Questions (IQ): Well-Intended Advice That May Be Backfiring: How to Protect Your Child’s Mindset (IQ. 268)

Welcome to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. My name is Brandy Gillmore, and after recovering from my own life-changing injury, it’s become my mission to share with others the same discoveries I made that changed my health and my entire life. Our minds are truly incredible. The placebo is proof of this.

Each week, I will take this simple awareness to a whole new level. I will even coach live callers to free themselves of physical pain using only their mind. And then I’ll provide you with a combination of practical and spiritual insights that you can use to master your mind, your emotions, and your energy to help you heal your health, yourself, and your life.

Let’s begin.

So today I want to talk about a few important things that are being overlooked when it comes to protecting your child’s mindset and health and happiness, and also something that you can do to start creating a positive shift. Because so often I am seeing children being impacted, and not in the normal ways that you hear about, which has to do with, you know, TV and, and also social media, etcetera.

But I see things that are recommended to them that are actually backfiring in a horrible way, and I’ll share with you what that is, because I’m seeing it more and more and more. And of course, I, I know all of the time the, you know, loving mothers are doing everything they can, and they don’t realize that the very things that can actually be recommended for a child to do can actually backfire in a big way.

And so that’s what I want to talk about today. Because, you know, people more and more have been talking about, you know, happiness and mindset, and one thing that I see is this, is that I see children being, you know, encouraged to share their feelings, right? Which can be good, but it’s tricky, and we want to take it a step further, and this is what I mean, is that of course, as a society we’re, we started out suppressing emotions, and you wouldn’t wanna do that.

You wouldn’t wanna continue to suppress emotions. But what’s happening, and what we need to really look at, is that when we start sharing emotions, that doesn’t necessarily fix the problem either. You know, if it did, then anybody who vented about something, they would only vent once and then it would be done.

But have you ever seen somebody vent about the same thing over and over, and maybe even done that yourself, where you’re frustrated and you’re venting over and over? It’s the same thing showing up in different ways. Well, of course, now I’m seeing that in children, because what’s happening is that they’re being encouraged many times to talk about what’s happening, but not really shift it or take it to the next level.

And of course, again, we don’t want s- to suppress emotions, but if we talk about them, then we also want to take it to the next level. And even with a child, even if they’re talking about something and they’re sharing, then one simple thing that you could do is even ask them and just say, “Well, how do you want to feel instead?”

You know, as they’re sharing and whatnot, and hear, being heard, being acknowledged, but then really just asking simple thing, “How would you like to feel instead?” Now, if we think about it for a moment- If we look at it, really shifting how you feel in life is a superpower. You know, if you think about it for a moment, emotions breed more of the same.

Or even in my own life, I wouldn’t have healed myself if I didn’t learn how to radically shift my mindset. And so if we ground this in psychology for a moment, we could think about, you know, um, we could think about repetition compulsion or reenactments or attachment theory, but we can think about patterns breeding more of the same.

So, you know, um, unfortunately, a person can have a pattern of feeling rejected, and that pattern can continue throughout their life, or a pattern of abandonment or hurt. And so what’s happening, and I’m seeing this more and more and more, is children are being encouraged to talk more and more and more about the problem.

And unfortunately, it’s just repeating because they’re talking more and more and more and more about the problem. And so then I’m seeing children who are turning out, you know, becoming teenagers and, and they’ve been encouraged to talk about the rejection or the hurt over and over and over, and it is now amplifying in their lives and affecting their health and their life.

And even with these children, you know, I’m just going, “Okay, well, how do you want to feel?” And then, of course, helping them rewire their mind at a deeper level. Now My point is from this is of course creating that radical change. Now, I don’t just say this lightly or whimsically, you know. I know, you know, even in my own life, you know, uh, I mean, I…

If you know my story, I healed from wheelchair, walker, cane, and extreme pain, and I wouldn’t have done that unless I learned how to really shift my mindset. And so whether you’re working on healing or transforming and, uh, creating a radical change, of course learning to transform your mindset and your emotions and decide how you want to feel is key.

So none of us are feeling the victim to our emotions, but instead we’re in charge of our mind programming, we’re in charge of our mindset. And so, so often what I’m seeing is children reinforcing the negative in a, an extreme way because they’re being encouraged to talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, which is doing what?

