? How can you create that on a regular basis?
Because what can happen is, as you ultimately find little ways or big ways to create feelings on a regular basis in your relationship, that of course can create a beautiful shift.
Disrupting Reactive Patterns That Push Love Away
Now, the other quick thing to note is additionally, is that if you notice something that maybe you’re doing that is reactive and pushing your partner away—for example, getting angry, getting upset, criticizing, commanding, demanding—that type of thing. Unfortunately, even though a lot of times somebody might do it because they want things to change, it can of course push your partner away.
And so I want to invite you to notice if there’s anything that you are doing in that way, and maybe if you could discontinue it or do it in a different way that feels more loving, more sweet, more playful, more enjoyable, that really instead creates more of that loving connection.
From Reaction to Fulfillment: Creating Lasting Shifts
So again, very practical, grounded information, but a reminder. Because so often what happens in a relationship, you can get frustrated or hurt or fearful or upset or feeling unlovable. You can be reactive and you can fall into that pattern. Get stuck into that pattern and that can show up and it can get your relationship in a place where it’s really not fulfilling you the way you want.
And of course, the more you can fulfill your relationship, your happiness, your health—it’s good for every part of your life. So food for thought.
Taking the First Step Toward Healing
And by the way, so that’s a simple thing you can do. Of course, if you are somebody who is working on healing yourself and really wanting to create healing results, I do have a free training that can help you to understand at a deeper level how to do that. So there is that available as well.
And if you’re somebody who is looking to really transform your health or relationships, of course I offer courses for that as well. But ultimately, if you could implement this in your life, it can start to help you make a change today.
So. That said, that is the quick insight for today, and as always, please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know. Because the more that every single person in our world is happy, and healthy, and loved and loving, the better this world is for all of us.
And so please do take a quick moment to hit the share button and please do have a most wonderful, incredible rest of your day, and I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We’ll see you there.
