Self-Healing Insights: Finding the Hidden Pattern Behind Toxic Relationships (Michael | Ep. 353)

Welcome to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. I’m Brandy Gillmore, and what I’m most known for is helping people to create radical transformations, and even demonstrating the power of the mind and self-healing under medical equipment so you can see the results. And my work has even been published in a medical journal because it’s truly incredible what we are all capable of when we understand our own minds at a deeper level.

So whether you’re new to this work or you’ve been studying the power of the mind for many years, I love that you’re here. I love that we’re on this incredible journey together, and I look forward to sharing breakthrough information with you. That said, on this podcast, I’ll share two types of episodes.

First, self-healing episodes where I share key insights from working with live volunteers. And the second type are where I answer questions from the audience. That said, if you’d like to volunteer or submit a question, come visit me at BrandyGillmore.com. On that note, let’s dive in

Hello and happy beautiful day to you. I want to add in a quick but important note to make this podcast very easy to navigate because today’s episode has a special format. Today, I worked with a live volunteer, and as you probably know, there are a lot of people who are now using AI to modify information online.

For that reason, we have taken an extra step to help protect our beautiful volunteer and the integrity of this work to help keep the information from being modified. And we actually love how this turned out because it provides you with even more information. This is how it works. On today’s episode, you’ll hear an overview of the person that I worked with, and I will provide you with simple but powerful breakthrough insights that helped our volunteer begin making a radical shift.

Then at the end of this short breakthrough episode, if you are ready for a deep dive, you can click in the show notes to gain access to the actual self-healing session where I worked directly with the live volunteer. This enables us to help protect the information online from being modified while still continuing to provide you with powerful information to help bridge the gap between science and spirituality and personal empowerment, because it’s truly incredible what you are capable of when you learn to understand your mind at a deeper level.

That said, let’s dive into the simple but powerful insights that came from working with today’s volunteer. Here we go.

If you’ve ever tried working on childhood patterns or patterns with parents or toxic people, then likely you know it can be a little bit tricky. And what most people don’t realize, though, is that it can actually backfire in your life, and I see that all of the time. I see where people are working with their mind, and it’s keeping them stuck.

And so I want to share with you what those insights are because what can happen is I’ll see people who get the awareness of the power of the mind or ability to really heal ourselves, change our lives, and yet things that they’re doing with their mind are actually keeping them stuck. Now, the reason this is coming up today is because I worked with a beautiful volunteer.

His name is Michael, and this man was just so lovely. One of the most… Just sweetest, most beautiful beings. I love, I love the… Just everything about him. He’s so sweet. He’s a firefighter. He loves his wife. He just- he’s so sweet with her. Just the feeling towards his children. He’s just such a caring, beautiful man wanting to be his best self and, and just a beautiful, beautiful being.

So I loved working with him, and, and just an absolute sweetheart. And some of the things that he had been working on, though, were feelings that were kind of keeping him pretty frustrated inside. Now, one of the things that came up was a pattern of feeling this feeling of, of feeling frustrated with people and feeling like he couldn’t please people, like this, tried this effort to, like, people please and feel like he couldn’t do it, and then shutting people out of his life because he felt like it was painful.

And so that’s part of what I want to talk about because there’s, there’s multiple layers here, but basically what happened is as he’s experiencing this pain from a relationship or trying to please, but then he feels like he can’t, and then it feels frustrating or judgments or whatnot. There was a lot of hurt.

And so part of what can happen is this, and I see this all of the time, is people might look at their parents as they’re growing up and see their parents weren’t perfect. Now, you know, I’ve worked with thousands and thousands and thousands of people, and I’ve never met anybody who’s perfect. And, you know, and maybe they’re out there somewhere, but my point is most people aren’t perfect.

And if we look at our parents and we judge them harshly, what can happen is, is your mind can end up doing the same thing to yourself, and that is part of what’s happening. So there’s a couple layers here, but that’s part of what was happening with our beautiful being, Michael, today, is that as I worked with him, there was a part of him who was really kind of judging his parents for being, like, a, a harsh judgment.

Now- It’s a little tricky because part of the reason there was that harsh judgment, especially towards his stepfather and all of these things, was in a deeper part of him, he had a loyalty towards his real father. So his biological father, he had all of this love and loyalty towards his biological father, so his mind wanted to do what?

It wanted to fault find also in his stepfather more and more and more because it felt like this loyalty feeling. And so, a- and I get it, and I understand it, but the thing of it is, is that in trying to be this good man, which clearly he is, he’s just a wonderful being, but in doing so, there was this feeling of judging his stepfather for everything, which then of course made him feel unfortunately like a victim to it.

So, and, and more so like wronged and whatnot. So my point is is that with this pattern of feeling wronged, what happened, because he’s now like, “Oh, his stepfather is this, and his stepfather is this, and he’s bad, and he’s bad.” So he felt wronged, and so there was this, there’s a strong pattern of feeling wronged, wronged by a friend, wronged by this, so the, wronged by his mother.

And, and so what was happening is that this pattern’s perpetuating. So I know I’ve mentioned several different pieces, but if we stop and think about it for a moment, if we simplify this, basically every person is going to make mistakes at some point in time. That’s gonna happen, and especially if it’s our parents, then at some point in time, likely some of their mistakes or their imperfections in their character can definitely impact us.

And, and it’s something we all need to work on, you know? It’s part of, part of growing. And, and of course, to some extra, some people have more extremes than others and whatnot, and, and my point is, is this, is that the more harshly we judge our parents… All the time I see people then harshly judge self, and they don’t realize it.

