Welcome to Heal Yourself, Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life changing injury, it's become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.
Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I'll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind and your body. and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.
Let's begin.
Hello and happy, beautiful day to you. You're absolutely going to love today's episode and. Our beautiful volunteer and just the insights that come from the session with her. And so that's where we're going on today's episode. I work with this beautiful volunteer, Amanda, who has been experiencing a variety of different health issues and we'll dive into that, but just also in the hospital, just a variety of different things that have been affecting her.
And what I love about today's episode is just that. In many ways, it helps you to look at the bigger picture of healing or transformation, or transforming your relationships, or even the reason that it can feel so hard to get out of patterns, or so easy to get stuck in patterns, or hurt, or whatnot. I mean, just from so many angles, it's just so important.
It's powerful. It's beautiful. And it really helps you see why challenges, why, why it can be so challenging to create a real change. And I know when I was going through my own injury, you know, there was times that I was very stuck in subconscious patterns that I couldn't see and fear and whatnot. And, and of course, in today's episode, We're going towards relationships and how that can impact your health and, and how the, the reason it can be hard to change.
And by the way, part of what I also love is that anybody can get stuck in these places and also create the change. To get out of it. And what I mean by that is this, is of course, you know, I work with people all over the world, and, uh, celebrities, or, um, Olympic athletes, or CEOs, or, or wonderful mothers and fathers, and just incredible people all over the world, from every walk of life, spiritual, or people refer their, people's doctors refer them to me, and so it's just, from so many different ways of thinking, different walks of life, And at our core, relationship, love, connection, patterns.
It's there, you know. And so that's what I love about this episode. It's just so insightful and relatable. And again, our volunteer, you're absolutely going to love her. She just has a beautiful heart. And so as we, so let's go ahead and dive in. But again, her name is Amanda and, uh, you're just absolutely going to love it even as it opens up more and more.
So we start with an ear issue, but there's, there's more things going on as well. And so that's, um, Where we're going as we step back in, or step in with our beautiful volunteer, Amanda. Here we go.
Hello, Amanda. Hi. Nice to meet you. It's wonderful to meet you. How's your day going? Pretty good. How about you? It's beautiful. Thank you so much. It's beautiful. What can I help you with today? Um, well, I. Rodin to be a volunteer, obviously. Um, I've been having, my team is so efficient that they take care of everything and all I do is show up when my calendar says it and that's, yes.
So, so if you filled out the paperwork beforehand, I'm sure you did. I, I have not read it. I like to come fresh so then I can check into your energy and see what, what it is just on the spot. So, okay. Great. Yes. Um, well, I wrote in because I've been having problems with my, kind of the side of my head and my ear for a long time, like TMJ for years, but just most recently it's really focused on my ear and like really bad tinnitus, tinnitus, I always say that wrong.
And um, it's like some hearing loss even lately, it just feels like I have cotton balls stuffed in there. But then I've just been having all kinds of other health problems lately too, so. Okay, and you did not shove cotton balls in there. No. Okay. Beautiful, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe. Okay, and um, bingo.
Okay, so give me one second. And you said that you've also been experiencing some other health issues. Yeah, in the past couple months, so. Okay, and what are those specifically? Some bladder issues that seemed like a UTI, but turned out not to be a UTI. Some digestive issues that landed me in the hospital for a little bit last week.
Great, I definitely don't recommend those issues to anybody, just so you know ahead of time. Great, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe.
And, uh, bingo. Okay, so I want you to notice you have a beautiful, beautiful smile on the outside, but then inside there's a part of you that's really, uh, feels like crying on the inside, struggling, hurt. Are you familiar with that feeling? So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and then behind it, there's a voice that's like, nothing goes right, uh, type of feeling.
Are you familiar with that feeling? Yeah. So I'm going to ask you to breathe, and if I ask you zero to ten, how much you can find the intensity behind that emotion specifically? How much would you say that is? Probably like an eight. Yeah, so pretty high. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. Bingo. Okay. And so there's kind of, uh, there's a feeling connected to it, kind of like a feeling of feeling, um, mad at life.
Are you familiar with that feeling? I mean, it's not like in the forefront, like I'm not thinking that way, but maybe subconsciously. Okay. So, uh, let me put it in another way. So I love your awareness. I love your, um, bingo. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.