Strengthening the neural pathways. Now, something more that I’m seeing, and this is really important, is this, is I’m seeing even children being encouraged to talk about health issues in a way that is amplifying the negative. Now, let me give you an example. A couple examples. Let me ground this first for a moment in a, in a simple analogy.

Okay? What can happen is the more that illness gets linked up in the mind, the more it can perpetuate in different ways. And one way to think about it is like this, is, you know, maybe you’ve heard me talk about this before, where a little child, they fall down and they get an owie. And so if they get a little owie and a loving adult comes by and says, “Let me kiss your boo-boo.

Let me kiss your owie,” what can happen at that moment is love can get linked up to owie, not because it’s on purpose, but because those two things happened at the same time. And so even in the future, the child may say, “Owie, kiss my boo-boo,” or something like that because love gets linked up to owie. Or another way to think about it is maybe you’ve heard before, if a child doesn’t get positive attention, they’ll get negative attention.

And so the, the negative can get linked up to the positive, and I see that all of the time. But what’s happening is in our culture I’m seeing that hugely amplified, and what I mean, let me give you an example. On multiple occasions, I’ve worked with children who are very, very sick, and as I worked with them and understood what was going on in their life, what is the str- like, what is going on, because their parents, after they weren’t getting better anywhere else, their parents brought them in and said, “You know, what is going on?

They’re not getting better,” etcetera. And what I’ve found so many times is a couple things, is, is that they’ve had instances of getting so much love and attention for illness That even though they want to heal, it doesn’t feel safe to heal. And, and by the way, this is even something that I wrote about in my book because I’ve seen it so often.

But if I continue to unpack this, um, and by the way, the example that I use in my book, real quick, let me give you… Let me ground this and keep this, because so often, uh, the subconscious mind does differently what the conscious mind is, n- does and wants. And so if I give you a simple example that’s in my book, it is this.

It is that, um, it is that, you know, I use this example of this young boy, Johnny, and basically, he went to school, and he would go to school, and he felt like he was being picked on. And so he didn’t feel safe, and he started to get a tummy ache, and then he came home, and when he was home, he felt safe. He felt loved.

He felt connected. And then he would go back to school, and he felt bullied, and he didn’t feel safe, so then he’d get a stomach ache. And then he’d come back home, and he felt loved, and he felt connected and safe. And that happened repeatedly over and over. Now, the thing of it is, Johnny wanted to go to school, but his subconscious mind started to link up that it was not safe to heal, to, safe to get better, because why?

Because then he would have to go back to school and deal with those kids that he felt bullied. So even though he wanted to go to school, that got linked up in his mind, so his body did not feel safe to heal at a subconscious level, and it felt more love and safety if it stayed home with his mother, and sick.

And of course, he didn’t want that consciously. He wanted to go play. He wanted to go play soccer and, you know, do all of these things. And so my point is that it gets linked up at a deeper level Now expanding on this, I have seen multiple occasions where I’ve worked with children who weren’t getting better and weren’t healing, and somewhere along the way, even a school counselor or somebody, like, they, they had some type of injury or illness or whatnot, and, and one example with a young little y- little girl, she was told to write a book about her illne- or about her injury.

She broke her arm and had some different things going on. She was told to write a book about it and then share it with the class to help her process emotions, and that’s how she was going to process emotions. What did that do? It backfired. She got so much love and attention for being the sick child that it got stuck in her mind and in her subconscious mind.

And of course, she didn’t want to be sick consciously, but at a deeper level, she had so much love and attention from the entire class. She became, like, the coolest kid in the class because she had this broken arm and this story to tell about it that do you think her body wanted to heal and go back to being, quote-unquote, “uncool” where she was before?

It didn’t. It got linked up in her subconscious mind, and this was the suggestion of a school therapist to write this book. Now, this is the thing, is this is what’s tricky, is of course the therapist had the best intentions in mind, but I see this all of the time. Now, if you think about it, is that even in our world, you hear people say all of the time, “We know very little about the mind.”

You hear that. Research says, they admit, you know, the, the mind, we know very, very little about the mind. So most people don’t fully understand how, of course, how the mind works, so even suggestions… So my, my point is from this is, is you want to think about the mind in a different way. Now, by the way, even the results that I’ve been able to get under medical equipment, you know, if you’ve seen my work in the medical journal showing where I show people how to use their own mind to release chronic pain in minutes, even after they’ve been meditating for years and thinking positively for years and, and doing all of the things, the affirmations, the, all of the things, and they’ve still been stuck, and I show them how to use their mind to release pain in a very short period of time because I understand the mind in a different way.