So think about that for a moment, because it’s very tricky. Because it’s kind of like this, is that imagine somebody is judging, judging, judging their dad or their mom for being imperfect. Then what happens is every imperfection they have in themselves, if they’re getting frustrated, if they’re getting upset, if they’re, uh, angry or guilt- they do something, what happens is guilt goes up, and up, and up, and up.

And from a place of guilt, there’s a feeling of feeling bad or feeling of feeling undeserving, and that is part of what was going on with our beautiful volunteer today is exactly that, is that he’s this brilliant man who’s, who’s so sweet, who’s so loving, who’s such an amazing father, who’s such a sweetheart, and he’s got this feeling of feeling guilty and feeling bad ’cause he’s not, quote-unquote, “perfect.”

And of course, there was this other part of him that was, knew he was an amazing father. So the problem is, is as he was trying to really transform his life and keep going, he found that he kept having this sabotage that would come in. Like, he would be, feel like he’s getting ahead, and then stuck, and then feel like he’s getting ahead, and then stuck.

And ultimately, the stuckness was this judgment piece towards his parents, and then so it reflected then in self-judgment, which then felt guilt, which then felt undeserving, and is blocking him from ultimately having the life that he wants. So it’s a bit tricky, and I see this all of the time. Now, the other thing, if we really unpack this even more, I mentioned there was people pleasing.

There was a feeling of feeling, uh, you know, trying to please his mom also. That was another piece of the pattern. Now, this part is tricky, too, because it’s not necessarily pleasing people. I mean, let’s be honest. If we can please others and others are pleasing us and it’s a, it’s a beautiful love fest, that’s such a great energy.

That is the energy that you want. It’s beautiful. Now, what happened is because he felt like he couldn’t please his mom, he was trying and trying and trying and he couldn’t, and trying and trying and he couldn’t, and it felt painful. And so there was a part of him that said, “Okay, look, I just need to get her out of my life.”

Now, what he didn’t realize is that it was his pattern of feeling like it was hard to please and hard to please. So it was a ve- it was a very ingrained pattern So ultimately, the pattern also is showing up in a different area of his life. So I mentioned he’s an amazing father. He also has two daughters that are non-verbal.

And so what’s ultimately happening, as you can probably start to guess by now, is that he’s got a feeling of wanting to please them and also feeling like it’s hard to do, because after all, they’re non-verbal. And so from that place, he’s trying and trying and trying to please them, and it feels hard. It feels challenging.

So the very pattern that he had with his mother of feeling like he wanted to please her, but he felt like it was hard and he couldn’t, he’s now experiencing in a completely different way with his daughters that are non-verbal. And so when you stop and think about it for a moment, I mean, these patterns, they show up, and it’s like they’re invisible and yet so impactful.

But when you stop and think about it, I mean, oxygen is invisible, and yet we need it. And so when we think about these invisible patterns, but the way that they show up, th- they can keep you from really having the love, the happiness, the joy, the, the, the life that you want. And so ultimately, if we kind of just simplify this and we break it down to a couple quick takeaways, it’s this.

It’s number one, even if people are… have their mistakes, they have their flaws, they… even if they are an absolute mess, having compassion for them without judgment is going to be so key. You know, just not judging. Everybody makes mistakes, and it’s, and, and just really genuinely feeling that, where you’re not judging them.

You’re just, um, really, really… You know, discerning is one thing, so yes, we wanna discern, but there’s not a judgment because you don’t also want to judge self either, and that very thing can happen. So that’s one thing. And another thing is this, is I can’t tell you how often I’ve seen more and more people in self-help and spirituality say, you know, “Just leave your toxic parents,” or, “Just leave your toxic relationships,” or whatnot.

And our beautiful volunteer, he actually has a, has a pattern of ending relationships. So kept his father out of his life, his stepfather, his mother, uh, friends. Like, he just, he has a pattern of just kind of cutting people off and saying, “Done.” And, uh, and so it’s a pattern, though, in his life. And so if that is a pattern for you in your life, you may want to look at what is the underlying pattern?

What is going on at a deeper, deeper level? Because transforming that is key because, you know, if you think about our beautiful volunteer, just an absolute sweetheart, and that pattern of feeling like he couldn’t please his mom. So it wasn’t the people-pleasing. It was the unable to please, the frustration of the trying.

That feeling of not being able to was actually the pattern itself. So people pleasing wasn’t the pattern. The hurt underlying that was. And so really looking at that. So if you have a pattern repeating, look at why is it really there and really explore it at a deeper level because so often I’ll see people who, you know, they’re trying to make a change in their life and even if they start making changes, we have to make sure that we’re really, really, really clearing the underlying pattern because if not, it does.

It shows up and it shows up in so many different ways and repeats and I see it all of the time and I see it hold people back from the very thing that they’re wanting. And so just a few really helpful insights just because it’s so common and people don’t always see it and typically people don’t see it.

And so just food for thought and as always, if you’d like to listen to the actual session where I worked with our beautiful volunteer, you can click the link in the show notes and you can actually hear me working with him and you’ll… There’s more insights to gain from that as well, so that is there. And also if you’re somebody who’s really working on healing yourself, there’s also a free…

A, a link for a free training in the show notes, so that is available as well. And lastly, I want to ask you, please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know because the more that every single person in our world feels healthy and happy and loved and loving, truly the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button and please do make a point to have an incredible rest of your day. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We’ll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. If you’d like to become a volunteer or join our members area, you can do so by visiting BrandyGillmore.com. Also, please remember to be responsible with your health. This podcast is for inspirational purposes only. You won’t want to make any changes to your medication or to your medical care based on this podcast, nor would you ever want to avoid seeing your doctor.

Instead, it’s best to see your doctor regularly, keep them informed on what you are doing, and you could make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you