Let me put it in another way. If I ask you how much you can find the feeling of feeling like, what's going to happen next, uh, type of feeling of, um, Uh, let me put it, uh, a lot of effort, but feeling like, feeling like you're a lot of effort, but not trusting things are going to get better and not feeling, like feeling like something else is going to happen, if you will.
That make sense? Yeah. 1000%. 1000%. Okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.
Bingo.
Bingo. Okay. Um, there's a, there's a person that there's some anger towards. Do you know who that is by chance? I had a lot of anger around my husband, but it's, it's been really a lot better lately. Okay, bingo. And can you give me his, uh, first initial, please? D. Bingo. Bingo. Okay. And so I'm gonna ask you to breathe.
And, and I want you to notice the part of you who feels a bit like, I'm right, you're wrong. Um, like, like, kind of like, you, you know, the feeling of wanting to kind of punish him a bit. Can you find that feeling? Okay. And if I ask you zero to 10, how much would you say that is? It's gotten better. I've been trying.
I'm aware of that and I've been trying to let it go. So I would say it's like a six or a seven. Okay. Okay. So I love your, I love your awareness and I love that you're working on it. Okay. Um, bingo, bingo. All right. And there's another piece. Okay. So, um, so there's multiple pieces, which is why it's, it's felt a little challenging here.
Uh, can you see the part of you also at times that feels like he doesn't, uh, doesn't love you, um, at all? Can you find that feeling? And if I ask you zero to ten, how much you can find that feeling?
That too has gotten better lately, so I would say like a five or a six. Okay, so I'm going to ask you to breathe, and I want you to notice that this has been a painful spot for a while, right? Yeah. You can see that? Mm hmm. Okay, now um, I'm going to ask you to breathe. And give me just a second.
All right. So let's go ahead and pause the session just for a quick moment. You know, first and foremost, I love her heart. I love her self awareness, her self honesty, just beautiful. And part of what we're talking about today is, you know, getting stuck in patterns and getting unstuck. Now, when you stop and think about it for a moment, when it comes to love, you know, we know we need love, just like we need water, we need food.
You know, if an infant doesn't get enough love. They can actually die. And so when we have patterns of feeling unloved, we want to, of course, make sure to change them. But all of the time, what can happen is, you know, we might have those feelings of feeling unloved and then suppress and suppress and not want to feel it and maybe just go do something else or, you know, avoid it or distract ourselves or go on instead of genuinely And imagine for a moment if somebody went through life and they felt hungry the entire time, you know, just having this these hunger pains and feeling that way.
Now, of course, there's a part of her also does feel love. So it's a bit of a mixed bag. But remember. Mixed emotions matter also, and so that is key. Now, another thing you want to think about is this, is that imagine for a moment if somebody feels like love hurts, so then they say, okay, well, they get hurt, or they get upset, or they get stuck in that uncomfortable feeling, and they want to run from it.
But we also need it. And so it's kind of like food. Imagine if somebody was upset with food, and they say, okay, well, they push food away and say, never again. But then of course, they need food. And so what happens is it keeps us stuck. Like when we have certain patterns of reaction, you can keep stuck in the same thing where you say, okay, I don't want love, but then I do, but then I want to punish it.
But like, so it keeps this hurt and wounding going because of course we need love. And so that's where we're going as we step back in is really looking at these patterns at a deeper level and wanting to get unstuck because so often the programmed responses that a person will have in a relationship can perpetuate the pattern as well.
And, and so it, and of course it makes it hard to change because It's invisible. And then it can also be reactive. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with our beautiful volunteer, Amanda. Here we go.
Bingo. If I ask you to notice the pattern throughout your life of feeling, uh, not loved, if I ask you how much you can see that pattern throughout your life, what would you say? Yeah, I bet. Yeah. Okay, so, um, that, that, bingo. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe,
bingo. And I want you to notice how there's certain things that your husband could say that could kind of trigger you to get upset. Can you see that? Mm hmm. And, Can you see the other part of you that's like, okay, I don't want to get angry. I don't want to be angry. And then the other part of you that there's certain things that he could say that would just kind of, that you're sensitive to, like you're reactive to.
You can see that. Correct? Yeah. Yeah. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I'm going to ask you just please, please, please, please, please remember not to judge or criticize yourself at all, but instead to have absolute compassion, absolute compassion, to have absolute compassion, and I'm going to ask you to breathe, not sympathy though, but You don't want to feel sympathy for you.