Or by the way, even if you listened to last week’s podcast episode where I worked with our beautiful volunteer, Sue, I mean, if you think about it, in Sue’s case, she had, she’s had MS for 30 years, and as soon as we stepped into our session to work together, she was like, she wa- she was so excited. She had started my video course and she was, she had taken 85 steps.

She was like, “I walked 85 steps, and this is what I did.” And it was so, so, so sweet. My point is, is just we really need to understand the mind in a different way that so often the very things that are happening and are, are being recommended are backfiring, and I don’t see it once in a while or occasionally.

Literally every single day of my life, I see people doing or recommending things that backfire all of the time, every day, all of the time. And my point is, is that what you want to do is really understand the logic and understand the mind in a different way. By the way, which, by the way, my book can share that with you.

Now, I do want to say really quick on that note, my book is actually sold out right now on Amazon, so more books are coming. So if you want that, there, that is available. It is sold out, which is fantastic because it just means more and more people are getting into mindset and, and, um, understanding the mind and how it works.

So I love that, and there’s more copies on the way. I think they’re a couple weeks away or something like that. But point being is just that We really, really need to work with the mind in a different way to really understand it in a different way. And so the, again, the simple insight, the simple takeaway, because I know that this can feel complex, but the simple insight is, we could take from this is one thing is this, is making sure, we, we already said previously, we said, ask your child even how they want to feel.

So if they’ve had something and you hear them and you listen to them and you understand them, then you can also say, “Okay, how would you like to feel?” Because being able to really shift your mindset is a superpower, and so that could be just a simple start. And then another thing would be to make sure to just, that they feel like they get love and attention and safety for something other than illness or problems or whatnot, because if they feel like there’s more attention or love or connectedness for illness or for problems or hardship or sympathy or rejection or whatever it is, then the mind can want to unconsciously go in the wrong direction.

Not because it’s consciously linked up, but because that sub- that information gets in the subconscious mind. And so that is key, and those are the insights that I want to share. Just love, connection, and moving children in a positive, positive direction, um, is key. So those are a few quick insights, and of course, if you are somebody who would like to understand mind body healing at a deeper level, there is a free training in the show notes that is available.

And as always, I want to ask you, please do take just a quick moment to hit the share button on this episode. You know, share it with somebody you love, somebody you care about, or somebody you don’t even know, because the more that every single person in our world feels healthy and happy and loved and loving, truly the better this world is for all of us.

And so please do hit the share button, and please do make a point to have an incredible rest of your day. And by the way, if you’re somebody who’s wanting to see the results in the medical journal, there’s a link in the show notes for that as well. Or there’s also that is available and explained even more in the free training.

So just really thinking about the mind and working with it in a different way is key for getting a different result, and really understanding it in a different ways. Key, key to happiness, love, life, and transformation and healing. So those are the insights today. It’s been a pleasure. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

We’ll see you there.

Thank you for listening to Heal Yourself. Change Your Life. All of the time people reach out and say how much these episodes have given them hope or touched their heart or helped them stay positive in hard times, or even woken them up to a completely new level of awareness of how amazing we all really are.

If today’s episode touched your heart or expanded your mind in any way, please do me a favor and be sure to share it with those you care about or those you know who really need it. As more and more people become empowered, it really will change our world for the better. That is the point and the power of these demonstrations, is to create a radical shift in our world consciousness by showing everyone what we are all capable of.

And of course, each volunteer will really need to follow through to reinforce their programming to maintain their results. But the point is for you to see that you really can create rapid results in your health and your life if you really understand how to use your mind. You’re incredible. And I do want to be clear, though, that most people will not get results this fast on their own.

I make it look very easy because of the discoveries that I made. You’ll want to remember that there’s so much more going on in our minds at a deeper level than people realize. That said, if you want to send me any questions or comments, come visit me on my website at BrandyGillmore.com/podcast. And if you’re currently experiencing physical pain and would like to be a volunteer on the show, you can sign up there as well.

Lastly, please remember, if you do have any health issues, you won’t want to avoid your doctors. Instead, you’ll want to continue seeing them and make it your goal to blow their minds with what you’re capable of with your mind. Thank you.