Questions (IQ): 3 Hidden Patterns That Can Create Hurt, Rejection, or Disconnection in Relationships (IQ. 278)

Welcome to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. I’m Brandy Gillmore, and what I’m most known for is helping people to create radical transformations and even demonstrating the power of the mind and self-healing under medical equipment so you can see the results. And my work has even been published in a medical journal because it’s truly incredible what we are all capable of when we understand our own minds at a deeper level.

So whether you’re new to this work or you’ve been studying the power of the mind for many years, I love that you are here. I love that we’re on this incredible journey together, and I look forward to sharing breakthrough information with you. That said, on this podcast, I’ll share two types of episodes.

First, self-healing episodes where I share key insights from working with live volunteers. And the second type are where I answer questions from the audience. That said, if you’d like to volunteer or submit a question, come visit me at BrandyGillmore.com. On that note, let’s dive in

All of the time I see people who are feeling hurt or rejected or unloved or disconnected in their relationships despite working on themselves for years and years and years. And so today I want to share with you a few key things that I see that are impacting relationships that people don’t realize, that are creating an underlying disconnect or hurt, and in many cases it can even be really subtle.

For example, so often I’ll see somebody who, you know, is very loving towards their partner or meaning to be, but they might say things that could negatively impact them. For example, a person might say, you know, “Oh, take care of yourself.” “Oh, oh, make sure to do this,” or, “Make sure to do that.” I’ll see a, maybe a, a wife telling her husband, you know, “Make sure to do this or do that, or take care of yourself, or don’t forget this, don’t forget that.”

And inside he starts to feel like it’s condescending or telling him what to do or, uh, nagging all of the time. Now, the place it’s coming from is a place of love and care and kindness or thoughtfulness, but it doesn’t feel like that. It’s that feeling, if you will, maybe if you’ve ever done this before where you’re driving a car and, and, uh, and you know where to go, but somebody’s telling you, “Oh, right here,” and, as you’re about to turn right.

And you go to turn left and they’re like, “Oh, left here.” And it’s like, it’s that feeling of always feeling like you’re being told what to do. And, and what I’ll see from that so often in relationships is somebody starts to shut down. It feels condescending all of the time or nagging. And so then what happens is a person may start to just shut down and just go, “Okay, whatever.

You’re right,” and kind of just start disconnect because there’s no way to, to make it stop, if you will. And I cannot tell you how often I see that. And then it can perpetuate in other ways. And so what can happen even from that place is then somebody, you know, starts to feel unloved, or they start to feel that disconnect because they feel it intuitively or whatnot or, you know, just emotional disconnect.

So then starts expressing feelings like, “I’m feeling like you’re not doing this or you’re not doing that,” which all come across critical. So then on top of that, a person may feel criticized because they’re not doing this or they’re not loving enough or they’re not that. And so as you can see, it starts to create this snowball effect, and I can’t tell you how often I see this very thing.

And so in each of these cases, if- You’d start… If, if there’s a change that occurs, if, if instead of saying in a relationship, instead of saying, “You’re not doing this,” or, “Not doing that,” instead what could be a much better approach would say, “Hey, how do we have fun together? How can we reconnect? How can, what can we do that would be fun or laugh or whatnot?”

But opening that feeling, that connectedness up even more would be a better way than coming at it with a criticism of what’s lacking and what’s not. And of course, it’s not about not ta- talking about what’s lacking, but it’s really about feeling what you want, where you want to go instead. And so just another thing that I see all of the time.

Now, if I add to this, again, it, this can show up in so many ways. Another thing that I’ll see is when there’s a disconnect or an argument that so often people want to win the argument. Now, what you want to remember, a real win in an argument in a relationship, the real win is that both people end up understanding each other better.

That is the win. That is the win. So if both people feel understood and both people feel like not only are they understood, but they also understand their partner better, that is the win. But so often what can happen, and maybe you’ve been here before, but so often what can happen in a relationship is somebody wants to be right.

They’re like, “But I did this,” or, “I did that.” And so if both people are wanting to be right, that creates the argument, or one person needs to be right and the other person just says, “Okay, you’re right,” and shuts down, and shuts down. So even in a relationship, if you’re arguing over being right, even if you win, you ultimately typically lose because the other person is still shutting down more or disconnecting or has to feel wrong all the time, and that creates a deeper and deeper disconnect, and many times a giving up of say, “Okay, you’re right.

Yeah, you’re right.” So the real, real, real win is instead is saying at the end of any disagreement is saying, “Okay, wait a second. Do I feel like I understood my partner better?” Or you know, this could be in any relationship, family, you know, mother, father, wh- whomever. But the real, real win is saying, “Do I feel like I understood where they’re coming from?”

Because the reality of it is, is so often people are not understanding the other person, and the more that you’re not understanding the other person and what’s really happening, the more the relationship is off and disconnect. And that’s why end up, people end up feeling hurt and rejected and unloved is because they’re not really understanding the other person.

But what can happen is if both people feel very understood- It becomes so much easier to just navigate a relationship. And so just food for thought. Now, of course, there are so many ways that I see people end up creating these disconnect at a, disconnect in relationships at a deeper level. But the reason I wanted to share this is, of course, because healing relationships and love is just so important in life.

But also the more hurt or rejection or loneliness or disconnect, that can affect your health and your life, and I see it all of the time. And, you know, in fact, if you think about my work, even under research with, you know, or under medical equipment with mind body healing, where people have been able to get incredible results, and you can see the power of the mind.

You know, a lot of times it can have to do with something in relationships. Not always, but it can show up in relationships where that hurt is coming from that then is affecting a person’s health and life. You know, as we know in research, even recent research has shown the impact of loneliness. And so we can see at a deeper level that these emotions can have a real impact.

Um, and so just food for thought, if your relationship has been disconnected, that maybe some of these changes could create a, a powerful impact and, and spread more love. And so of course that is the goal. And on that note, if you are somebody who is wanting to understand mind body healing and how I’ve been able to get incredible results, um, even under medical equipment, there is a link in the show notes for the medical journal and also a free training on how.

And so there’s that. Also, as far as this episode, please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know, because the more that every single person in our world feels happy and healthy and loved and loving, truly the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button, and please do make a point to have an incredible rest of your day. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode. We’ll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. If you’d like to become a volunteer or join our members area, you can do so by visiting BrandyGillmore.com. Also, please remember to be responsible with your health. This podcast is for inspirational purposes only. You won’t want to make any changes to your medication or to your medical care based on this podcast, nor would you ever want to avoid seeing your doctor.

Instead, it’s best to see your doctor regularly, keep them informed on what you are doing, and you could make it your goal to blow their minds with what you are capable of with your mind. Thank you