You know why? Because you're really freaking amazing. We don't feel sorry for you. We feel like you're amazing, right? Yeah. Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. We know you're amazing. We know your thoughts help create your life. So we don't feel any sympathy for you. We just know we got to work out the bugs, right?
Okay. Got to work out the bugs to, to create the change, right? Great. So I'm gonna ask you to breathe. So there's zero sympathy for self. Zero, because you know the truth is that you're amazing.
Great, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. So the truth is that you're amazing, and you just got to work out the bugs a bit, so to speak, on shifting these patterns. Because this is what happens, is once you get in them, and then you feel like you get triggered, and then you feel like then you're upset, then it's harder to love when you're upset, because then you're upset, and then you're triggered.
It's like you're stuck in the cycle. That make sense? Yeah. Okay, now if I ask you how much it feels like you have, like you shoved way too much cotton in your ears right now, if I ask you 0 to 10 what your level is, what level would you say? Oh, it's hard to tell with the ear bud in, but um, like a 6 maybe.
Like a 6, okay. So I'm going to ask you to breathe,
bingo, and I'm going to ask you to take in the feeling, what it would feel like, to feel like no matter what your husband says, you know you're not going to be reactive. Okay. You know you're not. Did you just laugh? You laughed at me? So there's a little change that's needed there? Yeah, probably. Okay, great.
But a positive change? Yeah. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So I want you to feel what that would feel like. So no matter what he says, you know that you're not going to be reactive because you know if you keep stuck in the cycle, you're going to be stuck in the cycle, then you're reactive. Now, by the way, when you're reactive, how easy are you to love?
Not so easy. Not so easy. Right? It's harder to love, like imagine if somebody's reactive towards you. Do you want to love them or maybe be defensive? I want to kind of run away. Yeah. Bingo. Okay? In which case,
so I want to go ahead and pause it just for a quick moment because as I was mentioning to her that, you know, being reactive and getting stuck in the same pattern, that she doesn't want to do that. Some people might hear this and they might immediately think that I'm meaning to stuff down your emotions.
And that's definitely not what I'm recommending. It's not about ignoring your emotions or stuffing them down. But instead what can happen is when we decide that we want to start changing our emotions instead of validating and validating, but start changing our emotions. So not being reactive, but really rewiring them at a deeper level.
Ultimately what we want to do. is instead of being reactive, is to really pay attention to what we are feeling. Because what happens is this, is that if you get upset and then you are reactive, now you have 20 more emotions on there, which are patterns anyway. But the more you get reactive, the more you're, have patterns come up and patterns come up.
Now, of course, then what happens? You get reactive, Then there's some type of circumstance or situation in life, meaning that then maybe you have an argument or then you have an action. So now it creates a lot more chaos around it. So now maybe you have an argument that now you've got to sort out and then make up with your spouse and then all of these things which then just adds layers and layers and layers and layers and layers on top of it and actionable things to do and be and conversation like it's a lot.
But if we have Emotions and we go, Oh, okay. I'm not going to be reactive. This is the emotional pattern. I need to take care of and rewire that I really need to change. Now we can be more productive because now we start observing the emotions that we're having. You identify what that is that you're really feeling.
And then when you identify what you're really feeling, then you have the power to change it. And so it's, it's not about, so my point is, is that all the time people will say, well, am I abandoning myself if I'm not? reacting or standing up for myself or getting upset or blah, blah, blah, or all of these things.
And it's like, but instead, if you start noticing what you're really feeling, and then you consciously decide how you want to program yourself, is it a valid emote? Do you need to make a change in your life, in your relationship? What, what do you need to do? So instead of being reactive? Instead, we want to consciously become aware of how we want to feel and what we want to do with our lives.
Because when we can act from a conscious place, now we are empowered to change our lives, to create that shift, to make a real, genuine change at a deeper level. Because of course, if you're reactive, so if somebody does something and you're reactive, you're not in control. Right? And so the more, so you're not empowered, then old programming, old emotions or whoever's triggering you is empowered over you instead of you being empowered and conscious about how you want to do and be and respond.
And of course it can be a little tricky. And so that's where we're going coming up is understanding that there can also be subconscious rules and layers and punishments, et cetera, et cetera. And that's. Part of an invisible piece that will, of course, will be important to shift. And so that's where we're going as we step back in with Amanda.
Here we go.
It would be hard for them to feel loved for that reason. Does that make sense? Yeah. So you end up in this loop, right? So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So. If he says something and you're reactive, and then he wants to run, or be defensive, or hurt, or hide from you in the house, other part of the house, how much is that then going to make you feel unloved?
A lot. Yeah. A lot. Now that you're feeling unloved, now you're going to be less sensitive or more sensitive? More. More. Which means that he says something and you feel less reactive or more reactive? Probably more. And you see the side then you react more easily you see the whole cycle, right? Mm hmm Okay, so I'm gonna ask you to breathe and now I also want you to notice the part of you that wants to make Him wrong.
You mentioned about a six seven punish him. He's wrong, etc. Can you see that? Yeah, I don't know about you But when somebody's trying to punish you it makes you want to really love them even more, right?
Or it makes it a little harder is it harder So I'm gonna ask you to breathe and I'm gonna invite you to close your eyes. So what if you knew that he loved you, but that some of your responses are making it harder to express love to you? So what if you know that he loves you, but your reactions and responses are making it harder to express love and instead are making you feel more unloved?
I
can see that. Okay, you can see that, right? So I'm going to ask you to breathe. And so the very thing that you think is going to get you what you want by getting upset, by punishing him, by being reactive, by making him, punishing him, or being mad at him, or being upset is not actually ever going to get you what you want.
It's going to do the exact opposite. You see that, right? Yeah. Great. So I'm going to ask you to breathe. So I'm going to ask you to either breathe. Judge yourself and criticize yourself. Or know that you're amazing and you could just change this and you could make everything better and better and better as you change this.
Great, so I'm going to ask you to breathe. So if I ask you how much you want to be reactive, or make him wrong, or punish him, or blah blah blah, or how much you'd actually rather, just get back to love and connection and sweetness and love.
Yeah. Right? So the thing of it is though, once you're in that cycle and then you want to punish and get upset and get angry and then any little thing and then you get triggered and then you feel unloved. You have to want to get out of it to get out of it, right? You got to really want to get out of it because other than that, especially if you, if you want to be mad, who can make you not want to be mad?
If you want to be mad, nobody's got to stop you. Right? Right. Only I can. So I'm going to ask you to breathe.
All right. So let's go ahead and actually pause the session right here. You know, first and foremost, again, I just love her heart. I love her self awareness. I love her honesty. And I'm so excited for her to start creating these changes because you can just see and feel how much she absolutely loves what she's doing.
her husband. And I love that. And I just, I love that. And I also, of course, feel that there's a lot of hurt there as well. But from that, a lot of times when people are hurt, then they get upset because they try to go into a strength or get mad to try to protect themselves. But then they also want to punish and be angry.
And And it ends up in this spiral. Now, punishment patterns can affect your life a lot more than people realize, but it's invisible. And so I want to unpack this for a moment, because I mean, I have seen people before where they decide that the way they punish people is they just shut people out of their lives and they think that it's, it's.
Insignificant, but then it ends up happening to them. And for example, uh, there's this woman that I worked with who thought, okay, well, you know what? If the gardener does something, I'm just going to ghost him. I'm just going to stop talking to them. Oh, the pool maintenance. People, Oh, they did this and this.
I'm just going to ghost them and just not respond. And had a tendency with people in life, relationships, friends, whatnot, just like saying, okay, well, I'm going to ghost so and so, et cetera. And what I mean by ghost for anybody who's not familiar with that term, I'm just going to stop talking to them. I'm just going to be quiet and.
shut them out, not respond, and that was their punishment. Now, simultaneously, for example, this woman would all the time have her family shut her out, and she was the, she felt like the victim. She felt like, well, I'm the victim. I can't believe they're not talking to me. They're so mean, and so she had all of this rejection pattern, but meanwhile, She was perpetuating it in her life.
That was her punishment towards others, friends, people around, people who worked for her, whatever it was, and that was her way of being. And so in that case, she basically, it was like a subconscious rule. If you do this, if you, whatever it is, like that was a form of punishment. And so that's what continued to also manifest in her life.
Or anytime, like with our beautiful volunteer, she can have this feeling of wanting to punish so and so, but then also feeling like she needs to be hard or punish herself. And I see that all the time too. And so no matter what way it is, you won't want to have a punishing energy. And by the way, sometimes when I say this, people will say, well, what about my children?
But even with children, you don't want to have a feeling of punishing them from anger or upset. Like, the punishment should be a, something that is thoughtful in that it's like, well, what do they need to grow? What do they need to learn? It shouldn't be like, Oh, I'm so mad at them. I'm going to punish them.
Don't you? Like, it shouldn't be from that place. It should be from a place that says, okay, what is a punishment that will teach them, that will grow them, that will make them not want to do this again? What does that look like? You know, um, and so that's the place that you ultimately want to come from. And I know that's a whole nother topic that maybe we'll do another episode on sometime, because that's, that's something that I've worked extensively with, with people is what is that, but, but you can even think about ways in your own life.
If you have children. Of being thoughtful in punishing them that says those very things, like what would you want to do that would help them to learn from it instead of doing it from a place of anger or upset. But that's anybody in your life. You don't want to have a bunch of punishing energy towards anybody.
Because ultimately, even, even if you did decide that you don't want somebody in your life, you can kindly say, you know what? Or even, you know, if they continue to break your boundaries and what you, you've told them, you know, I, I think we should just, you know, I think it's best that I just need my own space.
Okay, great. Now you've communicated it. And what not. And of course there are situations, you know, it depends on the situation, but it still shouldn't be from a, I'm going to punish you energy. And what happens is when we have that, it's hard to get back to connecting and loving. And even if we have a feeling of, I want to be mad at you.
Now, part of the reason, and one of the things I want to do is I actually want to pause the session right here. So we're going to continue on with the rest of the session, going even deeper. Next week where we're talking even more about her health issues and opening up her hearing and all of the things so we're going there But already for the holidays, I'm hearing people who are saying oh well so and so no I'm mad at them and I'm holding on to this or that and and so you see that I see that Already for some people in their families, they say, Oh no, I'm, I'm doing this.
Like those feelings are up, which of course can create illness or problems or pain, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so I want to invite you to look at this in your life. And if you are feeling a feeling of punishment towards anybody, including self, I want to invite you to reassess that and see if you actually need that or what it would look like to actually just let it go so you're not wanting to be angry or punish anybody.
You know, as the old saying goes, what is that old saying? It's like being angry at somebody or taking out Anger on somebody is like drinking the poison yourself, and it's so true, because these emotions then affect your own health, your own life, your relationships, and a lot of times people don't see just how much that plays out.
And so, that's what I want to invite you to look at, is how can you create even more harmony in your own life? Your relationships, especially coming up for the holidays. Is it something with family or relationships or what does that look like? But not just for the holidays, of course, change in your life and your health.
So that's one thing. Now, the other thing I want to note is this, is that. A lot of, on the last IQ episode, I got a ton of comments, people, a ton of emails. And we were talking about frequency, about healing frequency, understanding energy, et cetera. So by the way, if you missed the last IQ episode, I strongly recommend go back and listen to it.
People loved it. And also I'll be going even deeper into healing. Energy and understanding energy and some of the counterintuitive misinformation about energy. So that's also where we're going on the next IQ episode. So just keeping that in mind as well. And as always, if you want to have a deeper training, I do have my 90 minute masterclass, that free class that is available on my website.
So that is available as well. So if you want a deeper level of understanding, cause I know that I make this look very, very easy when it comes to healing and, but that's where we're going next week. We're going to work on opening up her ear and you'll see her hearing and, and, and you'll see what that is.
But ultimately, We'll be going deeper into transforming relationships, but I want to invite you to take this time to really think about in your life, if you have a punishing energy towards anybody, towards self and. if you're willing to start changing that. So that's today's episode. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.
And I want to ask you, please do make a point to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about or somebody you don't even know, because the more that every single person in our world is happy and healthy and loved and loving, the better this world is for all of us.
And so please do hit the share button and please do hit the like button. Please do make a point to have a most wonderful, incredible rest of your day. And I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.
for listening to heal yourself, change your life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope, or touched their heart, or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness. Of how amazing we all really are. If today's episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those, you know, who really need it as more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better.
That is the point. And the power of these demonstrations is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone. What we are all capable of. And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming, to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life.
If you really understand how to use your mind, you're incredible. And I do want to be clear though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own. I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You'll want to remember that there's so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize.
That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at brandygillmore.com/podcast. And if you're currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well. Lastly, Please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won't want to avoid your doctors.
Instead, you'll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you're capable of with your mind. Thank you.
